Joe_Bartolozzi
OPENING RANDOM GAMBLE SOAPS + REACT BEFORE STREAMER GAMES JOIN JOIN JOIN
07-30-2026 · 4h 32m
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You
How's everybody doing on this fan-fucking-tastic Thursday, everybody?
Chat, we are doing a very, not very special, a kind of special stream today.
Clap it up.
It's half of this and half of Reacts.
This segment shouldn't take too long, hopefully.
Chat, here's the schedule.
Today, we're going to be opening everything you see in front of me.
We're doing a bit of an unconventional gambling stream where everything here is potentially valuable or potentially worthless.
I'll do a little, a better intro in a second here.
After that, we're going to hop on Reacts.
Maybe a game near the end of stream.
I don't really know.
It's probably just going to be Reacts after this.
Tomorrow, I'm not live.
I'm good.
This next week's going to be real weird.
Tomorrow, I'm not live.
Saturday, Sunday, I'm co-streaming the streamer games.
I'm going to be vlogging as well.
I'll have my GoPro for the events,
and I'm going to be vlogging LA in general,
but I will not be, like,
in person-to-person talking to chat.
I'll be live.
I'll be co-streaming Ludwig's POV of the streamer games,
but I will not be, like, at a desktop or talking to chat, okay?
So you'll just see the the streamer games run time or like the streamer games overall broadcast itself thrown in sub only
Also, please during um
During a streamer games, just keep it in sub only the whole time. I'd never take it out
Just cuz I'm not gonna be here and I know chat's just gonna be annoying
And I don't know how many mods are gonna be here. I'm not trying to be a dick to the non subs
It's just like if I'm not here at all and it's streamer games and I'm co-streaming it. There's just gonna be people spamming
So I'll just have it in sub only like probably
Sub only like one minute slow mode during streamer games if I'm being honest
Anyways, yeah, this segment reacts today tomorrow not live Monday or Sunday a Saturday Sunday the first and second
I'm going to be co-streaming streamer games. I think that's actually like four to
It's 4 to 10 PM EST both days.
So it'll be a later stream.
In LA, it'll be at like one, because of the time difference.
But I think I'll be live Saturday,
Sunday between like 4 PM EST and 10 PM EST.
What is EST?
Eastern Standard Time.
Holy.
I'm gonna guess that you're not asking that
because you don't know what,
I'm guessing you're asking that because you live in like the UK or something
You're not knowing what EST is is wild. Anyways, um
My god anyways
Yeah, reacts in this today tomorrow not live Saturday Sunday first second coaster makes your games the third through the sixth
I'm not live. So I this is the last stream at this desktop for the next week. Okay, are we recognizing that type one?
if you're understanding because when I talk and I say this shit people don't pay attention and then
three days from now they're gonna go where's Joe? Why is it Joe why? I've been sitting in this chat
for four hours because you're a fucking idiot. I'm saying this to your fucking face right now and then
you still show up on Tuesday at 9 a.m. and you're sitting in chat for six hours waiting for me to
to go live and I'm like dude I said I wasn't even gonna be live that day at all let alone at that
time I just don't anyways oh my god so I'm gone the 31st back for a second coast river games
then I'm gone the third through the sixth I'm gone for four days I'm gone for a day back for two
gone for four okay I'm gonna be vlogging I'll be doing a collab with a youtuber as well that'll
It'll be a video when I get back.
I'm gonna react to my events for streamer games for a video.
I'll have the vlog as a video.
When we're back, it'll be the 7th of August.
I'll probably stream for like a week straight.
Just a bunch of games, new games dropping,
uncanny-tailed skin stapler.
We have a fucking Jinxie rainbow tournament.
Let me get back.
We're doing the UK versus US cereal review finally.
I had to reship small fries, all the US cereal
because the UK customs fucking took it or some shit.
and it got fucking destroyed.
So I had to send that shit back
and I had to pay $850 in shipping.
What the fuck?
It was $850 to ship 10 boxes of cereal.
What the fuck?
Why was it that much money?
I don't know.
I didn't ask, I went, okay, it wasn't even like expedited.
It was just like, this is the price for shipping.
Oh no, multi-millionaire.
Brother, it's not oh no, multi-millionaire.
I'm sending $100 of cereal for almost $1,000.
That's objectively stupid as fuck.
Anyways, we'll be doing that when we get back as well.
So I'll be streaming the seventh to the 13th every day.
Then I'm gone, the 14th, 15th, 16th,
I'm gone for three days.
Then I'm back for three days, gone for four days.
We're going to be doing the FNAF two challenge
because I lost to Yugi Brovy Bro on August 18th.
I know that's like three weeks away,
or like two and a half weeks away,
but I'm literally gone next week,
so I can't do it then,
and then I already had a bunch of shit planned.
So August 18th, we're gonna do the FNAF II,
I have to play FNAF II until I beat it wearing a bunny suit.
And then the next day, the 19th,
we're gonna do a charity stream.
Then I'm gone for four days,
and then I'm back for the rest of the summer.
So we got a lot of breaks this August.
Gone tomorrow, back for two days, gone for four, back for seven,
gone for three, back for three, gone for four.
It doesn't matter for most of you.
Just know that I'll be posting on YouTube while I'm gone,
and when I'm here, I'm here.
We're doing the Long John Silver's review soon coming up.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to start
getting the try not to laugh next time, collabed up,
or collage together, compiled together rather.
And then what?
Is there anything else before we need to get in?
No, I don't think so.
The reason I'm just doing this long intro right now
is because I will be gone like on and off
for the next like six days.
So I just wanted to say that in the beginning of stream.
Where's the sub goal at?
I don't have that on just chatting stream.
That's just always been the case.
Or they're just chatting screen rather like this.
There's never something to just chat.
Top left or top right.
It's inverted, confuses me.
C dot ultimate, Y2 thing over the sub,
I love the content you've tried to start creating.
I strive to be as popular as you one day.
Just to my own knees, thank you for being who you are.
Thank you, and good luck, bro.
Also, a bit of a substitute for thank you for the three.
Recently lost my house in a fire.
I'm sorry to hear that, man.
I hope you're okay.
Juan, full, big, James and Jock.
Thank you for the subway.
Thank you for the three.
Tyg, Shadow, Mr. FY at thick.
Thank you for the three senior year in high school.
I'm really interested in psychology.
Just curious if your opinion on careers of it or philosophy.
I can't really help you there.
People ask me questions like that a lot,
questions like that a lot.
And it's just like,
I don't think you should be asking a Twitch streamer that
regardless of whether or not I got a philosophy degree.
I don't think my opinion carries any weight
on whether or not you should go to college
for psychology or not.
That's like entirely your opinion, you know?
Mr. Shee, FY, go to Patty J for the sub-scale,
think of the three.
Land it really and K, think of the sub,
give me a random song to play on the guitar, free bird.
Ghost, think of the three.
Broad Nether Big, JJ, Moose, Iceberg, Jim, The Wizard,
Hamburg, Joe Goofy, take it with a three.
Torres, take it with a three.
Chat's all 10 bits right now.
Pole and Gang, take it with a sub.
Me and I love it with a sub.
Parish, hold up, I'll read that in a second.
Mars, Tristan, Buff, Enoch, G-Bowl, take it with a three.
Juan, and Flex, take it with a sub.
Again, Torres, take it with a three.
I wanna say, take it probably through the hard times
you make me, you helping me makes me wanna get help others.
So thank you for everything,
And you reading this makes me happy and grateful.
I've been seen and heard from my favorite streamer.
We'll take it with a three, bro.
And I'm glad I'm able to read your message
and make you feel seen.
But yeah, I don't really know what else I could say.
I love the meatball thing of the sub.
Ace thing of the 2000 monitors for videos.
You should check out Ranch on stream video,
slash shop, game, slash shop.
It's how I find most of the videos
that I watch the games I play.
One Fred and Mark thing of the subcloak.
Armin thing of the sub.
Jordan Prime, JJ, but the sub cutie thing of the three.
There was a small house fire in our size house
so I started blowing it out and put it out,
fanning it with a pillow.
Mars, thank you for the five.
Can we do a math review?
No, Commander for the sub, Mars, thank you for the three.
Saber, thank you for the three.
Foul, thank you for the sub, Granger for the sub.
Lazy, thank you for the 10, gay bitties!
Do you watch UFC?
I do.
Who's your favorite fighter?
I don't have one.
I'm not that much of a UFC fan,
and I'm not gonna lark that I'm a super fan
of any individual fighter.
I do like Patty Pimbalet.
I do like, well, I watch most of his fights,
but I wouldn't say I have a favorite fighter
or that I know that much about UFC.
Legion, Thomas, the Green Fallen Panics,
they give it a seven.
Lazy, they give it a pity, he's again, chat.
Don't send bits right now, we got a hop into the segment.
No more bits, no more bits, no moss, no moss.
Let's go.
Let's go, we got a lot, we got to get through today, chat.
Last stream at this desktop for the next week.
We got a lot of segments we got to do,
we got to get this done, we got some reacts,
maybe a game as well, lock in, chat.
So what are we doing today?
So why did somebody just say run predictions?
And you all say I'm addicted to gambling.
Are we running predictions on whether or not
I find anything valuable in this?
What are we running predictions on?
Whether or not I get a diamond?
Newsflash, no.
Newsflash, no.
Right, before we even hop into this,
I can tell you right now,
all of this is gonna be a scam.
This is literally to prove that it's a scam.
All right, so this is what we're doing right now.
As you can see, I have a variety of things in front of me.
I have money soaps, right?
I have money, it says up to $100 in each one,
I have five of them.
I have three bath bombs that potentially have money,
gold, or valuables in them.
I have 10 gold bars.
One in every 24 boxes has real gold in them.
And then I have 12 diamond boxes.
And one in every 24 of them,
one in every 24 of them has a real surprise diamond.
I bet that shit's fake too, if you read the fine print.
Anyways, the premise of this video
is that I wanted to do all these unconventionally gambling
methods, the things you would see at a Walmart that
look like you could make money off of them,
but in reality, they're a little steamy.
And it's like, how honest is that?
That one in every 24 of these has something valuable.
So we're going to be opening all of these today.
Now, everything you see in front of me cost a total of,
I believe, $540.
The most expensive things were these and the soaps.
These, I think each bath bomb was like $20 or like 15 bucks.
And then each of these was probably around the same.
All of this was like probably like 80 bucks.
And then these, I think these were more than the diamonds.
I think the diamonds were,
and this might've been like 85, 90 bucks.
This was probably around the same.
And then this was probably like,
this might've been like $100 for these.
Actually, let me look that up.
I can actually see what I bought.
I wanna know, should we have like a general total
of how much these cost?
Just so we know if we profit.
Yeah, I bought the gold billionaire bath bomb.
Each of them is $20 pre-tax.
So this is just 60 bucks pre-tax in itself.
I don't even know what it says.
It's just a surprise hidden item inside.
That could literally mean anything.
The money soaps,
the money soaps,
actually it might have been less than $500 bucks.
I might be on crack.
No, these were like $20 each.
These were $20 each as well, pre-tax.
So this all total is probably $200 bucks
and then this is probably like one fit.
Actually, no, it's probably like $400 bucks total
I put into this.
Okay, so that makes it a lot easier to make profit.
That makes it a lot easier to make profit.
Now, what I think we have the highest odds
of actually making money on is these.
I think the money soaps have legitimate cash inside of them.
And I think there is a chance that I get a $10 bill
or a $20 bill.
But that's the thing is for me to even break
even on the money soap,
each money soap has to have $20 in them.
And it's like, okay,
I could you you're getting the value of the soap bar as well
But is anybody really using money soap to wash their body?
Probably not
Nick the boss thank you for the five gifted subs cheese for the sub I need this up
Yeah, I'm destroyed thinking of the 10 gifted try go Joe bar from sub Kenzie Israel
It's Michaela Papa and flamingo for the subway and then think of the three young King of Charlie cart
Uh, Skelethink of the Thousand Butteys, Henry, Benjamin, a user of the sub, Ali, uh, Ice, Zaza, Panic, and Slythe of the sub.
I'm not gonna be able to read bitterners right now, Chad, I apologize.
Alright.
Do we wanna play some vibe music while we open these?
Oh, also, I have...
I have a few things.
I'm gonna lay out a paper towel when we open these fucking things.
Because these are grainy as shit.
I don't know if you've ever opened any of these.
I've never opened the Diamond one.
I've opened one of the gold ones before, and they are dog shit terrible.
They...
It's like a Nusra grain...
Or not a Nusra grain bar.
It's like a nature valley bar. They're really sandy and they just get everywhere. Um, I bought these
This is like a gardening tool
So I could cut into the money soaps
And maybe these I also have a tub of water outside of this door for the uh bath bombs
And these if we need them it depends how hard these are to break into
What do we want to start with?
I can we start I feel like we should end with these
because these are, this is the valuable stuff.
You wanna start with a money soap?
We could hop around.
Let's start with one money soap.
That'll just get the vibe going.
We'll start with a money soap
and we have 12 of these diamond things.
So then we'll hop into those.
Should I, I'm gonna move these down.
This was just for show for the intro.
We'll move this to the side.
These will go over here.
Just we have some space to work with, you know.
Let me turn on some music.
Let me turn on some fucking tunes.
Non-copyright oil-fi.
Coming in.
Editor, throw it on.
Joey, take it with the five.
Gifted's BM, that.
Z-Dog, pizza and spoo, take it with the sub.
Tristan, Joey, take it with the thousand.
But he's cheese, Nick.
And Unbee, take it with the sub.
Are you IRLing with Jynxie?
Yeah, streamer games.
All right, yo.
Not myself, though.
I'm co-streaming.
He's IRLing.
I'll probably be on his stream some of it,
just because I'm his teammate.
But all right, starting out, money soap number one.
Ew, it smells like green apple, or is that placebo?
It smells actually really good.
It smells really good, but it's getting all over my hands.
It's like disintegrating really quickly.
That's in this is, that's like waterproof,
because they don't want you to break the fucking dollar
So I have to cut this open and then cut the dollar open and then there should be like a folded bill in there
At least that's how I assume this will work
How should I get into this? Oh?
What a play Joe what a fucking play I knew this was the move I knew this was the move to buy these hedge clippers
$100 come on
Do we do a little side segment where if we profit I just pour it into CS cases? No
Maybe we'll see the odds that I profit are very low. There's like a cross-section here
This is very very cheaply made you could see how I just did that
They made this because they know people just want to get into the fucking money and that's all they care about
This is like next level degenerative gambling
All right
first one
First one is it going to be a hundred dollars? Let's guess
It says up to a hundred bucks
I'm going to guess that there is $5.
I'll be wishful.
I'll be wishful off rep.
More than likely, I think it's just a $1 bill.
You know what would be really cool is a $2 bill.
I wouldn't be upset about that, because that would just
be like, ooh, a little rare fine, you know?
Lucky to set the tone for the rest.
I just don't want to cut the bill.
That would suck if I actually cut the money.
The big reveal.
Maybe not a big reveal.
Maybe a lot harder to get into this than I thought it would be.
OK, hold on.
There we go.
How to tear a piece.
And?
And?
What is that?
To me, Unfolded, that looks like a one.
I think that's a $1 bill.
It's a Washington.
It's a Washington one.
Yo, editor, money lost minus $18.
We are down.
Also, this looks like an old-ass one now.
Why does it look like it's disintegrating?
Cash out.
There it is.
There it is.
Money counter.
Money counter.
Hell, yeah, $1.
That's profit.
That's a fake one. I don't think that's a fake one.
Do you want to open all the money soaps off rep or should we just get into other stuff too?
I feel like the money soaps are like the ones that we have a chance to profit.
Dude, I kind of do want to just get to them now.
I don't know.
Let me lay out a paper towel. Let me, let's just do one gold.
Let's, let's get a vibe of the gold real quick.
Because these are going to be really fucking annoying to open.
And they're so sandy dude. I remember them being so sandy now in the gold
I don't know if you guys could see this very well. This is the options of the things that you could get
It's obsidian stone rainbow stone pyrite and then one in 24 boxes have real gold
Do you think that's true? How are they making money?
If one in 24 has real gold with today's gold prices, is it like
0.2 grams
It has to be like ten dollars of gold
There's no way like it's not gonna be like a gram
It's not a gram of gold a gram of gold like a hundred something dollars right now
See like it comes in this stupid pack
And and this is what they give you this is for like toddlers by the way, you're supposed to like polish it
they give you a plastic mallet a
semi-pseudo paintbrush and then a scooper and
I am not doing any of that bullshit. I could already tell this is gonna flake everywhere
Should I just put this in the fucking
Should we try should I I'll try and open it like this I feel like I should just put it in the tub of water
I have
Should I just soak all of these in water?
But then I have to go get a tub
Let me try and open it first
It might not be as bad as I think oh
God it's gonna be as bad as I think it's just immediately grainy as fuck
It's like solid sand
That's all this is.
It's just a solid sand bar.
It's already all over my fucking hands.
It's gonna get on my keyboard when I show you.
Gold!
Did any of you guys used to watch that
Discovery show, Goldminers?
Or what was it called?
Not Goldminers.
What was the name of that show? Gold Rush?
Dude, this is getting everywhere.
Wait, let me try and use it.
Let me play the game how intended.
Yeah, this will only take fucking nine years.
I feel like this is something you buy as a shitty parent for your kid when you need to
distract them for three hours.
This is an IQ test for your child.
If you give this to your kid and he doesn't just immediately go under a sink and put it
in water, do you think I can do this?
No.
Now should I go get the tub of water? We're gonna have to put everything in the fucking tub of water
I already know it. It's gonna be disgusting at the end
Hold on
Here's the problem is this is a pretty big tub of water right where do I put this?
I
This was I
This this this was factored into the price of this bit on the desk
Can I put it on there? Are you guys trusting me if I put it on the floor?
When we do the bath bomb, I'll bring it up for right now I'm gonna put it under
Don't worry, I'm gonna be washing gold for a second
the
big reveal
ill got it stop
the big reveal
That was- See, I feel like I have to do it on the table so you guys could see.
That was super lame.
This is Pyrite.
Shit. How much is that worth?
Somebody give me a money value on Pyrite.
Fucking three cents.
We're bringing it up. We're gonna stand for half of this.
Aargh!
Aargh!
Oh
Wow
Did he pee in it no, I didn't pee in it you fucking idiot
I'm um
I'm unboxing them and
The gold bars yellow. It's not a piss bucket. I have used it. Should I just have this high up?
We're gonna do this. I have used the piss but does this work does this look stupid?
I feel like this looks stupid. How else am I supposed to fucking do this?
It's raw dude you put it in water everything folds in a second if I don't put it in water
I can't like I legitimately can't fucking open it unless I football spike it get a bowl of water
I didn't think about that.
I didn't think about that.
Bro, I bought this tub, I swear to God I bought this tub, oh god it's splashing everywhere.
I bought this tub for this video, hold up.
you
Okay, now, admittedly, that was a much better idea.
I still think I should use the tub for the bath bomb so you could see it
Because then then there's some value out of the bath bomb too. I don't really need these
Fucking wash these off. All right, so we got one pie right. Let's break into another gold bar real quick
Break out the trash can here. Oh, there's a chatter that's spamming call queso
call queso call queso
What about K-Cow?
What about K-Cow?
Literal toddler in chat. Go watch Coco-Mellon, big dog.
Oh my god, we got fucking, we got real adult shit here to do. Okay, we're opening gold bars.
It's called a money hustle. You ever heard of it?
Fucking dickhead.
It's like getting in my eyes.
This is like beach sand.
Do you ever get like sand in your sandwich?
Wait, what?
It's like fizzing.
Do you see that?
That's a good sign.
It all corrupts.
Obsidian.
Obsidian.
Obsidian.
Obsidian.
Obsidian.
Obsidian.
Obsidian.
Obsidian.
Obsidian.
Obsidian.
Obsidian
Oh for two are we collecting them all this is like tap caps
Maybe that's what this is. They're teasing me. They're teasing me with the shittier ones
Because eventually I'm gonna get the gold. I'm gonna get the rare
Go to the nether. Yeah, maybe if I get eight how many obsidian you need?
10 at least
10 or 12, yeah, maybe you could go to the nether.
We get nine more, we only need nine more.
All of these is like $8 a spin.
This is like a CSGO case.
It's like a Chroma 2 that we're opening right now to put that
in perspective for the gamers.
I'm going to have to like dump out the sand.
There's like so much sand at some point.
Pyrite number two
I don't even think it's Pyrite. I think it's worse than Pyrite. It's Rainbow Stone. It's Rainbow Stone
Tell me what about this screams rainbow to you. Tell me what about that screams rainbow to you about shit nothing
That is a red block
That is a brown block that is a fucking poop brown block that they fucking gave me that shit looks like a paver
That they fucking split into a hundred pieces and just smoothed it down the fuck out of here
That's netherrack. Okay, not everything's related to Minecraft
Third what we know fourth one fourth gold bar, we're gonna have probably after the gold bars
I'm gonna have to dump the sand out
So we could do it again
turn off the music no fucker. It's
by me. Makes me feel good.
surely chat if it's one in 24
surely I get one good thing right
like even out of this or the
diamond blocks another another
rainbow sound.
number three number three put it
Maybe I'll be maybe I'll be able to bring a build a minecraft house after what's all seven done
That'll be awesome. What is it?
You can polish them off
Show them off at the end. This one's the real fucking shit or two the first one that I pulled look at this
They they give you half of the fucking rainbow stone. They didn't even give you a full one
That's super lame. All right, so we're two we're three and one right now
three fucking rainbow stone one obsidian and a dollar bill I
I out of everything I bought something has to be good
I'm not even gonna lie even if I pack gold and it's fucking point one grams of gold
It's like the smallest golds back you've ever seen I will be if
ecstatic ecstatic if that's the right word
I'll be streaming dude
I'll feel like I'm in the Alaskan fucking wilderness and I'm panning for gold
And
All you guys I gotta say this as well
I bought all these on Amazon because I feel like it felt more legit a lot of you guys were trying to get me to buy like
Money candles are like jewelry candles on Etsy
And it was like a one in ten chance that you get something crazy
But like an Etsy seller is just a fucking guy
You know, it's not a business
So if you're an Etsy business owner, right, like it could be one of my fucking chatters
I could sit here and say I'm selling money bath bombs. You there's a chance. There's $50 in there
I'm putting every single one that I've ever made. I'm putting $1 in there
There's no legitimacy on whether or not you're ever putting actual money in there same of these these look fucking AI is shit
Don't they like
Oh my god fucking break it open wipe my god damn hands off wipe my god damn hands off wipe my god damn hands off move out of the fucking way we just packed gold holy shit holy shit holy shit oh my god
Move. Move. Move this shit out of the fuck away for a second.
Oh my god, it's a fucking hit.
Holy shit, we fucking got gold.
Is this real gold? Somebody confirm.
Somebody confirm.
Somebody confirm. Somebody confirm. We just packed gold.
It's so small, I can't even see it.
I need to break this open. How do I break this open?
Scissors. Scissors. Wipe it off though. Wipe it off though. We don't want to lose it.
This could be like the smallest speck of gold ever.
in this fucking pack, I'm happy they did that.
Part of me was worried that if I packed gold,
it would be so small that it would disintegrate
into that pile and I wouldn't be able to find it.
Oh my God, I can't believe we actually packed gold.
No fucking way.
Come on.
What what is that by way I own can I show you guys a gram of gold let me go get a gram
of gold I have a gram of gold a gram of gold is like what a hundred ten dollars this is
This has to be one one hundredth of a gram.
That is like, so, that is the smallest
speck of gold I think I've ever seen.
That can't be worth more than five dollars.
That can't be worth more than five dollars.
That is legitimately, like I'm squinting to look at it.
It's the tip of a ballpoint pen.
That's fucking crazy.
That's fucking crazy.
I'm gonna go get a gram of gold real quick.
I'm still happy we packed that, but oh my god, I got gold.
I got gold, that's a scam though, bro.
I was expecting like,
I said it was gonna be like 0.2 grams, bro.
This is one, one hot, you can't even see it.
If I hold it here, you can't even see it.
I have to hold it up to the screen.
That's fucking horrible.
Frame that shit.
Oh my god, they're gonna go,
what do you have, a dirt spec?
Congrats.
Oh my god, give me a second.
I'm gonna go grab, I'm gonna go dump this out
so we can fuckin' open the rest.
And then I'm gonna grab a gram of gold.
Show, that's comparison.
you
you
So, this is a gram of gold.
This is probably worth like a hundred and twenty bucks.
This is what we pulled.
So what is that?
Like, seven dollars of gold?
Maybe if that?
That's more than two bucks.
I would say you took along enough.
Bro, I had to empty this shit out.
What do you want me to just pour that in a sink? It's fucking sand
Fucker, I'm gonna have to do it again once we get through all these before we go to the diamonds
I'm that like really upsets me because now if we don't pull gold like five times like we're definitely in the negative
We're definitively in the negative
It's like a dollar could somebody Google how much the gold in these is worth
there's probably it probably says what weight of gold it is and do you think
that varies too maybe the stack of gold changes let's get another right now
let's go back to back let's go back to back weigh it you think I have a scale
that's gonna weigh that what am I living a fucking science lab I do have a scale
But for grams not micrograms
Well, let's just let's just pop a few in right what is with this bullshit where we're going one at a time
Let's just open let's open all five throw them in there and see what we get
Because I mean we got 12 more diamonds. It's four dollars
It's not worth keeping, you know what I mean?
It's not even worth keeping.
Like, I'm going to put that in a safe, I'm going to accrue in value.
It'll gain value over time, don't worry.
We'll make it back.
It's just, it's just, you're ungrateful.
Ungrateful, bro.
You're acting like somebody gifted that shit to me.
I bought this.
This whole thing costs more than fucking $4.
And all of, at the best prize I could get,
one in every 24, I get one fucking speck of gold.
I would rather buy,
I would rather these costs like a hundred a piece.
And if I win, I get like fucking five grams of gold.
Like I would rather have higher risk, high reward than low risk, low reward.
Like this is just the rewards ass.
It's not even offset the price of the one singular block you bought.
God, it's just so much plastic.
I'm going to guess these are all obsidian.
No, probably all rainbow stone.
We still haven't gotten Pyrite.
Could I be honest?
I'd be more hype about Pyrite than the rest of the shit
Because that's probably the coolest stone there is.
And I don't even think we're gonna pull one of those.
I just went all in.
Are you guys gambling on whether or not I get another fucking gold?
You know it's a 1 in 24 chance.
So we're about to open five of these.
So the odds that I get a gold as well.
Now with the 12 other diamond packs I have, there's a good chance I get something else.
Right, maybe a diamond.
Oh god, how big do you think that diamond is? You need a microscope. It's just a paper or it's a plastic bag and it looks like there's nothing in it.
A real diamond. A diamond is going to be even fucking worse. What the fuck is the diamond going to look like? This has to be the same company too.
They're the same size box, same premise, same odds.
They're already breaking open because they've been soaking so long.
All right, number one, I already see it. Obsidian. Two Obsidian, three Rainbow Stone, one Gold. Number two, Rainbow Stone. Three, four Rainbow Stone, two Obsidian, one Gold.
I thought there was nothing in that one, I'm saying it again.
Still no Pi right, two more.
Rainbow stone.
One more?
One more?
Rainbow stone.
Okay.
So, I never even got Pi right, actually this might be Pi right.
That one might be Pi right.
Does this look like Pyrite?
It's a green.
No, I don't think so.
So I got one gold, so we did pull the best thing I could have.
And then we didn't even collect everything else.
We got this.
Trash.
That's going into a landfill. That'll be in a landfill near you. Save it. For what? For what? That's waste. That's waste. Bro, that's waste. I'm not even going to lie.
Should I just bring this to streamer games and just give this to someone?
I walk up to Jinxie, I go, hey man, thanks for the collabs, bro.
Dap him up, go like this.
He looks at it, like what is this?
I give it to a fan, they're gonna throw the fans, they're gonna think I'm giving them
drugs.
They give it to a fan, give to a kid in the audience, nope.
Yo, here's this creepy dime bag looking fucking item full of some spec that you don't even
even know what it is. Like I'm like having trouble focusing on it, it's that small. Pause.
All right, so that was unsuccessful. Well, it depends how you look at it, because technically it
was successful because I only opened 10 and I got something that was 1 in 24. Now we're onto the
diamond mine and we have 12 of these so we have even more. There's a surprise diamond in many of
them. Should we open a half-time segment open a money soap? I'm down to do a half-time open a money
soap see what we get maybe we'll get something good and we still have the we still have the three
bath bombs we'll do those at the end though in the big tub see what we get out of this that'll be fun
But we still have four, we still have five money sips left.
See, this is really, I was right.
I think this is where you make money.
I think this is where you make money.
If you're gonna make money, it's on the money sips.
If we get one $100 bill, we at least break even
on the money sips, because they were $20 each.
You could see there's like a cross segment
where they mend it.
You just gotta break into it, pop it right open.
I've already had the method.
It's like quick opening cases.
There it is.
All right, let's get that out.
There we go.
And another.
Hi, Hopes!
What do we think's in this one?
Do you think it's like $1 or $100?
Or do you think it's like,
there's a chance I get like a $10 bill?
Does it say?
No, just this lather, soap, and wash is normal,
repeat and use until soap is gone
receives a surprise bill inside.
Do you think this is how parents convince kids
that don't wanna shower to shower?
The kids stench maxing.
It's like impossible to get it out.
Squeegee it out.
This is a blind no look.
Look at the bill.
I have not seen it.
I'm gonna close my arms.
Is it good?
It's a $1 bill.
Lane.
Lane.
Okay.
I really gotta go dump out.
I gotta go dump out this sand again.
See, this is the part that just sucks about this shit.
I think we're gonna do it in batches of six.
That's how we're gonna efficiently do this.
I'm gonna open six of these, soak them,
and then we'll empty the bowl again, do another six.
Hold up, give me like 30 seconds.
you
you
Okay, now, I am um, very excited to open these diamond mines.
For how small that fucking gold piece was I am so curious
What oh my god? No the odds have to be worse on this
The odds have to be worse on this it does say 1 in 24 has a real surprise diamond in one of 24 boxes
But look at the options of stuff that you could get
You could get rose quartz red jasper tourmaline diamond sotolite tigers eye and event or even which is honestly cooler
Aren't the diamonds so small well if the gold piece is that small the diamond has to be even worse
I mean we're about to see we're gonna open that we're gonna open six and then I'll fucking empty it
We'll put the other six. I'm curious. Okay, it is it is the the shape of a diamond. I was gonna say is it gonna be a block
That's kind of cool
It comes in this honestly, we might be able to open all 12 at once because this is kind of smaller
Still comes with the same shit toolkit and it has a little fucking card
What does this say like the kid that's opening this is gonna read it?
Remove rock from wrapper over an easily cleanable surface begin chipping away using the hammer and chisel tools
Yeah, the plastic hammer and chisel tool
Or your kid isn't a fucking idiot and he just puts it in a bowl of water and it opens in four seconds
No profit incoming how much is the diamond worth I don't know seeing that the gold spec we pulled was worth $4 the diamonds probably worth even less
because you got to think honestly the diamond might not be that small because
nobody's buying a diamond that's like the size of that gold spec so at some
point they're probably just worth less so it might just be like regular-ish
looking how much should we open all 12 at once or just six and six because I
could just soak in that area it's like making this they make like weird
bubbling noises the diamond supposed to be worth $12 of do all 12
Okay diamonds worth $12 that's actually profit. I think these were like eight eight nine dollars a box
And it's just like you buy them I bought them on Amazon in packs of 12
But like outside of me who the fuck is buying this many of these you know what I mean
Like I get you being at a Walmart and you buying your kid like two or three
three but I don't know I was reading the reviews on the gold one on Amazon and it was just this
Karen ass mom and you know I I agree with her that these companies are scams but she's like
I got my kid three of these gold bars and it took him three hours to break into all of them
and all he got was three rainbow stones I'm like yeah what did you fucking think you were gonna get
you thought you thought your kid was gonna pull some crazy shit the fuck
That'd be like me giving fucking CSGO a bad review because I opened a case and got a blue.
Like, I just don't understand people that review shit like that. I've always said,
and I say this with restaurants as well, and this is a fact. The best Chinese food place is three
stars. Anywhere you go. Anywhere you go. The best Chinese food place, best food place,
Not maybe in other food places.
Best Chinese food places, three stars.
Because they got to have some rude people.
You got to have some bad experiences, but the food's better.
Why? Because the food's goaded.
It has the best food. It might not be the best environment.
The best food's usually three star places.
In terms of casual dining, I'm not talking like fine dining.
Because people are more likely to give a bad review than a good one.
It's like, I never understand that shit.
Like I'm not gonna not go to a bar or a place because they like three stars
now I might read the review and if it's like
Somebody pooped on the floor. I'd go
you know
Different scenario maybe not a great experience this one's blue the other three were red. Maybe that means this is gonna be a crazy pull now
If a kid isn't taking my order then I'm not ordering yeah, that is crazy is that illegal I
I remember ordering Chinese food when I was a kid like with my with like my grandpa and we walk in and the kid taking the order or the person taking the order it was my age and I was like eight years old and he just rings me up.
When I've gone to other countries, like even when I was in St. Martin I remember I went to a liquor store and I was buying cigars and alcohol the kid ringing me up was like nine years old.
He's like 114 33 I go, okay
Hand him the money
Have a good day. I'm like, yeah, you too. Are you getting paid or?
How's this
Are you making money or
Is this just like I mean, it's your family business, you know, it's basically the equivalent
I think in that sense
It's like the equivalent of like, you know when you have just chores
Fucker this one has to be crazy because that was impossible to open
Probably a dollar a day, but they're not gonna pay a dollar a day their parents their parents are probably just making them do it as
I just have stuck did I just get that on my face
All right, how many is that that's five one more and then we'll actually we'll just do all 12
We'll just do all 12. We'll speed up the process here
We'll do a grand opening.
AHHHHHH!
Pig were cut.
This is literally filling a trash can.
Like this is filling a trash can.
Like entirely.
All of these boxes and shit.
No, but the best plate, as I was saying the best places are definitely three stars for Chinese food.
Other places really depends I can't get into this one. There's like nowhere. I could like peel it
Use the little scissors they're not really scissors like they're like hedge clippers
This stuff is very toxic to the skin online, okay
I was gonna say there's no way they could sell this because the majority of people opening this are probably children
This looks, I'm not gonna lie, I kind of want to eat it.
It looks like that, you know that aerated chocolate?
Wait, I'll hold one up to the camera
and the next one that I open.
I'm not gonna eat it, but I'm saying,
you know things that look very good?
Like you ever watch those slime videos
and it's like, rate the slime scoop
and some of them look, oh, delectable, you know?
I'm sitting there and I'm watching it
I'm going, yeah, you know, if I ate it, it would probably taste like Elmer's glue and fucking ammonia, but
They look good and sometimes they have like scented slimes
Like why are they even doing that if they don't want you to eat it? Why are you why are you making it smell like food?
Why are you making something that looks like it be like really good soft serve ice cream and
But it's chemicals and you're making it smell like food. Doesn't this look like good aerated chocolate? Tell me I'm wrong
That's it looks good as fuck. I don't think I'm gonna be able to fit all 12 in here. Two, four, six, seven, five more.
Are you just hungry? The Nestle crunch, that's what I'm saying. The Nestle crunch aerated chocolate, that's just amazing.
amazing. Didn't Mr. Beast make that? Well, not Nestle's, but he made his own
aerated chocolate.
Bro, Mr. Beast, I feel like, I feel like they're sending him down the wrong
rabbit hole, man. I don't think he should have gotten to chocolate bars.
Like he's like fucking Willy Wonka. I feel like he should have started some
other bullshit.
He should have sold like E-E scooters for some shit math. I don't know. I'm more
so thinking like he sells like a Mr. V's phone and it's just like a really bad
version of a Huawei like one of those Samsung's that used to like explode in
airplanes or something like that or like they would catch on fire so you weren't
allowed to fly with them. Imagine owning one of those phones. Any of you own that
that Samsung phone that would catch on fire.
It's like a Mr. Beast phone chat.
Hear me out.
It's a Mr. Beast phone.
You get it for free,
but like you randomly get called up
for Mr. Beast challenges.
And you just have to work for him.
Like you get like basically like $1,000 phone for free,
but like randomly it'll just be like,
do do do do, Mr. Beast is calling.
Mr. Beast is calling. It's three in the morning. You pick up. He's like, I need you to get to Greensboro, North Carolina right now.
Oh my God, Jinxie. Oh my God, Jinxie, I have a present for you. Jinxie, Jinxie, funny enough, man. I have a present for you.
Let me tell you streamer games, buddy. I have a present for you. Well, hey, what was that? You're really gonna enjoy it
Hey, I I have a gold bar for you man. I have a gold bar for you. I
Packed it today. It's crazy. It's not that big
Very expensive very expensive gold bar. You'll see
Literally filling land fills with this stupid shit. What are you opening diamonds?
We just packed gold. Now I'm
opening diamonds. Jixi, tell me
right now. Wait, actually, if
you're still here, how much
would you venture to say this is
worth? 24 karat gold, 24 karat
gold. Pure, pure gold, pure gold
it. Real gold, by the way. How much are you going to pay? It was on a market. 25 cents.
A penny, he's gone. He already left. He already left. I should have entertained him in some
other way. He's starting to say funny terms or call tags. Oh, flubba diamond, all right.
Opening a gold bar, all right. A joe bar, all right. Yeah. He said five bucks. That's
That's actually what it's worth though.
I feel like it might be worth more, bro.
24k gold, even that small?
I know like I held it up to the one gram
and it's like way smaller,
but it's like a pure gold nugget, dude.
That's like kind of cool now.
Like that's just straight from the ground.
That's not like smelted down.
That's like somebody panned for that.
Where do you think that gold came from?
That's a fun question.
Alaska?
Somebody panned for that.
That's not smelted, it's like clearly a nugget.
Okay, chat, it's time.
We have 12 potential winners in this bowl.
I'm gonna put out a paper towel for the things we got.
Now, it's a one in 24 chance that we pull a real diamond.
We have 12 of these, so statistically everyone is 1 and 24.
I'm going to give ourselves a 1 and 2 that we get a diamond here.
What's the options again?
We either get a real diamond,
which is the jackpot.
Rose quartz, red jasper,
tourmaline, sodalite, tiger's eye, or eventorine.
First one. Problem.
Problem
They don't break the way the gold ones did oh maybe a little bit I might need to break out
Okay first one
Wow, this is like a lot harder than the other one first one. Look that's like actually we found that shit first one's quartz
Not bad, not bad, not bad. That's gotta be worth something. That's a cool rock. It's a little cool stone.
It's like some shit you would see at the beach and you'd keep it. Show it to the camera.
Look at that. Is that a W pull? I would say so. Out of all the other ones,
I mean, I definitely want the diamond, but I'm not gonna be upset if we pull
some other shit. Okay, another quartz, not great. Not, oh no, it's not quartz. Dude,
this is like fucking actually horrible to open. I feel like if you ate this, you know
how I was saying this looks like aerated chocolate? If you ate this, you would actually have to
get your stomach pumped at a hospital. This shit's like sludge. I can't even break into
All right, there we go, number two down, number two down, see it?
Is this the same?
No, this is Torian in quartz.
I'm going to throw this out, like all the ones that we have open because they actually
have some sort of like structure to them rather than crumbling like the gold one.
All right, next, what are they all worth?
I don't know.
What does anybody?
worth anything? I would say probably not. Dude, what if like
there's a diamond in one of these and it's not like packaged
up like the gold is like I can't see. I don't think there's
anything in this one is that bad? Oh no. Oh no, there's ports for red something. What
was the red one? Do you think it'll be in a Ziploc bag again? If I get something good,
have to be. Dude, this is like fucking horrible. I feel like I'm gonna hurt myself doing this.
Like I'm just like, dry scooping into this fucking diamond. And it's like I see what I won, but I
can't even get it out. Why do I care? I'm not even keeping these red fucking thing. What is it?
Red Jasper cool toss that in a fucking trash. That's a loser. That's a fucking loser
If it's not a diamond, it's a loser if it's not a gold. It's a loser, right?
Now this one's a little softer more supple
Oh
See this one's actually sick like I would get into this one because this one's awesome
It's a little obsidian block
Oh fuck no, I'm okay. Sorry. That was an instinct. I didn't hurt myself. That was an instinctive reaction
You know when you get like you know when you like get hurt in a video game and you say ow
It was like that
This looks like a dragon tooth.
Not really.
Dude, these don't be careful.
Bro, the hammer's not helping with this.
If I smack it with a hammer, it's going everywhere.
It makes more sense to cut into it like this.
Like definitively.
Where the fuck is this one?
Oh my god, stop. Wait.
Oh, don't tell me this one has the diamond.
No, it doesn't. Fucker.
It's whatever this lame-o one is. This just looks like a fucking shit rock they pulled on the side of the road.
This doesn't even look like something fucking special. Like the other ones are at least like cool stones.
This looks like a fucking beanboozled.
Vomit or mango?
I'm not going to go.
vomit or mango. No.
straight mud. This is like
becoming the murkiest water
ever. Oh my god. Wait, this
actually looks sick. Hold up.
This one looks awesome.
Like that's the stones.
Honestly, I think this one's
because even if I don't get gold, I get like cool rocks.
Like, look how polished this one is.
Like, does that not look fucking sick?
I'm getting water on my keyboard, by the way.
And I've just now noticed that,
and so we might have to do a keyboard replacement
sometime in the stream.
We shall see.
These are all broken pieces of fucking diamond.
How many more do we have left?
I can't even see.
I think we have six left.
Two, four, six.
Yeah, we have six left.
Six more chances to get a diamond here.
One of them surely has it.
That is a perfect split if I've ever seen it
and it's dog shit.
Throw it out.
That's what we need every time.
It's dog shit.
Another perfect split.
Where'd it go?
It's dog shit.
It's one of the, it's the same rock I just pulled.
Four more.
Oh my God, then we have the money.
So if the bath bombs are gonna pay off.
I know they are.
I know they are.
Another shit stone, another shit stone.
Loser, hell.
Three more.
I'm actually getting really efficient at this.
Oh, oh my God stop.
Another shit stone, red one.
Yuck.
IRL gambling.
This is not, well this is IRL gambling,
but not in a fun way.
This is like really stupid.
Another shit stone. I see it right there. It's not a diamond. I'm certain of it. I think we have one more
We have one more last chance
Pragis Pragis this is a diamond
I'm certain of it
Nothing so far that's actually good news because the diamond would be small
Nothing.
Still nothing.
How's there still nothing?
Still nothing.
Still nothing.
Wait, bro, but like what if there's actually a diamond in here and I just can't see it?
Oh, no.
Wow, that's like really shitty.
That's like really shitty and fucking stupid.
And now it's gone in this mud water.
This is like your fucking...
You know you're an art class and you got to wash your paintbrush and it becomes murky
That's what this is. It was some fucking obsidian piece of garbage bullshit. Okay. Well, that's all trash as well
These stones are kind of cool, but guess where they're going landfill
trash
Yuck 12 diamonds down the drain absolutely fucking piss terrible max loss couldn't have been worse. Oh
My god, I thought that one was an open. Holy shit. Okay
I need a fucking, I need an empty list.
We're gonna run into this big trash bag.
The massive one.
Eeww!
Eeww, eeww, eeww, eeww, eeww, eeww, eeww.
Eeww.
Eeww.
Ew, yuck. Disgusting.
There was a protein shake in the bottom of that that fucking had like residue and I just got it all over the floor.
We'll clean that up later.
Okay, we have the money stokes and the bath bombs left.
These are the most expensive things, so hopefully there's a chance. Let me go dump this real quick.
you
you
you
you
you
Oh my god, dude.
It's fucking like, I just washed my hands for like five minutes.
It like perma stains my hands.
The bowls fucked.
I got to throw that shit out.
That's perma stained.
There's fucking gold everywhere.
Not actual gold.
Gold fucking flakes.
Why do I do these stupid fucking video ideas?
Oh my God, and there's like stuff in my keyboard now, bro.
Ew!
Oh my God, I like, dude, this keyboard is actually just fucking piece of shit.
Like, I have to wash it. I have to wash it or throw it out.
It's actually foul. It's actually foul. Okay. Well
We have six more things and then we'll hop into reacts. We have three money soaps and
Three bath bombs. This is our final chance to turn a profit while we did pull the rare mystery gold item
It was kind of garbage. We also have two one dollar bills
I'm going to open up the three
money soaps and then we'll do
all three bath bombs at once.
The money soaps have to have
something good.
Get them out.
Let's go.
Four golds.
Four.
Oh my god imagine I have three
$100 bills.
I'd actually turn a profit.
What do you think the odds are?
I'm going to open up the three
What do you think the odds are?
They just say up to $100 in each one.
They don't tell you the odds or anything.
It does say moneysoap.com.
Should be going moneysoap.com and see.
It just says the domains for sale for $3,500.
All right, did this company go out of business?
That's fucking sweet.
That means that this is all going to be terrible,
or they went out of business because they had too many winners.
And now I'm going to be one of them.
Now I'm going to be one of these fucking winners, dude.
Hell yeah, hell yeah, getting the third one open.
This is actually very satisfying to open these.
The diamond one was terrible.
This is like awesome, I just crack it open like that.
like a clam. Peel this out and stack this up. Anybody want some
cheap soap? There's going to be one person in the YouTube
comments are on stream right now. God, he's such a waste. I
can't watch Joe Bart. He just fucking wastes everything. He
just threw it out. Somebody, somebody did some starving kid
could have used that obsidian stone. Some fucking jerk off
would say that shit. Some starving kid could have used that obsidian stone. That would
have helped him. Oh really? Alright, we have three chances here. If I don't get, I better
not get five $1 bills. Like, I'm not gonna be that upset if I get um, what's it called?
If I get like, I don't, I don't need to get the hundred. You know, I'm not gonna be pressed
if I don't get the hundred. But I'm gonna be annoyed as fuck if I don't even get like
a $5 bill. I'm just pre-opening these right now. What does that say? Reddit says a guy
bought 60 money soaps and every single one had $1. You know, I do want to say it's not
a bad, I mean it's cheap soap. That's why it's like it's not worth $20 soap wise. But
But like, if you spent your whole life only washing your body with money soap, is that dumb?
I mean, you're just, you're downgrading the level of enjoyment or cleaning you're going
to have for yourself because the soap's cheap, but like at some point you're going to pull
some crazy shit now.
It's $19 soap.
It's $20 soap.
You're saying it's $19, so it proves that the $19.99 bullshit works.
$20 plus tax.
All right, let's open these.
Get into this shit.
Blind review, I'm not looking.
What is it?
$1.
Bro, you just saw the US sign.
How do you know?
It's weird how you just know it's a dollar. It is all right
Number two we have two left. Come on, bro. It's a hundred dollars into this shit
Hundred dollars into the money steps. Let's fucking rep it next
and they're all like old dollar bills, they're all like really old crumpled dollar bills.
like almost don't feel like real dollar bills either. I should have just bought a hundred
money sips. What the fuck? I can't get into this one. Final chance for the money sips.
I already saw it. It's a fucking dollar. Are you kidding me, bro? I put a hundred dollars
into money so I get five one dollar bills. There could be up to up to a dude. The gold
billionaire bath bomb, one to one thousand dollars inside for women. One to one thousand
dollars. If there's a thousand dollars in this bath bomb, I will fucking smash that
lava lamp over my own goddamn head. On string. There is no, I don't think in the making of these soaps,
there has ever been a thousand dollars in any single one of them. I don't think there's been over
a hundred bucks. Net weight five ounces. How would you even put a thousand dollars into this?
What does it look like? It smells so good, admittedly.
Oh
Wait, this might actually be a high quality bath bomb hold up its jewelry inside
Bro, you think they're really putting a thousand dollars in jewelry in one of these
Like no I
Need to get into a no they smell so fucking good
That's the thing I'll say is like how much should a bath bomb even cost because this being $20 is definitely a scam
But I think like bath bombs in general are fucking dope if they smell really good and this one smells really fucking good
So I'm like, okay, you know, maybe you'll get $1,000 probably not never, but you know, maybe you get 40 bucks or some shit one day
You have free bath bomb
Five bucks for a bath bomb. I remember five bucks for a bath bomb is like what it should be now
But y'all remember when bath bombs like became a thing and I don't know if it was like dropshipping or what but I feel
Like when bath bombs were like popular originally they were way more than fucking five dollars
Like a good price for a bath bomb was way more than five bucks
Five for a pack of three probably unscented
ingredients sodium bicarbonate citric acid sea salt sea maize corn starch cocoa seed
butter and shea butter I love how they do the little fucking stupid tinfoil
wrapping so you're like maybe it maybe today will be my lucky day one to one
$1,000 for women in parentheses. So this isn't for men. What is their target demographic for year olds?
Single mothers single mothers trying to treat themselves on a Saturday
With a billionaires bath bomb with hopes of winning a thousand dollars unlikely
rich women I don't know dude it does smell very fucking good I have to say
that also it's impossible to get into it's like the plastic is just fucking
like suctioned to this thing I'm gonna have to break the tub out to open these
One more then we'll drop them all in at once
Get a hammer. Yeah, let me get a hammer and just fucking smack it and have everything go over very fucking jackass
Oh, let me just smack it with a fucking hammer billionaire bath bomb. Oh, wow
This looks fucking super super expensive and luxurious. Oh, there's a little fucking sticker
There's a little fucking sticker that they made on some fucking Microsoft Word doc
to put onto this shit. It's edible. I could eat the math bomb. Is that your room?
Oh my god. It's fucking so scary to open these.
Yo, Hog, thank you for the five gifts, big dog.
Hold up
Okay, we've all three this is 60 bucks of bath bombs
60 bucks of bath bombs right here hog you take it for the five gift it's she oh Hubert rip cereal Gabriel Martin Brady
Was seal the real Seth Al ghost code rare
Pot dillies taking the raid on
Twix luminos socks big
TSM, Hornet, Likely, Dea, R6, Wolf, Sion, J-Bo, Dungeon, take it to the three,
Logu, B-Cheese, HB, Coley, Bach, ZG, Cork, Schnapp, and Ritt, and Real, take it to the
sub. All right, let's break out the tub. The thing that I bought thinking I would
use it for everything, like a fucking idiot.
Oh
Oh
All right
Time for the big fucking reveal here
What do we think we get let me think okay the sand on the but it's not piss water there. It's not a piss drawer stop saying that
That's not a pistol or a dick, it's I had to put one of the gold bars in there originally before I had the wonderful idea to grab a bowl or chatter did you know that's neither here nor there.
Anyways, first one in.
Oh, it's bubbling.
Oh, it's bubbling. Do we have anything that kind of looks like mud.
Yuck and yuck.
How long do you think this will take to uh evaporate?
They're not really like moving very much. It's also like a sludge. I feel like this
shit would not go down your bathtub. Five minutes? You think I need to stay here for five minutes?
What if I spin it around? This is what they look like. The gold immediately fades.
Once you wash them. I feel like I could fucking break these. Actually maybe not.
Does there need to be like a certain concentration of water for these to dissolve or will these continue to dissolve as long as there's liquid?
because I need them to
Probably fully go out dude. Oh, I don't know. It smelled good in the beginning and now it's
I don't know it smells
It smells weird man, it smells like fucking ammonia
Like it doesn't smell it's not it smelled originally like they sprayed it with some sort of not like perfume
But like like a women's soap, you know
God it smells fucking bad now
And it's like it's like I mean it's probably because I put three in a tub of water like this
It's like it's making my hands like glossy
Like they're fully glistening brah I'm gonna go grab a trash bag while these dissolve editor time-lapse this
Alright. How are we working? They haven't really moved. They haven't really fucking
moved at all. And what's supposed to be in here, jewelry? Or what? Ew! Oh, I didn't even
fucking bring the trash bag in. Hold up. What is supposed to be in these? I don't think it's hot. I
don't think it needs to be hot water. I think they'll dissolve no matter what. This does look like
straight piss. Doesn't that kind of look like glossy though, kind of cool, like glitter water?
Now, it looks like mud in fucking urine and vomit, like mustard gas, or like beer, like
a really gross beer with like sludge in the middle.
I feel like there has to be like, there can't be jewelry in this.
That would make more sense though.
Is there a chance that there's actually nothing?
It always said there was a surprise inside
The surprise inside is that it has chemicals in it that sends your skin now
They're getting smaller like this is like almost it's getting a very bulbous egg shape
They're not really dissolving as as fast as I would have liked though
It's gonna be real gold. It's probably gonna be fake ass gold-plated jewelry if it is fucking jewelry
That's why I don't want to do Joe you guys are like get the candle jewelry shit. Well, you only get a candle jewelry run
It's just fucking Etsy. Not even silver. It's Etsy like shit slop
Fucking jewelry that looks good, but there's no real that like what am I gonna go to a fucking pawn shop and get somebody to appraise it?
I'm gonna go to Rick and have him fucking tell me how much my billionaire bath bomb jewelry is
What's the sponsor? There is no fucking sponsor
How do I oh my god, I just popped it
There's money inside and guess what the big reveal it's
It's a,
a $1 bill!
How about another one?
How about next?
Come on, come on, don't be a dollar.
It's a dollar, it's a dollar, it's $1.
It's $1, it's a dollar.
Yay!
Woo!
Gold billionaire.
Maybe one day I'll get rich taking so many baths.
Maybe one day I'll get rich taking so many baths.
Last one, last chance, not another dollar
on every fucking single goddamn thing.
You motherfucker.
Wow.
If this is not a fucking, yo, I am a massive gambler.
And if this is not just definitively showing you
that this is the biggest fucking scam of all time,
another dollar. Bare minimum. Up to a thousand dollars. Up to a thousand dollars.
Tell me, tell me, tell me how in this fucking little ass thing you're fitting
ten hundred dollar bills. Get the fuck out of here. I gotta go dump this out.
It's fucking stupid. What a shit video. What a stupid fucking video idea. We got
this video idea playing some dumb video game and I was like oh I'll show I'll
I'll show how much of a scam it is, maybe I'll get something.
Hey, at least I got the fucking gold.
I can't sit here and complain too much.
I did get gold, but it's slop gold.
You know, dog poop, I don't even know where to pour this.
Is this safe to go down a sink?
Oh my God.
you
Okay, well at the end of it all chat what's our profit and loss let's see so
So, we spent probably what, $400, $400, and we got, what is this, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 bucks
and $5 or gold.
Fuck off!
Next video by YouTube!
Shit!
Dog fucking shit terrible.
All right, let's get it to react. I'm moving this oh
My god, I can't believe that
I like I okay, here's here's what I want to say wait real quick. Let me fucking like this off. Oh
I don't know what I thought would happen in my head in my head there was like I
Knew it was a scan. That's why I wanted to do the video, but I still thought like oh
I'll get
Ten bucks, you know out of the money soaps in the bath bombs and shit. I honestly thought
The exact opposite of what happened. I thought that the gold in the diamond shit would give us nothing
We got lucky. I got the gold. It's just fucking worthless. I
thought
The money soaps would give me like maybe a ten dollar bill
Maybe a ten dollar bill or something. We actually got more than six bucks. I
I got one two three four five six seven eight bucks. I got eight dollars hold up
All right, now that we're done that segment,
We're gonna get into reacts.
Yo, real quick, I'm gonna say this as well.
The people that are saying I'm gonna smoke in streamer games,
I'm not that fast.
Like, there are people that are like,
Joe woulda went pro.
You're on fucking crack, bro.
Thinking I woulda fucking gone pro.
I never even said that shit.
I said I woulda gone to a shitty D1.
A shitty D1.
Shitty D1, okay D2.
Like at best, you're slow as shit.
Bro, also, I can't use track spikes day of the event.
Turbo L, turbo L.
It's a fair reasoning too.
It's a fair reasoning too.
Not, why not?
Not everybody has track spikes.
It's technically an unfair advantage,
which is fair, which is fair, I understand.
Like out of the eight people racing,
Maybe three people would wear trackspikes, probably two.
Me and someone else.
So it's just unfair.
Because trackspikes would, like say without trackspikes,
I run 12 seconds.
With trackspikes, I might run at 11, 11.6.
Like, they said yes originally.
Yeah, well, they were saying you could buy them
because USC's track enables trackspikes.
But they were like, we thought about buying everybody
trackspikes, but we're just not gonna allow it
because it's not pay to win, but it's technically pay
to have a better performance.
So in some sense it is.
So I get it.
I'll bring them just in case.
I kind of want to bring them.
And then during the event, like during the event,
I'd run the hundred in regular sneakers.
But then I'd kind of want to ask, like,
if I'm able to run it again with spikes.
Oh my God, all my editors are fucking messaging me.
What the fuck?
Hold up.
Sorry, I got to respond to this real quick, give me like 20 seconds, and then wop into
the reacts.
Oh my fucking god.
job.
I
Care for hold up
Loser
Okay, bro, I am fucking sweating right now.
Holy shit, and my hands feel fucking disgusting.
Oh, oh my God, man.
Oh, ugh, yuck, yuck.
Sub me tier three, what the fuck does that mean?
Like you gave me a tier three sub?
Claire, think of it as a sub.
Stone, rod, apart, stone, and puffy, think of it as three.
Watch the VOD channel, I've been dealing with a lot
of serious mental health thinking of ending it.
I'm doing better now, I wanted to let you know
you're one of the things that genuinely
brought me happiness and gave me a good laugh
Well, I hope that you're getting to help you need, man,
and suicide's never the answer.
I'm glad you're still here.
Rand, thank you for the five gift.
It's Bubba, thank you for the sub-path, thank you for the thread.
A kid who messaged about a show, a couple of streams ago,
I was interested and the pressure got out of it
since thank you for the kind words.
You have an idea how much you helped me.
You're not worthless, Matt.
A lot to me.
Thank you so much.
I hope you get the help you need as well, Pat.
I'm glad I was able to help you with kind words
and motivational words, but you need to do more than just that.
Bum and it's thank you for the sub-serial.
Hog, Grim, 100 cut.
Gold, ice, rent, take it with a sub,
Claire, Doobie, VR, rent, take it with a five,
get it to spark, take it with a sub.
But no, I'm never upset when chat,
like I wanna say that as well,
like I am thankful when chatter is like,
oh, you helped me through stuff.
But I wanna say like, hey,
if you're going through something,
you're like, I helped you,
just make sure you're also getting like,
help elsewhere as well,
like therapy or psychiatric help,
you know, working on your problems
rather than just being like,
Joe's patching this, right?
Bandating problems, I go to therapy every week.
I do therapy now for the last over a month, like month and a half.
Um, and I'm planning on continuing to do it.
It's like, obviously not, if therapy is not accessible to everybody, obviously,
I would check with your insurance, but it's like, you have to do something
that's beyond band-aiding an issue.
And I think a lot of the time, some of you guys watch my content as a band-aid,
which is fine in the moment, but it's not great for the long term, right?
It's like in the moment, it's, it's okay to watch me to make you feel better.
And it's like, that's not bad.
If it's like, oh, you had a long day.
I'm excited to watch Joe.
But if it's like, you're thinking about killing yourself,
you can't just watch me to stop that.
You know, like, you should get help elsewhere as well.
Does that make sense?
That's all I'm kind of really trying to, I guess, convey.
OK.
Let's lock in, though.
Let's lock in, though.
All right.
Today's a React day as well.
Tomorrow, I'm not live.
Dude, I can't sub.
Make sure you, I don't know what you want me to,
I don't know what you're asking me right now.
I'm a cypher, thank you for the five giftings.
Today's going to be React tomorrow, I'm not live.
First, second, co-streaming streamer games.
The third through the sixth, I'm not live for four days.
I'll be vlogging.
I'm gonna be doing a collab with another YouTuber,
maybe an IRL stream elsewhere,
unlike somebody else's channel.
But that's kind of a fucking toss up right now.
I would bank that I'm not live tomorrow,
co-streaming for a second and then gone for four days.
When I'm back the seventh,
We're probably going to do React.
I'll react to my Streamer Games events.
That'll be a video.
And then I'll have the vlog be a video as well with the body
cam of some of the first person.
Should have Streamer Games and then just LA in general.
Maybe the collab stuff too that I can't talk about yet.
And then we'll just lock in.
We're going to be streaming for like eight days straight.
I'm gone for three, back for three, gone for four.
August 18th, we're doing the FNAF to play
till I beat it, wearing the bunny suit, as promised,
from the loss of the Brovy Bro.
and the 19th is the next charity stream.
Outside of that, once we're back from that
like three day off, three day on, four day off,
like last week of August,
we're just gonna grind out stream into September
and then I'll start streaming later on weekdays.
Right now I get live at like one or two
because it's summer stream schedule.
Like last week of August, maybe first week of September,
we'll start streaming at like 3.30 on weekdays.
Sorry for thinking of the five gift,
it's duh and zing to the sub,
Airy, TRD, Think of the Sub, Monica for three.
It's in Q, Think of the Sub, Spark, Think of the Sub.
All right, let's lock in now.
Run down to the videos we have today.
We're probably not gonna get to all of them,
but we're gonna try to get to as many as we can.
Gamer addicted to Minecraft loses control,
featuring socks for one.
This was 10 months ago.
This is, we hadn't watched Darman
for like a year and a half stretch.
Then we watched that Lux Maxing one,
and it was absolute cinema.
So I'm gonna watch this one.
Maybe it's shit, maybe it's not.
We wanna skip it, we can,
but it's probably gonna be bad, but a good bad.
Hansa, the infiltration of the dark web,
you guys have been spam suggesting this fern video.
The drug made from human sewage,
and why don't we die more often?
Which is like a philosophy-esque-ish video,
maybe more informative, educational, I guess.
I also wanna say, for the people
that watch my philosophy channel,
I'm sorry I haven't done a rant a while,
kind of been dealing with a lot,
if you tap into me at all.
So I'm not really caring about making
a fucking philosophy rant right now.
So I don't know when the next philosophy rant will be.
Right now it's just kind of been like
react videos slash commentary, but yeah.
Also I'm noticing I still have blue on my face.
Give me one second.
Okay, let's go.
Okay, first video, first video.
Zingy, Earth, Bryson, and Riding take it to the sub.
Let's go.
Gamer addicted to Minecraft loses control.
I gotta rewind.
You bloody idiots!
What was that?
It's crazy. Looking back-
I'm sorry, I was just thinking about- I was thinking about Minecraft.
I was just thinking about Enchantments and this new cave base that I'm going to be building later.
building later.
You realize the way you think your life will go is rarely the direction it does go.
This is how you return a ball.
This is what you gotta do.
This is what you gotta do to get to the top.
Seem like coach...
Get to the top of the JV tennis team in high school.
This is what you have to put up with.
If you want to make it to the top of the Iowa Tennis Bracket in Group 3, you're gonna
have to fucking dig deep. If you want to go to a mildly okay D3 high school, you're not
gonna be able to do it in the way that you play currently.
Wayne's idea of making it to the top was being a crazy weirdo. He was just a mean guy. But
my mom always told me.
If you do good, good will always come back to you.
Mm, corny foreshadowing. We're probably gonna hear that line about nine times in this video.
So, a bit about me.
My name is Nicholas Ulela.
A son of immigrants from Europe, Czechoslovakia,
to be exact.
Holy back story, what is this, John Wick?
What is this?
Are we rushing a fucking entire movie-esque scene
right now in four minutes?
I watched John Wick last night.
I noticed, I'd watched all the John Wick's years ago.
I noticed that when you watch John Wick,
they rush John Wick's entire life in 10 minutes.
And then they immediately get into him murdering everyone.
They go,
his wife died of a terminal illness.
He used to be in the game, now he's out of it.
Somebody killed his dog and fucking stole his car,
and now he's gonna go on a killing rampage
against all the mobs in New York, New Jersey, metro area.
I was originally born in Toronto, Canada.
But I only-
What the fuck, just him being, like, check-in?
Coming from immigrants being born in a specific city have to do with anything the title sang and
Him wanting to be a pro tennis player, but being addicted to Minecraft
It lived there for about a year. My dad's work required us to move constantly. So before we knew it, we were in the States
Not that I knew what was happening. I was a baby
I can't wait for 6th grade, no school's gonna be awesome, I only have all our classes together.
Hornball.
It was to-
Hornball.
I'm not making friends because of all the moving.
No point making-
I can't wait for 6th grade, we're gonna have all our classes together.
Friends, I'd have to say goodbye to you shortly after.
Oh, I hope you know I'm gonna start vaping in the bathroom.
I'm trying to get ahead of the game, you know?
You're not gonna be seeing me.
Looked fully last night.
By the time I was 18, we moved around six times.
But eventually, I didn't have to worry so much about saying goodbye to any classmates or almost friends
after I switched to homeschooling online.
This way, I could focus on tennis and my goal to wait for it.
Become a pro tennis player.
I know, right? Why?
I can see it a little better.
Thanks, Momma.
That's great.
This is my dad was always traveling for work.
I rarely got to see him.
So 90% of the time, it was mom and me.
Yo, I'm going to have to take that hope.
Like, there are people that actually do this.
And there's people in my chat that actively do this,
where they quit school to pursue a sport.
I don't think that's bad if it's like,
you're getting interaction elsewhere.
But I think of your homeschooling yourself
to pursue a sport that is marginally,
or like mainly solo.
You have no friends, you're pursuing the sport.
If you don't go pro, it was all for nothing
and you don't have friends.
Like if you're homeschooled and you're still doing club sports
and it's like you're pursuing soccer
and you have friends outside of, you know,
just being at home, fine.
But if it's like, you're homeschooled,
you're pursuing motocross, but you don't have friends,
and you're just only doing that.
It's like, it just fucking ruins your social life, man.
Like, and I know you're in high school,
it doesn't really matter at that point,
but it's like, you're kind of sparking yourself
to just not be able to like, branch out.
I was sort of a mama's boy.
But just because I was sort of a mama's boy,
didn't mean she wasn't.
Motocross wall, I mean, that's the thing.
I mean, at least in New Jersey, I feel like motocross kids drop out of school more than any other sport.
Like, every- when there's guys that have a chance of going pro on motocross, they- they get homeschooled.
And they just pursue that.
Part of me when she-
Like, ex-games, shit.
You need it to be.
Nicolas.
That's my own personal life experience, though.
You know, I don't want to be a part of you, but you're the only one.
I- I know.
You know how important it is for you to get straight A's?
Yeah, you're the teacher, mom. Just give him A's.
Yeah, bro.
How are you gonna get an education connection?
Just like any other teenager, it was tough not being able to make friends.
So I did the next best thing.
I watched YouTube videos.
I guess you could say it was the next best alternative I had at my disposal.
I watched sign-
I even-
I learned how to edit videos.
But at the end of the day, my life revolved around tennis.
Stop whining.
Stop playing.
First show your hands.
Everything in my life at that point
revolves around one goal, becoming a pro tennis player.
But he seems like he sucks.
Like, I'm not.
I feel like if you're going to drop out of high school
to play, if you're going to drop out of school
to fucking GoPro and tennis, you should be winning states
before you drop out. Like, you should be like a top of the wrong player right now.
You're the 7th ranked tennis player in the state.
You know how hard going bro in tennis is?
If that would be different if you were like the 7th ranked to like fucking, I don't know,
like long snapper running back in the state of like taxes, you know, it'd be like, oh
shit, maybe you'll actually go like D1, go pro, you know, like, oh fuck, you're good.
ranked in the state and tennis it's like tennis is an international sport like
you're not going I feel like you're not going pro if you're fucking seven perfect 4.0 gp
they say what state they moved to yeah study and computer are you viewbotting bro no way this guy
is 23k yeah i'm viewbotting all my viewers
There's science at the top of my web this fall
You earn this Nicholas, but what happens when you've been working your whole life or something?
But when you finally get it you realize you don't even want it
Let's go by the time I got to college. They clicked that place wasn't for me
Which was crazy considering I built my entire life around it. All right. Come on, but looking around at the other guys
They were die-hard and I just bro. He's not seven to the state you fool within the fucking tennis ball
Yo, this guy is an actual dork. You're not like I this sort of piss me off. Why are we trying this long?
We we're fucking shit in the bed in tennis for five years straight till we realize. Oh, maybe I'm not actually gonna go proud wasn't
Instead of that's an actor. Yeah way to ruin the immersion
running every day
Training constantly way to ruin the immersion man. See now the video is cooked. What he's an actor
Living and breathing tennis like the other guys
I preferred this
YouTube content creation. I even ended up getting a few gigs editing youtubers videos
Including cypher pk who I was a huge fan of
CypherPK playing whatever the fucking game that is. Is that Rust? What is this? CypherPK
strictly playing Fortnite. What are we talking about? You edit for fucking CypherPK. Get
the fuck out of here. Yo, there are a lot. Yo, is this Joe's editor? One of my editors
did drop out of high school and I think he's getting his GED, but we're got it. But that's
That's like, that is not uncommon, and a lot of YouTube editors don't have, uh, didn't
finish college, or didn't finish high school.
Like, that's true, like, I'm not all of them, I don't have the statistics on this, but like,
I know a lot of YouTube editors that did not finish high school.
Getting a few gigs editing YouTubers videos.
Why is that?
Because they start making fucking 50k a year when they're 16.
So it's like, they sit there and go, I could just edit more.
Including CypherPK, who I was a huge fan of.
Hi, Big! How is University?
Good. Great.
That's a lie. Teddy's going well?
Yeah, yeah. And that's an even bigger lie.
But I mean, how was I supposed to tell them that I wanted to quit?
So, I just lived a double life for a bit.
I continue playing tennis poorly taking bro. Is it that hold up before I say this
Welcome to my youth videos like my life depended on
Uh, I'm so mute this editor.
Well, it all looks like the small horrendon got posted.
And when we did post, they weren't necessarily blowing up.
But we.
We're on YouTube.
We can edit it.
I knew we had something special.
I'm yeah.
Okay.
I could say this because he talks about it here.
When I talked to that's like Jack word for word.
This is this exact fucking conversation to be fair.
It's not barfetched for like a lot of YouTubers starts.
Like, Jack was in college and I think he just wasn't going to classes for like a year.
And he was just only doing YouTube because his parents wanted him to go to college and
then he just made it.
Like, it worked.
But it's like, bro, that's like a fool.
You're fucking banking on it, working, you know.
Playing tennis.
But he like, full-on believed in himself.
I've been like six months, not a year.
Taking gigs, editing videos for YouTubers like CypherBK and King Richard in my free time.
I'm creating some content myself.
Alright guys, so today we're gonna be starting a-
If you're the dedicated editor for fucking CypherPK, you don't need to go to college.
Like...
You're making money.
Brand new hardcore world.
Well, encourage JD or any of those Fortnite guys.
I mean, they post every day.
But working on my YouTube channel more meant less time for studying.
Which meant-
Is Brady in college? Yeah, Brady's a little fucking tech guru guy, though.
But he's a little tech guru guy that's addicted to CS cases my grades started really slipping for the first time in my life
Now that my parents weren't around to push me to fuck. No way. That's a college test
The fuck did that say in my life?
What phase of the cell cycle involves DNA replication?
That's a fucking college exam get the fuck out of here. That's some shit in freshman year high school biology
Now that my parents weren't around to push me to focus on school in tennis
Not to mention I was losing match after match
But what are you watching?
Cypher pk. He's like a youtuber uploads gaming videos
It's kind of like what I want to do. I know YouTube is a big thing now
But back then people were like you make money on that upload a gaming video brother fucker say that to me now
Distant family members say that to me now. What do you do for work social media? You make money? Yeah. Oh
And they judge me hella hard and I just wanted I yeah, I just walk away. I got yeah, I know right? It's crazy
21st century right? There's no way
Do you have a scholarship to play tennis they fucking judge mad hard?
But I've had some family members too and I'm not gonna sit here and act like this is the hardest job in the world because it's not
But like I've had like distant family members that are like old like 70 plus they're like oh I
Wish I could do that you have it you have it so easy and I'm like yo ain't nobody watching your dumbass
I like in the nicest way possible like yeah way to just diss my job in every way possible
It's so easy. Oh you have the life man. Wow what the fuck?
I'm like, okay, so you just caught like they're literally say like oh, I would do that no problem
I should do social media, it's that easy.
I'm like, you're just downplaying
my fucking capabilities here.
Like, it's not a hard job in the sense of like,
yes, I'm sitting at my computer right now
just fucking talking.
But like, it's not like, oh, that's it?
Oh, that's it.
Your chances going pro are way better
than the whole YouTube thing.
And there is luck involved,
But I've had a lot of people like diss me,
and they go, you just react to videos,
you just do this, that.
I do this shit too.
And it's like, I've done it for five years
and I've never blown up.
I click on their account,
they're the most boring fucker ever.
And there are people that think I'm boring,
unfunny, lame, cringe, stupid, annoying, right?
On the cost of absurdist nihilism, right?
Like shit like that.
But it's like, at the end of the day,
there is an audience that will watch my shit
when you're just sitting there in 420p playing Fortnite
with no face cam and you don't fucking talk.
And when you do talk,
You say something that's boring and un-entertaining.
It's like, I'm not trying to be an asshole,
but it's like sometimes the people that just straight up
come at any popular fucking streamer
and just say, they're just lucky.
It's like, yeah, people do get lucky,
but at the same time, the reason you're not blowing up
is not because you're not lucky.
You've been doing social media for five fucking years
and you haven't changed anything one single second
that you've done it.
You just don't know what to do
because you don't understand social media.
Right, watch Ludwig Streamer U-Class.
You don't just go live for 12 hours
playing a fucking ranked game and expect to get viewers.
That's not how it works.
Hey, Nicholas, you got a sec?
Gonna have a word with you.
Yeah.
There's something going on.
You haven't been playing as well
and your grades are slipping.
Nothing's going on.
Well, you can't be successful if you keep going like this.
Do you even wanna play?
Why is he so stern, man? I feel like I'm in like a Nicholas Cage film.
Do you even have what it takes to be an All-Star Tennis player?
You know one time when I was on the court I fucking shattered my knee?
It popped like a fucking water balloon right in front of the crowd, spilled blood everywhere
and I kept on playing. Do you have that in you?
Cause I sure as hell fucking know you don't.
I didn't want to play and you know what's made for you pickleball because you're a fucking pussy
And I knew that
Not to mention I was making decent you don't have the gall serena williams has
Also money doing something. I actually enjoyed I knew what I wanted. There was only one thing left to do
$300 for editing. Hey paycheck
You're still here?
I'm always close to you.
You're still here?
You've been somewhere on the road all this time.
Where are they?
I want to play Roblox, mom.
Or not Roblox, I want to play Minecraft, mom.
I have a really good idea for a faction server.
I decided I don't want to play tennis anymore.
I don't.
gonna start a let's play. It's gonna be one, one hider versus four hunters.
My heart is not in it anymore.
I'm gonna start a sub-SMP mom. It's how I'm gonna make money.
What are you going to do instead? I want to be a YouTuber.
And before you say that it's a bad idea or that there's no money in it.
I remade some money and I'm gonna go for it either way even if that means getting my own place, Nicholas
Bro, he like actually has okay
Motherfuckers drop it out of college to pursue YouTube just flat out in itself surface level stupid
This guy edits for CypherPK and King Richard in other YouTubers.
He already makes money and has content connections.
It's like him pursuing YouTube isn't a bad idea.
It's like you were just like two years into college and you're a fucking business marketing major.
You have no idea about YouTube and you're like, I'm just gonna start streaming.
Like that would be stupid.
But like he knows like he has the connects.
P.K. ain't paying him that much.
I'm doing a deep yell actually.
I know I'm getting way too into the fucking warp right now, but let's say this guy actually
did edit for CypherPK.
Bro, yeah, you're making-
CLICK, man.
This finally won an f***ing lacing.
We finished 10th place last year, and nobody had them winning, except Clix's-
Nah, this is definitely like, this is a higher edited video, bro.
If you were editing for CypherPK, you're probably making like, 300-400 bucks a video.
Surely.
Surely.
Unless you're just on payroll.
It depends how editors do it.
Editors do one of three things.
Or YouTubers do one of three things.
You give your editor a percentage of the channel or the video
You pay them per video depending on the video. There's generally a flat rate
But that fluctuates or you just pay them retainer salary and
You usually do one of three
Which one's better it depends if I have four editors so Brady gets a percentage of the VOD channel
He just runs the VOD channel. He's the VOD guy Brady doesn't edit for me. I also got to say that right now
So many of you guys are like Brady edited this, Brady does not fucking edited a single video for me in three years.
Brady runs my VOD channel, that's all Brady does.
And obviously tech shit and fucking bots and all this other stuff.
Like he doesn't edit videos, he's not like on Adobe Premiere editing videos like he used to.
Right, he did years ago.
Now, not anymore.
My other channels philosophy gaming main I pay per video that fluctuates depending on the video like shifted midnight's four-hour VOD
Brovy bro five-hour VOD get a pay way more than a fucking 40 minute react video, you know, but there is just a bottom base
It's not like oh this video is only 10 minutes. I'm only paying you this amount
No, there's a base and it only goes up, but like I know youtubers. I'm not gonna say names
But I know youtubers that have one editor
But that editor is on salary, and he just gets every video.
And it's like, you just have to edit 40 hours a week for me.
I don't do that.
I could, but then I'd have to get rid of other editors.
How much you paying me to start?
Who?
Brady?
I don't know.
Brady emailed me for a job.
That's a while to how that happened.
Brady emailed me for a job.
Brady convinced me to start a VOD channel,
and I just gave him a cut of it.
But what was I going to say?
That's like most of my editors emailed me.
Not anymore.
Now there will be people that are like, hey,
could I edit for you?
I'm saying this right now.
Before you draft up that email.
I know there's two people in chat right now.
Hey, Jabbar, I'd edit for, I don't need an editor.
My editors edit actually too fast.
I've said that before.
They out edit how much I create content.
so I don't need more editors.
So let me just save you time there.
But that's actually how you should get a job
if you want to edit.
Email creators.
Get in early and then they'll pay you more.
When Cloak, Cloak doesn't edit for me anymore,
but Cloak and 3FS were my first two YouTube editors.
I paid them $20 a video.
I had no money.
This is when I started, right?
I paid them $20 a video.
I had nothing.
Now, you know, since I've grown,
I just pay more more more more more it depends on the video though like if I'm if it's like a regular
react or something yeah it might be like a certain amount of money I'm not gonna say because I don't
want to air out how much my editors make but I do I think I pay them well um but I don't want to
like air out like how much they make okay v3fs 3fs used to edit for me yes way back
It's okay. Like when I started YouTube, like when I started YouTube, him and Cloak.
That I would take a gap year and if I made it during that time, I wouldn't go back to college.
The other day you said it was 170 video. It's okay. It's up from that. It's more than that.
And it depends on the video. Like shift at midnight, you're getting paid more than double
because it's like that's a four hour video. It's gonna take you six hours to edit that,
seven hours to edit that. You fired him? No, 3FS just started doing his own thing.
That motherfucker makes a million dollars and not a million dollars a year. That
motherfucker makes good money now. 3FS pulls like 800k video views on a
fucking finacity now. Why the hell would he edit for me?
I'm going to stop pausing. Can we lock in? Can we lock in? I'm done talking about
editing in fucking 3FS right now. He is funny as hell though. I do love him.
How many editors do you have for? I have a thumbnail guy that also edits and then three editors and Brady survive
But brady editor quote unquote would take a gap year
And if I made it during that time, I wouldn't go back to college
It was hard to explain to a lot of people because they thought dude, you're saying you're taking a gap year for this
But I was so ready to prove myself
Oh my god, is she a fucking cancer? I swear to god, this video is just gonna take a
Why are they doing this in a Darman video?
Why are they doing this in a Darman video?
I'm like, what the fuck?
I'm so happy to hold.
Mom, can you, um, please tell me what's going on?
Why didn't you tell me?
There was no reason to worry you.
Bollywood's cool.
See, you've had cancer the entire time I was at Gardner Web.
What stage?
Stage 3.
Speech 3.
I've already cut up.
Deficiency to move.
What the fuck are you eating Jason?
I can't tell what that is.
I mean every Darman video comes up with the worst possible scenario.
at the worst possible scenario.
I know this is a sad scene.
I'm just sitting here like, they're immigrants
and they moved to Canada and then moved to the US
and then he wanted to be a pro tennis player
if they didn't work out.
Now he's trying to become a Minecrafter.
Now his mom's dying in fucking stage three cancer.
Next thing, the dad's gonna get run over by a fucking car
and his head's gonna get fucking flattened
and then he's gonna, the pressure's gonna be on.
Because.
This is his real life story.
This is Socks for One's real life story.
Holy shit!
He went through all of this?
You're lying.
The real life story of Socks for One.
This is the worst possible thing that could happen.
This doesn't even seem real.
I feel like this actually feels like a fucking Darman video.
He tries to be a pro tennis player, it doesn't work, he starts editing for CypherPK?
You're getting cancelled?
Well, I didn't say anything that fucked up, I'm not making fun of a mom, I'm saying
this is the worst possible thing that could happen.
Holy shit!
Oh my god, that makes this so much more real.
And then how the fuck are you supposed to be an entertaining YouTuber
and be happy and joyous on camera for people to get fucking views
When you just found out your mom has stage 3 cancer.
But like that's just like a horrible start.
Like how are you able to make content?
This age is so sweet, Miss Nami.
I don't chew, yeah?
Yo, socks for one. I'm gonna say this as well.
If you're watching, I'm sorry I made fun of you trying to be a pro tennis player.
I did not know this was your real life story.
That was the thing I that was the only thing I made fun of I'm sorry. I made fun of you for trying to be a pro tennis player
That is I I thought that didn't I didn't think I thought you were just in the video
I didn't know that you were actually trying to be a pro tennis player
You're a bully bro, I didn't know this was his real life story the only thing I made fun of was the pro tennis player
I didn't know
All right, I'm walking
What?
She gets killed.
Brother, this is so sad.
The next few months were the hardest of all.
It's not on me being in it?
Cause it's featuring socks for one, you stupid fuck.
I thought he was just in the video.
I didn't think this was actually his fucking life story.
Holy shit!
I mean, did I have to prove that I can make a career out of this?
Bro, I'm sitting here going, why does every Darman video have this?
I'm like, what is him being checky and have to do with the video?
It's cuz it's his life story.
Nah, I feel like such an asshole now.
Oh my god.
Bro, every Darman video is just fucking made up.
I've never known that this is a real life story.
Holy shit, because it doesn't seem real.
This seems like some shit out of a fucking documentary.
Oh my god, Sasha, I'm so sorry.
Well, my dad and then my mom were always fighting.
What's up, guys?
So, today we're gonna be...
Like, how are you supposed to be a YouTuber, dude?
Your parents are arguing.
You're running low on money.
Your mom's...
You're minus cancer.
And then you're trying to make, oh, hey, what's up, guys?
Today, we're gonna be doing a Minecraft Let's Play.
We're gonna be doing a Minecraft Let's Play.
Because, one, they just allowed their son to leave.
And I'm gonna get real serious here and I know chat's trolling and I'm gonna get real serious here. I
Was not an avid viewer of techno blade. However, I did watch some of his videos and I gotta say
while he's different situation because he was the one that had cancer versus a parent but
Him to be able to be entertaining and put on that face for his audience
While he was going through all of that
Legitimately insane
Like I don't I don't know how he did that, you know
And I think it's because he just wanted to create content for people so bad
I think he cared about his audience and I mean everybody obviously cared about him too, but still man. That was just
College I remember the day side note. I remember the day when his dad made the announcement video and I was like, holy fuck man
And he was only like what 23 24?
And as bandits, the scholarship.
Bro, now it's in here tweaking! This is a real fucking story.
I hope his mom gets through the fucking cancer, bro. I'm like, how about it?
He'll laugh at me and tell me how I'm doing my job wrong as a father.
And two, because of my mom's condition, the bills from medical expenses were piling up.
There's food.
My dad did everything he could for my mom, taking her to various doctors, but all it
did was make him mad when they gave the same diagnosis.
Same suggest-
She had that?
She had-
Wait, what?
Oh, common types of cancer.
I thought they were saying she had fucking all of these at once.
Same suggest the treatments.
There is a study that I can get you into,
but it doesn't look promising.
And the same answers every single time.
It may or may not work.
The prognosis in stage three.
It will be at this.
I promise.
All the money I was making during this period
was to support my family.
Yet, through every...
No!
Oh my god, stop.
My mom-
Bro, I thought I was gonna be watching a corny ass star man video right now, and this is getting so sad.
Mom was still the one supporting me. She always made it seem like nothing was wrong.
You have to remember that you have to eat something and drink.
Mommy really didn't have to.
Nothing.
You remember.
It's a great day.
Wow, it's great.
Do you think that's an actual video of his?
Minecraft, every time I jump, I jump higher.
It's great.
She was a really stubborn woman. She liked doing things herself.
Oh my God, he said was. And I'm past. And I'm past. And I'm past.
And never let anyone think she needed their help.
I'm okay.
Hello.
Good job, Nick.
Thanks.
Even when she lost an extreme amount of weight
and got weaker,
she treated every day like it was just another normal day.
Still, I did my best to help around
keep her busy. But none of the treatments were working. So day by day, I watched her
healthy climb.
The worst was, when the cancer hit her brain, she couldn't talk anymore. She couldn't understand
me, but she couldn't respond. But I could tell that she was so proud of me.
I hit 250,000 subscribers on YouTube today.
I know you were looking forward to an update, so.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Oh my god, dude. No, this, I'm actually crying right now.
Oh my god, I know this is so fucking sad.
This is so fucking sad.
This is so fucking sad.
This took the worst pivot ever.
This took the fucking worst pivot ever.
I was making fun of his tennis career in the beginning
and now this is just the fucking saddest shit.
Oh my god.
I think it's even fucking worse to experience with like a direct parent like your mom or
your dad, but like even with my grandpa, bro, you're fucking out of your last conversation
with that with them. And it's just like, you know, and they know, and it's just bad.
And I feel like you go, it's so weird, because you go through every day of your life, I'm
trying to get like philosophical right now, or like just like emotional sappy, but you
you go through like every day of your life.
And the majority, I feel like everybody's just trying,
it feels so, it makes me angry sometimes.
And I know there's people that are religious
and people that think about death and deal with death.
And it's like, yeah, that happens on a day to day basis.
But I feel like all eight billion of us
casually are just like ignoring the fact
that one day we're going to die
and there's nothing we could do about it.
So you just kind of live in like the Sims verse
until some shit hits the fan
and then you got to fucking confront it.
And when you have to confront it
is like the worst fucking days of your life.
Like having to sit there and act,
it's like thinking about it and then experiencing it.
It's like you kind of just push it down.
It's like, not an ignorance is blessed type of thing,
but it's like you kick the can down the road
because you don't have to deal with it right now.
You only have to deal with it when you have to deal with it.
when either you're dying or somebody you know is dying.
But either way, it doesn't make it any fucking better.
I think about death every day.
I think about death every day, but it's like,
you think about death every day,
not in the same sense as like,
dealing with the death of a loved one.
Like dealing, like I can't even fucking fathom
that he had to deal with his mom being like on a,
basically hospice.
I don't know if she was on hospice,
with a hospital bed, dealing with cancer that's spread to your brain when he's white in his
early 20s.
Like that's fucking horrible, dude.
I can't even describe this feeling.
It's almost like you're right there, you know?
You wish you could do something, but there's...
Mom!
Mom!
Mom!
Oh my god, I'm losing your mom, I'm losing your mom man, that's like the fucking worst,
holy shit.
I don't know about like other people and like you might have a different relationship with
your parents bro, but like I think that would be the worst thing for me.
Like losing my mom would be the worst fucking thing for me.
I just feel like in general, man, like I'm a guy like your your mom's like the woman you go to
Me love you the law was a simple
Choose a state of mom
Dude, and it's just like, oh my God, having to deal with that in your 20s, man, having
to deal with that in your 20s is so fucking bad.
So fucking bad.
Like I just can't even fucking imagine it.
It makes me anxious almost and in like a selfish way because it's just, you always have like
your like, at the end of the day, you want to have, I'm not saying everybody has this,
but like for me at least.
But my mom's somebody I can lean on, you know?
And I think everybody tries to have somebody they can lean on and it's like losing that person is like holy fuck.
Like what do you do?
Like that would be like, that's like the first time like you'd feel like oh my god the aloneness.
I'm looking back on it, I think that's because she was always trying to make sure that we
had the happy lives, that we lived lives that killed us.
So, this is the best Iron Man video I've ever seen.
This has gone from me thinking this was a meme video to literally being pro- I'm sitting
here going why are they speaking in chat, what does this have to do with the video, it's
his fucking life dude.
Oh my god.
I don't think I'd be who I am today if it wasn't for my mom.
She was always in my corner.
More than I was a tennis matcher on the other end of the phone
when I'm making the hardest decision in my life.
She always showed.
It's trick, very stubborn,
but endlessly supportive.
Love you, mom.
I'm kicking him straight in the fucking teeth.
I am kicking him straight in the fucking teeth right then and there.
Oh my god.
I would be, dude, the anger.
I talked about this in a video after my grandpa died, but like when I went to his funeral,
He was like kind of my father, my parents have been divorced since I was a kid, little
Jeb Art Yap story.
My grandpa was like a pseudo father figure for me.
So him die really sucked.
And when I went to his funeral, like it was really sad and then just like a wave of anger.
I remember I walked into the bathroom and I punched the door to the bathroom and it
was fucking metal.
I bruised the shit out of my knuckles.
I thought I broke my hand, but I just didn't care.
I if I had some fuck walk up to me. I heard you here. I heard you quit tennis
Drawing him instantly. Don't care
Hey
If you listen to my advice
You'd be going pro by now
If you do good good will always come back to you
Oh my god, and I was sitting there saying that was a corny darman line if his mom actually said that that is the fight
I mean now I feel like such a dickhead. I feel like such a dickhead
Yeah, but my mom always said that if you do good things, good will come back to you.
So I'm not too worried if you feel good good to come back to you.
See believe in that?
Good luck to have.
Oh, he's walking away with two shattered kneecaps.
He's crawling away with two shattered kneecaps.
Right after your fucking mom dies, this loser ass tennis coach comes up to you
and fucking says, oh, how about that?
The thing about grief is nobody really teaches you how to,
you know, process it.
So, I kind of- Bro, I don't know.
If I have socks for one on fucking Discord,
I gotta message him and be like,
this is the best video I've ever seen from Darn Man.
I feel like I have him on something.
Because he's been in my stream.
They didn't process it.
Instead, I distracted myself with work.
You never get over it, it just gets easier, it never goes away.
Yeah, that's grief, man.
I mean, the best thing that I've always heard is that grief is love with nowhere to go.
And so you, like, you think about a person and you feel sentimental and loving towards them,
but because they're not there anymore,
it like turns into this alternative sadness.
And it's not like, it's not sadness, it's grief.
And there's no way to like describe it
until you experience it.
And cut off communications with everyone.
And I-
It's like almost, it feels like it's just depressing.
I played it myself in my own apartment.
I ended up gaining 40 pounds.
And my mental health was declining.
I was putting all my energy into the channel,
but I wasn't taking care of myself.
I don't think that's uncommon
for a lot of people in the content space too,
when they have issues to just kind of delve more into it.
And then they kind of get out of it
and realize that they haven't actually like fixed
any of their problems.
They've just kind of poured every waking moment
in the content.
Hey, how old were you and your parents divorced?
I don't remember it.
I have only grown up with parents that are not together.
You are doing well.
I found this photo of you and your mom.
After I looked myself in the mirror,
I realized how much I let myself go.
What happened, D-Nec?
I was determined to get my life back on track.
My first hire ended up being a personal trainer to help me get back in shape.
Come on, give me one more, give me one more, you got it?
This ain't you, this ain't you!
Alright, so I hired a team of people to support me so I could finally have some balance in my life.
I reached out to streamers and paid them to review my work.
Hey, turn it up. But hey at least to help me get better
Well, I remember socks for one came into my stream when I had just like started streaming
Not just started streaming, but I was I was not big and he just dropped like some crazy dono
I'm looking at his account
Yeah, he started following me in 2022
He just dropped a dono for a video.
First celebration.
I'm so proud of you.
I do that.
That's actually socks for one.
Wow, what a pivot.
You know, what a pivot.
I just wish mom was here to celebrate with us.
You know, she's always supporting you.
I wonder, I assume this is an actor
because I don't know his parents,
but that would be cool if it was like his dad.
You know, like, is that his actual father?
She's always supporting you, no matter the distance.
Thank you.
Mr. Sway?
Yes, you're under arrest.
What?
What?
What? No.
That's amazing.
The tennis coach got arrested.
The tennis coach got arrested.
The tennis coach got arrested.
At the end of this.
This, I, yo.
I feel like an ass
I watched, I got about nine minutes into the video thinking this was just like not even nine minutes. It was right before they announced the mom had an issue.
It's like six minutes in. I'm just making fun of like tennis.
Seventh ranked in the state. Oh my God, I was clowning on him for that. Yo, socks are what I'm so sorry, bro.
I thought that shit was fake.
I did not. I thought you were just in the video like a side actor. I didn't think this was your life. And then I realized
And I was like wow why does every Darmand video have the worst possible twist?
Like sox for one actually had to go through the worst possible things. Oh
My god, bro, I need a DM that motherfucker and say this is the best video ever
Oh my god, I might have just said to collab out loud that I'm doing
because I just read texts out loud like a fucking idiot.
Oh my god, socks for one. He follows me on Instagram. I messaged him. Bro, just watched
your Darman video on stream.
Darman video on stream.
That shit was the best video I have
ever seen. You have gone through the most stuff and got
through it. Also, for six minutes, thought it was just
Vid you were in not your life may have made fun of you trying to go pro in tennis. I
Am sorry for that as well
The apology bro, I made fun of them. I'm sorry. I didn't mean I knew that was a real life
I wouldn't have fucking made fun of that
I wouldn't have been like, oh, you're gonna go for it for Dennis.
Well, I'd probably still want to clown on it a little bit,
but I would have been a little bit more heartfelt, you know?
I did ask, did not realize that was it.
That did not seem like something someone actually had to go through.
Holy fuck.
You have immigrant parents move over, you want to be a pro tennis player,
you go to college, fake that shit, try to be a YouTuber, edit for CypherPK.
In the in the video I go oh just for shits and giggles. I'm gonna see I'm immersing myself into this when it actually happened
Bro edited for Cypher pk. Wow
Crazy video that was the best star man video I've ever seen I'm I'm I'm so serious
Holy fuck. That was so sad to have cancer, man
Viper think of the three
Starting out content creation, what tips do you have somebody trying to grow your YouTube videos or peak?
Just content throttle, bro
I always say think about where you're gonna do don't stream nine hours stream four hours stream three hours come up with the idea
playing that shit out prior
Cut it down for a YouTube video. I mean outside of that. That's like what I do
I don't really know what type of content creation you even want to make
I've made some videos about it. You could probably Google them, but outside of that the mighty for the subject
Think of it a 3 I think you're being amazing powerful person in my life. Thank you
Autistic thinking of the two subs.
Audio thinking of the seven, etch for the three.
Mom died from liver cancer when I was seven.
And it was hard growing up louder.
I'm sorry for your loss, genuinely.
I remember being woke up in the middle of the night
hearing that she passed.
That is so sad.
Your streams make me happy thinking of providing content.
Well, I'm sorry you had to go through that
and that you are going through that.
And F cancer in the chart.
I'm sorry for the loss of your mom, man.
Glirian thinking of the five gifteds.
OGPZO, Serpent for the three, Petite, Slen,
Autistic think of it a three both my aunts and grandmother have cancer this should wait this shit is way too relatable
I'll leave the sub talk of the sub Tony. I'll take it the three I
Lost my dad it wasn't the cancer feeling of losing a loved one's definitely a feeling the worst feeling you could have all 100%
Drew and Jared for the seven. I'm sorry for your loss as well
Basically, thank you for the five gift. It's autistic for the sub all the part Nova and ghost for the three
Keep it a quick my my five months year old loves listening to the stream when we drive back from daycare
I feel like I would make a child cry if they heard my stream
Grip and Coo for the sub it's half
Calvin V and chance for the sub Lopez and T welding for the sub
Spark you it's night in Monica. Thank you for the three
Han and V for the sub Hank Matt and jelly for the three happy birthday, Janie
Chroma and green for the sub I'll test like thank you for the five giftids
I think of the three don't that that's right now chat. I'm gonna read the rest of these but I won't be able to read them after that
Dale think of it three
No, I'm not going to Manhattan Beach, probably.
I think of it the five.
I've been struggling with depression for almost a whole year.
My parents helped me and help me bring you help me bring up my mood when I started therapy.
Well, I'm glad I was able to help.
I hope you're okay.
Simon, the sub-rock thing of the three.
Watch a movie called Greenland.
It's top 10, top 15.
Dig, thank you.
The three that might even put a sub count to the three.
My mom got diagnosed with cancer when I was 13.
I have cancer in the chat.
It broke me.
She beat it.
Well, it's fucking great.
She beat it genuinely.
Seeing you do the charity shoots for cancer is so good to see.
Thank you.
Thank you as well a lesson friend thinking this up. Thank you for the nice message dude
This actually makes me I didn't know what one I was gonna do for that
I haven't done a cancer charity stream in a while
This makes me want to do the one that I'm doing August 19th for cancer because I know September is gonna be mental health
Because I always do suicide prevention awareness month. Oh
my god
That makes me want to do I kind of want to know what
Invite socks for one. I kind of want to know what cancer she had bro. I normally do F cancer
I've done BCRF for Breast Cancer Relief Fund.
I've done a lot of different niche cancer streams too.
But I usually do the broad ones,
just because they kind of do just overall cancer research
and just funding for treatment as well.
True it, take it for the 5K bitties.
You've been to GoFollow since 2020,
I want to say you're only the concert caterer at watch
from 15 to 21, I feel like we age at the same time.
I mean, yeah, bro, you grew up with me.
I mean, I'm three years older than you, but still.
Yeah, people always say that they're like, Joe, I the other day I saw somebody going
Joe Bart's play through of the walking dead telltale pissed me the fuck off
He's acting like a literal teenager in it and I went because I was
Because I was you're looking at a playthrough of me from when I was 19, right?
Yeah, I know shit, you know, like I like I understand you're a mad at me for they're like he's so immature in that really
Like, not that I don't feel bad about it, like yeah, I was like making fun of the kid
in The Walking Dead to the point where I was like, she got like domed and I was like, but
like, it was too, I, you know, I maybe would make a joke like that now in a video game,
but like, yeah, I egged it on too far.
You've always been a bully.
I'm not a bully.
think in media in TV shows movies and games kids have plot armor and they
shouldn't I don't like that how it's different if it's a main character as
plot armor but if it's like a extra that is a kid and it's like it could be the
Avengers everybody else is dying and there's a kid and like a car lands right
next to the kid bro that motherfucker is getting crushed red mist right lame
Shark Tank bro Shark Tank. I just don't like any of that. I don't like
I've gone on rants about AGT. I if you put me on America's Got Side Rant
If you put me on America's Got Side Rant, I'd be the most dickhead judge you've ever seen in your fucking life
Okay, I'm not doing any of this bullshit
Where like people come on and it's like I'm gonna sing today and it's like a 10 year old and they suck
And we're just gonna let them through because they're a kid and we don't want them to cry
I get out, you know, it's America's Got Talent.
We're fighting for a million dollars in a show in Vegas.
Am I really gonna watch some jerk-off kid
for a fucking playing cards and a banana?
Like that's the lamest talent I've ever seen in my life.
I, like, call me a hater, right?
Call me a hater, but like, you're really,
you're really gonna fucking,
you're really gonna put that kid through?
What are we doing?
I'm not a d1 hater. You'd say the same shit
Imagine you waited all day in line to do America's Got Talent and your talent's actually pretty good and they let the kid in front
of you go when they're like
And then you get on and you do your talent and fucking how he hits you with our
Sorry, it's just not for me. Meanwhile, he gave that fucking loser in front of you the fucking golden buzzer
You're straight to the finale straight to the finale your talent
No, I
Do love how we though. I don't dislike how he Mandel. He's just too nice
He's too nice and Simon Simon's not as mean as he was before I miss the 2012 days
2015 days of AGT where they had what was his fucking name? What was his fucking name? He owns a radio show host now
It's not Howie Mandel. It's not a Simon Cowell. What's his name? You know who I'm talking about. He has curly hair. He's a dickhead
He's Howard Stern. You need Howard Stern. You need a Howard Stern on the fucking judge table
You need an asshole because if you don't have an asshole, then you have everybody there and they're just like I love this talent
This is so good
Everybody's so oh wow everybody's so awesome. No
Right, and now they don't even show the shit talents anymore. They just fucking send people through
And you know how they you know how I know that that you know how I don't want them to do their backstories in AGT
Is because people con it there have been people on AGT that either been kicked out or shown to have lied about being a veteran
lied about having like
Tourette's lied about having all this shit because it gets them through
Because it gets them through don't don't let people tell their life story on AGT
That's the only thing I would say it should just be talent and whether or not you win you win, you know
Like it shouldn't just be like oh, hey, I've served here because that's gonna get you through
All right, I'm done talking about that
How does one fake Tourette's
He just faked I I'm pretty sure that guy faked having Tourette's
Daniel just bought ecstasy on Hansa. It's one of the
One minute. Sorry. Sorry. It's entirely Daniels. Daniel just bought ecstasy on Hansa. No, um,
guy who faked having Tourette's on AGT. Bro, wasn't there a guy that faked having Tourette's
on AGT. He was a singer and he said that when he sung he didn't have it.
It was a stutter. Oh, not to Rats. He faked having a stutter.
Timothy Michael Poe in 2012 claimed that a brain injury and backbreaking grenade in Afghanistan
and gave him a stutter and singing helped him manage it.
It was proven that all of his military combat injury claims
were false, pointed out that the stutter appeared inconsistent,
heavily exaggerated, and put on for cameras
to get more empathy, or sympathy.
Wolf, lame.
Like, there's, bro, that people just do that though.
That's not like the only time somebody's done that on ADT.
And it worked.
And it worked when he did it.
Did it work?
Yeah, that's what I'm saying, they gotta stop doing that.
Pharrell, think of it a three.
Have you seen Spider-Man yet?
No, Cypher, think of it a five.
Who's been your favorite Broly Bro collab?
1v1, 2v2, or 3v3?
The 2v2 was really fun.
Me, Jynx, Evers, Ron, and Jason, that was super fun.
1v1, Broly Bro?
The 4v4 yesterday was super fun as well.
My favorite 1v1, Broly Bro, probably Yugi.
It got the most clips the Yugi Brovy Bro did get the most views maybe not for the right reasons, but I
Don't know
The Brovy Bro versus Ron was good. I
Think the one I did against Jojo was really fun. I just love Jojo
I think that was like a while back though true it take over the two cabinet easier to go
Thank you, Marco, Echo, take it with us here too.
Bam, love and ginger, take it with us.
Yo, we are not getting through all these videos, by the way.
We're getting through this video
and probably we're gonna have to cut one.
We're gonna watch this though,
because you guys have been seeing and recommending this.
Also, if you have any videos you haven't watched,
you can watch games in the play video,
search on the game, search that, block in.
Hansa, the infiltration of the dark web.
Daniel just bought Ecstasy on Hansa.
It's one of the largest dark net markets,
Offering drugs, weapons, malware, stolen credit card info, and more.
Bro, but I always ask, I feel like every time I watch something having to do with the dark web,
how do you know that you're actually buying legit drugs and you're not buying drugs from a cop
or that they're just going to send you some fake shit?
Like, you're on the dark web, it's kind of like an anything goes type shit, you know?
Like, you could be talking to a cop, you could be, you're like, risking that.
I feel like it's not worth it.
Like I'd rather go buy ecstasy from a drug dealer than risk buying that shit on the dark web and just
Bank that I'm getting it from a legit guy
Unfortunately Daniel's order doesn't go as planned. He gets into an argument with the vendor Dutch candy shop. It goes nowhere
Dutch candy shop so Daniel does what any frustrated customer would do
He contacts customer support
They got a customer support on the dark web
That's a thing. I feel like that's the only area where like customer support probably wouldn't exist.
The moderator steps in to help, but the dispute escalates. So the mon calls for an admin.
The admin replies quickly, calms the situation down, and solves the problem within minutes.
Hence his service is smooth, professional, and efficient. The admin in particular is good at his job.
But he's even better at his real job, working under cover for the Dutch police's high-tech
crime unit.
They've successfully infiltrated Hans's servers and taken over operations.
Unbeknownst to anybody in the digital underworld, they're dismantling the site's promises
of anonymity, identifying vendors, reading supposedly encrypted chats and tracking their
home addresses.
But all it takes is one wrong message, one small mistake, and they could realize he's
a fraud.
What are they arresting people that are buying the drugs or the people that are distributing
them?
The story of one of the boldest international police investigations of all time, likely the
largest trap in dark net history.
This is a- I gotta say as well, I don't understand what the dark web is.
I've watched multiple videos on it and I still don't get it.
Is it, it's not a website, it's like, what is the dark web?
Like, it's not a web browser,
like, it feels like an alleyway in Google at 3 a.m.
Like, how do you access the dark web?
How do you get on the dark web?
Onion, I don't know what onion is.
Like, you gotta realize, I'm a fucking idiot
when it comes to this shit.
It's an onion browser.
Operation bayonet.
Use Tor browsers.
Yeah, bro. And then like...
Yo, you know what's crazy to us? How do y'all be on the dark web?
Ron said he's trash talking and he's beating you in 100.
He's running a mile right now.
You guys say that you want me to play Black Ops 2, so maybe just maybe today, the return
of the Best Buy segment.
We're going to Best Buy, get some shit, we're going to set it up.
We're going to set it up.
Joe is watching.
watching?
You know what, I'll just call Joe.
I'll just call Joe.
I've been practicing this line.
I got this.
Ready?
Listen to this.
Joe, Joe, Joe.
Yeah?
You silly little man picking up my phone.
This will be the last time we talk before streamer games where I'll perish.
before streamer games where I'll perish you.
I've been practicing my 100 meter dash.
I've been practicing my running.
I've been practicing my air intake
so that my lungs can perform at its highest capacity.
In two days, just in two days.
And you could drag your 35% body fat body
across the finish line.
You're practicing for the 100 meters by running a mile.
That's like the most unrelated distance runs.
is endurance once speed. You're gonna run a four minute mile. If you run a four minute
mile, I'll give you fucking $5,000. You're not running a four minute mile. I don't think
you're gonna run an eight minute mile. Okay, okay, I'm gonna say this, I'm gonna say this
as well. I'm not allowed to use trackspikes on Saturday. So you know I'm about to see you in person
in less than 48 hours. You're telling this almost up. You better start practicing, bro.
Bro, what am I going to practice? We got two days. You're right. You can't prepare for death
see you in 48 hours. Wait, Ron, I have one more. I was going to fucking do the same thing.
I was going to do the same thing.
That was all, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I literally was going to go away.
I run. I got one more thing I got to say,
and then I was going to hang up.
That was cool.
This is it, man.
I got 48 hours to practice.
I'm doing the mile run today.
I'm going for a sub 14 minutes.
We're doing it today, bro.
I'm excited.
Yeah.
I'm actually going to run a 12-second hundred.
No track spikes.
It's over.
You're going to watch me run a 12-2.
I think I'll still win with a 12 to I think about I think about I don't know maybe better
You said low 11 with tracks bikes 11 now. I have an excuse. Thank you Ludwig for banning tracks bikes Ludwig
Thank you for banning tracks bikes because now I have an excuse for when I run a 12-5
I'll say it's all in the tracks bikes. I'll say ah shit. I had to run in sneakers. I
Don't run in sneakers man
I saw somebody make an edit of me and they were like Joe beating speed number one speed not going number two
Speed would smoke me in a hundred meters. I think speed would actually be my over a second in a hundred meter race
It's not close. I lose you're getting 14 seconds. I'm not running 14 seconds
I think you want my honest guess I run between an 11 8 and a 12 to
With no spikes I think with spikes it would be like 11 5 to 11 9
When is the above 12 punishment happening?
I did say if I run over a 12-second-hundred-meter,
I'd be a whole head of lettuce on stream.
I don't know what I'll do that.
Whatever we're back at some point,
it'll probably be during a stream,
like I'll just munch on the lettuce as I play a game.
Maybe during a react, is that fair?
We'll watch a maybe a long video and I'll
just eat the head of lettuce while I'm watching.
I think that would probably be the ideal.
Like if I run a 12-second 100, over 12 seconds.
Okay, we said over 12 seconds.
What if I run 12.0?
Let's hash this out real quick.
Do I still have to eat Nelletis?
So it has to be 11.0 something.
I can't wait till I run an 11.99
and I'm just gonna fucking,
I'm gonna get on my knees and kiss the ground
and say, thank you.
It's in the description.
It's 2017 and law enforcement is having a tough time.
Dark net markets are on the rise.
They offer completely new ways for criminals to sell their goods and services.
And tracking down who's behind them is hard.
The operators hide behind layers of anonymity and encryption.
years of investigation. In 2013, law enforcement in the United States finally caught their
first dark-knit king, Ross Fulbright, the mastermind behind the infamous Silk Road.
The black market bazaar known as the Silk Road is now offline and the founder behind bars.
How much was he selling? Like how much was he this guy fronting? Like I need to know
numbers here. Was this guy making $20 million a year fucking selling shit on the dark web?
Like was he just the one that was setting this shit up that people would use it? Like
Victory was short-lived.
Just 35 days later, former Silk Road moderators launched millions of dollars in Bitcoin.
Silk Road 2.0.
When old kings fall, new ones rise.
Trump pardoned him?
No.
The number of dark...
Really?
...dead markets exploded.
Wow, he pardoned him in January 21st, 2025.
What did Ross Albrecht do?
He operated the software of the first modern darknet marketplace from 2011 to 2013, so
So he started that.
He was guilty of drug trafficking, money laundering, and computer hacking.
He served 11 years.
How much money did Ross Albrecht have?
of millions, it just says alpha bay appeared in 2014 and it grew exponentially about a
year after its launch the site claimed that had over 200 now I'm getting so nervous about
this 100 meters chat can we get can we get my mind off this I got I wouldn't get back
on the video bro and there's like too much pressure there's too much pressure I'm gonna
be nervous and there's gonna be like a live audience like it's not even like okay yeah
There's like fucking thousands of people watching online like whatever bro like there's gonna be people like there
That are like physically watching me run a hundred meters and like what if I like choke?
What if I like eat shit or like fucking twist my ankle or fall?
You know what I mean
I'll laugh
Okay, if I win, but I run like a 12-2, is that still lame?
Like, I'm gonna beat Ron. Like, I'm gonna beat Ron.
I'm not losing to Ron.
If I lost to Ron, I would never hear the end of it.
Oh my god, I would never hear the end of it.
I would fake feigning.
I would fake feigning.
If I was if I'm running the hundred meter and by some fucking act of God
I see stable renown as five four ass running past me. I'm dead ass faking a charlie horse and fainting
I'm saying that right now I'm doing I'm thinking that job. Oh fuck. I pulled my hamstring
100,000 registered users and 40,000 vendors now it processes more than half a million dollars in transactions
All right, I'm locked in. I'm locked in. I'm locked in. I'm good now.
Here in 2014.
Give a strategy.
And it grew exponentially.
I thought you don't believe in God. I don't.
About a year after its launch, the site claimed it had over 200,000 registered users and 40,000
vendors. Now it processes more than half a million dollars in transactions every single day.
Alpha Bay is bigger than Silk Road ever was. Its operator Alpha O2 is crowned the new king of
of the dark net. A global manhunt ensues to bring him down. We covered that story in one
of our first videos on this channel.
Ah, of time flies.
May 2017. The team of US investigators arrives at Europol headquarters in The Hague. They're
here to meet with other law enforcement agencies. They share updates in their investigations
and make sure no toes get stepped on. The Americans kick things off. They're in a good
The team believes they've found Alpha Base server and its operator
All clues point
to Thailand I
Just feel like it's so hard like people always go. Okay. Yeah, he's operating them. He's operating the dark web
He's making millions of dollars and now he's just rich, but it's like it's beyond that
Like not only does he have to hide himself and operate the dark web
Or like the alpha 2 marketplace, but he's also like the money that he's making he has the money wander in some way
It's like crypto makes that easier now, but like how is he buying shit like at the government's gonna go
What do you fucking do? You know, why are you why are you worth millions of dollars?
Now they're about to make their move
You need to clean the money I and there's probably ways to do that crypto wise I just I don't know you might have noticed
We got reenactments now just to step it up a notch
organizing shoots like these is pretty complicated and there's so many moving
parts because of the sliders get it and I do want to say this is a side note
firm was bought by private equity and a lot of people are like private equity
like it private equity is a you have to have a nuance take bro you can't just go
it's good or bad because there's certain instances where it's bad but in this
sense it's like bro they just have a such a big crew now that they use to have
higher production value things, you know? And I know they're doing a sponsor now, but it's like
crazy that they're doing, um, like live action reenactment.
Febrake, the technical advisor to the Dutch prosecutor's office, takes the stage.
He starts with an update in their current investigations into Hansa.
As he shares more and more details, the room begins to buzz with excitement.
And then he suggests something truly insane.
Every device that connects with the internet has an IP address.
This unique address allows it to be identified so it can send and receive data.
An IP address can also give away rough location details, like the city your laptop is in,
and who your internet provider is.
That's why Daniel likes to use the Torr browser.
Torr works with layered encryption.
Daniel's data enters the network. It's encrypted multiple times wrapped in layers like an onion
Then tour routes
Onion I got it. I got it Daniel's traffic through. No, this isn't an ad. This is just what he's using
This actually does feel like a good promo for Tori though
This makes this makes tour seemed a lot like even if you're not surfing the dark web. This seems
seems like better than Google.
from tracking and building a profile on the user
by making it more difficult to see who they are
and what they're looking at.
When it closes the browser,
its cookies in history are automatically wiped.
Sites can also be hosted within the TOR network.
They use special dot-onion domains
and are only accessible over secure TOR connections.
The anonymity TOR offers is crucial for journalists,
activists living in authoritarian regimes,
and whistleblowers.
But it's also great for users like Daniel,
Daniel, who wanna buy-
Who wanna buy KRAK online?
For users like Daniel, who wanna get high out of their fucking mind.
Daniel's gonna go on the dark web and buy ecstasy that's gonna get shipped in a discreet
package right to his door.
Rugs or other illicit goods.
And for the people selling them.
Dark dev markets usually take even more precautions.
Then that's even fucking sketchier, bro.
You're ordering ecstasy on the dark web and you're going, uh, yeah, I don't know you,
but, uh, ship it here.
Along with TOR, users and vendors communicate via encrypted chats and use relatively anonymous
payment methods like crypto.
These layers of protection make it hard for
Can I tell you a TROP coin?
...law enforcement to track down the real location of a dark-dead market server, its
operator, or individual vendors and buyers.
Hard.
But not impossible.
If law enforcement identifies where chunks of TOR infrastructure are located, they can
monitor these relays.
for years. They measured the timing and size of traffic as it exits a Tor node. Then they
correlate this with data provided by internet service providers. ISP data, the info connected
to your IP address, is often available to law enforcement. For example, the user keeps
connecting to the Tor network at certain times. Very briefly afterward, traffic of the same size
exits a specific node. Oh my god and they're able to trace it back to that person by looking at both
both the entry and the exit?
Penses are, that traffic belongs to that specific user.
This is how German authorities were able to track down
one of the people behind a pedophile darknet platform.
Wow.
Thor explicitly warns users about traffic correlation
and timing analysis, as it does not defend
against such a threat model.
But, well, none of that was even necessary in Hans's case.
The operators simply dung goofed.
What is HANSA, is that, I don't understand HANSA, is HANSA just the group that sells
these drugs?
It's the fall of 2016, roughly nine months before the FBI starts to close in on Alpha
02.
Researchers from Bitdefender, a private cybersecurity company working with Europol,
or something in a Dutch data center. A weird server. It looks like it's used for staging.
Staging servers are essentially test labs. Developers use them to try out new features
before pushing them live. This server contains code, configs, and backups. They all link
to a Tor front-end. It seems to be used for a dark net market.
Bro, it's too much. It's too much. It's too much. It's too much. It's too much. It's
Can't even bro when I run my fucking Minecraft server and I have to buy a dedicated server for that
And I'm like, okay
So my Minecraft server is actually being hosted in like fucking Pala Hassee, Florida in some fucking warehouse
That's like running the fucking code and like I don't understand any of this shit like it's not no
It's not weed brain
I don't think you understand like unless you actually went to college or like genuinely got educated on this shit like
Like, you understand very surface-level things, like, you don't understand how a server works,
where all of your fucking shit's going, like, any of that.
But unlike the darknet market it appears to belong to, it isn't concealed.
The server isn't hidden in the Tor network.
The operators seem to have just left it here, out in the open clearnet, vulnerable and unprotected.
And as the researchers dig in-
So they hack into it?
They even find clues about which dark net market the staging server belongs to.
Hansa.
To this day, Bitdefender has never disclosed how exactly they found the server in the first place.
We asked them, but they didn't respond.
Maybe somebody ratted.
Back in 2016, Bitdefender's researchers report the search...
Read bits. Toaster is cloudy thinking for the five gifts of Berksillie.
Do you know I'm thinking for some literal for the three?
I don't know maybe nay and play think of it said I think of it a thousand buddies. Love you do for awareness
I work for 988. Can I share one of the websites we use for resources for callers?
Yeah, sure. I my mods might already have that. I don't know you can send it to them though. Mr. Think of it a 3
Can you duck a basketball used to be able to I don't know anymore Brandon think of the 3 I
Would give you up to $50 if you want right now. I don't care about the money right now
I'll do it right now go outside of the street walk hundred meters market and run a hundred meters
now
Q and vault take it the support could big thing of the three
I don't know if I should run track in college or not can't help you with that decision man
That's a big life choice. You got to make yourself
Hold up
Big thing of the three
Man for the sub Cali for the three pretty ear angel mr. Think of the three down over the three
Ginger and less think of the sub markets of the sub truth think of the two thousand buddies literally for the sub for all
I think of the three I come from sub already read those lock-in
to Europol, who in turn inform the Dutch authorities.
For the police, it's a golden opportunity.
After receiving the server's IP, they move quickly.
They contact the web host, the company that provides the staging server to the Hansa admins.
Then they visit the data center and install network monitoring equipment.
This tech monitors all traffic going in and out of the staging server.
In this way, they find out that the staging server is connected to another server in the same location.
And this one is protected by tour.
and it's running Hansa's live site.
They also identify other servers,
four machines located in Germany.
The investigators create bit-for-bit copies
of the server drives and find a trove of evidence.
It's basically the entire digital history
of the dark net market.
They find its source code and a key database.
They gain access to the marketplace's transaction history.
They find a collection of usernames
and password hashes, and almost every encrypted message users have sent through its anonymous
system. Then the investigators hit the jackpot.
Ron Swanson!
One of the German servers, they stumble upon logs of an internet relay chat between the
two Hansa admins. They go by HL and Ron Swanson. 17,000 messages dating back-
Holy fuck. Are there like, do you think there's like more users of the dark web in specific countries or regions?
Like, I feel like a lot of these videos revolve around Europe.
I feel like Europe is where a lot of these specific websites or interactions are.
admin's private PGP keys. Pretty good privacy is an encryption method used to secure messages in
files, and PGP keys are powerful, not something to be left lying around. They can be used to
decrypt and read messages the admins receive and also verify their identities to others.
With them, police could impersonate the admins.
But then, the Hansa server suddenly goes silent. It seems like the admins suspect something
is off. They move their site to another Tor-protected server in an unknown data center. It's a
real setback for the investigation.
Yeah, and then like, where do you go? Like, they just jumped over. It's like, how the
fuck do you find that next server now? And especially if they just have something that's
like telling them, like, oh, there's like certain levels. I don't know how they would
know though, like what made them suspicious? Like if somebody's getting
access, like is there a notification they're getting or like some sort of
like server overload in terms of like power usage or fucking just traffic in
general? For a while the trail goes cold. I work in cybersecurity and he's only
saying the surface of how most of this actually works. Yeah, because I think it's
like super, this is already complex and it's more complex than he's saying it is.
The investigators know who Ron Swanson and HLR, but now arresting them isn't enough.
They want the keys to the kingdom back.
They want the site itself.
In their old chats, the two admins mentioned a bitcoin address.
They used it for paying the Dutch web host.
And suddenly, there's activity on that exact address.
The admins have sent bitcoin somewhere.
Using a tool called Reactor, Dutch police traced the transaction to a Bitcoin payment
processor called BitPay.
The company lets users spend crypto on regular goods and services.
And it has an office in the Netherlands.
Bingo.
Dutch police sent BitPay a legal demand to disclose more information about the transaction.
The company has no choice but to reveal the recipient.
Turns out the Hansa admins used BitPay to pay for servers.
In Lithuania.
DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN
Everyone in the Europol meeting room
In Lithuania, and then it's somehow just like
Loops to Vladimir Putin in the end
And it goes to an IP address in
Moscow, Russia
DUN DUN
Listen anxiously as the Dutch technical advisor presents their findings
He says they're ready to arrest the two Hansa admins
With the help of German police
But why just shut the market down?
Instead, they propose something else.
Something far riskier.
After the arrest in Germany and with the help of the Lithuanian authorities, the Dutch
police want to take over Hansa.
Then, they want to run the site themselves.
And start selling the ecstasy themselves.
This is a classic edging out your competitor in the marketplace.
Monopoly activity, they want to run it themselves.
selling the X to Z themselves.
First, the Americans would take down Alphabet.
As usual, users and vendors would jump to another major market, such as Hansa.
They would simply continue buying and selling their drugs, weapons, hacking tools, etc.,
believing everything was business as usual.
But now the cops would control the market.
What about the fucking admins?
One of the admins be like, why are there business interactions that we had no part of?
I am, Honeypot.
The meeting room fills with chatter, and doubt. Is this ethically okay?
Law enforcement would run a darknet market.
They would watch as people by guns, stolen credit card data to steal from innocent people,
and tools to hack more people and steal even more.
They wouldn't stop any of it.
They'd just let it happen, and what if anybody caught wind of the operation?
It could...
Well, it's kind of like having a trigger discipline in Valorant.
The guy you let walk by might kill your teammate, but then you'll kill three of theirs.
So what a comparison.
It's kind of like that.
What do you mean?
If they immediately jumped on it, they wouldn't be able to stop as many people as
Comparable if they let it happen for a little bit and then jump on it and shut down
5,000 people instead of 50
There's no correlation there. Yeah, there is
Turn in turn. I'd fuck you. Maybe it was a bad analogy dick to an enormous scandal
Still, it's a unique opportunity. This could fundamentally shake users trust in these markets
Are you really messaging a moderator or are you talking to the police are you dealing with a trusted vendor or are you being tricked by the cops?
In the end the FBI the DEA Europe poll and the Dutch police collectively decide it's worth the risk
time for operation bayonet
Step one arrest alpha 02
on July 5
17 alpha o twos time has come. Authorities have hunted him for years, ultimately identifying
him as Alexander cause. They've tracked him to his villa in Bangkok, where he and his
wife live a life of luxury. And, crucially, the laptop he uses to log into alpha bay is
here. So they come up with a plan. A gray Toyota Camry enters a dead end street and heads
toward cause's house. Behind the wheel is a whale tie police agent and civilian disguise.
He tells the security-
You think his wife knew?
The security guard should take a wrong turn.
Had to have! Had to have! At least some sort of- some sort of fucking knowledge on it.
Doubt it? Bro, yeah, what do you mean?
If they live in a life of luxury in Thailand, bro, he owns a Lamborghini Huracan.
What is he saying? Yeah, I just work in finance.
Yeah, sorry, I gotta do work.
Then she tries to back up, deliberately causing a minor accident.
Wait, what?
Behind the wheel is a royal Thai police agent and civilian disguise.
She tells the security guard she took a wrong turn.
Then she tries to back up, deliberately causing a minor accident.
Cause here's the bang in front of his house.
He grabs his phone and rushes out.
It's a mistake.
He's swarmed by several officers.
He tries to dash back inside but it's too late.
They find his laptop in the bedroom.
It's on and unlocked.
Wow, he runs out of the fucking house with his phone from hearing that small bang. I just think of the five
While you're watching that video real quick is the descriptor fetch getting rate limited by the bandwidth authority
So the HSDR lookup ends up messaging the rend at rendezvous point selection and then into point handshake fails the ED25519
Identity key check against the current micro descriptor consensus before the end tour key
exchange can even finish or is the guard node not rejecting the extended cell
because the consensus wait is to interesting alpha two is still
interesting interesting ah yeah I would say so logged into the server hosting
Alphabet fuck are we talking they dig through the laptop and uncover multiple
passwords for the Alphabet website and its servers then L reader I read word
for word what that motherfucker said they silently shut down the marketplace
No one knows why it suddenly goes offline.
The FBI wants everyone in the community to believe that Alpha O2 ran off with all the
crypto the site keeps an escrow.
That it pulled an exit scam.
Step 2.
Takeover Hansa.
First, the Dutch need to take a-
Why didn't he pull an exit scam?
I feel like that would have been better.
If he'd built Alpha O2 up that much, pull out, get like 30 mil and then just fucking live
on that and then nobody would be able to find you.
Out the real admins without anybody noticing.
The two German Hans-Admins are already under investigation in their home country, along
with operating one of the largest dark-knat markets.
They're suspected of running a site for pirated e-books and audiobooks called lul.to.
The ongoing investigation into lul.to provides the perfect cover.
German authorities carry out the arrests.
Ranswanson and HL are taken into custody.
Hoping for reduced sentences, they hand over their passwords for TOCS, a peer-to-peer chat
system they use to communicate with their four moderators.
While the two admins are taken into custody, Dutch agents arrive at the Hansa servers in
Lithuania. They remove a hard drive from the machine. Now they can access a full backup
of the Hansa database. The agents duplicate everything in their own computers, every digital
component of the market. They then begin to construct an exact clone of the site on a
Dutch server. Wired describes how for the next two days, the investigators code their
Hansa copy barely sleeping. From early morning until well past midnight, they sit at their
keyboards in a conference room in Dreebroken. Pizza boxes stack up.
Fueled by pizza and Red Bull. Up. There are chocolate and chip wrappers everywhere. Energy
cans pile higher and higher. Oh my God, just coding. This seems like some shit
out of like a fucking, like the Facebook fucking documentary. Just sitting here spam coding
for fucking six days straight.
It smells...
Living of Red Bull.
Oh my god, visibly offended by the smell.
Oh my god, stench-maxing.
They even showered.
They're just fucking fingers on the keys.
Fucking Dorito dust in the fucking, in the laptop keys.
They got duplicates just ready to go in case one PC breaks.
Give me another one.
Smoking cigarettes.
So bad that the head of investigation flees from the room after only ten minutes.
Someone brings it an air freshener, but it doesn't help.
The pressure is massive.
At one point, someone knocks over a soda.
It spills across the conference table,
heading straight for the laptop
that holds all of the Hans data.
One of the agents lunges for it and saves it just in time.
Later, a single typo in a command brings the site down.
For a few long, terrifying minutes, panic fills the room.
If they can't bring the site back up,
the whole operation could collapse.
But, they managed to fix it.
Then, finally, the Dutch have a fully operational copy of Hansa.
It runs smoothly.
The market is now live on servers in the Netherlands.
Meanwhile, on Reddit, several users encourage other Redditors to migrate their business
to Hansa.
One-
Oh my god, and you can have bots doing this shit too.
That's what's terrifying about like, dead internet theory.
You can have the cops literally going and Reddit threads.
going, yeah, I would, I'd love Hansa. Hansa is like the best platform ever. I was buying
ecstasy there and it's so safe. You don't even need to deposit Bitcoin to even open
the, open the fucking website.
It's just, it's the most trustworthy out of the dark web.
The forum moderator, I have tested most of the biggest marketplaces and I think Hansa
market is the best option for Alphabet refugees.
Holy, holy fucking Narcobot.
An editor at Reason Magazine later suggests posts like these may have been written by
the Dutch police.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We can't know for sure.
A whole team of Dutch undercover agents takes turns impersonating the Hansa admins.
No one on Hansa appears to have realized what's happened in the background.
Users connected to the same onion address are no longer directed to the original Hansa
servers in Lithuania.
Instead, they're connected to diversion the Dutch have constructed on their own network.
From the user's perspective, nothing appears to have changed.
The site's onion address remains identical.
But behind the scenes, the Dutch police are retrofitting the market.
While it was initially designed to protect users' privacy, the agents now work to make
it through the exact opposite.
They rewrite the site's code.
User names and passwords are now logged in plain text.
They archive every message before it's encrypted with PGP.
Investigators can see real shipping addresses.
They also save uploaded product photos along with their metadata.
Metadata looks like this, and can contain info such as where a picture was taken.
Useful clues to pin down vendors' real-life locations.
The Dutch include boxes for shipping tracking numbers, shipping addresses and other information.
They advise vendors to keep these updated.
But even with these tricks, they only identify some of the vendors.
They want more.
So they hold evil plan meetings, brainstorming sessions to figure out how to unmask even
more vendors.
Yeah, we actually did that
Each idea is ranked by how effective it is and how likely it is to blow their cover at one point evil plan meetings
It is weird that they're like as they're the police
They're actively doing things that are illegal to find people that are doing things that are illegal the Dutch delete every image on Hansa
They claim that a server failed due to a technical glitch vendors need to is using the dark web a crime
Like is being on the dark web a crime? Like say you're not buying anything like if you're on the dark web
No, so it's like what you're interacting with on the dark web. Is there shit on the dark web that isn't illegal?
Or is it all like sex trafficking drugs fucking weird?
weaponry
What's on the dark web that's not drugs are not not illegal. I
I bought my PC there. Why?
Why? You bought your computer on the dark web?
Why don't you go to like Micro Center or like Facebook Marketplace?
It's cheaper? Well, there's no way. There's no way.
Reupload all the images for your listings.
hit, even if the site is taken down. At first, only a few take the bait. To make it more
tempting, the police add features like buyer statistics allowing vendors to track and rank
their best customers. In the top left corner of the Excel spreadsheet, the Dutch agents
integrate an image of the Hansa logo. It loads from Dutch police servers. The moment someone
opens the file, the server logs the requesting computer's IP address. Using this tactic,
they identify another 64 vendors.
Next, the investigators start recruiting.
They look for new moderators.
After reviewing experience and qualifications,
they ask applicants for their home addresses,
supposedly to receive a two-factor authentication token.
And some actually send their home address.
One applicant even jokes.
Please don't send the cops to this address.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Just kidding.
Oh my god.
And they have cameras in the eyeballs.
Some shit out of fucking Fast and Furious film.
They hope the recipients will bring these cute stuff toys home.
A GPS tracker hidden inside will then reveal where they live.
The Dutch team has been running Hansa for 27 days now.
and they still have more ideas, more tricks up their sleeve.
They're hyped, but they've been operating on the dark side long enough
and prosecutors decide it's time to call it quits.
Daniel is annoyed. He's been buying his drugs on Alpha Bay for a long time,
but Alpha O2 apparently pulled an exit scam a few weeks ago.
Luckily, there are alternatives. This time it's Hansa, recommended by people on Reddit.
A vendor messes up Daniel's order, but Hansa customer service is great.
The problem is fixed quickly.
A short time later, Daniel wants to check his order again.
On his screen, the Hansa logo appears.
But it's no longer a ship proudly sailing.
Instead, it's sunk.
The Dutch police made a fucking PNG of the Hansa ship logo sinking.
Like, they spent time on that.
Like, that was like, instead of just shutting down the site,
the site, they're like, yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna make this like a big deal.
Dutch police are shutting Hansa down. For this pivotal moment, they gather in a
conference room in the Dutch police's national headquarters in the Hague. The
head of the agency leans forward and press isn't it true? I don't know if this
is still the case, but isn't it true that a lot of people that get caught doing
like illegal cyber security, uh, fucking coding shit end up getting hired by
governments to find people doing that shit? Or is that like a movie trope? Because I feel
like a lot of this is like the guys that are working for the Dutch police that are coding
and doing this stuff, this stuff could in another lifetime as easily be the dudes that
they're trying to catch. Like, they have the knowledge to be the Hansa Market guys instead
of the guys pretending to be the Hansa Market guys.
This is a big red plastic button, but it's just for show.
The real action is happening here.
This agent takes the dark net market offline.
During their investigation.
Yeah, and I know that they get a lot of people for this,
but it's like, I'm assuming right now, even after this,
this was 2017, there's probably still a million other fucking
dark red marketplaces up now, right?
Dutch police claim they monitored 27,000 transactions.
They collected data on 420,000 Hansa users.
And this was in 2017, people were using fucking crypto.
And obtained more than 10,000 addresses.
They seized 1,200 bitcoins, which were worth around $2.3 million
at the time.
And they arrested several top vendors.
With the seizure notice, Dutch authorities
redirect visitors to a second website.
Here, they've published a list of Hansa vendors
using their pseudonyms and sorted into two categories,
active and arrested, plus identified buyers.
A warning runs across the top.
Active at dark markets, you have our attention.
Touch candy shop is among the vendors identified.
We can only imagine what that must feel like.
This is the largest dark market web place
takedown in world history.
Operation Bayonet landed a serious blow
to trust among dark-diet users.
Just as the authorities had hoped.
When Hansa suddenly went offline,
Panic rippled through the community.
But after a while,
things went back to normal.
New dark dot markets rose.
They still collectively processed billions of dollars per year.
Meanwhile,
encrypted messaging apps became popular
for selling drugs.
Users already have...
...what's app and telegram?
...of those on their phone, so no tour browser required.
How was that? What...
and people are just getting drugs from dealers
on fucking WhatsApp.
Authorities continue to struggle.
Telegram, I'm FG.
Well, that's the thing about like WhatsApp
and Telegram as well is there's actual business
in useful shit that's used on WhatsApp and on Telegram.
And then there's people that do use it for illegal shit.
Telegram's the dark market.
Well, Telegram's used for the dark market.
Telegram's also like,
bro, I remember when I was in college,
I had a, there was a group chat we had to have
for Telegram for some fucking class.
Like there were like people just use telegram books with no insight.
I use it for illegal shit.
Maybe don't say that out loud in the sweatshirt pineapple pancakes.
Yeah, I buy mushrooms on telegram all the time.
That's like a casual place to buy that stuff.
I don't know, wait, hold up, I don't know if we're going to have time for both of these.
I think we're going to wait until we do the drug sewage one, because we did just watch
a video about drugs too.
Yeah, we're going to watch this one next.
Why don't we die more often?
That'll be our video.
I got to go pee real quick though.
Before not master, they give it a three.
They sell dead people's shoes on there with their name.
Taco Man and Jordan with a sub.
Texper, hey, ZX, Wurr, Ogo, Define,
take it with a thousand buddies.
You're my favorite shriveler to watch on edibles,
genuinely so entertaining.
Well, I'm glad I'm able to entertain you, though,
and I hope you're having a good time.
Neef and Venom with a sub, DRX on,
and Ice taking for the three.
Rigby taking for the sub as well.
All right, hold up.
Sorry, responding to my manager.
All right, I'm going to go pee real quick,
and then we're going to hop into this video.
As I said, though, chat, excuse my schedule.
I'm not live tomorrow.
I'm co-streaming Streamer Games, the main broadcast
on Ludwig's channel the first and second.
It's probably gonna be sub only like a slow mode thing
because I'm not gonna be obviously here
just talking to you guys.
So it'll just be kind of like a watch party thing.
My mods might run predictions for each event
that I'm in or just in general if people wanna bet.
That's really up to my mods.
If they run it, they run it.
If they don't, they don't.
I'm not gonna be obviously on my stream, but I will be live.
I'll be on the stream, but not actively on the stream
if that makes sense.
I'm vlogging while I'm gone.
Third through the sixth, I'm doing a collab.
I'm not live though.
posting every day that I'm gone. So I'll basically, I won't be live one day. I'll be
co-streaming two days. Then I won't be live for four vlogging, filming a bunch
of content. We're back the 7th to the 14th non-stop. Then I'm gone for three
days, back for three days, gone for four, and then we're back for the rest of the
summer slash into the school slash work year. Switching our schedule back to
3.30 EST weekdays, probably like late August. FNAF 2, till we beat it in the
funny suit 18th next charity stream the 19th
gonna do it for cancer, cancer based charity
I don't know which yet.
And then we have suicide prevention charity stream
in September.
King Wolf's collab coming up,
JXC tournament coming up when we're back from LA.
Tommy NFG collab coming up, scratch the ticket drops
on candy tail skin stapler drops.
We're gonna do the Long John Silver's full fast food review
soon. And then obviously I'll react to the streamer games events and post the blog as
well. Why are people saying rigged? I love thinking of the three. We're going to guy
who did five years for running illegal sites. He always says his talent should be wasted.
So it does happen, but it's super common. Most people don't want to work with the people
who made they've got a jail for years. Callahy and CR seven for the sub rigby for the sub.
That's crazy though that he ended up getting a job doing cybersecurity after going to jail
for five years for being the guy that cyber security was going against.
I mean, it's good that he turned it around though.
All right.
Yo, count me down.
I'm going to go P and then we're going to hop into the next video or the last video.
you
you
Okay.
Okay, that took me a while my dad he barmed fart tanky and CR 7 thank you for the sub chat last video for the day
Little philosophical
Little not same a little a little bit at the same time you let's fucking ban this kid's spamming Jesus. Alright
Chat last video for the stream and then as I said, I am not street
I'll be live the first and second coast streaming, but I won't be live at this desk for another week
Hi, thank you for the five gifts until next Thursday. No next Friday
Yeah, next Friday
The seventh will be the next time I'm live here, but I will be live the first and second coast streaming first-year games
And I am filming content, but I'll be posting every day that I'm gone. All right. Why don't we die more often?
lock in
84. That's how many people have died climbing this mountain, Mount Rainier. Every year we
hear these unf... I don't even know if I've heard of Mount Rainier.
Fortunate tales, people pushing their limits, succumbing to exhaustion. While these stories
are tragic, it isn't interesting that a few people die.
What?
Is that the basketball?
Oh, that's fucking CGI.
Okay.
Majority of people don't.
The vast majority of people that climb Mount Rainier don't die.
I always think it's crazy the fact that if you climb Mount Everest, you pass bodies that
have been dead and look exactly the same for 15 years.
Like, what is it?
Green boots?
Am I allowed to show that?
I think I've showed that on stream before.
just his boots. Green boots is a guy you pass hiking up Everest and for 20 years
it's just it's just him and his in his outfit
because it's just so fucking cold up there nothing really decomposes or
changes such as looks the fucking same
there are many different ways to die in a mountain including the following
dehydration suffocation avalanche drowning falling mountain line out there
plane crash and yet over 200,000 people have submitted that amount without dying including
my dad this raises an important question what are the limits of human endurance what are
the limits of human endurance in what sense? Physicality or like just humanity in general
being able to accomplish something?
Ah, here's the answer. Right in these...
These just are better, faster, better.
I mean, how about influence on the rabbits? Snappy.
videos from like fucking athletes like David Goggins telling you you need to push your body to its
absolute limit every single day otherwise you're not doing what you need to be doing. I just think
there's like a level of not even in if I don't even know if this is like a philosophical video but I
mean I think it's weird not weird you know do what you want to do with your life. I think
summoning Mount Everest yeah it's a feat it's a thing on a bucket list I get it but there's like
people that are like almost masochists in the sense of how much they want to deal with pain
just off sheer enjoyment. Like I've talked about the bad water 100 a few times. We talked about
it during the marathon video we watched and I just think there's like a level of like
feats that don't make sense to do. There's no reward. Like climbing Mount Everest you could go,
I climbed one of the tallest mountains, the tallest mountain in the world. It's fucking
Awesome, right? It took me two months to train for it six months to train for it
And it was a fucking two-week trip to get up there, but you being like, yeah, I ran the entire state of Arizona
What the fuck like I why are you doing that? You know, why are we what why you're running in the desert for 120 miles over fucking two days?
So when you're done, you fucking shit your pants. You can't walk for fucking three weeks. It's like, what's the fun?
not even fun like I'm not sitting here saying ever since fun but it's just like
what what drives a person to do that I think it's just like the the need to
accomplish the unaccomplishable it's like it achieving the unachievable doing
something that seems so impossible that I need to do it to prove that I can
polished. These books he endure as a solo sufferer. If we look to our science section
now, are you saying it's bad to push your body? No, but I'm saying like, there's a level
where I'm I use David Goggins as an example where he's pushing his body to a limit that's
actually not good for his health. Like, I don't think humans are meant to run 130 miles
in one sitting. I think doing that is something that will make you die younger. Like why are
you doing that? It's not like I'm bettering myself. It's like it's cool. Okay.
This book defines it as a struggle to continue against a mountain desire to stop. But differently,
how long can you hold your hand to the flame? As a species, we don't have a lot of-
I love the way this video's filmed, by the way.
This is like fucking cinema.
Michael Mackelv- Michael Mackelv- Michael Mackelv-ly.
Weapons, least.
I got to be lying.
As a species, we don't have a lot of weapons, least.
Natural ones.
We also aren't that fast.
That racehorse, or the hell it is, clocked about 35 miles an hour, wasn't even trying.
This brings up a logical thought.
Four legs must be much better than two.
Looking at the fastest animals, we see a lot of legs.
Yeah, but Cheetahs, it's like,
I always think it's more impressive
that a Greyhound can hold a speed of like 35 to 40 miles
an hour for an extended period of time,
like same with antelopes.
I think it's way cooler, the animals that can run
like 40 to 60 miles an hour for an extended period of time,
whereas Cheetahs, it's literally like 70 miles an hour
for five seconds and then it's done.
This is less of an issue now, but, boy,
a few million years ago, it was problematic.
Whoa!
Fortunately, we are the fastest slow runners of all time.
Aren't we, that's why we did so well
is because we just tired things out.
Like an antelope would always be able to outrun a human,
but a human would just follow it until it got tired
and then beat it to death.
Our running endurance didn't evolve by accident.
We earned it by chasing dinner.
And that's crazy though, because like,
I'm not endurance at all.
Like we as a species are endurance runners,
but the majority of people are incapable
of running long distances, including myself.
Like I don't think I could run a marathon.
I don't think I could run a half marathon.
I think I could run a 5K,
but I think if you were like run a marathon right now,
I don't think I would finish.
Like not that I couldn't do it.
I think I could get done 26.2 miles.
But I think they would close the gates before I was done.
Slowly.
Humans could jog at speeds that other mammals have to gallop,
forcing other mammals to heat up more over long distances.
At least that was the theory.
Recently, some researchers have contested
that we lack objective data to support this,
arguing that humans may be giving themselves
too much endurance credit.
However, this doesn't really explain everything.
I believe in told me he raised 53 horses, he'd be four of them.
That guy's not exactly young.
When the fuck did he, what distance did he race them in?
A Devon taking for the 25 gifted subs.
Thank you for the 25 gifted, a Devon 86.
Appreciate the subs.
King Day can take it with a 3K,
take it with a two subs.
Compliment Matt, take the, our master for the sub.
King for the sub.
Peter, take it with a three.
Nicole, take it with a sub.
Owen, high energy, take it with a five.
Gifted T and hey, take it with a sub.
Park Vaarn, he not McChunky, thank you for the tier three, brother.
You do not need to do that.
Thank you, McChunky, for the tier three,
and Ed Devon, thank you for the 25 gifts.
It's again, you fucking beast.
Let's look at the purest endurance test we have.
Marathon.
Great example we have of endurance is running.
There is no action more straightforward than muddling away
on one of these machines until you're tired.
I'm like the most inefficient runner out of gym, though, bro.
I feel I can't run into gym
because I feel, okay, I don't run a gym because I don't want to,
but when I do run at a gym, I feel bad about it
because I'm clunky as fuck.
I see people running at the gym, like jogging,
and they're like light on their feet.
You just hear the treadmill tracks, bro.
I'm do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
Heavy runner, not light on my toes, at all.
Could not tiptoe.
That's more my taste.
Like this treadmill, the origins of endurance were mechanistic, and the allure list is understandable.
You know how a machine works? You can calculate its limits.
What powers this machine? This is where a series of 19th century experiments offered hints.
In 1865, two German scientists took a hike and collected their own urine, measuring its
nitrogen content to establish that protein could not supply all the energy needed for
prolonged exertion.
As such findings accumulated, it bolstered the once heretical view that human limits
are a simple matter of chemistry and math.
But as time went on, endurance proved to be far more
fickle.
That is perhaps best summed up by one experiment.
Say I wanted to walk or run on this treadmill
until I was fully exhausted.
There is no science today that can accurately predict
when that will happen.
Even if they tried your VO2 max,
I feel like if they were testing how efficiently
you were to use oxygen and pump oxygen into your blood,
You would then be able to understand how far you could run if they were able to know that prior
You're ready. Thank you for the raid, bro. Happy for the sub salty. Thank you for the three goob for the sub
Salty for the sub funny for the sub Frank for the sub
It's right now
What caused me to stop when I did
If you wanted to the mental limit, oh my god
Yeah, like physically there's a limit where it's like if you kept running you would have a heart attack at some point
But when you are running you could be as exhausted as as you could get to
Maximum-wise and you could just keep staying at that level
Like if you run a mile the way that you extend your endurance is by keep pushing when your mind is going this sucks
This sucks this sucks this sucks stop stop stop not doing push-ups right now refund that let's lock into the video to max readings were
Okay, nothing like an ultra endurance the long walk. Well the movie the long walks entirely different
I mean they're walking three hundred and ten miles to the point where their feet are fucking bleeding and they're sleeping while they're moving like
That's I don't I don't even know if you were to do the experiment of the long walk today
How far somebody would actually be able to physically go?
but
Yeah, I mean like there is there's a mental to it athlete
but there I mean that is just mainly mental largely speaking we still share a common thread
neither of us can push ourselves to pure exhaustion brain's role in all of this is yeah your brain's
always gonna tell you to stop before you actually do you actually like physically are gonna die
highly controversial
Oh, it's horrible. Oh my god, the mile. I think in 800s worse. I think in 800s where
I would rather run a mile than sprint an 800. Because I could jog the mile. Whereas in 800s,
just like, hey, fucking full run two laps.
I recently did a 100 day challenge.
The fastest lap was always the last lap.
And this is well-established, well-documented,
with inexperienced riders like myself.
But it's also well-established with experienced riders.
Well, records in long distance.
Because you know you're near the end,
so your brain kicks up because you're like,
I'm almost going to be done.
It's a run with a strikingly consistent pattern
that includes an acceleration into the final stages.
This makes no sense if endurance was mechanistic
We should be far more tired in the final stages in the race. There should be a drop-off not this late push
Well, yeah, but I I think that's also because your brain's trying to count
like your brain's trying to measure how tired you are and
How much you're able to push yourself pacing wise so then near the end it you're going it doesn't matter if I fully exhaust myself
because there's not another lap after this.
So your second and third lap are gonna be slower
because you're going, I need to not be exhausted
because I still have another lap to go.
I still have another two laps.
Whereas when it's the final one,
you just fucking haul ass.
This may be be a linear decline,
like you're running out of gas.
There must be something else.
I'm going to go get a gun.
Use your brain, the governor, in this example.
A governor.
Similarly, Dr. Tim Noakes argued that we have a governor switch built into all of us, suggesting
that it wasn't my muscles that failed me, it was my brain sending distress signals well
before total exhaustion.
Which means I'm probably a bitch.
I mean that's literally what David Goggins says.
That's like the entire point he's like, you got who's gonna carry the boats?
Your mind's gonna carry you.
Another study who looked at 16 individuals who participated in a stationary bike time-to-exhaustion
test.
Eight participants were tasked with a mentally draining computer game beforehand.
The other eight watched a few bland documentaries.
Both groups were offered the same motivation.
A 50-year-old prize.
So what happened?
All the subjects who played the draining computer game, they gave up earlier.
15.1% sooner in the cycling test and reported.
Really?
Really?
So do you think if you're, let me actually ask this,
if you're a high school or college athlete
that has a competitive distance race,
I'm not talking sprints, a competitive distance race,
but that same day before you have to go to the meet,
you have a bunch of classes and exams
that you're more likely to go exhaust sooner
than you would if you had just done nothing that day.
Higher levels of perceived exertion
from the beginning of the cycle.
Samuel Mark Horne.
Because your brain's more tired off, Rhett.
Rhett, who helped administer the study,
recruited 13 volunteers to do another exhaustion test.
Before them flashed happy or sad faces,
flashing so quickly they could not register.
Those shone sad faces quit around 22 minutes, those shone happy faces lasted about 3 minutes longer and felt significant.
Yeah, this is where my ego tells me that shit ain't playing a part in my brain, bro.
I feel like I'm running my race, I'm running my race.
And I know that's wrong, but I'm like, in my head I'm going, okay, you show me fucking smiling faces that's making me ride my bike 3 minutes longer and get the fuck out of here.
with a bigger and less exertion.
The belief is anything that news the so-called
effort dial up or down affects how far or fast you can run.
When I say anything, I mean anything.
Even self-talk, which Marcora tested
with another 24 volunteers.
Half of which were given instructions
to mutter basic phrases like feeling good,
push through this. The self-taught group lasted 18% longer.
The sense of effort.
I think the biggest thing when I, if I ever, like when I used to, I don't run distance anymore.
I was going to say when I run distance, I don't run distance.
When I used to do track was, if you think about how exhausted you are,
You give up so much faster.
So when we would go on these distance runs,
I would try in every single aspect of my body
to distract myself.
I would start trying to think about other shit
in the next day, or even like if I do cardio at the gym
and I'm on like the ERG rowing,
I'm just thinking about,
I'm trying to get my mind on some other shit.
Cause the second you're going, I feel tired
and all you're thinking about is I feel tired,
you're giving up instantly.
You're giving up so fast.
Being a non-physical component added.
You gotta tell yourself this shit's easy.
I used, what I used to do too was when we would run,
I would give myself a thing to run to.
Like a stop sign, or like a lighting pole.
And then I would go, I could stop there.
But as I got closer, I'd go, fuck that,
I'm not stopping there.
And I'd put another marker, like 300 meters down the line.
To our equation, most of us experienced this
for the first time by studying.
The 201 version of that is...
I think it stops on...
Will you just like anything on the road, like a mailbox?
I don't know, whatever I'm fucking looking at.
Working.
I probably used to ask my mother,
How are you so tired?
You just sit at your desk all day.
While the question was unintentionally cruel
and probably made my mom question sacrificing 25 years of her life
to raise two dipshit sons,
it was an honest one.
Sitting in a cubicle all day in a newspaper downtown,
that's not a lot of physical activity.
Certainly less than my brother and I
football practice in school. But once you get to an honest day's work, you are made painfully
aware of the mental energy required. I think you feel more tired. I think when you have a day,
have you ever done like some shit before finals where you're studying for like hours on end?
You get out of that and it's like a weird brain fog. Like not even brain fog, just like mental
exhaustion where you're like I can fall asleep right now.
So what elements play a role?
We heat up in two ways, outside and inside. While this sauna is fairly warm
our bodies are kind of like a furnace. Both of these methods affect athletic
performance. Fortunately, sweating is a superpower. We humans dissipate heat more quickly than most
of their species because we sweat copiously. However, heat still has a significant impact.
The number of endurance studies on cyclists and runners have found the performance suffers during
a hot day. 2000 studies found a decrease in power out. Well, yeah. I'd rather run a marathon when
when it's fucking 50 degrees outside than when it's 95.
Put for cyclists and something else, a higher heart rate.
Ron's running a mile right now.
Oh my God, we'll get it, chat.
In real time, we're gonna be able to see this.
In real time, this is relevant to the video.
We're going to be watching a guy push himself
to mental it, no he's not.
He's sitting on the back of the car.
Just rolling, too.
Hey, what the fuck, no one showed up.
I invited Ludwig, platform apps,
Maybe V, QDC in a row, I invited everyone.
Where the fuck is everyone?
I think they'll be here in a sec.
Is he running it right now?
No, but it's very late.
We'll catch back up on him.
When the World Athletic Championships
experienced hot conditions, conditions over 25 degrees
Celsius, there was an average decrease of around 2%
in performance.
But heat isn't always a detriment.
For example, that same study found that the 2% difference was for races over 5,000 meters.
Other studies, to an extent, have found that a little heat benefits sprinting performance.
The absolute sprinting performance, really. Maybe that's good for me at streamer names.
Sense of heat is also problematic. There appears to be some medium. But that medium is malleable.
The bigger puzzle seems to be the relationship between our brains and heat.
Students' test scores struggle on hot days and for decades researchers have linked heat in aggression.
There are more murders, more assault cases. It isn't just your mother-in-law being a pain.
This aggression from heat extends to outdoor sports too. The Duke professor found that pictures
were significantly more likely to retaliate and being a batter in the heat. Comet analysis in
2016 found that heat abtation takes about seven to fourteen days and had a moderate to large effect
in lowering core body temperature as for improving overall athleticism.
Well, isn't that the same thing with like, I don't know how true this is, but they always
say like your blood thins and thickens depending on like where you are heat-wise.
Like if you're in a colder climate, your colder or higher elevation, your blood is legitimately
thicker.
Foreman's, many call exercise.
And so if you're transitioning, it's the same thing with that climate when athletes
go from like cold to warmer places or low to high places elevation wise they have to
go like a week or more prior because their body won't be used to it otherwise.
As in the heat, a poor man's elevation training.
But the challenge with this, Steve Maynus pointed out to me, you might not be able to
work out as long in the heat.
When thoughts about the heat creep in like it's hot as hell in here, instead mutter
Other phrases like, you're doing fine.
Keep pushing it.
The self-talk group improved their performance from 8 to 11 minutes and importantly, reached
a higher core temperature before quitting.
Wow, some self-motivation bullshit.
I'm running the mile.
I feel like I'm going to pass out.
I just got to go.
Keep going, Joe.
You're doing awesome.
I feel like I am so much more negative to myself.
I know they always say the worst critic for you is yourself, but holy is that fucking true
in an athletic sense.
If I'm running, if I'm running a mile, I think first half of a lap in 200 meters in, I'm going, I'm already tired.
Pull out there. That's the, I'm already tired. Shattered mental.
Stephen Chong mentioned pretty sure it's not just a physical thing.
Furthering this brain and heat relationship, a 2012 study found that cyclists in a heat chamber went 4% faster when the thermometer was rigged to show 79 instead of 89.
Oh, words.
It's all in your head.
Mindset matters.
That is very motivating.
That science legitimately backs up the fact
that if you convince yourself, like, placebo is everything.
If you convince yourself you're going to do fine,
you're going to do fine.
If you convince yourself you're not, you're not.
You're going to give up.
And that's what's weird about humans
is because the placebo effect doesn't exist with other.
People always say, if your dog's unhealthy,
one of the good things about seeing your dog get better
is that they're legitimately getting better
if they seem like they're getting better.
Because with humans, you could just convince yourself
you're doing better and your condition's actually
still the same if not getting worse.
If there's one thing we need, it's water.
Does that mean you're gonna quit your weed addiction?
No, that has no relevance.
Absolutely not.
And I was thinking about this, tomorrow,
tomorrow, I don't know if I should get high or not
before the streamer games, because I get high every day.
And so it's like, if I change that,
is that gonna make me better off or worse off
for athletic performance?
Like, if I'm not eating an edible right now,
you could refund the fuck out of that.
I think that was just McChonkey.
I don't know.
Same thing with, like, I was talking to JXC,
I'm like, oh, maybe we could get food together
tomorrow night or some shit.
Now, I was thinking about it.
Am I going to get a beer at a restaurant?
Probably.
Probably.
Is that bad if I drink the day before I'm
supposed to compete athletically?
I don't know.
I would normally do that anyway, so I
feel like I might as well not change the groove.
And yet the most controversial sports science
topic is hydration.
In the 1904 Olympic.
Isn't that why soccer players swish water in their mouth and spit it out to convince themselves that they're more hydrated than they actually are?
Like it reduces fatigue.
Games. Marathoner Thomas Hicks hydrated this some fun.
Wait, he drank brandy?
Brandy and Strickney. A substance known for its use as rat poison.
Did he die?
Hicks would win gold, but he was...
too sick to collect his metal.
A few years later, James Sullivan, the head of the amateur athletic union told runners,
don't give into the advice of drinking or eating while running a marathon.
Who the fuck's eating while running a marathon?
Is Ron's running? Who the fuck's eating while running a marathon? That's actively to...
I
Bro
Is it fucking lagging it's completely effed
Wait, oh we're back. We're back. We're back
Where is he gone
Hey, listen one
Just think about every time someone called you a fat piece of fucking bacon a fat sly
Wow, 30% body fat, worst person to run track.
Why is he running track over KDV?
Just remember, I'm gonna beat Joe, I'm gonna beat you.
I'm gonna beat everybody in this.
I don't know if they're beat or not.
All right, man.
I hope all my teammates are watching this.
I can prove to them, Joe, Jinxie,
whoever's taking this, bro.
Hey, listen, YBG, try to stay on the right.
You're going right here.
Are we having a pace car for run right now? We're gonna have a pace car. What are you fucking kip Cho gay?
What are we fucking running a marathon dude? We're gonna have a pace car for the mile
Your goal is to be faster than this run
you
you
you
you
you
Water sucks. It really, really sucks.
We watch Water Boys.
We watch Water Boys.
We watch Water Boys.
We need to replace Water Boys' Adam Sandler's best movie.
You're actually on crack.
He has, there's so many better movies
that Adam Sandler's made.
If you think Water Boys' Adam Sandler's best movie,
you just don't understand.
People could say, Al, to disagreeing with me
and thinking Water Boys' a good movie.
No one thinks Water Boys' Adam Sandler's best movie.
All water lost during sweating.
Should your urine turn to the color of Gatorade, you need to drink more water, Gatorade, or
at least more fluids.
But yet, if you lose any weight while exercising, you are not consuming enough fluids.
Advice would soon also disappear when Cynthia Lucero collapsed in the Boston Marathon.
She had drank as much as she could, and her lungs were filled with fluid.
USA Track and Field would rewrite their guidelines suggesting that athletes should now drink when
they're thirsty.
Belief in hydration would further fragment.
Note, how much water did she drink?
In classic contrarian fashion, wrote a book, Waterlocked, outlining the serious problems
of over-hydration.
His research team looked at 643 finishers of the 2009 marathon, weighing athletes before
and after the race, the results were shocking. The best runners were the most dehydrated.
Furthermore, there's evidence to suggest a fair amount of hydrating may be psychological.
Jacob Engelbertson, a world champion and gold medalist, took a water break
named Fairly Short Race, the 5K. Multiple studies have found that carb rinsing,
using a sugary- That's what I was talking about, where they're just only putting it in their mouth
and spitting it out because it's all just mental.
Carb filled drink, like Gatorade, can help increase performance, even if you don't swallow.
However, there needs to be carbs in the drink.
Why, though?
Like, are you actually absorbing the calories?
Double check wrong in a minute, bro. He's not finishing. You know, he just started chat.
Let's, let's, let's tap out of that. You're acting like he gonna be done the mile in two minutes.
Ron died. Stop.
What's the time at?
Four minutes.
Four minutes!
That means you're on a nine minute pace. Honestly, that's not bad at all, Ron.
You better keep running, dog!
There's no way he's playing poor, bro. Is he fucking cheating?
He might be playing poor, really.
He's already been a- oh, half a mom?
And he has his tactical style, like that's what I'm not even gonna go out, he's gonna go out.
No, no, what?
He is not running a 0.4 mile pace, neither of his feet are leaving the fucking ground, he's walking.
What the hell are we talking about?
So, is this all just one big conspiracy?
Is dehydration a risk, but an overstated one?
Probably not.
Now, ahead of significant endurance activities, you probably want to get ahead of your thirst.
In general, your body's pretty good at telling you when you're thirsty.
As much as I'd like to throw 300 on that bar back there, that's probably not going to happen.
With muscle, it's not a matter of just being fully charged or arrested, but as Hutchinson
rights in his book, there may be hints of muscular reserve held in capacity.
The 1929 German researchers published results of their experiments with a newly developed
drug called pervatine, showing that endurance in a cycling test could be tripled with no
apparent changes in metabolism or circulation.
This drug was kind of crystal meth, which was kind of...
I love how every time there's like some sort of like athletic or like war-based thing in the 1920s 30s and 40s
Where they're like yeah proof performance and kept people awake. It was awesome. Any time they talk about the drug
Whatever name it is. Yeah, I was math. Yeah, I was there was a little bit of crystal math in there
There's a little bit of cocaine
But that in stop our Germans from piloting
35 million tablets of Pazzer's Chocolata.
Chocolata.
Uh, Tank Chocolate.
The word minister.
While historians debate to what extent soldiers
use Tank Chocolate, it is well documented
that amphetamines were used.
In the early effects spurred lasting rumors of superpowers.
Heightened alertness, energy, increased risk taking.
Of course, the following crash wasn't great.
Soldiers became confused, irritable, experienced hallucinations, and went AWOL.
Bro, doing math and not knowing that you're on math.
10 was cut back in 1940.
Oh, it's just a word wrong.
It's stories like this that give rise to this hidden superhuman strength we might all possess.
The most vibrant memories I have is being on the Markham Bridge a few years back.
There was a flipped car, and I saw this old lady, somewhat old, pull this...
you
you
you
you
you
That means start jogging buddy.
Hey, that's fine. We got James over here.
That's point ten, okay? The main road now.
Yeah, pass us up, bro. Pass us up.
Keep up the pace. Keep the pace up, Ron.
Think about Berger. Think about Ryan Garcia chasing you.
You versus him, who's gonna win? Who's gonna carry the boats? You have to save your family
during a burning hot building right now.
Did the military recruits and found a strong correlation as have many other studies?
But if we restrict the study to look at say just people who run a lot, it doesn't really tell you much.
This is where samples can be so devilishly misleading as soon as we look at people who
are runners.
VO2max isn't nearly as important.
Many other studies mention VO2max as well, but as Steve Magnus pointed out to me, there
are issues in the way they measure it.
VO2max is essentially one variable.
It just doesn't give you the holistic picture.
So, when oxygen levels in the brain drop, are we compelled by failing neurons, or are
we consciously deciding to decelerate?
Both.
Dude, how is he filming these videos?
He's like in every landscape ever.
Pain.
Maybe you're of the mind that pain is the reason we slowed down.
Each of us has a different pain tolerance and studies have shown that those who have
good endurance have higher pain tolerance.
Yeah, dude, I think you could probably shoot David Goggins in the chest and you would just
be like, that was a bee sting.
That didn't hurt.
I quit my job on finish 11 minutes and finance when I was 29, seven years of late call nights,
countless meetings, and anybody who had a pulse. I quit my job because I could not handle the pain.
I could not endure. Neuroscientists would tell you everything is physical. Building endurance
is linked to building pain tolerance. Without higher pain tolerance, maybe I would have stayed.
I could have warded off those evil forces
and ran to a higher sense of purpose, efficiency,
but success if only I had more endurance and more willpower.
Yep, there it is.
How do we garner more willpower and fight procrastination
and stop our minds from doing the wrong thing at the wrong time?
Hey, nice.
Efficiency loop, rest into self-care, hobbies into side hustle.
But something happens to us when we don't listen at 2X speed.
We think.
I went somewhere else.
Somewhere I didn't have to sell the company products.
Somewhere I could start making videos and replace those call nights to boomers who had no interest in talking to me.
Although I worked slightly more hours, my effort dial was one-tenth what it was.
I got off the wheel, and yet I was more productive.
This is the paradox of endure.
Grit is wonderful, but what about when
you stay too long at a company, when
you stay too long in a relationship?
If you're not enduring, then you're not improving.
And yet, plyometrics teaches us that it's not about jumping
as much as possible.
It's about jumping as high as possible.
Distance training teaches us that running slow
is the key to running fast.
Endurance paved the way for us to build civilizations and thankfully we don't die most of the time we do hard things, but
the opposite of a great virtue
that can still
be a great virtue
Oh, that was a fucking good ending
This was actually probably one of the most well shot
Like videos I've seen on YouTube.
Supposed to five months ago, Michael McKelvie.
Dude, cinema videos, bro.
I think I've, you know what I think I already stopped doing?
I think he made a video about sports gambling.
No, he made one about human limit.
Pods of Going Pro, we watched that one.
It's a lot about sports.
I feel like he made one about sports gambling.
Maybe I'm crazy.
Like those offshore gambling sites.
That might have been a different YouTuber.
fucking subbed to him holy all right Ron finished
whatever you could say start it's gonna count down from 30
oh Jason's doing it now
you ready?
you gotta be ten minutes
worst fit possible to be running right now I mean Jason wear like shorter
shorts and a fucking different t-shirt brother
what the fuck is this?
Yeah, let's go you fat bitch all that jargon's not gonna get you anywhere
I actually think he's wearing the worst outfit to be running right now like outside of like fucking blue jeans
All right chat we're calling that there that was a W stream I
Will see you guys here next Friday
I will be live Saturday Sunday co-streaming streamer games. You'll see me on that
But outside of that chat. I'll be gone. I'm gone tomorrow. I'm back Saturday Sunday
and then gone Monday through Thursday.
I'll be back next Friday chat.
We're going to be doing reacts, random games, maybe,
or actually reacts.
We're going to watch our streamer games as well.
I'll probably have a story time, regular reacts and shit.
That next Saturday on Candy Tail, Skin Stapler.
The next Sunday reacts, and we're
doing the serial review with Small Thries UK versus US
Serials.
Random game day the next day.
That Tuesday, the 11th, Tommy NFG collab.
Jinksee 2v2 rainbow tournament, um, and then we'll go from there. Uh, then I'm basically streaming like a week straight off three on three off four. Uh, and then we're back. But yeah, I appreciate y'all next show to stream, uh, August 19th. Uh, don't know which charity we're doing yet, but I'll probably announce that next Friday. Uh, but yeah, definitively August 19th. Uh, finnaf to bunny costume video 18th. But yeah, while we'll take it with us up, let's up, bro. We'll take it with a five gift this Bm.
Think of the three. Yeah, Kofu F key spy young i-boy and game thinking of the stuff
I haven't been um, I did post on YouTube yesterday, and I'm not posting today
But I will be posting basically like the next week straight
That's why I'm not just posting these two days because I'll be posting tomorrow through
The fucking like 11th basically I'll be posting for the next like 15 days straight
But yeah, appreciate y'all go watch the old YouTube videos and I will catch all later
Who do we want to raid? Camden, thank you for the fucking 10 gifted subs at the end of stream bro. I appreciate that shit
Think that we got something about the 10 gifted
Chris is about to get covered in peanut butter. Should we raid?
Squad for the sub Camden, thank you for the 10 gifted. I will see you guys next Friday
Outside of that will be coast streaming Saturday Sunday, so you'll see me there
But I just won't be talking directly to you guys
But yeah, appreciate y'all. Hope you had fun go ask you to videos while I'm gone and I'll be vlogging and doing a bunch of other
Concept though. I'm not just taking a break, but yeah, appreciate y'all wish me luck on 100 meters. Peace