Joe_Bartolozzi
ETSY PRODUCT REVIEW TIME INTO WIFIES MINECRAFT ARG REACT JOIN JOIN JOIN
04-05-2026 · 5h 08m
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I don't know should I have for the for the fucking viewers that pull up before nobody should I have my mic on my mic stand or here I
I feel like it's a little it blocks a lot if I have the mic in frame versus my chat did not cast that's a group that does that. I'm almost certain of that you could look into that it happens like every tournament.
A lot of that shit's behind closed doors buddy but I don't think my chat would do that if they did I did not tell them to anyways.
Anyways, should I have my mic hand chat?
Hold on, before we do the intro, should I have my mic how it is right now, like this,
for the Etsy review, or should I have it on the stand?
I don't know.
I feel like I might keep it here and kind of just like pick it up.
Like, can you hear it like this?
Does it sound normal?
Put it on the stand, but let's test out the stand.
This might break the fucking stand.
If I lean it this way too much.
is that good? Do we like that more? Do we like that more? I don't want to stand to snap.
Is that better? Way better. Alright, fire. Hold up. I'm going to move forward a little
bit then. Okay, is that good? Alright. Sorry. I always forget what I, I feel like I change
Every time I do one of these videos of like how I have my mic set up and everything, but who cares I think guys
Everybody bloody good
How's everybody doing on this fantastic fucking Sunday everybody chat we are live early today
And we're doing something quite special now number one
Happy Easter if you celebrate Easter happy Easter
If you are you know Christian you probably celebrate Easter or if you're in the United States
You might be hanging out with your family. Anyway, regardless of whether you're not really religious or not
But how do you serve the people that celebrate it chat?
We are live early today
Because I wanted to get my stream out of the way
Earlier rather than later on Easter day and we are going to be doing something very special
We have an Etsy review
Double the chat, double the chat.
So about a month, it might have been over a month ago,
it might have been like two months ago.
This has probably been the longest time gap
from buying the products to actually reviewing the products
that we've ever had.
For the YouTube viewers, it's instantaneous.
But for us, it has been two months.
It is now Easter day at the time that I'm reviewing this.
I think I bought these products
in like late February.
Did I buy them in March?
It's been over a month.
We've done an Amazon review.
We've done a T-MU review.
I think that's it in terms of like large scale
like buying chats suggested products.
But we did Etsy this time around
and there are a lot of handmade products.
So some of the things took forever to come in
but they're finally in now.
Before we even get started, I do have to say,
well, this is kind of getting started.
One of the products came in broken.
OK?
So do you want to take a guess what
it was for the people that even the YouTube viewers would
be able to guess because they know the products that I
ordered because it's literally they saw five seconds ago.
But for Stream, you might not remember anything
that we bought.
I kind of barely remember the things
that we got because I've been kind of accruing
these objects over the last two months.
so it's gonna be almost like a Christmas day surprise for me.
No, the mouse did not break.
Actually, to start off the review,
we have a taxidermied mouse holding a modicle,
and I believe some sort of pipe.
His feet are very sharp.
This is a dead rat, this is a dead mouse for the people,
this is taxidermied, it's, I would say cute
as well as kind of creepy.
I don't really know how I feel about taxidermy.
I don't really know how I feel about taxidermy.
If it's like, okay, I'm gonna say this,
people that go hunting and then they put
like their deer head on the wall,
I feel like that's a different level of tax
for me than this, but that is disturbing
because I always feel like they're looking at me,
whereas this is kind of cute and not,
it doesn't upset me as much.
I hope the rat lived a wonderful life though,
because now he's a stuffed animal.
What are your thoughts on stuffing pets?
I would say that's a no-go.
I just would say if you stuff your pet, that's creepy.
Stuffing a pet's weird, stuffing a rat, maybe not so much.
But there's a lot, there's a small, not a lot,
there's a lot of people,
but a small subsect percentage of pet owners
that for some reason when they're like Chihuahua
or fucking golden retriever or whatever dies,
they go, oh, I know, I'm gonna get it skinned and stuffed.
What the fuck?
Also gonna have to take side note
that when people clone their pets, also a little weird,
because now it's genetically the same, it looks the same,
but it's not the same dog, you know what I mean?
It's still different personality,
even though it's not a human level of consciousness.
Like Tom Brady clones his dogs.
I don't know why he does that.
Maybe I guess it's the perfect breed.
Now, sorry, you know, that was a good start.
Now we have to, we'll get it out of the way.
I'm very upset about this.
I'm not gonna refund it,
because I don't really think it's the seller's fault,
more so UPS handling the package.
But this is going to upset some people.
The ray gun, the ray gun that was a lot came in broken.
So it came with a mystery box, which I did not know that it
would, which I think is also a cool addition.
So I'm not going to knock the seller for this.
but it did come in broken.
This part was supposed to be stuck on like this.
So it would have looked like a perfect ray gun
and you would have been able to reload it too.
I think I'm still gonna keep this.
I think there's a world where I just super glue this back on
and it kind of just is fine.
I would super glue it.
Adapt has one.
Yeah, they're really cool.
It also has like movable parts.
I think adapts might actually glow.
This is like an Etsy seller.
This is definitely 3D printed, but it's heavy.
And it probably took a while to make.
So I'm not turbo upset about it,
but I did expect at least one product to come in broken.
So I'm, it's shitty that it's that one,
but I'm happy it was only one.
But yeah, so how this is gonna work
is we're going to review each of these products.
And normally I kind of review them and then we move on.
And I kind of just go through each product.
I feel like it would be fun to give it not a rating,
but a is it worth it?
You know, because if I'm buying a product on Amazon or Timo,
it's not really coming from an individual seller.
Most of the time it's like big business.
Whereas this is a lot of like individual sellers.
And I think we should do, would I recommend this product?
That one is going to get voided.
I'm not going to have an opinion on that
because I couldn't review it because it was broken.
I'm not upset at the seller, though.
But we have to do the taxidermy mouse.
I would give this a worth it.
I think this was like $30, which maybe a lot of money
for a dead rat.
But somebody had to stuff it and also super glue his butt
to this funny chair and give him a monocle.
Oh, sorry.
And give him a monocle and whatever weird pipe thing this is.
I think it's a pipe.
Give me one up and close of the dead rat.
I would keep him in the background.
Like, I would say it's worth it
because I would put him here.
I don't know.
He doesn't really fit there, does he?
I got a lot of Funko pops and like Smea skis and other shit give him a name
What do we name him?
Let feel let feel left. Is it a rat or a mouse? That's gonna change what I name it
This is a mouse right rats are a lot bigger. I saw a rat in Boston for the first time
I've been in New York many a time been in Philly many a time. I
Know they have rat problems. They're little sneaky devils. You don't see him a lot
Maybe in the subway, but you don't really see him when I was in Boston. I saw fucking a
Hog of a rat just run across the street. I was like whoa
Whoa that they could eat through drywall Rennie that's lame. I like Eustace
wait, he needs some sort of a
professional name. You know, he's a very, he's a very classy guy. He has an Abraham Lincoln top hat on. And obviously he's into the fine arts. So something he needs a first day and a last name. Eugene Blumkin. That's what we're going to go with. I took Eugene and I added Eugene Blumkin at the end. That's his name. Don't look up the word Blumkin.
I'm serious. Anyways, hold up. Let me read down Israel Crock.
Yeah, and ban Think of the Sub, think of the Sub 3.
They make special glue for 3D printers that you could,
you could use a Cameron's or Chud.
Cracketscape, Think of the Sub, Dow and Luxe of the Sub.
Oncemoggle, Aiden Your, S891, Think of the Sub of Tier 3,
Think of the Tier 3, Jen and At, Think of the Sub.
Hairyshifty, JPZ, Noah, too.
Love, Cloudy, Harrow, Malik, Lee, and Ishii of the Sub,
Lazard, C, Shake of the Sub.
Yo, I'm also going to say, later after Etsy reviews, if you want to send bits, that's fine.
Please don't send bits right now because I'm fucking far shit from my monitor,
so it's kind of hard to read like long done to us.
Harry, Stales, DJ2, and Penny, thank you for the sub.
Rosie, thank you for the tier 3.
Still Turvin, yeah, and Bandino, thank you for the sub.
Okay. Now, I don't really know what order we should go,
and we have some big items, some small items,
so I think I'm going to try and, you know, interweave them here and there.
Let's go.
Okay, see now we're starting out. This was a bit of a grab bag. This is not we have higher quality products in this. Trust me this
We didn't we weren't just buying taxidermy grats and 3d printed objects from Etsy
This is this was entirely chat's idea for me to get this. This is Danny de Cito
It's actually pretty solid oh and it's a magnet
He's kind of staring at the surface of the sun right now with the lava lamp.
Put it on a YouTube plaque.
Hey buddy, those are made of, wait, this will actually be the real or fake test on
YouTube blasts.
now with the lava lamp.
Put it on a YouTube plaque.
Hey, buddy, those are made of ma-
Those are made of what?
Wait, this will actually be the real or fake test
on YouTube blasts.
They're made of wood, if you didn't know that.
If you cut into a YouTube plaque,
They're just like, I think there's a very thin level of like metal, but they make it like more shiny
They had to cut a lot of corners because
There's so many YouTube plaques that have been getting shipped out like YouTube shorts made it a lot easier for channels to get a lot of subs
And YouTube as a platform is a lot bigger. So the the plaques have been changing constantly
Beauty thank you for the 10 gifted subs frosted 22 for the subs still out. Yeah, and Torban thinking about the sub
But yeah, all right, next next actual product
Actually see what I'm gonna grab
It's a magic conch from SpongeBob if you were a SpongeBob fan and you're a kid
This is a magic conch and it is pullable. I
I did put batteries in it.
I had to make sure that was the only thing.
I want to say I did not review these products prior to stream,
but a lot of them similar to the Teamu reviews
required batteries or some form of assembly.
So it is the magic conch.
Let's mute the music.
Editor, mute the music.
We're going to turn off the game. Hold up.
I need to ask you a question, don't I?
Wait, let's make sure it works first.
Yes.
Okay, that was a little weird.
Let me turn up the gain on my mic.
They changed OVS.
I'm not sure how to do that.
Offward.
Filters.
Here we go.
Okay.
What should we ask it?
Temporary gain increase.
I already gained an increase, just so you can hear the conch.
A bit of an ASMR.
Am I gay?
Magic conch.
Am I gay?
I know you want to, but you can't right now.
Okay, so it's saying I can't be gay right now, but that's okay.
I'll be gay later.
Um, it's another question.
know what else I would ask it. It looks like a rose toy. It's not a fucking rose toy. It's a plastic
conch shell you dick. Was the moon landing real? Okay, that doesn't answer the question.
It doesn't answer the question. I feel like we're just getting a bag of treks here. We're just
Just pulling out of random, I feel like it has to be something that's like answerable.
Yes, no, maybe.
She's giving me whole sentences right now.
Should I grow my beard again?
Not with that attitude.
All right, all right, fucking asshole.
Just asking you a question, geez.
Not with that attitude.
I don't even have an attitude.
Being nice.
Wow.
All right.
Okay, so I was gonna say like who's gonna win the World Cup I can't ask it's like I can't ask it that it has to be like a yes or no
Yes or no question
Will USA win the World Cup
Okay, wait this thing's getting a little more accurate
I was very curious what the answer was going to be, um, would I make a good Fen Boy?
Go right ahead if you want to die.
Go right ahead if I want to die, what does this thing give me death threats now?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Alright, if I want to die, what does this thing give me death threats now?
How many how many like voices do you think is on this?
That's kind of cold bro, what?
Hmm is Epstein alive, why am I really gonna ask a magic conch shell from at scene that okay?
Okay
Hmm, I think that's pretty solid
Another question, another important question, it's lying.
Where are you lying right there?
Do nothing.
Okay, that doesn't answer my question.
Are you avoiding, are you avoiding, are you avoiding what I'm saying right now?
You should go for it.
Okay.
All right, so I was starting to have some level of validity here,
but now I think it's, I think it's acting like it doesn't understand me,
But it does and so it's kind of like acting stupid to make me thrown off from the whole is Epstein alive thing
Palm Beach feet is Palm Beach feet Jeffrey Epstein
That literally that it had that has nothing to do with what I just asked it
It's AI wait, okay, I'm just gonna rapid fire some answers
Yes. Without a doubt. You no longer have a choice. No. No is the optimal time to commit. Yes. You could not live with your own failure and where did it bring you? Back to me.
I could not live with my own failure and it brings me back to you
What in what were what question would I have asked it where that would have been a valid response?
There was a Thanos line you know what the hell I
Feel like they just randomly like AI put a bunch of okay. This is a fun product. Is this worth it? Yes
I think it was like 40 bucks
I
Not have been like $38 editor. Can we throw up the original price of
These products that I paid when I review them because I'm not gonna remember so that'd be really appreciative if you could have like
The price of the product that I bought like I think this is like 38 bucks 35 bucks
I would say it's worth it. It's a little mean product. Am I ever really gonna use it much probably not?
But you know, it's not like a throwaway
Okay, I'd keep it.
Next, we have something, I didn't get scissors.
Fuck, okay, wait, I think we'll be able to open this.
Something in here.
I don't know what's in here, but, oh, I know what it is.
I know what it is.
Does anybody remember what I ordered?
I know what this is.
Ah, fuck. How do I- I might have to go grab scissors real quick.
We're gonna turn the music back on.
Fuck.
Yo, counting down, like, 10 seconds.
We're back and we're locked.
Chat, what do you think this is?
It's a good product, let me tell you.
I haven't even seen it and I know it's going to be a good product.
It's getting a thumbs up from me.
I was very excited when I ordered these.
got it right. Do I say or do I do a big reveal? It's not cocaine. You think I got cocaine
on Etsy. Fucking idiot. I was right. Okay. First starters, they come in a wrapping, they
come in their own fucking foiling package, like I'm gonna fucking use that shit. Card
sleeve. Do a zoom. We got to get close. Thick Blastoise. It's a solid, it's a solid gold
Pokemon card. Thick Blastoise. We also have another one. Another one here. Wait, what
Lurez moves.
Let's zoom in.
Jesus, that was hard.
Pause.
Thick blastoise.
He has moves like soggy bottom and hydrohands.
Solid metal.
Next.
Oh, see, this is kind of sad.
This feels like it's...
This feels a little fucked up thick Pikachu
He has a move called booty clap and thunder cheeks
Also solid metal
100 HP severe thick Pikachu can cause a blinding lightning storm
Last voice thick last voice leads you feeling wet with a single touch. Wow
Wow.
My God, these are getting put on display.
And third, I think it's a Charizard.
It might be a Venusaur.
I haven't looked.
It's a Charizard.
Wow.
See, Fire Ring doesn't even sound like a fucking butt-related move.
Flip a coin if it fails, search your deck for thick Pokémon and put them in your
hand.
cards blazing buns do you think you could actually these are like playable cards that's
what's funny they're solid metal which I love dude this is fucking sick I think this is
only like 12 bucks I mean they really are just like printed cards on metal but this
is awesome this is like the coolest thing that I think we pulled I threw out the
fucking sleeves why would I want a card sleeve for these like what am I gonna
scratch it it's metal waste of money it's a fucking waste of money it's a cool
card what do you mean that's not there's no actual MSRP value on them there's no
MSRP value on them they have no resale value because they're not actually
graded Pokemon cards they're clearly fakes and you're not able to keep you're
not able to use that attorney play and be the same thing as like a duplicate
printer printed card you're not able to use that. So to me that makes it about as
about as worth as a balbasaur but probably from a bad generation a little
a little crumbed up too. Next to this card that I bought actually this isn't a
part of the Etsy review somebody tell me how much this is worth. I bought the
on what not for an ad. I just took it out of the sleeve. It's a Mew. It's probably like
20 bucks if I had to guess. Maybe less, maybe like 15. It's still a pretty cool card to keep
it. And I like Mew as a Pokemon. $3. It's not two cents Chad. Get the fuck out of
Okay, put it in safekeeping.
Let me unzoom.
Sorry, I'm wearing short shorts right now.
Any hoosers, let's lock back in.
Many more products to go through.
Are they denim? No, they're not denim. You think I wear denim shorts?
Uh, this is like the stupidest fucking product.
I feel like you, I don't remember, I don't remember if this was a product. I think I wanted
to buy this and then I, it came in and I went, why did I buy this? The annoying pickle. It's a
a yodeling tickle. How do you fucking turn on? God, I'm staring at his asshole right
now. Sorry.
Just
This is just infinitely fucking go.
I pressed the button one time.
Oh, he's dead.
Well, that was a long yodel.
I feel like normally you click something,
it does like a little voice line for like half a second.
That was beautiful.
I kind of wanna throw him in a trash.
I'm not gonna lie.
I feel like this is fucking landfill material, dude.
Annoying pickle.
I think this was like also 30 bucks.
He also has like shattered legs, dude.
Do you see this?
You see this shit?
His limbs are like very flabby.
And I think I'm supposed to lean him on like an edge
like this and he just sits there.
This is like some shit you would have
at like your grandparents' house.
Your German grandmother.
Oops!
Fuck, oh my god.
He's still yodeling!
Stop yodeling, Jesus.
Okay.
Okay, I feel like we should do a big product. Should we do a big product now? No, we have
so many small products. We'll do like two or three more small products. I'll do a big
one.
Oh
It's the fuck candle
I'm gonna go back to the ball.
Why would somebody, oh my god.
And this is, see, I was like, what is this?
It doesn't smell like anything.
It doesn't smell like anything.
And it's like super realistic too.
That's what's like actually the most disturbing about it.
That's like, oh my god, that looks like a real ass foot.
I don't want to light it
because the wax is just gonna drip everywhere.
Just to get a just to get a vibe
No, I feel like I have to light it. I bought like a $10 foot can oh yodeling pickle by the way not worth it
No, that's a trash product. Also. Why are they selling that on Etsy? It's not handmade
It's just like a random ass Amazon product. I
I came to the sub camp thinking of the three. Halo attack mr. With the sub all ball and give Sean and mad thank you for the sub
They have it super thinking for the red. It's for the sub nice. Thank you for the three
Then thank you for the sub after of the sub
Broad and Michael for the subway thinking of the sub
Rubin Jackson for the sub Z thinking of the sub its base. They give it a thousand buddies
Salty thinking of the thousands of buddies. Can you send the likes of the products on discord? No?
You'll see him in the video can you think of the sub open I'm for the sub and be in cap think of the sub salty for the thousand
But he's
CB and Daniel think of the sub log think of this of the three carding case of the sub Nate and let's think of the sub vibe
And Razi for the sub chat. He's little 10 bits are in the review. I apologize. I'm not gonna be able to read them right now
Yeah, we got to go light it. Oh my god. I gotta go grab a fucking lighter
All right, hold up
I should also do this.
All right, carry on.
Don't ask about this, there's another product coming in that I forgot about that I'm just
gonna need that for anyways. Anyways, you'll find out later. Alright. Oh, also peep this
sick lighter I got. It's an oxalotl smoking pipe. Okay, maybe let's not like the candle
like that.
Dude, the wax is already dripping.
The wax is already dripping everywhere.
W Focando?
OK, here's what I'm going to say.
Do I think it's worth the money I paid for it?
No.
Do I think it's a good foot candle?
Yeah.
I mean, hyper realistic.
Whatever molding they did on this is fantastic.
I just don't see a world.
It smells horrid, by the way.
I don't know if it's supposed to smell like foot.
It might be the,
I feel like I gotta let it burn for a little bit
to get the smell.
It's going to leak some wax all over the place.
What do we think the smell is?
I think I selected vanilla.
I'm not getting vanilla.
And it went out.
Wait.
Hold up.
This might be an L product if it can't stay wet itself.
pretty dimly lit candle, I might say. The only other problem is, okay, that was definitely me.
That was definitely, that was my, that was my, that was my breath that put that out. I don't
like this product. I don't think it's worth it, but I still think it's a good foot candle.
I just don't see a world where I would buy it. But it's not a bad price for a foot candle.
So I actually will say good product it's in the trash can I'm never gonna use that. Okay next
Gloves for gloving
Uh, you guys actually didn't want me to order these I if I remember correctly and I said, uh hell no
No, I'm deaf. Okay. That's definitely like an epilepsy problem. Okay. Is there any solid color? Jesus.
Is there any solid colors on the fingertips? Why is it like Christmas lights? How do I get them to move normally or just like,
oh wait, I could just do only rainbow. There we go. There we go. There we go.
I'm gonna have to turn on, I'm gonna have to turn off the lights for this, but Chad, I've been practicing a routine.
Are you guys ready?
I think I do know how to do one gloving move though.
And it's gonna look fucking awesome.
I know there's a whole gloving side of TikTok as well that loves doing performances and they
are pretty lit.
They'll do it to like OG 2012 monster cat music.
Wow, this looks actually fucking awesome
We got to put on a crazy song editor put on a non copyright crit like Skrillex X song
What's that one song? It's like
You know what I'm talking about
You know what I'm talking about
Monster cat. I'm just gonna put on like arrow chord. No just monster cat monster cat
But
We ought to pop a pass
This is the move I know
Hey
What's like a good glubbing move?
Hold up.
Hold up.
I gotta look up Gloving for Beginners.
Gloving for Beginners.
Yo, what is up guys?
Bubba here from GlovingAcademy.com.
This video features 18 basic Gloving tutorials
and is great for those who are starting
to get into Gloving.
This video teaches you some of the most important moves
that you need to know.
At the end, there's a checkpoint video
where I demonstrate how to put all these moves together
into a full light show.
And I even recommend following along.
Two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
Then you're gonna do them all consecutively.
Wee!
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
What?
What?
How is he doing the finger roll like that?
Bro, I can't even get the glove on.
I got some cheap ass gloves, bro.
Dude, I need to invest in higher quality materials.
Geez, OK.
Like, finger handle.
One, two, three, close.
Open one hand, then open the other.
Close, close.
Open, open, close, close.
Open, open, close, close.
Now you're going to open each finger individually.
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
Then you're going to close them all.
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
Then you're going to do them all consecutively.
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
It's not that easy. No, it's not. It's just not that easy. It's just not that easy
What the fuck bro? I feel like I feel like the ligaments in my fingers are not allowed
You bro, it's just not that simple. He's finger rolling like so fast
You're gonna open
Close open close open close open close now
We're gonna open each individual finger one two three four one two three four
It's important to look for this U shape here or this point of symmetry.
It's important to look at the U shape here, the point of symmetry.
If your fingers don't look like this, I would say rewind another 30 seconds.
You're probably going to need to go over it again.
Continuous finger roll, stacked finger roll, overhand whip.
You're going to put your hands in the fist and combine your wrists together.
With your top hand you're going to open your pointer all the way to your pinky.
No that actually looks fire, hold on.
I'm done with this shit.
I'm done with that I'm done with
that I'm not gloving anymore.
I thought I was cooking.
Was I not?
I got to turn him off.
I got to keep these.
D-glove him.
Bro, how long do you think that guy's been gloving for?
If he's that good.
I have really shitty gloves now that I'm thinking about it.
How much should I spend on these?
I don't know.
I think it's worth it because it's fun.
but like these are, these are pretty low quality gloves.
Like you could, you could realistically get like,
look at these, bro.
I got the fucking mittens.
You can probably get better ones for like way cheaper.
Hold up, I gotta get back to regular fucking music.
There we go.
Dude, this guy's whole account was on Gloving.
I kind of want to do like a deep dive.
Gloving Academy.
Look at this shit.
Gloving competitions, Q&A.
Gloving ambidextrously with Starlight.
Puppets versus Megafloth?
Oh, shit.
I'm not going to lie that kind of looks like garbage, bro.
Comparable to my, my, my fucking, what was my maneuver called?
The patent pending.
Wait, that's actually hard.
Bro.
And it probably matches the music.
Wait, mute this shit.
I
Think it was aura until the cutthroat whenever you see somebody going this
I'm like, oh god, what are you the Joker fuck?
Okay next product
Hold up.
Holding up.
Okay.
Next product.
I think of the five gift it's clover. Thank you for the five gay bitties
Happy Easter. Thank you. Happy Easter to you as well. Tell us a little thank you for the sub
WV rooses thank you for the three calm and see mom for the sub none think of the sub
I should thank you for the three. I can't for the seven sir. Thank you for the five gift is
Crowd I think of the five so all right lock in
Mr. Beast is live don't care all right back to product
I'm very excited for this.
Man walks into a bar over 6000 of the most hilarious jokes, funniest insults, and gut-busting
one-liners.
Dude, this will carry stream for the next, like, six months.
Oh my god.
My Hawk 2 a joke salt but that Hawk 2 a joke book that I had from the Amazon review ran out. All right, let's got one here
Flip to a random page. Oh
disabilities
Wow, they got categories that they make jokes about here, I don't know
You know, dyslexia, oh, God, education college.
What's the difference between a university and an asylum?
This is where you say what?
To get out of an asylum, you have to show some improvement.
How can you tell if an elephant is sitting behind you in a bathtub?
You can smell the peanuts on his breath.
How do you know there's an elephant under your bed?
When your nose starts to touch the ceiling.
Why are there a hundred elephant jokes?
Dude, no, there's no way.
What's the red stuff between an elephant's toes?
Slow pygmies.
What does that even fucking mean?
How does an elephant hide in a cherry tree?
He climbs to the top and paints his nuts red.
Wait, that's actually funny.
Wait, that's a good one.
That's a good one.
Wait, that's actually a good one.
Oh my God.
What's the difference between an elephant and a flea?
An elephant can have fleas, but a flea can't have elephant.
Oh, wow.
of ethnic jokes. That's great. Wow. Okay. ethnic Caribbean. There's two jokes. When you flip
over to Jewish, there's one, two, three, four pages. So Native Americans, Scottish Polish.
Yeah, I don't think I don't know if I want to read any of these
Dude the German the ethnic German joke is a German joke is no laughing matter Mark Twain. Oh
That's fucked up wait
Oh God
I feel like we have 6,000 jokes give us one.
A Jewish woman had two chickens, one got six, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one.
That doesn't even make sense.
This is a Russian joke.
A Polish soldier is asked who he'd shoot first if he came across a Russian soldier and a German soldier.
The Russian soldier replied the poll.
Business before pleasure.
What's 50 feet long and lives on potatoes?
Oh, this is a different joke.
I thought this was a continuation of the first joke.
What's 50 feet long and lives on potatoes?
Russians.
What a Russian meat line.
Jesus.
All right, let's move fast.
You think they came up with these themselves?
Oh, they have a whole page of fat yo mama jokes.
Yo mama so fat her dressmaker takes her measurements in light years
Yo mama so fat I ran around her twice and got lost
Yo mama so fat no one can talk behind her back
Yo mama so fat she can't even jump to a conclusion
Wow, this is multiple pages
These are six pages of yo mama jokes. Oh
Oh, really? See imagine somebody just destiny. Oh really?
Yo mama so fat her photograph weighs 10 pounds
Yo yo mama so fat she was baptized at SeaWorld
How about now oh shit
Oh, okay. Yo mama so fat when she was diagnosed with a flash eating virus the doctors gave her 30 years to live
What's that? Your mama's so fat when she was diagnosed with a flash eating
virus the doctors gave her 30 year old because she has so much flash. Okay.
Your mama's so fat she sells shade in the summer. Hmm. Your mama's so fat her
belly button doesn't have lint it has sweaters. Dude this is awesome. Look how
many bro gambling jokes. A man goes into a butcher shop the butcher points to some
beef hanging from the rack and says I bet you $10 that you can't touch that
meat. No thank replies the man the stakes are too high. That was like a
grandpa joke. I need so much money
betting on the Democrats to win the election that I was able to become a Republican. Genies
and wishes, golf jokes, hairdressers, health and doctors, hotels, history. This is literally
a 500 page book. Light bulb jokes. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
I'm sorry. I just said that word very weird. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight. Okay, yeah, I mispronounced the word bulb. And
we're moving to the next joke. And we're moving to the next joke. Bro, now it's all just like
all about luck lying. Dude, some of these are so long. Oh, this is about marriage and adultery.
One night, Little Johnny's father overheard his son saying his prayers.
God bless mommy, daddy, and granny.
Goodbye, grandpa.
The next day, grandfather dies.
A month or so later, his father again hears Little Johnny at a prayer.
God bless mommy and daddy, and goodbye, granny.
The next day, grandmother dies.
Father begins to worry.
Two weeks later, he hears Little Johnny praying again.
God bless mommy. Goodbye, daddy.
Father nearly has a heart attack and spends all the next day in the fear of his life.
However, he manages to survive and returns home after work.
I had a really bad day today, he says to his wife.
Don't tell me about bad days, replies his wife.
This morning, the mailman dropped dead on the porch.
the male man, the male man's the kid's father. That's good. That's good one. That's good
material. Ooh, sex jokes. Husband to wife. After I shave in the morning, I feel 10 years
younger. Wife said, so why not try shaving before you get a bed?
What, because it's like that doesn't work or something? I'm not a guy.
Tom, Harry and their wives decide to spice up their sex life by swapping partners swinging.
Later that night, Tom rolls over in bed and says, hey, Harry, what do you suppose our wives are up to?
Yeah, that's an instant classic my god wait
Oh that one caught me off guard
Mice mistakes money insurance banks lottery poverty thrift movies mommy mommy
Neighbors
Opticians in eyesight. What's the first joke in the book?
Wow they have a actual glossary of what jokes you're looking for. This seems like
something Michael Scott would own from the office. Accents? The first joke in the
book. Wait actually the first joke in the book says I thought today I'd start by
singing one of the Irving Berlin songs but then I thought why should I he never
things any of mine first actual joke of the book and never gonna move on a bus
stops and two Italian men get on they sit down and engage in animated
conversation the lady sitting behind them here's one of them say Emma come first
then I come two asses they come together I come again two asses they come
together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once or more. Oh, should I say
this in an Italian accent? And I come first. Then I come second. Two asses, they come together.
I don't know how to do it in Italian accent. Then I come once more. You foul mouth swine,
said the lady indignantly. In this country, we don't talk about our sex lives in public.
He says, hey, it's all right.
Reply's the man.
I'ma just tell my friend how to spell a Mississippi.
Because he was just spelling the word Mississippi
with an Italian accent.
Yeah, we'll read from that book once in a while.
Anyways, next.
It's cat ears.
Oh that joke book was worth it.
AHHHHHH!
Oh my god did anybody hear the scraping pl-
The scraping plastic noise?
Holy shit.
Wait, I have something so niche, but maybe relatable.
Have you ever had one of those shitty, what is it called?
It's like a whiteboard eraser.
Oh my God, I'm getting goosebumps thinking about it.
Whiteboard eraser.
Have you ever? Oh my God.
Stop. Have you ever had one of these when you're a kid
And you flip it upside down and you just rub it on the whiteboard.
Oh, it's the worst.
It's the worst sound is like, oh, my God, it's like gut wrenching.
Thinking about that sound like nails on a chalkboard, but worse.
Flipping one of these plastic expo or like styrofoam expo erasers.
Oh, my God, anyways.
So,
There we go, that's a screen grab.
Anyways, I don't remember how much these cost, probably a bit.
I think they're too low.
that's better. They're very high quality, I must say. Very furry as well. Somebody please
draw this. Why would somebody draw this? Give it to Kochard. Should I give these to Kochard?
He would wear them on stream. I actually will give these to Kochard. Chris will wear
those. I'm not going to wear those. I don't really, you know, I'm not, what am I going
with those I'm not wearing I'm not wearing the cat ears often so I find that Mike
BXJ can watch you for the sub use and business they give the sub HD take over
the three lay roof and ruin thing of the sub let me think of the thousand but he
sees you for the subs right with the sub let me give the five Ava and supreme
for the sub Christ they give the five gift ins all right we'll do one big
product now we'll do both big products now is that fair you guys
more but I want to get rid of the items that are large physically I gotta I gotta turn on my other web cam
This is the magic of this is the magic of production chat you're not a witness at first
hand right here, watch, head it, turning, head it, head it, head it, head it, boom, here we are.
Okay, can you guys hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear me? I'll leave down while I explain.
So we have a few things. Number one, I have this medieval like costume.
I would love to go to a Renaissance fair. So this is actually a pretty sick item.
Am I wearing it right?
I think it looks badass.
It's like fit very well, too.
Very hot and sweaty, because it's very thick, but.
Cool.
Secondly, and more importantly,
the item everybody's been waiting for.
Cue music!
Editor!
Cue music!
It's rock fucking solid it looks like at the top of a trash can but it's bad ass
Oh my god, I can slay it!
Knocked somebody in the head? Bro.
Wait, also it came greasy as fuck.
The top of it so oily
I think it's like yeah, I think I don't know if it's so it doesn't rust or what but it's like yeah
It's like a polish, but it gets all over my clothes
But what's awesome?
How much do we think it cost?
It weighs like 30 pounds this was $350 this is the most expensive thing we bought
As much actually how much was the Iron Man helmet for the Amazon review?
I think that might have been 400 but around the same price
Big ass item
Diverting back to regular setup hold up
I
Hang it on the wall it weighs way too much I
Always way too much. I could hang it on a wall in a different room
But there's also nowhere to put it my background's like full. Where would I put that chat?
For where to hang it on the wall. I think it's worth it. You know, I think it's very expensive products
But um, you know if you were like cosplaying as fucking Captain America or some shit, that's like a real shield.
Ooh, under the table? No, because it's gonna have a reflective glare. That's the problem too. It's a shiny metal.
It's just gonna be, it's gonna be even worse than the plaques. I'll think about it, but it's probably not gonna work under the table because it'll just reflect.
But I I think I should go as Captain America this Halloween at least at some point
For one outfit. I gotta go as cap and I gotta get a real suit too now some shit from spirit Halloween
You know how badass that would look if I had a real captain America suit
Like fucking some like winner soldier
Like ask fucking movie
hardcore wait I gotta find
Captain America winter soldier oh my god like this bro this would be actually
straight aura if I had like a skin tight real fucking cosplay fit with the big
ass shield I actually think the shield might be a little too big we got the
biggest size and I told Chad I wanted to get one smaller and I think I would have
been right because I think my shield is actually bigger than his shield. My
shield's huge. Either way, sick product, I'm not upset about it. Was it worth,
would I regularly spend $350 on it? No, but I do think if you were a
cosplayer it's worth. Or just a super Captain America fan. Jumped in rice
thinking of the sub-frost for the three. It was also not expensive because
got the biggest size. What do you do if when you okay so yes you would go amnesia for the
sub six thank you for the three captain and thank you for the subs thank bless your business
over the sub mods can we pin please don't send bets bold and Gerald thank you for the sub
August and by G with the sub now and Mike for the sub right now sorry I'm just a I
could I could speed through subs but I can't really read bit don't know right now
All right, we still have a shitload of more products, but that was the that was the big
items that we had to go over.
Let me go back to the vibe.
Minecraft lo-fi.
The best.
The best.
Okay, we actually will change in the one of the shirts we have two shirts here
We could wear we could wear one for one section one for the other first one
I'm such a fat fucking chud
And second one
Now, which one should we wear first?
We could wear one for like three opens and then another one for three.
Everybody's saying two first.
Well, where are the chud one second?
Sorry nipples are out. Sorry nipples are out
All right
Circumcision survivor
Would never wear this out. I would wear the I'm such a fat fucking chud in public
I don't think I would scroll into like a restaurant wearing a circumcision survivor shirt
It actually depends on the restaurant. I think if it was like a apple bees
You know the the bars real low on entry like an apple bees or chillies or something
Yeah, I'd probably stroll in wearing this shit, but the chudge shirt would be reserved for more fancy occasions like a buffalo Wild Wings
or
Maybe a Texas Roadhouse Texas Rudolphs. All right next product
I
Bro, I forgot about this shits
I'm only doing a little
It's Reaper fucking it's ground Reaper chili and then they gave me free
Arbol chili and free Thai pepper. I
Ordered one. Okay. Number one. I already have to say this product's worth it
Because I bought one vial of this chili and they gave me two packs of dried peppers for free
This is what we bought
It's Reaper it's Reaper seasoning I'm gonna smell it
Yeah
Immediately I feel like sweat building on my forehead
It's like every review. I'm putting my foot down. Okay. I'm saying after this fucking review any future like we go back to Amazon
We do tick tock shop or some shit. I'm not doing something. That's absurdly spicy
I'm putting my foot down and I know we have the food gauntlet after this where I have to buy like gross foods and shit
But like bro, I'm not I'm it's like every sick, but that's not boo chat you guys. It's not fun
I'm not okay. Yo, thank you for the fucking free Thai pepper and free arbol chili. I'm not eating these
I'm not eating these. I'm going to put a little, maybe I'll eat one.
Let's see how the, okay, maybe I'll eat one.
What, what, maybe I'll eat one.
I, okay, you got it, okay.
I'll eat one.
But, God, see, I caved the peer pressure instantly.
I can't, like, I didn't even, I, I caved the peer pressure instantly.
Okay. I just need to see how this goes.
I need to see how this goes.
I'm going to put a little bit on a napkin.
I'm also see I I don't think this is gonna be too bad
Because I've had I've had the one chip challenge twice. I've had some hot fucking ramen and I did the Dave's hot chicken
challenge
Which I believe is Reaper so is this
Yeah, this is Reaper because it goes peppers less than Reaper Reaper is more spicy
This is 100% organic Carolina Reaper powder, so let's just ground up Carolina Reaper.
I'm gonna lick my finger, I'm gonna put it in the sauce, and then I'm gonna touch my tongue with it and lick it off.
Pause. Okay? I will show you the powder as well.
But I'm not fucking doing- I'm not eating this shit like it's a fucking pixie stick.
Okay? If you came into this goddamn stream or review thinking that I'd fucking down the whole vial, you're crazy.
I'm not snorting it.
I would have to go to the hospital if I had to snort this.
That would cause respiratory failure.
I should use a pinky.
Wash your hands.
Wash your hands.
Wash your hands.
Oh, it's just like hot Cheeto dust.
It's every time, bro.
It's every time I get mad confident.
Every time, see, I got to stop coughing that all over the place.
Every time I get so confident, I go, oh, it's not that bad.
And then it just builds.
It just builds every time.
It's not as bad as the one chip because I only that amount of power, powder, oh God,
I got spit.
It makes your mucus.
It makes your mucus like real thick.
I'm not exaggerating you fucking dick.
It makes your mucus you real thick.
And it's it like starts out not that bad.
I'm like a habanero, and I have an arrow all the time.
But then it just builds on the tip of your tongue,
and it feels like somebody's stabbing you.
But it's not as bad as the one chip,
because I only had like, you know,
an eighth or a tenth of like the one chip's powder,
not even, but it's still ass.
It's definitely still ass.
I actually don't think there's any amount of money for me to do the entire vial
Like I put my I put my fucking
My pinky finger on it and it's still burning on the tip of my tongue
Like that's it's hot. It's subsiding a little bit quicker, but um
Yeah, 13 billion oh, yeah a billion dollars, but I'm saying there's no realistic amount of money
$1 billion.
A billion dollars though, yeah.
All right, I'll try one of these chilies.
Can we look up the Scoville level on these?
Thai pepper, arbol chili.
If I had a guess, if I had a guess looking at them,
The Thai pepper looks spicier.
Usually the ones that crinkle more
and get like really fucking indented
are the spicier ones.
50 to 100K for Thai pepper.
I feel like I can handle that though.
Well how much is a habanero because I eat hot all you to habanero
You got to wash your hands I will after we eat this because I'm gonna have to touch it
Oh habanero can be up to a 200k y'all eat one of these I'll eat one of these
I'm eating a tiny one though, but I'm pretty sure the more crinkled they are. Oh
Yeah
The more crinkled they are the spicier they tend to be because there's more like room for the pith
Because most of the spice
It's still spicy. It's like swelling my tongue a little bit
some of the pith or like the spine or whatever is what makes it hot all right I'm eating this
bro you know what I should have done whenever I do these fucking challenges like Brovy bro
I
Know I can handle this not in the sense of like I'm gonna enjoy it, but like I'll I'll get through it
I've done the one chip twice. I
Know what the Carolina Reaper pain is like and every time I do these Broly bros. It's like we'll cover yourself in mayo
Dance to crazy frog
Motherfucker, let's bet a one chip
Let's bet a you have to eat five Javanero peppers in a row
Because what the fuck imagine if Jinxie lost and instead of doing the banana challenge banana sprite
He had to eat like a ghost pepper that would be so much funnier
It would be way worse for the person and the stakes would be so high I'm sweating
All right, fuck it
One bite everybody knows the rules
I took it right back out.
Took it right back out.
Took it right back out.
So as I was going to bite down, it was really hard and I caved.
I have to eat it.
I have to eat it.
I have to eat it.
Okay.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Oh, it's like in my teeth. I see like I, I, I, it's
It's not that bad right now, but I don't like guessing
because it'll just hit you randomly.
I'm not gonna, I don't have milk.
I don't own milk.
But I don't like going, oh, that wasn't that bad
because then sometimes it'll just sneak up on you.
It's hot, it's like a habanero.
It's like a habanero, habanero hot.
Like I think people don't understand.
Like a lot of people in my chat,
that like it's hot as fuck.
Like I'm trying to talk through it.
A lot of people in my chat will be like, oh, you're just
a bitch, you can't do the fucking Carolina Reaper.
But like, what's the hottest thing you guys have eaten?
Some of you have probably had a one chip.
Some of you have probably had a ghost pepper Carolina
Reaper, but for the most part,
the spiciest thing an average person has had
is like a spicy hot sauce at like a Buffalo Wild Wings.
That is literally, it's getting hotter.
That is literally nothing in comparison
to like a Carolina Reaper.
Like you having a one blazing boneless wing
at Buffalo Wild Wings, get the fuck out of here.
And it builds.
That's the thing that's scary about it.
It smells like death and it builds.
This is just like a hot ass habanero pepper.
That's what it really tastes like.
Like all my eggs in the morning,
I put a habanero Tabasco.
It tastes good.
Oh my God, I'm actually sweating.
And I know people are saying I'm faking it.
Literally look at my forehead.
But it's hot it's hot like I'm not exaggerating that it's hot. I can't force myself to sweat
Yeah, I'm from this shit out
From the shit out. I'm not eating those. I gotta go wash my hands real quick. I
Gonna wash my hands real quick. Oh
Oh, okay.
Okay.
I
Okay
I'll waste oh
Oh, I'll waste yeah
Let me go donate the Carolina Reaper powder to a soup kitchen you stupid fuck
They're really gonna use that in their dishes
Oh
Oh, oh, hey homeless guy instead of giving you food or something. Here's Thai chili peppers. Have fun eating that
Fucking four calories you're gonna burn more by sweating
Next. This is actually a really cool product. I'm not going to be able to wear them, but
it is a very cool product. And I think they're a fan. We bought press on one piece nails.
You know how I knew they knew me?
You know how I know they're a fan?
Hold up my dumb ass can't get this
The little pokey things saddened through
They like crocheted look at this
Apostle
Is this crochet or knitting I don't know but look at that
That's probably so hard to do they give me a letter to I'm still sweating. Sorry
I'm gonna read it on stream
Sorry, it's so hot they give me frogs stickers to fire
Hi Joe. Thank you so much for purchasing from me. It means a lot. My boyfriend Anthony showed me your videos and I've enjoyed them since.
I also wanted to include a little possum puppet with your order. My friend, my friend Isshri, Isshri, I think I'm saying it right, I S H R E. Holy fuck.
fuck. Ishery made it. However, once we found out you bought a nail set, we wanted you to have it.
Hope he's in good hands. Thank you again. I hope the nails fit well. If you can leave a review,
it helps a lot. Always enjoy the content. W fucking Etsy owner, Etsy business owner,
Editor throw up their store at if you want good press on nails, you know where to find them
Let's crack them open. I don't have nail glue. So that's why I will I'll put I'll show them
But I have nail glue
Oh my god, oh
My god
I think I'm going to keep I'm going to put them back in this and I'm going to give them
to Brooke and see if they fit her but they're for my fingers.
Like they're based off of my fingers.
Be very careful here chat.
Be very careful.
I think this one's Luffy.
Look at that.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.
Well, I can't, I need nail glue, but it fits perfectly.
Yeah, it's all straw hat Luffy.
This is sick.
Should I try to see if they fit Brooke?
I'll do that later and if they do fit Brooke because I don't know if Brooks
Fingernails are like mine. Sorry. I'm still dealing with heat
If they fit Brooks nails, I'll add a clip on the YouTube video for putting them on
But these are fire I'm going to keep these and
Where should I put the little possum guy? I
Feel like I need to keep this to wrap this around like this
That's fucking sick as well W Etsy business
All right
Hang it on the mic
How would I do that
I
Is there a world where I could get these off this
Because I don't know how crochet or knitting works
And I don't know if I would break it if I took these off if there's a way that I can pin it
I would I'm gonna put it here for right now
All right, oh
You can't take it off. Okay
product. Walk in chat. Walk in chat. We have one, two. We have like 10 more things,
nine more things. This one's actually fucking awesome. Also that product's
worth it. W product. I was already shouting it out so I assume that was
known. It's really weird. It's a realistic eye in like a squishy like Papa meat-esque brain.
and it comes with eye, eye glup, eye lubricant, should I put eye lube on him?
I think that, it kind of has eye lube on him right now.
I think it's if you can't move him around, you need to put eye lube.
I think this thing was like $60.
Isn't it kind of sick though?
Should I have it look at chat in the background?
Dude, we have way too many things on this fucking corner.
I'm making an executive decision that alien chill beer guy is is getting shelved from the
background because he needs to sit on a ledge.
He's gone.
And he's getting replaced by brain by brain eye
Oh and uh and Eugene Blumkin. Oh god I think I just like protruded his stomach
Two new additions to the background of stream Eugene Blumkin fuck you put him on the love lamp
That's unsafe chat. He's a plastic product then that thing gets hot and Eugene Blumkin, you know what?
Oh God, he's out of frame
He's out of frame put him on the fridge I'll put him on the fridge, but you guys won't be able to see him
That'll be the jump scare of a lifetime if he ever falls.
Oh, in the fridge!
He doesn't sit up.
His body design is not made for anything but sitting on like a ledge.
Wait.
Bang.
Pulls it on the sweatshirt.
There we go.
The rest sits perfectly.
Oh, we didn't name him.
We didn't name him. What do we name our little I don't need the eye loo?
What do we name him? Can I pop his eye out of his head?
Sorry, I had to smell it.
I can flip around. It's a very realistic eyeball as well. Look at that. It's fucking creepy.
I
Vore I for the eye I kind of like that and I'll look up at shot I for the eye
Bang
Next I think this is our last little like fidget thing
Bean that product's worth it by the way, I don't care if it's 50 bucks. It's sick
mean
mean
Wait they also gave me a free product I didn't order this
They sent me candy I don't know if I trust eating that
They sent me candy a Chucky sticker, which is actually sick.
Oh, it's not a sticker.
Is it the sticker?
I can't tell.
It's got sticker t- Oh!
Wait, I bought bean and they also gave me-
Woo!
They also gave me worm. Now we have bean and worm. Oh. Bean looks like he got hit by a
car. He's on his last life. Does he breathe out of the hole? Or pee out of it? Or out of
it? I kind of want to eat one of these candies. Is that unsafe to eat candy from a miscellaneous
at sea cellar. They sent me Malum Stripes Candy and Chomp. And they also gave me a scream sticker as well.
This is kind of awesome. Scream Chucky Bean.
bro they burnt the fucking Joe into the worm what what and now we have like a
whole trio of like weird creatures now we have a whole trio of like weird
creatures that look at chat. Bean doesn't really stand up on his own.
Oh, that'll be sad, but Bean will be in a way there by himself. Bean and worm. I
love that. I have no idea how much they were. I think it was probably like 20 or
30 bucks, but that's still fucking awesome. And I only ordered bean, and
then I also got worm. I mean, it's like a two-for-one. Do we try one of
these miscellaneous candies. This guy sent me. Is that unsafe? Are these, they have no
nutrition facts. He just sent me, he just sent me Malam candy and chomp. I think I've
actually had Cadbury chomp. I'll try Malam stripes. Is this like Spanish candy? They're
They're so good.
But they're like pure white.
I was expecting it to be like neon green.
It's UK.
I can have a little bit of gelatin, Jack.
Thank you for being concerned, though.
I'm not too allergic to a little gelatin.
This is fire.
I just start shripping like an hour from now.
I'm like, could we've done the Etsy reviewer
watching the Minecraft video?
I'm like, wait, wait, oh, it's just so good.
And they're so gummy.
That's fucking awesome.
I'm gonna save those.
I'm gonna save the stickers too.
All right, well,
give me about a minute to finish chewing this.
Did anybody win that Mr. Beast of that?
Real quick?
Oh, no way.
Yeah, totally, you hit the heart.
Yeah, you totally hit the heart.
Not the corner of the podium.
I told you this was the game.
You're going.
You're doing it first.
I don't know.
I'm a death mark, really.
I could throw?
Hey, bring out a bunch of the same items that they could throw.
Jimmy, you have to throw it.
Yeah, go for it.
All right, they chose the can.
Oh!
Oh, my God.
That might be the 25th time you missed.
Yo, I'm so happy I didn't tap into that.
It's been two hours of them just slingshotting fucking items at the heart and you guys wanted me to go live at 1130 in the morning so I could watch them shoot hearts for two hours.
They're not even halfway done.
Also four nights dancing on a ruby is probably didn't help.
Did they give up on the slang shot?
No way!
No way!
I'm not going to be able to
do it.
Do you think the other people
brought so many people watch
partying it at like noon do you
think they're still watch
partying it.
About to finish.
You got a few seconds to throw
let's keep it.
Let's let's finish this game
today.
Yeah all.
No way.
One has been watching this for
two hours.
I'm going to be going for a while.
You could be you could lose.
You're going to get it out.
Whoa.
How does our guy react?
Oh, oh, we're back.
You have to do something if you want to stand.
What are you doing?
You're not going to stop.
Try to cooperate with them.
Why are we not wind up shouting the fucking tennis balls?
Why are we like, why are we like?
I
Know you should be like baseball pitching them just fucking just straight thrown beams
You gotta throw hard. It's harder. Why are they like very is it like sugar glass or something?
I feel like if you hit it with that it wouldn't break. I don't know whatever next product
That one's very it's
Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, this is why I brought the grinder down earlier. So, this is a hot
dog bowl for tobacco use only. For tobacco use only. Yeah, it's a hot dog bowl. I don't
know if I should clean it. Should I like rinse it off real quick before I smoke out of
this probably yeah let me go wash it real quick
w math bug
Hold on, I'm going to grab this fucking leg up real quick.
Oh my god, wait.
We gotta put on the chud shirt, you're right.
I'm gonna put on the chud shirt.
I think I already have pit stains.
I don't know, I don't, but you can see my nipples.
Like I'm on the red carpet, being a little scandalous.
Being a little scandalous, eh?
Turn it down a little bit.
For free.
Oh my god.
Okay, so that's definitely an armed sleeve.
Okay, so that's definitely an arm sleeve.
Definitely an arm sleeve there, wrong, wrong hole.
Alright, so editor, we're going to have to blur this whole bit here but chat just know
that we're going to be using the, or for the YouTube viewers we're going to be using
the hot dog pipe right now. We'll let you know how it goes. Tobacco. It's not tobacco.
It's said for tobacco use only though. Wait, why does that look like hair? It's not. Okay,
So immediate problem with the hot dog, immediate problem with the hot dog bowl that I'm noticing.
It's a very tiny bowl, problem number one.
Number two, the hot dog bun slots are picking up a lot of the fall away from the rest.
the rest. So you gotta hit it with a firm pat. That's an issue. I'm also gonna go out
on a limb and say this is going to scorch my fucking throat. This is going to be the
worst fucking experience hitting this hot dog bowl. I think we're gonna have a similar
experience when we do the 420 review because during the 420 review I bought multiple
mystery boxes and it comes with a lot of different glassware and I think it's gonna be like very
obscure glassware that's like fucking shitty. I feel like I should get a stick lighter.
This feels wrong.
This feels wrong.
It's very inefficient.
I don't know which way, I don't know which is, I think, I'm assuming the skinny end of the pocket hot dogs for my mouth and the thick ends for my finger.
Pause.
But, Jesus!
All right, so the takeaway right now is, does it work?
Yes.
Is it about as useful as a cord out apple?
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is about just hot boxing.
You know how hard it would be to hot box this room?
We'll do it on 420, probably not.
We'd get my PC fan,
put weed in there, well I'm gonna hit it one more time.
We gotta do three times of charm chat.
Gotta give it an honest review, okay?
I'm not.
Surprisingly.
Surprisingly clean.
Like I normally I like a normal bowl is pretty rough and I would say yeah this is more rough than like a joint.
It's not bad. It's definitely not bad
Annoying to hit because the bun blocks me from getting closer to the bowl
So if I'm using a regular like a stick lighter it'd be no problem
But this lighter I'm like trying to avoid burning my fucking thumb
The hot dog bowl
6 out of 10 6 out of 10 do I think it's worth it no this is a funny product but not something
that I would actually want to use. There's like expensive bowls. I would say this is more of a funny
art piece than, okay, actually it is worth it. Here's why, because if you buy it for the purpose of
it being a glass art piece, that's like, funny hotdog worth it. And then on top of that, you
could smoke weed out of it. Tobacco use only. But if you're buying it as a bowl, it's shitty,
Like, this is a bad bull because it's like, you know, you just want to have something that's designed to make it easier to smoke the weed.
Or tobacco.
Anyways, 6.5. I'll get it.
6.5. I know I didn't rate any of the other products, but I feel like you need a rating on this.
The bull is probably 6.5. I would say if this was like, I don't really remember the price.
Editor probably has that up on the screen.
If this was under $20, I would say, even if it is $20, I would say it's worth it.
If it's anything over that amount, probably not.
We're going to hit it one more time, just to confirm.
Just to confirm.
We'll let that sit for a minute before I dump it.
All right, now we're juiced up for the rest of the fucking review.
Let's fucking go.
Next product.
Next product is, you guessed it, a card from Bart.
was $5. $5. He is a handwritten message and an individually taken photograph from Bart
himself of a butterfly. Great photography, Bart. Let's read his card. Dear Joseph, I
hope this card finds you well. In fact, I make them myself using my own photos. The
The species on this photo is one I photographed myself in Uganda.
The species is Cieandra.
Cieandra opus, brilliant nymph is what it means.
I'm doing well in the Netherlands.
Spring is about to begin.
That means the new season of breeding moths
is right around the corner.
I hope to do a good video about the buff tip moth.
Sifalerd, buff bufalis, at least.
Thank you for your interest in my Etsy shop.
And it says my, I think it says my shop helps to sustain my work.
Bart Coppens signed.
This is like mad wholesome, right?
Like I feel like this is, this feels like the same
as like a Patreon.
I just sent him like, I sent him like six bucks in shipping
And he fucking printed out a photograph of a butterfly
he sent himself or took himself on like,
dude, what a good photo.
And he sends me a handwritten fucking letter detailing
how his adventures of life are going.
And I don't even know this guy, but Bart Coppens.
I wish the best to you, buddy.
Goat.
Goat.
Should I keep it?
Should I keep the Bart Coppens letter?
I kind of want to
And he wrote in all he wrote very weirdly
Like every start of every sentence is not capitalized, but then he capitalized he capitalizes every
Oh my god
He capitalizes every letter of every first of every word kind of like a YouTube thumbnail other than is and of
And I
look at that
put it in the back i can't keep putting shit in the back chat there's too much
stuff in the back i have a lot of drawers on my desk
my fucking shitty idea chat i built my gaming desk side note
and i asked brady about this the other day because i always have to like
fix some of us the little pegs on the on the
drawers that hold it up i have like a 500 pound
Fucking wooden slab as my desk
That's held up by two
Metal pegs that I screwed into the back and two fucking
$60 IKEA drawers and they make creaking noises when I like punched the desk and I'm like dude is not gonna break
like
Is that gonna break man?
Show us I've shown the desk rust from the sub rack and think of this up Charlie
this up. More than thank you to three no author to bear crime Dennis, the willow living for the
sub crazy for the thousand buddies. It's a grown up with split parents. I'm not trying to sound
like I want attention my grandma's breast cancer. Can you say chat fuck breast cancer? Well, I'm
sorry that your grandma's breast cancer F cancer in the chat but I don't know man. I mean
grown up with split parents is like, I can't really give you tips because it's all I've known.
I never grew up with parents that were together right like since I was conscious my parents have always been separate
So I don't even know what tips I would give because I don't know what life is like with parents that are together
So I can't really give you a tip. You know what I mean? Like this is the normal for me
Clover of the three you get a new tattoo. Well, no, I
I mean, how what do you mean by new like I got a tattoo like three not maybe not three maybe like four months ago
this one
Wait now this one
I'm an idiot. This one is the one that I got recently
Says we're just passing by
What my grandfather would say before he died
He I would ask him about life what he thought about it. He was a very vague man
He would say well we're just passing by
That's that's why I was like cuz I would ask him what he thought about like, you know
Philosophically life or death and then it's just a dude kind of walking, but he's fading into existence. I
Know it's a pretty cool tattoo anyways
Next oh
God wait
Two products in one this is gonna be its own thing, but we do have one more taxidermied animal
This one is only the head of a mouse.
This one is very disturbing.
The other one, okay.
This one, cute fancy risqué, right?
Eugene Blumkin.
This one, creepy, creepy.
It's a fucking mouse holding a bottle of corona and guess what I
Thought it was a magnet
It's not a magnet
Why would they not put a magnet on it?
Wait, no that was an option, but they were sold out of magnets. I remember. Oh
God the ears move
Like I'm touching a dead animal right now
Oh, I don't know I don't really like this one and they made it smile I
Don't know I feel like dude the other the other like Eugene Blumkin's bad ass this one's kind of creepy
right, I
mean it's still like
kind of cool where's the second half of his body where's the rest of them did we
just cut them in half and then start the and then we put them on a stand was he
mangled to death like see I start thinking about how this mouse died this is
it I mean it's just the skin of the mouse right that's really all it is
because the hair is fake they have to put that in or not the hair the fucking
whiskers and then the eyeballs are fake they killed him for your order I don't
think they killed him for my order you think they killed him for my order I
don't think they did that I think they probably just have a slew of dead
rats at the ready. Rats die very quickly and reproduce like rabbits. So I'm
assuming they just have like a hundred rat felts and then they get an order and
And they make it.
He really is cheesin' though.
UGH! Stop! Oh, I fucking hate it.
Oh my god. Oh my god.
Wait, sorry, I was looking at his mouth and I was like, ugh. Ugh.
Ugh. Alright. Next.
This is one of those sick ass, what are they called, chat?
What is this called? Hold up turn the music off
It's like a drum
Is it a water drum do I need water in it
No, we do not
No, we do not tell me. Oh my god. There's a music book. I
Don't know how to read music. I thought it was just gonna tell me one through one through seven
it's telling me notes. It's a raindrom. Yeah, but I can play it. Ready?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Dude, that sounds like the Minecraft.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait, how do I do it?
How do I do it?
How do I do it?
How do I do it?
Now that actually sounds like it, right?
I feel like I was hitting that.
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na.
It sounds just like Minecraft Finest.
Bro, bro, stop.
Literally, I'm showing you this intro.
Everybody shut the fuck up.
I used to watch these guys when I was a kid.
It sounds exact- Oh my god, it sounds like Ravi falls too.
No, that's actually awesome.
Is this a rate?
Like, are you supposed to put this outside normally?
Wait, I got it.
it in water? It's meant to be played not on water. Is there any way that I can play like
like an easy song?
I would love to be able to play a song.
You're supposed to drip water onto it.
OK, hold on.
I know what we need to do.
Did you hear it, stop saying ew, you guys asked for this.
What do we do, what do you mean ew?
What do you mean ew?
It's my fucking raindrum ass, if I want to spit on it, I'm going to spit on it.
Oh
We asked you to pour water on it. Yeah, I know and
What do you want me to go grab a bowl and fucking submerge this in water and then get like a fucking a
Surringe in dribble water on top of it brother. I mean that's gonna take like ten minutes. Let me talk
I lost it.
MC finest intro.
Fuck hold up. I lost it. What was it? It was two something. It
was two four.
I
Was to be played on water probably dead ass should I actually go grab a fucking bowl right now
If I go grab a bowl and I pour water on this fucking thing and it does nothing. I'm going to be pissed
I'm not doing that
I'm not doing that I'm not doing that I'm not doing that bro because you so you heard it already
It's gonna be the same shit. It's just gonna be a more dull sound. It's gonna be more dull sound
And I can't read this music
So it's cooked
Oh my god wait no it says it no it says it no it says it it has the numbers
We're playing a song. We're playing a song. We're playing a song. We're playing a song. We're playing a song. We're playing a song. We know that. Well, I didn't even say anything. Okay, we're going to play on, on top of old smoky.
What's the beat?
Okay, what's one with a dot over it?
over it. Wait, are we ready? Wait, it's 1135. 1135. Okay. That just sounds like a fucking
That's just, that sounds like the bell sound when you have to switch periods, bro. What?
This song sucks.
I'm playing it, I'm playing it.
This song fucking sucks.
I'm playing it right.
You have to go faster?
Oh, like, like.
Like, bro, have you ever been to like somewhere in the Caribbean
and they're playing one of those hollowed out, like,
it's like this, but if you concaved it in.
Rage one, OK.
And you play it like, and they go,
dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
Like a steel pan, yeah, that's just awesome.
I don't think I have to play it like that though.
Oh wait, okay, ready?
London Bridge, London Bridge, London Bridge.
Wait, oh no, it's London, hold up, fuck.
London Bridge, up, bars is will fall.
I'm down, wait, oh no, you have to read it across.
Sorry, I was, sorry, um, I was reading, I was reading like London down, but it's just London bridge across.
Hey, you're supposed to say London Bridge is falling down, build it up from with iron bars, iron bars will bend and break falling down, falling down iron bars, iron bars.
Well, that's pretty grim.
I don't think I've ever learned that.
Oh, you can do Joe right me.
I'm done with this. I'm done with this. I'm done with this. I'm never gonna play one of these songs in
In a good fucking way. I don't know why the hell I'm trying to learn one of them
Take it fucking forever next
Now we have a short survival kit
so
I've seen these on tiktok shop and
And I always thought they were stupid as fuck, but they ended up having one on Etsy
The kit includes one handy-dandy disposable undies one count fresh and unused
Booty wipes to clean your ass so fresh and clean
brown paper bag used for disposing your nasty ass shit covered underwear and
Short survival keychain probably to show it off
Let's get in here
These are the four flushable wipes
They can I can tell they're a little bit wet
They give me their business and socials. Let's throw that in the trash. I
survived a shard attack key chain and
Some other bullshit this product sucks
Also, oh it comes with shitty die shitty shitty shitty diapers these diapers suck these diapers blow
ass, fucking terrible. This is disgusting. This product's ass. Never buy it. The reason
I'm doing that is because there's going to be some cock-ass loser that's going to clip
this and try and splice it in a way that I'm promoting these diapers so they can receive
commission on TikTok using my fucking likeness. So your bitch ass could go shove your fist
up your ass because this product sucks. They do that all the time. If I, I'll say,
I'll review something that I got and then they'll take it and be like, oh, promo
buy this, Joe Bart loves it. And then they get fucking money because they're trying to fucking get
people to buy the product and get 20% commission. The product sucks ass. Why would I ever need a
fucking shark survival kit? It's terrible. It's terrible. What are you, what are you talking
about? I understand it's a gag gift, but it's like, oh, I shit my pants in public. You know
what I'm doing? I'm walking to the bathroom. I'm taking my shitty poopy underwear off,
throwing them in the fucking corner of the bathroom or in the trash can,
Wiping my ass and then I'm free-balling it until I get home. I'm not gonna put on a diaper
I'm not gonna put on a diaper and fucking go. Oh, luckily I have my ready wipes with me
No, I'm just gonna fucking wipe my ass with the one ply toilet paper that I have in the airport bathroom
Sorry, I'm emptying my hotdog bowl
Okay, this happened to him before it did not it did not I'm just saying that's what I would
do I thought it through when I go anywhere the first thing on my mind is is there somewhere
I could pee because I have the bladder of a
chipmunk and
It's not even of course chat. It's a genuine problem if I'm going out drinking and we go to a bar that seats
You know 500 people
But they have one bathroom with two urinals
Mmm. I'm not liking that. You know because I'm gonna slam three four beer
Now I have 48 ounces of liquid in my bladder that I got to go fucking piss out and
I got a pee every 15 minutes, you know, so it's like that's a problem like I I remember when I was a kid
I would make me anxious. That's like something that I would get anxiety over
Having the fucking pee so bad that I'm like I don't want to go somewhere where there's not a bathroom
Hamptons, thank you for the 10 gifted subs thank you for the 10 gift kids again
Bruno of the sub pocket for the sub hamster for the 10 gift is appreciate the fucking subs brother
Andrews in and pay for the sub on the new travel the sub kept the sub crazy for the sub couldn't think of the three
Way me for the three Tim are Charlie Dennis Thorne Noel and Tamara thinking of the sub hamster thinking of the gift is again. All right, I
Think this is it
I think this is our last product and we saved the best for last and I'm happy we're reviewing this product last chat
You don't know what it is, but I do it's that pseudoscience bullshit
It's copper rods that electrocute you and very small microwaves secure cancer
You want me to read through this this fucking crack shit
It's not thank you for the 25 fucking gift it's thank you if you're gonna stop thank you for the 25 gift
It's Andrew and the a Bonnie and Boone taking this up chat walk in I
Read this because I needed to know how to use this for stream
But as I was reading this I went wow
This is for crazy people
This is this also cost editor put the money over there money should be right here on the products every product for how much
I spent for the first part
This and you know, maybe factor in my five five dollars each product for shipping. Anyways, so just put product price plus shipping. Anyways
Anyways, this costs like a hundred and fifty dollars and it is no joke a
D battery in
Some big-ass fucking box that you hook up a red and black wire and it has two copper rods
This was made by some doctor, apparently.
The zapper cannot be used by the following people.
People with implanted pacemakers
and other electronic devices,
pregnant and breastfeeding women, children under six.
The zapper has been tested on children over six, it says.
So that's nice to know.
They hooked a 70-year-old up to this.
Patients suffering from epilepsy receiving treatment,
having undergone an organ transplant,
undergoing radiation, having prosthetics
metal parts in your body, significant heart problems, blah, blah, blah. What are the possible
side effects of using the zapper therapy? It's very unlikely, but skinny irritation may occur as
a reaction to the electrodes or the current itself. In case of redness burning, blistering,
blah, blah, blah, change it, consult a doctor, you know, yap, yap, yap, prone to skinny irritation,
some something about a hundred Hertz. Okay, here we go. Regarding frequency,
The zapper is equipped with five different selectable frequencies ranging from 33 Hertz
to 250 kilohertz. How much is that? Is that dangerous?
The low frequencies are able to penetrate more than the high frequencies.
If we base ourselves on right frequencies, we have different frequencies can be useful
for different things. If you would like to cure your asthma, get energy, have some more
vigor or wakefulness. You should use 33 kilohertz on this stupid fucking pseudoscience machine.
If you want to fix your eyesight headache sinusitis or allergies, 344 kilohertz or 344 hertz.
Sorry, and I'm not lying when I say this. If you would like to cure your herpes, abdominal pain,
alopecia, anemia, hallucinations, angina, aneurysms, or Parkinson's, this will cure you with five
kilohertz. And if you have the universal frequency Holde-Clarke-Baud spectrum parasites, so you want
to get a parasite out of your body, 30 kilohertz, if you have the flu, muscle pain, arthritis,
This will cure you with 250 kilohertz.
So yeah, this is crazy, crazy, cuckoo, crazy, cure your herpes, that's for life.
Maybe your herpes break out.
What if it's genital?
Do you put the rods elsewhere?
Are they still in the hands?
You know, I kind of need to know more.
It says, wrap it in a moist paper towel to ensure good contact.
OK, so I have to dip a paper towel in water and put it on this.
Place the electrodes on your skin for seven minutes.
When they're up, pause for 20 minutes
and then repeat two more times.
After you've stomped the parasites out,
After that you've stopped to the parasites out according to dr. Holder Clark
So if I have a fucking parasite in my body I
Just do this for seven minutes stop for 20 and then do it another seven stop for 20 do another seven
And then that will get the parasite out of my body
If you're trying to treat
Your intestines you want to put it on your hands your immune system including allergies
You put them on your feet if you have a pancreas or kidney or gallbladder problem and you attach them to your weight
What about herpes? What do you do? What do you do with herpes?
Like that see that's what I understand like why are they writing this down. This is crazy news. This is like actually insanity
It'll cheer your alpha gal. You think if I sat myself enough. I
I don't think this is even how much is 250 kilohertz. That's probably the the largest right like would I feel that?
Because this is like such low frequency that it's probably not really gonna do much. I have to go wet a paper towel
real quick
Do that one will do different modes just to see if I can feel it
But it's basically just a battery hooked up to two copper rods
Okay, so what are we hearing for a starthritis?
I don't remember.
wrap these. I don't know why I squeegee them like that. Does it cure
haemorrhoids? Maybe. I think I would have to probably contact Dr. Holda
Clark. She might know a little bit more. Cure herpes? Well I don't have herpes.
But I feel like we should just go one at a time, you know? Oh, she's dead.
Well, I guess the, what did she die of?
Holda Clark died in September 3rd of 2009 from complications of multiple myeloma,
A form of cancer that affects your blood and bones despite claiming that all cancers were caused by parasites and curable via her zapper device
Oh, so when she means parasite, she doesn't mean stomach parasite. She says this thing cures cancer. Okay
Yeah, no go to a doctor
Go to a doctor. Don't buy a hundred and thirty dollar fucking hold the zapper on
Etsy or go to some fucking crazy person
that things that are gonna fucking fix these problems.
Oh, that means it's on.
I don't feel anything.
Should I up it?
We're curing arthritis now.
Ooh, I feel a little tingle.
I feel a little tingle in my hands.
It's more of like a vibration, honestly.
we'll go one more we are now at five hertz i'm curing herpes
if i had it max it out we have to go one at a time what if it starts hurting
i don't feel anything yet i'd still a little tingly
we're not 30 kilohertz
i feel it
not really I'm lying I don't really feel very much I do feel tingling but it's
only on like the very pieces of my skin that are touching it
one more it's not voltage what is it because it said it could burn your
skin so it has to be some sort of voltage it's maxed out and it's on it's hurts
what is killer hurts what is 250 kilohertz equivalent to like getting
static electricity putting a fucking knife in a toaster like I don't know
how much that is 250,000 Hertz but what is that a nano vol oh so it's literally
not. Ooh. Wait. Sorry, that like me. No, actually, I can't tell if it's like, I'm fucking convincing
myself of this, or like it's starting to made my hands like close a little bit. It's frequency.
I feel like I feel something though. It's definitely zapping me. Like my hands feel
more closed when I'm touching it. Turn it off. Dude, Dr. Holder Clark is literally
curing me of everything. I feel it. I definitely feel it. It doesn't feel great.
Broght the placebo zapper yet for $135. It's curing me of all illnesses.
But I have to do this for seven minutes stop and then different. It does hurt.
No, it's definitely doing something. It's definitely I kind of want to just touch it.
It doesn't really do much when you just touch it.
Okay.
This product is the biggest shitter out of all of them.
I don't know why, I have a personal gripe with people that believe in this shit, but
more so the people that shill it on those people to make money.
And there's certain pseudosciences that are like, you know, maybe somewhat more
research and kind of tiptoeing the line like chiropractic or something where it's like, you know, they are doing something to your body. But like this shit, I don't even know if I would call it a pseudoscience. This is like a scam. Like there's nothing that points towards this curing genital herpes, cancers, you know, this is the shit that people fall for, and then die young because they refuse to go to a doctor. And sure, if they had gone to a doctor, there's still chance that they die.
But it's like they could have you know had a 40% higher chance of living if they had fucking gone to a doctor
Or people do half doctor shit and then it'll come back to the wheel. I'm gonna do pseudosciences. So I'm gonna do aroma therapy
And then they fucking die, you know, so it's like I'm not sure how popular of a product this is somebody suggested it
But this is so stupid. This is so fucking stupid
This is like the shitter of all of them. I would never recommend somebody to have this product or use this product
Should I throw it out? I mean, this was a hundred and thirty dollars. I feel like at this point. I have to keep it
The shark kit or this which is worse
Well, the shark kits just stupid and it's like trying to be a funny gag gift like bacon toothpaste, but it's like
like it's stupid. This is like this. That doesn't harm anybody. This type of shit like
actually gets people killed. Not the product itself, but the fact that people turn to the
product thinking it's actually going to fucking do something. Aromatherapy somewhat works.
Yeah, but not in the sense of like curing cancer. Aromatherapy is yes, study to
like help with anxiety and other certain things, but like not to the effect of
Like, hey, you have like prostate cancer.
Why are you using a fucking Holtoclark machine?
You know?
All right.
Well, oh my God, well, we're done.
Well, that was a fucking fun review.
I don't know, I'm not upset with the Etsy review.
It's more so like, it took a while
for everything to come in
and it is individual sellers.
And then also it's just like,
some of the products are really cool
and then some are just so fucking stupid.
But I mean, that's like the mixture of Etsy itself,
But I will say like out of everything that we got the only dumb shit. I mean outside of this is like
Like this is like AI like put so like this is just like random shit printed on a shirt, you know
Everything out. It's a cool shirt. What do you mean? Okay, fine. It's cool shirt, but it's like outside of this stuff
It really was it was better like I mean the Amazon product review and team who had some like cooler shit
But a lot of it was also like slop
The only real problem with this one like outside of you know things being expensive and expensive a ship was like
The fucking the ray gun breaking
But I mean that was that that happens with every review with at least one product. So I had fun
I thought it was fun. I don't know what we're gonna do next. What do you guys want to do like?
like either TikTok shop or do another Amazon one
but like something category wise,
I feel like that'd be really cool.
Like an Amazon suggestion tab thing,
but like we do like five products
in like five different categories and then rank them
where it's like, this is the best of these products.
You know, if it's like five food products,
five blank, five stuff.
But that would be if we did like Amazon again,
if we did TikTok shop, I could just do TikTok shop.
But if I did TikTok shop,
I wouldn't want people to just be recommending
just only chameleon pickle chameleon pickle and like other fucking dumb shit freeze-dried skittles
the fucking grandpa's weeder shit like that aliexpress would be horrible bro aliexpress would
be unbearable to do i don't think i would do that all right well chat we're about to watch
the minecraft arg video destroying a world that doesn't exist this shit uh we watched part
One was like 45 minutes. This is probably gonna be the longest react we've ever done
But we're gonna watch it
Be a meter think of the sub gold Krish
Deluxe and star thank you for the subs. I'll see you in Felix. Thank you for the three
Get the sub threatens in with the sub kill and Donovan for the sub. It's not rejects
They give it 25 gift it's Andrew for the sub hands are thinking of the 10 gifts again, but yeah chat
I'm gonna go put this shit away. We're gonna do this. Uh, why five's video tomorrow? I'm gonna be live at like 3 30
Maybe like three. I'm gonna be doing CS
cage openings as well as
CS with killdozer random games after that
And then probably a shorter stream because I'm gonna be doing minecraft
Or specific minecraft video that I'll tell you guys after it's recorded or posted
But I'm not training up recording that Tuesday. I'm not live Wednesday is gonna be horror games
as well as
Content King Thursday, not live Friday's gonna be a chess tournament. I got a practice for that
In tier lists Saturday early CS with JoJo random shit random reacts reacts next Sunday and then 98 charity stream on Monday the 13th
I'll be doing a big donut for them. It'll be a fun charity stream. We're gonna be doing a whole challenge for them
And then the 20th we have a weed mystery box review and the 24th yo guess our twitch rivals
All right. Yo, give me like two minutes to put this shit away. I'm gonna play music
Why weren't you at the Mr. Beast video? I wasn't invited. Charity stream versus Ron, I got
to plan that with him. The 9881 I already had planned. I'm going to plan one with him
It'd be a serious.
It would be fun.
All right.
Oh
My God
and
Yeah, okay
All right, give me like another 30 seconds
Oh
Why you see mad I'm not it's Sunday this is definitely not right that's better there
we go. Does this look normal? I feel like I look so close to the camera. I don't know, maybe I'm
tweaking. Anyways, chat. We're about to rip a fucking, basically a watch party. I mean, it's
going to be a react, but it's basically a watch party of the new Wi-Fi's or Wi-Fi's video. I
I don't know how to say it, but if you don't remember,
part one, I made a video react to,
part one was much shorter, Minecraft, hold on.
Minecraft horror, jail bars.
Yeah, it was three months ago.
We watched Searching for a World That Doesn't Exist.
And it was this fucking 41 minute video by leafy shadow leafy's Wi-Fi's
I think it's called I would say caught Wi-Fi's but I may be wrong, but
YouTube series very popular. I mean, it's only two episodes, but first episode 24 million views
This one already is 11 million and it was posted six days ago
It's two hours long though
But we're gonna tap into it. Normally. I would never watch
watch an episode this long, but since we are in the series, we're going to continue it.
If you don't know what it's about, you might be slightly confused, but it's basically Minecraft
ARG horror.
In the first one, the story is that this guy basically inherits a Minecraft world
from somebody else, and there's like really weird entities that are like hunting him.
So, right, that's how I'm explaining it, right?
How do you summarize the first one?
I don't know how to summarize the first one.
It's king and yellow, yeah, but it's like,
how do you summarize, yeah, you can't really summarize it.
I don't know, I hope it makes sense for you
if you haven't seen it.
C best, thank you for the two gifts,
it's glad to have you with us,
I'm the Abilay, thank you for the five,
you're gonna change the age,
you're turning about, you're 24 now,
on Kami, thank you for the three,
you bought God of War when I was on sale,
which one was it, do you plan to play it on stream?
Yes, and I think it was God of War, Ragnarok.
Hold on.
Bro, I never be tweeting shit.
I'll change it right now.
Dang.
All right.
10, think of what the sub is
and what you do in Think of the Sub.
Go and beef the sub.
All right, lock in.
Don't spoil.
Destroying a world that doesn't exist.
Run Avery is the last line in a book
that Avery did not write.
A few months ago, a YouTube channel called Avery the Mayo
uploaded a video titled Weird Book.
Oh my God, he does a recap.
Cinema, cinema.
I'm restarting, I'm restarting, I'm restarting.
He does a recap.
This is the recap, right?
Run Avery is the last line in a book
that Avery did not write.
A few months ago, a YouTube channel called AveryTheMayo uploaded a video titled Weird Book I Did Not Right,
where he discovers a mine in his Minecraft world that he claims he never built.
Inside the mine is a chest with a book, with various ramblings and a message at the end addressed to him.
But if not Avery-
So dead ass if I had that world, I'm just deleting the drive, bro
He goes on this long adventure trying to figure out who and what happened
Oh fuck off if I inherited some world and they mess it they mentioned me in it
Dude, I'm just I'm throwing my PC out
Then who wrote this book and how did it get into Avery's world? Well just recently
A 15 hour video trying to find out why this book exists, why was he born to run away, and
what is behind these gates.
That's where it ended.
You see, also just a few months ago, a Google Drive folder was discovered containing footage
of a player named Duralord3 exploring this exact same world.
He digs into the wall of the mine and finds a cave full of structures that should
be impossible to find in any normal Minecraft world. Except, he also claims that he didn't
build any of this and just discovered this world on his computer. But when he finally
reaches the end of the cave, Dear Lord 3 sees-
I'm gonna get into the lore and the story in a second here. I'm already- I'm into
it, I'm into it. I just wanna make one comment real quick. Side note, if I was in this
world, I'm just installing hacks. Okay, I fuck doing the puzzles and trying to figure
out I'm putting I'm giving myself x-ray, you know, and I'm just gonna go where is
this fucker? Something behind these gates. Something that he censored and that
drove him into running for his life and leaving this one last message to Avery
before completely disappearing off the face of the internet. Since then we
We know Avery found Derlord's laptop in a storage locker and has been using it as his daily computer, only recently discovered-
With that cringe ass slime skin, bro, it ain't fucking 2014 anymore.
Get a new fucking skin, buddy.
Covering this cave and the-
Nessie, tell me you got TBNR frag skin on, bro, you ain't pressing plays.
Book addressed to him, but what happened-
Lights? You want me to turn the lights off?
You think it's too bright?
you
you
you
you
you
You
I
My god, why we edge in it bro walk in
It's just a block of gold?
Uh, is that it?
Just a gold block.
It's not really that crazy.
Even Avery seems a little disappointed.
It looks like we've hit a dead end.
Oh my god, he fucking broke it.
all that for nothing.
There is not a single cut in this footage, from when Avery goes behind the gates to when
he finds himself in this place, the footage doesn't cut once and somehow he's here.
Apparently he also got changed into survival mode and can't change back.
Whatever this is, it shouldn't be possible in any normal Minecraft world, but it might
bring us one step closer to finding out what happened to Duralord 3 if he all-
Oh my god bro, getting fucking put in survival world?
You hear a voice over the loud screen?
If you died in the game, you died in real life.
I'd be like, oh my god, I would so believe it too.
went through these gates and ended up here before he disappeared, then there might be
some clues as to what happened to him.
And Avery seems to agree because instead of what any normal person would do here, he turns
You close the game puts you in a coma.
He's left into another gate.
Wait, now it looks like it's outside.
I
Do like why can't minecraft be like this holy shit
This I know there's mods that make it like this brother should be like actual this would be so awesome to have an actual minecraft
Wow
This is the last time I'll say this, but it should not be possible for any of this to happen in a normal Minecraft world.
How and who built this is completely beyond me, but Avery keeps going, following the bridges through these giant mountains.
Creator built every single thing you see. That's awesome.
I mean, freaking peaceful mode, why is this hangover not going down?
You see like an actual humanoid creature peek over the fucking peek over the side. I'd tweak
It's way too quiet
Way too quiet. I'm hating that
Or walk forward you fuck
Oh, that's something in the in the distance up nevermind
Or just be looking around I was gonna say that looks like something in the distance over there. Oh
The door is gone. Oh my god, so now he's just stuck here
Or did he just walk no he I think he walked out of the render this too
So quiet.
What the hell just happened?
Is everything gonna just start breaking?
I'm just jumping. I'm hoping there's water at the bottom
Fucked what MLG dude Wow that was a fucking play, but it's not over yet
As Avery keeps going from mountain to mountain, more and more disappear all around him.
Every second counts and if Avery isn't fast enough, he'll fall right into the void.
What's that?
Oh my God, is that something even taller?
Is that a screen?
It's the broccoli from Mob Psycho!
Oh my God!
As Avery heads over to this massive tree, I want to mention something you might have noticed.
Some of the blocks on the mountains didn't look naturally generated.
I mean, none of this looks naturally generated, but some of these blocks-
Yeah, there's an odd number of Nether-Rack.
Well, I mean, there shouldn't be any Nether-Rack here.
That's gonna be some sort of puzzle.
Don't look like they're part of the mountains.
In fact, if we take a look back at Der Lord 3's footage and inventory before he vanished,
all of the blocks we can see on the mountains line up with blocks that he had in his inventory.
That likely means that Der Lord 3-
Der Lord's bin here!
Was here and we now have a concrete trail of breadcrumbs to follow and find him and
Chills just as Avery reaches the roots of the tree we can see even more clues
I mean this bridge is obvious
But there are also small specks of moss that must have been placed by hand someone was definitely here
And after reaching the bottom, Avery heads into yet another gate.
And he's back.
Except now he's one row of doors closer to the end of the hall, one row closer to Duralord
3.
this place is disregarding who even yo yo strategy let's just start jumping the
fucking bridges hey just start are we really gonna go zigzag through about
25 fucking golden doors right now we just gonna you know a little cheat code
to the end made it dear lord 3 is almost definitely somewhere here behind
one of these gates is the answer to what happened to dear lord and the
The truth of what this place is, all Avery has to do is keep looking.
There was a trail of blocks, so hopefully following them should lead me to Dyrlord.
That shouldn't be too hard.
Well, we were really putting the three in Dyrlord when we typed that shit out.
I'll just type in Dyr with an E.
Yup, nope, that's the back rooms.
Turning around here.
If your lord made it through this world, so can I.
I'll be the one to finally find him.
See what happened.
You wouldn't need that many crafting tables.
This is just like Tarpon Springs, swore it out.
If this is like the back rooms and like an hour in he sees an actual like character staring at him
That would scare the shit out of me
I'm so serious
Like a hero brah you could be hero Brian, but I I
Swear I heard some shit
What is that noise?
The light went out.
Jesus!
It's a small detail, but the light from the house that Avery just explored. It's gone.
That doesn't just happen normally and it can only mean one thing.
Someone's there.
Something is here.
It eats your lord.
I'm taking the lantern. Why don't you give yourself a light source, buddy?
Always go left. Always go... God, you're such a dork.
Nope.
Left.
Left.
Oh wait, they don't go anywhere.
AAH!
Oh my god!
two MLG fucking honeybob players
That looks like a tomb.
Was that not a grave or some shit?
Well, we need to use this.
How do we clutch up that last one?
It's too easy.
Oh, it's another door.
Should we get back, right?
In theory, he's moved to space, yep.
Avery exits a little rattled, rightfully so, but once again, he's another row of br-
I don't want the freak!
Closer to the end, another row closer to Durlord 3.
It was brief, but you may have caught sight of a single crafting table when Avery was running
up the stairs.
It doesn't make sense to just-
What the flat guys, jeez.
Be there, which again, likely means that someone was here before Avery.
Someone like Dyrrlord.
It might be creepy, but we're on the right track.
We just have to keep watching.
Dude, these worlds are scaling though.
they just keep getting scarier.
How the fuck is he gonna get through this?
His ominous ass music grows on Mars.
Rows actually on Mars.
Yup.
Avery finds himself in a desert
with no clear indication of where to go from here.
In the distance we can see various ruins,
Structures that are far too big to have been built by any passing player.
Whatever they are, they've been here for a while.
Similar out there, there has to be an exit gate that'll get us closer to Duralord.
And without any direction, Avery heads off, blind into the night.
Very weird glass pane placement, could be remnants though.
I
Change title actually yeah
J. O. Liracle asked cool minty. Okay. Rue menace Skelly
Ethereal in and hip think of the sub channel and Dax for think of the sub night for the three
Can you pause for a minute now see?
Arian cloud for the sub you boy think of the five lock in
It's strangely quiet in the desert, no sign of anything following Avery.
He passes ruin after ruin after ruin.
The scenery doesn't seem to change no matter where he goes.
The dunes are endless in every direction.
Until finally, Avery sees it.
Is that a big ass?
An obelisk?
A what?
A obelisk.
An obelisk.
What the fuck is an obelisk?
Hey, killer.
And as Avery gets closer,
You can see that it has some strange symbols carved into the base.
Avery pauses as if trying to decipher the code and the footage stalls.
Yeah, I'm not getting anything from that question mark.
But quickly, Avery opens chat.
Upside down, L.
But quickly, but quickly he opens chat GPT and gets deciphered.
As if he realized something.
Ah, bro is speaking enchanting table.
Yeah, maybe I gave him a little too much credit.
Avery decides he can't solve these runes and turns away, but quickly spots a crafting
table in the distance.
Another sign that yet again someone was here.
And over the hill, even further, there it is again.
We ain't pickin' up bastard tables, probably just usein' for more blood every time.
And once more, finds himself closer to the end of the hall.
Now, I'm trying to understand how this all works.
Remember, we started in Avery's single-player world, which had no business having this massive tunnel in the first place, but okay sure, let's accept that.
From there, Avery entered the same gate we saw Duralord III look behind in the original footage.
But instead of something censored, this time all there was was a gold block.
But when Avery left the gate, he ended up somewhere completely different.
A massive hall of doors.
Each door seems to connect to a different world,
and scattered around these worlds are blocks that we know Dirt Lord 3 had in his inventory.
Why is this of only chatter spoil?
Andre World, uh, Alex Puss, and Nab the Sub.
Great. Red Crumb, I'm Artif the Sub.
Does that tell us we're on the right track to finding out what happened to him?
But there's still 14 hours left of Avery's foot.
Lyrically thinking of the fucking thousand biddies for 15 hours.
You think you can actually watch that on YouTube?
Bitch.
So if you want to figure out what happens, we have to keep watching.
Bro, there's actually 15 hours, but it-
See, this is a cool- This isn't that scary.
This is just cool.
And that peaceful music too?
Some shit they put when you're getting a massage.
Like when I have a brook and there's one guy, one girl,
and I have a guy massage me.
Comes with whispers in my ear.
I'm gonna take a flip over.
Avery goes from house to house, exploring this seemingly much more tranquil world.
Every one of these worlds has an entrance gate and an exit gate, but this red dimension
is the first one without an obvious exit, and as a result, Avery doesn't know what
to do.
He's kind of just here.
The only thing he can do is go from house to house and try to find any clue about where
the exit gate is.
That is a sick Minecraft house, bro.
Oh my god, I wish I could build like that.
I just go for efficiency though.
I just go for efficiency though.
What the lantern?
Why did the music just stop?
You're lyrically thinking of the 1850 bits, bro.
Where's Hannah? Don't be pissed. They could be here with me.
It's just colored.
They could have just ran out of blocks, potentially.
Or you gotta break it.
Uhhhh...
You know, they're like baiting us into thinking he's found something.
But there's nothing here.
Everywhere he looks, it's just dead end after dead end.
He tries counting the beds in each house, going to every last one and taking a note.
Maybe this is the way out.
May only know how to spell.
Isn't it with a U? Or am I stupid?
But once again, there's no pattern.
22213312.
And Avery gives up.
The carpet was an arrow.
Okay, I'm done with this.
Where are you? I know you're here.
Come on, dear Lord. I need your help.
I said, where are you?
Answer me.
Where are you?
Look at me.
I am here.
You are so eager to find me earlier.
Come at me.
Come to me right now or I'll leave.
Wow.
I'm not gonna keep hanging out with you and you don't kept towards me
From out of DC. He's baiting it
You're gonna get a chat though. Pony thinking of the three. I can tell me what this video is about. You know Pony I
Can't be doing a recap brother. We got a two-hour video right now. I'm sorry man. You're either locked in here or not
You know me a Taylor thinking of the fucking thank you for the fucking poor not prime stuff
They give me the tier one that sub
Appreciate it. Yeah, we got a tap in though
Fully lock. Fully lock.
It says disconnect. He's in multiplayer.
He has a server.
Let me stop by right next to him.
My name is Damond.
It's me. It's me. You're friggin' Ethan.
Even here I am playing this stupid minecraft world now. That's lose your shit. Oh my god
Here's the Amy son of minecraft. I'm like
Well watch the news or some shit watch the ball drop I can't do this. I'm gonna do a fortnight lobby. Oh, sorry
I don't know what you want me to do
I'm not smart like you are
Can't figure this out
How am I supposed to find him? Please, give me a clue.
Oh, this is like compliment baiting.
Come on, dear lord. I'm not as good as you are. I need some sort of hint. I'll never be able to make it.
I mean, my stupid chud slime skin, God, I'm such a loser.
I hate, dear lord, anything.
Oh, let me turn on my FOV.
Is that a... a crafting table?
Dear lord, is that your hat?
Oh, another one! It's a trail!
But something isn't right.
Rewinding the footage and looking at this exact spot on the hill, there's no crafting
table in sight.
This table appeared later as if to guide Avery to his exit gate.
Someone or something must have placed it when Avery wasn't looking.
If this was Derlord's doing, there's no reason he would hide himself like this.
And this might be the case for every crafting table we've seen thus far.
So if it isn't Dyrlord 3 leaving this trail, then who or what is Avery following?
I'm coming, Dyrlord. Don't you worry.
Oh, what? I thought you were going to be back in the regular rash room.
Where is he?
The next world that Avery enters looks like a small town.
It's a- YOLIERICALLY!
Think of it at 2K bitties, brothers!
Aren't thinking of the 5H11, thinking of the SubJobah, the SubWorn and Fatter, thinking
of the SubPine even at 3.
Uh, actually I don't think of it as I'm lyrically think of it as you would give any time for
it so.
Also pretty calm and like the last one there's no obvious direction of where to go.
Nor are there any breadcrumbs that you might have left behind.
All Avery can do, once again, is walk around looking for any clues.
It's New Year's fricking Eve, Mrs. Hansenian, some sort of Minecraft mystery.
They had a pool and round, I don't think this is ground.
I'm not sure.
Yo, bro. Hit tab.
Der Lord's in your server,
bro.
He must have died there.
Where are you, my dear lord?
Did you pass?
Oh my god, that would scare the hell out of me.
Oh my god that would scare the fuck out of nowhere the sky goes black and we can hear
a noise it's not about finding the next gate anymore it's about getting out of here without
being seen there's gonna be something
This is actually freaking me out a little bit.
I
Like it goes from dead day to pitch black
Yo YBG for the fucking raid, bro
Thank you for the raid, bro. Yo YBG bro if any of my viewers were mean to you yesterday
I am truly sorry, bro. I did not want motherfuckers to be mean to you
I crash out at games when I lose. I was a bit annoyed. I
Wish you the best bro. I hope you're okay. Thank you for the fucking raid boss. We're watching a
Minecraft ARG horror video your viewers are probably not going to understand it but thank you for the fucking raid dude
I appreciate that
Do I know who won the beast games yeah rage
You just gotta run for it like if some shit fucking sprints at you right now.
I'm just have DCing
Why is he going back down
Isn't this where he just came from it's closed
Yeah punch it with your fist
I'm just wasting the honey block. You need to take that shit back up.
Oh, please. What?
And the water is horrible, dude. This is worse scenario right now.
Bro, fucking swim up. You better drown.
I
Alright, we just wasted fucking six crafting tables to fucking stand on a ledge dude. You could just swim around
Wasted mats just for actually same shit
Where are you dear Lord
What
Brothers says what the fuck was he won't he won't say he said he says WTS what he won't say you don't understand
Like that in my life
Why was I so scared why am I so scared I
Can't go lived in a bubble house. He said he never been that scared in his life
Never been that scared in his life, but even a Minecraft world. I know the shit's freaky, but I'm like, yeah
We just been living in a bubble, bro
I can't do this.
I'm sorry, dear lord.
I just can't do this.
Oh my god.
Every time I try and do anything, it just doesn't work.
I can't solve any puzzles.
I can't figure anything out.
And now, I'm scared of a game.
I'm just not enough.
but if not me then who else I have to keep going I don't know maybe give the
world to somebody that's not a fricking shod maybe somebody that's not a
It's blood and all actually fucking win the game brother.
Whatever is filling him with this much fear.
Gotcha, what a special loser.
Must want something for him.
If it left him a false trail of crafting tables and essentially coerced him into going deeper into this world,
it must be leading him somewhere.
But I don't know what the goal is.
Why is Avery important and what even is leading him in the first place?
Not once have we actually seen a monster or an entity.
Just hating on Avery for not swearing.
Yes, yes, actually.
It's either don't curse or curse, okay?
Let's get out of here
with these fucking weird fudge, frick, freak.
Like, bro, that's toddler shit.
Like, actually, what the frick?
What the frick?
Are you fricking serious?
You mean fuck.
Like, I don't like that as a term.
Like, if you say what the flip, you're saying fuck.
You wanna say fuck, but you're censoring yourself.
just to just be like oh dang it but dang it's a version of damn it it's like
every fucking turn that's like a kid-friendly version he's like it
means a curse word like in your head you're saying fuck so it's like what
are we doing we've heard noises and seen blocks get destroyed shiitake mushrooms
yeah you just said shit and placed but never seen something physical actually
come after Avery, but nonetheless his reactions are very real. He's clearly been terrified
on multiple occasions, so whatever the thing in this world is, its plan is working, and
Avery is only getting more and more hopeless.
Guys, I think that Malmobar was laced with acid. I'm low-key tripping right now.
No, that's for the viewers, that's stuck around the last two hours.
We did a Nazi review and I ate candy, somebody sent me.
I was like, what if this has acid in it?
Yeah, bro, suck it in the pool room, see he's never getting out of here.
Are you high right now a little bit from that hot dog bowl?
but not too much. I'm a little hungry.
Laugh. Always take the- actually no, middle is very- no, no, middle is very- middle is very good right now.
Middle speaking to me.
Left or middle, I would be fine with either.
Never go right, bro.
Why would you- why would you ever go right?
Wait, no, this is gonna bring him outside of it.
Because that was the, like, the black void.
No, it won't.
Where the fuck is he?
Finally.
Yo, start playing Minecraft, bro. Harvest wood.
Build armor.
and enters a strange walled-in world with some structure in the center and for
the first time in a while the exit to this world is obvious. The gate that'll
take Avery back to the Great Hall and hopefully closer to his goal of finding
Dyrlord 3 is just on the other side of this courtyard. Well what's in the house?
There's not a church. After a few moments of hesitation Avery turns around
and decides to just take a peek into the church.
Bad play.
Oh, there's gotta be a book on the fucking Lactern.
You are safe here, rest here, you are safe, take shelter from that which haunts you,
nothing can reach you here you are safe it must be such a fearful thing to fall
into a realm of which you do not belong worry not
you are safe here oh my god why is he talking to me like I'm a discordy
E-Kitten, bro. Just read it.
I don't think so.
You are safe here.
Don't worry.
Bro, and now he just stops reading this shit? Okay, I'll start reading it.
We're not.
We're safe here.
I don't think so.
Here, where the twin suns sink, and strange moons circle in the skies.
Here, you are safe.
Here, in this place, you are safe.
Alright, we've gotten at about nine times already.
You are nothing.
What?
Is that word?
Uh...
Uh,
That word?
Uh,
Uh,
Uh,
Uh,
That's
Uh,
Uh,
Uh,
Uh,
Uh,
Uh,
Uh,
I
What the fuck is that middle section if it says you are safe here at the end
You know mr. T wiggly bro. I don't I don't I don't read I don't read those bro. I'm sorry
I see your chats though. The reason you got timed out is because you're spam spamming paragraphs
If you're going through something man suicides not the answer you got to call 988
Suicide prevention line, Christ is lying man. Suicide is not the answer to your problems man. I'm alone, Easter, no family, no friends
I'm alone on Easter as well. I don't, I don't really see my family very much
Like there's a lot of people in the same boat. I'm not saying that you shouldn't feel upset about it
But you know you could get friends in life brother. You're young
You gotta fucking get help for the problems that you're dealing with man. Suicide is not the help
Suicide is the end of your life. It doesn't fix your problems
Just removes your consciousness. You got a fucking actually get help dude, please
Hating for the sub STB P Cooper and Levi for the sub Ben and Jackson think of it a thousand buddies B1 for the sub
I am a young think of the raid again
Yeah
I'm taking that book bro. What was that middle portion? Was it blurred or was it actually
just black? Avery x6 the book and SD and CORE for the sub, Hayden for the sub. Yeah, but
I hope you're okay Mr. T bro. It's just the reason you got timed out is because
when people type, if people spam paragraphs in chat, doesn't matter what, you just
get timed out and it's your only chats. I wish you the best man, but suicide
That's not the answer to your problems.
I got to piss real quick as well.
So count me down 30 seconds.
SRN, thank you for the sub.
All right.
Uh, 9-5-4, think of it as free. Have a good day. Thank you. Now for the sub, think of the sub, S-D and S-R, think of the sub.
Uh, alright. Chat, let's lock back in.
Slowly heads outside the church, but he's no longer interested in the gate.
He collects a few flowers from a patch by the outside wall and begins roaming around the courtyard.
slowly planting flowers at various gravestones, as if in a trance.
I didn't censor that footage earlier. I don't know what it said inside that book,
but whatever Avery read caused him to slip into some sort of dazed state.
He continues to walk around, planting flowers, moving water in and out of this well.
And clearing up the ferns outside the church.
Then walks, without thought, into this lake, and dies to drown.
And he repeats this cycle.
For 12 hours.
For 12 hours straight, Avery.
I'm going to look at the fucking footage. I'm going to look at the fucking footage.
I am going to look at the fucking footage. Get the hell out of here.
The most mango.
for 12 hours. I bet it's looped footage, but that's still crazy.
walks back and forth along this courtyard mindlessly planting and replanting flowers, emptying
and filling this well, clearing up more and more and more ferns around the church, completely
devoid of any emotion, any sign of thought, anything at all.
For periods of time, sometimes an hour, he'll just pause, staring at the text, you are
are safe here.
How is this another hour and 20 minutes then if he just never leaves this area?
I got a message from Dere Lord.
I don't know who this Dirt Lord 3 guy is, but if you left me this message, I feel like
I owe it to him so he would love to figure out what happened.
Well, there were the trail of blocks, so hopefully following them should lead me to
Dirt Lord.
Coming, Dirt Lord.
Don't you worry.
If not me even.
Who else?
I have to keep going.
I have to keep going.
As far as you get a fucking flashback.
Limp for the five-hundredity drop. Sorry, I can't give you a recap.
This is a two-hour video. You need to do a recap.
I'm so sorry. I forgot. I forgot. I'm sorry. I won't forget you.
What do you need like IRL shit is pants all the way in the chair?
Or like pissed himself or something like if he was like sitting at his if you sitting at his gamer desk for that long
Trigette. I'm sorry. I got a mug pile in my pants right now
I just remember who I am
We're dropping all the seeds, you have finally bro, that took him a while, jesus, we ain't
even half way.
But the battle isn't over yet, he's one bridge closer to dir lord three, but to get to him
he still has a ways to go.
I
Know he paused and waited too much to fucking take it all in buddy if I'm him this shit's on peaceful mode. I'm
Sprint around this fucking map dude. Yeah, you got parkour jump down one
Bro just hitting straight double you key
Jesus
Yeah, I should fail the parkour here
For the snack section, Mayo has to hit a claw jump.
Come on, dear lord.
Give me a block, I can place.
You know I can't do that.
What he's losing is hunger bars, this isn't peaceful.
It's just such a cool structure, the chains look great too, you know?
As Avery kills this Dreadnoughts, Mayo then proceeded to drown himself on repeat for
12 hours.
I want to get food. We see something interesting in the water.
Most now, proceed to the ground as well.
It's likely that this pattern is actually some sort of door that opens up another room.
And the button that Avery pressed earlier might have something to do with opening it.
He goes around the pond and on each one of these pillars is another button revealing some valuable block.
And Avery lists all of them out.
But, what to actually do with them isn't obvious.
After a bit of thinking, Avery tries simply breaking into the pillars.
If this is meant to be a riddle or combination lock that you can force it open by looking
at the wiring.
But, inside of every single pillar is nothing.
It's just a small circuit that reveals the valuable block by opening the trap door.
No connection to any sort of larger redstone circuit.
this pillar with the diamond block. Inside it, it has a small tower made of quartz, but
it doesn't seem to lead anywhere special. The puzzle must have something to do with the
blocks themselves, and not with the actual buttons, and Avery is once again stuck in
figuring it out.
That's what we came up with Mayo after after fucking looking it right down everything. Oh, maybe if I place a redstone on it
Screw this break through the fucking block
There we go, now we're playing fucking Minecraft!
Oh, it's Netherite!
The block that this door is made of is Netherite, the hardest breakable block in
all of Minecraft. Without any tools, it takes 4 minutes and 10 seconds to destroy. Very few
people would willingly choose to break the nether right here because chances are solving this puzzle
would only make a fucking pickaxe. Why don't we make a fucking pickaxe bro? I know he only has
four wood, he could have grabbed wood fucking earlier, everything is breakable buddy. Could
could have grabbed, why are we punching him with our fists?
He's had multiple opportunities to actually play the game
and refuse to.
Open the door instantly.
But Avery is done trying to solve these puzzles
how the world wants him to.
He's going to find Duralord III his own way.
You know, they actually included a minute-long version of him fucking shopping through that
block crowd.
Walk through the portal.
Walk through the portal, jerk off.
There we go.
There we go
Well, if your lord must have been really smart to solve that one
You're not you're skipping peak I'm skipping him break a fucking netherite block with his fists for the rest of it
I'm a light you see it, bro
Avery enters into another world a
A library. That seems to extend infinitely in every direction.
Like Hogwarts.
He then opens a book with a blank page and proceeds to fucking chop his nuts off on repeat for 12 hours.
Founded are strange books.
Tell Dyrlord based out of science to remember himself.
Go for it!
Without any direction, Avery keeps going through the library, but finally, he catches sight
of something in the distance.
I just want to see character bro that should be crazy.
Only one step left as there always is.
Brother wishes to wait.
Oh!
DURLOR!
That's so random once.
Brother.
I do not hear it.
I hear in patience the weight of the flock.
They want it.
The only one they call beg for it.
Knock for it.
If the key soon turns, our future awaits.
Wishes to wait.
God, it's freaking Der Ward.
We've been waiting for you this entire time.
Wow, Der Lord's such a high IQ player, bro.
He has a wooden axe.
This kid's just been punching shit with his fists.
Hi. I never thought you'd be...
You're not a very hard guy to catch, you know.
Hey, three.
It's you.
Me.
I found rings ring any bells that you did
How do you know me? I found you I was starting to think I'd never find you
What can I say?
Are you okay?
What happened?
Why did you leave all that in my world?
Well, I'll be honest. I wasn't in the best state of mind when I left that message
What do you mean just got through divorce been drinking a bit
what book the book in the lector right above us well you kind of cut me off my
bad you should read it no way bro just put a fucking a fucking face okay okay
one sec bro put out the tongue bro put colon P colon P no way you should read
Why did Der Lord just start spamming gibberish?
Only one step left.
Oh my god.
Something's in the air.
I do not hear it.
I hear impatience, the weep of the flock, the one they call for it, beg for it, knock for it.
Yet, the key soon turns, our future awaits.
Father is spoken, the final eve is ready.
I wish I knew the ritual, but he tells me nothing.
It will save us from this old world.
Show us something new to speak honestly now.
I can hear it in the air when I close his eyes and listen.
I woke before dawn to see brother Iannius eyes dark, frozen, whispering, chanting until he
wasn't there. I do not feel well. Father can't know. Don has come. Father said nothing. He
guided me to it. The altar. I wait there now. Am I to speak to it? They've stepped back.
I await the one we are all here for. The king. The king. The king. The king. That
Riding in like night and dawn below, I must write, write, write, drown it out, drown it.
Can't hear the tapping, and then me as one.
It was not a door.
It was an entrance. I must write quieter.
Something fell on me.
I must write quieter.
Bruh.
impossible maker, it knew all of me. The screams lasted just three seconds. They echoed longer
into his silence.
Bro, it has not come back. I don't know what to do. I fear I will have to use it
again the spell yet I feel too weak lost I dug to the courtyard I watched it watch
me I went the flames again the eyes found mine I ran to the door nine times
it vanished I closed them all the wrong god came okay we let it yo I mean like
what is happening right now what the wrong god came we let it stood by me in
our perfect courtyard those once again full it was full again as he
It walks to me like the footsteps that left removed the world like the tar we desired.
Wrong God came.
We let it.
I'm the only one left now.
I think I must use it again.
I could barely mutter a single word.
Find the doors, close them all.
They will not all lock.
Wait, they will not all look like doors.
Please, find the doors.
Close them all.
They will not all look like doors.
You will know them when you are close.
Sal, what do you think?
What does it mean?
It's weird, but what does it mean?
Do you know about the King and Yellow?
No.
Do you know about Haster?
No.
Is that the King and Yellow?
Okay, there's unfortunately no way I can put this.
That doesn't sound a little insane.
So bear with me.
The thing that the book talks about, the King, I guess, is something unknowable.
It's something that shouldn't be able to exist, because it is everything that exists.
Bro, is that not the DAO?
Like, isn't that like the idea of like, explaining something that's unexplainable?
That's what the book is talking about.
That's what was behind the gates.
But it's not like anything I can describe.
It doesn't have a shape.
Or at least you don't see a shape.
When I looked at it, at least, it flugs your mind with knowledge.
knowledge it was never meant to hold. Everything that once was everything that now is and everything
that will be, stuffed into your head, and through that it shows you that everything that you think
you know, your whole reality, is a world that doesn't exist. That everything you think is true is a
tiny, tiny, minuscule part of an unknowable whole. You live in an illusion, and wait bro,
So Der Lord is actually spitting facts right now.
It crams all of that truth into a mind far too small to handle it instantly and it hurts
like a truck.
That was behind the gates?
Yeah.
So you knew to warn me because-
Because I knew you the second I saw it.
I knew you would find this place, and post a video.
Uh...
Are-are you okay?
Something about this place makes it better.
God knows how.
That's the interesting part.
I know nothing about this place, so much about the real worlds.
Well, the real world.
But nothing about here.
So... you're okay?
Well, I feel like my head's gonna explode if I look away from the screen, but as long as I don't do that, then yeah, I'm okay.
Zimbro's just stuck in the VR minecraft first because he knows too much about the real world.
How long have you been here?
Couldn't tell you. After I wrote the book, I passed out for a second, but I knew that I would die or at least not be able to think if I stayed where I was.
It's like I could see in my mind all the possible routes I could take, and the only gap in my brain was what would happen if I went back through the gates, so I uploaded the video and went back.
I have no idea how long it's been, I have no sense of time anymore.
Well, what do we do now?
Well, I'd ask you to leave.
I'm not leaving.
I know.
There's no way I'm leaving you here.
You know that there's no reason for you to get involved with this.
That thing was in my world.
I'm spending my freaking New Year's Eve playing this game.
You know what time it is?
I mean this guy keeps fucking going on.
You know what time it is?
It's 11.59.
The ball's about to drop and I'm sitting here talking to you, terrible.
It's almost midnight.
I've been playing this world for 13 hours looking for you and you're going to tell
me to leave you here?
After all that?
I know. And I appreciate it. But you're getting into something that isn't worth getting into.
Well, why are you getting into it?
I'm already in it, Avery. I saw it. I can't look away from my screen. I might as well figure out something while I'm here.
Okay, so let's figure it out together.
You're putting yourself at risk. For someone you don't even know.
Yeah, I am. And it doesn't matter. You're a person. You looked out for me enough to warn me. And now I'm here. And I'm staying.
So what do you suppose we do?
You're the guy who knows everything now.
Okay. I guess that's true. Did you see what the book said?
Well, it said a lot of things.
Right. Some group of people was trying to summon this thing. Some idiots, mind you.
They saw it too. At least the one writing did. And he left us a clue. To close the doors.
Like, the doors in the giant hallway?
Right, maybe. But I wager that the giant door at the end of the hall might be the more interesting one.
Right. So we have to get to it.
I think...
Yoooo!
Oh my god!
God
And just like that that's the end of Avery's footage that's all we get
All right, take it out of email right as we learn what happened to Durlord 3 right as we see him again
He's gone
But there's a leak because that random clutter of letters that Durlord 3 sent earlier in the chat
That's a Google Drive link
And finally we get to see what Durlord saw what happened to him all this time
82 HOURS OF DIRLORD
Running back and forth into a wall over and over again.
Writing in a book, he confirms everything that we heard him tell Avery, that the creature
he saw behind the gates, the king, if you will, forced an unknowable truth into his
mind.
We can catch a glimpse of the other pages in his journal, but he doesn't ever go
back to them.
In fact, it's quite the opposite.
He confirms what we know, that this place, this realm of the king, somehow makes the
pain bearable, that when he looks away from the screen, he feels like he's losing his
mind, but staring at the computer in this world is somehow keeping him sane.
He tries talking in chat, and pausing the game, but the pain is too much.
He mentions the only thing he has for food are some smoothies in the fridge by his computer,
but he-
Yo bro, survive it on animals!
Can't turn away from the screen without the pain coming back.
He just has to reach in and hope there's still more.
Bro, so he's only been there for like a few days.
Curiosity gets the best of him, and he decides to head through the first gate.
We're back.
We've seen this place before, but Dyrlord goes a different direction from where we
saw Avery go. Also seemingly unaware of the danger hidden in these mountains.
Why are people saying ears in chat? Oh my god, is the same bullshit gonna fucking happen where
It's gone.
But this time, it's different.
Derlord doesn't panic, and instead he begins to experiment.
Carefully he walks across the next bridge, looking around at every nearby mountain.
you
you
you
you
you
until finally he sees it.
the tree.
Your Lord?
What?
Avery, I thought this was how did you get here? Why are you here?
Didn't you read the book?
I wanted to find you. I had to make sure you were alright.
You need to disconnect, Avery. You didn't see it, did you?
See what?
You need to delete this world.
Bro, how is this- this isn't a found Google drive of Dyrlord exploring the world, and Mayo never met him on this block.
What about you?
I-I'll be okay. You just need to go.
Don't you want to look around at least? What even is this place?
You need to leave.
We can't look around.
Do you want to explore?
I mean, yeah.
Okay.
But this can't be Avery. We saw Avery's footage. We know that Avery and Duralord meet in the
library not here in the mountains which means that this Avery must be a fake and
their Lord seems to realize that too maybe by the way that it's speaking but
regardless this is not Avery. That's not freaky. Do you know how this world
works? Not really. Okay, so this is an imposter. If a mountain has more than one
neighbor and you step on it a random yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah what do you make of that
i mean it seems consistent it makes sense to me it reminds me of that one thing
like kanye something kanwe's game of life yeah that
close but you're wrong there's actually a fourth rule as well
Sure
Here try it say to and that one over there will delete
To
Yeah
Not she's his dumb ass. Oh my god
God. Idiot. But he didn't die. Be a more convincing Avery next time.
Bro, there's more of that kind.
Like where the fuck was that?
Dred thinking for the sub, Ghost of Wacky for the sub,
Jack and Mercy, 80s, thinking of the sub clutch,
thinking of the sub two and the three,
facing the sub Isaiah, the three.
Impinion of the sub, awesome, thinking of the three,
OG and Friday, the sub.
Loath, Sybil and Ash, thinking of the sub,
thinking of the five, net, thinking of the sub.
Chances are that tree is exactly
where he doesn't want Der Lord to go.
So of course that's exactly where he's going.
How the King even conjured up a fake Avery
is something I couldn't tell you.
And if you don't know what just happened,
Trap was something that Derlord had said earlier, just in case.
Using his green blocks, he pretended that this mountain had two bridges, when in reality,
it only had one.
But Derlord 3 isn't done here just yet.
Just in case anyone tries to follow him, he leaves a false trail leading to the lower
gate, because as he says, a gut instinct is telling him to search one more thing.
Wait, so he never went in this one.
So he goes up.
What do you mean TTT?
A different door is a short cut right to the end.
Wait, it did jump him forward a bunch.
A top gate. Derlord ends up considerably far. On a bridge we never saw Avery stand on.
And the next gate takes him to yet another familiar location.
Oh my god stop.
That's the fucking cart.
Where Mayo lost his mind and fucking placed water down fucking 20 hours straight.
Something about this world is wrong.
I can't place it.
Bro just dances it.
You better turn back.
the
chair Lord proceeded to read the book and then pull his finger nails outside of his
fucking fingers for 12 hours straight.
The chair now receives the temptation of checking the church.
Don't read the book, door lord.
don't read the book just reading the book this jackass oh my god do you think
we're actually gonna see what was blanked out
Stop. Stop.
So picture a big chongas.
Except, Der Lord's reaction is different.
He's in the inn.
The words are censored here too, but they don't have the same effect on him as they did on Avery.
If anything, he's just disgusted. I don't want to stay in here for too long. I can only imagine what'll happen
But as he's about to leave from what was written in his mind what was written in the bottom after thinking for a few moments
He decides what he wants to write
And heads into the next gate
But he did solve the puzzle.
Like Avery, he too makes it to the floating island, noting that for some strange reason
he's losing hunger.
He flips each of the trap doors, noting the block underneath.
And then, he doesn't say anything, thinking.
Until, he makes a pig.
The blocks correlate to the statue's dick sizes, and Der Lord saw that right off the bat.
He noted it in his notebook and then was able to solve the puzzle up.
And tries digging around the door.
But it's to no avail.
There's netherite on all sides.
He gives up on digging and tries breaking into each one of the pillars, but it's the
same thing we've already seen.
Redstone and no solution or hints.
Except for one.
The Diamond Block Pillar.
I think every team should have at least one good player why I don't know that's perfect peak rank hours played region bro fixes everything because you're going to have to do a lot of things.
I think every team should have at least one good player why I don't know that's perfect
peak rank hours played region bro fixes everything because you could have a really good player
but we're obviously going to play on NA servers and if they live in fucking Mongolia
You know, I don't give a shit if you're you're up rank fucking one, dude.
You're gonna have 180 paying in this format.
You are not permitted access into the tournament because I want to have a Google
Docs sheet of this is this player.
This is his peak rank.
This is his hours play.
This is his region.
So there's no questions, bro, because the traps get dicey.
Nobody knows Jack shit.
Nothing.
Hi, Vasco.
Hi, mind.
What is up, bro?
How are you doing, man?
You have something missing here, bro, I'm good, but you have something missing here.
In all caps, if you cancel, you are never playing a tournament again.
Thank you. Unless you have an emergency.
If you cancel with...
What if my fish died?
Valid reason you are never playing a tourney again.
again. Doctors. No need to
emergency or something personal.
diarrhea.
This is the perfect blueprint.
This is the perfect blueprint, bro.
No, he needs to add experience in
games similar. I mean, I've
experienced similar. Anything
experience in game similar.
I don't care about the genre of game they play.
So what if they're a really good FPS player?
Yes.
Joe mentioned this.
This is a great point.
Plus games you're good at.
Like for example, oh yeah, I'm unranked and battle it.
Oh, okay.
We'll draft you in the last round.
Oh my God, he's cooking.
W. Jinky.
It's Jinky, W. Jinksy.
W. Jinky.
W. Jinksy, bro.
Yeah, no, that's literally it.
Because it's like the way you could skew it is like,
we're playing CS and you're Muda.
I've never had a rank in CS.
I have no time in CS.
I'm at any servers.
Muda looks like one of the worst players on the book.
But Muda's radiant and valorant, there is skill transfer.
Yeah, why is there a zombie?
player died in there
The rest of this world lets the zombie out and goes inside, but there's nothing to find here
This is the only pillar with diamond, but it's not even the only unique block and just like the others
It's empty. So fully stumped
Derlord's brotherly agency says a jinky right now stop
What is it?
If you cancel without a vow of reason, you are never playing an tournament again.
Example emergency or something personal is fire.
Yeah, it's different than like, oh, I forgot.
Sits and thinks.
What's that fire?
What?
Oh, it's the zombie burning.
The zombie is into burning.
When exposed to direct sunlight in Minecraft, zombies burn 100% of the time.
But it did burn.
Somehow, this zombie stopped.
Despite being directly under the sun and burning before, it's totally fine.
Minecraft follows rules, this doesn't just happen, and Dear Lord immediately realizes
what it means.
Something is blocking the sunlight.
Usually if any block was there you'd see it right away, but there's one block in
Minecraft that doesn't render in if you're standing far enough away and yet, has the
ability to shade zombies from direct sunlight.
Shulker boxes.
Now, it's impossible to know how high in the sky these shulkers actually are, but if they're
up there, then it means they aren't just casting a shadow onto the zombie.
They're also casting it onto the water, so all the Dyrlord has to do to see them is
turn down his brightness.
And there it is.
I got an arrow!
No way!
What is this?
Oh, it's the fucking book world.
It's binary.
I'm a little rusty on that.
Oh, this is Minecraft Braille.
Wow.
The same conversation with Avery unfolds. Nothing we haven't seen before. But any second now, something should happen.
He starts tweaking out.
Oh my god, is he just stuck in the void, like, perpetually?
Are those eyeballs?
You are awake.
shouldn't be. You are awake, but you are alone. There is only darkness for you. There is no
hope. There is no future. And this is only the beginning. Today, 724 days after the Genesis,
I will fuse with the vessel and find I escape this digital realm and then your world will
belong to its king.
The vessel must remain intact.
How strong is this god if he got stuck in a Minecraft server?
Its mind must remain clean.
You may have moved it, but it will return.
for you. You are nothing. You have no place to stay. A fearful it must have been to fall
into a realm of which you do not belong. I will remove you. Now. Sleep.
You have no choice, sleep, no, your mind is strong, but I am beyond strength, I Am.
Now. Fall.
Where's the Super Meat world now?
I... I'm just gonna let the video play.
Lich from Adventure Time, I've never seen Adventure Time.
There's a gate, but no way to open it.
Your Lord is stuck here.
Somewhere else in this realm, that thing is waiting for Avery, who's I don't know where.
Somewhere else I hope.
When they meet, whenever that thing's form is finished constructing, it and Avery will
merge into one.
I mean you heard what it said, you don't need me to explain it to you.
Dear Lord has to get out of here... by any means.
Hmm, probably break the door.
Using boats, you can phase through plenty of walls and minecraft.
But Dear Lord can't seem to get it to work. That's off the table.
Oh, but he can't break it because it wouldn't reveal what's on the other side, it would just be see-through.
He's scared to break anything.
Whatever system connects these doors together, he doesn't want to ruin it.
But eventually, he runs out of options and breaks through.
Nothing.
Nothing works.
Nothing works at all.
He's stuck here.
There's no way out.
No way to save Avery and no way to stop any of this.
Yeah, replace that block.
What the fuck do you think the candle's gonna do?
So I'm in the door to open.
To lead the world? Yeah, what did that kill the king?
Let's try to like end our, our civilization.
Let me get on quiet.
What am I doing?
This is clearly not working.
If I can't escape with your logic, I'll escape with mine.
Why are you telling him you're playing because unfortunately for you, while I may be in your world,
we're still playing Minecraft. So for all intents and purposes, you're in my domain.
At the end of the day, Minecraft is a game. If there's a way out, then I can find it.
Rosette X-10,000!
Speedrunner attack?
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
I don't know what he's lining up.
I see it!
But why level is 320-
Blowspring on horizon 7?
Oh my god.
RTX 2070?
Big one.
C level should be single digits if this was empty.
If you're confused, Dyrlord is referring to two things.
The Y level is how high up in the world he is.
The lowest possible Y is negative 64.
He's at 321, unnaturally high.
The C level, and I'm simplifying a little, is how much air is below you.
If it was just straight nothing, or blocks, underneath Dyrlord, you'd expect the Sea
counter to stay identical no matter where you were, somewhere in the single digits.
But it's not, it's changing.
So maybe, there's something below him.
I mean that doesn't matter though if he can't get to it, and no matter where he digs, even
where the C value is the highest, there's unbreakable black blocks right below him.
Except there is one way through.
The boat.
You see, boats are pretty famous for being able to phase through blocks sideways, but
what a lot of people might not know is that if you get in and out of a boat fast enough,
you can also use it to-
React harder, Jackass!
What else am I gonna fucking say, buddy?
I said this is basically gonna be a watch party more than a react, because what am
I, what are you gonna start coming?
Oh, obviously, the Minecraft boat method.
downwards. So if he gets in the belt, we'll go through. It's a gamble, that's for sure.
Odds are, I can fall through and die in the void. Which case I'll go insane in real life?
I mean, if nothing's there, nothing's there.
But if something is there...
Like, something's there.
According to all the logic I've seen so far,
the only way out of a world is through a base.
Yeah! Oh!
But if I'm to trust Minecraft,
and all of my logic,
and notch than every part of me is screaming that there's something down there.
Get in the fuckers!
Oh my god, it's actually the multiverse.
Oh the shit's running at 15 FPS. Get a better GPU.
First try to blow the multiverse on a 20 series.
He's out. One door between him and whatever is at the end of this.
of this one chance to save Avery but once again curiosity gets the best of him
are you fucking serious I'm going in the I'm going in that door decides to take
one more peek behind the gate that's in the off like what the fuck
brings him back to the start full reset
bro this is that this is that a banded village from the first one from the
first episode right or now it's like an ungenerated
world maybe it's the same village in Avery's original world but seemingly
Every throzen in time, suspended in the void.
Our lord explores the various houses, checking corners but finding nothing of interest.
No Texel for the raid. You gonna walk into that void, big dog?
Alright, let's go into the big door now.
Oh, take it out of Sub-Only for the raid, I feel bad.
Why is it Sub-Only so people don't spoil?
We could probably take it out right now.
Until he sees a crafting cable left by a previous der Lord der lords giving hints to himself
My god, it's a book I
I will bury this one day 74 fucking pages yet the sun still sets upon a moment each night
silent away I am tired and they sleep I can write truths in moments like this I
have been aching stain pounding across my mind and I cannot tell them and they
cannot help and I know nothing each day they speak of me and whispers of my
mind that must stay clean they speak of gold given gold and found flames these
silent nights are ringing now. I don't know how long I can hide it. From them, from him,
he cannot ever notice. I know a way. There must exist a remedy. If I can stay awake long
enough, if I can stay silent, unseen, the scriptures are my only hope. The scriptures
are watched from dawn to dusk. Yet, I have dug another way. Beneath, and the roaring of
my head barely lets me sleep. Tomorrow is the final eve. Tonight, he will be awake. I must
be silence. I will clear my mind. It was there, the remedy, and the page I should not know.
The page he follows as he prepares the page he reads alone, far from watchful eyes, the key
to something new to speak at the old door of the one. Words for a union of minds. I could
not forget it as I snuck home through the bushes. I had never seen a firefly before.
Someone is coming.
He stood there in the corner with dark eyes whispering, chanting,
he is gone.
Brother Eunus is gone.
Oh yeah, throwback and sub only.
Oh god, it wasn't just the fucking spoilers.
There's people complaining and telling me to skip.
Yo, we're an hour and 40 minutes into this video.
You think I'm gonna fucking skip?
Don is coming.
Father can't know.
I can't have this page in my mind.
I can't let him find my words this time, you will never read it.
Or this book, this tomb of the page, I can't know it any longer.
I bury these words.
I stand and give my eyes to you, one by one, shadowed shore, far undone to you, I pour
corroded sun, wake me as one.
you
you
you
you
you
I
Know how to fucking craft a pickaxe, so it's probably cooked for that
Ozzie all wanna and can't think of the subject of three and the sub
Louise for the subs and think of the three Mikey and I could think of the sub shout out Dominic pixel
Think of the raid St. Narc think of the sub rabbit's boy and moody think of the sub dread and clutch
They give the subs again infinity for the son Derek is good to
See you soon just stay there
What a jackass all right turn around
Wow, that's a sick ass structure, he's at the king's castle.
Oh, now it's fucking bletching.
What?
I am the power of Minecraft on my side, I'm voting 3-1.
It looks like the same statues from that water structure.
I like to see him exact like circular pattern too.
Don't he got to repeat those phrases or some shit?
He's gonna be in front of them. Stop.
I'm getting scared.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Just a hole? Or is that an eyeball?
That's an eyeball. That's an eyeball. That's an eyeball.
That's a fucking eyeball, bro. I swear.
Is that an eye? What is that?
I don't like it.
Get the fuck out of here.
What the hell?
Oh, it's getting closer.
That's so cool how that fucking generated there though.
You've returned.
But your return is too late.
Why Avery?
Silence.
In mere hours I will be ready to fuse with the vessel.
Why Avery?
You speak.
Why is Avery the vessel?
Why him?
It is time that you exit.
Your stay in the Stilmane is over.
I already closed the door.
I read the book in the library.
I know how to seal you.
The doors are closed.
You'll never reach Avery.
Your plan failed.
He's gone.
I sent him away and he won't come back.
Fool.
How pitiful to see one so smart be reduced to so little.
Do you truly believe I would leave the instructions to my ruin in my own domain?
The doors are meaningless.
There is no power in closing them.
I had to find that book.
I fabricated that truth.
I gave you false hope.
I'm surprised you even returned.
There must be a hole somewhere, but no matter, your return is in vain, in minutes when my
form has finished constructing.
I will bring the vessel here and we will combine.
It will recite the spell and the gates to the physical world will finally be open and
I will rule with his mind.
However, we'll not be lucky enough to experience it. I will dispose of you painlessly as a thank you
for bringing the vessel to me
now
parents
I thought the king said that he placed everything there for him to find on purpose including the
book.
Did he mean the book in the library?
From again?
So?
He was not reacting because I'm confused.
Did you invoke that spell? The mind must be clean.
Why? You are ruining yourself.
You are...
Your universe is looking a little less than me.
Silence.
You fool. Don't you realize you're destroying your own mind, too?
You'll cease to exist if we merge.
There will be none of nothing left of you.
Cancel the spell. Cancel it. Speak.
Now you now you now you talk.
Release the spell. Repeat it.
I don't think I will.
You must be clean.
Your mind will no longer exist.
Cancel the spell. I'll give you anything you wish.
What power.
No, no, no, no.
But can he get that himself bro didn't fucking der burger or whatever is the
dirt what did it der lord didn't der lord get like all the knowledge of the
entire universe jammed into his head and like the snap of a finger he could
literally leave the computer if he wanted if his head didn't hurt and go
fucking make millions of dollars.
You will know everything.
Your mind will be spared.
You will survive the arrival.
You will live.
Release the spell.
Repeat those words.
Re-release it.
Bro, goodbye, King. Yeah, but that means Dear Lord dies too.
This is where Avery's dumbass goes.
Wait, it's me, Mayo.
Don't leave me.
I finally cracked this spell.
You don't need to enter him in your mind.
Is he just gonna die?
What happens?
Life.
What are you doing here?
Why aren't you at the tree?
What am I doing here?
What are you doing here?
Oh Jesus Christ, bro.
I literally just said he was here to crack the code.
It's not pretty locked, bro.
You lied to me!
There was nothing on that tree, D'erlord.
What are you doing here? What is this?
Avery, I need you to leave... now.
I'm not leaving until you talk to me.
I'm not talking. You have to go now.
Why?
I'm finishing the job, Avery. You need to get out of here.
What do you mean finishing the job? What is this?
Avery, I need you to leave this world, and then I'll explain, okay?
Disconnect right now, and I'll tell you after.
Close Minecraft, close your computer, I'll tell you what's going on.
President of King and his mind?
No, I won't go.
Tell me what's going on now.
I will afterwards.
I don't believe you.
Avery, I need you to leave, or this will all be ruined.
I'm not going until you tell me what's going on. What is this place, and what are you doing?
Avery, I'm not asking. If you don't leave, I'll kill you.
Will you?
Well, I'll kill you first. Tell me what's going on.
Bro, and I know there's gonna be people that are like, you're not reacting to peak right now. Bro, like I'm just...
Avery, the only way to stop this thing is to have it merge with-
Like I'm two hours in and I'm gonna watch two chuds fight with stone swords, or wood
swords.
Someone whose mind is already gone.
If I force it to enter my mind as it deteriorates, it'll go down with me, okay?
It'll be trapped.
We will win, but I need you to leave this area, or it won't work.
If you stay here, it all falls apart.
I have it under control.
Just leave.
Plot twist, he's the king.
What'll happen to you?
I don't know.
Don't worry.
Don't lie to me.
I said I don't know.
My mind is gone anyway, Avery.
It doesn't matter what's gonna happen to me.
I can't look away from this computer without horrible pain.
Soon I probably won't even be able to think at all.
If you stay here it'll merge with you too.
That's exactly what it wants.
be free in the physical world do you want that I don't care I'm not letting you do
this there has to be another way not this we don't have time what a hero may
oh yes we do there has to be another way dear lord please there has to be no
why is like mayo not asking for dear lords real name brah we're sitting here
still calling this motherfucker.
you
you
you
you
you
Isn't it ironic that a king loses to a lord?
God, that was cringe.
Oh my god.
Are y'all saying aura?
Isn't it ironic that a keg loses to a lord?
Me.
Dear lord.
You lumping moron.
Lumping moron.
That's a yes.
Yo mama so fat she casts a shadow over the sun.
And it just ends.
And it's just a link to one final video.
You know, it's weird writing a final letter, almost as if I have to come to terms with
whatever this is. Which is something I find quite displeasurable. But here I am. Why did
I even record all this? I don't know. Well I do know. I just don't want to be forgotten.
my head hurts like hell. I can feel myself slipping as we become one, and my mind becomes
a prison. What a true shame it is. All the knowledge in the world and no way to use it.
That's how it should be, I suppose. We stumbled into a world we have no business in. This
is just the cost. Please don't think you failed, Avery. When you read this, don't think you
let me down. You didn't. And it's thanks to you-
Oh my god, what is this breakfast club ass ending? I'm sorry, I can't act like I'm enjoying
it. Was this a good watch? Yes, what the fuck? What the fuck? I mean-
and all that you did that millions live to see another day.
And thanks to you, I got a chance to see all the beauty of the universe.
Things I never even knew were in-
You be the universe, bro! He saw Minecraft trees, dog!
What?!
Bro, you just died in the Minecraft first because the fucking king that was stuck in the server
was described in fact Avery, some absolute chud that was named Mayo, and needed a fucking
I-I'm gonna kill the keg.
Don't just say that because I saw it. It doesn't take a god for me to figure that out. I
Know it because I know you
Goodbye my friend
Whatever you do at the crossroads
Keep going forward
Or something like that and it's never really good with endings
I don't know who this Dirt Lord 3 guy is, but if he left me this message, I feel like
I owe it to him, so please take care of that.
Okay, I liked the video.
I would have rather them have like some sort of like friends to lovers.
Like, arc.
Like, if it was just like, I'll stay with you here forever then, Dirt Lord.
And then it cuts.
That wouldn't get her.
No one's just gonna die alone in Minecraft.
What a grim ending.
Oh my god, then we die together.
What does Yali mean?
I don't know what Yali is.
Gay porn.
What?
Gay porn. What?
Wow.
That was a good ending.
It was an emotional ending. Okay. Did I enjoy watching it? Yes. Would I rewatch that? No.
Don't laugh. It was broke because I really liked the first part. It's hard for me to
get into those Minecraft ARG videos because like you have to be so immersed and I don't
I like I got immersed and then when they made it so large scale it took me out of it
You know it being like some creepy thing originally
I was like oh fuck where's this going and then once it was like the king that was like
I'm going to take control of Avery's real body and enter the real world
Well the world that you think is real, but it's not actually real
I'm going to enter Avery's body and take over the universe. I went uh-oh and then I think that's where they kind of lost me and
Then the ending was just like fuck well derlord just got fisted there like that fucking blows
Derlord's like the hero. Yeah, but it's like bro. He
What did cloaks say it became more of a Marvel movie than a horror story? Yeah
Yeah, it pivoted so heavily.
The first bit was just straight horror and like mystery.
And then it was like horror, mystery, horror, mystery.
I'm going to take over the universe like Thanos.
And then now Dirt Lord's Doctor Strange
just fucking calling Dormammu for an infinite amount
of time to fuck over the God to save everybody.
It's like, what the hell?
Like, the ending, it didn't go from like horror resolution scary,
it went like horror, psych, I'm actually an evil villain.
Not like some weird demented God.
It's like, I'm just Dormammu.
So I don't know, I still liked it, but I don't know,
that's why I kind of lacked immersion at the end there
if you were like, oh, why is it Joe reacting?
Isaac Loxy picks out on the sun,
patched for the sun, cloak taken to three.
Hopefully you'll speak the ending leaves more to be desired.
Yeah.
I think my biggest threat was that there was
the voice acting for Avery instead of
Wi-Fi's narrating it.
I found the footage, found footage one creepier, for sure.
For sure.
I think the voice acting is good,
but it being like fully narrated did take it out.
it felt more like story than like found footage.
It was definitely more just like,
oh, I'm watching a movie,
which is definitely more cinematic,
but like it's less like creepypasta-esque,
you know what I mean?
Doggo thinking of the three.
I don't know if you remember, I was in chat,
forgot my bone cancer like four months ago,
and I'm happy to say I got my primary tumor
removed in my hip, that's awesome.
Now I'm doing chemo for my lungs,
can't wait to be out of the hospital.
Well, I wish you best for the chemotherapy,
And I'm glad the surgery for the tumor went well.
And I hope that you're all right.
I know that could be pretty taxing on the body.
I hope you feel OK.
Golden Richard with the sub, Mr. Honey and Big
for the sub, Koala, and Infinity, thank you to the five.
Boob and Tossy for the sub, Pash for the sub.
Chat, who do we want to raid?
I think I already posted on the main in the gaming
earlier today.
I've been posting mad early on YouTube.
I should probably start posting later.
But anyways, hope you guys enjoyed.
I had a fun time streaming.
because of the fun time watching.
The voice hacking was amazing.
Yeah, it definitely was.
All right, chat.
I'm going to be live tomorrow at like 3.30 EST.
We're doing CS cases and CS with Killdozer
and the random shit.
Shorter stream, I got a Minecraft video I'm filming after.
Tuesday not live.
Wednesday's going to be four of the floor above,
as well as Content King.
Thursday not live.
Friday chess tournament at like 4 EST.
I got a practice for that.
Tier list and random shit after.
CS with JoJo early Saturday and then random shit
After that, we'll continue retro rewind some time.
Reacts Sunday, next Sunday.
And then we have a 988 charity stream, Monday the 13th.
I'm going to be donating for that,
trying to raise money for 988 suicide prevention.
GeoGuester charted it to 24th, 4th, 20th, obviously.
And then we have probably another charity stream
early in May.
And then I'm going on a four-day content break
to film something with Jack potentially.
And then we'll be back running out of content
after for the sub,
but that'll be like a month from now.
Lockseed and Tex are taking for the sub.
We'll be streaming, you know,
five days a week until then.
But yeah, appreciate y'all, it'll be fun.
Go out to YouTube videos
and I'll see you guys tomorrow.
Who do we wanna raid?
I'm sorry.
Seen who's live.
We could write Junko.
We can talk.
I think it's 53k viewers though.
I just feel bad when I read somebody that has like five acts in my view count.
I feel like I should read somebody smaller, you know what I mean?
Spread the love.
We'll read Jynxie another day.
Connor, Connor eats pants is live.
We could read Connor.
Connor was in that Mr. and East video as well.
It's playing deadlock.
Yeah, we'll read Connor.
All right, appreciate y'all.
I'll be on fun and I'll catch y'all later.
We are going to rate.