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setting on my watch, bro. I'm a watch size tweener right now. I put it on one
size and I'm like, that's way too tight, bro. Then I put it, I loosen it by one
notch and it's rattling around. It's rattling around like a Maraca. So then I
go, okay, let's go one notch tighter and then it's like, you know, it's like a
torture device. Goldilocks asked.
Push it up on your arm. No, bro. That's... listen, I'm very much not... I don't want
to become like a hypocrite and become like to watch as what r slash espresso is
to coffee, but there's one place to wear your watch. It's just slightly past the ball on
the end of your wrist, closer to the elbow side. Not closer to the hand size, or side,
I should say. It's just, if you're wearing it on your left wrist, it's just to the left
of the ball on your wrist, bro. Where else would it go? You'd be surprised how many people
you see take a watch photo and it's like closer to the hand side and pass the
ball on the wrist.
How's that even possible? I think if you get like the wrong size or whatever.
Two fingers back of the ball is what the user manual tells you you you read the user manual for your watch
No, man, we might not make it. We as a society. We might not make it
Remember putting the face on the underside when I was in high school. It's kind of swag
Actually, I listen I wouldn't do it myself, but I kind of like that look
It's very eblon. No, it's isn't that like a traditional it's the way that like women
in the office where their watches like pilots and then women in the in the office they wear
the watch like kind of upside down. I think it's cool man.
How about your Canucks?
Bro, it's so nice to watch these games.
I got scared when it was 1-1.
I was like, oh fuck, we might actually win tonight.
Low and behold, 45 minutes later, check the score, 5-2 Mammoth over the Canucks.
Fantastic.
Did you enjoy The Ugly Steps Sister?
I enjoyed it all right, but if my pithy review that I didn't leave, because it's not elaborated
enough, is style over substance, but substance has a capital S indicating the proper noun,
which identifies the movie, because it's very, it has a similar sort of themes as the substance,
but I think that largely the main reason you would watch The Ugly Steps Sister is because
of the fact that it's like an inversion of the Cinderella story. It's not bad, necessarily.
Let nobody tell you I'm not a feminist, because after watching The Ugly Steps Sister, I'm
91 minutes into Night Bitch. And I also think Night Bitch is a very interesting movie in
in a sense that it's not very good,
but somewhere in there there is a very good movie,
but they just can't seem to get out of their own way
and let that movie exist.
Instead, you have, like, they get,
the themes are on the screen so plainly,
and yet they still feel the need to be like,
here's seven minutes of Amy Adams narrating
why she feels this way.
and you're like, I know, I was watching the movie.
It also, the music pissed me off,
because it's so, I'm sorry,
because I don't even know if like,
10 of you have seen this movie,
but it's so millennial coded in the worst way possible.
They do a 13 second cocktail twins needle drop.
And the only reason they do it
is because it emphasizes the fact
that she's having like a dream-like moment
where she's sort of like daydreaming
about her mother's life.
And then they play an entire Joanna Newsom song
about motherhood to like, you did the work already.
You don't need to piggyback on other media to drive it home.
They play the whole Joanna Newsom song.
It's so crazy.
But I do think that, I do think it was better than I thought it would be.
But all the dog stuff is like, it doesn't even have to be in the movie, man.
The dog stuff doesn't even have to be in the movie.
Also, Scoot & McNary is playing like an all-time worst husband in history.
Which pisses me off, this is my own axe to grind, but it pisses me off because I think people will watch the movie and be like,
ask what dads are like. No they're not bro. This guy is like, he is to realistic fathers
what like Joker in Joker is to people with depression. Like this shit did not happen
bro. Librarian by the way, Ricky I'm circling back to you, I put it in the queue here because
we're going back to No Other Choice. Librarian, your review was actually fucking on point.
One of the things that not enough people have talked about in the movie, No Other Choice
is that those guys are doing anything to not give their wife the ick.
Now to put it in like a more critical light, it's about, you know, a man's loss of self-worth
when he loses his job, because that's, you do so much of your self-esteem is wrapped up in your
ability as a provider, but legit, you, you, you were hitting that something fucking real in that
review, and Ricky, I did not watch it back to back twice. I just, I, I logged it once and then I
didn't see it in my log, so I made sure to log it again. Then when I woke up in the morning,
it looked like I watched it back to back. Also, like, what was that guy's name, Gummo?
Bro, she's reminiscing about the fact that you met. She's reminiscing about her first
kiss with you. You're scrolling Gmail on your phone? Come on, bro.
Gummo got the damn spaghetti in the tub. Bro was on Gmail, man. I think about every
day when you said you risk giving Kate the egg because you run up the stairs at full
speed as a 35-year-old man. That's damn true, but can I say something? I think that if you're
a content and married man, this is kind of like you're screaming at the screen moment
saying it's not true, it can't be, but I think what could be more romantic than still actively
working to not give your wife of 12 years the ick?
I think that's romantic, man, to fight the pressure to backslide into, you know, if you
If you want to put it in a positive way, you could say comforts, or if you want to put
it in a negative way, complacency.
I've tempered my stair running speed for that very reason.
I still run up the stairs at full speed and I still believe that it is actually like metabolically
more efficient to run up the stairs, but I do, I'll get her a nice, if I'm out shopping
and I'll get her a nice little treat or something like that.
And not just get the treat,
but then try to present the treat in a nice way.
Not go like, hey, look on the island,
I got you a treat, but like, you know,
pull it out of my pocket and be like,
I got you something today.
The islands?
You know what I mean.
A peninsula maybe. Makes no sense. I know crazy.
Not, I thought you were talking about Jamaica. You're talking about the other, the other island.
When, at what point did the island stop being Jamaica and start being Little St. James?
I think that we might have just witnessed the moment.
You might, yeah, you're right about it yesterday.
When was it ever the island?
Excuse me.
Whenever you did this, the island.
Jamaica had been the island for a long fucking time.
It had been the island for like maybe 20 years.
I thought it was Hawaii?
That shit's like Seven Islands or something, man.
Chante Elon really write Girls FTW in an email to Jeffrey Epstein.
Yes, yes.
They got him in 4K.
girl's FTW? Oh, man. No, no, it's a fake, I'm afraid. Oh, but it confirms my
priors. It confirms my priors. No!
I did see, again, I'm not on social media, but I read Defector.
I saw the emails that the Longevity Doctor has with Epstein.
I was like, man, it really is blow in my mind how stupid these guys are, avoiding the evil
part, which is obvious, but just the way that they talk to each other is so fucking crazy.
Have you ever given any credence to the thought that you might want to live a little bit longer?
For the ladies, of course.
But fuck are you talking about, bro? Aren't you like 44 years old when you wrote this email
or something like that? Aren't you embarrassed to be typing that shit? It's so fucking crazy.
the hell they email in a dude who is on the sex offender registry for like a
restaurant recommendations man is working nonsense what are they talking
about man
Anyway, he did he did write to writing to my best friend who's on the sex offender list
OMG pussy is indeed low-carb still awaiting results on gluten content though like are
you fucking serious bro use your head for two seconds what are you talking why are you
Why are you writing that? Why are you writing that to anybody as like a middle-aged man,
but like also to Jeffrey Epstein specifically? It's so insane.
The worst part is I actually believe that the dude did like a spectrometer analysis on
to figure out the macros like that's the well actually the worst part is that it
exists to begin with but like the second worst part is I believe that they
it's believable to me at least that they could have hired a lab to do this
Also, like, if I may, these are the kind of jokes that we might make on the show.
The difference being that you can't be making those jokes with someone who's on the sex
offender registry, man, with like the most notorious sex, as soon as the most notorious
sex criminal of our generation says, is pussy low carb, you gotta step in and be like, you
kids say I'm sorry you lost the right to end one my improv on that one with the
whole sex offender stuff
holy cow
anyway
I mean, there's a lot of reasons it pisses me off.
I'm apparently I'm a cultural critic now.
There's a lot of reasons it pisses me off.
One of them is the obvious evil.
But then the other part is that the most annoying people for like 15 years have been like, you
know, this is the stuff that's going down.
And I'm like, you got to be fucking stupid to believe that.
And then they were fucking right, man.
So I look like a damn fool that the most annoying people on the planet have been hitting me
with a conspiracy that makes absolutely no sense and ended up being like completely correct.
It's so, it's insane.
What's this game title?
It's like trying to order an iced brown sugar shaken oat milk espresso.
I can't remember the word order, bro.
Space warlord baby trading simulator.
I just want a medium coffee, bro.
My arms are still so fucking sore.
I can't open my arms.
There we go.
Medium coffee, Adderall, and Thiesel jeans.
Hang on, ORIGIN is about to lay down the hammer in the Twitch Discord.
I'm doing a real-life pause, emoji, pausing, pause champ, waiting.
When I see, oh, dot, dot, dot is typing, I sit my purple ass down and listen.
Cinnamon with coffee goes hard.
true. Guys, I recreated the ice brown sugar shake and oat espresso at home. Can I give
you the secret? You're not going to believe this. It's ice. I don't do the espresso, I
just do cold brew, which makes it worse, I'll admit. If you have an espresso, an option
to make espresso at home, it's going to be better. So it's ice, cold brew, a little
bit of sugar, oat milk until it turns the color you want it to be, shake it up in like
a blender bottle essentially, pour it into a glass and then put a dash of cinnamon on
top of it.
I would say that puts you 80% of the way there, which is good enough for me.
No brown sugar.
They use like a brown sugar syrup, but I don't want to buy that.
I have used maple syrup before, but also I'm trying to, I mean, you don't want to hear
it, but I'm still trying to get snatched.
I'm trying to minimize the sugar content.
I guess I'm not like other men. I'm not afraid of doing like one more dish. I mean last night
can I tell you something? I cooked a week's worth of pasta for my daughter last night
and i mean if you saw the way that i handle the dishes your engineer head
would probably fucking explode
and honestly i would i would take great pleasure
in watching it happen in a scanner sort of way because i just i'm the type of
beast who doesn't give a fuck
first off
you you brown the ground beef in the pan and then add the chopped vegetables
for that i have a uh... a spatula to mix it up right
once you get the sauce going you put the uh... the noodles in the boiling water
I use a wooden spoon to stir it so that it doesn't stick together.
Then, after the noodles are cooked, I combine them with the sauce, mix it all up with the
same wooden spoon, but then I don't want to use a wooden spoon or a spatula to serve.
The correct tool for the job is a slotted spoon.
So I go into the drawer and I grab a slotted spoon and I use that to serve the pasta to
myself and my daughter.
So guess what buddy, tongs work good.
Okay, this is short pasta.
Okay.
You need you need the tongs. I'll admit but yes to cook to cook pasta. I use three different utensils. Oh
Oh, but that would take an extra
22 seconds to wash when instead we could just argue about it for half an hour instead. Hey, man
You do you okay, you might be right you might be right, buddy
Guys I can't
Streaming's too hard
This game takes my mouse
As a result of taking my mouse, I can't access my sound settings so I can't lower the volume.
Nah, one second, Chibli did this.
Chibli did this, which means I can also do it.
Too quiet?
Who cares? Who fucking cares if it's too quiet?
I fucking care. No, you don't. No, you fucking don't. I bet you neurons are so blown out.
You don't care about anything except the season finale of Steven Universe. Space warlord trading
baby space warlord baby
trading
jen i'm just gonna be real with you i i don't know the uh...
word order of this game
it is space warlord baby trading simulator
space warlord baby trading simulator
i want to eat
shiny big red apple
i want to eat
a big red
shiny apple
I want to eat a red, shiny, big apple.
That's crazy that they can, you can get so wrong.
It's definitely shiny, big, red apple, right?
We're all on the same page there.
Big red, shiny, shiny, big, red apple.
I need big red apple.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shiny, big, red apple.
Big red, shiny.
No, shiny comes first, man.
Holy cow.
So many people are putting big first.
shiny comes first and you know why shiny comes first because it's an
enchantment in the bizarre so you would not go oh I have dive weights shiny you
would go I have shiny dive weights it's that simple bro you don't know language
like I know language anyway what is this game you invest in alien babies and
then the babies have events that happen to them in their lives and you choose
whether to buy more or sell or short and then try to make as much money as
possible. It's that simple. We're playing new games man. It feels good. Hello. This
is Dricks Beasley. By the way I would be remiss if I didn't make a tip of the cap
to Chibli for playing this. This was on my radar but I was like I don't know maybe
I'll just play five hours of PUBG instead but then I saw Chibli play it and
I was like no this game's definitely on my alley.
at the tip of the cap to Chibli on that one.
In 3478, future sea terminals arrived at locations across the galaxy, provided the masses with a limited window into major future events and changed everything.
For just ten credits, anyone could view the trajectory of a company, a conflict, or even a star system.
It advanced medicine by hundreds of years, the organ trade stabilized, most people stopped fighting wars for pity's sake.
And it ruined fucking everything!
Everything, investment markets plummeted, trillions of credits of value were erased
overnight.
If there's nothing to speculate on, then the speculative market can't make money.
That's why our last chance to make real cash is babies.
Their precious lives and infinite potential are the only things the future sea terminals
can't predict.
The best they can do is simulate it.
So buy baby stocks, sell baby stocks, short a baby.
Children are our future and we have to take advantage of them before it's too late.
but unironically. As an education administrator on AOR 286-4,
Pixham is done setting his dreams aside for the greater good, and he has a plan.
He's injecting years of faulty results into public databases, lowering the
projected value of babies on the planet. He's purchasing a trading license. He's
trading his MG in for a white Chrysler LeBaron, and by the end of the week he
will buy a boat or die trying. Day one of four, 8 a.m. Financial markets are
stunned as a wave of new data reveals that babies on AOR 286-4 are in fact far less valuable than originally believed more than 11
Okay
Rare game where my camera perfectly slots into this bottom aside. That's fucking crazy, bro
Wow, I was like do glissaboo's yeti
I've always wanted to do this. You can't say that buddy. You can't say that
that. That's your trade interface hooked up, displaying the most profitable
planets in the baby market, just like you wanted. Names Joe, by the way. Select any
planet you have a trading license for, pay the entry fee, and you're off to the
races. Orbited by a HIST Corp seed, deployment platform capable of
whatever, bro. Okay. Investments comfortably swing high and low, offering a
multitude of trading opportunities. DL Guiga, are you here? Volatility is an
opportunity for for beta that's the way I've always looked at it average stock
price 357 entry fee 375 let's do it all right there's four babies on the market
today you can select one from here for now just pick the cutest baby and hit the
trade baby button all right woolly Mary Ann DD you idiot and Nikki um let's go
with DD bro because I've seen the movie and I'm taking out an equity position in DD from
age 1 to 13 and then as soon as he gets in with those skater kids I'm shorting DD until
they go down to zero.
DD gets some serious negative volatility as a result of being so rude to his mom who is
an angel by the way.
He shouldn't have been doing all that bro.
This baby's entire life is about to get simulated from beginning to end.
When good things happen to the baby, the stock goes up, when bad things happen, it goes down.
Buy low and sell high.
Now get out there and make some money.
I don't remember how much I paid for the baby.
You know what?
We dollar cost average.
And when it's below the line, the S is our strike price, bro.
That's what we paid.
Devoured by ground.
That seems bad.
I mean, as long as we're in a holding pattern like this, I'm not even sweating it.
We buy to lower our strike price.
Some events are going to damage the baby.
It happens.
The older the baby, the more fragile it gets.
This won't impact the baby's value directly so long as the baby's still breathing.
The second that kid croaks though, the value goes to zero.
Make sure you sell your stock before that happens.
I mean, I'm buying big.
Well dried up.
I can't buy any more, bro.
Signed petition against HEST Corp.
I'm in an accumulation phase right now.
Played harm a phone, protested gunk pipeline,
limb severed by harvesting equipment, unwell.
You know what?
Organized potluck, one antique auction.
Hang on, we're back.
Choked by orbital pollution.
We got a protestant gunk pipeline, bro.
We got to get out of this ASAP.
Drank Gleeple tranquilizer?
Oh, brother.
Hold four of these and see how it goes.
Treated water supply for infection.
Devoured by ground?
That's all, I only had one left, I only had one left.
That was okay.
And then we see our overall stats, right?
how did we do here? We lost like 20%. We bought at 93 and sold at 76. Now that you've seen
how it all works, I'm sure you'll be able to get out of the hole in no time. Not a great
life, bro. I mean, why was I buying more Didi? Yeah, we lost like 20%, bro. That's no good.
Coronation of her on eights air was delayed today due to a substance of unknown nature
being thrown into the Royal Hovercraft. Literally none of my business bro. Okay, 325 and we
got to pay table stakes just to get going. You can also hire consultants to give you
more information about the babies in return for a small cut of the earnings. Okay, let's
investigate Bay. You know the average price of a baby with high accuracy. You know the
lifespan of a baby with high accuracy. Let's let's hire you there. We'll live between 42 and 63 years.
All right. And you want 8% we'll try. Oh, I didn't know you can see profit at the top.
Well dried up. Huge buying opportunity.
Time enhance. Establish seed sharing station.
Enroll the you know, I mean like I hate to be the meme bro, but like they're doing so well
We got a buy on this killed invasive fly there. They're a leather a blue chip stock, bro
All right, I'm maxed out
Okay, uh sell sell sell get get yourself out of the hole here. I'm the meme on the mid limbs ever by harvest
Fuck fuck fuck learn to play banjo you can bring it back
Lost harvest to orbital disturbance, and you're not gonna die at 42 you're we're holding on until 50 at least drank leppel tranquilizer holy fuck
We're holding on till 50
Flat natural disaster with family I would think that's a good thing
Prayed for better days. Okay. I'm all I'm out. I'm out. How do we do?
Oh my god, oh my god, they're they're fucking trolling me. They're fucking trolling me
How did I lose with that chart, bro? How did I lose 728 with that fucking awesome chart?
What a fucking disaster man
Okay lock in lock in we're bringing it back on this one
Never day trade a
There you look like my fellow. Okay, give me the lifespan
91 to 122 years. Oh
Baby, oh, they let you track every baby. I mean, we're all in ready to start then
Okay, I'm all in and then take some profit just take a little profit now and then
Just a little bit.
That's fine.
One of the best features of the interface is just unlocked.
Shorts is your baby's value about to crash, then it's time to short that baby.
Your short will be locked until the timer is half full.
After it's unlocked, you can cash out.
If the value is lower than when you started the short, you'll pocket the difference.
Just make sure you cash out before the baby's value goes back up again, otherwise you'll
lose your shirt.
Yeah.
I mean, we're not shorting the baby right now.
That would have been a great time to, to be honest, marry childhood sweetheart, sell
a little bit, decorated home, quick sale.
We've got two shares remaining, Gleppel tranquilizer.
For me, that's a double buy.
And then we hold again.
quilts single cell went hiking one more cell two more cells I mean we're in we're in the
green one more cell than short a good thing the short didn't work there I mean I'm not
buying here this is this is insane this is the greatest baby of all time prayed for better
days okay I'm shorting at a thousand I'm shorting this baby organized potluck we're gonna lose
our fucking shirt bro oh shit oh wait wait wait wait wait decorated that's
alright so far so good we have a long way to go bro suffered heart attack from
shock cash out I'm cashing out that was huge great shorts and you know what you
got a long life left I'm buying back in and then slowly we profit off the
volatility. You can just hold one for now. That's fine with me. Confronted
executive. That's a buy. Escaped earthquake radius. I mean these were playing
for peanuts right now but established seed sharing station. Chat real quick. If
you watch Shibley play this, if you watch Shibley play this, what happens if you are
short a baby and the baby passes away. It seems like, oh, the short becomes void at
that point. The short becomes refunded. So, if you know that they're going to go between
91 and 122 years, can't you short at like 89, for example, and then just hold? And if
If it goes up too high, it will get voided anyway.
There is a time limit on it overall.
I see what you are saying.
Okay, you know what I am going to do?
I am going to wait until 95 and then I am going to short.
And then hopefully the short would either give us money or if we are in the red it just
gets voided by their death. Assuming we make it to 122. But honestly, we might just cash
this beast out, bro. Never mind. Got a little greedy on that one. It's alright, still a
really good day. 5600 up. They start 2100. Day three total. Well, we're at 7300. Now that's
pretty solid, man. I don't know if that's enough for a boat or whatever. Run it back.
Look at you made some cash. You're all ready to buy a boat. There's just one thing you
You don't want to buy a small boat, right?
Why settle for third place?
If you want to make real credits, multiply your trade volume over here.
Bigger risk, bigger rewards.
Times five leverage.
All right.
You know, I'm getting good vibes off of patience here.
78108 181 and 203.
Oh, Sarah, Sarah.
Wait, that's not the one we want.
We want Lube.
181203, that's fucking huge, bro.
Well, you know what we're going to do.
I mean, buying Bigly at the start, I'm all in.
I can only own two shares.
I'm chillin. I'm not even sweating this in the slightest, bro. My barn just got repaired
Huge I mean I'm not trading for for peanuts like that. Let's get one more good event
That's all right. I mean you got 200 years of life. I'm gonna chill when hiking that's big
well dried up that's not so good unremarkable ass life train dreams type
shit come on bro lock in there's no shot I'm short in this baby a 750
quick buy lower your strike price decorate at home okay arrested for
sharing seeds. Tended Funeral. Bro, you look like the chart of emerging market
stocks from 2008 to 2025. Like, get a life.
Still healthy. I'll sell one.
Left in dust by whippersnappers. We buy on that.
One more good one harvested meager crops. That's a single cell. Okay.
Prayed for better days. 2000 I would sell one more. Okay, you know what? You're going down.
If you go to 1750, I buy it's that simple. Bad buy, bro. Bad buy.
That's all right, we still hold
You got to get out of this baby, man
I got another hundred years as long as your time horizon is is long enough then like the current price doesn't matter
Acquired new loan. That's big
Harvested bumper crop I'm out for now. I'm out. Oh
Shit
Honestly, yeah, you're getting way too high. I'm shorting this baby for a minute. I
Think you're gonna you're gonna finish your life somewhere around that. Ah shit. They're peeking at that as a centenarian
That's all right, there's still 80 years for this to come down. Oh
My god, they invented like a
Roundup or something. I thought it said cooked by neighboring family. Oh, I'm going to have I'm losing my shirt, bro
I'm losing my fucking shirt because they're gonna they're gonna force me out of my damn short and I'm gonna get liquidated
Awful short
Okay, so I have no money and my the baby's gonna live for another 80 years
I have no money to buy to even reverse my position. So I'm fucking dead
Great job
Is there like a fast forward button that's like you might as well just kill me oh you could short again
Oh, you're so real for that
Yeah, you're making some big mistakes right now.
You're making some fucking huge mistakes, bro.
I got a cash out.
Almost brought us back.
I just want to be able to squeeze in one more short.
I don't think it's going to happen.
Shorted immediately.
May you live long enough for this short to hook us up.
Yeah, yeah, that's bad trade, bad trade.
Sucked it. Oh, fuck. Sucked into tornado fucking died.
God damn it.
lost $7,700, bro.
Holy shit.
Well, ruined. That makes sense.
Campaign saved, though. Selected Trader.
Failed or new.
Strangely on this plane because of the weight of his unresolved business. Mr. Zip passes the time by participating in the baby trade
Okay, earn 500 earn 120 earn 30,000
I didn't I didn't see what that said to be honest to be my apologies
I was clicking too fast because I want to get back to the dopamine
Let's start on the cheap planet, bro. I
Can make it work on the cheap planet and then just you know go in times five immediately
be smart about it. That's the prediction scraper up and running. Now you can place side bets on
these babies to make even more credits. Holy shit, we're trading derivatives on space babies.
You can place side bets on any baby or even all four at once. Here's the hoping yours pays out,
huh? Credits you put towards a side bet only get deducted after the trading day. So drive this
hover car like you stole it. So you can place your side bets are like on margin, bro. Like
prediction likely event left school to work farm odds six percent I'm out on
that one ravaged by weather six percent lives to be over 100 well one second
here can I investigate for a second I'd like to know the knows the lifespan of
a baby with low accuracy, bro, 12% cut, likely event haunted in bed by crop creature.
You know what I'm going to do here?
Give me, um, those are random event in baby's life, 3% confirmed event overdrafted bank
account.
science fair, attended health checkup, politely asked Heskorp to stop.
I'm going to go Monero with the 3%.
I'm going to trade on this baby.
And I'm going to believe that this baby is going to...
The science fair is going to be huge.
So I'm buying one share immediately.
and then selling it and we trade on the volatility.
Oh no!
Wait for one more, one more bad event.
Shit, that inspires a certain wanderlust.
I need you to dip a little lower.
I'm not clicking short just to click it.
Now you've had too much. You've had it too good for too long I
Need I need liquidity in a trade, bro
We're so close we're so cool drink triple tranquilizer you fool
Little more little more one more attended health checkup. Oh, just give me just a little more just a little more
Overdrafted bank account that's devastating
290 bucks, bro. Okay, wait, I'm I can't even buy you get a little lower so I could buy
Investigated quite you
Help direct barn
I thought that guy was in prison, bro. I
Should have I should have clicked it immediately. Okay, just wait
Got blackout drunk. That's literally a positive to some people. Okay. Well, I tempted to negotiate
We're buying in. We're buying in. Okay. What are you? You're 70 years old but healthy escaped earthquake radius
sell on that
Burned in wildfire. That's not great
Unwell choke I'm shorting the baby immediately. I think I shorted it before the event even hit
Don't tell me he's about to die because he's on yellow health like half of you are probably
on yellow health you're gonna be around a lot longer okay that's fine short voided
a lot of money today. We lost like half of our money. Not great. Not great to be honest with you.
Can you do a split? I have some horrible news for you. The stock doesn't split. The investor does
not do a split. Let's go. Honestly, I think we should be trading on one ball or one stakes right now.
Well, he meant with your legs.
Oh, that's, I mean, who can't, bro?
Google, Google, contracted preventable virus, hunted big game on undeveloped planet, likely
event committed suicide.
One second here.
Um, let's, let's get a 15% cut for how accurate or how positive a baby's life will be.
60% to 66% positive, 51, 59, 45, 54.
OK, so you know what?
I'm going to be out on the event, commit suicide.
And I'm going to trade on this baby.
I would like to know, I mean, the floor price is like a given
at 8%.
Price will bottom out between 117 and 339.
Okay, well, I'm not gonna buy it
till we get below 339 at least.
I'm all in, bro.
I mean, you're at like 200, I'm all in on that.
And you just had a lot of, I was just gonna say,
We just had a lot of negative events, so we go, we expect more positivity.
I'm not even sweating that.
Okay, I'm out and then I'm shorting.
I'm shorting at 650.
Oh, that's big!
honestly I'm buying a couple on the way. I'm dollar-cost averaging on the way.
You're on well already? Cash out on the short? I'm selling my stock I think I'm
hodling at this point. I'm not buying anymore. I think we did-
Oh, that's a good that was a crazy ride that was a crazy ride holy cow
we're back baby that's these goo replacement Emporium is helping entire quadrants discover
their best selves are so they would like you to think. What is the triangle mean man?
All babies, oh you picked a good time to start trading since you got the deluxe interface you
can see there's a ton of planets with market conditions. They alter each planet's unique
rhythm and you can build a strategy around it. All babies start the trading day with 50% of their
normal health. Entry fees are 50% off. Trade interfaces will occasionally be obscured by static.
Nah, bro. I'm all in on the basics here. Let me see something.
Oh, short position stock value will drop to $155. Let me see, uh, baby's floor price?
$76 and $212? Lacking funds, lacking fucking funds. Holy shit.
event swept away by wind. Can I see what their price starts at, man? My mistake. I am a
broke boy, unfortunately. Long position stock value will reach 50.29. You need 25, well,
I know the side bet's 2,500. I mean like the price of the, the price of one share of the
baby I mean bro I gotta go with this the price bottoms out so low we got a trade
on that baby bigly and just hope it happens early I mean as far and we can
Just wait until a short, bro.
I'm shorting from here.
I mean, you gotta get down there somehow.
Huge mistake on your part.
Infected by pollution.
Things are looking awesome for me right now.
Attended funeral, don't even care.
Cash out.
No shot we're buying in right now
Played our monofone bro. There's so much there's so much volatility to the downside. Oh, it's beautiful still tons. I
Be happy to short right now
Immediate profit huge
Disasters for you awesome for me
Soon by Haskell. This is the greatest day of my life. I'm still I'm cashing out. I'm taking my money right now
And then what 76 and 212?
Little more little more
Little more you can get a little lower
You could get a little lower I'm not buying in you I know you're about to die soon, but
I might not buy in at all. I might not buy in at all higher this ten of five
Yeah, I'm not touching maybe maybe you bottomed in there. I don't care. We made our money
Doesn't even bother me in the slightest
The bower by grounds, okay, I can live with that
average sale price zero we bought no stocks but we did make 18,000 credits
which I think is fucking good bro 16,000 off the top today marks the second
anniversary of the double son massacre we mourn the victims on both sides of the
law who were caught in the brutal crossfire and wish their family's
piece really is what opening bell will be like on CNBC sometimes. Stock values swing wildly. The
market reacts to all events with 200% the severity. I'm all in, bro. I'm all in. And then
Then, how positive a baby's life will be?
I mean floor price is so valuable.
105, 454, 51, 209, 76, 469, 53, 57.
So at some point all of these babies are going to suck.
Baby Bond lives to be over 109 years old.
see I honestly I got 15% is too much I'm not willing to do it here we trade on
this baby we look for the 51209
ace big test good we want to see as much price discovery to the upside as we
can to start with. Devastating. Household robbed. I'm holding on the short for now.
Join sports league. Holy shit, the swings are fucking crazy. Okay, now short that baby.
Short that baby. We need some bad events here. We're going to need some bad events ASAP,
please. Okay, almost back. Lost round of golf a little bit more. Addicted the buzz filter
a little just a little bit more removed from inheritance. Cash me out cash me out on that.
Oh, up by by by by by by by by by by by by by by by by by by by by by by by by by by by
by drones learn to play bass guitar a little bit more just a little bit more
just a one more good event siphon water from yacht mister just a little bit more
just a little bit more yeah holy shit oh there was no reason to short that the
The price could stay high forever, bro.
There was no reason to short.
There was no reason for it.
Trampled, okay.
Or the baby could also, the baby could pass away.
I hate to say it.
Pushed executive out of window.
Just cash me out of minus, I can live with minus a thousand.
It just, literally we're just covering our risk.
Okay, risk managed on a beautiful day.
And then I don't really care how long you, oh.
At least we were out of the short by then, bro.
At least we were out of the short by then.
I got it, I got a short this baby though.
Look at the price, bro, I got a short it.
It plays with your greed.
Oh God, oh God, he's on a legendary run.
Oh
Short-voided holy shit
Whoo saved Timo you're my goat Timo
Okay, good day today, I mean 30,000 is a given bro
What do you got babies start with 50% normal health
Entry fees are 50. I don't I don't want anything obscured by static, bro
234,000 we're off on that one. Let me that's such a it's a crazy entry fee, bro
You know what? It's actually I'm realizing it's better to
Have less shares at a higher price like with the trading stakes amped up because it means that
Although maybe not with this it takes time to sell
sell the shares. You can't sell shares instantaneously. So it makes sense to have the leverage.
Please take a look at the trend before you decide. That's a good point. Investments steadily
trend upwards until meeting a sudden cascade of regrettable events. Investments soar or
plummet with little existing in between. Investments comfortably swing high and low.
Sudden cascade of regrettable events. Very interesting.
50% of their normal health, kind of crazy. I'm going to keep it simple, bro.
So for this average stock price, we're not going to be able to afford anything.
So let's just go times five again.
Baby Bond lives to be over 89 years old, 87.
Long position stock value will reach 11,000.
I still really like Noah Baby's floor price.
like it enables you to do some serious work. 30% odds. I mean 103 to 286. Although 5K on
the side bet. Does that mean I need to have, I need to be in a short position when it drops
to 227 no because then you wouldn't know the odds okay so I'm in for and what's
the average share price was like 2,000 these pay three to one no they bought
three and a bit to one but I really want to go in for 10k I'd say it's here's
I think this is mispriced bro. I'll tell you why. Here's why I think it's mispriced.
3 to 10 odds, 30% chance. But based on this, if we just took the midpoint of this, it's
like 190. I think there's better than 30%. I think there's like 55% odds that the value
will drop below 227. Air go? I mean, we're going James Holtz Hauer mode. 15,000 leaves
me 20,000 to trade with, roughly. We trade on this baby bigly. 103286, we're looking
103286 but it could be late could happen late don't get me wrong
Me I'll buy a share around here
Deployed on front lines. I'll sell the share around there. I'll buy a share around here
Sell a share around there, bro
Buy a share right there wait this is this is our buy
Untimely death bro untimely death this is devastating it's a black swan event
Wait, but how do we do on the side bet?
Oh my God!
Devastating.
Are your investments feeling a little slow? Crank the stakes up. Bro, that's how I got ruined.
Okay, we need stock values that swing wildly.
Investments comfortably swing high and low. Huge, okay.
Again, I'm a floor price main right now 346
1355 what the fuck that's the bottom
Bro
We trade on this baby by big by big
I'm all in
Little sell.
Little buy.
Then you hold.
Hold, hold a little longer. Okay, that's big.
We're out. You gotta hold one. Sucked into tornado, did not die.
Little more, little more.
Okay, hold, hold, hold.
played harmonophone
Injured in sickle accident do we buy I buy under 2k
Attended funeral that could be big for us quick sale
Learn to play banjo a couple more cells
Infected by pollution
I'll buy two on that repaired home
Home, sell two, one cookoff, sell two,
repaired workstation, sell out, I'm shorting.
I'm shorting on 3750.
Aw, fuck.
They're living the greatest life ever.
No, investigated by corporate law, investigated by corporate law.
Mended clothes for neighbors, oh you fucking do-gooder.
You will pass away.
You will pass away right now.
You will pass away.
Shit.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
I had everything!
I'm out.
I'm not, I'm not buying, I'm not buying anything else on this.
I mean a short from here would probably go crazy.
If I, short that baby, if we could just cash out,
if we could just cash it out.
Yes, that's a devastating choice for you.
Not dead.
Let me get a little bit of my money back.
Why would you sell the short before the Gleppeltranquilizer
priced into the fucking market bro, are you stupid?
No, it's too risky.
You could die at any moment.
I'm out.
Way, way, way too risky.
I mean, I'm not shorting, bro.
could live to be 200. I think we just simmer on this. Ah, fuck it. Alright, short-voided.
It's kind of a low-risk situation, fair enough. That was a crazy day, man. We actually made
money. It looked horrible for a while. We were taking lots of little victories, which
was nice. We were doing the TikTok thing. We were buying when the stock is down here
and then selling it when it's up here. It's just that easy.
A minor God of lost cargo appears to have manifested in the
RYGLE nine star system. Travelers are warned to avoid the
region. My local authorities resolve the issue.
27,000. What do you got? Each stock is worth 200% is normal
value. Each stock is a last day is always trading frenzy. We
want the only way we're going to make this work is with a high
degree of volatility for sure we can buy one share and honestly I want to
maximize my revenue bro all I want to know life span is 12% 3% is random
event I'm going all in I'm picking based on name lobe Eliani Hera or Godby how
How can you not take Godby?
Okay, and then we trade, we just, we go one share, one share, one share, we buy and we
sell.
Buy immediately, I can't afford it.
It needs you to go down.
Little lower please.
Little lower so I can get in on this.
I'm in.
It hit my, it hit my price.
Ah, shit.
Don't short, just hold.
Big swings, big swings.
Big fucking swings.
old that should literally be positive grief is a natural part of life
it's not looking great y'all I really don't want to short here though that's
we're so back just a little bit more little bit more just one treated water
supply for infection I think we got one more in us one cookoff sell me short me
eaten away by orbital acid. And you know what? We buy there.
Assaulted at peaceful protests. I would love to, I would love to purchase. Wait,
wait, wait. One more purchase right there. Sell the short. Insanely good short.
Shared pastries with neighbor. Escaped earthquake radius. That's a double
self or a beast like me one fist fight okay I'm very content with our with
our position here repaired barn repaired barn is a short to me at 13,000 we
short lost home the hescorp at auction holy fuck you know what let me get two
shares. At these prices we have to buy. And then cash out. Oh! It's the greatest day of
my life. Sued by Hascorp. This is a buy. And then get out fast. Oh fuck! That's still really
good that's still really really good that's still really really fucking good
what a fucking rush bro what a fucking rush even if I did get killed by
lack three Tura mr. zip it's success in the baby trade for sees oh mr. zip it's
Its success in the baby trade forces Lux interstellar, a bank he wants robbed to reserve a space
for his earnings in their vault.
Watching the credit chips pile up by the day, he breaks a long-standing policy and smiles
a good week's work.
Damn, we fucking wanna run, bro.
Obviously, we have to run it back with PIXUM.
Space warlord baby trading simulator, there you go.
10x on the last day.
literally never over. We're getting a boat. This is the tutorial all over again, holy
cow. I didn't even look, what is this one? This is Swings Wildly. Okay, and no consultant
on day one, that's so embarrassing. Clark, Woolly, Woolly, or Lee? Let me get turn up
willy. Two shares rated open. Add to your position with two more. Lower your strike
price. No profit to be taken yet, nothing significant at least. Cook for a neighboring
family. That's a cell one in my in my household. That's a cell one. Attended
funeral you saw one more enrolled in academic courses I'm out and getting
ready to short oh they haven't even invented shorting yet okay I'm back in
with four evicted from home is a big negative that means you go all in big
Be greedy when others are fearful, bro.
Now, yeah, OK, a little.
Unload a little.
Little risk management.
A little, little risk management would go crazy right here.
Still healthy.
Unleashed crop creature, that's bad.
You know what?
We buy at a lower our strike price.
Fired from farm.
Devastating.
I'm holding too many shares.
Ravaged by weather. Still healthy though, still healthy.
God, it would have been crazy to buy down here.
It's a little, unload your position a little bit.
You don't always have to sell above the strike price.
Just unwind some of the risk you're holding right now.
Prevented blight from reaching for us.
That's great news.
Okay, managed to recover a little bit.
Still healthy too.
Learn to play banjo.
We don't need to trade on everything.
You don't need to trade on everything, you can look at this.
You don't buy just because the chart goes down, that's a rookie mistake.
Now when the chart goes down a lot, you might consider it.
10 of funerals with buff in this.
Help neighbor get their farm back.
I'm happy you're having a great life.
I'm honest, I'm out.
I'm out.
Well, I gotta get into this price.
Big hiking.
Just a short position.
Just a short, a small position.
I should say.
Lo-ho!
Ok, on load.
I gotta get into this price.
Just one share.
Ah, fuck.
fuck 138 138 not so good we had a really good moment though for a minute there
got to watch the age it was just a one share position bro you're broke even yeah i know
i don't know what the charts gonna do bro
I can't afford to trade.
I would love a consultant, man.
Average price of a baby with high accuracy for 8%, average price 79 to 275, 518 to 696.
It seems like what you would want is the lowest so you could buy the most shares.
So knowing that Gianna is going to have an average price between $79 and $275, we'd buy
under $170 and just make money.
Just go all in under $170.
We got to watch this very closely.
And then when it goes up above 200, you sell.
And now we're out.
We're out on that point.
And now we buy in when it goes under the...
When it goes under?
It goes under a little bit?
Overdrafted bank account, devastating.
Drank level.
The worst, bro.
You just need a little...
Just a little...
Just a...
Ah, that's an all-in moment.
That's I'm all in.
That could be a big position.
And then Sella over the 275.
Married for love, one cookoff, one cookoff again,
Slowly unwind up. That's fine. We buy under the strike price and then we slowly unwind the position
Learned how to slaughter animal
Infected by pollution we chill we chill on that you're not gonna die
You did it has the average is not right yet. Oh shit. The average could be right shared pastries
Good time to get out of here, man
oh fuck well you're gonna die at the next event close anyway
oh injured by fall okay too risky we got and sell everything is over bro we
made 883 credits today bro if you could just add 20% of your net worth every
day you'll be a millionaire in like a month okay can we go times five yet no
because we won't be able to afford any stocks any shares let me get average
price. I like this 47 and 231. Investigate Eliani. 47 231. Sucked into
tornado. I want to see a little bit more. I want to see a little. Okay, now we buy.
Keep buying. There's gonna be a lot to manage here. I think you still buy here.
Okay, no shorts incoming. Decorated home. I think we're due for an increase here.
Repair barn. A little bit more please. Overdrafted bank account. No volatility to
trade on, I'm afraid. Killed in base of fly warts. Learned how to slaughter animal. That's
big. No short yet though. 300. 300 I'll short. Not even worried about that. Still not worried
about that. Just more movement to the downside. We're back in. Okay, cash out that beautiful
short, slept under the stars. Don't pass away unexpectedly. Stocked by crop, creature, devoured
by grounds, not necessarily awesome, choked by orbital pollution. I'm gonna need a little,
an unwind a little risk here. I believe. And then short. No, don't shoot him! Oh my god!
I think I'm going to be fine.
I think I'm going to be OK.
Because they're going to die.
Or I can just hold the short.
Wove quilts.
Oh, stop peeking as a nonogenarian, bro.
Left in dust by whippersnappers.
Big event for us.
Donated close to shelter.
I need one more event.
I need one more fucking event right now.
Filed restraining motion.
OK, it brings us back a little.
Swept away by orbital wind short voided.
Oh, okay, that was, that was a better day.
1729 up today.
Okay, this is a, this has got to be a huge one.
We got to go times five.
And then we need to know,
We need to know the average price of the baby with high accuracy, bro.
$3,033, $1,200 to $1,600, $15 to $188, so it's about $300 each one.
Let me get sully, because there's a chance we could buy two shares at under $1,242.
Well dried up.
We buy another.
started at 750. This is a dream come true, bro.
Well, honestly, you sell way higher now. Like you sell at like 1800 now because
you spend so much time under the curve. So I'm not I'm not fucking I'm not
selling right here. Absolutely not. All fucking bottom out there. And then we wait for you
to hopefully come back down. It's got to be a little lower. Now I don't want to short
yet one more positive event and we short now. Okay. Hold on this one more positive event
injured in sickle accident, motherfucker.
Treated water supply for infection.
You spend too much time up there.
That's a short.
Honestly, I think you buy under a thousand now,
because I think they've spent too much time above the curve.
Open a position.
Cash out the short.
Well, losing three shares of the end kind of sucks.
Whatever, though.
What are we, 5,000 up?
It's not too bad.
That was a pretty good day, man.
And we got a bronze trophy, finally, so we beat the tutorial.
Smaller than advertised.
Pick some looks at the dinghy, barely filling a small living room.
All that for this?
I mean, bro, you got a dinghy in four days.
seems pretty good. Seven days, six days, eight days. A disgraced agent for child stars the
galaxy over. When Bill is organizing his comeback to where what the fuck, 1.5 million?
That's madness. Your reputation precedes you. You cannot visit a lone shark. I didn't even
know that was a thing, man. All babies start with 50% their normal health.
Investments smoothly decline and ascend, ride the wave of profit.
Investments are short-lived and dramatic. Investments can soar in value as long as
they don't die before they leave the planet. That's mighty interesting.
Each stock is worth 200% its normal value. I need a I need a baby's life span.
Oh shit. Length of the baby's longest upswing with no accuracy. Nose a random
event. I mean average price of the baby 1480 to 1697, 4207,000. I'm all in bro.
I'm all in bigly. I'd like to buy one more share.
That's not gonna happen. I don't think we're ever gonna get the opportunity.
Please have a cascade of negative events immediately. One more please, one more
negative event.
Cryed to sleep. I mean there's been so much time below 7,000 we don't sell till
we get way up. Started on fan club. No shorts are coming that's for sure.
Right now I sell in my opinion I sell at 12,000
If you could just dip a little bit bro
Underwent cosmetic surgery
Sell bro the average price is 7,000. I'm not selling at 4,000
And they, I mean like they've lived there, they've lived for so long under the curve
bro.
This is probably a nun short.
Okay now we're, now we're talking.
I honestly think I need to see 25,000.
that's green I think I need to see 25 in order to be impressed with this because you spend
so much time under the curve for the average to get up there there's got to be more. I
need more. One more, just one. One more. I'm out. I'm out.
BOOM!
Holy shit!
Greatest timing in stock market history.
That's diamond hands, bro.
Frame perfect. Holy fuck.
$13,000 up? I think we could have done better too.
Sorry, that's pretty good.
Big ups from the consultant. Appreciate the consultant's help on that one.
Holy shit
Consultant confused Jampus is no longer none of the consultants are working with us anymore. They ain't fucking with this
I don't even care man
Stocks and entry fees are 300% their normal value. I can't afford that. I'm afraid
Better off going like I couldn't afford that either. What do you got stocks are 300% their normal value the graph goes twice as fast
Investments soar or plummet with little existing in between
Let's trade here and see what we got going on. I want to see what we got. Oh all all consultants are oh shit
All consultants aren't fucking with me anymore. So basically I'm placing a bet
It's I don't even know if it's 50 50, but they soar or plummet with little existing in between
I mean, there's no shot holistic is not going to the moon
It sounds crazy I'm placing one side bet just to just to have a I mean
It's thinking on more risk, but it maybe it's uncorrelated with the success of the life the baby's life
So we're gonna have to do a little bit more active trading here because we don't
we don't know how their life is gonna be. Failed to host. So far the life is looking pretty good, bro.
Chill, chill.
I'm buying. I'm buying. I'm trading on that volatility off the low.
Dip under 500, I got you.
Yeah, okay.
Salvage clothing, trade off the volatility a little.
Stole gold bullion, that's awesome!
Get out!
Beaten by casino security, still very healthy, lost a round of golf, horrible day for us,
just hold, hold, hold.
successful meme. That can be big. Completed hiking vacation. Devastating. Embarrassed at
large gathering. Now we're talking. Quick buy. Conceived child. Quick sell. Directed
monument to self. Cell? I don't feel comfortable shorting. Oh! Bye again. Couldn't pay bills
because I'm gambling addiction! I'm buying more. I'm lowering my strike price. Ah, shit.
I'm unwinding my position post-haste.
horrendous, horrendous.
4,000 down.
I mean, that means we made a thousand,
but it cost us 5,000 just to trade here.
That's a bad day.
How about your side bet?
Side bet also lost, I'm afraid.
You need to buy in at the Lowe's, man.
I think that you may have been ruined by Wall Street bets.
There's no burden, Malkiel, of Space Warlord Baby Trading Simulator, okay?
We don't know if the market's efficient.
It was 200, man.
You who should just give your money to an advisor.
I'm just being honest. Just give your money to the advisor.
Let them take their two in 20. Okay. It's, it's worth it to get it out of your hands.
It was that 200 motherfucker.
Go look at the Peloton chart and then go back to the Peloton discord in 2022 and
look at how many people are like, it literally can't go lower. I'm going to buy
it right now.
You do not understand.
I don't want the graph to go twice as fast.
Investments are short lived and dramatic.
Smoothly decline and ascend.
Smoothly decline and ascend.
You know what?
I think this might be my play here.
Investments smoothly decline and ascend.
No consultants wish to work with us.
If it goes down twice by, that's the way I'm looking.
If it goes up once by, I have an idea.
Likely event paid off at debt.
117 years old.
I think I want to save my capital.
This is going to be a Chet Lemon type play.
If it goes up at first, go up.
Trade the momentum.
Yup, continue buying.
Lost one.
This is the pivot.
Now buy off the low.
Hold for a second.
It could go one more down.
Yup.
in down here. More, more, more, more. And then wait for three events and, and sell out.
I'm now short, because it's going to go back down.
It's so fucking predictable, bro.
bro. I don't know, more. More, please. We have to just hold here. Hold and wait. That's
a beautiful play for us. Served the super. I need one more down. Give me one more big
one down. Arrested at protest. Don't make me sell. They made me sell. Lost limb. Lost
limb we wait and we buy on the next event. And then we sell off a big one. I know they
could die. Huge. Okay, we recovered a little bit at the end there. We recovered a little
Do you have to spend money to make money hold it out at the end I
Can live with that
This is a big ad for ETFs, bro, I've doubled my money in three days
What do you mean it's an ad for ETFs as much as I would love that to be the case
I don't think that's the case
Speed of the market graph will change randomly
smoothly decline and ascend soar or plummet with little existing in-between and none of the they're not fucking with us at all, man I
Think I think we got to go for the the smoothly up and the smoothly down again and no consultants will work with us
I'm just going straight into it, man
We buy a momentum.
Huge.
That's a full sell.
We buy into three weakness.
Wait for it.
Learned how to bake.
Devastating plenty of time, though.
Build home from salvage prefabs.
Basically nothing. Flat.
Served at Soup Kitchen. Okay, you really think you're special.
This is a short. The decline is priced in.
Buried in landslide. Fantastic news.
Given black eye by citizens brigade, one more negative than we buy.
I'm in.
burned home of the soil citizen cash out the short sell a little I'm holding so
quickly on the event maybe that's the meta visited museum we can get one more
up easy easy eight endangered species that's a big plus honestly I think we're
at the turn. That looks like a short to me, a 4500. Sorry, I'm not even, yeah, exactly.
I'm not even worried about it because the fundamentals are fucked up. The fundamentals
are bad. Short voided. That's that's fine by me. I mean I thought that maybe if we
could have stuck the landing down there and like the 400s or something it would
have been even better but 4k up. Annie are you okay? It's hard to trade with no
knowledge of where the market's gonna go bro. I'm realizing. Consultants are back.
Oh, a double their usual cut.
Who are my consultants?
I'd like to see who they are, man.
Entry fees are 50% off.
Interfaces will be obscured by static.
I do think we still want this.
Let me see.
the baby's cause of death, knows the value at 30 years old with low accuracy, I'll give
it a try. 23 to 3,000, 1100 to 1800. Okay, so you're ass at 30 years old, but this is
the one where it's like they soar in value as long as they don't die early. I'm gonna
to get real fucking risky, bro. I'm gonna get insanely risky with it. It's Grafia, and we
wait to buy until age 30. Or short, short if they're higher in their 20s. No sweat.
Don't give a fuck
Stole food
Lost rap battle your life basically sucks week. I mean we could fucking buy bro. I
Know I understand they're 22 years old right now
24 at 1500. I think the short sucks ass to be honest. I
Think my plan has failed
We buy big, then we go all in.
And then we pray.
This is prayer territory.
Pray that you have an awesome life from this point onwards.
That could be a positive in some lines of work.
Salvage the electronic toy.
Just give me some more.
Investments can soar if they live long enough.
Investments can soar.
This is not soaring yet.
It's not soaring.
It's good.
It's not soaring.
Household rob.
Not also bad.
Also bad.
Not.
No.
No.
Not yet.
Investments can soar.
Trust.
Binge TV show is bad now.
This investment is not sword, bro.
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
They said it was gonna go to the moon, man!
Well, that's the end of that camp.
What do you mean final day? I have no money, bro. Oh, I still have 10 grand somehow. Never mind
Investments can soar investments are short-lived and dramatic
You don't really need a short lived
We need to take a shot is I guess what I'm trying to say we're gonna make no money, bro
We could buy one share of one stock
Who are we trading on? It's got to be toolbared. Okay. Now the question is do you think it's
going to go well or badly? I'm all in. I'm betting on you being basically the next,
I don't know, multiple lottery winner. I'm betting on you being Kevin Spacey from Now
You See Me. That's not the movie. It's 21 now that I think about it. Sorry, your life
Sucks ass to start with and then because it sucked ass so much at age 18 you
Go to MIT and become the world's smartest individual
I gotta be honest with you. It's not looking great
It's not looking awesome
I've been killed at age 36 and nine months. Couldn't be me
All right, not a not a good performance to be honest with you no consultants kind of an interesting move
They weren't fucking with me at my lowest they don't deserve me at my best man. Okay, we run it back
You aren't fucking with me at my lowest you don't deserve me at my Peter
Investments soar plummet with little existing in between.
I think this is what we want to see, man.
And babies start with 50% their normal health.
Give me 5x trading stakes and then let me see what we got here.
Knows the average price of a baby with high accuracy.
That's huge.
Average price will be 36.
Average price will be 500.
Navistating.
Well, this is for buying. This is for shorting. Short position, 38%. I mean, okay, can I say
something, bro? If you're willing to put this on it, I mean, that's a given, but the problem
is I will have none money. Oh, no, you can, will I have none money or will I have, because
it takes it after, right? You pay after. I'm definitely in on this. This feels like a
gimme to me. Average price 562 to 943. So obviously I'm just not gonna buy above the
average. I don't know how long your life's gonna be. It doesn't seem like it's
going to be very long. I was shorted immediately, bro. Pretty much a devastating life. Right
through the streets by drunk tea I lost I lost $8,000
because it cost me $5,000 just to play ball
but then okay so I'm I'm 1500 down I could live with that
Hold R angle. You guys might be cowards. No disrespect. You're probably right. Sometimes
one on day one might be the play man. We have no consultants. No consultants to me means let's play
on the one where the price is a little bit more predictable. Short position stock price will drop
to 26 127 long position stock value will reach 2355 stock value will drop to 26
bro give me two of those the fact that you can't diversify in this game pisses
me off of course you can diversify bro you're not you're not thinking with
multi-factor variance. Take a long position on the side bed, you know, for 12% of your
portfolio, and then trade as if it's not going to reach this, bro. It's that simple.
The versification. You can trade on multiple factors within the same resource.
I'm going to bet as if it's not going to get there.
Take out a little position early.
Let's see where it goes.
We buy into momentum, and then start to sell a little.
We don't buy off of one of those, we buy off of multiples.
Trap during earthquake.
I'm lowering my strike price.
Huge.
I mean, if it gets to 26, I'd be thrilled, bro.
And now you go crazy!
Now you go to the moon!
more just give me one more more more more no no that's bad yes that's good one
more one more good one we unwind it celebrated new plan it will go go go go
Short this baby!
Concussing vortex that's huge for a shorter like me.
And cash out before they die. Oh they're gonna die cash out.
That was like a lot of trading to not make a lot of money though. Oh
And the side bad the fucking side bed hit to
Little bit of luck involved we got to be careful though, bro with no with no consultants
We have to be very very careful like we have to trade on this low volatility shit
it. Unfortunately, maybe it lives to be 108 long position stock will reach 9900 short
position. He has been kind of like J bro. I have a really hard time believing that your
stock value will reach 9900. If that's a 9x bro or something like that, what's the average
price like a 3x?
Similarly, you dropping the 181 is like really, really low. 108 cleared in patriotism trial.
I'm going to put a rack on 108, bro.
And then I'm just going to bet that you're going to get close to 9,000.
Let's go a little bit in early.
You don't have to go all in just a little bit.
They love watching Imperial parades.
Okay.
sell a little followed by police. I think you're going up so I'm buying a little.
One more. Give me a little more. Love to see that.
Run it low. Question by Citizens Brigade. I'd like to see one more down before we buy back
in you might never get back in bro give me two shares okay even better that the
second click didn't go through take me to four shares give me one more if you're
gonna have a chance to get up to 9000 you gotta you gotta get started pretty
fucking soon. Smoothly up, please. Hot self-defense class. Have patience. Up into the right, Lance.
up into the right.
One more than we unwind, a little, huge.
Take one more out.
One more out.
Holy fuck.
on that don't I'm not shorting I'm not shorting I short if it hits 9,000 I
shorted it exactly the right time or did I or did I
no shot bro shared pace whatever we just this is good because we got the side
bed too so even if we lose a little bit off the short the side bed might hit and cancel it out
laser during commute not so good one more one more study oh i bought i bought i meant to
sell it i meant to cash out sucked in the hurricane still a good day good day
Okay, oh.
This is crazy.
I had a different side bet, I'm realizing that.
I had a different side bet than I thought.
Still 7,000.
Still no consultants, we go for the smooth up and down.
Argued with coworker 6%, value will drop to 324.
I'd go in on that.
The 4% is not really interested.
And then I'd be with coworker 324.
I mean, honestly, I think you trade on this baby as well, and we know what, we're just
going to take a little victories.
Go in for three, farm a positive event, get out for three, trap during earthquake by low.
go in for three. Just hold right there. Hold. You got more for me. Crushed by Tsunami to
breathe not so good. I mean we're going all in down here. Learn to play instrument. Relative
died a mining accident bro we're gonna be bigly up
poisoned by sea pollution I mean I add to my stack at this level strike prices
like 550
shot at by civilian militia whatever any news is good news attempted suicide but
it didn't take ignore that oh fuck fuck I lost everything
your life basically sucked oh never mind dude that's okay great side bed at
least great side bet okay now we got consultants we need to take big bets
That's bro.
Short lived and dramatic.
Sore or plummet.
It's got to be sore or plummet.
And then we go back in.
Nose babies cause of death.
Nose.
30 years with low accuracy.
Okay.
30 years you're basically going to be garbage.
Let me see what we got here.
Stock value will drop to 499.
I don't think that's going to happen.
Throwing out of a window.
How would we know?
Caught stealing gold billion.
How would we know, bro?
Value will be $23.63, $4,200.
All right, it's that simple.
I'm all in on Usbi.
All in on Usbi, and we just wait till we sell above $5,300
or age 30, whatever comes first.
I mean, they're already halfway there.
We shorted at like 6,000 or lower.
Oh, fuck, that's huge.
Okay, one more big one.
Eye enlargement surgery.
Not big enough yet.
We need a little bit more.
We need just a little bit more.
They're going to give us one more big event.
Okay.
Okay, I'm sold out.
I'm bought back in immediately.
Cause events, they have great lives or horrible lives,
nothing in between.
Okay, I'm all in, bro.
Like clockwork.
I'm not shorting a 6,000,
they have amazing lives or horrible lives.
I think your life is gonna get even better.
I'm selling both and I'm shorting at 8k.
God, that's way up.
That's way up.
Come on.
Pull me down just a little bit.
Just pull me down a little bit.
Yes, beaten by casino security.
One round of golf.
That's not worth getting beaten twice.
Give me a little, a little downside.
Oh, these are all so bullish.
Oh, this is devastating.
Ah!
That's all my money!
Oh my God, oh my God.
And then they got set on fire.
And they got killed, they got killed,
they got killed one tick after that.
They got killed one tick after this.
Are you fucking trolling me?
Bro, they invented a new quibble racing.
Have you noticed this?
I'm new to investing.
How much can you buy with negative $476?
It depends on the platform.
Welcome to the Lone Shark.
Wait, but I was gonna say the Lone Shark just kills us
because he doesn't like us.
Okay, we're gonna run it back,
First I got to go to the bathroom.
Space Warlord Baby Trading Simulator 2.
All right, I'll be back in one second.
you
you
you
All right, I'm back.
I had to get a cherry bubbly.
Cherry, cherry bubbly, that is good, cherry.
you bubbly tonight. Um, wish, wish, Lord, baby trading simulator. All right, guys, we're
back. And we're back with when bill. I have a strategy for when bill now, man. My strategy
for when bill is day one. Take a big swing. Each stock is worth 200% is normal trading
volume. Okay day one you have consultants so you take a big swing. Knows the
length of the longest upswing with low accuracy. The average, okay I really think
you got to go average price, 370, 1400. Holy shit okay so I think you take an
enormous swing today. Average price will be between 14, I honestly if I'm being
dead-ass with you, bro. This sounds so crazy. I'm in for, what is this even? I'm in for
like, like 20 side bets that this is going to hit 3300. I 100% believe it will, because
it starts at like 100, and then the average is going to be between 14 and 1500, and then
we trade on this baby, bro. I believe in it. I believe in it. It starts at 400, but still.
And then I'm just going all in immediately.
And then if it gets to the average, we just sell.
And then you hope the side bets hit.
Day one has to be a sure thing.
And I mean, I would, I'd love to lower my strike price,
but I have a hard time believing.
I have a hard time believing it's gonna stay low.
14 and 1500, we hold.
We still hold.
I mean, you got a long way to go.
I'm going to start to unwind just because we have so many shares to sell.
It's going to take a while to sell all these.
Alright I feel like that's fantastic.
I'm not going to short yet.
Still not going to short.
Should have shorted.
That's okay.
I feel like there's a chance you might die soon.
One more, one more.
Okay, now I feel like that short comes in.
Oh, fair enough. That was a really good day.
The side bet is going to cost me $9,000, unfortunately.
But if both had hit, oh, that would have been fucking crazy.
Still, still a really good day. 17 grand up.
up. Okay, now with no consultants, we go to the low volatility. We still want to trade
a little bit, but we want to go low volatility. And let me see. Published book of poetry,
argued with co-workers. They're all events. Okay, bro, just to have some fun, I'm going
to say you're going to argue with your co-worker at some point. Now, who do I like? Let's go
Let's go with LaTisha on this one.
Establish a position early, but don't get married to the position yet.
There's no need.
Visit a museum?
You sell over the line, you buy under the line.
It's that simple.
Okay, we're way under the line.
I'll add two to that.
further under the line, I add two more. Huge. Ignored evacuation order, no sweat. We have
strategy we're sticking to it. Sounds crazy, we buy on that.
We buy more, they're still healthy. Buy a little more.
You're giving me this price?
I'm buying the whole time.
I'm buying all the way up.
Served it.
Shoot, catch it.
Oh, serve.
That's dry.
Oh.
One more.
Burned by Miningfall.
We sell really quick.
Laser during commute.
Not as good, but I only have two shares at the end.
They're good.
Can you, everyone wants to see the big swings.
Our risk management was really good.
As they got older, we didn't want to hold a bigger position.
Did not argue with Co-Work.
You're kind of devastating.
Big loss, I'm afraid.
It was kind of the worst.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say you don't really know what risk management is,
which is based to not know, to be fair.
Long position stock value will reach 4,200 maybe we'll live to be 83 years old urinates
on public transit yeah yeti we know we know yeti position stock value will reach 4,270
you don't get it you're treating it like a real stock market no I'm not bro this will
If this if I was treating this like a real stock market, I would just buy every day and never sell
You have no idea what the game is and you have no idea what the stock market is
You don't even know how to chat. So you're over three right now
239 am I on I'm on steak times five
So there's a there's a decent chance your odds are gonna dip low
I'm taking a fucking flyer on this one
230 man, we can't go that deep
I'm going in for 7500 on this
And I'm buying under I'm buying under 750 it's that simple
No, I mean with that event, okay, we buy huge, we buy huge there.
It might never go, it might never go that low again.
Sell one, sell one and hold.
Lost home to flood.
I mean again.
Not buying off that.
big deal. Burned books at Raleigh. I thought that could be a negative. Donated a charity.
Donated a war effort. I'm shorting. I think you're going back down. Huge. Okay, continue
the trends. Lost home to flood. Just a little bit more. Not yet. Not yet. Clear debris from
not I hold on that because they could die. Okay, that's why they're going to sell me
out at 800 I can live with that. I'm not touching this shit you're 70 years old
and unwell.
And at any moment you could pass away.
I gotta buy one.
There you go. We got 1-3-3-7. Did you see that? Yeah. Oh. Not a whole lot of money,
but considering you don't know where the chart's gonna go, I can live with that. Oh,
Oh, I thought that was a top I thought we won on that one
Still no, I mean well, this is fucking crazy, bro
We we got to take the feast or famine sore or plummet with little in between
We have to take a chance on it
High chance that you suck
Really good chance that you could go to the moon. I'm sorry boys. I'm all in
All right, holy shit, it's fucking zooming
Not even sweating that if the life life and this is feast or famine
Promoted at parents company. I'll keep it going. It was like 6,000 right our sidebeds 6,000
start selling in the fives holy shit unload I'm not shorty though that they
could there's no reason they can't go higher
I mean they could live for a long time bro
Short?
What goes up need not necessarily come down, bro.
Now it did that time, which makes me look like a damn fool.
Honestly, buy and sell one share.
I should have sold after the moon, obviously.
Sold company.
Okay, I'll short on that because there's a high chance they'd die.
This could be a big moment.
Choked on Martini.
That's a death right there.
Okay.
That is what it is.
No short was paying out when you look at this chart.
side bet me 12,000 okay 12,000 was not gonna happen still 18 grand up we have consultants
again but they're expensive but that's okay entry fees are half off investments can soar
soar or plummet with little in between is exactly what we need to see bro and we don't
even care about static. We need to know the baby's value at 30 years of age. Trash. Trash.
The biggest trash you'll ever see. We had a holistic before, bros. This baby is going
to be straight up garbage. Value at, whoa, wait, hang on. Stock market will reach $15,359.
Value at $30 will be $840 to $1607. And you've got a good chance to make it. I mean, this
This is I think this is a trade on Zippa and then I think you can bet pretty big on this
on the side bet here bro like perhaps perhaps all in big on the side bet and then this we
trade on it and we says it's a 44% chance to go to 15,000.
I mean we just buy, I'm buying up the whole stock immediately.
At a minimum, we could sell or dump part of the stack at age 30.
I'm not even worried about this, it doesn't matter to me.
Feast or famine with little in between.
Well, you're not feast or famine, to be honest right now.
You're just kind of existing.
Not selling.
Not selling at the midpoint.
I think you've got a chance to get to 15, here we go!
Here we fucking go.
Sorry, volatility smooths out over time.
Stole a large diamond, literally should be a positive thing.
You're in unwell health though, passed over for promotion, just a little bit more.
Just a little bit more, because you've got to get close to 15,000.
Just a little bit more.
On wind three.
On wind three more.
be on line 3, be on line 3, paid off reporters. I hold 5 till we go to the moon. My sell price
for these final five, 8000. If I don't see 8000, I'm not selling. They're healthy again!
Okay, they're getting a little older. Oh, shit! 8000, we're out. Okay, if they get
to 15,000 then we got the side bed anyway.
Household robs.
I want to see, I know it sounds crazy, I want to see it go up.
I want to see it go up.
Healthy again too, this is crazy.
If they, if they,
if it seems like they're getting close to death, we short.
I'm not shorting here, they could live to be 200, bro.
Just sit on it.
It's been a great day.
We're 70 grand up, 70 grand.
Your side bet's on the other baby.
Oh yeah.
Still healthy bro.
9000.
Oh shit.
Yo.
Oh shit. Oh fuck.
It's getting volatile though.
We shorted 12.5.
Go in for one.
You got to know when to hold them bro.
One big at 172, 11,500 household rod, that's fine, that's fine.
Yet he can be acknowledged that you would have lost so much money on the short that
you called like back here. I'm not buying into the downtrend yet. Just a little chop
in the market. Rose 190 and healthy. This is so crazy. Just let me see that 1200. 1200
a dip in your health and I'm all in on this short.
LIVED! LIVED with the martini olive!
Chill on my goat. Chill on my goat. Obviously we're not cashing out.
Okay, boy, boy did short. No big deal. No big deal.
Look at this beautiful, I think I sold like I started to sell here, bro.
I had no faith and we were we were sold out by here, but I mean you can't be mad about
Riding it from from here to here. That's still a pretty good fucking chart for us
Holy shit
Final day
Well, I mean obviously we got to go in man each stock is worth more
Short values are raised by 100%
I mean we, you gotta, you gotta go with big stakes
It's one of you two
Shorts are raised by 100%
Fuck risk management bro
30% low accuracy. Holy fuck. Lives to 199 years old. I'll take the under on that
one. 14,000 to 17,000. 520 to 2450? This is a short and a half, bro.
Okay, if I'm being honest, what do I like for side bets?
I'll be straight up with you, bro.
I think that you're a puss if you don't at least put 12 grand on a 4% chance.
Your value is going to be straight ass, 5'11 to 24.50.
We trade on you because shorts are worth a lot.
We trade on Jett.
Short at any point over 5'11", 24'50".
We can buy and sell a little in the meantime.
Not a ton, but a little.
I don't know how long a short...
Oh shit, you basically fucking suck, bro.
Well, I'm not gonna short you here.
Your life fucking sucks.
One more up, one more up.
Binge TV show should put you all the way up, bro.
One more up.
Passed over for promotion.
I can't show you, I can't show you here.
I think your life's gonna suck.
We have to short at 25.
If they ever see 2500 again, you're short.
Short the shit out of it.
And buy under 1250.
Household rob, that's huge.
12.50 we buy big. We can trade on the volatility.
They're gonna die. Get out of the position. Saved. Huge short.
Unbelievably good short opportunity. It doesn't matter. You're gonna die or your life's gonna start to suck.
Not even sweating it. You're going to pass away.
Could use some help here
Could use a little bit of help
Help me Jen
Okay, okay, okay saved it was a bad day we lost 10 grand but
There was a there was fallacious reasoning our reasoning was I was like I'll just short it above the
30-year
average price
But it just pretty much immediately like
Was below that the whole time
All right, well actually we lost 22 grand kind of sucks, but we did win a trophy at least
What do you do invest in a volatile fast-changing market with restraints of a conservative fund their job is to suffer
Eight percent isn't enough
Despite the impressive consistent standard established by the financial planners at Holman and Spons,
their largely elderly clientele demands to benefit from the baby trading boom they now regularly see on the news.
Frustrated the head partners tasked with disgraced recruit Holmit Miski with testing the waters of the volatile new market.
We're buying baby ETS.
It's that simple.
You cannot invest in side bets. Okay, fair enough. Babies have 50% normal health.
Stocks are 50% their normal value, entry fees are 200x.
Investments are short-lived and dramatic.
Investments are cheap and highly volatile.
of the baby will live the 45. Those the worst moment in a baby's life. Those the average
price of a baby. I mean, average price of a baby is really big. You have the highest
average price. I would also, it stings, but I'd love to know if they'll live to 45. We'll
live to 45. Let's trade on that bro. 613 and a thousand. So close to a thousand. Just don't
be a fool. Not even worried about that. I'm not buying above the average price. It's that
simple. In fact, we should short above the average price. One more. One more bad one.
Big plays. I'll go in on that. I'll go out. I'll go out on one. I'll go out on two. 12.50.
yourself. No short yet. I want to see if I can get 2,000 I'd be very comfortable with
a short. That's an all-in moment right there. Not even sweating it, just be patient. They're
going to make it to 45. They're still healthy. Excellent. You know what? We go all in on
this still hope we buy again they haven't spent much time over they're gonna
the fucking guy get out of there
just give me a big one I couldn't click sell I couldn't click sell short short
short yet in one world would you short under the average price
They were going to die.
The death gives you zero.
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
You don't win when they die.
You get zero when they die.
You don't lose either.
Why would you take on risk for no premium?
Ben Felix, help me Ben Felix.
Help me Ben Felix, save me Ben Felix.
It's no risk, there's no risk.
What if they don't die and the price goes up 15%.
They don't get it man, they don't fucking get it.
Investments steadily trend upwards.
That sounds good, man.
Investments steadily trend upwards.
And we get the length of the longest upswing.
What the fuck am I going to do with longest upswing?
Buy early, sell out at age 27.
It's that simple.
I'd love to buy more.
I can't but I'd love to.
This is going to be a big one.
This is going to be fucking huge.
Obviously I'm not going to sell.
Because the longest, absolutely, keep it going.
Keep it going just a little bit longer.
Oh fuck.
Shorda, Shorda, but you're the one that actually shored faster.
Marooned in the Crimson Wilds.
I think I waited too long to show
if they're gonna die too early.
Okay, we still, we actually kinda went up.
We had a pretty good day to be honest,
but we could have made a lot more money on that planet.
That planet could actually be huge.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go again.
speed will change randomly entry fee is less
same planet
you meet longest upswing
again twenty one twenty six sixteen twenty
we want we want a baby that peaks early
like hammy from the first species
and then as soon as you hit like
fifteen or sixteen you short because they they go down catastrophically
by its it's automatic
by an insanely early
holy shit and then so we sell out at fifteen and short
okay now we just
if they hate them let me watch the money pile up
deployed on front lines is good now
landed malfunctioning aircraft okay fantastic promoted on battlefield
maybe you could pass away
designated as new general
so i'm looking dead
experience devastating strategic loss
one more of them
found candy stash!
great
great my fucking play oh my god oh my god my fucking play
upswing doesn't mean age it means
It's just a period.
Okay, so you're saying, oh, so you want a longer, longest upswing.
It's not based on their age.
Okay.
That makes way more sense.
Anyway, this short is going to save us.
Sometimes all you need is one missing piece.
Make it short of a volatile asset.
That's fine.
Not a good day for us to be honest.
Tammy it's not your fault.
I didn't understand what I was doing.
At least you don't have to pay the consulting because the company went out of business.
Everything's 300%.
I mean, we can't afford to fucking trade, bro.
I think we got to, we want lava planet,
lava planet, cause it's high volatility,
cheap and highly volatile.
That's where we want to be.
And then,
and then,
knows if it will live to 45.
Average price of a baby.
I think we want both. I'm going to give 17%. We'll not live to 45. We'll live to 45 with
a higher price. We'll live to 45 lower price. We'll not live to 45 a very low price. I
I think we want bitty.
You buy big early because you're way below the average.
You're still way below.
The longer we spend below, the happier
we are to wait for it to be a little bit above. Like right now, what's my sale
price? $2,000.
Coming slightly down.
Say back to $2,000.
That's a shell in a short.
I'd say we're around the average right now.
Around the average, we don't act.
Probably a little bit above the average.
Oh, coming down a little lower, daddy.
Yes!
It's still coming down more. I'm not selling.
Caught crying. See, I knew it was coming.
Okay, we definitely can't act on this. We can't act on this. It's going to be too high.
I mean, this is another short. It's been way too much time up here.
But we can't buy it because they're going to die.
I'd love to just click the short button once and maybe they'll live.
They spend way way way just live just live cuz the ad they had I know they have to live longer cuz the average is
We're way above the average now. They're not gonna die
fuck
Head cracked by machinery
Still a pretty good day all things consider I do have to give up 20% of my profits though
Still 7600 off the top.
We kind of got to do the same thing, bro.
I don't really care if the interface is static.
Yeah, I mean, we'll live the 45 I want to see average price of baby with high accuracy.
Bad crop of babies this year, I'm sorry to say bad crop of babies.
invest in Loretta. 5,200 to 7,400. You know the deal. You start low so you got to sell
way over the average. Like right now, well we rose pretty fast. Right now I would sell
like 7,500. But we hold longer than. Wipped on factory floor, not so good. So we got more
room to the upside. Little bit more, little bit more. We got way more room to the upside
unless you're dying commiserated just a little just a little more would hit the
spot sorry we hold only 38 plenty of time given small raise okay I'm out one
One more and I'm short.
That's a short and a half right there.
Huge.
And we buy at 5200, buy at the low end of the, no, no, no, buy under the average at this
point.
It's been, it's been too much time up.
You need to go way lower, bro.
They're trolling me.
I can't even see what's going on.
My shorts ticking and I can't see what's going on.
Devastating.
One more bad event.
It is what it is.
It is what it is.
A number of times they've died right after it would have voided my fucking short.
Ten grand up. I don't know if we're winning any trophies, but we're doing something. I think you just if it ain't broke don't fix it, bro
We got a we got a good setup here with the consultants plus the client pays all the fees anyway, so what do we care average price will be
11,000
We'll live the 45 we'll live the 45
11,000 to 12. Okay. Yeah
It's Ned season it's very broke
We're making Jim Kramer, bro, mad money.
I do kind of feel like Chipply playing Half Sword, though.
Like, I'm kind of leaning on just swiping left to right right now.
We should add in a little bit more strategical variance.
I mean, we sell at 11,000. It's a given.
Okay, now we have no Intel.
Acceptable short at 16 K
That's big for us. I think I would buy I would happily buy it 11. No, I would happily I'm not buying
Okay, we buy it and we buy it nine now
We buy it nine
We buy it eight and a half
It's a big one, I'm willing to hold this
That's a very nice short. I think we will I'll buy at nine. I'll go back. I'll go back to buying at nine now
Critical, sell in short.
I think they're right around the average right now.
Yeah, okay.
How do we do today?
40 grand up.
40 grand up.
We're given like 7.5k to the consultants.
Maybe 7.7k.
I can live with that.
What do you mean the strategy doesn't work, bro?
They seven of eight, they really think they're Jerry Ryan.
Each stock is where 200% is normal.
Of course we're going to fucking do this and then we're going to get up to 125 for tomorrow.
We're going to get that gold fucking trophy, bro.
It's going to happen and you just stick with the swipe left to right.
10,000.
That's good.
That's horrible. 10,000 at 13,000.
30,000 to 14,000.
Oh, and it's such a tight fucking spread, Adam.
You are the strongest link.
Did that say we'll live to 45, by the way?
Sorry, there's no way to know.
Would have been nice to pick up more down there.
Don't get me wrong.
Okay, so we sell 15,000, right now we sell at 15,000, he's short at like 18,000.
Not it's not there yet, it hasn't hit my price yet.
Until it hits my price or stays here longer, we don't short.
Okay, I think you're right in the average range slightly above the average but not not markedly so
That's a short and a half right there. That's a fucking short
It has to come down
Believe in it
Yes, it's spending way too much time above the average bro
It's the greatest day of my life. It needs more time below the average.
Oh, I should have fucking cashed out. I should have fucking cashed out. Fuck.
Devastating. I don't think we have enough to do 125X. Maybe on another planet.
No, it's still too expensive Oh, you can 125x on no, you can't no you can't
You know, oh, but you can on this but you can't afford to do anything else
I
Mean I'm just gonna
keep doing what's been working. 1600 is a damn joke. 6000 is a joke. Oh my god the
babies fucking suck bro. The babies are so ass man. Um this is terrible.
All right, give me 6,000 to 8,000 baby
huge and then try to try to trade on the volatility bro like obviously that's a sell your way
way too f**king- let me short right now let me f**king short
oh no no that's still short it's still shorted on 10
I'm I'm it's f**ked up wait this is awesome
this is the greatest day of my life let's just stay there for a little longer
that's still pretty good please please please I'm free
That's still a big sale, okay we're making lots of money today.
I would still sure I'd like to see it go up one more time, that's not gonna happen, then
we were content.
We'll just hold.
Under the average, I feel like we do need to spend some time under the average.
That's too low though.
Little more.
Whatever.
No big deal.
Okay, I'm selling out.
I want to see a big, big shot.
I want to see a big shot to the upside right now.
I'll buy in the 3Ks.
If you get down there, I buy.
That's that simple
And this these are huge buys you're one-third of the average price
Holy shit
Greatest QTE in my life
Still good critical just give me give me the cash out. That's all I ask
All I ask is you get me to cash out. We probably need to survive one more event
That's all right still 135k still a good day
Even if you're selling out keep one you've already made enough that it's playing with the house's money
Yeah, but bro is not worth as much as
As the prices not worth as much to me as that is what they want to buy it for
That's me exactly that's my money
We got a fucking trophy are you kidding me
Slash marker me slash marker the space warlord baby trading simulator
Legislators responsible for regulating a market cannot participate in that same market.
Or can they?
Thoughts on the top 10 sexiest Canadian cities tier list?
I didn't see it.
I don't subscribe to Maxim.
With the economy as it is, I had to cut my Maxim Canada subscription.
What was number one?
I'm going to say Thunder Bay, Ontario.
Victoria, BC.
Much love to everybody on the island.
It's definitely not Thunder Bay.
Have you ever been there?
Because I haven't.
Really no hands is now trading on your behalf, but trading through a proxy is significantly
slower.
I see.
I see.
What was our...
When we have like extra, we know what's happening in the market, right?
So wouldn't we want a lot of volatility or at least to know the average price or something?
Investments?
Okay, well, here's my thinking, bro.
If they soar or plummet, then we should know because we have insider information.
That makes sense to me.
Lives to over 69 years old.
You know what?
I'm in for that.
I don't understand what your advantage is.
I get that you're trading through a proxy.
That's bad, but what's the good?
It was a lifespan with low accuracy.
Hang on.
We'll live between 29 and 82, I've decided I'm out on that one.
A positive of baby's life will be with high accuracy.
You're going to have a horrible life, sorry, sorry hyperdrive, you're going to have an
amazing life you're gonna have an incredible life you're gonna have a
pretty good life your life is gonna be basically average well I mean obviously
I think we're going bigly in you I mean 74 to 82% to me seems like there's a
realistic chance you make it I go 50% on that and then I trade on you and I
Honestly with God as my witness fuck trying to time the market on this one, bro
I think you just buy as fast as you can
Which is very slow
And you go all in
Okay now
We got more this to me this is like a buy-and-hold situation
You're definitely not at 74 to 82 yet.
Let's call it, let's say this is 70.
Let's say 75.
80.
Not great.
Back to within the mean, I would say.
You need three good ones to compensate for every bad one.
So now we would expect a bad at some point.
Probably soon.
Attacked by wild birds.
You're still only 60 years old, bro.
I'd say you're due for a bad one again at some point.
Yeah.
Okay, now we gotta sell out.
We gotta sell out quick.
Because you could die.
Okay, that's huge.
The greatest day of my life, greatest fucking day of my life, we got out just in time, holy
cow.
Skate wars, that's a great life bro.
Now you did not reach 11,000 but that's fine.
Spent a lot on the consultants but I mean the consultants were what enabled us to make
so much money bro.
take less? We have to do consultants take less. I mean, how positive a baby's life is
is crazy. Your life's gonna suck. Your life is absolutely horrible. Your life is
horrendous. Everybody's life here is God awful. Okay. Getting in on this and then
shorting as quickly as possible does seem like a play.
All right. Is this gas or grass? Dan, I think you would love it. And I mean this,
this comparison I mean with respect, not with disrespect. It's this to invest
thing is chess to bullet chess. It's the trappings of the pursuits unburdened by any of the underlying
strategy. Essentially, you're just watching the chart, clicking buttons based on hunches,
and then going, like, bye, bye, bye, sell, sell, sell, sell, buy, buy, sell, sell, sell.
Like watch this. We know, because we paid a consultant, we know the positive events of
baby's life are going to be between 17 and 29% so they're going to suck. So what are we going to do?
I mean, let me put it this way. We're going to buy as soon as possible as much as we can because
over time the trajectory of their life is going to look like this. So you buy early,
no wait, you buy late, I'm stupid, and you short as early as possible. The trajectory of the life
is going to be like this, but I will say if I see six negative events in a row, I'm opening
a little position. I'm opening a little position. And you can also put side bets. Honestly, can
I level with you? I'm going in bigly on your stock value dropping to 680 because your one
One in four events is going to be good, bro.
Okay, and your life is going to be garbage.
All right, fair enough.
So could be one third, but even still.
You know what, in that case, take the midpoint, 46, 23%.
If I see four bad events in a row, we buy.
But we also open a short position as soon as possible.
one bad short event or one bad event two bad events that's a good one that's a
short then you short on a good any day of the week three bad one good four bad
one good one more bad I'd buy
And then I'd sell I'm not cashing out the short the next one's a 70% chance to be even worse, bro
Head cracked by machinery that's huge we buy on that
Two big buys
Oh, okay, you got to sell.
Shorted.
Maybe you'll get lucky.
Okay, save.
Okay, saved.
If I know that that magma vein was coming up, okay, that was not good.
That was not a good one.
Shorted on ten bucks?
Bro, the price can go down to a fraction of a penny, man, before it gets delisted.
And we lost the side bet, too.
We lost it should have shorted ASAP but we shorted it as quickly as we could man.
Successful side bets payout double.
I gotta take the chance.
And then how positive will the life be?
You're gonna have an insanely good life.
That's awesome for you.
You're going to have the greatest life of all time.
Your life is also going to be good.
Your life is also going to be great.
OK, well, this is fucked up, bro.
So we're definitely playing with you
and going all in as soon as possible.
I also think there's no doubt in my mind
that this bet is likely to pay out, bro.
81.92.
81.92, you literally, in my opinion,
you just hold until you get critical health.
And if you encounter a Black Swan event, so be it.
You know what, actually, you probably start to sell
on yellow health.
Because it takes a while to sell out the position.
That's bad. That's a bad thing.
Aw shit.
Well, we're still way up, but you probably do have to start selling.
whatever bro I'm not sweating that we made 81 I didn't know that the dude was a
a damn war hero, bro. What am I supposed to do with that? Well, this ain't great. What
do you offer me? Market graph goes twice as fast. My investments are cheap and highly
volatile. It's hard for us to trade off that because we trade so slow. This one, this could
work for us, man. Investments soar or plummet with little existing in between. And then
you're gonna plummet, you're gonna be in the middle, you're gonna fucking suck, bro. Okay,
they all suck. I don't think you're gonna go to 172. I think you just go in on, I mean
on tar and you short as soon as possible and pray. I mean there's a chance that you receive
Zero positive. Oh my god
They got thrown out of a window immediately I had to pay like five grand just a just a trade here, bro
Oh, what am I supposed to do with that? Oh
My god
All right, I mean we need side bets is that simple
Let me get life spam with low accuracy 113 and 183 all in. I'm afraid
Oh, never mind
Fuck you, bro
80 and 114 baby bond lived to 72 literally free money
And we know because we know roughly how long you're gonna live for I feel like we trade on you as well
I'll buy three and hold for now.
Not even sweating it.
Hottles.
Dump one.
500, we sell one more.
through ear, not good. Return to war effort. A thousand we shell our last one.
Oh, I'm clicking the, I got the wrong button, I think I got the wrong fucking button. It fucking worked.
Why shelling, he lives till 80? And what's his price going to be at 80, bro? Since you know everything.
I mean, he's critical, but we don't care.
Went into hiding, not great.
Developed gambling problem, not great.
Attended concert, for the best.
I need to start selling, or I won't have time to sell.
Hold, hold, hold for something big here.
Sell on that.
Die do a lost sense of smell bro. We got fucked
Side bed though, that's true the side bed is gonna put me up like 15 grand
That's big I
Don't think we're getting to 250 though
Although you have double side bets now double side bets anybody
Entry fees are lower. We don't want both side bets entry fees graph is upside down. I
Can't compensate for that
They'd be these sore if they don't die early, so let me get lifespans
2367 2 and 30
7 and 63 38 and 82
Okay, you're living longest.
I really don't like that side bet though.
Any chance I could get the average, uh, the positivity of your life?
Your life sucks.
Your life sucks.
Your life sucks.
Your life is pretty good.
I'm making a play on you.
And to be honest, I'm going to, I'm going to take this bet crazy as this bet may seem.
If we want to get a trophy, we got to go crazy.
And if the events are likely to be good you buy as early as possible hold as long as possible
Where do we sell?
You got to start unwinding the position. Oh fuck
soon
I'm gonna say you start unwinding the position at age 40
Because it takes us a while
Still very healthy.
Would really really love to see them, oh fuck.
Dude we're so due for good events.
More.
That's good.
Still good.
Three shares I hold.
Still healthy I hold.
a little 60 we hold I'm sold out I'm sold out and I'm relying on the on the
bet now go to 72 70 Oh shit short nothing you go wrong well nothing can go
right now that I think about it but
nice I'm I I need to stick to my guns on the short the short is so funny man
people know he's going to die you might as well short and then knowing that
when he dies the short goes to zero anyway it's like why we're clicking the
button just to click it
Okay, that was sick 34,000 up.
You don't know when he dies.
I knew he died by 82, bro.
It could drop as well, man.
So if it goes up, you lose nothing because if it will die, you don't listen.
I know as what it applies as long as you can hit the cash out button before the guaranteed
death date.
That's the intersection point.
So I'm with you on that one, because then, as long as you can still cash out, you can
choose not to if it's in the red.
Okay, I see what you're saying.
Old ass, whatever bro, your favorite Bob Dylan album is Desire.
I don't need to treat you like a serious person.
Well, you know, I do kind of care about successful side bets.
The volatility is hard to play with here, but let me see, do we have any age side bets?
We don't.
In that case, give me quality, 45 to 51, 35 and 46.
Hard to trade off that, bro.
This is nasty.
I mean, I feel like it's very unlikely that you're going to hit that, what do you got,
$26.34, $26.34, $35.46 dropping to $6.44.
One thing I would love to see is like, what's the current fucking strike price, bro?
Is there any way, there's the way to see it on the previous screen, I don't know if you
can see it on this one. Nobody knows. Okay, everyone's talking about other chatters.
Nobody knows. I mean, fuck it. The only way we win a trophy is to go all in here. And
And then hope that it's closer to 35 than 46.
And then, I mean, taking Todd, Todd is the worst baby in the Sophie.
We know this to be true.
And then shorting as soon as possible and hoping you make some money off this.
Four negative events in a row and I buy.
No, no buy.
No buy is built in here.
Big short.
Wait, say that again.
Rock kind of a good item though. Bro this is fucked up you're supposed to have one
in three good events at max. Let me see some fucking catastrophes. Catastrophic,
absolutely catastrophic. They had two good events in a row. Well fuck it bro,
you're fucking dead, you died of a backfissure at age 43 after ruining my fucking life.
I lost all well, you know what my side bet my side bet could still come through because it was on an uncorrelated asset
Yes, I
Still don't think we get a trophy, but it's kind of like you know
Saves you a little bit. Oh we get one more day
Stocks worth 200% side bets side bets pay out more side bets pay out more than I'm all in
Easy I
See short position short position and this is beautiful. Okay quick one
Positive a baby's life will be
2735 pretty good bet wait, I can't even afford a single side bed, bro
Oh, uh, lifespan with low accuracy, 76 and 109, 39 and 81.
Well, obviously we're not, we can't fucking bet on that anyway.
Let's, we need a baby with a long lifespan.
76 and 109 with bad events, but not that bad.
33 and 92.
Fuck it.
We ball by late by late.
on this baby. Two bad events and I'm in. That's big. Will we sell? Yeah, sell after a good
one and then buy after three bad ones. That's one. Fucking short, bro. Short that baby.
That's two. That's three. We buy. Still healthy too. Sell one. Quick, sell one. Sell another.
you're still up big fuck one more event one more event no no we were good to
catch out oh it's okay stay alive stay alive so so you're fucking stock bro
yes okay stay up stay up so I can click the button way up here okay this is
big don't die don't fucking die you could bring me back
I'm so far down. I'm not cashing out until I see myself in the green. I
Need more bro. I need a horrible event. I mean, oh my god, you're fucking like this so fuck up
Eight without YouTube minus 50,000
Fuck you, bro now die
Head cracked my machinery fucking dead
Way to go, bro.
37 to 46, you fucking lying ass dog.
You would be a fool to try to deceive a dog.
The dog fucking deceived me, bro.
Continue.
Yeah, I fucking lost.
Yeah, I fucking lost.
I lost so bad I have to go pee.
I'll be right back.
you
you
you
Alright, we're so back.
I'm caught in a vicious psycho, man.
My voice is hoarse.
So I drink water, but then the water makes me have to go pee.
I guess going pee is not a bad thing in a vacuum.
just kind of like it's annoying to go pee a lot on stream because I don't want to
pee every 21 minutes because it'll screw up the YouTube video but I guess
it's not that big of a deal.
We're back y'all. We're gonna make this one work. Yes I'd like to restart this
campaign absolutely.
Really, no hands is trading on your behalf.
I know, bro.
Babies start with 150% their normal health.
You know what?
That's kind of interesting.
Investments can soar as long as they don't die.
I feel like you want this one with higher stakes, and then you want to see life spans,
even if it is low accuracy.
71 and 131 I think I'm all in I think that's a mispriced bet bro
You're gonna live 73 to 137
53 and 118 I
Mean all in is kind of crazy
You probably want to do some bankroll management, but I think it's this heavily mispriced bro
I'm willing to go in at about 50% of my stack here and
Then who do I want to trade on I mean to be honest with you do I want to go on I give up anything more?
All in and hold R. I mean you could just roll a dice if you want to play a rogue like like that, but
It's gonna be you do you
I'm gonna I'm gonna take a look 38 to 43 your side bed is not gonna work, bro
50 and 56 we don't really care
46 53 we don't really care 40 and 47 these all pretty much suck to be honest
Honestly, I'm going to trade on this 50-50, baby, and I'm going to do a very simple strategy.
We sell after a good event, and we buy after a bad one, even though it's very slow for
us to do this.
Whatever we wait.
We wait.
actually so real that's a big short we need to regress to the mean we buy after
a bad one we sell after a good one parenting v-logs should be a negative
lost rights to own likeness we buy crash hubbersky cash out buy good event sell
2. Child became famous. Sell and hold.
Two bad events we buy. That's big. One more.
I'll buy again. They're not gonna die soon. Okay, that's a really bad I buy.
I buy again. I don't give a fuck.
sell and sell and sell dead oh shit our side bet's gonna pay off big bill right
oh no didn't they need to make it to 82 oh they only made it to 78 not even close
bro oh my god devastating hold R I don't live my life like that again if you
You just want to be like, the goal is to roll a 200, start rolling the dice, bro.
Here part of the fun is the emerging gameplay of trying to dig yourself out of a hole.
Consultants take half their cut.
That's actually big for a beast like me.
Can we even afford, it's 25, yeah, well, it's 250, oh shit.
don't really want to trade on that. Comfortably swing high and low. Entry fees
are 50% off. They soar in value as long as they don't die.
71, 116, 58, 134, 6 and 62, 68, 124.
Honestly, I'm going to go pussy mode.
83.
I can't even afford to do a side bet.
I'm going to go 71.
71-116 no I'm gonna go I'm gonna go 58 to 134 I'm gonna I'm gonna get a little
risking I'm gonna take a lower floor and a higher ceiling
bad event enormous enormous start and then just buy in as much as you can this
is huge because investment as long as they live investment store in value
bro as long as they live is a rough childhood here it comes mid-age Renaissance right after
the sunburn. Well here's the thing you haven't stored in value so I think you're
gonna live longer. I need to see more.
Okay I've seen I've seen some more. Ah even more. Done well I'm chilling.
critical we got to go critical you got to sell out I'll live with what I got
there
greatest sell out of all time holy cow
so neither short is kind of a kill switch all right day three I'm almost back
they even it's not so bad side bets I do like side bets pay out more man I'm sorry to say
and I'm a big believer in this 38 to 44 percent good 55 to 66 percent good 47 to 54 percent
it's giving us no alpha bro can I tell you something with 51 to 63 I think you're hitting
that. You're hitting that to the extent that I'm willing to go in as much as I can. And
then 55 and 66, we trade on that and buy early. I'm going to take a little chance. I'm going
to take a little chance. I'm going to hope that you have a negative event first and I'm
going to buy. Huge. We get a chance to buy in at the price we should have bought in at.
You actually should just be spamming the buy.
This is the greatest day.
It's the greatest day of my life.
Keep buying.
Because they're not even close to 55, 60, 66, so a return to the mean is built in here.
No, not yet.
Achievement for playtime.
That's a good sign for your game.
Now we sell out.
Short.
Holy, Chiblia's gas.
Where the hell is Bungalow, bro?
Is that Italy?
I'm not cashing out. Go low. Go low. Disassociation? That's bad! That's bad!
Bell breeze on face. Whatever. Whatever. Bad short. Life goes on.
Goodbye on that.
Just hold. Be short again. You're gonna die eventually.
Why am I shorting something that goes up between 55 and 66% of the time, bro?
That's not smart that's not a smart idea. Oh my god, they're on a fucking run, bro. Oh
My god, oh
Oh my god, it could have been worse I guess.
I'm buying in after two negative events.
Oh my god, the beach that makes you disassociate is taking them to the moon, bro.
I don't think there's a good reason to short, to be honest with you.
This is how people who sold their stocks, like in March, feel right now.
they're like what the fuck I can't buy in bro
I mean you gotta trade on it a little bit
but we're basically making a bet on a coin flip
but the coin is in our favor
oh shit
fuck it we ran
fuck it I'm all in bro
whipped for being too old I'm selling out I'm scared
I'm scared
let me see some negative events let me see some negative events hold I want
more no no you can't die from that you can't die from that unless we we left
two grand on the table that's nothing bro no big deal shit baby I hate to see
like a 50 50 chance of positive and negative bro I throw away 18% for no
reason investments soar as long as they don't die I think this is our meta man
And then you find out their life expectancy, they're all fucking suck.
They're all horrible.
Bad babies.
I think you buy early and do your best.
Here's the thing, one more.
We don't want to sell-outs, well actually we're way up.
I think you do want to start selling out for an exit around age 55.
So at age 40 we start clicking the sell button.
start to exit a little early just a little and slowly that's fine we still
sell the strategy doesn't change now it does because they're uncritical huge huge
huge huge okay god I'll just did just in time just it that's why you make your
strategy before you see the flashing lights
It's gonna take us a minute to get to this trophy though.
I do I do like this strats all events with 200% severity as long as they're weighted
to the upside severity is good for us bro.
Let me see quality of life.
37, 47, 39, 50, 55, 66, this is the homey right here.
59 and 70, okay, one second.
How long are you gonna live, bro?
29 and 65.
One 10 and 149, this is the fella, bro.
This is the fucking fella.
It's indigo by a mile, slightly worse ratio of events,
but like double the lifespan.
Now, are you gonna make it to 122?
Honestly, I don't think you take the side bet on it.
The reason is, I think we just wanna,
why this is lower alpha than just buying early and holding?
Your, I would love to take the under on this one.
57, 122, weird, there's no way for us to know.
37, 47, we'll drop to 492.
I'll give you one bet on that.
I can live with one bet on that.
This we just buy and hold.
Guys, I'm phoning my husband and asking him
to buy the stocks as fast as possible.
Okay, this is beautiful.
Holy shit, 110, 149.
I think we're gonna make so much money on this.
Just make sure you're out by 115.
As long as you're out by 115, life's good.
Cap the upside a little bit to not have to worry
so much about the downside.
We don't sell.
There's no shot we're selling.
He's got 80 years before he could possibly be out
and it's a coin flip in the best direction possible.
Huge.
I mean, two thirds coin flip, we take those.
Cold.
Not even worried about it.
We're not trading on volatility.
We're taking a safe play.
Not even a problem.
I'd say you start start selling out at 95
We've only got four to sell oh
Shit oh shit
Big what who cares by the way you guys wanted me to sell it at 30,000. Can we can we discuss this?
You know, we don't sell on it on a downtrend like that
Release the album. That's big. Pull me back.
Okay, I got greedy and I held one into death.
Can I say something? They didn't make it to 100.
Can I say something? They didn't make it to 100.
Oh, they died on the day! They died on the fucking day!
You can't be mad about that. That's like having a 96% chance to win a hand.
chance to win a hand and then losing on the river, bro, you got you got to nut up and
take that chance a little bit.
Okay, still is still a pretty good day.
And we won the fucking side bet.
I'm going to the fucking moon.
Well to be honest with you, I'm loving this, but the graph is upside down.
I do not care.
I do not care if the graph is upside down.
Can't place any side bets unfortunately, but still know how positive the life will be
and then know how long the life will be.
Long shitty life.
Normal great life.
shitty life, normal normal life. It's gonna have to be normal good life. You can play
side bets. Yeti, Magresta, you've wanted permission for this for a long time.
Get behind me Yeti. I'm just saying, you could just buy the game, you don't know the mechanics.
If you bought the game and you know the mechanics, then you could type that, but you can't just
be typing it on nothing.
I'm pushing Yeti to the front.
Chibli, all ban Yeti permanently if you ban Malumyn SE permanently.
We could do like a prisoner exchange.
Lamal, let me see if they're here.
It's funny to ask you to do that because they haven't been banned from Machia yet.
me see they haven't typed today wait what's today today's a third no they
haven't typed today
last thing they it's so funny bro last thing they typed was I got banned from
Dan Chat for saying fuck the American military if this is your first time
hearing about Maluma and SE you might wonder what my beef with them is that's
it completely unrelated to that message my they've got a history okay a history
of stuff that is, in my opinion, a little bit out of character with the tone of the
last message that they just wrote. Hang on, I gotta develop a strategy. It's an easy strategy.
It's exactly the same strategy. Buy as much as you can as early as possible, and then
sell as close to death without running the risk of losing your principle. So we want
see the line go under the we don't see the graph go under the line here huge 73 and 115 I'm chilling
still chilling
Unwell bro they're making it to 73 so I'm so we start selling at 55
I'll sell a little early because we've had a string of good events
Hold hold a little longer I'll sell at 61 and then I'd love to sell as close to 73 as possible
We get out, okay, because you never know.
And they're living until 115.
I think if they live longer, we start the short at age 89 to get free upside.
Okay, here we go.
Totally acceptable.
We were trying to get a free lunch.
They said we're all out of free food today.
Okay, we go to the next restaurant, no big deal.
Chiblee, do you deal with this in your chat too?
They don't understand the short.
Taking out a short and it going to zero is good.
That's a good thing when it's not going to zero
but getting voided.
Chiblee doesn't understand the short.
Chiblee, you not understanding the short
has informed, misinformed your chat
as the purpose of the short.
And they're fucking me.
They're fucking me because they don't understand.
You didn't understand that like 10 minutes ago?
Yeah, but now I do.
So what's your excuse?
Chat knows that if they type short,
I will instantly press it and lose all my money.
Okay, well there is that.
I understand that, don't get me wrong.
And I'm sticking with the same strat.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
This is Bogleheads, bro.
50 to 93, probably not a good candidate.
43 and 112, that's fucked up.
I don't know what to think about that.
58 and 63, you're gonna die in no time.
53 and 61, fuck, bro, this is a disaster.
These are horrible babies.
I think we trade on Olga on this one.
We trade on Olga.
We buy early, try to get out early, but we're probably going to have to take on some risk.
Hold.
I mean, it would be huge if, you know what, 53.61, one more good event.
No, okay.
Two good events in a row we sell.
I'm willing to.
One cell.
That's fine.
All right, this is right.
I should have.
You know what?
You're actually due for a short, if I may.
I'd like to cash this out.
This is huge.
Cash, cash me out.
Just cash me out.
Okay, that was a surprisingly good short.
You die between 51 and 114, sell and sell.
Oh my God, my profit's negative $115,000.
No, my profit, my profit is, I broke even!
Okay, we take a risky short.
Because they could live and we could get washed out
on this, okay, no sweat.
Okay, well that was a fucking waste of a day, bro.
but a waste of a day is not that bad as long as we can stay above 250 to get the
trophy
because we're like all we need to do is have like a thousand tomorrow I think
you just stick with exactly the same strategy all I would I would even lower
the stakes a little bit so that I can place some side bets if we find some
free money like if your lives suck we're gonna get some free money out of this
3445 6776 holy fuck how long are you gonna live 44 and 88 years 27 and a hundred and
five years this is still worth a buy in my world honestly if I'm being dead ass with
you go on this one for a little bit of hedging 1250 I forget what you start at
and take a little hedging right there and then we go for and just buy huge
unbelievably huge purchase. I'm all in. I just sell out before the age of 44 we
can't lose.
Hang on, I'm locking in.
Big whoop.
We sell again.
Spreading a sexual disease, a negative for sure.
Planting a garden bed, definitely a positive.
Hmm.
Ah, sell, sell!
I forgot you were gonna die.
Now if you make it to 70, it's a free short
far as I'm concerned. Especially the higher you go here. Beautiful. Kill
switch engaged. All we got to do ideally if we get cash out by 88 or just hold
hold until you die.
They're about to die.
Yeah, okay, fair enough.
Risk-free short, bro, risk-free short.
And we won the fucking side bet.
That's huge.
Need 1.5 million for the next one though.
Easy as money in my life, bro.
Last guy, Wengrave Shop.
Leading credits after pivoting her corporation
to investing in the baby market.
She decides to solve baby training once and for all.
10 million dollars.
You cannot visit alone shark. I haven't visited alone shark a single time so that doesn't bother me
And we have only this is the real mode, bro. We have access to all planets
We start with 200 grand. Holy fuck
Cheap and highly volatile I
I do like the idea of cheap and highly volatile and maybe starting at 125x and then if you'll
excuse me, certainly feel like lifespan is worth an 18% cut and then I'll pay, I mean
And this is a big cut, man.
24 and 35% positive, 34 and 44% positive.
Okay, well, I'm gonna start you with something.
Your life is gonna be horrible.
So that's free money as far as I'm concerned.
Now, who are we trading on?
I honestly think,
I think you go, I mean, you're a great short opportunity if we could get the short out
in time to actually cash it out.
But I'm also interested in this one, knowing you're definitely going to live long enough
for us to get a short out.
I know it seems crazy, but we paid like 125 grand just to get here, okay?
So I think you'd go with longer lifespan, more time to short.
You definitely don't buy after good on this one.
No, no, no, this is a zero buy situation.
Absolute easy.
The fact that you're going up when I could short you is awesome.
This is fantastic news for me.
Hold.
One more bad one.
Apparently that's bad.
This is the greatest day of my life. I sell immediately.
And buy one.
I bought two by accident. I apologize.
Sell them both.
Another short, it could happen.
54 to 84.
What a beautiful dress. Give me one more positive.
Kiss for the first time.
That's a short in this house. I'll take my chances.
Go big or go home.
Coin flip me. D3 me. Huge.
I'd happily cash out with any profit or you can die.
Oh, just a little bit more though. Just a little bit more. Failed to save
from rock slide I'm cashing out oh yes what a fucking day the lifespan was it
My their death span determines my lifestyle
We lost I thought I thought that was a given bro still 341 up I can take that
Minus we lose 50,000 credits a day just an interest or something. Well, I think in that case
we don't want to trade on volatility then we want it. I've been blue planet has been awesome for us
bro blue planet and then get a lifespan 4566 8699 8699 is looking mighty nice baby lives to be
over 49 years old I'd probably go all in on that unless we got better odds on a
guarantee somewhere else so that's that's beautiful and then I mean I'd
still probably give up 15% to know the quality of life bad average bad okay so
So that's 15% down the drain.
What do I think in this case then?
In this case, you're shortable, but I'm not insanely confident at 49.76.
Ambush but paparazzi stock.
I don't think your stock value is going to drop that much.
I don't think your stock value is going to drop that much.
Honestly, I think you trade on Sterling.
And you just try to get the, you play the same short strategy.
But you got to be fast with it.
For now, we do nothing.
Yeah, the side bets are given.
Two bads, I buy.
Short on that, okay
We can get a big just one more negative event would go so okay, okay two negative events in a row
There's one let me get one more
Diving to malfunction that's really bad
Should I freaked out I shouldn't assault so fast we buy I
Knew it. I fucking knew it. We would do
Yep, that should kill you.
Okay, whatever.
We had some fun playing the game and then also our side bed is going to go to the moon.
$1.8 million, fuck you.
So I don't see why, oh mine is a hundred, our costs double every day!
And we don't even give them to the next guy?
I think we want to stay on 125X for now and just see if we can get some free side bets.
202 years old is fucking crazy bro.
151,173, we should be so lucky.
and then quality of life?
50 to 62, 50 to 56, 44, 53, 43, 50.
I mean, this is crazy.
It's gonna be a little volatile, man,
but like in the long run,
and the run has never been longer,
you're gonna go down.
Especially if you go, I think it's got to be short play on the guy with the longest
life or you try to long play Trey, but yeah, I mean, and I don't think I've, you know what?
Just put a hundred grand on a couple of side bets, a couple of side bets that could come
through in the clutch for us.
Give it a chance.
Because I think otherwise it's going to be a pretty light day.
So I think we got to put some side bets just to get a little
bit of upside potential.
Go down.
Go down.
Go down early.
Huge.
I buy on that.
And then I sell on that.
And then the short at the fucking top.
Oh, and then just lock it in.
One more negative event we buy.
I'm not selling the short yet.
Definitely not selling the short.
Go down, go down.
Successful training session.
Fuck you
Lost Emancipation lawsuit
40,000 is nothing to a beast like me, bro
Still healthy
We're like we're even today released album. No, I don't know we chill. It's a drop in the damn bucket
I'm gonna make a play
Should have shorted, bro. We got lots of time. Wait for a fucking uptrend.
Wait. Wait for it. I want to see one more.
Huge okay sell everything in short
That's a dub
Pull me back here. Pull me back. Pull me back. Pull me back. Pull me back. Pull me back
Fuck it's fucking table stakes, bro
whatever it's more room to go down later ah shit cash out get higher get even
higher more I want to see more not at all more on the upside okay we'll fucking
buy on negative events for now I'm not sure to get I want to see more I want to
you go to the fucking moon. Give it a sec. Give it a sec. To the moon. To the moon.
That's fucking the moon. That's the moon right there. I'm selling out. This has to be the
one. Devastating. Catastrophic event please. One more one more
catastrophic event. Fuck you. Why do you cash out early? Because we can maybe fit in one
more short before they die. Not looking great though. Let me click it. Let me click the
button. It's the only thing that could save us. Survive. Survive. But also have a horrible
life. Please let me guess more a million times more. I need more. I need a lot more. We gotta
hold it. Oh, I knew it, but I know something I can do about it. My side bets, my side bets
though my my 4 and my 6% side bets
oh no no no no no no I must visit the loan shark y'all one side bet can change
everything. A toothpick changes everything. Shabby, let's slash marker we go again.
My strategy works if I don't get desperate. Unfortunately, I got desperate. Also, if I'm
being honest, there were no blue chip babies in the stable that time. There were no blue chip babies.
we start here we want to see yeah baby bond is a great event let me see what we got here
lifespan of a baby with high accuracy 67104 honestly 67104 171 87 86 replace a big bet
on that there's 50 grand on that 71 88 38 67 77 111 let me get let me let me pay
15% to see 57 63 still need it that's my baby right there that's my fucking
baby right there buy as much as you can as early as you can
and then just hold, easiest hold in my fucking life.
Yeah, here it comes, here it comes.
I mean, it's a 6 in 10 chance that we go up every event.
Big whoop.
Where do we start selling?
I say maybe 60 years old, start clicking the button as fast as you fucking can.
I'd like to see some more, please.
We're up bigly, bro.
We need a logarithmic view for this graph, so you can actually appreciate how fucking
up we are.
Okay, and then we're out.
to sell off a big low like that. No, keep going, keep going. That's fine. Still still
a big day. I'm going to say we don't we want to limit our downside on this one. We start
our short. Watch I watch the health first, I watch the health first. As long as health
is healthy, we're not shorting. Any short that we would okay, fair that that came out
I don't know where there's no way we could have known.
Pretty good first day and also I like our side bets to be honest.
Whatever 50 grand doesn't mean anything to a beast like me.
I'm going to go back to my room.
Exact same setup.
I had to sleep sound predatory.
Okay.
All we need to know for this one, how long, how, how positive will your life be?
49 to 55.
No shot you're making that.
No offense, my friend.
60 and 69.
19
Of course, I will pay eight no fuck it. We let it we let it fucking fly bro
You trade on this baby, and you know, I mean while you're here a hundred grand now while you're here
We do not make a side bet
Short it right off the but the problem is if it dies too fast, so we'd love to see some early upside
You still got to try just a little bit of early upside. We really hit this spot
Cash out as soon as possible, bro
Nope nevermind we're in it for the long haul
No, that's good. That's good. Okay, more more bro more
How could this happen 10 to 17 how could this happen
I'm just gonna level with you that one's fucked
Why do you short at 10k cuz it is 10 to 17 which means there's a 90 an 83 to 90% chance that the next event will be negative, bro
I'm just playing the odds
But listen, I'm not saying I understand the game mechanics a hundred percent, but you're saying look at the chart
Why would you short this that's also fucking based in heuristics you fucking moron?
That doesn't make it there's no evidence to back that fucking line of reasoning up either, bro
That's what the chart is for stick to video games, bro. Okay
Investments so okay, maybe we want to rethink our strategy here a little bit
Short-lived in dramatic smoothly up and down
Soar or plummet with little in between well, okay, you know what you can do mix it up a little bit
And then we can save on the margin by just taking positivity and negativity.
So you're going to soar in value.
It's that simple.
And then the side bets are 12,000 each.
I mean it's simple.
We put one on each side bet.
We trade on you by as early as possible.
I'm all in.
The problem is we don't know how long you're going to live.
So we have to practice a little bit more min managing, risk management.
But knowing that you're likely to have positive events 75-ish percent of the time, I mean
We don't start selling anything till 15k.
Let's put it that way.
Unwind a little.
Unwind a little bit more.
Unwind a little bit more.
Unwind a little bit more.
you know what I buy into that 30,000 we unwind a little bit more
huge
the rest the rest I'm holding till you're critical or your
50,000. We've already made our money today.
We're so due for a string of positive events bro. Here we go. Late career surge.
that's fucking big okay you got a cell
executed with fucking perfection
Absolutely beautiful. Please just one. Sure. Sure. Life goes on, bro. We were taking some
on correlated alpha 50,000 credits okay we're on 360 I like I like this soar or
plummet with nothing in between that feels swag to a guy like me I think we
run basically the same strategy bro know the quality of their life 5541 4551
I think you are gonna fall down there to be honest. I'm willing to go to on that
I'm not willing to go in on this
82,000 is very interesting bro
Here's what I'm thinking, if you live up to, if you live to 80 years old, you're going
to make this and we're going to get a 36% profit.
So we take the lives, we give up 18% to get 36, 96 in 119 years.
I can't click this button enough.
As far as I'm concerned, I cannot click on this button enough.
And then we trade on this baby's life.
We buy as much as possible immediately.
Enormous.
And you know what?
You could do some buys and sells on the way up if you want.
But I probably wouldn't do any sells if you think it's going to have a good chance to
get to 80,000.
i wouldn't sell at thirty thousand if you think it's going to get the eighty
i got a feeling it's gonna get
so one
so one get ready to read by
there's the dip
oh shit nevermind
okay
bucket i'm back in
okay that's just too much for my blood we would do for a dip
now we're talking we need more
we need more than that too
ninety six one nineteen
fuck fuck fuck
it's alright we're coming back
lost round of golf, devastating aura loss,
melted in de-aging chamber,
not ideal, publicly embarrassed by spouse.
I still believe we're coming back.
We still got 30 years left, bro.
I'm waiting for a fucking rocket to the moon.
Oh, here it comes. Give me some more.
We're not dying at 96. I'll tell you that much.
Fuck. I'm going to unwind a little bit.
Oh, that's fucking big.
That's a short in my house
Instantly regretted oh
oh
That's fine, that's fine had me to 372 up 372 up don't oh fuck we went all in on the side bed, bro
I'm in for 500 grand on the side bed
But not 250, how do we do it to 65,000?
They're taking 100 just for me being alive.
Let me run it back, you can't do that, you'll have no money.
You know the deal, bro, you know the deal.
Let me see lifespan of babies, 74, 96, we don't take those odds.
Let me see quality of life, 78 to 90, oh, okay, well one thing's for sure, one in four
events, aka we're 237 grand in on you hitting this awful number.
i'll put a rack on you getting embarrassed just for sport bro
i there's no doubt in my mind's
you go along on twister bro
and i think you do exactly the same strategies bro our bets are good our
bets are fucking good they're aggressive but they're good
and we're not gonna fuck around trying to capture some upside on the
volatility
We're gonna hold until this dude is 65 and then we're gonna sell out exact same strategy. It's a different fucking stock
You don't know what you're talking about. It's a different baby, bro
Look at that shit right there
Average strike price nine thousand we already doubled that
Okay, give me a little 65.
Life's gonna come at you fast.
That's big, bro.
That might be even bigger.
for one more. Okay, you got to start on winding. Hold, hold, hold, dump it. Hey, okay, there
were some pluses and there were some minuses. There were some pluses and there were some
minuses shit yes that's fine that's big man that that side bed the the short
Short side bed hitting is huge.
Okay, 200 grand just for existing.
It really do be your own.
Baby start with lower health.
That's going to make it harder to trade on this one, to be honest.
Swing trading, steadily trend upwards until they meet regrettable events.
Investments are short lived and dramatic.
and soar as long as they don't die.
I can live with that.
Put me here so we got side bets.
And then we need to know lifespan.
112 and 132, my fucking king, bro.
54, 88.
124, 161.
Okay, well first off this is literally 2.7 million dollars for free
I'm willing to give you a nice cut here 5156 2131 horrific
3847 I don't know. I don't know if I see your stock price dropping enough
21 31 I mean this is a this is a heavy short row to be honest chose to leave
entertainment give me give me a flyer on each of these fellas just for sport
and then I think we
79 96 I think we go we try to get as many shorts on you as possible but you
You know what I'm going to do this time?
I'm actually going to follow your advice chat.
I'm going to try to short the chart, not the asset.
But the graph being upside down is pissing me off.
So we would actually like it to be, you know what,
buy one share so we know our price.
I don't know when to short, probably early and often.
It's below our strike price, which is okay.
Okay, that's fine.
Are you right?
The graph on the right is right side up.
Cash me out on that.
I feel good about that.
Wait for another rise before we short again.
You got a long life ahead of you.
You're pretty much as low as you can get, man.
you know what you're right by a bit makes a lot of sense here
you're bound to have a good event at some it's so fucking cheap bro holy cow we
should be buying
like fill up the fucking coffers bro
and then just wait
you're going to there's going to be a positive event event and you bought the
shit dirt cheap
No, two events would go crazy.
And we're making like eight grand out of that, it's nothing.
Hit from crowds, it's nothing.
We got plenty of time, just one more positive event
would be, oh, that's fucking bad in this game.
That's right.
Come on, just one more, what, two fucking good events.
Or one more awesome event.
That's an awesome event, get shorted.
OK, that's devastating, but you're not
gonna get another awesome event, it's just not gonna happen. You're gonna decay.
It's already coming down. One more good one? Yeah, okay. I can hold, I can hold
for one more good one. Fuck you. How much time you got left? Almost none, but the
short is gonna be so fucking high. It's so good if we, if you short and live till
cash out this is gonna be awesome please please the time is so real it's
all right don't die don't die experience trauma but don't die that makes
sense you're diving to malfunction that's one of the that's one of the most
common ways to go probably
$268 up. Not too bad. No surprise there. No surprise there. Literally free money.
Okay, $2 million. What's your problem? Stocks are worth more. We need to be here still.
Let me see what kind of side bets. Okay, I love this. I love to see a side bet for 159
years of age. Not going to make it. Save me some money. Horrible life. You're not going
to make it. Beautiful life and you're living for a long time. You actually might fucking
make it bro. Your life is awesome but you die too fast. I would place some side bets
on an event happening on a long life but that's not going to happen. I think it's just got
to be you and we trade as much as possible I'm afraid. 100 grand? I mean I put 50 racks
on you making it negative event huge negative event at the start is all in
it's the greatest day of my life I don't even care
Holy shit
Holy fuck
So I can wait for another search
Unload it unload a little bit
Oh unload a little bit more
I would buy back in a little bit. I'd buy back in a lot right there
Let me see some more devastating
Don't even sweat the health bro, he's not dying till 84 at a minimum at a minimum
I hold a little bit longer let me let me see one more event I'm greedy I'm
greedy oh that's huge I don't think you're living much longer bro I short now
Now oh, it wouldn't have mattered because it was gonna get boarded but my timing was slightly off
I don't know they hit what I needed it to hit but the side bet was mostly just
Just to get a little extra juice
Still five million dollars in trading not too bad
No, no shot. No shot. I made it. That's alright
Three million up
It costs us 800,000 just to live on this fucking planet, bro.
Static interfaces, I do not give a fuck about a static interface.
Cost me a million just to play ball, see if I care, bro.
Let's check out these bets.
143.
Easy as money here.
Quality of life.
33-43, no shot.
29-40.
$29.40, a million dollars a pop, I got five on it.
I don't know if I feel comfortable about a, oh, I gotta see your life span, bro, $35.67,
devastating.
Long, oh, the long and amazing life, the long and amazing life.
Gamma Lord is living to be a centenarian with an extremely high quality of life.
I think you just try, you know what?
such a sure thing I'm putting a milli on my six percent and I'm all in and now oh
I would love to see a negative event early bro
oh bye bye bye bye bye fill it up okay and then just chill
I mean 78 to 89 just hold man
No reason to be impatient on this one at all
Holy shit strike price of a hundred and thirteen thousand
Four X we holds. I mean this is this is a 100x stock
Absolutely no reason to sell
With 70 years of runway left
Holy shit
Let me see some net worth updated let me see net worth net worth elevated
Temporarily flood plant we don't I mean bro. This is literally you have half your life left. I'm not even sweating it
Excuse me, beautiful.
Six X, we hold.
I mean when we get to a million a share, I might start to think about letting some of
it slip through my fingers, but that's about it.
I hold on this, I hold on this, and I sleep soundly at night.
I sleep so soundly.
All right, we unwind half.
That's what we wanna see!
We unwind another half.
105, dump it.
Don't short this beast yet.
Hold him for a second.
I'm shorting that, I'm shorting that 115.
Whatever, he's going to die.
Yeah, fair enough. Okay. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. I mean, this is big. This is
this is big. Why would you short on 78% positive? You you you short the chart, bro. You don't
or anything.
What?
What?
What?
Two million.
Who fucking cares, bro?
Two millions will drop in the bucket for a beast like me.
And it's only day fucking seven?
Oh my god.
I mean my costs do double every day, which is not ideal.
Okay, I don't like half health babies on this one, bro.
I gotta see something.
Investments soar as long as they don't die.
come true for a guy like me. We go life span 70, 84, 14, 30, 97, 97, 127. Honestly, I feel
so fucking comfortable. Let me see something here. I mean a million, a couple of 4%. That's
a dream come true for me. I'm not going to bet on this one just because it's 14 to 36
of age. You living forever makes this a 100% chance in my personal opinion. And then you,
who is living 97 to 127, I'll be dead ass with you, bro. I'm all in. I'm all in because
if you don't die, you soar in value. Huge. You buy a little stack on that. You buy a
little stack on that oh thank you we go all in on this okay and then we just hold
here hold here so take a little profit up here because we don't know how high the
soaring will be I mean it's got a strike price is 65 we start selling a
little bit at 200. 97 127 tons of time.
It's big. Next one, next one I want to see 500,000 before we sell any more.
45 he's got half his life left no no I want to I want to see 700,000 before I sell any
more which means I'm buying if you think you're gonna see 700,000 you buy it's that simple
more please more released album that's good alpha
to albums in your seventies i know those are good
let me see seven hundred
holy fuck okay
because the price we don't
still dumping
stings but you know we we got what we're looking for suffered sunburn at eighty
35
Positions got to be on wound bro. Hit from crowds. I'm out this beast.
Okay. Still really good. 16 million up. No, 16 million. 16 million up.
Okay. Where are we short? Right here.
It seems like your life is getting worse. That's why we short.
It's not a short for the, it's not a short for the freebie, but maybe I ended up looking like that regardless.
You always short so late and it gets voided?
Okay, but you seem to be operating under the assumption that you would short,
like, just because you think it's gonna go down.
But why do you think it's gonna go down, bro?
This baby's life has been pretty much exclusively up.
I would just short of the correct point.
Then just don't short.
They're me from holy fuck.
Holy fucking fuck.
We hit the 4%.
I'm literally better than you.
I'm longing you in every single way.
Our 4% hit, that's 25 million tax for you in our pocket.
This is beautiful.
Cost 3.2 just to party.
What do you got?
Market graph speed is way faster. We can't go higher than this. Unfortunately. We can't go higher than
600
I mean sore plum has been very good to us man
It's a baby bond play 150 171 guys
Ghibli are you watching?
ha gonna do it again.
gotta think about that one.
60-83.
okay obviously you're getting nothing.
You're not living that long but you know what?
I'll toss you a million just to get you to f.ck off.
you I think it's like basically 50-50 bro.
It's fifty-fifty and you're paying out one to five.
I mean i'll put ten million on you just for oro bro.
I know the EV is better to just go all in, but
Now who we playing here? I'm willing to give you a little percent
5663 5663
5864 lives ain't too bad here, man. I think we become a long a buy-and-hold
investor on chromia flowering
Bad event stole baby rental that's huge up your stack
Given school demerit up your stack bigly promoted. I mean we need to have a
position here
that's pretty good ace big tests I mean we got so much momentum you can't sell
you can't sell when the chart looks like that
Don't even sweat it. Natural ebb and flow of the market. You live until 150? Yeah, we're
not sweating this at all. Catch me in a little uptrend. Oh! First part of this, I'm being
dead ass with you, 2.1 million. If you want any of my fucking Sequa Lux, who the fuck
Am I I don't even if you want any of my chromia you got to pay me two million a chromia and that's probably the lowest
The price is ever gonna be again
There's no shot I'm sure in this you lost your damn mind
And don't sell it well, there's nothing wrong with taking a little risk off the table
table. Holy fuck. Okay. That was my story and I'm sticking to it.
Bros Life is a movie. 2.7, 2.7 I done more. Huge.
Holy fuck, he's still only 90 bro, I think you gotta hold longer.
I think the next one we're talking about, I know it sounds insane.
I think I need to see 5 million bro.
Knowing that you're gonna live for another 50 years, I need to see 5 million before I
I part with any of my precious chromia oh it's climbing no sweat all right that
sucks but I'm telling you he makes it to 150 worst-case scenario I dumped the
whole stack when he's 142 years old I think he's got more juice left in him
though I'm squeezing the lemon I'm squeezing the lemon still squeezing it
Give me one more. Give me one fucking more
Okay, I'm out
We're short of my life die die die you will die you will die
You will fucking die right now you will die
my king my fucking king
holy cow
chromia that's my I can't believe I was talking about selling it like 2.1
million bro and imagine if these fucking side bets
I mean you're a given so there's 62 mil
Oh
That stings a little bit because that was the EV was good on that bet but
All right, they nine of ten
Constantly six million dollars just a party
This is the one I like the most right here
It's Sean plot day
Well, I'll tell you first thing you need to know
Well, length of life, all pretty average.
I mean, if I'm being real with you today, it kind of sucks, bro.
If you're living till middle age, I'm putting a rack on 4% chances just to have some fun.
And then, I mean, you already know the ticket, man.
Maybe let's try average price this time
And then play highest average price with a good lifespan
That's going to be you bro 308 to 357
That's yours again, I didn't put any bet. Oh because you're you're probably gonna die too soon
Gamma lord returns
Go down, go down, go down, go down, go down, huge, go down, go down, beautiful.
The only thing that matters to me today is side bet.
I'd like to see you at 380 and I'd sell the whole stack.
Yeah, it seems like a bad day.
One of those 4% side bets paying off would be beautiful, man.
Join sports league.
I want to see a little more.
Just a little.
Just one more.
That's the one right there.
And then dump it all.
Sorry, keep dumping.
Keep dumping.
to rehab is good, which means we short.
earliest cash out possible would be would be very nice here.
bot competitors company.
we're above the average, we don't cash out.
cash out right there.
all right, it happens, it happens.
When you're only making it 64 to 82, all I would do at this point is possibly a risk-free
short.
Otherwise, I mean, some days in the market there's nothing to trade on, bro.
You gotta look at the VIX.
You have died.
Okay.
I mean, bro died on like one of the most aura times you could possibly die on.
Only thing that would be better is if he lasted eight more months than he would have died
on boob.
Let me say this is a 4 percent, 4 percent hit, the 4 percent hit, 4 percent hit.
What the fuck what's four times four times four wasn't there a 64% chance that was going to come to pass
All right, so to get a gold trophy. I will need to get to
$500 million
Which seems
Crazy to say seems not impossible especially with side beds paying it out double seems not impossible
I want to see
Length of life
We want to see a long life on number three one or three and 120 is beautiful and then we want to see quality of life
Okay, we're fucking all in on you
907 seems like a fucking gimme with these kind of stakes
I'm in for 20 million on you
Long life, high quality, that's enormous.
Anything else here?
I mean, to be honest with you, what do we need 500 million?
I'll go one on each, I don't fucking care, man.
And then you, I'm gonna make up for my earlier mistakes, okay?
What was my earlier mistake?
We know you're going to the moon.
Buy earlier and don't sell.
There's no reason to sell.
You know you're going up.
A 70 and 78%.
I mean obviously I would have bought back here, but if we'd known the future then we
would just buy it below and sell it behind, bro.
hold till a hundred years I think you could do that I think you could hold till
a hundred years I mean his life's kind of got nowhere at age 35 but like it
happens people live to be a hundred these days
I'm telling you, there's a big spike coming.
There's a fucking big spike coming.
Yeah, that's, that's, and then you use that money to
start your own company.
And then you get promoted at your parent's company.
It's happening.
Big spikes and then the higher the price gets the bigger the percentage gains
More please more
Sold the company that's usually a huge spike
103 surgically increased wingspan. I'm gonna need to see a little more. I gotta I got a big fucking side bet on this Iggy
I GG why I got a big side bed just just one more uptrend would be crazy
Two more uptrends in a row, please oh
One more one more one more. I think he might have actually done it. I think the legend fucking did it. I'm unwinding
He hit some chop
And then I'll short it 108
Holy shit, holy shit, we got out just in time.
Please tell me the side bed hit.
I don't know, it had to be 900 and something.
It literally could not have been more perfect.
Thank you for saying that, chat.
Thank you for saying that.
Come on, just one, just one.
No, never the first one.
Yeah, oh, it definitely fucking hit.
That's 133 million in my pocket.
Holy shit, that's definitely not 500 million, but still that's pretty awesome.
That's a big day man, that's a big day.
Miss Shuppa, I present to you the product of our efforts, the Future Solver.
With this you can get a 100% accurate window into the future of any subject in the galaxy.
We'll know when to buy, sell, and short these babies every single time.
And now that we've built it once, this technology can spread.
We've solved the baby market.
Heck, we can see anything we want.
No more speculation, no more gambling.
No more speculation, no more gambling.
Without endless baseless profiteering to sap their energies, entire star systems could
anticipate problems and build their solutions.
We could bring together the entire universe.
Fix everything.
Wait, what are you doing?
No, please!
She could make everything better.
Mogged.
Dude.
Space warlord baby trading simulator.
Kind of sick.
Kind of sick to be honest.
I don't know what the...
If there's like a...
I do feel and this is not...
I hate to do this and I also hate when this is done.
When people play something that's like good
and four and a half hours of entertainment
And it wasn't very expensive and then they go you know it would really hit the spot though
What if you added a rogue like mode that I could play for five thousand hours or something like that, but still I like
That's a natural extension. It feels like it feels like the natural extension of this is
What if you added
200 relics that slightly changed the way that the game played and stuff that you maybe you don't want to do that
Which is also fine, but this is really cool. Let me let me slash marker this
They didn't leave you wanting more space for the baby maybe simulator
Good game, man, just do some oh a little 142
We'll do some bells because I want to be on time for chicken potato. I
thought about pubg casual, but
That could be 40 minutes long.
Change the fucking shit to fucking...
What is this called? Just chatting?
Check this Discord pane.
A message I should have responded to two weeks ago.
That's all right. We'll get to that after the stream.
I
Sush marker dolls
Wait, why am I even slash marketing? We don't need to do the dolls bro. We can just have fun today
I don't need to pretend YouTube's gonna watch this it would only be a 17 minute doll
Oh
That's lion and winter type shit. Oh
I thought I might be the fucking goat bro something to do with King Arthur legend of the sword
I really thought it could be the line did anyone else think it was the lion and winter on guess one
300 is fucking great gray wall is fucking funny. Can I say something? Maybe they're guessing this is
a joke and I'm missing something. Those are clearly flags from medieval England. Like you're
you're tweaking if you think that's more of a that those are banners. Thank you. Last samurai. Come
on, bro. It's clearly that is made with Welsh you. They don't know shit about longbows, bro.
Okay, okay, let me think about this. An iron, a putter, a wood, and a wedge, golf clubs.
Can I say, by the way, I'm not a golf guy, I've played golf two or possibly three times
in my entire life and they were all 16 years ago.
And I've tried to watch golf on TV and not really gotten it.
I caught a little bit of the arcade golf that is on TV now, I forget what it's called.
It's kind of cool.
I feel like they kind of made it a little cool to watch.
It's a head-to-head golf game
that is less than two hours long.
They got Topgolf on TV now.
Yeah, man.
They got Topgolf on TV now.
I understand like the cynical read of it.
The cynical read is golf already makes a lot of money,
but they want a little slice
of that weekday sports watcher, such as myself.
So they had to reinvent the product
in order to create a way to put it,
not just on Fridays to Sundays,
but also have it be up on like a Tuesday in the wintertime.
But I think it fucking kind of worked, bro.
I was having a good time watching it.
Anyway, cube, quarter, mince, and dice,
ways to cut an ingredient.
Oh, shit.
Really?
All right, um, a board a lane, a hash, I'm trying to, are these like elements of a bowling
Alley, mince, types of meat, it definitely dice, mince, cube, hash, maybe hash is the
verb to cut into really, really thin strips, cut into, I've never heard of hash used like
that but I mean the negative space led to the inference that that could be the only
correct answer. A house, a lodge. I feel like these are all connected. A watering, water,
places to drink, not even close. Quarter, something that could represent 25, could represent
one in four, could represent a place where you live, a quarter, card, board, headboard,
foam, squishy things, foam, foam, foam finger, foam roller, things that you can roll. You can
roll a quarter. Magicians, magicians, props, foam, memory, memory hole, memory foam, memory
memory board, memory lane, the reference to Ill Might, what? Memory card is more relevant.
Well this is pissing me off because memory hole is a real thing, but isn't memory board
a real thing? And I think I'm getting an emory board and a vision board confused. Provide
with the place this all the fucking like third amendment type shit anyway we get
there eventually that was a tough one for me though bro you look like you're
from Cantor Lantus can't really do I take that as a compliment to be honest
um guy like me would take that as a compliment let me skip straight to some
fucking good stuff, bro. Because we only have 10 more minutes before chicken potato hits.
The Toonie Kebab. I mean, I think this looks good as fuck, but a Kebab for free is hard to beat.
It's going to be brown, red, and green. Beats brown and green. You need a little red in there.
New pies. Can't help but think you've done the food at this service by taking the photo in this way.
This looks really bad though. So I think I got to go new pies on that one.
This is essentially inedible so far so good on the Scrandle, man.
Raw fish will never win.
It actually looks pretty good, man.
Fish for the man of the match is a classic.
Pickled pork versus steak pie in a roll.
I mean, honestly, we've had this before.
I feel like it usually ends up low and like this ends up lower than I think it is
Should be and this ends up higher so we go with that and it wasn't even close
Oysters free for fans and players
Well, this guy is the keeper bro versus. Oh, I mean listen
Rose pork sandwich for two pounds. I mean that's a given on that one
Ham and cheese baguette with a pint for 5 pounds 40 or a pizza that I mean it looks a little greasy
But it looks pretty fucking good, but this sandwich looks awesome, and it comes with a beer
Six oysters for 12 pounds or the entre vero mixed grilled meats with green mayo I
feel like
just me person this looks insane don't get me wrong like that looks wrong but
eating six oysters at a baseball game is like who do you think you are like you
should you should only get this if you're like the owner or something like
that like that's a crazy thing the order at the baseball game I gotta go with the
green male. Honey butter chicken versus burnt and nachos. This two is 25 pounds too expensive.
It's got to be that guys were we navigated we navigated Scrandle perfectly today. Holy
shit. That's rare. Guys, I know this one thanks to Dan. The old school Ultima games
had you playing as a heroic man or woman known as the Arvatar. No more victims is a registered
trademark of what's safety non-profit?
Uh, OSHA?
Fuckin'—oh, mad, mad.
Okay, that makes more sense.
Fendi put out what little strappy handbag that makes us hungry.
I have no idea.
Popular in the Art Deco days, a gemstone in the slender, step-cut rectangle goes by what
carb-heavy name. Gemstone in a slender, step-cutter rectangle shape. I mean, it doesn't seem like
it looks like pasta. Baked potato? This sounds crazy, but I think a baked potato kind of looks like,
Oh, fuck baguettes.
I was thinking of like the, the rectangular emeralds you would see in like, uh,
Diablo or something like that.
And then I was trying to think about what carb it looks the most like.
And to me, that looks the most like a big potato.
Prince Siegfried drowns himself.
That's one like bro spoilers.
Sinimus is Greek for dog-mouse, which makes it a great genus name for what North American critters?
Possum?
Barking squirrel, out west rodents that are also called sod poodles.
Moles.
People peering out over their cubicle walls and a prairie dogs.
I'm prairie dogging it from rat race, bro.
How are you missing this?
They should have put the rat race clue first, bro.
Odd movie.
It's literally just a comedy.
like yeah it's a reverend is trying to make you laugh you actually just pissed
me off with what you said this movie so weird is like the same as these these
musicians were definitely on drugs meaningless ass observation yeah bro
they made a work of fiction maybe try to suspend your disbelief a little bit
I'm fucking mad at you supposed to say you're right though sorry I forgot one
second. Sort these names by the ratio of usage as a male middle name versus as a
first name. Okay so we want to find, this is crazy, find the ones that have the
highest ratio of middle name versus first name. Okay, William is a very common
middle name. It does look like it says Ray William Johnson. I don't think Lee is
that common? I just think, okay, could I say something? Jason, nobody's making Jason a
middle name. It's that's a first name, dominated name. Only Tommy Lee Jones has Lee in the middle.
I don't think you hear that much about the other ones here. James, I think, is going to often be
in the middle as well. I could, I could see it. God is my witness. I can see you going like this.
We hot swap. Oh shit, okay, I don't know anything. Lee, maybe Lee is most middle name
leaning because no motherfuckers are named Lee these days, especially first name, last
name. Yeah, there's like a lot. But first name, not really. Well, now I'm just moving
it around for sport really. Well we get there. I told you one thing we clocked immediately
bro. Jason is not a middle name. If someone told me that their middle name was Jason,
I'd be like that's fucked up. You gotta go catfishing though. Who is screaming man?
My wife's probably playing Kingdom Come Deliverance too.
Somebody just tried to sell her inferior copper.
NASA satellites launched in 1990?
That's Hubble, bro.
It looks like a piece of shit.
Honestly, it looks like a fucking piece of garbage.
It literally looks like a fucking trash can.
they even trying? 1966 British novels set in Jamaica. I have absolutely no, I've never
heard of it in my life. We move on. 1980s American British films that are black and
white directed by David Lynch from, set in London. Circus films directed by, this is
the elephant man? You're going to think this is a lie. I did not know that David Lynch
directed the elephant man. But I did know that the elephant man is based on a circus
performer who's, I mean, his job got John Merrick's remains, ooh, all them crazy elephant
bones, you know what I'm talking about? If I had a million dollars, why are your knowledge
gaps so inconsistent? I don't know, because I'm one motherfucker instead of like a condenser
rod for consensus, the way you seem to project on me for some reason. You're basically, how
do I not know some things and know others? I don't know, bro, because I've lived like
a rich and varied life, I suppose, because I've had a cosmopolitan suite of interests
instead of becoming obsessive about fucking trains, okay? That's why I have a breadth
of knowledge, that's not necessarily exhaustive in any one particular domain, because I'm
a real fucking person, not just a dude who lives in a fucking, look at this, I can put
my arms outside of the box.
Where do you think the sun goes at night?
That's what I'm asking you.
And are you surprised when it returns in the morning?
Hang on, I got trivia to answer.
20th century women novelists who are American, but also Chilean, a lot of
Chileans doing a lot here. Do I know a single Chilean writer who's also
American? No. Am I going to know their name when I press this button? Yes. It is
is an 84-year-old American author who is,
I'm going to say Toni Morrison,
even though I don't think this could possibly be true.
I had to put in a guess.
2017 French bankers who are independent politicians,
I'm just not gonna know a radical centrist writer
from France, to be honest.
So I feel like what I'm going to type here
is just Macron, even though that doesn't,
oh, okay, it's actually right.
Did I miss where it says, is the Prime Minister?
It's the third one?
Oh yeah, my bad, y'all.
We can do a president and a prime minister in France.
Most countries kind of picked one or the other.
Do you have both?
Yes, we have both.
I'm being dead ass with you.
What's the difference?
Like what's the division of labor?
President is more foreign policy-focused, Prime Minister is more domestic.
President is the equivalent of a monarch for us.
All right.
It's blurry.
Everything is so fucked up.
And it's where there's motions in between us.
You know what I'm talking about?
Puddle of mud.
But that's not very far.
you take it all away. One of the two good Puddle of Mud songs. Marsupials of South,
North, and Central America. I really should know this. I'm going to say pause them again.
Oh, shit, you are a marsupial. Yeah.
I love possums, man. Vancouver. I know this sounds like I'm making a joke.
I'm not Vancouver Aquarium.
We used to have a terrestrial animals exhibit.
They always had a possum there and I loved him because he just didn't do
anything at all. First time I saw him, I went,
why isn't he doing anything? Second time I saw him,
I went, what do I fucking want him to do?
He's like in a tank, basically.
He's in an enclosure.
Like, what do I expect that he's gonna do in there, man?
He's not gonna start doing like gymnastics or something.
American online encyclopedias.
So I really feel like this is probably the most famous
encyclopedia in the world,
which would be Encyclopedia Britannica.
Okay, I was about to type World Book, which is fucked up, but 1884 establishments in China, municipalities of Taiwan.
Okay, you should be Taipei. Correct.
Bro, this is, I feel like I know everything about this building.
It's actually like not even that tall. One dude who's in good shape could actually climb that.
I've seen it done bro. Facts. Except it wasn't really fair because he needed a ladder at the end.
It actually looked easy. What I heard is that, well what I heard from the r slash climbing Alex Honnold,
climbing Taipei 101 Mega Thread when the event was live, is that actually it is easy to climb in the whole scheme of things.
But the the the reason you want it to be easy to climb is because if you make a mistake you fall a thousand feet to your death
so
Easy and let me rephrase easy for him to climb
Easy for him to climb it wasn't like a 5050 it was like a 99 one
1764 ships that went to Australia. I simply have no idea. It was, it was a shipwreck off the
coast of Rhode Island. Chesapeake, called the Chesapeake HMS in Beaver, fair enough. I don't
know much about Australian naval history to be honest with you. Ah, this is cow tools. That's so
funny is the fastest I've ever gotten it bro it was like card bovine cartoons
yeah that's got to be cow tools that's one of the most famous far side comics
bro yeah that was a pretty easy what I honestly thought we'd be a little bit
more down here but that's okay oh my god it's 204 my wife hates our noisy
zoomer neighbors but I can't say shit cuz I know in my heart I was that guy ten
years ago fuck that bro your allegiance has shifted you have to knock on the door
Sorry to be heteronormative. It's the it's the man's job to knock on the door and say knock that shit off
And if they don't knock it off you have to call the police and issue a noise complaint
Because did they not call the police on you as well?
When I was 20 I got some noise complaints
They called the fucking police on me and then when I lived in an apartment building the fuck-ass
Divorce boomer next to me was partying until like three in the morning
I never called the police on him, but I knocked on his fucking door like twice a week
Always like the sheepish fucking middle-aged open the door
Smells like a fuckload of red wine like it smells like fucking 18 bottles of red wine broke on the door itself
Could you oh were we making too much noise? Yeah, your stereo knob is fucking broke it off dumbass
And you share a wall with six other units
Didn't know Canada was full of knocks.
Just literally keep it down, bro.
Or keep it up, but stop at 11.
And at 11, you can still party.
You just got to turn it down.
Never?
Okay, then fucking nut up and buy a single detached family house.
That's your other option.
Get your money up, go out, live in the woods, and you can turn your music up as loud as
as you want. But as long as you're going to live in the fucking concrete jungle, you've
got to respect the people around you. You can only call the cops when they don't listen
to you. Yes, you cannot open with a police noise complaint. But if you knock once and
talk to them, and then you give them like 15, 20 minutes, you knock again. If they ignore
the second knock, sorry, it's got to be done. Ignoring the first and the second request
to lower the sound is like you have to pull out the nuclear option. I still wouldn't call
the cops. Okay, listen, is this some shit that's happened to me? I'm not larping unlike
you. So I think it was like fucking three in the morning. And you got to get up for
work at seven and your neighbor is making loud ass noise and it's like a Wednesday night
or something like that when the rubber meets the road, you might be like, there's a reason
they make that number so short.
Let's put it that way.
Also, Magresta, I saw you say, what if it's two ladies?
If it's two ladies, you have to work it out amongst yourselves.
I don't know.
I don't know how that works.
And unlike other streamers, I'm not going to fall into the trap of saying how I think
it would work.
You have to figure that out amongst yourselves.
Okay.
There's a rule of thumb that you use for that, or if it's on a case-by-case basis, okay?
I have no idea.
I put my speakers against the wall and blast baby shark.
Bro, I'm just trying to get some sleep.
I'm not trying to get into like a noise war with my 51-year-old neighbor, like this is
Oh, yeah, I'll play cut though
Where did I put cut though anyway
Put it right here. It's an interesting one today. It's a very interesting one
That looks fucking good man, I'm gonna give it just one little
Oh, that's pretty good. I can live with a 49-51. I don't want to talk about this, but I can live with a 49-51.
I doubted you 100%. I mean, I know it's not surprising that this one's smaller,
But it does look like I mean this looks like a 62 38 to the average motherfucker out there for sure
Hmm, I love this game because it outs people who don't know shapes. Yes, sir
I mean people are literally saying like why didn't you cut it like this bro optimize all you want
You're still gonna die one day anyway with that in mind. I'm gonna send you over by your right by the way
I'm gonna send you over to my wife's stream
Enjoy the rest of your evening on that parting thoughts, and I will see you tomorrow.
Later!