⚠️ VOD is unavailable.
joe_bartolozzi VODs on twitchBroadcasts 30+ hours are truncated. View the Raw Transcript VTT for the full version.
Oh
Everybody
How's everybody doing on this fantastic fucking Sunday everybody chat it is a fucking
React day today. We are live a little bit early today
And we are rep a react day for the entirety of today. We haven't done a react day in over a week
It's been a bit.
So the next upcoming React days are just
going to be straight up React days,
because it's just been mixtures of React slash tournaments
or Etsy reviews or some other shit.
So we've got a lot of videos we're
going to be watching today, as well as Friday
for the next React day.
Why is then they giving it the 10 gifted subs?
Chad, here's the schedule.
Today's going to be a full React day.
I'll be sharing the videos that we're
going to watch in a minute here.
Tomorrow is the 988 awareness slash charity challenge.
We're going to be live like three to eight EST.
We're going to be streaming a bunch of games playing support,
including Marvel Rivals, Valorant,
fucking maybe CS, Arc Raiders,
who knows, Rocket League, stuff like that.
Just kind of trying to play support the entire time.
Tuesday, I'm not live.
Wednesday is going to be random horror games
into Retro Rewind.
Thursday not live.
Friday is going to be reacts and Saturday random games as well as content king next Sunday reacts and then next Monday
Is going to be 420. We're going to be doing the weed mystery box review as well as the
mystery snack box review that pop snacks sent me
Geo guess her tournament the 24th and then outside of that. We just have a bunch of random regular streams
Leading up to like the next charity stream probably like May 4th or 5th
And then I'm gone the 7th to the 11th of May filming a video with Jack
But then we'll be back running out stream
So we got a lot of content planned also if you have any of these a lot of skips into play
But he is such a good such job. How's your all Sunday?
Sorry, how to get that intro out of way exhibition point schedule if you want to know the stream schedule as well
Open cases hell no
So yesterday, I opened like $600 in cases and lost everything.
So no, I think all time I'm not like two down,
just because I've had some hits.
But I'm not opening cases for a bit.
I've been opening too many fucking cases, man.
Seriously.
Gunner, Edie, Connor, Ethan, and Derek for the sub.
FyD and Cloudy, thank you for the sub.
Reed, Troy and Dewey for the sub.
Hold up.
Reed taking the three, talking about baby chart viewers' jobs
for a video yesterday.
I'm not actually going to do that.
I'm a debate judge at Barista.
I'd love to see you do either.
I would say it would be cool to do that.
There's no real world where I would be able to do that.
Tyle taking the sub.
To be able to get permission, to get hired for a day,
actual places of work that my viewers work at,
it's just.
Yaz and WWE for the sub.
Tyle, Maddie and Rusty for the sub.
Potato, better for the sub.
Noob, Zach, my I'll think.
Why does that think of it as a 10 gift?
It's EBB, LPV, Sus, Potato, and AF think of it as a sub.
Oni, Suur, Nas, IK, Gunner, and ED for the sub.
Check.
Run down to the videos that we have today.
Starting out, one that people have spam requested.
Max video, I convinced a stranger to rob a bank.
I don't know if this is actually real or not,
but it seems like it is.
I don't know.
video we're gonna be starting out with that a lot of people want me to watch this video though
then we have a video of how the masters really works which is like one of the biggest golf
tournaments in the world or the biggest golf tournament uh history's most ridiculous jobs
that no longer exist ancient humans were stoners archaeology proves it in a scientist's view
of war but if uh philosophical end to the uh fucking videos that we have today maybe one
more if we have time we still have that me canyon video we gotta watch we get a lot of
Fucking shit. We got to watch
But that's what I have lined up for today not playing AV assembly again. No, thank you Atticus
They give it a thousand, but he's not playing that game again many think of the five gift
It's even fire for the sub and again if you have any of these you have a lot of skips in the play video
So I give such that BN and I am for the sub talk of the sub astra thinking before
What somebody told you I lost my job good news. I got another job. That pays much better. Congrats
I'm glad you got a better job Bob her and I came to the sub baby you jet thank you for the sub sewer
I can't black think of the subs on for the sub all right chat. That's the schedule outside of that I
Don't know there's probably some other big game drops soon. What's coming out soon? I
Know directive 80 20 comes out in early May. We'll be playing that then
007 drops in May shift at midnight drops in May
Nothing really else for April. I mean outside of like smaller games that were obviously playing oh final sentence just dropped
We're gonna have to play that as well. Maybe that's a maybe that's a Wednesday game potentially
Well, you didn't react to the whole stream yep, eb, sorry, I've said that like four times. I'm not trying to get a note
That's the patient with schedule. It's a full react a exclamation with schedule
Full react day some not a cutiel maybe not today. I will be games also not out notice
Uh, you say Nebraska, whatever you say, a random state, do you think it's because it's close to New Jersey alphabetically?
No, another random state I say all the time is Idaho or Iowa or Wisconsin.
Uh, very forgettable states.
Um, what's another forgettable state?
I try to think of like random, oh, Minnesota. No, Minnesota's pretty known.
I would say the most forgettable states are the Dakotas, Nebraska, Kansas, nobody's talking
about Kansas, bro, Arkansas, yeah, Arkansas for sure, Alabama, Mississippi get a lot of
jokes on them and Mississippi's like Tom Sawyer type shit, so Indiana, Indiana in
in between Ohio, Illinois.
I'm looking at a state map right now.
Other forgettable states.
New Hampshire.
Yeah.
New Hampshire.
There's one.
That's a pocket pick.
Nobody talks about fucking New Hampshire.
The hell they got going on over there?
Nothing.
Lynn, take it with a sub.
Fond Bird, Rahu, Klax, Kirby, no, Finn, Lil,
and Bag of the Sub.
Lex, take it with a three.
Anthony, enough of the sub.
Lynn and Hoffman, sub G, well, take it with a three.
Chat.
No pre-stream gap, let's hop right in to the videos.
Then I'll think of a sub.
I convinced a stranger to rob a bank, lock in.
Also, I'm saying it right now,
react days, full react days,
tend to have the worst chatters.
I'm not trying to put shit into existence,
but if this ends up being a sub-only stream,
it ends up being a sub-only stream.
I'm sorry to say it.
Chatters that aren't subs on non-sub-only days
have like an 80% chance of being an ass hat.
So a lot of the time it tends to be
sub only most of React days.
I'm not trying to be annoying, it's just
when it's a React day, people spam or request me
to do other shit, they're asking questions
that are off topic, they're being annoying,
they're spamming, they're saying slurs, stuff like that.
I don't know why more than any other regular day,
I think it's because they have the IQ of a peanut
and they don't wanna be here
during like a fucking gaming day,
so they just wanna be annoying during React days
because it's very stimulating.
But yeah, let's lock in.
Molly and Kool for the sub,
listen, D-Curve for the sub,
Loving and Logang,
K-Curve for the sub, Y-A-K-Curve for the sub.
I'll take it out of sub only right now.
If it gets bad, I'm just gonna silently throw it in.
And what I ask is if you are a sub
and I throw it into sub only and you notice,
please do not just spam W sub only mode,
because that further induces the problem of spam.
I put it into sub only mode to stop spam
and annoying chatters.
And then when I put it into sub only to prevent that
and then the wall of chat just becomes W subs.
It's the same exact problem.
The problem's not fixed.
It's now just diverted to people
that currently were not annoying and now are.
So let's lock in.
Thank you.
Sorry, I hate having to do that spiel, but I don't like it.
It's like every react day I got a fucking rant about it
for five minutes, just get it out of the way.
I convinced a stranger to rob a bank.
Tap in.
This stranger thinks we're about to rob a real bank.
I
Gonna be real here you guys suggested me this video like I don't know a thousand times and
I was not gonna watch it until it just kept getting spammed suggested which made me think that it was more real
but currently
Zero part of me thinks this guy's actually thinking they're gonna rob a bank
Like, he thinks he has a real gun in his hand and he's walking into a bank he believes
he's going to rob and steal money from.
That is like a 20 year prison sentence crime.
And the entire time they're planning it on camera, I mean get the fuck out of here.
And you don't know who Mack from Mr. Beast is?
Like...
No!
Open the lock!
These people are all actors!
Open the lock!
This bank is a secret film set and I even shut down this entire film set!
This entire town, just to convince him, all of this is real.
How much crime?
Will he commit for money?
Shoo, shoo, shoo!
OK, this is like fully fake now.
I'm not like, I don't want to just like tap out,
but like, yo, there is a camera zooming in a close-up
on his face.
Let's find out.
We'll give it a try.
if the Adam Ravi Adam Ravi 26 years old male no
credible record we're in a bass bro shops at where do we find this guy how do you
soft launch to a stranger that you want help robbing a bank what do you typically
say to them you you need a guy at a 711 you're like no I got an offer for you
There's ever a time where you were gonna back out, it would be now.
I'm not taking a guy in a turtleneck seriously.
That's another side thing.
Mack, we gotta really work on our approach.
If you're trying to get me to agree to rob a bank, you can't be talking to me in a
turtleneck.
I'm not taking any guy in a turtleneck seriously.
Now's that time.
My mom used to make me go to picture day in school with a turtleneck.
like first grade to like sixth grade or like fifth grade. I remember every every
time I would go to I would go to picture day with a turtleneck and I was like this
looks stupid. Weeks of careful manipulation have brought us here. You
already told me you need money. I can change that. But the trick I used. I made
you cross over the effect. We have a quick word. To convince this crone man he'd be
robbing a real bank.
I'm in
Might change the way you see me forever. I told Adam that in order to rob the bank
We needed to know when the next gold delivery was
It's the next gold delivery now. We're even getting more outlandish
Not only are you think you're gonna rob a bank you're gonna steal bricks of gold
You know how much a fucking a brick of gold weighs. It's like fucking 40 pounds
You're gonna run out with two in your hands? You're not gonna put that shit in a duffel bag?
We need to put a tracking device on the road. This is literally a Lester plan GTA heist actually somebody just said that in chat
This is a GTA heist
Whatever we're doing. All right first mission. We got a sort of tracker on this car
Keep following that truck
I'll kill you
Just to convince Adam
Bro, this is like when chatters recommend SNL videos, bro, like I'm starting to
Yo, bro, I'm not yo, I like I'm not trying I I'm fine for the cinematography of it
But why are we like full panning in this like I'm convincing him. There's a fucking there's a camera
Attached to the windshield. Oh my god, let it play. How am I supposed to let it play a chat?
I know it's fake, but it's like they're acting like it's not
What fucking dude if you're walking up to a a fucking armored car
That's supposed to be transporting money and they see your ass get on the get on top of your car and try to put a tracker under it
They're gonna fucking kill you
They explain it know what you're telling me that he thinks this is real
Real truly he thinks this is real.
Oh, it's closer to Canada!
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Being hesitant, I'm being too hesitant.
closer to Canada!
I'm definitely throwing Adam in head first with this one.
Come on!
Well, he's handling it alright, I think.
I think.
Caution!
Yeah, if they hit a bump and Mack flew off,
he would actually just die.
I know he has a harness on right now, but.
I don't know whenever they film these videos part of me too is like damn brother going
fast and they're playing like
Like a gear shifting bro at most they're going 25 miles an hour
Like this is still crazy, but like it's the way that they're filming it like he's not gassing the car
We got it! We got it! It's just a box with an LED. Oh my god. Oh my god. Why are we not
wearing masks?
Technically, Adam has already committed his first crime, campering with an armored vehicle.
It's about five years in federal prison, and he's about to add ten more trying to burn the evidence
Hopefully it doesn't try to burn the evidence bro. Why do we not have like what we now have masks see the massive fire truck?
I have hiding from him because
Safety first
Doing right. Yeah. Yeah, we did it everything. We set up the do we did we're good
The tracker is gonna tell us when the delivery is now. There's gotta go in there and take
Why yo if I'm robbing a bank bro, I'm putting an Apple air tag on that fucker
Why are we putting some big-ass blinking like walkie-talkie machine?
I'm putting like a little a little white circle right under the hood right on the tire
The trackers gonna tell us when the delivery is now. It's gonna go in there and take me
They're tagged would die. Yeah, good job. I hook it up to a fucking portable charger. I don't know good job
Why are you trying to fly? Why are you trying to fuck on my plane? How do you know that ain't gonna work?
Thanks. Yeah, I'm proud of you. Oh
All right, let's get out here now we see how well Adam remembers the plan because this is the last time I'm saying it
This is a you and me submission remember this things use a blank round chat
I can't get into this for 30 minutes for me knowing this is fake the entire time and then randomly when they actually get to the
bank they like unveil it and they're like surprise and he's gonna fake going
what what what you mean it's not fake bro is this guy a dumbass this has to be
the dumbest guy of all time if this is not fake this guy's a jerk off right this guy has an IQ of 40
like there's no way that he dude they're like we have a gta heist board up we have red wires with
thumbtacks of like png's of police cars on the wall what are what is that plant like what are we
getting out of that. It's just like a waste. I'd be like, wow, this is totally, this looks
like a totally legit fucking thing. This looks like straight out of a fucking cop show.
Sounds not bullets, but it'll look pretty convincing.
And that's all we're going to need. Because again, this is not run on violence. It's run on
intimidation. Yeah, they couldn't chat. They could not do this with real stakes,
Because if he truly thought it was real, even if Mac's like, I'm providing you the gun blah blah blah, and Mac looks at the camera and he goes, they're blanks, don't worry.
What if this guy just brings a gun of his own and fucking shoots an actor, right? You can't do that.
Like, you can't actually convince someone that they're robbing a bank.
That's not, and then making a new YouTube video, like...
I hear you, man. I hear you. It's just...
Yes, you can. No, you can't. Who are you convincing that you could...
Bro, who are you convincing? A crackhead? Like, I don't understand what you're saying.
You actually believe that you could go and walk up to a person on the side of the road
and convince them to rob a bank, film the entire thing,
and then at the last minute go, ta-da!
I'll just say it all right here. It's it's still
I'll watch it
You look like a crazy or something it is crazy. What's not crazy. No, it's not crazy at all
What am I told you this whole time?
trusty
You trust me
Look at me. My name's Mack. Do you trust me? I wouldn't lie to you. What is it? You see the thumbtacks and the red wire? You think this looks like a fucking fake robbery? What do you think? What do you think we're not gonna actually rob a fucking bank right now? You think we're gonna get caught? Dude, you see that we got that thumbtack on that PNG 720p photo of that fucking car that I just printed out at the local library?
Come on.
Yes.
Because the second you don't believe what I'm telling you now,
this whole thing goes out the window.
You're going to get scared.
I don't need any of that.
Okay.
Do you feel good about it?
Yes.
I think it's good.
You think it's good?
I think it's good.
All right, let's do this.
All right!
Everybody, get on the ground!
But if Adam's gonna believe this is real,
it needs to be perfect.
And perfect takes practice.
Let's do this! Let's do this!
Let's do this!
Let's do this!
Let's do this!
Let's do this!
Let's do this!
Let's do this!
Let's do this!
Let's do this!
That was good. Did you actually get scared by the other word?
Just acting.
You need to get an Oscar.
Creating the feeling of realism requires hundreds of hidden components to work flawless.
We are shooting a gun, even though there's no bullets, it's still very loud.
So everyone has hidden ear protection. You gotta get that thing in there more.
And that takes days of set dressing, rehearsals, and of course, permission from the cops.
Psst, my friend Adam.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Yeah, that's...
That's...
So like we want to rob a bank, but not really, okay?
Am I allowed to do that? Like...
No idea what's going on here.
The world this guy's going to be living in isn't real.
But a burning question still remains. How? How does Adam think this absurdity is all real?
Well, there's a small detail I left out.
I'm looking for you, guys.
Alright, guys. Just...
What?!
This is he thinks he's working for the FBI he thinks he thinks he's working for the FBI
and Mac and he's so he's not he doesn't actually think he doesn't want to rob a bank he thinks
he's working for the FBI and working with Max to plan this out there is this is more
outlandish than it was prior. This is worse. This is... How much longer do I got to do this?
I need as much information as possible.
See, behind my back, Adam's been secretly talking to these two guys, who Adam thinks are none other
than the FBI. To start recording, hold it up. We're gonna be able to talk to you
And he's been doing so since he met them six weeks ago completely oblivious to the fact that they're only actors excuse me
Are you and maybe that I've carefully rehearsed a script with hundreds of times. I'm special agent Ross. This is agent Lang
We're with the it with the FBI. I'm agent Ross
This is a young landing board with the FBI. Can we have a quick word?
I'm not sure.
But there's one final thing you
should know about that.
Are you familiar with Mack
Hopkins?
Yeah, I know.
You're the little buddy.
We have been tracking.
Bro, so this is, we're
convincing this guy that his
high school friend Mack, who
who does YouTube is really robbing a bank maybe for content? Is that like, hey
we're the FBI your buddy Mack is actually gonna rob a bank for a YouTube video?
Some very suspicious behavior. When was the last time he spoke with me? I mean, five years ago, man.
No man, he went off the rails after he broke the cookie in the Mr. Beast video twice in a row.
I don't know man after he lost fucking eight hundred thousand dollars twice
I think he really wanted to get his get back some would say
This guy it's your friend
Do you know him?
This would be like me doing this with Chris
like me trying to get fake FBI people to be like Joe's gonna rob a bank you need a
you and he's gonna try to get you in on it just like a little sketchy or something
we think he's gonna rob a bank based on all of the planning that we've
watched him do over the especially over the past couple of months we've also
learn that he's psychotic enough to be filming himself for some sick and twisted YouTube video.
So heads up, when you meet him there's gonna be cameras everywhere.
Wait, what do you mean me? You know this might be a lot for you, but we're we're essentially asking
if you- Oh Joe, they explained it, obviously. Oh that's so small proof now.
I
Do I'd be like number one prove you're an FB you flashing a badge to me is not me believing that you're an FBI agent I
Get approached outside of a fucking Wendy's and by you walk up to me and go your friend max gonna rob a bank
I'm a part of the FBI
Names, names sergeant Robinson, gotta believe me.
I'd go, you just showed me a fucking paper badge and a wallet.
Give me like more than that, you know.
Let's go down to the headquarters.
I don't know, the local station.
Have a cop, back check your ass.
We'll be able to go undercover for us.
Now that sounds like, that sounds like a lot.
It does.
Yeah.
Yeah, but what we're really asking is just send him a text message, re-establish a friendship with him, and see what you can get to know.
So, yeah, this-
What, just text back and say, hey, any robberies coming up, man? How you been? How's the YouTube game going?
Whole short on cash, maybe thinking about getting a quick fix?
Simulation isn't convincing Adam to me.
I'm also just not doing, Chad, if you say the real FDI approaches, even they're like,
we need you to do this, are you not asking for a metric ass load of money?
I'm going, you guys work for the government.
You have literally infinite money.
Give me money.
One million at least.
Yes, you're involving yourself in a potential bank robbery.
I'm going, give me $5 million more.
And Crimin, it's convincing him that I am, and despite our friendship, he's gotta bring
me in.
While I act like I have no idea.
Oh my god Max, you gotta get into the character bro, invite him into your house, do a line
of coke off the fucking toilet top, some shit like that, you gotta have a conversation,
and make him believe.
Like you see, oh wait, this guy actually has some problems, maybe this isn't for
Fucking YouTube video, you know do some crazy shit, you know, it's not actually cocaine. Maybe you do like sugar or some shit
I don't know that's like safe inhale, but
I can reach out to him and like I guess see what's up
But this is especially important if you know if you care about him who knows there might be an opportunity here to get him out of this
I'd have it would be like too hard to like take back out where we left off. I mean, we're pretty good friends before
Let's take a something crazy. Let's something crazy thing you can do. I mean
I don't know, I mean...
I don't know, maybe rob a bank?
Are you getting that? Are you getting that?
I'm leaning into the wire.
Are these like rocks? I don't know.
Hey Adam, that's...
That's way too obvious.
That's not bad.
I
Rob is like I do I never understand when people rob like
most almost all places I
Think the only thing that does make sense to Rob is like a central bank
Because if you rob a
Store like you know when you see dude, it's like every week somebody robs like a liquor store
I'm like, bro, you're getting, what, $400?
Maybe crypto?
Well, that's like more hacking than anything.
But like, yeah, motherfuckers rob a pawn shop.
Ugh.
What are you getting out of that?
Maybe the gold in the back or some shit?
Jewelry store?
That makes sense.
Yeah.
You know, you rob a jewelry store.
You rob places with like valuable items.
Or even like, dude, people that rob local banks.
How much money does a local bank have an actual spendable cash?
40k tops like most banks have no money like I'm not saying like 50k is no money
But 50k to rob a bank is nothing. Yeah, or ATMs
You see fucking you see those CCTV footage of three guys in fucking balaclavas
Pull up to the front of a 7-Eleven and and rip an ATM out of the fucking ground
What's in there? $4,000? Like, what are we fucking getting out of that? Now you're gonna load it on your car. It weighs like a thousand pounds.
And you're gonna drive it away? Like, I don't understand. Like, no planning. It's just like, oh yeah, let's just hook a cable up to it and rip it.
Weeks until robbery.
What are we planning what is the robbery what are we blowing up for the for this robbery
you go well we're gonna have to blow up a school bus first just to test see
whether or not our guns are working just all the stuff that was the car bro
they didn't blow up the car like that they set the car on fire tough no just
like kind of keep it down on the download you know what I mean yeah that's
the L of the download don't talk about it like me and you type stuff you know
what I mean for sure yeah I can't wait to if I made this a new YouTube video
all the comments would be like just just such a loser man this guy
I literally just try to disprove everything like literally just get into the immersion
I can't when the entire premise of the video is that this guy actually believes that he's robbing it
Not that he's robbing back. He actually believes he's working for the FBI like this is fully staged
I can't get into it. It's not like I'm watching like a Minecraft ARG like hypothetical video like this is like
Something that's like pretending to be real, but it's like movie-esque
It's real. Yep.
And Jeff Dunham's puppets are actually conscious when they speak.
Alright, Adam.
Ventriloquists actually just know how to manipulate objects in reality.
They're not actually just miming or anything, or using their voices to, you know, fucking talk for the puppet.
It actually speaks.
You've been known for to get it. Like, you're like in Goosebumps.
And we're really close to getting behind boys.
I really think I could talk about- Dark magic? You know what I will say?
The one- okay, I don't believe in like magic and shit, but you know when like, modern day witches have- what's that shit called?
Where it's like a baggy of stuff.
Not a voodoo doll. It's like a baggy of stuff.
It's not a curse or a spell.
What is it?
And you like put it on something.
A mojo bag?
I don't know.
A hex bag?
That shit freaks me out.
Not math.
What do you mean, math?
What?
Hacks bug?
Hacks bag.
I don't know.
Whenever I see that shit, I'm like,
I want to fuck with that person.
You know what I mean?
Out of it.
When somebody's like, I'm gonna put a curse on you.
In my head I'd go, nah, bullshit.
But in the back of my head I'd go, oh fuck.
Oh fuck.
That's not good.
I don't...
You know, like it would worry me.
I want to say yes.
I want to say...
Try your best.
Whatever he says...
Whatever he wants to do, whatever he wants you to do, you need to say yes.
If he says, if he says you two need to go down on another guy, you just got to do it.
It's part of the game.
Okay.
You don't understand.
This is serious.
Shit.
You see my badge?
I'm a part of the FBI.
If Mac tells you that you guys got to go into a strip club and things get a little
Harry and you end up getting you know there's only a kind of girl you end up
getting the other guy you just got to go down on man that's just how it works you
know
That's what we need
Five days until robbery
My question to you right now is
Can you do this?
If he gives you a puppy and he tells you to football spike hit into the ground
you got to do it man that's just a part of the game dude
It's worthy at the eye. We've seen some shit are you like your joke? No, I'm not joking serious
No, dude, I'm not joking. It's this is totally I got some information on a delivery going to this bank in Mexico
You're not you're not actually
Adam, I need you to focus.
Nah, you're still one, man.
Bro, you're still fucking with me, man?
Yo, if one of my friends actually was like, there's a fucking bank vault in New Mexico
that I want to rob, I'd go, hey, hate that you just told me that.
Number one, because now I don't want to be a part of it, man, you made me an accomplice.
Now I have knowledge.
See that's what it's like.
If you're friends, I'm not going to support my friend committing a crime, but if you're
going to commit a crime and I can't talk you out of it, just don't tell me.
Don't involve me.
Please.
Please.
Like if you're going to rob a bank and you're like, I'm going to tell Joe and I'm not going
to be able to talk you out of it.
Don't tell me.
Just do it.
You know, at that point, I'm not saying rob the bank, but like now you're just
roping me in on it. Like that's horrible.
I know he's your friend, but we have to-
You have to pretend I don't know them. Yeah, I just got amnesia. I don't know who you are.
Yeah, I'm the mission, okay?
I mean, I guess I was kind of hoping you'd feel different about it because-
Um...
Adam, whatever he asks you, it's a yes.
It's a dumb question for even asking it, but-
No more friction.
No more move air.
I was gonna ask if you wanted to do it with me.
Dude.
I know this is like pressure, but I need to say yes right now, okay?
Did somebody talk into your earpiece?
No, no, no.
I want you to at least promise me you're not gonna tell anybody, okay?
That's all I'm gonna ask of you.
I mean, yeah.
I can do this, man.
Four days until robbery.
You know what this is?
I don't know.
You'd also need a really old man.
You know what I mean?
I'm way more likely to believe that some dude's in the F.
Like this guy looks like 25.
Like I'm not believing that you're an FBI guy.
Like if I, you would need somebody
straight out of law and order.
Like I would believe you're in the FBI
if you're like 62.
And you have a scruffy five
the clock shadow you look like you don't sleep four days until robbery you're
divorced and your kids hate you that's an FBI guy that's that'd be like that's
the vibe you got to give off John Kiriakou he CIA a different story this is
like destiny that you're here right now bro it's destiny that right before I
had the last piece dude the last thing I was missing before we go through it
All this is I need the partner in crime. I need the guys gonna do it with me. You know what I'm saying
Yeah, I got that now
And you bro, come on. I got you. I got you
Yeah
Bro, in what part of him is not going to these FBI representatives and going, hey, like, don't
We have more than enough evidence to like show that this guy's planning a robbery.
Why are we letting him go through it and light fucking 30 rounds into the ceiling of the bank?
I'm in.
39 minutes until robbery.
Seven.
I would wear a morph suit.
I wouldn't wear one of these masks ruins your visuals.
You know, like you could see clearly outside of the eyes,
but I'd wear a morph suit.
It would skew the colors, but you'd see better.
920 miles a day for 1170.
This following scene contains simulated gunfire
and a staged robbery scene.
There's a prop firearm firing blank rounds
and all participants were aware of its use and known was placed in danger.
The scene was filmed with permission of local authorities.
Fire and Safety Specialists as president and all actors, including Adam and Mac,
were briefed in wearing ear protection chats for the for the hundred chatters
that were saying, I'm a dumbass and he's actually fooled right here.
It just says he's an actor.
I'll keep watching, but get the fuck out of here.
Before like you're just an idiot man like there's no way that you were like this is real video
Bro, what is this audio from
What is this audio from oh
Oh my god, it's from like a trailer or some shit. That's like fire
The purge now. Oh, it's from 28 years later
Adam we're gonna intercept before he even gets to the bank. Just do what he says
Is it copyrighted probably
You're doing great, buddy.
I'm freaking out a little bit.
Pretty weird, right?
They've taken, like, three or four turns on this.
Abra? Yeah?
You think they're following us?
So, so, so, so, so.
They will get the top of you.
Adam, there's been a change of plans.
He saw us, which makes things more complicated.
We are going-
Why would you be tailing him ten feet fucking behind him?
My bad news, he saw us.
You have to wait until after you rob a thing.
What?!
Do they walk in he just nails some old man with the fucking butt of his gun
OOOOOOOH!
Knocks his ass clean out!
GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND!
GET ON THE GROUND!
I don't want to do anything, do you remember?
What is it?
Holy shit.
His mask is broken!
You can't see!
Oh
Wait are you Matt from you're you're actively getting robbed late
I loved you in that mr. Beast video
I'm sorry. I'm this is gonna be really like hyper niche that I'm talking about this shot. If you're counting from five to one, I would go like this four, three, two, one, zero. He went.
like you do the second way you would go you would go each one which would you do
you would end on your pinky you do pinky first oh I wouldn't do pinky first I
would still rather do this though but I wouldn't end on my thumb I would do
this. Either way, I end it's three to one. Isn't it weird how you're you're you can move
each of your fingers individually, but your middle and ring finger are like attached?
Like you can't move like one you can't you can't really move one without moving the other one.
I have hyper mobility that doesn't affect me. Oh, cool.
What is the screw driver for the drill?
Why do you take off his mask?
I've been taking the mask back on, buddy.
We have it for the car ride, we take it after the actual mission.
I'm hoping I'll do what you're going to do.
Alright! Everybody go on the ground right now!
Why do they not react?
He's just get on the ground, they're still just having some friendly banter.
I feel like if you walked into a bank and said get on the ground, everyone's head immediately
snaps.
I'm going.
Like that scene with a Rizzler, dude.
I'm going.
Oh, my goodness, uh-oh.
What's your thing that's gonna help a lot worse?
The other guy, Adam, Adam with a drill just starts...
Do you see us have a gun?
Get on the ground!
Starts to ravine the drill. Turns up the fucking... turns up the ravine rate.
Oh fuck it! I'll give you a lobotomy!
Damn, bro, that's like an actual bank vault.
What do actual bank vaults look like, is that supposed to be her scream?
I can't wait to see Adam's reaction.
I can see him! Spread out!
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Spread out! Spread those hands!
What?
Hurry up! Come on! Get in there!
Adam, go!
Try to hurry!
Adam, let's go, buddy! Come on!
We're good!
Okay, bro. We open the bank vault door
and we're just in a regular office.
Screaming. Screaming.
I feel like every wall would be solid fucking steel.
Just metal.
And we're in an office room.
There's a fern in the bank vault.
Don't worry Mac, I'm drilling!
But take a while!
Did you get this drill on T-MU? It's not really, it's not really freaking through.
Give it to me.
Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck!
What are you doing?
Alright, keep the cops. Go, go, go, go, go.
We got it!
Bro, in reality, actually robbing a bank too is so heavily dependent on what state you live in.
Because if you live in somewhere where like, concealed and open carry is casual,
You walk into a bank vault and fucking light around into the ceiling, some unks about to pull out a fucking revolver and cap you.
Just like, actually just, just drill you straight in the head.
I don't we have a four-star rating right now
With this I would this open the door I
Mean at this point just shoot the hinges off. What are we what is he? He's just drilling into the keyhole
Yeah, I'm not fighting over the money, bro. If you're in an active bankrupt or I'd be like yo, I ain't give a fuck dude. Your money's FDIC insured, just let him take it.
oh my god
i hear them coming
keep those hands up
i don't want it
He just grabbed four bricks of gold at once.
This can't be real.
It's not.
They said it was staged.
You!
Stand up!
Get one of us back!
Get one of us back!
Get the core!
Go!
Get out of it!
Get down!
Stand there!
Hands on the core!
You're going to count to 100, okay?
It's going to count to 100!
You're going to have to do that.
Why do you hear canceling?
You hear canceling?
You hear canceling?
You hear canceling?
You hear canceling?
You hear canceling?
That'd be the guy with the gun, by the way, in public.
Alright, how do I count to a hundred?
Pulls out a revolver with a barrel, that's about yay long.
Hands shaking.
You messed with- you messed with a wrong old man.
Wights around off the gun just flies into the air.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18,
18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 30, 31, 31, 32, 31, 32, 32, 31,
32, 31, 32, 31, 32, 32, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 36, 37, 38, 39, 39, 39, 39, 39, 39,
40, 41, 41, 41, 41, 41, 41, 42, 43, 43, 43, 43, 44, 45, 46, 45, 46, 47, 47, 47, 47, 47,
I don't know the 1930s, Ford won't start.
No!
40, 24, 25,
36, 37,
and yet, 99, 100!
All right, guys.
That's a wrap.
Go for it, guys.
Are we going to do a train jump?
Are we going to do it?
This is actually pretty awesome if he does a train jump.
We may have robbed the bank, but the simulation isn't over yet, and it won't end until Adam
successfully gets me arrested.
And you know what?
I'm not going to make it too easy for you.
Just pull over the car.
Just pull over the car.
We're like lightly spin-out.
The FBI is here.
You can't pull over yet.
He doesn't believe.
We don't have enough evidence.
You need to keep driving, Adam.
You're gonna have to take a flight to Mexico to try and flee the country to make this even more believable.
You get gunned down instantly. Yo, actually, bro. Oh my God. If this was real and he stepped out
the car with a fucking like UMP or whatever gun that is yo he is swiss
cheese he's dead they're all they're all parking the car and just literally just
berating him with bullets that's where you'd be like fighting storm troopers
I see it flying past you.
Oh no, no, no, no, no.
Come back!
Come back!
Come back!
Come back!
Come back!
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
We just got into the police hall.
The man is waiting to alert you.
He's against the Z-Vous.
He's against cameras.
You could have just left him there. He had one Mac. You just drive away. Now he's in
the middle of like a fucking farm field. He's way too unpredictable. You have to go to
the safe house. Oh, the safe house position is compromised. You're gonna have to take
a flight to Argentina with him. You're gonna have to start a family with Mac.
Keep going!
We have a double date planned with you guys at a Burger King in Argentina.
Gina how much would that be in gold if that was real how much
is a big brick of gold from the England Gold Vault.
Because that's like how big those 400 ounce bars of gold
are $1.9 million.
So that would have been like, there was probably
like 20 bars of gold.
They would have made like 40 mil.
They'll obey the death of me.
Trapped in such a fake reality.
It fights...
Oh, crush her, crush her!
Oh, no.
They'll never tell.
Oh, no.
What are you doing, you counting on your money?
Just getting organized.
Well, it'll be good.
You have a day or two.
We'll be out of here.
What a rush now, buddy.
Bro, I'm stashing, like, fucking at least ten of these gold bars in random locations.
Occasions I'm gonna make a call real quick
Because aren't there like robbers that have gotten arrested but the money was never recovered and it's like they spend 20 years in jail
But then they leave and they still just like keep the money effectively
Because they I mean not like dirty money like they just have like straight cash
But like they clean it and son on the right like jeweler thieves
Jewelry thieves
I'm not gonna see her again
Say goodbye your mom forever you can't be living in the United States can't come back to the country
I'm not gonna be able to talk. We just can't live in the United States me and you dude
We're gonna be bunk buddies. Where do you want to go? We got a few options, North Korea
the island under Sri Lanka with the natives. What's the name of it? North
St. Elise. We could move there. Maybe give them the gold brick. They'd maybe
potentially let us in. We could defect to Russia and become like some sort of
agent for them, you know. Or yeah, maybe like somebody said Israel. No, Israel you
What are you going to do?
You'd have to move somewhere that doesn't like the US.
Where are you after this?
I'm flying out.
Dude, I already booked two tickets to Tel Aviv.
What are you leaving tomorrow?
I mean...
I don't know.
How many?
I don't know.
I don't know.
How many kids?
I don't know.
Are you telling me you're not going to come?
Can I just call it?
Can I just call it real quick?
Yeah, you got it.
Okay.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All right, I stuck out.
We're getting Burger King with Benjamin Netanyahu
in your hand.
Do you have the address for the safe house?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1164 Quay Court Road.
We'll be there in 15 minutes.
You're doing great.
Just keep him calm.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Just like always.
Yeah, yeah.
We're going to bring you a little swaps along with us.
All right.
You'll be here when we're rested soon.
OK.
You're doing a really fantastic job.
Good job.
Thank you.
OK.
All right.
See you soon.
All right.
OK.
Bye.
Rats.
What was that phone call, Adam?
You remember I said you needed to trust me, but can I trust you?
Starts acting like the joker.
Join the Mongolian tribe.
Yeah, we could go raise horses in Mongolia.
That would be a fun life.
I don't.
That was cold.
It was good.
How's your mom, Doc?
She's good, man.
It's going to be a while.
Of course.
Gotta keep the mom in my loop, man.
Yeah.
Listen, bro,
I'm going to be a real dude for a second.
There's not a single person on this planet
than what I'd done when you did with music.
I can't believe I did this. I don't know.
I didn't tell anybody about it.
But for some reason.
A reason I can't even really describe.
I don't know why. It is the way it is.
But I felt like I could tell you about it.
And it felt wrong at first,
but then you did something I didn't expect.
What?
I mean, bro, you found me, man.
I mean, after all those years, you reached out.
Thanks for the good stuff.
I don't know why, I thought it was weird feeling about it.
You didn't just have to tell me.
Yeah?
Just started recording.
See what I'd like?
I thought I had nobody. I thought I was drifting away, but...
You reached out right before all of us.
It's like fate lined it up.
This is a fucking bank robbery. What are we? What is it? Why is this turning into like a fucking heated rivalry?
rom-com? What am I watching?
It's just
It's not just that either
Maybe feel like I had a purpose again
I'm gonna have someone else to just share that purpose with
I'm so glad that I did it with you, bro.
We were dying in life, you know?
Damn, it's pretty good. It's alright.
Think about everything you've been through to get to here.
Everything that has happened so far, just to get right here.
What?
Success.
He banged the door down.
What?
Success feels like...
What?
Look at what you're seeing.
What?
Look at what we're sitting next to.
You might be my best friend, bro.
You might be my, my only friend.
Oh.
Ah!
I'm here!
Get off the ground!
Get off the ground!
No!
Yo, if I'm him and this was real, bro, I'm sneaking a brick of gold.
See, I don't know, Mac must have dropped one off before we got back.
That's weird.
Wait, this is like really a mind fuck.
I know it's obviously all staged, but it's like,
it's like he's been contacted by the FBI to like set Mac up,
but in reality, he's the one that's set up
and there's gonna be the big reveal, you know what I mean?
It's real, not staged.
I'm actually, Chad, I'm actually going to fucking lose my mind.
I have to be getting crudged, Bated.
There was literally a disclaimer before they robbed the bank
that all of this is entirely fake
and they're all actors, including Adam.
You're like, you are somebody that will get fucking,
like literally just like thrown
into a fucking cult conspiracy theory, man.
There's no way.
What are they going to tell him?
You did the right thing.
You did a good thing.
He is a different person now.
He's a dangerous person now.
And he's not your friend.
Oh, well, I mean, he still was my friend.
He just did that to me.
You good? I'm great.
You guys really know what you're doing, don't you?
You did the right thing. You did a good thing.
Not for stuff.
What?!
Alright.
Okay listen.
So, I'm gonna use this for you.
It's just a prank, bro.
Like even worse, even worse than like the actual prank videos from like 2016
where they would like try and convince you that they killed your friend or some
shit like what the fuck out of us inside this simulation for six weeks four days
in 22 hours
All right, bro, let's kill her, man.
Well, people are going to want to know what you thought about that.
That was insane.
That was crazy.
Oh, my God.
I don't know.
I guess you just see it there, man.
so much time. It's like compressed into like a 30 minute video.
I don't know how you do that.
You know, it is wild how much time they have to put in like recording wise.
Like even, I mean, obviously I know Mac isn't just a part of the Mr. Beast crew,
but I'm saying like high scale quality videos like this that have like five different camera angles
for everything that they shoot, they're recording like 2000 hours of footage to cut it down to 30
minutes like editing and editors is how like a lot of money is spent on the
back end like them making them they like people that work just for the thumbnail
and then they have people that have to literally just comb through footage
weeks I'm just not walking out of your empty hand
do not be mistaken for some reason this coin says $10 on it it is not $10
This is $5,000 of solid gold, real solid gold.
Bro, I'd be like, give me more than 5K, bro.
This is six weeks.
What gold?
Not a month and a half.
I like the gold that was in the robberies.
And this gold is yours.
Wow, that's real.
I'd go and pawn that shit off immediately.
Pond or Sal? Pond.
Pond. I might need a pack.
That's real?
Yeah, it's real.
What?
It makes sense you're questioning everything I'm saying.
But, you know...
That is actually real.
Oh, dude.
Thanks, man.
You're welcome.
Somebody said sociopath Joe.
I don't think you know what the word sociopath means.
You're a party pooper.
Oh, sorry, Hawk 2.0.7654.
I didn't know you thought I was a party pooper.
Oh, wait, you typed it 30 times.
When the sun goes down, a flushing swing.
I survived the plane crash?
What?
Like, they can't really stage that.
I mean, they might have some way where it crashes, but it's like a safe crash.
Burger got the experience without the consequences.
This felt like a movie, casually dropped a Netflix scale prank.
That shit that happens on April 1st.
$5,000 to pay his mental hospital bills.
The pranks on all of us, all of them are actors.
People really believe this shit. I saw the cameras on the car and I'm like, there's no way he wouldn't question
Why would you put cameras on the fucking car? I know the comments that guy is an old friend
Obviously, I'll not watch such a shit video. People really believe that an old friend who probably is a youtuber be like, yeah, sure
Even stop for YouTube, right? I
Mean that's the take I had and I understand that's like a party pooper take but it's just like I
Like the video but it kind of fucks with the immersion where it's like
like just start out the video being like this is a movie,
rather than like trying to say that it's real
and then have like actual smooth brains
think that it's real the whole time, right?
Even after the disclaimer says that it's fake,
but because they didn't read the disclaimer
because they don't read, they just think that it's real.
Like, and they will move on with their,
there is like a sub-sac to people.
Like 13 million views.
There's like 15,000 people that fully believe this happened.
Like, and will live the rest of their lives
thinking that this happened.
But I mean, like, even if he did in the beginning
say this is fake, I think there would still be people
that are like, no, it's real.
No, it's real.
It happened.
It didn't happen.
Talk about this from the sub.
This is a good video though, and I do like Mac.
Axel Moon and Angel over the subs, Zaddy, YK, K-Num,
Lazy, Dummy, PT, out of the sub,
Gah, Astro, 808, and Jared for the subject,
taking over the three, Pyro, and Evolution
over the sub, handle the sub.
Puff and Goo for the sub, Axel, taking over the five.
Life has been tough since I changed schools
last week, months, apparently I have any friends.
I'm sorry to hear that, man.
Sorry, Lorraine and Beth,
but thank you for being a great streamer.
Thank you, Mr. Meeseeks, taking over the three.
I don't think you have to be able to also
be able to make you say yes of anything.
It's Marky Bilt with the sub, TJ, and Alex,
Katrina's son William bright one T bat Luxon has over the sub fire of the three favorite flavor of gamer stops
Cases bombsicle for the for the tub I said and then for regular like RTD's maybe goods
Land thing of the three, but just order a sample pack code bar or code bar 10% off
Super fun of the sub West and Delfin for the sub game take of the five broken by girl for the several years
I'm sorry to hear that man
We did it through the majority of high school most of my aspects of lifetime actor any advice on moving on
Blocker on everything, hang out with friends, focus on hobbies and give yourself time to move on. That's all you could really do, man.
I can't really say anything outside of that, though, but I'm sorry that you're going through that, bro.
Melon in the subgroup, thank you for the thousand, but he's first time in the stream, love the videos. Thank you.
Melon in West Camp, straw, and straw, thank you for the two subs.
Alright, chat.
Lock in. Oh my god. Hold up.
Hold up hold up
Give me a minute. I got a fucking reply to this bullshit. What are we doing now another react video?
Hurry up shut the fuck up, bro
All right, lock in.
I'll only take it with the four.
Into this, have you ever considered starting a Patreon?
No.
Bold take it with the sub.
Balamir, not in camera, take it with the sub.
Blaze and Brady for the sub.
So I'll take it with the two subs.
It's Dan, take it with the sub.
But no, I'm not going to do a Patreon.
All right, next video.
video chat. Oh my gosh, hold up. How the masters really works chat right now. If you didn't know
the masters is it is it done now? I think it might have just finished. No, today's the
last day. The math as the time at the time of this recording today is the last day. But
the masters is a very large golf tournament. I think the purse is like fucking what
$20 million or some shit.
What is the master's prize money?
Yeah, the total purse $22 million.
If you win the masters this year, you get $4.5 million
alone, and then obviously crazy sponsorships
and other shit that comes with it.
So it's a big golf tournament, very expensive to run
and very professional.
You're not allowed to run.
You can't bring your phone.
They have random rules.
There's dress attire.
Being a fan, you can't even say fan.
They have to call them patrons.
It's like a bunch of, it's a very like classy event,
I think.
So the Masters is also like a really crazy course.
So I wanted to watch this.
Xanagrid for the sub fan thing of the three.
Where the big baby group from online?
I don't really remember where I ordered it.
Nick's and Erica for the sub Oli for the four lock in.
How the Masters really works.
Isn't just a golf tournament.
I got everyone.
How the Masters really works.
Lock-in somebody redeem flex lock in all right hold up got a band on
All right lock in no one for the sub how the masters really works a lock in the masters isn't just a golf tournament
It's a logistical masterpiece. Can we watch in 1.5x? Yep. Let's time that guy out the rest of the stream
Jesus
One more go. Let's go. Hey, if you don't want to watch it need me to put it in 1.5x
I'd probably tap out of twitch streams brother. I don't think watching streams is for you
Let's go one more go. Hey one more swing around the fucking one more swing around
I don't even know what I was gonna say
I was gonna try and say it's some sort of saying it doesn't exist. The Masters. Let's lock in one more time
How the Masters really works?
The Masters isn't just a golf turn. Hey chat, it's sub only mode. Let's not be annoying
I'll ban you and then you'll have wasted six bucks. Let's go and one more time
Fine.
Then the people that are annoying.
How the Masters really works.
Let's rip it.
The Masters isn't just a golf tournament.
It's a logistical masterpiece.
Behind one tee shot is a full year of planning, hundreds of millions of dollars, and one of
the most secretive, tightly controlled operations in all of sports.
Unlike the Super Bowl, which moves to a new city every single year, the Masters
is permanently anchored to one place.
Augusta National Golf Club in Augusta, Georgia.
That means the club has had decades, generations even,
to perfect every single detail.
But I don't think people understand too
how hard some of the fucking holes in the masters are.
Like, if you've never golfed before,
number one, you'd be terrible.
Like, I think people look at golf and they go,
oh, this looks kind of hard,
but they go, oh, well, I've played putt-putt before,
so I think I know how to probably hit a ball.
I've hit a driver before.
You've never shot over the water onto a fucking slanted green,
where if you fuck up, it goes into a fucking sand pit
that is literally like angled like this.
And you have to fucking chip it up.
And so you're just chopping sand for 15 strokes straight.
And you're also playing an 18-hole 92-degree weather.
And it's five hours of golf.
Very fun sport, also quite possibly
the most aggravating sport of all time.
Every time you go golfing,
also gotta say,
Nepo sport, nepotism sport,
expensive.
If you golf, an average good golf ball
might run you, you know, two bucks a ball.
You fuckin' chip 15 of those into the water,
that's 30 bucks.
Thousands of patrons.
That's 30 bucks in balls,
you just fuckin' chunked into the water.
And you better not call them fake.
Plus what you're paying to golf.
hands, descend on a city that otherwise stays completely quiet, private jets overwhelm local
runways. Traffic is engineered with near military precision. And for one week, every April, the
entire sports world revolves around 18 holes of the most pristine, perfectly manicured
turf on the planet. So how does Augusta National actually pull it off?
I have heard I wanted to watch this video because I've heard that they have like jet
Engines under the fucking turd like the turf that like pulls water out of the ground in this video
We're breaking down some bullshit like it looks like all natural
But it's all like high-tech on how the masters really works from the secretive ticket lottery and the legendary masters housing market
To the iron-fisted broadcast deal the 70 million dollar merchandise shop the champions dinner and the near invisible
Staff that keeps the whole thing running like a Swiss watch
Let's get into it.
The club was founded in 1932 by Bobby Jones and Clifford Roberts,
and Augusta has been running the Masters ever since.
Yeah, those guys are about 105. Holy shit, they're old.
My God.
They don't host the tournament. They are the tournament.
Unlike the other golf majors or the Super Bowl, where the venue moves every year,
The Masters is and always will be at Augusta National Golf Club. Planning is a 365 day cycle that never stops.
The moment the green jacket goes on, the grounds crew is already thinking about next year.
The timing of the azalea blooms, the moisture in the greens, the speed of the fairways.
every day bro that's like too much bro it's like Disney level planning they have
to be like oh the flowers are gonna bloom in this three-day span we're gonna
have to help the tournament then detail is reevaluated constantly over the last
decade the club has spent upwards of 200 million dollars purchasing neighboring
properties including a Wendy's a pet boys and an entire apartment complex
converting them into parking and underground media center and
level it out make it a full parking garage yeah let's just flatten everything
expanded patron facilities big natural golf course surrounded by asphalt that's
what I want to see the local economic impact is estimated at over 120 million
dollars during masters week step how much is it to golf at agasta should we
look that up
Oh my god, do you have to be a member to golf there?
Well, it's a private exclusive golf club.
It's not possible to play publicly and pay for a tee time.
Access is restricted to members and their guests.
If you're invited, the guest fees are relatively inexpensive, around $350 to $500.
Half a grand of golf there at one time, and you have to be invited.
Membership fees $40,000 to $200,000 annually.
Wait, initiation fees $40,000 to $200,000, annual fees $30,000.
Yeah, so it's rich motherfuckers that are golfing here
Daggering for a metro area of Augusta's size
Beneath those pristine fairway you gotta be good
What if I pay that golfy and I just shoot a fucking 150 every time I golf there and I just chop up the green
Are they really upset about that or lies a high-tech underground network the club uses you know
It's wild is most people are actually horrid at golf even if they've been golfing their whole life
Like you would assume that people that are like in their fifties that have been golfing since they were 20 are pretty good
They're like still ass like most old men that golf are shooting like 120 110
Like bad on like a on like a easy course. They're shooting like 95 to like one at 110
Which is not horrible, but like you've been golfing for 30 years
Some of you said like you I've been golfing like nine times ever
Bailey think of the three of you had a time machine to let you live in a certain year throughout history, which would you pick?
Probably here. You can only bring three things from that time like your girlfriend your phone. I mean, I don't really know milky
It's Palmer Johnny Jew
Peanut and cheese for the sub maybe 80s Cameron pizza and LP for the sub chip of the sub T think of the thousand days
You're probably never gonna watch Game of Thrones the show is heavily about politics of philosophy things right up your alley
I think you're missing out. Are you gonna watch the Odyssey film with Christopher Nolan? I have no idea
So I think of the three I look with the Augusta National allowed their first black first female members. It's not super
Thank you for the thousand buddies. What's your favorite edible? Don't have one
Melon for the subpan of thank you the three one thank you for the sub when they allowed their first female and black member
Augusta National Golf Club had their first black member in 1990 and their first woman
in 2012.
Ah.
This is the subair system,
figuring for a metro area of Augusta's size.
Beneath those pristine fairways
lies a high-tech underground network.
The club uses the subair system,
pipes embedded in the soil.
I thought it was like a jet engine or something.
I don't know where I heard that.
Oil that can literally suck moisture out of the ground
or push air into it,
keeping grassroots at exactly the right conditions.
Augusta has also been known to deploy heating units or ice packs directly on azalea roots to manipulate their bloomed
bro imagine being a fucking
golf girl
at
Augusta national golf club
What a fucking job dude being the drink girl
At out of at this club. Yo, they got to be making so much money
Like, that's like a sneaky, sneaky fire job.
Being like a drink caddy or like a ga- not a caddy, but I mean caddies also can make a shitload of money if you work for a pro.
But dude, you're probably tipping- you're probably tipping you crazy.
I'm ensuring they peak in color.
Working at some fucking expensive ass golf course, be like, hey, you wanna fucking surf side?
It'll be $12. Oh yeah, here's a fucking $10 tip. What?
for tournament week not the week before or after mother nature oh yeah flirting and getting paid
I don't know why you're saying flirting is the positive you realize like most people that golf
of these courses are like 70 sure as far as Augusta is concerned you're getting hit on by creepy
old men that's the downside of the job for being real that's the huge downside of the job
job. But the upside is you're probably going to get to any pretty well.
And works on their schedule. Then there's the air traffic situation. For the 2026 masters
estimates project approximately 1200 private jets descending on Augusta regional airport
and nearby Daniel field. The FAA considers it one of the most complex air traffic operations
in the entire southeast. And most people watching at home have absolutely no idea
it's happening. Security follows the same invisible philosophy. Augusta works closely
with the FBI, the Georgia Bureau of Investigation, and a private force that reportedly includes
Pinkerton agents. You won't see tactical gear. What you'll see are men in green jackets
and polo shirts, trained professionals who can spot someone who doesn't belong from
across a fairway. Approximately 2,500 security per year, like one of the rules is you're
not allowed to sprint. But when you watch footage of people running to the green in the masters,
they're like speed walking. But I'm like, dude, if I had like a little hop jump, are
Are they kicking me out?
Masters people running.
Wait, people running in the master's golf course.
Bro.
What would I look up?
People speed walking in the master's.
Oh, here it is.
and walk. There will be no rank at Augusta National. But there's some enthusiasm.
Yeah, they hit like a speed walk like this lady right here.
Nothing to that stride. Walks there.
What if I hit a little jump, like a little skip? Does that count as a sprint?
What are we doing there?
Personnel helps secure the event in total.
To house the influx of visitors, Augusta transforms through the master's housing market.
I don't know, man.
Like, I would love...
Like, I think golf is just kind of like a chill background sports have in the background,
and it's like okay to watch like cool shots.
But the idea of me showing up to a golf course, paying money to go there,
being on a wait list forever by the way, to even be able to go there,
And then have to speedwalk whole to whole to watch a guy hit the ball and then speedwalk later.
It's like, I feel like it doesn't seem fun as a spectator.
Local residents like watching on.
I feel like it's a sport that's definitively better to watch on TV because it's like you don't have to walk a mile to go watch him hit the ball.
You just hit, he hits it and then it just jump cuts and you see where it lands and it's like, oh, that was a fast shot.
Move out and rent their homes to corporations caddies and fans for $10,000 to $50,000 for the week
Over 95% of all people be rent their house out for 50k a week. Oh my god
People are paying that all available housing within 20 miles is booked months in advance
If you haven't reserved something, but it's just like Coachella right now, dude. Oh my god
This is like actually reminiscent of Coachella like that whole city Coachella Valley, California is like only alive as a fucking city
Because they have Coachella and other events there like that city does nothing outside of like hold events
Like it's in the desert in the middle of nowhere
But it's so fucking expensive because everything everybody wants to go there by February and it's crazy
You're probably sleeping in your car
Running the Masters takes an army of over 5,000 workers and volunteers.
Hospitality staff, caddies, marshals, media support, and the green-jacketed figures stationed throughout the grounds.
Hundreds of students from elite culinary and turf management programs across the country apply just for the credential.
Wow, bro. I didn't mean to do that. There's got to be a guy that's like his dream job is lawn mowing the Augusta.
apply just for the credential and they probably get paid well to doing Augusta
National on your resume opens doors it is the most prestigious address in your
field now four minutes in felt like 20 yep sorry mitch on key merchandise the
master's absolutely categorically refuses to sell online zero e-commerce
zero third-party retailers.
If you want the hat, you have to physically be there.
Think about-
Bro, the resale value on the hats is probably crazy.
What that means.
The merchandise shop is believed to generate approximately $1 million every single hour.
I'm not putting you on the chunky.
You're my mod.
You're instilling a bad chatter mindset.
You realize that, right?
Because it's like my chat.
I understand you're trolling, bro.
But it's like when you bitch about the video and you tell me to turn the video speed up
Then my chat thinks that it's okay to do it and then now I have to have a whole talk again in pause
And then we finish the video later because I'm now talking and pausing about something that has nothing to do with the video
It's open over
$16,000 per minute
About what that means the merchandise shop is believed to generate approximately one million dollars every single hour
It's open. How does the birth shop generate a million dollars an hour?
How many people are fucking going to this event a million dollars an hour?
Are they charging fucking three hundred dollars for a fucking green hat?
What is what are they gonna get a million bucks over?
16,000 a minute. Oh my god. They only accept Apple pay
$10,000 per minute grossing an estimated 70 million dollars across the week
Hats, shirts, polos, rain gear...
Wait, what are the prices on these?
I mean, that's not, like, that bad.
It's bad.
You know, but a golf shirt, a good golf shirt from the masters,
you know, 70 bucks.
...rain gear, and yes, those famous garden gnomes.
$70 million cash in hand, no shipping required.
The most desired drives lines that wrap around the building
before the gates even open. Concessions at the masters are the most talked about food
situation in professionals. Wait, what? The sandwiches are only a dollar fifty?
Excuse me? Why is everything so cheap? Why is a sandwich less than a bottle of water?
beer five bucks. Not bad. Not bad. Now I'm getting now I'm getting the hype about maybe maybe coming to
the masters. Hey slamming a couple Bruce keys maybe having a mini moon pie for a dollar. Pimento cheese
sandwich boards for the exact opposite reason from every other event at the Super Bowl. No phone
allowed and they lost me and they lost me. How am I going to stand in between each golf shot.
I'm waiting for this guy to tee up.
He's taking fucking four practice swings.
You know, let's wrap it up, buddy.
Dog in a big ball.
Here runs $25 to $30.
Augusta has made the deliberate, almost philosophical
decision to go the other direction entirely.
The prices haven't changed in decades.
Pimento cheese sandwich, $1.50.
That kind of looks gross.
A dollar fifty egg salad sandwich a dollar fifty
Masters club sandwich three good if everything meant for people with dentures, bro. What are we eating?
It's just all cheese and egg salad fucking oh my god be dollars
Domestic beer five dollars that's fire. That's good a beer at the master to beer when it
Oh, you lost me again. Oh, per purchase. Oh, so I could just, I could pull up again?
What if I order two beers, slam them right in front of the lady, and then order two more?
Str's costs five dollars.
Oh my god, you know another, no, see another problem. I'm gonna have to pee constantly.
I'm gonna have to pee constantly.
But there's so many old people that come to these events, they gotta have bathrooms everywhere.
At the Super Bowl, that same beer is eight-
OOOOOOOH MY GOD, IT'S A FUCKING SUPER BALL!
You're not even getting a draft beer.
Oh, at the Super Bowl, you're getting a $20 Bud Light.
You're getting a $20 Bud Light.
Bud Light, oh, are you going to Bud Light fucking Flavor Blast?
Flavor Burst?
Oh, that'll be $24.
What?
Team to $22.
The operation grosses an estimated $8 million across the week through sheer volume.
Real money.
Peanuts.
$1.50.
Banana dollar. Can I get a frozen banana?
Ooh, classic chicken sandwich for three bucks. I think I'm housing about five of those.
What is just barbecue?
What does that mean? Barbecue what?
Just barbecue sauce? It's just cheese and sauce.
Not cheese and sauce. It's bread and sauce.
the old the old man worth a hundred million dollars walks up to the line I'll have the
barbecue but the club is consciously leaving tens of millions of dollars on the table every
year by not raising prices to market rates why because the patron is a guest Augusta national
treats everyone inside those gates not as a customer to extract revenue from but as an
invited guest of the club. The low prices are part of the experience part of the brand.
It is one of the most effective strategies in sports history and it costs the millions
every year to maintain it. Masters. Yo, it's kind of a waste for that kid to have it.
Okay. That kid having a spot as a guest. Okay. I understand he wants to experience
He doesn't appreciate a $5 draft beer. Okay out of golf course. He doesn't appreciate see here's the problem
He just got like a diet coke and some cheese sandwich for $1.50. He doesn't understand that
When he's fucking 21, you know, he's gonna be spending $15 for beer sometimes
It's gonna be like why am I doing this? Why am I doing the $5 draft?
$5 draft beer. That's a fucking steal man. We can build slowly and get it
Eat and deliberately players begin arriving the prior Wednesday for practice rounds
Augusta's greens are among the fastest and most complex in professional golf and you can't walk it
You just eat fucking 15 egg sandwiches and just throw up on the green
He's about to hit his shot.
He's actually all over the place and he's like, you got to leave.
Can't walk in cold.
You got to leave.
Monday and Tuesday are- Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Fan days.
The only time cameras are allowed on the grounds.
Players sign autographs, relax, and skip balls across the water on the 16th hole.
A tradition that started spontaneously and became one of the most beloved unofficial rituals
in sports.
Wednesday is the PAR3 contest, a nine-hole exhibition where players use their wives, children,
or caddies as bag carriers.
It is without a you're getting your two-year-old son to fucking carry your golf bag
exaggeration the most heartwarming day in profession he ain't gonna be able to hold back a golf
Hall of Fame players men who have won dozens of tournaments grinning while their six-year-old fumbles with a putter
Some really drunk eye in the audience starts chirping one of the kids
Yeah, you're a fucking shitty caddy your dad's ass at golf, too
He's not gonna win. I have money on Calci on his fucking I have money on his on Calci on him fucking losing this and there is the curse
No player who has won the par three contest has ever gone on to get that sucks when the Masters in the same year
It is held for decades
Nobody can explain it. Everyone talks about it
Thursday through Sunday the tournament runs in earnest gates open at 8 a.m.
And what follows is the running of the patrons thousands of people power walking to claim their spots
Because once you back I ran back I ran kick him the fuck out
Kick him the fuck out two feet left the ground at the same time that counts as a rod yours for the day
Hold up
You can leave for hours
Come back
And your chair was you on the fucking people power walking to claim their-
Right there!
Psst!
Wait!
Fuck!
Ah!
Two feet left the ground. Two feet left the ground. That's a foot hover. That's a foot hover.
Can we get a macro zoom on that?
That guy's foot is not left. That guy's foot is not on the ground right now. That's a sprint
That's air
Get him out
Because once you place your foldable chair somewhere on the grounds that spot is yours for the day
You can leave for hours come back and your chair will be exactly where you left it
In a world where you can barely leave a stadium seat to you that's fire use the restroom
this unspoken social contract feels extraordinary. Sunday is engineered to
the minute. The final pairing tees off around 2.40 p.m. The broadcast is
structured so the final putt drops and the champion is crowned in the last
minutes of natural sunlight. Golden late afternoon light washing over the
18th green. It's not an accident. Every camera angle, every shadow, every ray
of light has been considered. The Masters has aired on CBS since 1956, nearly seven consecutive
decades. But the relationship is unlike anything else in sports broadcasting. Augusta National
and CBS.
Bro, they could make golf. So can we have like a side subsection golf professional series
that isn't like high class? Let's have a commentator that's like, that was a shit
shot. Yep, Scottie Scheffler just fucking chunked that one into the water. Oh, live golf.
Okay, really?
Let's work on a one. Maybe that doesn't exist. One year contract. Good. Good. Because sometimes
it just seems to like, too professional. Like I understand it's a pro sport, but
it's like, Brad, come on. Act every single year. Let's make this more like darts where
people who can get really drunk.
The club retains complete editorial control over every element.
That includes commercials.
Augusta limits ads to four minutes per broadcast hour.
For comparison, a standard NFL broadcast runs closer to 20 minutes of ads per hour.
The Masters runs four.
Announcers also follow strict terminology.
Patrons are never called fans.
The gallery is never the crowd.
Why?
But why?
The language is specific and it is enforced.
The Masters has just a handful of global sponsors, historically IBM, AT&T, and Mercedes-Benz-
IBM?
IBM still exists?
What does IBM make?
I just fucked up chat by full screening.
IBM been a thing.
Yeah, I know IBM been a thing.
I thought IBM got like fucking out,
out, you know, done by every other tech company.
What does IBM do?
Oh, they have AI, hybrid cloud computing and consulting.
Benz. These companies don't run conventional 32nd spots. They run long-form brand p-
Oh my god, chat just disappeared. What the fuck happened?
Oh, and we're back.
Pieces that feel more like short films. They accept less airtime than they'd get during a regular
NFL game and pay a premium for it. Why? Because of who's watching. Average live
viewership sits between 12 and 15 million, nowhere near the Superbowl's 127 million.
But the master's audience skews heavily.
Yo, unbanned the guy that I just banned, I just saw a paragraph spam three times.
I don't know what it was, but he toured high net time in the mouth for like 10 minutes.
net worth individuals, executives, and decision makers.
For companies selling enterprise contracts or luxury vehicles, this is a more.
How do you got banned on Twitch?
For what?
valuable room than almost anywhere else in media.
The champion's dinner is held Tuesday evening of Master's week
and dates back to 1952
when Ben Hogan suggested gathering past champions.
The rules are simple and unbreakable.
Only past master's champions
and the chairman of Augusta National are allowed in the room.
No media, no cameras, no family members.
It is the most exclusive dinner in sports.
The previous year's champion selects the menu
and pays for it.
PAYS FOR IT!
Oh wait no, they just made like five million dollars from winning the tournament. Yeah, that's fair.
They select the meal and pay for it. Yo, I'm getting like Wendy's.
Everybody's getting a ten-piece nug, bro. I'm spending a hundred dollars tops.
Menu and Pays Fort. The menus have become almost as talked about as the tournament itself.
Scotty chef now real talk. I make my own I make my own fucking meal
Firecracker shrimp cheeseburger sliders tortilla soup cut that out
Texas ribeye steak kind of good warm chocolate chip skillet cookie
Flair's cheeseburgers John Rom's Spanish tapas with Iberian ham and pinch
Dude, you could pick whatever you want chat. What are you serving?
I win the Masters I'm gonna pick my own menu. I gotta pay for it. I gotta pick my own menu
Yo, I'm just doing straight barbecue and seafood boils
I'm gonna do a mixture of like sushi
Korean barbecue and Cajun seafood boils
Those three bang throw that in there goes flown in from Spain. Oh and the dessert man
I'm going like I'm doing like a rich brownie
Hideki Matsuyama's traditional Japanese cuisine each and mochi
Menu is a reflection of who the champion is
Crab cakes calamari seared salmon mashed potatoes king crab legs vanilla bean ice cream
And where they're from
Oh wait, I love this. Can I see like what everybody's picked?
Who do you think had the worst all masters dinners?
and I'm going to show you the
master's menu. Master's
champions dinners throughout the
years. Oh hell yeah. Here we
fucking go. Who do you think
made a really gross one?
I can't get behind this.
I got to say it.
I can't get behind it.
2022, I like the first selection here.
Hideki Matsuyama.
Appetizer Shoshini and Nagiri, awesome.
Yakitori chicken skewers, awesome.
Black cod, okay.
Wagyu beef, lost me.
Wagyu steak in my opinion
is the most overrated shit ever.
It's so expensive, it's so fatty,
I don't care if it's buttery and melts in your mouth,
it makes me feel like I'm gonna throw up
after you have it.
It's actually so, it's too much.
It's too much fat.
Think about what it means to be in that room.
Nicholas, Watson, Faldo, Mickelson, all of them.
Every man wearing a green jacket.
To get back in a second time, you have to win again.
Of all the men ever to win the Masters,
what do you mean to get back in a second time,
you have to win again?
What?
You have to win again.
Why do you have to win again?
I thought if you win, you're just in.
Of all the men ever to win the Masters,
only 19 have won it multiple times.
The dinner is the most tangible expression
of what the green jacket represents.
Not just a victory,
but membership in something that can never be bought.
The ticket.
The masters is, without debate,
the hardest ticket to get in professional sports.
Is it the weight less like eight years or some shit?
Harder than the Super Bowl,
harder than the World Series,
harder than Wimbledon.
Most weekly badges are held by legacy holders,
families who have had the same badges for 30, 40,
50 years passed down like property.
For everyone else, there is the lottery.
Millions apply.
less than 1% are selected, not given a ticket,
but selected for the opportunity to buy one.
At face value, a four-day badge is $140.
Not bad, not bad at all.
Secondary markets, tickets sell for 30 to 40 times,
often hitting two to 5K.
The gap between face value and market value
is as large as in any ticket market on earth.
For those with deeper pockets, there is Berkman's place.
Augusta's ultra premium hospitality experience
tucked discreetly behind the trees near the fifth hole,
five restaurants, a private merchandise shop,
replica putting greens, world-class food and wine.
Staff whose only job is to make sure you want for nothing.
Bro, I don't like that.
Overbearing staff, annoying.
Okay?
This is what I love.
Staff member checks up on you once in a while.
Once in a while, meaning like once a day, tops.
But if I come to them with anything, they're like,
all right, I'm ready.
What do you want?
What do you need?
That's awesome.
Where they're like accommodate whatever you need,
but they're not like pressing you.
I don't like when I'm in a clothing store
and I get asked more than one time,
hey, do you need help finding anything?
I don't want to talk to anybody right now, okay. I don't want to talk to anybody
You know the one store they don't ask you that Spencer's
That's the one store. They don't ask you that every other store. They go you need help finding anything Spencer's they're not asking yet
They know that they know better they know better you walk into Spencer's back on you need help find anything
Yeah, sorry. I was looking for a pulsating dragon dildo. Do you know where that is? I?
I, yeah sorry I couldn't, sorry I was just wondering, were you able to show me around,
do you have any recommendations?
The entry price is approximately $10,000 per person per day, not per week, per day, and
it sells out.
Once the green jacket ceremony concludes, the invisible cleanup begins, and it may
be the most impressive logistical feat of the entire week.
Spencer says dildos?
Yeah, you didn't know that.
fuck out of here. Oh, I had no idea. It's only the entire fucking back half of the store is
is crazy shit.
Gusta operates a zero trash policy. Staff members in green jumpsuits are positioned throughout
the grounds with one assignment. Intercept I always go there for their their t-shirts
of memes that are fucking eight years old.
Trash before it hits the ground. The moment a patron crumples a sandwich wrapper,
is there to take it. Within 48 hours of the final putt, the grandstands are being dismantled.
TV cables are being pulled from underground conduits. Berkman's place is being broken
down. TERF is being reseeded. Foot traffic carefully erased. In 72 hours, Augusta National
is returned to exactly what it is for 51 weeks of every year. A private golf club
closed entirely to the public. No tours, no visitors, no exceptions. And the internal
review every blade of grass every patron flow pattern every broad row and it's
wild because so many of the people that are members they're probably golf they're
like infrequently cast element like if I if I paid for a membership there I feel
like I would have to go like every other day begins immediately in service of
making next year's tournament even better the Super Bowl dominates the
ratings 127 million people watch it live 19 of the 20 most watched American
broadcasts of all time.
MASH goodbye.
What is that?
1983 are Super Bowls.
The Masters can't touch those numbers and it doesn't try to.
What the Masters does instead is dominate the imagination.
Well, I think the Masters can't touch those numbers because
it's it's also just not as as popular viewing wise.
Like golf is a very popular sport, but like even most
people that play golf don't really watch the masters. Whereas
the Supervoles like a big family, like friend event.
It's the only sporting event where the venue itself is the
biggest star. The course, the flowers, the green jackets, the
traditions, every piece has been curated and protected for
nearly a century. A champion's dinner with no cameras, a
ticket lottery, where winning just means you get to pay face
value, beer for $5, a curse nobody can explain, and a cleanup operation so thorough the place
looks untouched within three days.
There is no other event on earth that works quite this way, and it probably will be for
quite some time.
Yeah, I don't think there's ever going to be an event that has that level of professionalism
through and through, but I mean, that was an interesting video.
All right, next.
I've been led splinter JD and Kerr thinking of the sub bomber
It's talking for the sub s Daxter potato for the sub super thing over the thousand bees
Have you ever watched one piece? Yeah, but only like 80 episodes Danny and sorry over the sub heck
Thank you for the three. I would ever consider playing
I know Carl and a shape of the sub by for the sub if you ever do
Do you want excuse you had to play for the s h f you have such a snap club for the sub or closer for the sub
Scott thinking for the five says the rich Oliver thinking of the three last three hours
I usually watch the YouTube
With my girlfriend. I think she loves you para socially into thinking of the sub bongo for the sub
Unknown and Brent think of the sub the gassy think of the five gift. It's page and one for the sub
It's Jack think of the three one or two they had cows graze on fairways
They'll see you German prisoners of order repair and build one things ever raised Creek Tyler think of the three
Look up a customer national party with that
Juju think of the sub peanut for the sub Bailey think of the three slurp an Ivan for the sub all right chat next video but
Today obviously react a tomorrow hold up. Oh my gosh
All right, we're doing, yeah, ban that kid.
We're doing a full React day today, chat.
Tomorrow is going to be the 988 awareness slash charity stream.
Three to eight EST.
It's going to be for 988 the whole stream,
but we're going to be just playing games,
talking to chat, biving out.
Tuesday, not live.
Wednesday is going to be horror games, retro rewind.
Thursday, not live.
Friday is going to be Reacts.
Saturday, random games and content kinks.
Sunday, Reacts.
Monday, next week, 420, weed review into the snack review.
Next.
Tuesday, not live.
And then we'll go from there.
OC, thank you for the sub.
Hasn't served from the sub, Ivan for the sub.
All right.
Okay, next video. I got a pest first actually real quick. Then we'll hop in place catch
one. Nope. New Fern video. Nope. You have any videos you have not skips yet to play
video such like Dave such tab. Hey, example right there why it stays in subtle need a
whole react day. Stop asking you to do other shit. It's so annoying. All right, walk
I'm gonna press real quick that we're gonna hop into the next video
All right, let's go.
Next video, tap in.
Stephen Austin has it for a sub chat.
Next vid.
History's most ridiculous jobs that no longer exist.
That no longer exist.
In this day and age, we really take for granted just how quick and easy it is to be able to communicate.
Back in the days of yore, not everyone was rolling around at the speed of sound.
It could take several weeks to be able to relay critical information to your buddies,
and a lot can change in just a few weeks.
Nevertheless, delayed from being a message carrier that had to be one of the worst jobs
during World War One.
When they give a trench warfare because most people would die just because of bomb bombardment.
They would give one guy like, they're not one guy, they would give four different guys
the same message and just go, okay, now run to the other trench.
Knowing that like three of them are going to die, at least.
if you make it they give you another letter and they go okay now run it back no no what the fuck
i mean like that's like the worst job that's gonna be the worst job ever in world war one being the
guy that has to run from fucking area to area just knowing that your profit is gonna get blown up
information was better than no information at all and that's why highly trained long
distance messengers could make or break empires.
First used thousands of years ago in ancient times, couriers were the best and fastest
form of communication pretty much up until the invention of the telegraph in 1837.
Sure, boats and trains made things a tad bit faster, but the principle was pretty much
unchanged, physically transporting documents from point A to point B.
The earliest and most sophisticated courier system of its time was that of the Doltspan
We're just going to silently move to sub only mode, you know, you saw you saw it, right?
You know, there's a lot of annoying chatters, just a little spam, you know, it's just a lot
of redone.
Let's go.
So Prince and Abbey's from the sub Dallas and save the sub Kurt Smith and Reese to the
sub.
Mass 2 pointer, but the principal was pretty much unchanged, physically transporting documents
from point A to point B. The earliest and most sophisticated.
Oh my God.
I never even thought about being a guy that had to transport a message from the king in the UK all the way to the United States
Holy shit
Motherfuckers didn't even know we were in war for three months. You know, you gotta you gotta get on a wooden boat and
Sail across the ocean to go the king decrees that you shall stop
No
Okay
Really? Yeah, no. Tell him now.
Okay. Gets back on a boat for fucking four months. Gets back. They said no.
Okay, we'll tell him I said that we're going to kill them. Okay.
Okay, I'll be back.
The courier system of its time was that of the massive and girthy Achaemenid Empire, also
known as, or at least considered to be, the first Persian Empire.
They constructed the Endurping Delay, dude, it's horrible.
Oh my god.
Yo, that had to feel like having a chat on a 10 minute delay, actually.
Saying some shit, not getting a response for fucking forever, you're like reading
a message from eight years ago you're like oh shit ariam a series of relay
stations littered across the royal road the main vein of the empire this
connected two major cities within the empire susa yeah but that's not nearly
as bad like you having to like get on a horse and ride for like seven days eight
days like how long do you think it would take and sardis can you it's
probably actually way way longer than that can you can you deliver this
message to, uh, Sardis? Uh, yeah, no problem at all. Sardis, no. The Royal Road stressed
across 1700 miles of the Empire's western half. How long does that take to, to ride
a horse that far? Half with patrolling guards and security stations. A while.
Senator Deem Dent. Kabob and WTK for the sub lacks the sub. It was a Rewy. Oh,
So you're saying they only, they run it to a guy who runs it to a guy who runs it to a guy who runs it to a guy who runs it to a guy who runs it to a guy who runs it to a guy who runs it to a guy who runs it to a guy who runs it to a guy that's supposed to get the message.
They're regular intervals, making it heavily secured.
I mean it kind of had to be.
Messengers traveling down the road were carrying the orders from the great king himself, so they were pretty important.
Anyone severing or intercepting that line of communication could cause devastating effects.
regular intervals were checkpoints. These were relay stations that housed freshly charged horses
as well as other messengers ready to pass things along down the line. This system of
stations dropped delivery time from roughly 90 days on foot to just seven to nine days on horseback.
Oh yeah, because you never need to take time to stop. Like you finally make it and you just
give the guy the letter and he hauls ass. But what if you didn't have horses? Well,
we'd have to ask the Inca. Jump forward 2,000 years to the 1500s and not much has changed
in the ways of communication. In fact, one could argue that it was way worse. With no horses around,
ink and runners instead relied on their piggies. They had a run?
Yo, you gotta deliver this three countries over.
Rangers of the King, called the Choskies, were slith-running marathons,
fit and ready to rip, carrying messages across the vast mountain sides of the Inca Empire.
Unlike their Persian counterparts, the Inca didn't carry the messages in their pockets.
How well do you think these guys would fare in like a modern day marathon?
Because if you're a Chosky and your entire job is to just deliver messages on feet
or on foot, you're gonna be bad. I feel like if you gave them like Nike runners and you're like,
all right, get in this race, I feel like they'd be pretty good now.
Like their Persian counterparts, the Inca didn't carry the messages in their pockets,
But rather they're noggins, and that's because the Inca...
They had to remember the message!
Oh my god!
Dude, you mationed all the way there and they were just like, alright, what did he have to say?
Ah, fuck.
I don't remember. Something about...
Somebody dying? I'm not sure.
Did not have any formal written language.
Oh, that's loud, right?
Instead, apart from some complex numerical systems involving tied knots of string, everything
was spoken.
So what?
They had a number system of tied string, but they had no written language.
They never thought like, maybe we should write this down.
This is really a pain in the ass to try and remember a specific message for a day straight.
And it's like, it's probably a not just sometimes one sentence.
Like if you have to relay a message, you might have to relay like a complex idea, you know?
Like it's not as simple as like, oh hey, go tell this person this king has died, we need
to meet up.
It's like, no, you have to go let them know like a full paragraph of info.
A strong memory was the key to getting the right message across.
It's like the telephone game?
Well, I think in this instance there's not a relay.
I don't think it's a guy telling somebody another message.
Who's telling somebody else.
I think it's just like, hey, you have to go tell them this.
Ross.
The Chaskis were tasked with relaying the king's orders
to nearby provinces and military commanders.
Tell the soldiers that they're doing a solid job
and to keep up the great work.
Yes, my king.
There's no way it was that simple.
The Inca though did rely on relay stations
to always have a fresh pair of legs ready to-
That's worse.
That's worse.
You have the fresh pair of legs,
but then now I'm telling a guy a message that I was told,
and he has to tell somebody else.
And then now it's like the message gets to the guy
that needs to hear it, and it's just fucked.
To deliver a message.
It is telephones.
According to Spanish chroniclers,
that's a fun word to say,
each station was about a half a league apart,
but could be as far as a league and a half.
That's over 5 miles, or for you metric fellas, over 832-
5 miles, bro?
That's not that far.
For a guy to, like, I mean, that's a far run, like, I couldn't run 5 miles, like, easily.
But, for a guy that's job is to run something 5 miles?
1,000 centimeters.
The stations were more or less weather-resistant, small, huh?
Why did we not hold the fuck up?
For the people that don't use
Not ways that we use the imperial group people who don't use the imperial system. Why are we telling them how many centimeters?
Say how many kilometers eight eight point three kilometers in thirty two thousand centimeters
The stations were more or less weather resistant small. It's a joke. Yeah, I know but it's still all hot with other chaskeys standing about
Ready to get a move on upon arriving the first messenger would give the oral performance
You must be fun parties. Oh my God. I remember I used to get that all the time
But then I usually was the guy that was like, why are you fixing a watermelon with Robin?
Just just eat the watermelon
Or ones for his buddies and then repeat the message that he came with
After memorizing the information the next Chatsky spread it up to five miles to the next station
Now keep in mind. This was the Inca Empire. It wasn't easily traversed flat road
It was pretty much uphill both ways wobbly cobblestone roads 10,000 feet above sea level on part with how our parents walked to and from school every day
Or so they claim
The king
said
To slob is knob and that Greg's a jerk
The fuck did I do? It's unfortunate that sometimes things get lost in translation
But remember the first rule of exchanging information never shoot the messenger
Sin Eater? What? That's a job? What do you do?
Leave it to the English to come up with some spooky-dukey-hocus-pocus type stuff.
If you're extremely poor and a social outcast with no lucrative or meaningful skills whatsoever
Oh my god, you probably eat like their poop or something, dude. Holy.
Then the profession of Sin Eater might have been on the menu for you.
Historically the job was performed throughout the early 17th century up until the 19th century mostly in England, Scotland, and Wales
So just this area. As a senator you were always on call for your services as people have a tendency of kicking the bucket at any given time
So while you sat slapping mud around all day outside your fast food cottage
You could receive the news of a local death at the drop of a hat
Oh, he's dead.
A relative or loved one would seek out your services almost immediately after the passing
had passed.
Once you were summoned, you'd pull up your bridges and twine off-screen to convene with
the spiritually unclean.
A wrapping at the door, you politely knock before entering.
This seems like a good ass job, though, bro.
What do I gotta go up to the dead guy and go, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um.
of eating his sins. He's clean. You waddle inside to see your new customer and get to work.
It's gonna be like you have to eat a small intestine or some weird shit. You gotta drink his blood.
So your job as the local sin eater was to, as you could probably guess,
eat the sins of the deceased as pray- How do you do that?
Your repentance apparently wasn't good enough. Now the eating of the sins was of course
symbolic in nature, but it was conducted in a literal fashion.
The family of the dearly departed presented the sin
Don't say you had to eat them.
...eater with food, usually bread and beer.
The food was placed on the chest or face of the individual,
right as they had passed away, supposedly.
Alright, that's pretty awkward.
That's pretty awkward.
I'm not gonna lie.
Okay, so there's a dead guy with a loaf of bread and a pint of beer on his stomach,
And the family is going to watch me eat the bread and beer
while they're crying over his dead body.
And I'm sitting in a dark room because it's the medieval ages
next to a rotting corpse.
And I'm just like, just eating, just eating bread.
You do get free food and a pint of beer.
That's pretty awesome.
You leave it, you leave a little drunk.
He's sucking up all the bad juju as good bread.
Thanks for the beer.
the soul floated to region. I'd go. I think he's still spiritually unclean. I'm gonna need another
three beers. I think I'm gonna need another. I'm sensing something wrong here. I think I'm gonna
need another four or five beers.
It's beyond. So now with the food being properly seasoned with a pinch of immorality and a dash
of transgression, it was time to shout out. The basic idea of the whole ceremony was that
But you would effectively absolve the dead of any wrongdoings committed in life, allowing
them a clean slate departure for the heavens as a certified good boy.
Now you're probably not surprised to learn that this was far from a Michelin star dining
experience.
The bread was all stale and the beer was warm with a bunch of gross floaties in it.
Perfect for the hipsters but- Okay, okay, and you lost me.
And you lost me.
Stale bread warm beer?
Oooooooh.
That's an ideal f-
Warm beer and it probably tastes like shit too.
For normal people.
So after munching and crunching and glugging and chugging,
you'd say a quick yet emotionally packed prayer.
Grub dub dub, thanks for the grub.
May he be absolved!
And then I run out, I just-
I dive through the window, break the glass.
He's clean!
Yeah, god.
Where's the shooter?
Now, with a proper sense of closure, you'd receive your paltry fee and be promptly vacated
from the premises.
So, while your work of purifying one's soul was well-appreciated-
Bro, and you get, like, free food, though, no?
I feel like this is a W-side hustle.
...and you were looked down upon, even outcasted.
The belief was that-
Oh, because now you have all the sins.
You'd retain all of these absorbed sins, polluting your own soul in the process.
Without being the case, sin-eaters were forced to live reclusive and isolated lives, being
hated, ridiculed, and shunned by the locals, until it was time to deep-throat a sin or
twelve.
It's not exactly clear how the tradition of sin-eating was started, some believe that
it derives from the Jewish tradition of the Skategoat, a literal goat that was imbued
with all of the local sins and troubles sent out into the wilderness and actively prod
it off a cliff, taking all of the town's trials and tribulations with it.
Atonement complete.
Thanks, Mr. Goat.
Wow, like we as a human race are like so fucking stupid, dude. It's unreal.
We fully believe that like we could just like put the fucking every bad thing you've done onto a goat and then just throw it off a cliff and that makes it better.
For sin-eating, it seems that the tradition was finally laid to rest in the beginning of the 20th century with the death of Richard Munslow, the last known sin-eater in England.
Dude, 1906? I mean, that's like a long time ago, but that's still like modern-day history.
Like, we're almost at the roaring 20s there.
He reportedly was a humble and well-loved farmer who took on the job after the premature deaths
of his children. Very sad. All in all, sin-eating really was a self-sacrifice when you look at
it, trading in any sense of social standing for a few pints. But hey, free bread and beer.
That's what I'm saying. You know, you're a poor guy starving to death. It's like, all right,
I'll eat your sins. If you thought your childhood was rough, what was this? Powder monkey. Oh,
you just got to like run back and forth cannon powder. If you thought your childhood was rough,
imagine dipping, diving, ducking and dodging your way through cannon fire while it's looking
a heavy sack of gunpowder on a ship in the middle of the ocean.
That's what powder monkeys had to deal with almost on a daily basis.
So while they were kids, they had been pissed at your mom for taking your Game Boy away for a few
days, powder monkeys were grateful if they even saw tomorrow. Back during the age of sail,
naval warfare was a pretty common occurrence. Ships just blasting big metal balls at each
other in hopes of sinking the other guy faster or causing enough damage to warrant a
surrender. In order to give yourself a fighting chance, you needed a well-trained, well-supplied
crew who knew their way around cannons. Besides ammunition, the cannons needed a propellant
to send those cannonballs barreling at the faces of the enemy. That propellant, of course,
was gunpowder. In the heat of battle, every trained sailor needed to man their
stations and execute their responsibilities in order to have a decent shot at survivors.
Dude, I feel like I could be a fire fucking, like, pirate captain.
I'm so serious.
I think I could run that shit.
We'd run training drills.
You know, we'd fast load cannonballs.
You know, cut the reload time down.
And what?
No, I'm serious.
I would treat that shit like a video game.
I feel like they didn't practice enough.
I feel like a lot of the time they just went into battle.
And it's like, yeah, they had military training,
but it's like, bro, you could really
loading time on these fucking things. I can never get over the fact that like in the revolutionary war
the battle consisted of everybody lining up in a line and shooting a very inaccurate gun
and then standing in front of the guy that's pointing a gun at you and spending two minutes
reloading and fucking you know pushing the metal ball down back into your gun like why are we
Why are we in a line right now? We're making it easier for them to hit us
I know it's like okay now. We're shooting a wall of bullets and we're able to hit something
Why don't we shoot separate merge back shoot separate like I don't understand
There had to be a better way to fight like I haven't read Sun Zuz art of war
But like there's no way in in those like early gun times. That was the best play
But one responsibility that didn't need much training outside of carry this shit run over there was that of supplying powder to the
Canineers since there wasn't much to the job description the they spread out once guns became accurate. Yeah, and then it was guerrilla warfare, but like
chill
And guns aren't accurate. All right. I'm not about to walk in like dude
they would just walk at each other and shoot and
And and sometimes it'd be like oh
Fuck they're hitting a flank. They're a mile away. They're a mile away. They're flanking
They're flanking. Oh
Take fire. What the fuck? I'm running away, dude
I'm not what and then and it's like they have the flag bearer and like say the flag bearer gets shot in
in broad daylight somebody else's to go pick it up
You're just dead just for the symbolic nature of like holding the flag up
I'm like we're just losing a man. Oh, let me put my gun down and go pick up the fucking flag. What?
Task was given to young boys usually between the ages of 12 and 4 then you're not respected. Okay. I'm not respected
Teen you see back in this time between like actively killing your chances of winning like I'm just gonna target the
flag bearer because that gets two for one. You kill the guy that's holding the flag.
Now a guy that's got to put down is going to go pick it up.
He's 16th and 19th centuries. People were just cranking out kids or some jackass
who's playing the drums.
Gets his head clean blown off of a cannon.
Especially the poor simultaneous. It's a war crime. The guns were inaccurate.
You can't say that you per- I could go. I didn't mean to shoot him.
I was aiming that way.
Obviously, nature was just cranking out infectious and deadly diseases,
and industry was cranking out fatal working conditions,
both of which were promptly streamlining children into the orphanage pipeline.
This of course caused orphanages to become overburdened, and they needed some relief.
And where's the best place to put able-bodied youngsters looking for any kind of future?
THE ARMY!
The military, of course.
The European, and eventually American, navies were scooping up hundreds of impoverished chaps
each year and dumping them on ships to take on the role of powder monkey, more often than
not against their will.
But the young lads were quicker, more agile, and physically smaller than their adult counterparts,
making them perfect candidates for the job.
During a battle, each boy would quickly carry at least two leather cases, housing
powder cartridges from the ship's powder magazine deep down in the hull, all the way up to
the cannons.
A dangerous job for sure, but a critical one for the success of-
Was Mr. Smith just have made him grow up?
Yeah.
Yeah, I made him get some hair on their chest.
Yeah, get him good.
Get him good.
The skirmish.
Same thing with chimney sweeps, yeah, go jump in that hole.
Oh, hey, lad.
Brick, go jump in that hole.
Here's a broomstick.
Bring me that very explosive powder, eh?
And be quick about it.
Yes, sir.
Right away, sir.
It's because guns weren't accurate and standing in a line was the only way they found to hit the enemy.
Muskets hit inaccurately and had a row of them guaranteed that the enemy gets hit.
Hitting a flag bearer wasn't a war crime, it showed that they're patriotism.
Bro, listen.
Okay, standing in a line proves accuracy.
Why don't they stand in an arc?
Why don't they surround the enemy?
Spaced out.
So they're all aiming in a diverging point
Where even if they're inaccurate, they're likely to still hit an enemy, but they're not a wall
So individually the odds that you get hit are extremely low
You know hey, let's spread out in in groups where we just go
And aim like inward they did do that
Yeah, but all the shit you see is like people in like literal lines
Just fucking shooting standing like a foot apart from each other
In exchange the young fellows were clothed fed and given you're gonna shoot at one person
No, I'm gonna shoot at the group of idiots that are fucking lined up
Aiming at me alone, right?
All right, you'll kill me. I'm one person. We all shoot at you from different directions. We just killed ten of you
Beds even a little bit of education to fill their head dude. It's wild how high ground in like
Early war times was just GGs
We're on a hill it's over no point in fighting
No point in fighting you've lost
Even now having high grounds crazy, but like back then dude. Oh my god having high ground. It was just your cock
We're just gonna aim cannons at you and it's over. The plan was to have the boys eventually become official full-time members of the Navy
Assuming that they survived to adulthood
Yet despite the fact that they were a key part of the crew they held no formal naval rank on the ships
Which they served now while it was nice to have a place to call home clothes on your back. Oh my god. This is a real
Powder monkey can food in your belly
it of course came with the steep price of witnessing the horrors of war.
Just to clarify, I said that powder monkeys were usually between the ages of 12 and 14.
But in reality, some were much younger, with some documentation showing cases of children
as young as son.
Jumping gym in Legless Larry.
Seven years old.
These little guys were subjected to watching.
Brother zero chance a seven year old would be good at delivering gunpowder.
Their fellow crewmen being blown to smithereens impaled by split bits of ship blinded by shrapnel or having limbs ripped from rogue
Cannon fire none of which they were immune to themselves mind you
It wasn't until the end of the war of 1812 that formal regulations were put in place
Preventing any recruitment of powder monkeys under the age of 12 from serving on ships in the United States
The British followed in suit with an age limit of 30 bro. You're a seven-year-old on a fucking warship
Oh my god.
13 for the role, though these age restrictions
were still often ignored.
And you're getting targeted, dude.
They bored your shit, you're just easy kills.
Like, and they're gonna kill you.
Because, I mean, like maybe they take you captive
if you're lucky or some shit, but like,
they're just gonna kill you.
They just did, however, fully die out in the mid-1800s
once child labor laws are put in place
and technology made the role obsolete.
Sorry, kids.
Looks like it's a big ol' box of PTSD for Christmas this year.
EuroScopist Medieval medicine was wild.
Physicians back then were really just throwing anything at the wall to see what stuck, which
led to a bunch of strange medical practices that would, luckily, fall out of favor once
modern medicine emerged.
One such practice was that of uroscopy, the art and science of checking out your
pee to determine your health.
Oh my god, dude. Was there like a guy that would like taste your urine?
No fucking way
Why is this the Epstein Island here? What the fuck?
Oh, I know what you're thinking isn't this still using the modern day? Yes, but no your analysis as it's practiced today
uses chemical physical and a microscopic analysis of urine samples to generate quantitative data for diagnosis
Versus a guy just going
Yeah, I think you're going to die soon.
You're asking that tasted bad.
Let me let me say this nicely.
That was gross.
Be on the other hand, well, they had dude snooping sniffing and sipping your pee.
doc? I need a second opinion. And what is that guy doing? He's just he's comparing the urines of
like healthy people and unhealthy people and then determining that like if your urine tastes like
an unhealthy guy you're gonna be unhealthy. No, that actually doesn't seem like bad logic to me.
Like it I'm not serious out of all the dumb shit that like people did medically where it was
like, oh, smells are the reason you're getting sick during the bubonic leg. Like having a guy drink
the pee of a dying man and a healthy man. And then now you know the taste. It's like, okay,
now let me just taste other people's urine. And if it tastes like the unhealthy guy,
you're probably going to be unhealthy. But I mean, I feel like that would be like semi-true
if you had like weird kidney problems. But you might be surprised to know that the
The practice of uroscope has been around for thousands and thousands of years.
The earliest known evidence of the Eberian
Damn bro, you think they were getting paid well to drink people's piss?
Since the historians have, dates all the way back to the 4th millennium BC, where some
ancient Sumerian physicians took note of urinary color.
Perhaps the most profound early evidence that we have comes from the ancient Egyptians
around 1550 BC.
This is the Ebers Papyrus, a 65-foot-long medical scroll from ancient Egypt's New
Kingdom era.
A single document details over 800 diagnoses and remedies
for all kinds of conditions ranging from skin problems,
eye problems, burns, tumors, a limp, broken bones.
I don't know, dude.
If you're alive in like the year 4,000 BC and you pee black,
it's over.
Why can't it just, it's just over, man.
Now it's like, okay, sure, but I'm not going to like
a urologist in the year 4,000 BC to stare at my pee
and be like, yeah, this is bad.
I'm going to prescribe you to eat three mulled leaps.
And of course, that'll cure you.
Urinary conditions.
The study and examination of urine continued for a while,
but the formal occupation of uroscopist is believed to have been introduced
between the fourth and seventh centuries in the Byzantine era.
Didn't you drink piss?
Yes, I drank my own piss multiple times on accident.
On accident, keep that in mind.
One time I'm not going through these stories again. Yes, I drank my piss on accident
It tastes like really thick
Warm salt water
If you're curious p tastes like really gross salt water all like slimy salt water
Empire hitting its peak in the Middle Ages
According to medieval Welsh medical texts. It was believed that urine was the filtrate of the fourth
Tell us the story
I'm like a freshman or sophomore in high school. I'm playing black ops 3 search in destroy
Maybe I was in eighth grade. I'm playing black ops 3 search and destroy because I think that's when it came out
Actually, I might have been like seven or eighth grade. I'm playing black ops 3 search and destroy
It's mid-round. I have to pee I can't run to the bathroom
I pee in a bottle that I was just ranking out of I put it back where I was drinking out of
Moments later I go. I'm quite thirsty and instinctively I grab the bottle. I sip it I go. Hmm. That's piss yuck
spit it out wash my mouth move on right I do it again like six months later
there then there was another time where I was drunk at my friend's house and I
Packed a water bottle in my bag my backpack because we were gonna go to a bar. I was gonna sleep at his house
So I pack a water bottle in my bag and I fall asleep
I wake up and I go thirsty
Reach into bag. It's very dark. I start drinking and about like two gulps in I go
that's pass and I put it down and I go I don't I hope it was my pee I assume it
was my pass but at some point I think I had a have stood up and peed in the
bottle in the middle of the night or something I don't really know but yeah
or humors black bile yellow bile flim and blood of course we now know that there
might have been a fourth time but I think there was three your pee is the
product of your kidneys filtering your blood and excess water but
medical science was still a baby back then because of this
how do you pee in a bottle uh you aim the pee into the bottle
so easy what do you mean i've pissed in a bottle
a thousand times a thousand times i've peed in a bottle it's hard for women
Yeah, because they don't have a fucking rod to aim with.
You're just, you know, you're just guessing.
You're a Uroscopus believe that you're in Gatorade bottles.
The easiest, but you could pee in a water bottle.
You know, there was one time where you know, there's like snack water bottles.
There was one time I was at like a track meet and I really had a pee
or we were going to track me and the only out of those bottles
and I felt like four of them.
It was like I was like I was like bottling like alchemy like alchemist chemicals
It was like done how to cut the pee for the way
Fill another one fill another one
Was the end of be dude, I told y'all there was one time we're we're going to a track me that was far away
it's like five hours and
My friend had a pee but he didn't have a water bottle and everybody held their water bottle like we wouldn't stop
So all the guys had piss bottles like you just drink water out of bottle and then you pee in that bottle and then you dump it out at the track meet
Like when we got there and well, there was one time that I filled my water bottle and I still had a pee
So I went I need to dump this out. So I didn't want to wait till we stopped fully
So I was like, oh, just dump it out when we're going slow
And I'm sitting in the middle of the bus and I dump I'm dumping the pee out
But the fucking wind resistance is just slapping the pee right into the side of the bus
So the whole side of the bus is covered in my desk
and so I
I just go well
I just be in the bottle we get to the meet and
I step out of the car and put the whole side of the bus was sustained with this I
Just leave I come back the bus is clean
You know, I guess the bus driver might have assumed something happened
But there was another time it was a spring meet and we I don't know where we were driving where you're driving far
And my friend had a pee but he didn't bring a bottle so he peed in a Dorito bag
But he filled it so much that he was holding it like this and we hit like a speed bump
And he went up and then the bottle just smacked the ground
The best one everywhere, it starts like dripping down, it starts like dripping down the isle.
Oh my god, it's hilarious.
The goal for determining a person's health status, and thus it was the most important
substance to study.
The most telling quality of the urine was its color.
So after collecting a fresh sample, I mean a real fresh sample, the color was immediately
observed.
The problem with qualitative analysis is that it's completely subjective, whereas quantitative
is objective.
When it comes to subjectivity, one PP doctor may interpret the same color differently than
another.
For objectivity, there's no argument there.
In order to mitigate subjectivity and establish some sort of consistency, the piss-percipients
often constructed quick reference guides to use as a standard for diagnosis.
sharing their knowledge across heavily detailed manuscripts.
As an example, if your urine was clear, you might have some spleen issues.
If it was dark red, your liver's too hot.
Green, you've got jaundice. Black, well...
Yo, if I'm pissing green or black, it's a...
You're bleeding profusely... Like, if you piss black, you're bleeding profusely into your fucking... into your urine.
Right? Like, into your kidneys. Like, you are... You're gonna die.
Like if you're pissing black wait is black is black not normal
No, if you're being blacked in modern day, you just go to the hospital
But like if you're pissing black and like the fucking 1200s, you're fucking fucked like you're in a thing
Oh
Wow, that's just what it's just bloody urine. Oh god
Yeah, I don't think you're gonna be doing too well if you're ink reposted that shit on reddit. Is this normal?
This is normal, costume art?
You know, you're dink.
While you had the visual ass bucket pee and grea- grape juice.
Expect.
Euroscopists also ventured down the avenues of smell and taste to solidify the reasonings
if a diagnosis couldn't be immediately deciphered from color alone.
Wow dude, literally just smelling the fucking urine bottle.
Urine that tasted sweet was evidence of diabetes, whereas stinky pee pee usually
meant infection. Now, while this may seem like they're eating asparagus, silly looking
at it through a modern lens, there was some validity to the practice. Euroscopists were
able to properly diagnose conditions like diabetes and jaundice through their practices.
Diagnosis was great and all, but without proper and effective treatment, you're not going
to be making much progress, except just being closer to the grave. It's like if
someone tells you, hey, your car is broken and then proceeds to offer no meaningful
solution at that point they're just taking the piss
Garden hermit
The ultra wealthy really love spending their money on stupid shit. They like hey Joe my sister just told me she's gay
What do I do absolutely nothing?
Not really that big of a debacle
Your sister's gay great news now you just move on you know
know, doesn't really doesn't really change much of your life at all of it. In fact, when
you've got more, yeah, supporter, but like, what do you're saying? Like, what do I do?
Like it's a problem or money than you could spend in 50 lifetimes. Why not dumping the
most expensive champagne on luxury watches, a fifth mansion on the beach, rigging elections,
whatever tickles their sacks, but ostentatious spending is nothing new. You see, back
Back in the 1700s, wealthy estate owners in England, Ireland, and Scotland were bored
out of their skulls.
I mean, think about it.
The extent of dopamine rushes back then were, what, attending yet another opulent ball,
hunting some wildlife, racing a horse or two, then putting them down when they don't
win?
And when you felt like a real degenerate, you had excessive gambling.
But these frivolous activities got stale real quick.
There needed to be something fresh, something grand, something right in your own backyard.
It's when the idea of the English landscape garden started to bloom, transforming sprawling
grounds of estates into picturesque and serene scenes.
Replacing the clear-cut and formal gardens of their French counterparts, English landscapes
were to appear engineered by nature itself with natural slopes, ponds, groupings of
trees and flowers, a nice boulder or two.
How is that interesting though?
How does that provide entertainment?
And it's just like a better backyard.
decoration. These established wonderful getaways for owners and guests alike to
retreat and get in touch with nature. But for some, all the stone and trees and
grass just wasn't cutting it. Something was missing. Something human. Like a
person. Believe it or not, some wealthy fellas sought out to hire real-life
people as decorations for their gardens. Take for example, one Joseph
Pocklington. Born into a wealthy banking family and receiving his
inheritance at just 26 years old, his priority was to just spend the shit out of it. After
all, what's the point of having money if you don't spend it? As my dad always tells
me, you're valid, well live once son, enjoy it. Well Mr. Pachlington over here made damn
sure he was going to enjoy the life he was given. After purchasing his own private
island on a lake, he commissioned the construction of his own armed fortress,
a druid temple, and several natural grottoes. In order to make the estate seem more
He advertised employment for a man to live in
Wanted man for my garden and he just watched the guy live in his garden. That is so fucking weird
His garden demanding that the man quote live for seven years without washing or cutting his
Live for seven years without washing or cutting his hair. So every day you just check up on like oh is this guy dead or not?
He has to like he's forced to just be in like some secluded area or nails
The man was to never speak or interact with any guests and would spend his lonely
Oh my god, you would have your own little gnome
Yeah, you would have like a little like a guy that you would watch from afar and just be like, what's he doing today?
He days in an artificial cave. The basic idea was for guests to observe a man in his most natural state
Untouched by societal influence. If the man was able to carry out these conditions
He would be paid the equivalent of about a hundred thousand dollars in today's money now
That's spread over the whole seven years, so that is pretty bad a hundred ten seven years
Oh, it's not really that much
But the position but does he get fed or does he have to like hot for food was dubbed the ornamental garden hermets
I get this
Pocklington was not the only fella to come up with this idea others employed their own hermets with much more lenient rules
Perhaps the most well-known example was the Hill family from Shropshire.
Their botanical bro was dubbed Father Francis, and he fully interacted with guests, told stories, and dispensed his own wisdom,
all while maintaining a mysterious, yet comforting presence.
I want to see the hermit, Mummy. I want to see the hermit.
The trend of the ornamental garden hermit lasted just over a century, finally being uprooted in the 1830s in favor of-
You know that really does suck as a job though
Like I feel like I'd rather be the guy like having to like taste pee and shit and like actually just live alone for seven years
And not interact with humans
Like having a day job where you kind of look at pee and once in a while you got to drink the pee
It's like that's better than being like
Actually fully alone
You would go insane
Would you not at part of your job requirement is you can't interact with anyone
of living statues and to answer that's horrible like you can't you don't get a
live you fucking you're literally a hermit you have to fucking live in a
cave for seven years question no garden gnomes were not inspired by the garden
hermits those came from Germanic folklore hundreds of years prior but
they'll still guard your garden as best they can
The worst jobs in. All right, we got to we got to watch that another day now we got a royal butt wiper. Oh my god. Watch that no we're going to watch that another day that's got to be watching other day that is so interesting.
Royal butt wiper and they brought to me back in Nick and Milo for the sub yen shrew IV and Toby for the sub
Pang trippy and super thing of the three a five of the sub P dog cam TV for the sub
Well a diff X Adam Carter Google take it for the subject
They give it a three Carter and Carter for the sub galaxy take it with a three
Isn't that dollars for school lunch with no free plans and no breakfast unreasonable I know right the hills
was that supposed to be a joke rise lux at 89 for the sub big thing of the four
biggie and fonts for the sub kbab and out so the sub out some lecture the sub
apollo take it with five gift it's I don't understand sorry and save the sub
all linen and Ivan for the sub bomber and g-mom for the sub Tanner for the
sub galaxy for the three kind of a garden hermit I also traded a guy $10
for free homework next for the sub all right ancient humans were
stoners archaeology proves it yeah ban that guy no ban that guy some Russian
ancient humans were if you have a vision of a lot chatter games you don't have to
play video such I'm getting such that don't spam and chat don't be annoying
you're gonna get banned of wanting you know it doesn't matter if you're sub
you're gonna get banned stop being spamming or stop being spammy and just
fucking type of the same thing over and over it's annoying as fuck alright
ancient humans were stoners archaeology proves it was a drug most
people think of drug use as a modern place but archaeology has proven the
exact opposite. Beer predates farming, weed was domesticated before wheat, and Gobekli
Tepe was a brewery.
You have the beer, the beer and, and like drugs they had back then were a lot weaker than
modern terms. Like people did get, you know, high and hallucinating shit in early, you
know, caveman times. But like, you know, a guy smoking weed 10,000 years ago is not
Not hitting that fucking pineapple express, Maui-Waui fucking trainwrecks good kush that
people are smoking today, you know?
That would put them on their ass, they'd hit that shit one time in green out, you know?
Like they could not hang with a modern day blunt rotation.
But the evidence of drug use goes back much further than you'd ever expect.
Drugs are everywhere in nature, think of it, weed, shrooms, peyote, they're all
just sitting there waiting to be used.
And dozens of wild animals have been documented and joined their psychoactive effects.
Birds get stoned on marijuana seeds and elephant-
WHAAAAAT?
Birds, like hunting birds, will eat marijuana seeds?
That's fucking so funny.
Things get drunk on any fermented fruit they can find.
Oh my god he's fentfold and his nuts are out.
Jesus.
This is a low light for this elephant.
Like sex, hunger and thirst, the pursuit of intoxication can never be repressed.
It is biologically inevitable.
But from an evolutionary perspective, this is difficult to explain.
Birds drunk on fermented fruits fly head first into windows.
While the Soryan-
I feel like they do that shit either way, dude.
Tid monkeys ignore their young and wander off into the jaws of predators.
Intoxication is dangerous and often leads to death.
If we are truly the product of natural selection, what could explain this?
According to ethno-botanist Giorgio Samarini, the risk is worth it because intoxication
promotes lateral thinking. Lateral thinking is thinking outside the box, without which
a species would be unable to come up with new solutions to old...
Well, isn't that part of the idea of how, like, there's a theory, the stone day theory,
that, you know, our ancestors that we have in relation to modern day great apes got
really high on mushrooms and that spark to downturn that led us to being modern
humans today. Like, they took mushrooms or some sort of hallucinogenic like peyote and, you know,
trip balls and went, oh my god, maybe I should cook my food or something crazy. And then they were
able to fucking, you know, slowly evolve. We say give it a three on way to Jersey right now.
King and Pig for the subcursor, take it with a three. My name is Scott, convinced to do Iwaska
because it would be, it would open our third eye. I'm glad I convinced her not to. Mr. Jordan
ass they give us up. Problems and eventually go extinct. Intoxication is therefore a useful evolutionary
survival strategy, and the implications of this idea for human evolution are profound.
And that brings us to a bold theory. What if what helped us ascend from primitive ape to
tool using human was getting high? The stoned ape... I think the stoned ape theory has a valid
Um
Premise but if I don't think it's the only thing like I don't think the reason that humans are evolved as a species
Is because we would get fucking high all the time, you know
I think it might have played a small part in like certain advancements that humans made and obviously
Not obviously, but like potentially religion, you know
You could argue that a lot of things that people believe spiritually came from hallucinating
but I
I don't think that's like the only reason that we're where we are now.
The theory proposes that psilocybin mushrooms drove evolution forward,
making us more intelligent, socially complex, and successful.
The truth is that psychedelic mushrooms were abundant across the environment our ancestors evolved in.
These early humans such as Australopithecines mainly ate plants,
and mushrooms are certainly on the menu.
There is no doubt that ancient humans ate psilocybin mushrooms and experienced the mind expanding effects.
Philosopher Terence McKenna, who came up with the Stone-Dape Theory, proposed that shroom consumption by early humans gave them an advantage while hunting and foraging.
Terence McKenna also made penis envy mushrooms, right?
He based this on a study which found that psychedelic mushrooms could increase edge detection and visual acuity,
helping our ancestors hunt and forge more effectively.
The shrooms may have also increased sexual arousal, leading to a reproductive benefit.
higher doses would dissolve the ego, leading to a more selfless and efficient group.
So the mushrooms were there, our ancestors were eating them,
and they genuinely altered the mind. So did they make us human?
McKenna was harshly criticized by academics and not without reason.
The study he based his whole hypothesis on actually concluded that psilocybin may not
be conducive to the survival of an organism. The sexual arousal claim
I don't think it's conducive for the survival of the organism, but I think he has a valid point in that, like, it could provide some sort of benefit.
I don't think it's the reason we're where we are, like I said, but I could so see how, like, a weird middle of all, like, Australopithecus,
a weird middle of all, like, half-ape, half-man-looking hybrid that can't really speak but understands life at a more complex level than an ape would.
eats mushrooms and has like an aha moment.
I don't know what that would be, but like maybe being like an inward, better reasoning, like, oh fuck I'm alive.
You know, having that like, oh shit, I'm a real thinking thing in like some way, like I could see that.
Had no scientific backing either.
But most importantly, the effects of shrooms are temporary and are not passed down to your offspring.
but academics yeah but like neither is most of the shit that we have today like
the majority of human experience and knowledge is passed through generations
through teaching that's why like the first third of your fucking life not
first third third first fourth fish of your life is just school because you're
not like a dog you know you don't just get given the skills that you need
when you're born like if you didn't go to school you would be a fucking
idiot. Like I know a lot of the shit they teach in school is stupid and useless but like if you
never went to school you would be a dumbass. You would be stupid as fuck. Like that's why you
at least need to get through like elementary school to learn how to read and write and do basic math
because that's like something that you kind of just need on a day-to-day basis.
Stint rejected the stone aid theory because ancient humans weren't eating mushrooms.
They rejected it because McKenna overclaimed what those mushrooms did the mushrooms were
ab school system hasn't changed. Yeah, you need some of that knowledge. No, I agree. That's what I'm
saying. It's like, I don't think a lot of the stuff that school teaches you is, you know,
specifically useful to your life in general, but it gives you general knowledge that make you
averagely a smarter person, you're better at problem solving, you're better at adapting to
situations, you're better at learning, you're better at working, you know, like I do agree
that I think modern school systems especially in the United States kind of bottleneck kids
into the nine to five life, but it also is needed. I think it needs a reformat, not a
complete scrap and redo, you know.
Absolutely there. And her ancestors were probably eating them. They may have helped their ancestors
with the lateral thinking that is needed to invent new tools and strategies. So did
shrooms make us human? Probably not on their own. But they almost certainly had an effect
than the evolution of lateral thinking.
Silicite and mushrooms are one of the most potent
mind-expanding substances out there.
During times of hardship, they may have helped
their ancestors come up with new solutions
to age-old problems.
Unfortunately, finding direct evidence for this
is impossible, but hard to deny nonetheless.
I also love just thinking about a bunch of
homo erectus just sitting around tripping
in places in Africa.
Imagine being stoned in an-
And I wonder, like, you know, there obviously
had to be a time where they ate the mushrooms
didn't know that it would make them hallucinate and then it did but then there had to be a point
where they started looking for them. Like the earlier human ancestors made the connection that
these specific mushrooms make me trip balls. Let's look for them. Like they wanted to have them.
Environment with giant baboons, lions, paranthropists and all you have to defend yourself is a.
Those are so uncanny, this form.
Is this, this is an Australopithecus.
What is this?
This form of human, like, is so creepy to me.
It's like what uncanny valley is.
Ratharpis, and all you have to defend yourself
is a wooden spear.
The more you learn about human evolution,
I swear the more absurd it gets.
And as it turns out, shrooms are just the beginning.
As our species evolved,
mushroom use became institutionalized.
Shamanism is one of the oldest spiritual practices on earth. It is built entirely around altered states of consciousness.
The shaman often ingests the substance accompanied with dancing and drumming that allows him to enter the spirit world.
Here, they obtain knowledge and wisdom to bring back to their group.
It's the same exact lateral thinking we talked about earlier, except now it has a job title.
Our earliest evidence comes from Europe around 40,000 years ago, where archaeologists have found bone flutes, hybrid figurines, and
and abstract cave art.
Depictions of human-animal hybrids
are highly indicative of shamanism,
because in traditional societies,
shamans often wear the costumes of animals
to gain their power.
There is no doubt that shamanism was common
throughout the world this early on.
One of the coolest things we talked about
in my philosophy class was like the...
When you look at cave paintings throughout time,
the coolest transition to see...
I've said this before on stream,
but the coolest transition to see is like
when they went from painting
other things they saw to themselves like the first hand paintings, and then like individual stick figure drawings of like caveman families is the coolest because it's like them at like it's there it's showing that they know they exist, not just like a biological feeling
strive to move forward and eat and survive.
It's not all biological.
They had abstract thinking beyond just survival needs.
They were like, holy fuck, I actually exist.
And then they were able to paint that
versus earlier K paintings where it's like,
maybe they had a level of consciousness
that's obviously on a higher realm than most species.
But the inner understanding of self
wasn't fully built yet because they were still
drawing things they saw.
they had some interest in art and painting but it was like they never made themselves yet.
And they almost certainly were consuming psychoactive substances.
Shamans in Siberia conduct these traditions with mushrooms to this day,
and their culture traces directly back to the Ice Age.
But an incredible sight in North Africa finally proved this connection.
In the Tassili-Nahajir Plateau in the Sahara Desert,
there is a cave painting depicting something profound.
a strange masked figure with mushrooms growing out of every surface his hand
that's so awesome bro some dude tripping fucking 30k years ago made that is
that his dick
hands full of shrooms the distinctive round caps almost certainly represents
is he peeing? I don't sense psilocybin mushrooms but the figure isn't alone
around him figures dance in elaborate costumes while others make love
The whole scene carries the unmistakable appearance of a ceremony with people in altered states
of consciousness.
Other cave art from the same time period in Spain depicts my god they're all just fucking
drawing mushrooms as well.
Shamanism was the most common religious practice across the entire world during the Stone
Age and it seems institutionalized mushroom use was common as well.
I have been studying human evolution for years and honestly I think I vastly underestimated
the role of psychoactive substances in our development.
Another substance has been used since the ice age that you have probably consumed.
Wild cannabis was growing across Europe and Asia before our species even existed.
Ancient humans have been living among this plant since the first home we wrecked is left
Africa some 2 million years ago.
In its undomesticated form, it is fairly low in THC, the chemical that gets you
high.
Is this actually just natural weed weed everywhere in some places?
So this is just natural weed.
The chemical that gets you high.
But it is very high in CBD, a chemical which helps with anxiety and pain relief.
The seeds are also edible and the plant itself makes very strong cordage.
This plant was very useful to our ancestors.
But did they actually get stoned in the Stone Age?
Recent DNA evidence found around 12,000 years ago, two families of cannabis diverged.
One used for hemp, and the other for THC.
Meaning as far back as-
Wow, so they started hand-picking two different types of weed, 12,000 years ago to grow for
material usage and for getting high.
The end of the last Ice Age.
Ancient humans were cultivating-
Yo, jelly, thank you for the raid, bro.
Mr. Zay, the killer Scotty, Kanye, Flamie, Jay gave the sub something out of the three.
Dolphin C got popped for official play with them to get high.
Yeah, they like stress him out, so they release the toxins and then like inhale it.
Revenzap with the sub 70 for the sub G-Ball for the three.
Would you microdose on stream ever?
No.
That's TOS.
100% no.
Genedi for the sub.
I was also talking to my friend about this yesterday.
I haven't taken mushrooms in like two years.
Just about.
for multiple purposes, including drug use.
High THC varieties could have simply been consumed like an edible or smoked.
At 12,000 years old, this puts its domestication slightly before any food crops.
It actually could be the earliest plant ever domesticated.
It is still contested where it was first domesticated, most likely being East Asia.
Our earliest direct evidence comes from the Oki Islands near Japan, where 10,200
year old cannabis seeds were found in Jomon pots.
China and India documented using cannabis and spiritual rituals along with many other cultures
Herodotus, I feel like it would be very common for them to make like a tea
Like a like a thct because it's harder to like bake it. I mean, I'm maybe smoking. It's obviously easy, but I could see them like
Brewing the cannabis into like boiling water
I don't know how much would release out of that
But the world's first historian documented its use by the Central Asian sithians
He writes the sithians as I said take some of this hemp seed how much a natural weed can make you high
I don't really know how what THC percentage
Existed in weed 12,000 years ago probably very little
But even like in the 70s like when your parents were in high school
the average joint had like
like 6% THC. Now the average joint is like 30. What percent THC did joints have in the
70s? Oh my God, it's even less. Marijuana in the 1970s was 1 to 4%. Most estimates are
hovering around 2 to 3. Most strains today contain like 20%. And so it was probably even
last, but I think not much last because in the 70s it was probably a lot closer to like natural amounts
even if they were harvesting it. marijuana has been selectively bred over the last 30 years to have
higher potency. five to ten weed today is five to seven times stronger than the 70s
and creeping under the felt coverings throw it upon red hot stones immediately it smokes and
and gives out such a vapor as no Greek vapor bath can exceed.
The Siths, delighted, shout for joy.
The Scythians were the pioneers of mountain warfare,
known as brutal warriors,
but it seems they loved the high as much as the rest of us.
Cannabis would make its way into cultures
all over Europe and Africa as it's read with trade,
becoming important to many religious practices.
I don't know about you-
Wow, dude.
As civilizations merge,
you fucking meet a civilization that doesn't have weed.
You go, yo, check this shit.
They only have beer.
Yo, try this shit out.
But I find it hilarious that one of the first plans we ever
domesticated wasn't to feed villages.
No, it was more important.
Praying while fried is wild.
It's actually very common outside of Christianity.
Even within some sects of Christianity, like smart
groups, a lot of other religions
get high for the purpose of being spiritual.
That's why like a lot of natives
and like tribes in the United States
get legal permission to use peyote
even if it's illegal in the state for religious reasons.
And it was to get high, but the next example
is even funnier.
Humans may actually have a-
Not for you, but very common elsewhere.
Vented civilization so they could get
a steady flow of beer.
Alcohol is one of the oldest intoxicating-
That's psychosis.
Do you know what psychosis is?
Substances consumed by humans Beer is even funnier.
Humans may actually have invented civilizations so they could get a steady flow of beer.
Alcohol is one of the oldest intoxicating substances consumed by humans.
Fruits naturally ferment in the wild, and chimpanzees purposefully seek out this food
source, consuming over two drinks a day worth of alcohol.
Our ancestors were almost certainly doing the same thing, but at some point we developed
a more efficient method. In the Levant region starting 15,000 years ago, the Matufian culture
began harvesting wild grains in abundance. They were grinding them up into flour using
stones, giving them a calorie-rich food staple. By mixing with water, they made nutritious
porridges and if left out would ferment into alcohol.
And we don't just have to hypothesize. Researchers have found residue of beer dating
back 13,000 years ago in the Levant. At Haifa Cave, stone mortars were carved
to the cave floor, where reed and barley based alcohol were ground and fermented.
This proves that beer predates agriculture and even civilization by thousands of years.
Imagine getting together with your lads in a cave, brewing some beer and getting drunk 13,000
years ago. Bro, I feel like that had to make you sick though, no? Because like earlier beer and
alcohol consumption was like, obviously yes, fermentation, but also like rotting. Like a level
of if you got drunk you're probably gonna like vomit not even from being like too drunk like alcohol
poisoning like you just made yourself sick. It's wonderful but scholars believe that the impact of
beer on human culture was far more profound. Gobekli Tepe is one of the most important archaeological
sites in the world. It proved that thousands of years before writing or civilization humans could
get together and create massive structures. But recent evidence suggests it may have
have actually been the world's first pub.
Quebec Lee Tepe shows no evidence of permanent habitation.
A pub where they'd pull up and buy drinks?
What?
Humans could get together and create massive structures.
But recent evidence suggests it may have actually
been the world's first pub.
Quebec Lee Tepe shows no evidence of permanent habitation.
The people who built it, by all evidence,
were hunter-gatherers.
Plenty of plant and animal remains
have been found at the site, all of which
were undomesticated.
But their abundance suggests that lavish feasts occurred here, feasts which included beer.
In multiple rooms at Quebec Ritepe, trough-shaped limestone vessels have been found.
They are built into the floor of the room.
Six have been found, and in total, add up to a hundred and sixty-
I just wish I could see what- like I wish I could experience what it was like to be somebody that lived in that time.
Like, I'm not upset that I'm alive now, you know, I'm glad to be alive in general.
But I feel like the connection that humans had with Earth was probably a lot more profound when a lot less was known, you know?
There's no society or technology or like any science. You kind of just exist. Like, there's still... We're animals. We will always be animals.
But like, we're developed animals. Yes, they were more developed, but they still lived among the creatures of the world.
Whereas now we have like our own societies.
Whereas like that, that was probably like a huge deal, man.
Like you're a hunter-gatherer society.
You don't farm, you don't use much agriculture in general.
Like you kind of just hunt and, you know, forage for items on a day-to-day basis.
And once in your life, you build this fucking huge structure
and meet up with a bunch of other humans and get fucking hammered.
Like what a weird experience that would be.
leaders. A grayish-black residue was found in the lower part of the vessel. Chemical analysis
found evidence of oxalate. Oxalate develops during the steeping, mashing, and fermentation of cereals,
and can indicate the production of beer. It is still contested if this proves for certain that
beer was being produced, as old porridge could hypothetically leave the same trace.
Though many scholars are convinced beer was being made, the beer would have had an alcohol
concentration of only about two percent. But considering these people had no...
Two percent? That ain't that bad, though, bro. For fucking 12,000 years ago.
No alcohol tolerance.
Drinking a gallon of that? Yeah, no alcohol tolerance. They get hammered.
And there was about 40 liters in one trough. The effect would have been noticeable.
But beyond the fun that may have gone along with consuming alcohol,
beer was safer to consume than water in these days. Thus, it was nutritious and safe.
It doesn't even like transition to like even like the 1200s or like the like the fowl like like after
You know like modern day like on a Dominique ad or see you rather
People would be or save them water. Yeah, because it because of its alcohol contents. There's no like bacteria
like
You if you drank water it might make you sick versus drinking beer, which is safer to drink
Surrounded by benches which could have sat more than a dozen people.
The perfect structure for communal feasting and drinking.
Getting drunk with your tribe at Gobekli Tepe must have been a great time.
These feasts were clearly important to bring large groups of people together to bond,
share ideas, but also to move massive stones like those found at Gobekli Tepe.
To supply these feasts, they gave young teens beer and wine.
It was a long time ago, it was super normal.
Yo, six grams.
like mad normal in Europe today. That's like that's like that's not a historical thing. That's like
very common in Europe that like a 13 year old will drink wine at dinner or some shit like
with their family. Not like drunk but like isn't that common? I feel like that's common in Europe
No, because like the drinking age is lower too.
Yeah, it's many common for teens, like 14 or younger
to have small amounts of wine or beer or family murals
as it's viewed at meals, not mirrors.
It's a more cultural component rather dining
rather than a forbidden activity.
In Southern Europe and Germany,
table wine is consumed by teenagers quite commonly.
Yeasts, more grain and meat was needed, possibly helping to spur on the
domestication of both plants and animals.
Genetic analysis has shown that the domestication of both einkorn and
emmerwit took place in close vicinity to Gobekli Tepe.
Therefore, farming and ultimately civilization may have been the byproducts
of brewing beer.
I mean, after all, what greater incentive is there than beer?
And the more you think about it, the more it makes sense.
The consumption of alcohol helps communities bond, relieve stress, but also leads to that
lateral thinking.
Dude, that's like one of the weirdest things about like, um, I guess like drugs or mind-altering
substances in general is like, it is such a social thing.
Like people drinking together is a social activity.
One of the biggest things people know about quitting cigarettes is they lose friends.
I'm not advocating for cigarettes smoking.
I just think it's fascinating that people that smoke lead together usually just have
something in common or are more likely to be friends.
If you have a co-worker that smokes cigarettes and you smoke cigarettes, you guys will
probably be more likely to be friends than somebody else because you guys will take
cigarette smoke breaks together and talk like yeah having an interest in some random you know
mind-altering substance will make you more likely to meet people in some way like it's odd I'm not
saying it's good it's bad in some regards but talking about earlier and this may have led to new
ideas in these communities but every drug we've mentioned so far that's sharing an experience
That's true.
For our team, compared to what we discovered in the Americas, in South America.
Want to be a true friendship though?
You could say that about most friendships you have.
True friends are far and few between.
Like a true friendship of virtue is like two people in your life, maybe.
The majority of friends you have are circumstantial and based off of like you sharing interests
and liking being around each other.
Like, if you play basketball and your friend plays basketball, you both are friends because
you both play basketball, right?
First and foremost, you might keep friends after that for another reason, but the same
thing can be said about like, your friends with somebody because they also smoke cigarettes
and you met each other at work and you smoke cigarettes and have cigarette breaks together
and then you hit it off and now you're friends.
It's like the same shit.
A variety of incredibly potent drugs have been used since the Stone Age, one of
Which is cocoa leaves the active ingredient. What's a true friend somebody that knows you beyond I mean, yeah, I've made philosophy videos about that true friends
It's like
They know you through and through and they are your friend not for any sort of personal gain
They enjoy being around you, but they don't need to
To be friends with you, right?
It's hard to explain. It's like a true friend. Your parents are your true friends
Horrible take horrible take very dependent on the individual brother. You cannot say your parents are your true friends
Maybe your parents are your true friends
You could not say that about everybody
there's also a
definitive
love dynamic that exists between parents and their kids and I will agree with that fully I think once you're older
I think you could kind of have a
a more friend-based bond with your parents,
but Aristotle has some bad takes,
but in Nikomaki and Ethics,
or just like him talking about friendships in general,
I will agree that I think that a parent-and-kid relationship,
the kid will always have some sort of love in balance
with the parent because they're the reason you exist.
So even if you're in good standings,
like your mom or dad might be more protective of you
than you are of them,
but the love that you have for your mother
will be more than the love that they have for you.
Not always, but a lot of the time,
because it's like they're not your God.
I'm not saying that, but they're the reason you exist.
Same thing with like boss and and and worker, right?
You might be casually friends with one another, but like, they're higher than you.
You're not equals. You're not. You and your mom, you and your dad are not equals.
They're above you in a social hierarchy, in a respect sense, and in a biological sense, they're above you, right?
So, a true friend is generally not a parent.
It could be a sibling, it could be just a regular friend, it could be a cousin, but not of somebody
that is seen, that's a bad take.
I don't think it is.
Again, it is subjective, right?
You could disagree with me, but like there is a hierarchy in terms of, you know, your
grandparents are, you should respect them, right?
Obviously, you could have a shitty father, shitty mother, and that's a different scenario.
But I'm saying in a general, just blanketed paper sheet of social hierarchy,
your parents are above you and your grandparents are above them.
It's a respect to your elders type thing.
Int, of course, being cocaine.
Cochilea.
What?
In South America, a variety of incredibly potent drugs have been used since the Stone Age.
Oh but chewing coca leaves, not making cocaine.
Which is coca leaves, the active ingredient of course being cocaine.
Cocoa leaves naturally grow all over the Andes.
Chewing the leaves provides a mild energy boost and relief, but of course ancient humans
found a way to intensify their effects.
Archaeologists excavating a house from 8,000 years ago found coca leaves on the floor,
and along with them were pieces of calcite.
Calcite helps to release organic compounds.
When combined with coca leaves, it creates a much more intense high.
The quantities of the leaves suggest that the wider community was coming together to
chew coca leaves recreationally.
And every day, dude, cause that shit's a dick thing.
It's not like, oh, this was just like something like they, you could say it's like, oh, more
of a spiritual thing with like hallucinogenics, but stuff like coca leaves that's like super
abundant, bro, they're probably high all day.
And the time period just so happened to line up with the explosion of systematic
like farming in the region.
So coaked up farmers were spearheading civilization
in the Andes.
Guys, I'm starting to think that drugs
really did create civilization.
Cocoa would remain popular.
I don't see a civilization that,
I don't see a world where like humanity exists
with zero mind altering substances.
Like the average person is not necessarily addicted to
but uses either nicotine alcohol weed mushrooms
or some sort of substance, caffeine.
Another thing, nobody talks about that.
Like, probably 80% of the people in this chat use caffeine.
Like, that's a mind-altering substance.
It's a stimulant.
Be aware as cultures rose and fell in the Andes.
Ancient pottery depicts people-
It's very rare there's somebody that does nothing.
Nothing.
It's very rare somebody just doesn't have caffeine.
They don't drink, they don't smoke,
they don't use nicotine, they do nothing.
Very rare.
There's people that do it.
I'm not saying like it, but then even the people that do it are usually obsessed with something else.
Sugary drinks, others that like they look forward to something.
Presume.
That changes their brain chemistry in some minute way.
Bleaching and cocoa leaves.
Evidence suggests it became part of a labyrinth and often deadly rituals.
Mormons?
Mormons, but Mormons are obsessed with soda.
Mormons are obsessed with soda are they not isn't it so delicious and those other
companies that exist in Utah like super fucking popular the Amish do the
Amish use anything
I feel like the Amish can drink occasionally now outside of Room Springer.
Like tobacco. Some Amish people smoke tobacco in more conservative or traditional, older, old-order communities where it's often considered a tolerated traditional habit, especially amongst men.
Nicotine. While honest people frown upon it, some groups prohibited others grow their
tobacco suffix cigars, pipe cigarettes. I mean, it depends. It's probably the specific sub-niche community.
And this brings us to one of the most haunting archaeological discoveries of all time,
the children of Lula Ilico. In 1999, a man hikes Lula Ilico, one of the tallest mountains in
South America. Here he discovered a strange stone structure with three children inside.
it. Due to the cold and dry conditions, they were almost perfectly preserved, except for
one if you're struck by lightning at some point. They were buried along with figurines
made of precious metals and other grave goods. Analysis found that the children were sacrificed
in an Incan religious ritual taking place around 500 years ago. They were drugged with
an immense amount of cocoa leaves and corn beer, and they seemed to have died in their
sleep and placed atop the mountain. The practice of ritual sacrifice in the Andes
was intended to ensure health, rich harvests, and favorable weather.
While certainly barbaric to us, it was different times back then.
Human sacrifice was once incredibly common across the ancient world.
Oh my god, where was it?
Was it in the Mayan culture where they would kill somebody every day and rip their beating
heart out?
There's the Aztecs.
Did they do it every day?
The Aztecs rip someone's heart out every day.
The priests would rip a heart out placed in a bowl held by statue.
It's as frequently, not every day.
Around, around 200 sacrifices a year potentially, no more than.
But what's even crazier is what archaeologists discovered at Kahuachi in Peru.
It served as a major religious center of Nazca culture 2,000 years ago due to the very dry
Is penis any of the reason you haven't taken shrimps a while? No, I've just I just haven't wanted to
but yeah, I did have kind of a
Not not a good not a bad trip, but like I don't know that shit was horrible
The trip wasn't horrible that shit was fucking way too strong man. That was like bad
I don't take shrimps by the way, but like holy fuck man. That was
It was just normally like I have taken streams like 10 times and I'm not advocating for the users of them
But like every time I've taken them I've always known I was gonna take them like a week prior and
The last time I took mushrooms my friend was like the day of or the day before it was like you want to take him
I like oh, yeah, I'll take like a gram something light and
I think that took like a gram or a gram and a half
But it was of penis envy which is way stronger and it has more psilocybin and psilocybin than like a regular mushroom
like Salos Vecubensis or enigma mushrooms or like golden cap mushrooms or whatever they're called
golden teachers rather and so I take it and I just start dude it's like 15 minutes in and I go
oh I'm tripping and I was like this is gonna be I'm not ready for this and so I'm like trying
to lock I'm trying to like calm myself down because I'm like this is gonna be I thought I was
just gonna be like oh feeling a little happy maybe watch like a Netflix documentary do the
room starts morphing, and I just go,
ah, no.
By conditions, the burials at the site led
to bodies naturally mummifying.
Many of these people were sacrificed,
four of which were trophy heads,
but their preservation gave researchers
the opportunity to chemically analyze
the hair of 22 of these ancient people.
They found evidence of not only coca,
but also ayahuasca.
Ayahuasca contains one of the most powerful
psychedelic substances on earth,
dimethyltryptamine, also known as DMT.
Users describe how it can pull you entirely away from reality, including encounters with
entities from other realms.
Researchers think that the mummies at Kahuachi were given ayahuasca to calm and disorient
them before their lives were taken.
But ayahuasca-
What a horrible way to die.
Oh my god.
You're tripping balls and then they kill you?
Yikes.
Had to be imported all the way from the Amazon.
it was used for shamanistic rituals for thousands of years. Its powerful psychedelic effects
were clearly quite useful for shamans. There are many ways to create the drug, as multiple
plant species naturally have it. The most common method is by boiling a specific root
in the leaves of a specific shrub. The mixture is drunk with the guide of a shaman.
Another method involves smoking and anethera beans. And in Argentina, a pipe made from
bone of a mountain lion was found with traces of DMT dating back to 4000 years ago. It is insane to
think that some guy 4000 years ago was smoking DMT in the Andes. But another extremely powerful
talkabout substance was- Yeah. I mean, that dude, I'm telling you right now, if I was alive
4000 years ago, I would probably, I would probably be more spiritual than I am. Like 100%. If I was
How's the dude in the Andes? No technology exists. Not a lot of modern, like science exists.
And I don't really understand the world around me and I just start tripping balls in the mountains.
I'd go, oh my God.
Like, there's, there's like purple beings or whatever they, like, there's, I think it's common that you see like a purple being on DMT or something like that.
I would believe in that shit, 100%.
It's used in the Americas even earlier.
Peiote is a tiny, unassuming cactus, but inside of it is mesc-
No reason not to.
I'd be like, well, that was real.
An incredibly powerful psychedelic substance.
The plant produces it to defend against herbivores, as it is incredibly bitter and disorienting.
But of course, ancient humans found a way to turn it into a powerful psychedelic
experience.
An archeological dig in Texas found evidence that Native Americans have been using this
plant for at least 5,500 years.
And decent men would use it during shamanic ceremonies to heal their communities and acquire
wisdom, an unbroken tradition that dates back to the Ice Age in Eurasia.
When Europeans made it to the region, Peodi was documented among dozens of groups including
the Apache, Tancua, and Comanche.
As the tribes were colonized, and the government tried to destroy native culture, Peodi was
made illegal.
But famous Comanche chief, Quana Parker, fought hard to maintain the use of Peodi
in his people's spiritual practices.
He created a spiritual movement blending aspects of Christianity with indigenous beliefs and
peyote use.
He famously said,
The white man goes into his church and talks about Jesus.
The Indian goes in his teepee and talks with Jesus.
This quote explains just how intimate the role of peyote was in many Native American cultures
going back thousands of years.
But the practice of speaking directly to the spirit world wasn't limited to the
Americas.
Another substance may have actually inspired some of the most popular religions on earth.
The poppy plant is one of the wildest plants out there.
It naturally produces both morphine and codeine, both of which are incredibly potent narcotics.
The unripe seeds produce a milky substance that when dro-
So religion's made up from drugs?
No, not necessarily, but I think there- if you want the joe bark take, I think that
religion was created through sociological needs as well as
like drugs yeah um more what is it called what is the study of civilizations anthropology
i believe anthropology study of humanity yeah if you look at anthropology throughout the years like
Certain societies that live similar lives but are on different continents come up with very similar religions, depending on the type of life that they live.
Bigger societies have more monotheistic gods, kind of like a big brother, more roaming, not hunter-gatherer societies, but more nomadic people are more likely to believe in similar things.
like you can like look into that shit um but i mean like that's one of the reasons i'm not religious
but that's what i believe i'm not saying it's definitively true because there's no way of proving it
but dried is referred to as opium which the connections are there and be eaten or smoked
and ancient humans knew just how powerful it was as far back as 80s read my bits took three
guys of penis and he played hunter to call the wild for six hours straight walking around
I'm virtual nature thinking about how much I love my family.
Bro, there was one time I was laying in a field
hugging the earth.
I swear to God.
I was like, and I was like, wow,
gravity is really like earth hugging me back.
Like I felt, I actually felt like earth
was like a conscious being that existed.
and it was like there to help me live my life.
So serious, I was like bomb, hug and earth right now,
this is awesome.
600 years ago, poppy remains have been found
in sites across Europe.
The plant seems to have been domesticated
as early as 8,000 years ago around the Mediterranean.
Now they may have just been eating the ripe seeds,
though it wasn't a leap for them to find out
that the unripe seeds can give you an incredible high.
Stone age farmers across Europe and Asia
consuming poppy seeds, and in all likelihood, getting high. By the time civilization emerged,
we know for a fact that opium was well known. The Minoans even had a poppy goddess.
Ceramic vessels have been found with a figure in a strange position with poppies protruding
from their headband. The largest known statue of the goddess was found near a tabular vase
used for inhaling opium smoke. Opium may have been the basis for cultic rituals that would
have influenced later Greek traditions. The Sumerians were also fond of opium poppies.
which they called the Joy Plant. Sumerian priests use opium to reach a higher state of spirituality.
At a 4,000-year-old palace in the Syrian city of Ebla, archaeologists found traces of poppy
alongside other medicinal plants. The room's location at the heart of the palace, combined
with Huneiform tablets mentioning priests taking unknown ritual beverages, strongly
hints that ceremonial usage. Like in Greece, opium was used in cultic rituals by the
upper classes. Many of the religions of the period and in the modern day may have some
ties to these early drug-fueled rituals. And with a drug as powerful as opium, I'm not
surprised. It is hilarious to realize that some ancient priests in these societies were
full-blown drug addicts. Scholars suggest that the impact of these psychoactive substances
has been underestimated, and that a drug culture was central to ritual across the
ancient world. Drug use in modern times has often been framed as a moral weakness,
But in reality, it couldn't be more human.
From tripping home erectus in places in Africa, to shamans in Ice Age Europe,
to you cracking open a beer on a Friday night, the impulse of drug use is natural.
That doesn't mean it's good or bad.
I'm just providing you with the historical information
so you can make your own decisions without any cultural stigma.
And if you enjoyed this deep dive, click this video neck.
I love that video, bro. Oh my god. North O2. You are a fucking goat, dude.
makes great content. Was there an advanced civilization before us? Excuse me, I'm adding that to the watch later as well.
WVD. All right. Now we're about to watch Neil deGrasse Tyson ran about war. Boy,
H.E. with the sub, swagger, thank you for the thre. Would you ever do a Christmas stream where you make a gingerbread house while high?
Oh, I've made like five gingerbread houses on stream before. God, thank you for the sub.
I gotta think of the fray turn 15 obviously love your streams
I've been going through a lot of stuff while your go live notification
Honestly makes me feel better and like I matter. I really appreciate what you do
Would you ever be down to do a groovy run stream sometime? No
But I'm glad that I'm able to help you bro, and I wish you the best man
Truly. All right. I gotta go piss real quick that we're gonna hop into the next video
Count me down
So, what do you think?
Thank you for the sub.
Can we say hi to Eugene Blomkin?
you
I'm just going to go back to the
I have no idea.
W. Aiden is W. Aiden.
Lynn J. R. Red and Judy, thank you for the sub.
Boston VLOG. I'm not going to title it Boston VLOG.
Watch The Masters. Copyrighted, big dog. Use your brain.
The Boston experience.
Becoming a real boss to becoming a real Boston
Becoming a real Boston or
What do you call people from Boston?
Boston
I don't know. I feel like the Boston experience might be better.
Now, let me keep the vlog.
Okay, I didn't see you there. Just showing this Boston Airbnb in my Dekuzy bath.
Getting ready for a wonderful trip that I'm taking you guys along for the ride for.
It's a 25 minute video. I had that much footage
Okay, sorry, I had to lock back in.
Why is it in 2X, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
Okay, sorry. I had a lock back in. Why isn't it 2x? I don't know. I was just watching the
video. It was good. Damn. Damn. Okay. Chat lock in. Drew and Geo so thinking of a sudden
A scientist's view on war.
Let's go.
We've recorded the history.
Ever since we've recorded the history of human conduct
in what we call civilization and even before,
there have been people who didn't get along
on a level where it wasn't simply a matter of,
let's talk over our differences.
It's, we cannot resolve our differences,
so therefore I must kill you.
This as a mode of operation within our species, within civilization itself, is disturbing.
I think it's one of the weirdest things too, to talk about war and how it hinders humanity's progress because, and this is not in support of war.
I think if humanity in general, I think if humans were able to get along and not kill each other,
we would be able to advance as a species in a much more rapid rate.
But a lot of the big technological and leap advances that we've made as a species
are through war and the competition to be stronger and more powerful than your counterpart.
like even going to the moon we fast-tracked that because we didn't want the Russians to go to the moon
microwaves and other fucking weird niche inventions
inventions that you use on a day-to-day basis splitting of the atom you know nuclear bombs
they're terrible but like being able to figure that is a big step in human science and advancement
but it happened because we wanted to kill 500,000 people in the snap of a finger
So let's go way back when it's just fisticuffs. What's the most damage I could do? I can like
maybe harm one person, possibly kill one person at a time. Now I'm going to bow an arrow. I'm one
person and I can take out 10 people at a time. Notice this ratio is getting steeper and steeper.
Bro, it's gotten to a point now where, like, technically speaking, one guy with enough power
so, like, the leader of Russia, China, the United States, somewhere with nuclear warheads,
could kill everyone on Earth.
If they wanted to.
Like, an insane man could kill everybody on Earth.
Some people are saying Trump could, you know, theoretically nuclear nuke somebody.
Like...
I now have a gun.
Actually, it's a musket gun it initially I could take you out at 50 yards
I don't even know what you look like and I can kill you then have automatic weapons one person can take out
20 people reload take out another 20 a
Missile you fire a missile I can take out hundreds of people
and hundreds of people that are
hundreds of miles away
now
Not like a missile where you're just shooting it, you know across the football field war continues to quote advance
What else can I borrow?
Bombs yes, so now one person can kill
Thousands once you have an airplane you can fly over someone's head it renders the trench warfare obsolete
Airplanes can go over cities you drop bombs on people's heads whether or not they're combatants
So now you just make more and more powerful bombs
I think the only other thing that could be said which is like restricted outside of bombs
But like um like biological warfare like viruses and shit like that like that exists
You know, it's just hey, you're this is like really immoral like beyond like you could kill all of humanity immoral
I don't know if there's anything above bombs though.
The bombs are no longer just explosives, like with gunpowder or anything, it's nukes!
Nuclear weapons!
A birth at the end of the Second World War.
Now one person flying an airplane can kill tens of thousands, even millions.
Yeah, like, I struggled to grasp the scale of nuclear bombs today because the bombs that
were dropped on Nagasaki and Hiroshima killed, you know, 200,000 people.
But those bombs, like, pale in comparison to nuclear hydrogen bombs today.
So what would, like, I feel like one nuclear bomb dropped in New York City would kill
all of New York City, right?
It's got to be that big.
Maybe not everybody instantly, but it would cause enough damage that everybody in New York City would die, or like Tokyo.
Tokyo's much larger, though.
Tens of thousands initially with the atom bomb.
These are the fission bombs that split uranium and plutonium atoms into lighter atoms, releasing energy in the process.
Those were the two bombs over Nagasaki and Hiroshima.
the first and only two times nuclear weapons were used.
I can't get over when I was watching Oppenheimer
and when they wanted to test the nuclear bomb,
they said that there was a very slim margin that if they set off a nuclear bomb,
it would start a chain reaction and basically split every atom in like our atmosphere
and kill everybody on earth.
And they still did it.
Like even though the chance was like, you know, 0.00 whatever,
They were like, yeah, that could happen.
Warfare.
The bombs were not certain that it won't.
It was over Nagasaki and Hiroshima were like 20 kilotons, something like hot take on it like that movie.
I love that movie.
And maybe he's great.
Good, good cinematography.
I feel like it was also like educational kilotons was what unit is that?
Oh, oh, huh.
We don't have a way to measure the energy of atomic bombs.
So you you measured in terms of what the previous
Explosive powers were
TNT TNT's dynamite
Discovered by Alfred Nobel by the way got rich put in money to create the Nobel Prize
Kilo is thousand we all know
ton is a ton
thousand tons of TNT
Not just one stick of dynamite
Thousands of tons you take that ignite it in an instant
You incinerate everybody below you.
And we have magnified the power of that weapon by a hundred.
We call them hydrogen bombs, just the way the sun makes energy,
taking hydrogen atoms, bringing it together to make helium atoms.
That also releases energy way more energy than you'd get by fissioning heavy atoms.
No longer is a kilotons, it's megatons.
Not just thousands of tons of TNT
Millions of tons of TNT now one person
Who pushes a button?
What has a rocket to deliver ICBM intercontinental ballistic missiles, bro?
See that's like that's what's fucking so terrifying even if in our lifetime
We don't have some sort of leader that will do this
Isn't it somewhat inevitable that like
like humanity goes down a wrong turn, puts the wrong guy in power, and he kills everyone.
Out of just like, just spite or some sort of, like you could have, and I know people
are going to say Trump and shit, I, I don't think Trump's going to, I, I do not like
Trump as a president.
I think he's a terrible person.
I think he's a terrible president.
I don't think he's going to blow up the world.
I hope he does not blow up the world.
But you could have a scenario where a struggling country with nuclear power and capabilities
has a psychopath that puts on a facade that he is going to save the world and save your
country and hoist your nation up and help everyone out.
And in reality, he goes, right when they put me in power, I'm going to kill everybody.
Right when they put me in power, I'm going to kill everyone.
I just want to kill everybody.
They he gets elected and boom destroys the world and this could happen 400 years from now, but like
There has to be some sort of safety net right some people are saying Hitler Hitler
Yeah, was you wanted to ethnically cleanse Jewish people off of the earth, but even then
Like he didn't have the power to do so right now it'd be like somebody like that getting put in power today
would be the end of the world
I can sit here in the comfort of my chair,
control a missile on my sovereign land,
it'll enter suborbital because it leaves our atmosphere,
can't travel that far without resistance through the air.
It leaves our atmosphere, goes its distance,
comes back out of the sky, hits its target,
you can kill a million people.
Clearly that's a highly unstable situation
because now we are beholden to
to the sanity of anyone who has access to that button.
Yeah, like you can't, brother.
I feel like there has to be like 15 people
to you need like a line,
like a checks and balances government wise,
but more like, yo, we need like way more people.
And I don't know how simple it is genuinely
for him to do a nuke.
I doubt Trump could just go,
ah, fuck it, flip a switch
slam a big red button and nukes fly out. He probably asked to run it by somebody, even if he is the
president. But I feel like it should be beyond what it is. I gotta Google that. How simple is it for a
president to shoot a nuclear bomb.
A briefcase carried by military aid containing a strike option,
the president uses a laminated card to identify themselves.
Once authorized, the launch order is transmitted directly
through military crews in a minute.
Advisors discuss the decision, nobody can veto the order.
see that's what I don't like like it's the end all be all he like you got a guy
and I don't know how other countries nuclear you know facilities work I'm
more so saying in the United States but like that's wild
The authority to use nuclear weapons is inherent in a constitutional role as commander in chief.
The president can seek advice from his senior military leaders.
Those military leaders are then required to transmit and implement the orders authorizing
nuclear use if the president decides to employ nuclear weapons and they can't veto
him.
that neurodiversity of our species.
Is that not crazy?
I know it's like in certain area,
or in certain instances you need that,
where it's like, oh fuck, if somebody shot a nuke at us,
you know, you need the president to be like, boom,
yeah, shoot the nuke at them without like hesitancy.
But like, to be able to do that is nuts.
Max, thank you for the thousand buddies.
I got fired from my one year apprenticeship last week.
I'm sorry to hear that, man.
I live with my mom, I'm not on the best terms,
she must throw me out.
I have a trust fund with my dad's death,
but I'm not ready to move out yet, I'm only 18.
Completely are off site now if I don't find another job the end of the month
I have to go back to get to only having a high school diploma
I just want to break but my mom doesn't support that I
Don't really know what to say man. I wish you the best max, but I'm sorry you're going through that
I don't really know what I could do specifically, but I think you just keep pushing man. I
See if you're able to take some small break, but I don't know what I could say
MMR, thank you for the three
Rousses for the three thoughts of people saying that the Holocaust killed 271 Ken says six million people received
That takes 271 Ken says six million now. I think six million people died
I think the numbers that they submitted of how many Jewish people died is accurate
I
Don't know why people would say it's not during the air of the sub accident call for the sub the Donnie pep
Jack and Jake for the sub
Lynn jr. Red for the seven million of the three listening affects twins in the most type thing ever status thing makes you stop
I can't think of the three,
Prodigy can't think of the three,
Jackson the sub, lock in.
Not everyone has the rational capacity
to make a decision that would be in the interest
of the world's health, wealth and security.
I'm old enough to remember mad,
mutual assured destruction.
It was the realization that if there's a first strike,
While the weapons are airborne, spaceporn, while they're leaving the-
Yeah, you launch all your fucking nukes, and I mean that's why we have nuclear submarines.
Like, that's like the biggest OP part of mad.
It's like, hey, you could nuke the entire continental US, and there's still fucking nine guys on a submarine that'll blow up your country.
Yeah, Mr. That's enough time for you to launch your weapons.
If the country wants to really get at you, they'll attack you and your allies.
So now, everybody starts launching weapons.
If you have total nuclear exchange,
and you ignite the forests and the vegetation of the world.
Does the world not end?
Wouldn't we go, wouldn't we like black out the sun?
This converts living plant tissue into carbon soot
that goes into the air, blocking sunlight.
This was the famous nuclear winter that was described in the early 1980s.
Computing power was just becoming good enough to address the question of what happens if you darken the skies all around the world.
The temperature of the Earth drops.
Plants that depend on sunlight die.
Animals that depend on plants die.
animals that depend on animals that depend on plans die in sequence why are
people in South Africa chilling percent of mortality so 99% of the US would die
why the fuck in South Africa are they like in wassotho chilling depend on
plans die in sequence and you have nuclear
Holocaust not only affecting earth life but plan because where better yo nice
grammar star keep it up now because where better
life and other animal life as well the nuclear winter scenario it assumed that
the weapons would be equally distributed on earth surface that's generally not
how this works. If you're launching nukes, you're going to launch it at the
missile silos that might have other nukes that haven't launched yet, and you're
going to launch it towards cities with multiple nukes coming into the same city.
So you don't look at the spread, that initial calculation that
presumed, but what it did do was birth an entire science of long-term
climate modeling from assaults on the environment. And out of that we got to
you have great confidence that the dinosaurs were taken out
by an asteroid, an asteroid the size of Mount Everest
that struck the Yucatan peninsula off of Mexico,
cast dust into the air, plunging Earth into dust.
Yo, I don't know if this is actually
Sketty's account, brother.
I'm not pinning the message for you, brother.
I don't know why your account cop banned.
I don't know if this is actually Sketty.
If it is, you're good, bro.
I'm sorry, your account cop banned, but...
I
Made an account my girlfriend's friend to tell you my accounts gone the peel I stick out of that mentally
I don't see why I could get it back just want to say it was an honor to be a part of the community
Made several good friends and chat always be tuned into the streams. I
doubt I'll be back
You're okay
You're you're not I mean it's your choice entirely man
You don't need to tap into the stream but you're saying because your twitch account got banned
You're just no longer gonna use twitch
darkness rendering 70% of all species of life on Earth and in the ocean extinct.
The world quickly realized how debil...
He got IP banned.
What did you do?
Where you got IP banned on Twitch?
J.C.
Bender 3.
What's your number one philosophical book recommendation?
our number one book recommendation philosophical philosophical or not
hard-boiled wonderland in the end of the world astrophysics for people in a hurry or
Plato's Republic 70 of the sub Sasha and peanut. There's not projects for the three decks for the sub
I haven't read in a while though lock in chat, please leave this is I really need to tap in chat
What's locked in what's locked in it's not just a bow and an arrow. It's not just fisticut
Tyler thank you for the five if you don't ban all these morons in chat saying the 271 KO that us never watched the stream again
Stand up to and I said anti-Semitism pussy
You are a stupid fuck
Tyler bearish
Let me say that I hope you never watch me again
And I think you're a stupid cock if you think that I would support anybody that's anti-Semitic to begin with I've done
You know multiple things talking about how you know anti-Semitism is wrong
I literally stated my own opinion that the people that think 271k Jewish people died and the numbers are inaccurate are stupid
I have 10,000 people spamming in my chat. You think I see every chat message Tyler bearish you dumb fuck
You think I see every you think I see every chat you dumb fuck
You want to call me a stupid pussy because I didn't ban a fucking chatter that you got aggravated about I have
10,000 people in my fucking stream Tyler bearish you dumb stupid fuck
Do you know that or no, sorry? You don't need to watch me anymore?
I don't support those people neither do 99% of my chatters. I ban a thousand people a stream
I don't catch every bad chatter. My mods don't catch every bad chatter. Okay, do you I literally I mentioned it
I addressed it a chatter said what is your opinion on this? I said that shit's stupid
I shared my take and then there's stupid chatters that are getting banned
Maybe one or two slipped by but if you want to call me a fucking pussy and say I'm never gonna watch your stream
again by all means pal oh I lost a fan oh tough shit I'm really gonna fucking
fist myself over that tonight Tyler get the fuck out of my stream big dog because
you know I don't support anti-Semitism I have family members that are Jewish I am
Ashkenazi Jew as well right I have grandparents that are fully Jewish right
what are you talking about if you support the anti-Semitism you're a
You're a jackass. Did you know that?
Fucking idiot.
No, don't ban him. I want to hear what he said.
Alright, don't ban him. Don't ban him.
Your chat's being anti-Semitic, LMAO. Okay, buddy, whatever. Get some mods.
You're a little bitch. Say that shit and probably you're losing your only talk to the TwitchHackers, you're wanting to get basemen to all our influencers.
Yeah. Oh, basement dwelling influencers.
Why are you calling me a basement dwelling influencer?
I thought you were a fan of me, Tyler Barish.
What happened, buddy?
You literally heard my take. I said I don't agree with that.
Why are we dissing me? What did I do?
Tyler, what's happening, man?
What's going on? Are you just upset about something?
I agree. Whoever this chatter is that saying shit like that should get banned,
and I'm assuming they probably are.
No, they weren't but I will ban them and see that's the thing my mods do ban these people Tyler but it's like you got to realize I have five mods also watching my stream doing other shit and moderating chat.
Any other twitch chat is objectively worse than mine.
Like, I understand people say Joe Bart's chat is terrible, my mods mod better than most mods in other chats.
I will fucking say that. Like, go in another stream, you'll see other worse shit just spam.
People say the N word hard R and won't get banned. Like, that shit happens, right?
So like, my bad, my mods didn't catch one guy that said that, but then for you to say I'm a basement-throwing pussy when you're fucking mad.
No Nick flentes I meant Nick flentes
You're not even talking about Nick flentes. What are you talking about?
I'm upset because your chats full your chat is half full on Holocaust deniers Tyler Barris. Let's read
What's Tyler bearish Tyler Tyler bearish? Let's read. Let's read now evaluate that that that take there you think
50% of my chat is
anti-semitic
50% you think that you're you saw three chatters say stupid shit and you believe that 50% of my chatters think that the Holocaust didn't happen
I've seen you more take action against people just bothering you I'm literally watching and talking about the video
I've seen many chats where they ban that garbage they ban them my mods ban them
Do you want to see the unbanned requests of my mods banning people that just you realize I deny like a hundred unbanned requests?
Beyond the 200 people that get 300 people 400 people to get banned every day
I ban these people from my chat Tyler bearish. I do I
Do sometimes sometimes they slip through the cracks
What
Like I don't understand what you're saying man. Like really you're saying oh it's my mods fault
Why are you not blaming the shitty chatter? Why are you what are you mad about?
This is a crazy ass pole this is wild Joe never expected
Never expected Tyler you sent me a dono and said I will dead ass never watch this stream again
and stand up to anti-Semitism pussy as if I don't do that, right?
And I hadn't just answered a chatter, asking about that, where I literally said,
hey man, no that's stupid, people that think 271k people died instead of 6 million are fucking idiots.
The Holocaust happened and that many people did die.
I addressed it and then I went back to watching the video in which you freaked out
You are way too over and then you to sit here and say oh, I never expected this out of you
What do you think I'm supposed to respond? I'm so sorry by the way free Palestine. Yo, hey free Palestine Tyler
I've done a PCRF charity stream twice now
I've talked about Palestine about a hundred and fifty fucking times on this goddamn stream
So are you trying to put me in there as well or are you trying to say that you're not Zionist?
I don't understand what what what what what is it?
What are we doing?
Like I'm not trying to pin you on the spot here man, but you can't sit here and act shocked
When I crash out on you after you say I'm a pussy for not addressing anti-senitism when I literally did
Like that is just the dumbest shit I've ever seen today.
I mean, I am actually just fucking befuddled at that.
What the fuck?
And chat, relax.
Like, I don't want you to attack Tyler, bro, but it's like, don't come in here and say,
Oh, I'm not gonna watch you again. Oh
Like okay, bro, like we I was locked in on this video. I understand those shatters are horrible
They were getting banned like two guys slipped through the cracks man
I saw like five people type it and I saw my mods being like three of them
And then I just kept talking because I was like, oh, they'll catch him and he catch one guy that said it and
Then you're like if you don't address this when you sent that message by the way, no one was talking about the Holocaust
Literally no one
Like I I just I what do I do I just don't even know man
You can't make people happy no matter what you do no matter what you say you just get that's why I just don't give a shit anymore
more about somebody I'm gonna stop watching you. Okay, do it. Sorry, now I'm going through
on banner requests and denying all of them. Oh my God. Anyways, how many think of the five?
Love your streams views on Palestine. You're amazing as a Palestinian myself. Me and my
dad love watching you. Do you think you're gonna do another PCR off charity stream? Yeah.
I don't know when though.
But yeah, definitely at some point.
I just have the 981 tomorrow.
And then I said I would do the Trevor Project for LTVDQ
mental health in May, early May.
Sorry, Tyler, seriously, man.
But I don't understand what you expected my reaction to be.
They sent like 50 follow-up messages
and they're still not banned.
I banned them, Tyler.
So they're banned, Tyler Barish.
They are banned, Tyler Barish.
I can promise you they are banned, Tyler.
Look.
I banned him.
You think I want him in my chat?
Like, I don't understand, like, this is just so stupid.
Like, you see one shitty chatter and you go,
oh, Joe must be fine with this.
One chatter type something horrible. They don't get banned and we go oh Joe must support this that train of thought is
smooth brain smooth brain like I just can't
Miss you with the explanation Friday no active disease basically there's a still tumor tissue in my body
But it's assumed to all be dead sorry for the paragraph. You're good Cooper of the subject think of the three
It's gonna see you won't watch any more do you IP banned watch the streams on this main area can actually can make any accounts
Cooper thinking of the sun up at the top, okay
Alright, you own the multiple shit at once. I would love to get back into this video that I was locked into.
Uh, King take it into the three. I'm scared to shave my pubes. Okay, man.
Uh, okay, so we good. Well, I'm not good with you, Tyler. I think you really piss me off if I'm being honest.
I don't understand how you said that shit. And then, like, this is just, it's over the top chat, to say the least.
I, like, I, okay, so we good. Yeah, I'm good.
I don't know if you're good here, if I'm being honest.
Like, if you're- I'm gonna stop watching you, you're pussy, okay?
Fuck, man. Like, do you realize how you- you were annoying? Do you get that?
I understand you have the valid point of anti-Semitism is bad,
but to see an anti-Semitic chatter, see a lot of them get banned, one slip through the cracks,
And then you would argue with him and him not get banned and needed now you see how fast my chat is going
Do you see how fast my chat is going? You think I could read every chat Tyler?
I'm watching the video. I'm talking looking at the video. I look at chat glance chat look back. Oh, sorry
I'm not reading every chat. I
Don't read it 99% of chats
I'm crashing out, I gotta calm down.
You dropped it and moved like it wasn't gonna stir it, because you dropped it and moved
like it wasn't gonna cause a stir, it's politically loaded.
Caused a stir, I didn't think I'd have five fucking dumb ass cuckchatters that think
the holocaust didn't happen.
Politically loaded, you're an idiot if you think the holocaust didn't happen.
You're a fucking dumb ass.
I don't know! I moved on! Because why am I giving that shit attention?
If you think the holocaust didn't happen, you're a dumbass!
Why would I feed into that, Tyler?
It's better for me to go, nah, that shit's stupid.
Yes.
And then move on! Because why am I feeding in to idiocy?
Did you want me to crash out on them the entire time?
They're just gonna get banned!
Why do you give them the fucking time of day?
I crash out all the time, but one of the best things that I've tried to put into perspective
and use, which I'm terrible at, but I tried to do there and clearly that upset you, is
to not give idiots time of day.
Why would I feed into their shitty fucking conspiracy theories made out of fucking
crack and ketamine when it's there's no point in talking to them if they think
the Holocaust didn't happen or they think the earth's flat or some other fucking
whack shit they're stupid they're insane they're not normal people so if they
type some crazy shit I go they're probably just getting a fan and then I
move on so I gave my take I said yeah that's anti-Semitic and nuts and then
moved on. I'm done with this. We're locking back in. It is an asymmetry in
Warf... Please don't send bets right now. Amelia for the three.
Let's go, uh, Chef Ant and Das for the sub arc for the three. King for the three.
Am I making sense?
Fair that had never been seen before oh my gosh
Why why do I let that shit piss me off? Why do I let that shit piss me off?
I didn't mean to upset you. You did because you you did you did you did you did don't lie you did
You sent the dono and said you're a pussy and you're a you were basically
Insinuating that I agree with anti-Semitism. That's what you were doing
You did that flat out it's in the chats. That's what you said
The big thing of the three
Love the content. Thank you, man. Ruin off the sub. Sorry.
I'm not going to ban you, Tyler, but come on, man. Let's use our head, buddy.
You know, you were an anti-Semitic. You were standing up for people that are,
or we're not standing up for people that aren't, standing up against people that are, excuse me.
So I respect that. But to come at me and my mods is insane, right?
when it's clearly the insane chatters that are the ones to blame that's what
I'm saying don't shit on my mods my mods do a fucking great job okay see that
pissed me off too
I'm reminded of a quote from Albert Einstein I'm done talking about it lock
to fucking I'm done talking about it lock the fucking and I'm sorry Tyler I
crashed out on you man because at the end of the day I don't want to I don't want
to fucking upset your day and ruin your day man but it's like you from my
perspective brother I don't stand for anti-Semitism you know I don't stand for
anti-Semitism I said that five minutes prior why would I feed into those
idiots that's why I moved on it's not like anytime somebody asks me a
question that could be like moderately political or controversial, I have to
stand and talk about it for 15 minutes. I gave my take and I moved on.
Lock in. What happened? You're late to the party, brother. Lock in. Lock in. Type
lock in. We're locking in and let's go. It's not just a bow and an arrow. It's
not just fisticuffs. It is an asymmetry in warfare that had never been seen before. I'm reminded
of a quote from Albert Einstein. I don't know how World War 3 will be fought, but I know
that World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones. That's where war and the science
of war has taken us. Scientists had historically been complicit in the waging of war. Governments,
be they warmongering or otherwise, have always reached for the ingenuity and creativity of
scientists and engineers. Of all stripes. You know, where do you get chemical weapons
from? You go to the chemist, the bio warfare, you go to the biologist, the astrophysicist.
We don't make bombs, we don't know, but we care about multi-spectral imaging in dark places.
We care about coordinates on Earth and in the heavens.
We care about timing.
What is a physicist and expert at?
It's matter, motion, and energy.
And what is a military battle of any kind?
I have energy over here, and I want to put it over there.
It could be I have a bullet here sitting in my gun, but I want to put that bullet
over there with energy that I give it.
I have a bow and arrow.
I pull the string pumping potential energy into the bow.
When I let go, the bow springs forward,
the arrow goes sending kinetic energy
over here to over there.
That is the basis of essentially every military conflict.
conflict. There is no war that is one without the exploitation of science and technology
at its center. A little bit about me and my history. I grew up.
It's just sad that like the advancement of science and technology is driven through
the need to advance to be another in a war. Like we're not we money never gets put.
I'm not saying money never gets put.
Money doesn't go towards the sciences
in the amount that it should,
unless we need them to make some crazy shit to kill people.
And it's like, that's when they're funded the most.
In the 60s and stuff.
It's like, hey, we're gonna give you
this small stipend per year in, you know,
fucking relative to the amount of money
that say the United States makes a year.
We're gonna give you this little sliver,
this little slice.
but hey, we need to make you a nuclear bomb.
You have infinite money, infinite money,
any amount of money that you need,
we're gonna give it to you.
70s, all I ever knew was the Vietnam War.
I grew up in an era where war is bad.
US uses it for military,
that's why China's more modern.
They take two different approaches to war.
China's approach to war is a lot more funding
other countries to do the work that they want them to
versus the United States
that is brute forcing their way into conflicts
and trying to resolve them themselves.
Like China kind of sits,
China would never get involved in wars the way that we do.
They are a very long,
long-term looking people in the way that they're like,
hey, this is gonna probably blow up in your face
in about five years.
So they're just gonna watch let it happen.
And then maybe throw money towards a country
that's somewhat involved and be like,
hey, we'll provide this for you and this for you.
They also artificially reduce the value of their dollar
to increase the amount of money that they're still put.
There's like, China's money should be worth way more
than it is.
Like their dollars should be worth more than it is,
but they artificially lower it
so they can just constantly government fund shit
because their output is so high
and China makes so much money through factories
that their dollars should be worth way more.
What is happening right now?
What are people talking about in chat?
Tyler Barish, you did not need to give me five fucking subs.
I'm, Tyler, don't give me money, man.
I'm not, I appreciate the subs.
I'm not mad at you anymore.
I'll forget about this in 30 minutes.
I'm serious, I will forget about this in 30 minutes.
But like, I need you to know
that I don't support anti-Semitism, man.
And the way that you approached me was so like, whoa.
Like, I called you, you didn't ruin my day,
I called you a pussy, it's a fair response,
it's frustrating to see this everywhere,
my family fully died in the Holocaust.
And I'm so sorry for that, man, that's terrible.
And these people would say I'm lying.
I get this daily in a polysia,
I didn't expect it here at all.
I know you're anti-Semitic, I feel like there's a line
where it becomes the streamer slash mods team's
responsibility, not that they aren't supportive of it,
but not banning it, proliferates it, that's all I meant.
You end up with Aiden Ross chat, my bad boss.
I'm not gonna have Aiden Ross's chat, bro.
I, my mods ban those people.
The problem is,
auto mod, we have a million ban terms, right?
And slurs for Jewish people
and anti-Semitic messaging in general gets flagged.
And in the way that it shows up on the mod menu,
they get instant ban.
My mods click a button in their band.
But when chats flying by the way that it is,
my mods can only see chats
the way that a regular human would,
because it doesn't flag the number 241,000.
So when people are typing the number 241K
and they're either agreeing or disagreeing with that number.
It doesn't auto-mod flag it to my mods,
so they can only manually ban
and see the chats that show up.
And in 30 seconds, all those chats are gone, right?
They can't see them.
So it's hard to catch it.
So they only see some of them, right?
I get what you're saying though.
And I'm truly sorry for the loss
of your fucking family members in the Holocaust.
That is horrible.
But I just want you to know that my chat,
the majority of my chat,
I'm saying broad majority,
99.9% of my chatters are not anti-Semitic and of that I
Don't support anti-Semitism as well and neither do my mods. It's just like it's hard to catch those people sometimes
Atomic for the subject a for the five gifted scarf for the sub I am the sub you didn't need to give me subs though
And I don't want to ban you bro, but it's just like I
Got mad when you called me a pussy instead of your stop watching me because that shit was like bro
Come on. I I get your reasoning now though, and thank you for telling you that but
Let's move on.
it with the Vietnam War, but at all these other times war was commemorated with pride
and dare I say even celebrated. What's that's what kind of memorial day and veteran's day is all
about. You are celebrating. It is very weird because I don't support war, but I do support veterans.
I don't think because I don't think that the veteran and the guy that's in the war is the
The reason the war is happening, the reason the war is happening is because of people that
aren't veterans.
It's the idea that like I support somebody in the military and say, hey, thank you for
your service because you're protecting our country.
And I commend that.
And I commend veterans as well.
But it's like you could still just not support war because the reason that the war is
happening is because of higher ups that are beyond that.
who fought in wars and commemorating those who died in wars. This is a celebration, a recognition
where in the Vietnam era there was none of that. So that's where I was forged. My sense of war was
forged, but my rational mind was saying, what is the rest of this about? There are occasions
where yeah war is necessary a bad actor rises up whose interests do not comport
with what we might think of as civilization the preservation and prolonging of civilization
as we have built it and as we have come to embrace it easily who comes to mind of course is
in off Hitler. Yes, there are times when you are fighting evil forces. Yeah, that's like a I think
that's what's perceived a lot differently historically, war wise, like people going to
fight in World War Two was seen as like, oh, I actually kind of it's not even dodging the draft.
It's like, I want to be in this like there would be guys that are too young or didn't get
medically clear that we're trying to sneak their way into the army so they could fight.
But that's drastically different where you're fighting an evil versus like a Vietnam war where it's just like we're fighting a battle because we don't like that they're, you know,
involved in some sort of fear of the iron curtain during this Cold War era. It's like,
I don't think any war should be fought, but it's like I get the,
the war based need to stop a dictator like that.
But you have to ask who defines who's evil.
In starting and making a war, not the right is what matters, but victory.
The strongest has the right.
It's hard to argue against the idea that to protect freedom is a good thing.
And the fact that-
Why, I don't understand why presidents that start wars don't do a 1v1, why drag all of civilization into something they don't want,
because then you're, you're hedging your bet on who wins the war off of who could fucking kill each other in a 1v1,
and most of the time people in power are old as fuck.
We're like the only animal that puts people in power and has the people that have the highest amount of power that aren't the strongest,
or even necessarily the smartest, right?
Obviously, that could be the case in certain instances where people democratically elect the right person,
but for the most part, you could kind of manipulate your way to the top when in reality you're dumbass.
Like, that's just democracy in election-based voting in general.
It's not even in dictatorships. It's the same way.
It's like if people are in power, they can kind of manipulate their way around that.
That's just like any political structure in general.
Freedom isn't always free. It reminds me...
Robert with a sub note for the five.
Cold War Stream Day, I wanna let you know.
I'm glad to watch the stream.
Thank you.
Low key and hands for the sub T and scar for the sub.
All right, lock in.
I saw a comic long ago where two people
are facing each other with a bow and arrow.
Pointed right at each other's necks.
And each one says at the same time,
the harder I pull, the safer I feel.
It's like, really?
As a scientist, when we disagree with one another,
we might argue our case vociferously.
Some people are a little more emotionally invested
in their ideas than others.
So it can get heated.
But at the end of the day, you know what we say to each other?
We need more data.
When more data come in and then it resolves the conflict,
then we agree, go out have a beer,
and then move on to the next frontier question.
That's the brain wiring of a scientist,
is not the brain wiring of politicians
or of many other sort of sectors of society
where they need to interact with others.
I've had some exposure to military operations.
I never served in the military, not as a soldier,
but I did serve on a board of the Pentagon,
the Defense Innovation Board.
It was an attempt to alert the military that
the strength in armies going forward,
the strength of nations going forward,
is not measured by how many soldiers are on the ground.
It's not even necessarily measured
by how many nukes you have in your silos.
It could be measured by how clever you are
with either computing or calculations or strategies
that come from a place that's not just
how big is your weapon?
You look at the reasons why people have fought wars
over the years.
A common one is access to limited resources.
I want what you have.
I need what you have.
Oh, you're not gonna-
I think that's modern day war usually revolves around that,
but it also could be around what?
Like belief sets, like a religious war.
Share it.
You're not gonna give it to me
therefore I'm gonna take it.
Well you can only do that. You can only threaten to do that if you have the resources, the
financial resources, the scientific resources, the engineering resources. Other reasons why
people fight with limited access to resources? Yes. Religion. Again I come to it as a scientist.
If there's a batch of scientists over there who say, E doesn't equal MC squared, E equals
MC cubed? Are we going to go to war over that? No. I would say no, let me show you why that
is not true. And I would damage. I don't know. I kind of I kind of don't understand
Neil's, I guess, analogy here in that I'm not saying, oh, religious wars should be fought.
But the idea of having a scientific argument where you say equals MC squared, the other
person says equals MC cubed, and you have to prove your work versus them proving
boils down to an argument of fact rather than subjective faith.
And if you have two people that are different religions
and maybe even different just denominations of the same religion,
disagreeing historically, maybe like Protestants and Catholics or something like that,
it can't just be like, oh, here's why I'm right,
because you can't prove it similar to they can't prove by their right,
can't prove why they're right because at the end of the day, it's faith, right?
You believe that you're right.
They believe they're right.
It's there's no hard line in the sand of this is what's true.
This is what's not traded with experiments and examples.
That doesn't work as well when you have belief systems.
If you come from a belief system, then what you believe doesn't have
the evidence that science would normally require to establish what is objectively true.
That's why they're called belief systems, because you believe that something is true.
You may believe it so strongly that you know it's true, but that's an internal emotion
that you carry.
Belief systems are such that it may be true for you, but it's not really true for
other people unless you convince them of it. And since it's based on belief.
That's that. That's when I said it was like individual objectivity, but worldwide subjectivity.
And I was like clowned on for that saying, but I feel like it makes perfect sense. It's like
religion in somebody's mind where they're faithful is objectively true to the person,
but subjective to the majority because it's like I believe this through and through, but you also
have to recognize that like that is not the case for everyone else. Rational arguments tend to not
work. You need methods of coercion or force, ultimately threat of violence, perhaps even threat
out of death. And so some of the most violent encounters civilization has ever had with itself
is when one war infection has a belief system that differs from that of their adversary.
It's interesting to ask of ourselves in society, is there anything you would die for?
You get one chance in life. What I have found is that the
Probably other
Like I would die. I would die for like my mom. I would die. I think like other people I
don't think there is a
Well, maybe against another thing like I could see that in the war based thing we're like the example for World War two
like would I die defending my own point or I don't even think it would be dying
defending my own point maybe defending like of rights of some sorts you know
what I mean like what would I die fighting for I think that's a very
complex question like you're if somebody's like threatening your own you
know, way of life. Less future children, something like that, tangible. The thing is you're fighting
for the more abstract it is, the less evidence there is in support of it, the more willing
people are to die for it. And so war always seems to be this glorious thing at the beginning.
And then the body bags start coming back and not only military casualties, but civilian
casualties just trying to live their lives who are now susceptible to decisions made by people in
power who generally are not themselves the same people who go do the fighting I find that and I
hate that I fucking hate that I love the old way of war like Spartans where the leader fought
in the fucking front because I guarantee you every fucking war that people fight
for today they wouldn't fight for themselves meaning the guys in power
like the guys you're crazy I'm not crazy the guys that put these we went to war
with Iran Trump would not go Trump would not go to Iran Trump would not go
Putin would not go to Ukraine, right?
I know he did fight, but I'm saying,
like I know Putin was involved in the military,
but I'm saying, I don't think he would go today.
Like, because they realize,
hey, this is a death sentence.
Like, if you send somebody there, they're dead.
You know, the odds they come back is low.
And you're not caring that much
that you're willing to die for it,
but you're fine if other people die for it.
dismaying just being human in civilization as a scientist.
Trump would. Trump would not, Gabby. Come on, man.
But it's we-
Come on, man. Now you're age-gating, big dog. You think he'd get on the front lines?
No, he would not. You know he wouldn't. He's a nepo baby. He's a nepo baby that has never been in any military scenario in his life.
his life. Do you think he would go fucking fight on the front lines for this shit? No.
No. And it happens. And that's
Same with Biden. Okay, well, both of them are in their 80s. So I don't think no. But
How the world is
Even if they were younger
Put together with or without the League of Nations coming out of the First World
War with or without the United Nations after the Second World War with charters
that are signed Geneva conventions the end of the day you can ask the question can we just all get along
bro i do ask that but it i think everybody wants that but then it it does it does get
to a point where the disagreements become louder and louder and louder and louder and then and
And then people just kill each other.
Slightly more positive note.
All the UFOs people have been seeing in the sky,
lights that we can't explain.
I'm glad some part of the military budget
is going to investigating them.
Because people have been seeing them for decades.
I've never seen anything that I couldn't identify.
I know a lot about weather and climate and sky conditions
and planets and moon and what they do and weird things
that they do.
So I've never seen anything I couldn't explain.
So it was all IFOs to me,
but maybe some of these UFOs would pose a danger to us.
Again, to a health, our welfare, or our security, maybe.
So I'd want the military to check it out.
And if it's a threat from space,
maybe the greatest task of all
would be to protect Earth from aliens.
That is like a common take that if we,
one of the best ways we achieve world peace
is fighting another alien race.
Cause the only way everybody eventually agrees
and stops killing each other is
if we have something bigger and batter
that is threatening to kill all of us.
Because why do our problems matter
if we're both gonna be dead?
So let's kill that thing first.
In fact, in the 1980s, President Reagan, addressing the U.S.
Some of you in the chat just said that, and said just that.
He said, here we are with all of our differences, he was still in the Cold War, by the way.
With all of our differences, imagine how close we would be together if we had to
fight a common enemy, such as an invader for space.
We need some outside universal threat to make us recognize this common bound
If that's what it takes for us to get along, I guess so
But I still believe yeah, I believe in the power of conversation
And the power of coexistence
Is that I don't know man
Like I hope that it's just like dude. There's too many jackasses. There's way too many jackasses in the world
And everybody always makes mistakes, I make mistakes, everybody makes mistakes, but it's more so like there's so many people that have absurd opinions that get into crazy amounts of power and then use that to kill people or instill their values in a very weird way, whether it be ethnic cleansing or forced sterilization or other fucking crazy shit.
And then you can't ignore that.
What makes a beautiful world that we can all be different but yet all
be together
with common causes common goals that are sensible rational saying and
We'll feed the future of our health our wealth and our security
Thanks for listening
Until next time keep looking up
Cinema actual cinema star talk
Love star talk dude fucking five million views Jesus
Intended audience is not watching star talk very true
very true
Part of the problem part of the problem of the algorithm the people that need to see this won't
All right
Well chat that was the W stream we're gonna call that there
If you have any videos you're gonna watch or games you want me to play video system
I'm going to be live three to eight doing the nine eight eight awareness challenge awareness slash support challenge.
It'll be like a five hour stream. We're going to be doing a bunch of support games bunch of shit. It'll be fun tomorrow. That's the schedule Tuesday. I'm not live Wednesday is going to be horror games into retro rewind Thursday not live Friday's react Saturday.
It'll be fun.
Tomorrow, that's the schedule.
Tuesday, I'm not live.
Wednesday is going to be horror games into retro Rewind.
Thursday not live.
Friday's Reacts.
Saturday, random games into Content King.
Sunday Reacts.
Monday's 4.20, mystery lead box review
into the mystery snack box review.
And then GeoGuess are the 24th.
May 4th or 5th, we'll probably do like Trevor Project
for a charity stream, rather.
And then I'm taking a short break,
I'm in a video with Jack for like five days seven through the 11th of May and then we'll go there
I'll grow from there rookie frog into the sub anime. Oh god triple and stash for the sub real for the sub
Ick and mo thinking of the five, but yeah chat w string appreciate y'all. Hope you had fun and who do we raid?
Who do we raid
I'm not gonna go back to my name, Tretcher, Jesus.
Okay.
Ahhhh, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba.
Ah.
Uh, uh.
Small fries. I do see small fries is doing a prize pool,
super battle golf tournament, which is very chill.
Cloak, I rated Cloak yesterday.
So I don't know if I'm going to rate him two days in a row,
but I will rate him soon. I know he started his SMP.
So we'll definitely read them again. I I hope that's going well as well. Kayla. Thank you for the sub. All right
We'll read small flies
Trap appreciate y'all. I'll be on fun and I'll see y'all tomorrow at 3 EST for the 98 stream. Appreciate y'all