⚠️ VOD is unavailable.
northernlion VODs on twitchBroadcasts 30+ hours are truncated. View the Raw Transcript VTT for the full version.
All right, the PC has been rebooted, let's give it a try.
we're hoping for I mean no crackling is one thing but just a video would also be
nice oh it fucking worked oh my god
doing the death threats at some point yeah I think everyone rebooting your
PC will fix all your problems forever nice I do have Lego party installed I did
reinstall it if it if it comes to blows we can like a party yeah I don't even want
to mention it but I I don't even have a controller down here to plug into my PC
so I was like I was really hoping that this worked you're good though it's all
I think it's I think it's ready to go oh my huge wait this is a jamboree is the
jamboree jamboree yeah jamboree okay yeah yeah i literally just opened it and couldn't remember
oh let me let me let me go to my satellite dish
i feel bad i'm at this age i should know don't swap the cable first don't try to
double shoot on the cable yeah any software settings just go immediately to restart man it'll
It will work every time.
I was under my desk, shifting the cables around,
and did knock over a huge pile of DVDs down there.
So it's been a rough start.
I was telling Justin, I was really
impressed with your physical media library.
Then he told me that you just bought a cardboard box off
of eBay.
Yeah, I bought a cardboard box of 100 assorted DVDs off eBay.
Well, I bought 30 and then 70.
And then I also bought 18 copies of K-Packs.
And that's a whole other thing.
so it was all the k-packs from the same person
no
no it was
just scrape the web for every available copy
it was all from like it was an eighteen different kebekwa
uh... like dvd dealers on ebay
that's so awesome
it's like you're like a magic the gathering finance guy
who's buying up all copies of like abit of k-packs finance
and then for the fucking k-packs joke to get blown out of the water
in the first 30 seconds of the bit.
Yeah.
Although I was going to last a little longer than that,
but that's good.
Yeah, DVD week is such a hit.
I'm having a lot of fun with it.
I think we're going to do a version of it with old Xbox
games or like PS2 games.
That's something.
Oh, I got to get in there for that, man.
I looked at, I saw, I was watching a video or something,
and I just glimpsed the visage of an original Xbox.
And holy moly, man.
it took me just so it's just so nice to look at the original Xbox did you have
this huge controller and I was like eight years old and I couldn't even
reach the black and white buttons yep oh man so my my original Xbox the lobbies
up by the way stuck in if you want oh yeah where do I go again
I think it was a satellite dish.
Oh shit, okay, I just got in the hot air balloon one sec.
Ah fuck.
Yeah, I had a original Xbox and I had a friend show me how to put Linux on it and then I
put Linux on it and then like a Super Nintendo emulator.
Damn.
It just became a new Super Nintendo.
Yep.
My oversized SNES.
I don't think anybody can claim to love the Xbox as much as Stefan, isn't that
right, man?
Wow, look.
I actually know this story.
I know this story.
It was truly to have loved and lost and especially when you are 12 years old, that controller
goes really crazy.
They up the vibration feature like crazy.
And the size of the controller, you get like full coverage.
I mean it was more than full coverage.
It was more than half of my body at that point.
I wasn't as cool as Justin with the Linux on the Xbox, but I did buy special controller
decals that you could like paste to the Xbox controller in order to make it look cool.
So mine was like it had a red border all the way around it.
And I did use Deco on purpose as well.
So I thought you guys were really good at it.
This motherfucker doesn't know the word dongle.
How many turns are we looking to do?
Is there any time to try this game?
I've got nothing but time.
I'm up by like one my time, but yeah, that's a long time.
That's a long time.
Yeah.
All right, so we did them all last time.
Yeah.
What are we thinking?
I think King Bowser's Keep it's got to be right.
It's a class.
I think you guys are going to fucking finesse me and Stefan on this, but I'm happy to
get finessed.
I don't think there's a trick to this one except that the vault is kind of like I think it might be fool's gold
But if there's only two turns left and you're down by a lot might be the only way that you can actually make something happen
Yeah
Hey, but here's the thing man
If you squint hard enough fool's gold looks just the same, you know, so I'm gonna keep fucking going to it
When I was a kid I remember my grandma got me fools gold and I thought it like I brought it to school
Being like look I have a piece of gold and everyone's like shut the fuck up
Your grandma called you a fool.
Your grandma called you a fool.
I think I've talked about my rich clown history.
My grandma was also a clown, and therefore I was also a clown.
Oh yes.
And she knew your neighbor or something because your neighbor's mom was the one that went back.
It was my buddy Cody, and I knew him through the music scene.
He played guitar and bands that I was trying to play.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, to be a clown in the era of a jester.
Oh, wow.
Does that bother you that we're in a jester-maxing, jester-booning?
It pisses me off that Netflix has jester-maxing as a fucking category.
Oh, my God, really?
I did not know that.
Oh, that is a massive bummer.
Yeah, that really sucks.
But what, for those of us who haven't been on it in a while,
what's in the category?
It was some website, some website had it.
It's got to be the campaign, right?
And that's what it was called with Will Ferrell and Zach Galfinakis?
That's a Jester Maxxon movie for sure.
Really anything with Zach Galfinakis I think would qualify.
I probably also will suggest it.
Let me just look at the big pile of DVDs in front of me right now and see if there's
anything more.
There you go.
Okay, Roger Gear, not a Jester Maxxon movie.
Probably not.
to wed with Robin Williams, I think that counts.
Absolutely.
Is that the one where he sends them to six months of hard marriage?
Or is that...
That might be just married with Dennis Miller, now that I think about it.
So, just going off of the cover, the DVD itself, he's laying in bed with Jim from the
office and Mandy Moore, and Robin Williams is laying between them, and he's got his
hands behind his head, and he's a Catholic priest.
He's got his shoes on in bed too and they're looking at the camera like, what's going on here?
Dream threesome.
And if Jim from the office is, I don't know if I want to do this if people haven't talked
to that much.
Hey you watched our fucking stream.
Okay, you're six inches in the man anymore and Jim from the office is six inches
into you.
Are you going forward or backwards?
Oh bro, how do you fucking reverse?
Is he making the gym face?
I guess it depends, I can't really tell.
He's going to have me in the gym face.
I'm moving back slightly and looking back
and seeing if he's starting to make the gym face.
If he starts to make the gym face, I go forward.
I'm six inches in and therefore I'm shocked
because I didn't know that was possible.
That's incredible.
Approaching new frontiers.
man. Another great addition to the Mandy Moore filmography. Yeah. Yeah. Is that a
walk to remember some other some other films? I'm sure saved. I think it was it
saved. Oh, she isn't saved. Yeah. Really, you need a link between Macaulay Culkin
and Mandy Moore for some reason. Like a six degrees of Kevin Bacon type
I think it was Kevin Bacon's son, I think he is a new metal band if I'm not mistaken
I think that was the case
He probably was coming of age in the aughts that maybe the early teens or something
Who among us is not jumping into a new metal band?
Little Pete from Pete and Pete also had a new metal band I think
I'm sorry. I've got a vast history of I think that's right
I'll ask John Colin later. I'm we're having him on the on the stream tonight. So I can oh nice nice
Yeah, I did I had it so I have been with the Olympics around anytime someone's like like all curling is so cool
I'm like, what could I tell you about about my buddy John Cullen's book? He wrote I mean
I had to have sold at least a few copies of it the curling stuff having during the Olympics right as John
Is like doing curling stuff for CBC was like the best timing imaginable. It was crazy. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah. Oh, God, I've not been paying attention.
No, me either.
Where did they end bad boys in curling, too?
I gotta say, it feels pretty good.
Yeah, it was great.
I was watching the gold medal game.
I was going crazy.
I loved it.
I missed the whole Winter Olympics,
because it was on peacock, right?
That sounds right.
Not up here.
We had CBC came up here.
Oh, they just, yeah, you just get it up there.
CBC just went on multi-plan them during the Olympics,
for sure. It hasn't seen that much action since season 2 of North of North started.
Wow. I was going to say you two are so dead. Oh. Oh. Oh. I think I'm 2 for 2 on this one
on stream, folks. Let's get the record straight on this. Yeah, I had Peacock. I paid like
$240 to see the new Jackbox movie because I got a Peacock trial to watch it. There's
I got to see what the captain from Chubbope gets up to in his downtime
I woke up an hour ago and played CS until 3 in the morning
I got promoted in CS
I am 15k now
You went from the boss to the CEO
I did play like two games last night in my own elo and it was so nice man.
Are you playing offline man?
I had last night off from baby duty so I was like I'll play a couple games in there.
And to be able, I mean like all stream yesterday I was getting like, I was like 8 and 25 on
average to go like, there was a game I think I went like 16 and 12 and I was like
oh this is awesome.
It's like taking off the weighted vest, right?
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I did see, I've watched the clip of you, Ryan,
like jumping into the middle lane or whatever.
That jumpy with the off back clip is the funniest,
funky thing I've ever seen, dude.
I think that was a bad call for my IGL personally,
but that's okay.
I could bear the responsibility.
The bad call was belief in your ability to do it.
I think we played that once on stream, and it didn't go well.
I know we did Valorant once as a sponsorship, and it was so miserable.
It was to the point where the people in the chat were just playing with randoms, we're
just like, you guys are like 36 years old, you guys got to get out of here, you can't
play with here.
Tell them how we were playing.
The most I ever got owned in a game was playing Valorant, and a teammate said
something and I replied and I guess he just clocked my voice and he was like go pay your
mortgage old ass. Oh my god. Oh fuck. That sucks. God that was all there was a day I was playing
Valorant with a bloody and chibli and there was a very bubbly girl on our team who was
like hey guys how's your day and chibli cut her off to say I'm divorced and she was
like oh. It was so good.
I
Can't believe you're playing CS offline man. It really has its hooks in you it does it does
Oh, it's the perfect FPS game five five hours of getting like shit on I had to like it was kind of like yeah
Yeah, yeah moment right I get it you need sort of like validation that you're not going completely crazy
Have you guys seen that kid on Instagram who bulls like an absolute maniac?
The way he throws it is so like a stutterstap or whatever.
You just hit me with that man that was crazy.
He's done the video at like 10 different angles and every single time it gets more
confusing how he gets a strike on everyone.
I used to go bowling in a sketchy ass bowling alley.
For anyone in the chat who's from Long Island, we used to go bowling in Hempstead at this
real fucked up bowling alley that had 99 cent games.
And they would let my buddy Keith take a running start from the front door, he would run
all the way down the aisle, and he would throw the lightest ball he could, it was
so fun.
like a carpeted sort of vestibule you go to the desk with you get the shoes and
then you might not even be on like lane one you might be on like lane eight or
something well not so it was like a straight line to the lane like it was
to get in the place there's like a stairwell down and then straight ahead
was the lanes and if we were in the lane that lined up with the door oh man
oh that's crazy that's sick that's kind of a dream come true you know it
was really good. That was the same play. I was like 14 years old and I had a
Mohawk and a denim vest and stuff. And then it's on your Xbox. Yep, yep, when it's on
the Xbox. That was just pre-Xbox, I think, even the oldest part. But there were
leagues there and we would always be there hanging out doing our 99 cent
games but they would need like ringers because someone didn't show up. And
they would, when everything in their rigor they would go, we'll take the
crazy white boy
honestly I've lived my life in such a way that I need to be picked out in a crowd as the
crazy white boy at any possible opportunity I think that's it's one of the highest honors
I mean if you go bowling again to see if they still have the fucking animations after the
spares and the strikes I've been bowling in here they do I was out of lane recently
And that it was it was still like five FPS and it's like 3d modeling from the 90s. It was fucking great
That is sick
So good, how dare you?
Man another bowling story
I went bowling with a group of like 30 people once and they didn't tell me that their plan was to run out of the alley
After playing and not pay. Oh man, it was a dashed. Yeah, they bold and dashed
I was a broke kid so I also bowled and dashed with him
I was not going to stay there and take the heat
But I left my $100 bowling shoes
And I couldn't really go back and say hey guys I left these here
Now interesting, it's a little bit of texture to my view of Justin that he had $100 bowling
shoes
Listen I was bowling a lot
It was kind of my thing
Drain it
Oh my god
What was funny was that was in an affluent neighborhood
And I think that's why you didn't pay in advance
They just like trust you trusting
You had them have a permanent tax bracket rule
where you had to be of a certain class to bull there, and you can't touch the pores.
A stark contrast to where I grew up, where you had to buy your slurpee cup in advance.
All the slurpee cups were behind the counter.
To put a deposit in on the slurpee first.
Garden City, yes!
Garden City the bull.
Garden City was Garden City.
I'm going to go fucking die right now.
You're being crazy today Justin.
I'm feeling crazy Justin is flood maxing.
This is perfect.
Now that I've got you on the back foot Justin I'm addressing this on the world stage here
because I've never felt so snubbed in my life and I need to bring it up to you.
You guys were playing Super Battle Golf which as I was saying earlier, as we were all
Well saying earlier was extremely fun to watch and needs to be played as much as humanly
possible.
And as you were learning to play the game, you said, how do you change the degree of
the club?
And I said in the chat, I said in the chat, why don't you ask Sean Paul and you gave
me absolutely nothing.
You gave me nothing.
Oh, fuck.
I just had to think about it for a second.
I went, oh my God.
It's the most proud of anything I've ever been, and you most hold me.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to call you out like this, but we're friends, you know?
I feel terrible for that.
That's really good.
That's crazy good.
Maybe I just didn't notice.
I have to imagine I would have lost my mind if I saw that.
I saw that the chat was going nuts for it, Ricky.
I'll take that.
Justins approval that I want no, I know of course. Yeah the approval of the streamers with the most
Right. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I mean the travel basically watch anything. Yes. That is damn true
Yeah, Chad Chad's our real friend at the end of the day
Did you guys know that new meta in bowling is not the Chad
single arm throw but the virgin two hands cradling the ball throw the grandma
throw really not not underhand but not between the legs not between the leg kind
of like cradled by the armpit and then unleashed with an otherworldly amount of
spin it's probably better for your wrist I have to imagine I believe that's
probably true it's probably more ergonomic to hold a 20-pound sphere with
two hands
Without twisting your arm insanely
I
Think a good bit would be to join a professional bowling league or like a competitive one and ask them to put the bumpers up
And they're just like oh, I guess you can do that. We don't have it like you're allowed to do
Oh, sure. Okay, go ahead and just fucking dominating with the bumpers
Yeah, absolutely. I think they do actually specifically say you can't use the bumpers
The bumpers you know what I'll say it the bumpers help a lot
They are more fun because you can bowl right into the bunker.
My only knowledge of the bowling meta is that I follow a guy on Instagram called MrGray808
or something like that and he just well so first of all half of his content is
him bowling and then doing like he'll bowl and set it to like early aughts
gangster rap like 50 cent ludicrous I guess ludicrous is not necessarily
gangster rap but you know what I'm saying it is slow motion right right
I guess it depends on the audience and then the other 50% is him
Talking to get basically him secretly recording white women who are yelling at him for wearing his custom
Bowling Jordans to the to the bowling alleys
And I do I mean every time I'm like hell yeah drag her ass
That's good stuff
Sorry, I just got killed really easily there because I was distracted by a Vancouver conox trade
Oh, what happened?
Oh, Tyler Meyer Tidellis
Oh, not Detroit
For a second round pick and a fourth
I'll take that
I'm fine with that
I don't want to get into the Canucks weeds
But it's like, I feel old that he's like the third longest
tenured Canuck at this point
He's been around for so long
It's so crazy
I got to get back in the hockey
I was going to do it this year
And I joined the fantasy league
And then we had our little fantasy league
And I was like, this will make me watch hockey again
I still haven't seen a game. I'm playing you this week Justin. Oh fuck. I think I think you're I think you were eliminated from the playoffs like
Islanders are kind of exciting this year too. Yeah, they doing good
They do the shaffer hunter shaffer one of the best offensive defensemen in the league
Man, yeah, I get back to I the mind part of what does it for me is like I
I guess I can go to like a capitals game if I drove but like Islanders games were always so cheap because they were terrible
And they were like 10 minutes away from my house
No
Yeah, the island boys
And I uh the loudest room I've ever been in in my life was Islanders Penguins playoffs
I've been to a lot of concerts in my life and I was like these are nothing compared to
how loud the stage is.
Was that early 2000s?
Or?
Yeah, it was 2008, maybe?
Okay, yeah.
2007, somewhere around there?
It was unfortunately the game that knocked the Islanders out of the playoffs.
The arena became very deflated very quickly.
I think in overtime, no less.
Man.
Was that the Aaron Ashham New York Islander?
Was he on the team at that point?
I don't know if I don't know that I don't know if they are this is like yeah
This was the like I think starting line was like a post so
Matt Martin maybe and then uh, there's Lee I
Andersley
King
Sezecus
Cal Clutterbuck oh Cal Clutterbuck
Rick DPS that type shit
Oh
They gave him like one zillion dollars to play a season yeah for like a hundred years
Yeah for 100 years. I didn't feel bad for no you can tell he was like, you know
And he did get a sweetheart deal
But man that guy was devastated from that which I guess it's understandable to be devastated that your body got ruined
And you had to stop playing the game you love
Ricky who's your favorite NHL goalie they got signed to a long contract
but couldn't play through the injuries.
Probably Daigo Umehara, if I had to pick the one.
Yeah, from the hand of the parry of God, I remember that.
I was just in my head thinking, is there a single sport that I can name more than five guys from?
And I think all I've got is professional Street Fighter players.
Yeah, the fighting games, I've always been assed at them, but I feel like they are fun
as hell to watch, like watching a fighting game tournament rocks.
It's genuinely the best spectator e-sport ever made or that ever will be made and
now I gotta tell you man, when you were playing 2XKO, I was bouncing up and down in my
seat every stream.
It feels so good when you're in someone else's head, but when they're in your head, it doesn't feel good at all.
Yeah, the tables get turned real quick.
When you're doing the same moves over and over and they always work, you're like, I'm the best that there's ever been.
And then you're playing somebody else and you're like, why do they know exactly what I'm going to do?
That's the thing about fighting games is that they lay your own inefficiencies and insecurities so bare to you.
to you you know it's like you really need to have a cool head I think that's a
lot of the reason why people don't play them or is because like there's nothing
there's nobody to blame but yourself you know you can't be like oh my fuck-ass
teammates you know yeah yeah that's I always love that's why I like Starcraft
like I'm big like you know I've always been like a counter strike head but
there is always that you know it's like I gotta get like four other people to
do a thing with me that sucks but something like a single-player game is
beautiful and yeah no one can get you can only get mad at yourself right right
now I'm a big fighting game and I've spent a lot of my twitch career trying
to get people to fucking appreciate fighting games but hard yeah yeah Justin
if I may you're like the person I've seen be like the most gracious after
frustrating losses in any video game ever in history oh thank you absolutely
I feel like that's a strong suit of mine.
You're usually on Discord with him when he mutes though, Ryan.
Crazy shit.
I get mad in Cine2Nurtle.
Oh, you played a Spanish movie against me, you nerd.
You played a movie that came out before 1990 against me.
I didn't realize.
This isn't school.
I'm saying like ignorant stuff like that for no reason. Yeah. Yeah.
I love that.
And I, uh, I always feel bad because anytime
Oh, I'm sorry, I got I thought someone joined the discord, but it was a birthday alert.
Oh, Justin.
We the fuck you fix the alerts.
Yeah, yeah, the alert company fixed the alerts.
Oh, that's awesome. Wow.
That's right. Yeah, they're they're finally fixed.
It's not Earth Day anymore.
Hey, let's let's get some subs going
So we can see these new fixed alerts.
Yeah.
Come on.
Let him pour them in.
I have 23 hours on the clock so I'm chill for now.
Stefan we're getting completely fucked man.
I can't believe this.
Ryan could take any of these and win.
Whenever I say yes, whenever I say that I'm tilt proof, immediately I feel like
someone in chat tries to make me mad.
I think you are the only person I have ever played deadlock with who has never been shaken
one single time
I remember who was in the lobby with me, but there was someone new in discord
I may have told someone to do something to themselves, to which they said I am not the
loser impersonating a Twitch streamer and I was like oh fuck I am not a loser
That is so funny for him to not to know you but not clock your voice and be like this
guy wants to impersonate HC just
Oh my god, not to scare everybody, this is great I have a golden Capitrain
Wow! Oh my God! Oh shit! The golden birthday boy.
Do you get that? That is something that has bound works.
I think you do, yeah, if you if you don't have any amount of bits.
So everyone get into Justin's chat and go crazy. I was going to say we were playing
Space Marine 2 as like a sponsored game and playing like multiplayer, like team multiplayer.
And there's nothing funnier to me than like because we're me and Jeff are like pretty bad at video games
And so our team is just like calling us out for it
And and like and then going in the chat and just being like hey
We're gonna be paid to play this and it just makes them so mad
So like I can't imagine getting so frustrated over the game where you just you know hold down the right trigger
Yeah million space bugs, you know
I
Watching you play sine two nerdle is like
It's like watching those like those kids who can break dance like I don't even understand the biomechanics of how the human body can do it
It's it's really unbelievable. Can I tell you something embarrassing?
I actually wrote down like a study sheet and I have it in front of me right now as I was having trouble
getting people lost in will ferrell so I could get my will ferrell win condition
Here's the note that I've written down. It says I spy
Eddie Murphy Owen Wilson Gary Cole Straves Jamie Fox Sophia Vergara
Stranger than fiction Dustin Hoffman Maggie Gyllenhaal Queen Latifa mega movie to Raith Fiennes and I in between rounds
I open it and I just repeat it to myself like a fucking psycho
Oh, yeah, and then I close the book and they play like they play
Soulplane and I'm like surprise motherfucker strays
Will Ferrell and Sofia Vergara. I wrote in strays
You're like the guy who will like draw the reticle on their monitor
Man it feels so damn good that is sick dude. They got to make Queen's Gambit about you and sine two nerd
It's embarrassing, but it's also awesome
Every once in a while someone says, and then the thing is, it's an endurance game.
They get tired of naming movies, they stop thinking of defense, and then they go,
okay, Nick and Nora's infinite playlists.
And you're like, buddy, Michael Sarah's in Barbie with Will Ferrell.
Like, you just screwed yourself, man.
You couldn't stay in the game.
One of the classic blunders is going in against NL and a,
who can get sick of naming movies first competition.
I don't think they are standing a chance
I've been getting completely ruined by alerts and conversation just clashing at the same volume
and someone said, AC Justin is getting 50% of the over stimulation of a Go Off King streak
It was 100% last night when you were literally just watching the Go Off Kings and on the Go Off Kings and getting alerts
That was a lot for some of your new viewers I think
Oh
Goodbye Justin I'm back
There's a rude awakening for me last night because it's the first time I kind of realized as an adult that mad magazine sort of sucks
Yeah, there's a lot of stuff that hasn't aged too well
I kind of just gave it its flowers as like a comedy institution
Out of inertia from when I was like nine years old and never really thought about it a second time I
Read a lot of Mad Magazine as a kid and
Yeah, looking back the movie parodies especially think of really not
Age that well the one though. I mean the one for pretty woman is insane
There's a few that I literally could not say on streamer the one for Aaron Brockovich is really crazy
Let me look this up really quick and see you
Yeah, look up what the Mad Magazine parody title for Aaron Brockovich was, and then look up the one for The Matrix Reloaded.
Oh no.
Oh yeah, that's a bad one.
Okay, well I found an awesome article that I imagine you've used as a source here.
We use the, there's a Wikipedia page, uh...
Oh my god!
List of, list of mad film spoofs and list of mad TV spoofs.
I've only made it to Starless Troopers.
I mean, that one hit.
That was it.
That was it.
Yeah.
That one really hit.
Wow.
Wait, there's...
Okay, I just found some guy's...
Some guy named Doug's website.
Yes.
He has every article ever.
That's unbelievable.
Yeah.
No, man.
The Arashrakovich one is pretty...
Not.
It's pretty bad.
It's a little blunt.
It's...
Yeah.
I would say Blunt is a polite way to do it.
to describe a lot of what they're doing.
The Matrix One is really crazy.
The Matrix One is nuts.
The Matrix One is very much of its time.
Well, hey, the second Matrix, the fake trick's reloaded.
That's not too bad.
How bad could it possibly get for the next one?
Well, it's, are you looking, look more carefully at the name of the fake trick's reloaded?
Because they use, they use that different word for reloaded.
Oh no!
That's really bad!
That's really bad!
Oh man.
That was like fake tricks.
Why is everyone getting so offended?
The point of the movie is that it's fake.
That is fake
Troy they is also crazy for Troy like they're
Yeah, just to get there
I'm looking at okay, so I am I am interested because I knew nothing going into the to the the
Trivia last night. I knew nothing about Mad Magazine movie
Titles, but and you won you and Luke one I think we did we did tie for the win
only by one point though, uh, oh man, oh man, a lot of these are, you know, I guess it.
The one I keep going back to is Luke, uh, so it was the Dumb of All Films, and you,
J.F. and Justin, all God, which is the sum of all fears, and Luke said, Luke said,
Lord of the Rings.
Lord of the Rings.
I can see the line, yes.
I know you're kind of like an echo of your own stream from yesterday, but some of these are just
Nonsensical man. Yeah, like what Luke said come on
What the hell is Toyota story for toy story like that doesn't even make any sense
It's just cuz he's on the back of a car. They go with they're on a car for like a little bit at the end
Yeah, like five minutes
file. She's very into British culture, which is not rare for Canadian women like
of her era. But instead of Mad Magazine, she had a subscription to a British
magazine that was like Mad, but... Oh, was it Beano? I don't think it's Beano. I think
it's Viz. I think Jack got it. Or Wiz maybe. And I just remember, like, you would
sometimes be like talking to someone about it and you would be like oh yeah
I really like this comic that's in it and you'd say the name and they would be
like well that's actually the most offensive word that you can say you know
and I was like 11 years old reading that while I was pooping at her house I was
gonna say angle file you mean Prince Andrew
Oh man, come on!
Get him!
Oh man, sorry, I want to be hearing alerts for the next like 35 minutes.
I think, I think K.
Yeah.
Justin is just completely right now.
Oh, Joey's on right now.
He flooded in the corner.
Stefan.
Did someone get a jelly cameo for you?
Yes, somebody did.
No, so I went to cameo and I scraped like tons of celebrities just for the word
the word Justin, and I stole a ton of Justin candy.
If we still had, because one of our listeners made us like a search engine for cameo, and
had to take it down, I think cameo asked him to take it down, but you could search for
like anything, and you could search for what people put in their instructions for the
cameo.
Wow.
That feels like this shouldn't be exposed to the end.
No.
I guess I can see why cameo is not so cool with that.
So here's the thing, if you go to cameo and the reviews is like almost everyone makes
their cameos public.
So if you go to the reviews, most of them are there and you can open them in a new tab,
but it will say like Richard Cahn 2 Justin in the header.
So you can just rapid fire go through until you find the one that says 2 Justin.
Very good at cameo by the way. We got a couple from him gave me a really hard felt like three-minute camp
The thing with cameo now is that it's like it is like 50% AI slop
It's it's their AI celebrities, and it's like they just don't care. Yeah, there was a there was an AI Obama
That was like a hundred dollars a cat
But there were no reviews so much if they know when his mother's
There's also some really bad pur- like there were like two horrible Austin Powers impersonators,
but neither of them looked like they got any action either.
It seems like there's one Austin Powers guy on social media who does- who does pretty well
for himself.
Yeah.
He seems to kind of be the de facto Austin Powers person.
He goes to like birthday parties and stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know I mentioned it recently even, but it blew my mind while I was driving and
I saw a car and I was like, that looks like the fucking shagwar.
And then the license plate was Shaguar.
And I was like, he got kicked in there.
And it's a guy who lives somewhere around here who bought the actual Shaguar and goes around
just dressed up as Austin Powers.
Oh my god.
Which is so cool.
It's actually awesome.
Yeah, yeah.
I wish, God, imagine having just that much disposable income and not giving a fuck.
I actually don't know if that guy has a lot of disposable income, to be honest.
Not after the Shaguar.
Yeah, that's fair also imagine your personality being I'm trying to put this politely
So easily encapsulated in like a single mode
That you could be like happy just being Austin Powers for the rest. Yeah, that's yeah
I'd probably get sick. I'm sure you're like Ricky after like five years or something like that, but I mean I don't know I
How do you think Austin Powers feels man, it's him!
I think he feels awesome!
I feel like I'm at that age now where I could start doing something like psychotic like that.
No one would really think twice about it like, oh yeah Justin's Austin Powers now I guess.
You should get into hockey cards with me Justin.
And so sorry, streaming counter strike for 16 hours until 3am isn't the psychotic
thing or is it like this okay okay picture is so bad oh my god I owned
yeah I need to I need to get in my like maniac air I was watching awesome powers
recently and there's the part where at the beginning where he's unfrozen and
And they're like, um, this is, this is your penis pump, right?
And he's like denying it.
But it's like, I don't know if you guys notice this too.
It's like pretty clearly his penis pump, right?
That's a very popular fan theory, right?
That's like the book, like there's the book as well.
And like, I'm pretty sure it's his.
I have to watch it again, but I don't know.
Well, if you recall later in the movie, I think that he, he pulls it out and
then like looks at the camera to be like, where did this come from?
And then he throws it behind his head as if to be like this is in mine
You know I would just like you know like he should be proud
There's no shins a lot
That's a frame perfect photo
76 I've never won this before I got smell the is the best day of my life
I mean it was an incredible moment of euphoria for me to revisit the Austin Powers trilogy and find out that miraculously, still pretty good.
I think I saw all of them in theaters, which is so funny.
I have way too strong of opinions on it, I can't get into it.
I mean, look man, I'm a big Austin Powers head, so I need to hear it.
I think one is like a classic comedy.
Yeah, who is still pretty good and then three is more in line with the rest of the Michael Myers filmography, which is I do agree with you
Yes, like especially him defaulting to his worst comedic impulse, which is let's tell the exact same jokes over and over again
and also
Just music videos in the middle of the movie
The song parody that are way too long in the middle of the song
Yeah, I agree. Yeah, it's like he took the parts of Austin Powers to that people liked but he'd forgot that he was like only looking at the reviews of like 10 year olds and was like this
People love this stuff. People love the just the two of us with me and mini me. Oh
Yeah, man, I mean don't get it twisted the hard-knock life cover
That's still hands with dr. Evil. I love that was like that's still defining
and culturally defining media for me when I was in 5th grade or whatever it was.
I'll call it right now, I think in the next five years we get a direct to streaming Austin
Powers 4th movie, we travel forward in time from 1997 and have to deal with everything
being woke now.
Yes, absolutely.
Austin Powers is going to get me too.
On stream I did a little, I wouldn't call it a treatment necessarily, but kind of a
rough outline of what i thought an austin powers for would look like
and for me the logical avenue is it's a fat bastard austin powers team up movie
and the reason that these two guys who have previously been at odds with one
another get together
is that fab bastard loses all his money in like a doctor evil crypto rug pole
and then there are joins forces with austin to take him down
that's not like that
and all three are played by mike mires as as is to the course of the genre
sure obviously
and that bastard he he he lost all the weight on the zempik yes
that would be a good thing
well he lost all the weight at the end of the third movie from eating
that's right
which is a joke
that's the worst thing that ever happened to a subway brand
dude subway really was the ozempic of the arts man
i just want to hear him say it
ozempic
You know he'd slip in something like, he's like, they got me on the chat GPT once!
and
that when you mentioned us so i'm married and axe murderer recently right i was
plugged up with the back
uh... i love that movie is a kid but it is kind of like the origin of his fat
bastard accent
he does this is what you know the and prison was me
being radicalized realizing he's just been doing the scottish accent for like
thirty-five or in years that's right
Every single event in the pentaverate he does it like a hundred times again, but like he just keeps doing it
It's like he's he's gotta do some new material man
I believe you are the only person
I know who has seen the pentaverate and then I now I'm that I'm saying that though
I'm remembering I am on the call with Stefan right now
So if there's one other I actually I actually have not seen it wow not seen that that was like the Netflix like series
He did yes. Yeah. Yes. I didn't seem off watching. Yeah. Yeah
To go back to the Austin Powers reboot, I think Dr. Evil gets Elon Musk style hair plugs
also
I bet you Elon Musk would do what cameo would be like a positive one
I would be sick to have one scene where Dr. Evil's whole scalp is just like grotesquely
swollen and full of black dots
I do also just want to take a quick aside and say give give librarian their flowers because that was indeed the kid who bulls like an absolute maniac
Uh, you got it in one nice work man. Can I get a link drop on that uh librarian? Can I get a link drop?
Oh there it is, okay. I don't have an instagram account so sometimes they don't load but let me see here
Oh my god, yeah, yeah, it's really good. Yeah, it's awesome
I don't know why I thought they would be like 20, but this is like an 11 year old kid. Oh, this is this is a child. Yeah
Is he good like what's his score? Does anybody know I only ever see that kid bowling strikes
So there's something going on. I mean one of these pictures
He's holding a big check or like a
It's a tournament bracket that he won in the under 12 division. You only get a big check if you're good
I guess the practice the other night helped got the dub and on to the national championship. Holy
People the 212 he's 11 years old. That's crazy. That's crazy
I'm gonna have a craft to under it. I don't have a crack 120. Yeah, I am not good at falling
And the fact that he walks on his toes has got to be unrelated to any of that
Dude, I'm telling you, with every year that goes by,
I get increasingly convinced that everyone is right.
And there's a one, and someone who wants on their toes,
there's a one-to-one relationship.
Once I stopped fighting the allegations
and started embracing them,
a lot of things in my life came into focus.
I think.
I remember I took that quiz.
Everyone was taking that quiz for a minute.
reds are yeah yeah what you get on it about really fucking high number really
I got like 130 so yes definitely a cartoon thermometer where the top
yeah I was really I remember being like oh that's not that high and then I looked
up like the chart and I was like oh that's pretty that's pretty high I scored
really low but I think I also am accepting that it's possible I just got
so good at masking that it became who I am it's like my my special interest became
masking so I know I will I'm not a pig I will say man like I have heard you talk
about that yeah and like a lot of it is like well they had some stupid
questions on here like do you have problems with the certain textures of
substances and it's like obviously besides velvet which every human on the
The planet hates the texture of, and the problem with textures is that the element is really gross though
The fabric is so fine that when you touch it, it just feels like you're itching on the inside
That's so true
I just just saw I'm not fully putting you on blast. I oh shit. Oh shit. Oh, it was much was it most most
Yeah
I spent majority of my life and maybe even still I get like the crazy fucking goose bumps when when something
Scratches like a particular type of bumpy plastic
specific I call it Laundry basket plastic is like it was it was a nightmare for me
growing up unfortunately. Goosebumps good or goosebumps bad? Goosebumps bad like
really bad. Like you're in here scared. Were you try to tell your parents like
oh I can't do laundry I don't like the way the basket feels? To a degree yeah I
mean I would I would really avoid touching the Laundry baskets also
because sometimes with the plastic Laundry baskets they would be sharp on
on the inside of all of the holes and shit.
I really did not like the laundry basket experience.
I must have the other one,
because honestly, hard plastic feels good as fuck to me.
Especially if it's a little bit cold,
it's one of the best feeling textures on earth.
Oh, God.
I don't remember to be like, oh, Justin stinks,
but the texture of a bar of soap in my hands
drives me insane.
Really?
Interesting.
Yeah, so I've always been a showered glove guy.
I think I don't mind a shower glove. I think a shower glove is important. I
Think I fucked up guys. No, I know I know I nailed it
So I have another story they really I don't think I've ever told it and it really points in the direction of
one specific
outcome
When I was a kid probably I did like around age five
When we were in public, I would just pick a link off of strangers coats
I have memories of my parents being like talking to other people and being like oh yeah he just
does that.
And then I grew out of it at some point.
But definitely now that I'm on this new journey of acceptance, I'm looking back going, yeah
if I saw someone do that I would be like I'm pretty sure they're on the spectrum.
That's so good man.
I'm glad that you're finally sort of recontextualizing things.
Are you trying to do it in a way where you didn't get caught, though, or did you care?
I think I just had, I was so compelled to do it that it was like, it didn't even enter
into my mind, not to.
Right.
So that's the other thing is like, it wasn't even like, I'm doing this person a favor.
It's just like, I have to do this.
Like look at that awesome piece of limb that's on their coat.
Right, right.
That's like about, I think I've said it before, when I set myself on fire in
Spanish class.
Oh my God.
So like, you know, like, never...
This is, okay, sorry, sorry.
you go on, this is the perfect dichotomy of NL stories versus just the stories.
This is unbelievable.
We're getting a game study right now.
Well, you know, you ever, like, take a lighter and, like, you light a sock and it just goes
like, poosh, over the, over the lint?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, wear it like, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, where it's like the little
tiny, like, fibers burn off, but it doesn't light on fire.
But it doesn't, like, real quick, like it, like, it, right, right, it sweeps over
the sock.
Okay, so I was wearing like a flannelish kind of jacket
and playing with a lighter at my desk
in Spanish class in like seventh grade.
And essentially, whooshed my entire jacket.
Like there was like a fireball
and it was right as the teacher like looked at me.
And I was asked to leave class.
I was sure the teacher was like,
this is gonna be hard to explain
how a kid self-immolated in my Spanish class.
Yeah, yeah.
That teacher was crazy.
I don't know if I told this I there was a there was a bad boy in my class this kid Keith and
He would like get into fights with the teacher and like calling him a lot of words. You shouldn't say to anyone
And one day the Spanish teacher challenged him to an arm wrestling. That's awesome
Wow, and then he took off his shirt
I've heard he's ever seen a movie each of the killer at the end when the dude pulls off his clothes
And he's the most jacked man on there
Mr. Charles was his name. He took off his shirt. He was this little nerdy guy with a pocket protector
He takes his shirt off. He's the most toned jacked man. I've ever seen in my life
And he slams this kid's hands like through the desk. That's awesome, man
It was the craziest thing I ever saw people will say you can't do that anymore
Yeah, I'll teach you can't take their shirt off in Spanish class anymore
It was so fucking funny
That's sick. Yeah very groundskeeper willy
This is so like literally the only connection to this is that you said the word flannel
about a minute and a half ago.
But my wife got this really nice pair of flannel pajamas
like three months ago.
And I was thinking, I was like, those pajamas are really nice.
I should go get some for myself.
I went to their website.
They have 283 women's pajamas.
They have one men's pajama.
And it's a shirt that says one for me
and one for my snow means.
I was freaking mad, man.
and it's all like ninety one percent clearance like they clearly are not
fucking with the mail market at all and they're just trying to get out but i was
like so offended i was like the commas are awesome
i think it is a more it is a more wife coded experience to have a bespoke
little pair of pj's though is the thing they probably understand that they're
not they're not clearing a lot
on the guys who are just wearing their worst shirt and a pair of boxes
It's just so crazy.
I mean, when it's like in cursive red font on a white T like a vote for Pedro,
almost stylistic, but a Christmas novelty.
But man, Pedro was on cameo.
I saw that.
You know, nice cameos from Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite.
Wow, damn, you mean to tell me their NFT movie didn't fucking have him set for life.
Oh, my God.
It was an NFT TV show.
It was an NFT TV show that was that the one with with Seth Green where they were like in the
bar with like the characters or is that one I don't know exactly but it was it was the entire
Napoleon Dynamite cast re re including like what's his name John Cryer or whatever.
They all got back together get got the gang back together for a NFT animated TV show or
something and of course the good folks over at over at gaggle had the full
series that's the only reason I knew about it so we can what we can watch and
react to that on the stream I'm not sure if it's still on there I don't know I
saw a little bit mad about it yeah well I thought the whole point was that
you're not supposed to be able to like possess it I guess you could consume it
but you can't I don't own it I don't know what the game plan was yeah for eyes
Only I thought it was like a Ben Shkreli Wu Tang album sort of release model
Imagine that your show fungled. I can't even imagine man. Yeah
Rescue on gaggle like right now. Oh my god, my dream show on gaggle which show bar rescue
I
Told me and Jeff have told the gaggle guys in person at TwitchCon
We're like you need to do anything you can to get bar rescue on yeah, yeah for sure because we don't have any sway
I feel like there's like
It seems to me to be one of those shows that may sneakily be like the fifth highest grossing television
Yes, absolutely going for so long
I think I've told this before but before Paramount Plus came out and it was like right after my daughter was born
So I was spending a lot of time on the couch
We had the Paramount channel and I would watch Bar Rescue
but they would stretch one episode out to like two and a half hours
and all of the ads were just the same clips from other Paramount channel shows
where like people go get tattoos and stuff like that.
So you would be watching like four episodes of television concurrently
while just watching one program and it was so insane.
you would like the sun would be in a different position by the time the bar
rescue episode finished
I still love it
I don't believe that it can be fake
because there's a I I don't know how John Taffer could go to like a deadbeat dad
and be like hey pretend to be the worst
alcoholic deadbeat piece of shit dad of all time who took out like a quarter
million dollars in debt
and then put it in your son's name and then let us film you for like scale
or something like that I think it's real because if you look up are any of those bars still in
in business like 90% of them failed which I think is like that to me is like oh this was this is a
hundred percent real they all went out of business in like a week after John Taffer left but they
taught the bartender how to make espresso martinis I know I thought they got the new they got the
the new POS and everything with like the 16 different sodas on it the best bar
rescue episodes are the ones where he openly detests the people working there
and I mean obviously the best one is the Pirates episode of course I mean there's
no question the guys who run the pirate bar and one of the pirates all day
featuring the line from John Taffer which is do you want to I believe it's
do you want to put your kid through college do you want to dress up as a
pirate all day do you want to put your kid through college and then it
cuts to them and they're like really thinking about it.
Oh yeah, they turned it into like the corporate bar and grill.
Yeah, literally, so that's he so clearly hated them that he was
like, well, there's a bunch of there's like an office nearby
there's a bunch of office buildings nearby. So we're
going to rebrand your pirates themed bar and grill, which
is called pirates with a Z and we're going to call it
Corporate bar and grill and it's just like a glaze and glottal.
It's so good.
Oh, you hated it so much.
Yeah.
There's an episode of Kitchen Nightmares America I always think about
when I realized that like, I don't think Gordon Ramsay really had the best interest of these
restaurateurs in mind in every single episode.
It's like a pizzeria in Brooklyn, literally in New York City.
And when they, it's like old school, you know, like white tile walls,
like the checkered tablecloths and stuff like that he rips all that out and then puts up like
graffiti stencil that says like brooklyn on it and then like all these pictures of like new york
city landmarks as if you're in like an italian restaurant in the midwest or something like that
yeah yeah i'm like oh the vibes are like so bad oh man i when i was in florida there was a place
called Brooklyn Water Bagel, and they'd had TVs describing how they matched their water
to be the same pH and chemical makeup of Brooklyn water.
And the walls are decorated with the names of famous notable New Yorkers, and Harvey Weinstein
was a huge letter to him.
You don't want them written on your wall these days.
It was really bad.
And this was like after the fact, they really didn't scrape that off.
Because they put the no smoking red cross through Harvey Weinstein's name
They also said when you were walking out, they said, A, forget about it on the wall
What a place
The bagels are actually pretty dope though, they were fine
For Florida, they were good bagels
It was also bullshit because they had people listed on there who were like, they had Billy Joel
It's like you're not from Brooklyn, from Long Island
Famously from Long Island. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
God, I'm sure I've told this to but one of my favorite stories is in line with a
buddy of mine
Getting interviewed he worked at a record store and got interviewed for some newspaper
They asked for like a quote about Billy Joel after he's like drunk drove into a fence or something. Yeah, and
He said something disparaging so Billy Joel showed up to the record store on a motorcycle
Demanded to see him. He wasn't working that day. So he just left a note that said dear Anthony. Fuck you
That is kind of awesome
It is pretty sick
He still has that picture on Instagram
I look at it sometimes and smile
I don't want to take the side of the drunk driver
But in terms of responses, that's pretty good
That's pretty dangerous
Can I be honest?
I didn't realize I was the claw for the first three rotations
I was wondering, yeah
I was like, where the hell is my guy?
Oh god, and the video of Billy Joel freaking out and like kicking over throwing the keyboard?
Oh my god.
Billy Joel's got some good crash outs.
I don't even think Piano Man's that good.
Nah, it's- yeah, but the longest time is a banger.
Oh, he can do whatever he wants as far as I'm concerned.
Certain theatricality to it?
Yeah.
Can't disagree with that.
the uh...
billy dot it's actually still going on the billy joe has had sort of a vice
grip on the city of chicago for a very long time where
he would come to town
and he would sell out really feel the baseball stadium
and it it would
completely dominate all of the traffic patterns and it just everything all of
the stores and it all of the restaurants and everything
on the north side for like a week preceding and proceeding the concert
because everybody it's just Billy Joel was the event of the summer.
That's like Garth Brooks in Edmonton.
Really?
It's like the same sort of thing.
Yeah, like his name is up in the rafters in the Oilers Arena next to all their
cup banners.
It's like Garth Brooks did like 12 concerts in a row or something in like
two weeks or something in Edmonton.
So rocks.
It's so crazy that Garth Brooks of all people actually seems like kind of cool.
Yes!
Yeah, it is.
I mean, come on. You know, I had to take it on a lark.
It's so funny that you went to like Garth Brooks in Edmonton
and my touchstone for that was going to be like,
oh, it's like when the blue man group played the slush puppy place in Kingston, Ontario.
So damn snarl on Barrick Street, man.
I
Garth Brooks, I like Chris Gaines I could do without take them I leave them. Yeah
Who's the best guy that has Chris Gaines style hair because there's there's Chris Gaines and Keith Urban
Yeah, I don't know if anybody else really has that like mid-2000s Misha Barton style
I'll straighten straw like hair.
Kate from John and Kate plus eight.
OK.
Oh, yeah.
Kate Goslin, yeah.
Yeah.
Do you follow John Goslin on, I mean, you're not on Instagram,
but anyone who's on Instagram should follow him on Instagram,
because he is a professional DJ now.
And he's constantly promoting.
He's doing shows in small town Pennsylvania chilies.
It's really awesome.
Oh my god, that's so fucking great.
Yeah, that was a huge bummer.
You must have at least eight kids
Well, it was plus eight did they ever as a back-end another kid into them
Yeah, did they ever bring another kid into the mix? I don't know
Damn, that is crazy. What I mean, what if you've got your John and Kate plus eight
But your your Kate plus eight is from a previous merit like your previous marriage is the Kate plus eight
Yeah, cuz then what it would it then be like John and Kate plus
you know 10 or would it be John and Kate plus 8 plus 2 we have to do like a bed
mass thing in parentheses yeah it's an order of operations yeah yeah yeah
so I always wondered like when they did Octomoms C-section did they give any
thought to like the order that they take the babies out in there was it just
kind of like you know hey that's the style yeah it's a crane game they just
Just put a big scoop in and just hold it on.
Really, if you look, they have the birth times on Wikipedia.
They got all eight kids out in like three minutes, which is wow.
That's crazy.
You've looked up Otto Mom's kids' birth times on Wikipedia?
Yeah.
Well, I mean, it's kind of like my modern lint obsession,
I guess.
You're walking up there picking the babies out of her?
I think it's like, OK, that's disgusting.
He does that all the way down the road
That's gross
This mothafucka is getting two stars
When did I get to zero stars?
I had a two star turn a couple of turns ago
I drink your star
your star yes man Daniel star of you yes that's good I'm glad that you guys
have embraced me watching there will be blood and doing the Daniel Plain View
impression literally like 19 years after everyone got it out it's really funny
I think it's I think it's timeless I think it's timeless I think it should
always be brought back one day that movie's gonna make it to YouTube shorts
and then the impression is going to go crazy
absolutely
I mean it seems right for like you know there's there's so many clippable like
there really is
you know what I'm thinking of why don't I own this when he's pointing at the map
why don't I own this I think I think there's a lot you could do with that
absolutely mean template absolutely yes
you'll never believe what this man did to his son
yeah i was gonna say like you can see that on probably like x right now like
oh he's crazy for this
it's like that scene in the movie
i mean think about how all of the like divorced republican guys who can use the
i've abandoned my child video
oh come on
i follow a lot of them on instagram
they'd have to stop watching uh... the campaign first
The campaign is a pretty
live coded movie, if I may.
I really want to watch it because I love Zach Galifianakis,
but I really don't want to watch it because I hate Will Ferrell.
It's like exactly as mediocre as you would expect.
Yeah.
And I know I'm sorry, I know I'm coming to you.
I'm coming to you at a very Will Ferrell time of your life,
so I'm sorry to have to, to have to, you know...
You could at present this may be the only time in my life you could name any movie and I could within
30 seconds get you to will ferrell from that wow
Wow 30 30 seconds is not as impressive as I would have thought but
There's no way why the fuck are we doing this one my thumb hurts already our wrist hurts
Wow that might have been an all-time performance for me. I felt locked in I think I'm gonna be at like a 54
87 is my all-time high 101 for me well but I mean just
just with my hand on the whole time it's crazy oh oh wow okay okay I was so
confident I I tied myself got the clip of when we did motion games it was like
I'm jacking off in the same way it's yeah very funny so it's fucking out
John C. Riley not being in the campaign is kind of crazy but I guess that was
like Zach Galifianakis season right at that point yeah very much so because they were like what is
he gonna do after the hangover and then I also like Zach Galifianakis but it turns out the answer
is like basically nothing essentially nothing I think he really did not like the spotlight because
he like he like moved he did like the classic celebrity thing of moving out to a farm after
he made he lived he lives on the he lives in the Gulf Islands off the coast of really really
I'm pretty sure he does. Yeah. Good for him. Yeah.
I also like that. Will Ferrell has done like one dramatic role in his entire life.
And then his best friends of yesteryear, John C. Riley alternates between doing
like the dumbest fucking movies of all time. And then there's like, oh, you know what?
I'll be in Magnolia and then I'll do Holmes and Watson and then maybe I'll be in Chicago.
I think the problem is that you are not getting nearly enough subs for your birthday
man.
Let's hear it.
Let's come on, Chet.
We're back.
Last time we were raising money for charity, this time we're raising money for Justin's
birthday.
We need to get Justin $125,000.
$50,000. And the good news is, you probably won't need to raise for the 42nd birthday,
you know, probably.
Yeah, I mean, specifically speaking, that's part of the last we all got to do.
Subbing to Fix Justin, thank you.
You definitely can't die before 42 because that's like the Redditor birthday, right?
Oh, right.
Is it really?
It's the answer to life, the universe and everything.
Yeah, I love you so embarrassing.
It's like a guy to the galaxy.
I'm like dying before.
Thank you, I have it.
That's really, it's just a tragic story.
And then you have 69, obviously, right after that.
Right, and then I had to get back to him.
There's all the only number left under that
is kind of a problematic number.
Yeah.
That's the numbers that mean something.
You want to die before that.
You have to die before that.
So you probably, if you're going to do it, do it at 87,
for sure.
Yeah.
I mean, Ryan, you're fucked your whole life,
unfortunately.
Yes, that's true.
I was, for anyone looking for context,
was born in a problematic year. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, didn't stop a lot of people from putting
that at the end of their username online, but also tags. Yeah, they didn't know about
all that stuff back then. Or absolutely. I think a lot of people still don't because
I still get a couple of what we kind of thought of it as something that we don't do anymore.
And then the times changed and we were sort of like, Oh, I think you you were born
in a very brief window where people decided they didn't want to do that anymore and and
that window closed so quickly because we were back to doing it pretty shortly thereafter
right right around the time that everybody had their gamer tags locked in.
That's true.
That's true.
My birthday is lucky as hell.
I guess I shouldn't say we.
That's true.
That's true.
Yeah, that's a good point.
My CS rating for a moment was 14888, I was like, oh no, oh my goodness, we got a Q again.
We got a Q up again.
I do need to get my premier ranking to quadruple 8.
That would be so huge for my Chinese era.
A lot of people ask me what's wrong with 888.
We don't got to do anything.
Yeah, let's, you know, better you know.
know like the worst guy of the 20th century and no matter it's both sides of
the aisle seemed to pretty much agree on it if I may um no not corey
Oh, wow.
Oh, this game.
Oh, this one.
I am so bad at this one.
What am I going to do?
All we got to do is not have two people off.
Thanks, fellas.
God damn it.
You know what?
We go from zero to zero.
That's true.
Yeah, yeah.
I thought about oh, I mean, oh, that's fine. That's fine. I dropped the ball on that one's on me. It's okay
It's okay
Well, okay shit, I think I know how to play this one. I'm saying on this no matter what oh
I
Know
That's good. I couldn't read Stefan on it. Oh
This is that's fine. That's okay. It's our only play. I think yeah, I agree
Okay, all right
What do you think's gonna happen?
Thanks
I meant to jump on I
Have a theory about this game my theory is that people love to jump on the button
When in doubt bet on them jumping on the button
Saying that they wouldn't jump on the button
They would be like, I'm not that predictable.
I also thought that Justin wasn't going to.
I really, it felt nice to, is my thing.
Thanks.
No, no, no, the buzzer beater.
Oh my God.
Oh my God, oh my God.
Is it a tie?
Whoa, coin!
We each get to keep our coins up.
I didn't mean to keep the coins, yeah.
Yeah.
You guys get one coin less than we did that's that was never nine rounds of it
It's so fucked up that it the first time we did a 30 turn game just and I remember being like this is a marathon
And now it just feels so ordinary. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Why didn't the game of Mario Party take three hours? I
This this is enough to psychologically break. I would say 75% of the population that has played Mario Party
Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, and you can lose all your stars on the final turn
Absolutely. Yeah, it's a nightmare. That's what makes it so magical. I
Still do you think we we got to do a dope upon Marathon these days. Oh, man
Those are I have never seen Luke or or Ricky as mad as they got. Yeah, that was that was a beautiful stream
I say it often, but it did irreparable damage to mine and Luke's friend.
Not damage, but it irreparably transformed my new relationship.
I don't know if you were privy to it, but Luke and I did two 14-ish hour streams to
beat one game of Doke-upon Kingdom Connect, and it was life-changing for sure.
literally fight each other right like you you choose to attack another player and
kill them you can fuck each other over massively yeah the game is more based on
chance than Mario Party is it's it's insane and then there's also like an
uh like a progression like an RPG progression system layer layered over
top of it that you can just flip a coin bad or play rock paper scissors bad and
all of it is gone and you also monetized the stream to do other
Well, that was worth it.
We were also torturing each other with different punishments.
Luke sent me like 35 cups of Domino's Marinerasauce.
There was a lot of psychological damage done that day.
God, I'm remembering Fawn Leetzi when you all had Treat Stream on Go Off Kings and you
just kept getting sent tuna subs.
The last time we ever used, that was back when I lived in LA and the chat sent us, I believe
it was two dozen Tuna Maranara subs.
Tuna Maranara?
Yeah.
And they were just in our fridge for like a week and I ate a bunch of them and they
were disgusting.
I wonder if it is worth going for the little hits here, because every time I go for big
hits I am getting a hit
Oh dude I didn't even realize we had to hit them
I am just avoiding the fireballs
That is good too to avoid them
Oh yeah you are at zero
If you hold down A you can charge it up like up to three times
I've actually never done this before, I had no idea what was happening for a second.
Phase 2, which I'm going to tell you is pretty...exactly the same as we know.
I recently am just thinking about the different sort of textural or maybe behavioral things
that I've had to recontextualize with myself, but I was actually just realizing on my stream
on Monday, I just had this random memory of, I used to chew on my arm a lot when I was
a kid and I don't know if that is a normal thing to do.
There were people in the chat who were saying that they also did it, but I did it a lot.
I think that's one of the classic signs.
Really?
Yeah.
Really?
a part of your own body
i mean if i had long hair i would for sure
yeah no question
it is it is really tempting to suck on the hair i had to i had to stop myself
from doing it
it's when i had long hair you know two years ago
and we're getting to the point where you're like well that means everybody
sort of got it but then you got to remember what website we're on
right now that is not necessarily a representative
sample of yes absolutely of your 20% itself selects you know almost almost
without failure you know our interest in score around oh yeah get out of here
that is like saying man everyone on this hockey message board really likes
hockey I also used to chew on my PlayStation controllers like crazy I
I would gnaw the rubber off of the analog sticks.
Oh my god.
Yeah, I was a bit of a demon, unfortunately.
Damn.
I was a god.
I think my thing as a kid, you know,
like the cap of a soda bottle, there's
like the little rubber bit that you can pull out.
I would chew on it.
I would chew on it.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It felt so good that you want to.
Remember Chibli moaning with his Invisalign?
That's how I would get that same sensation.
Yeah, I mean, I don't want to be a hypocrite, but that's crazy.
What the fuck?
I do have a man.
I can all right.
I'm going to offer up some collateral here just because just so we're all just so we're all we all know we're on the left.
Okay, so you guys know that, you know, I'm willing to be vulnerable.
I did get really self-conscious a couple of years ago that my face was asymmetrical.
My jaw specifically was asymmetrical. And so I bought a product called the
Jawser size, which is essentially, which is a dog toy for humans.
It is a rubber dog toy for humans.
I have to imagine you are familiar with the Jaws of Scythe because of how insane the guy
who makes it is.
I know what you're talking about.
I mean I am also thinking about how we've talked about doing on stream Kong Night where
we get a Kong to peanut butter and trying to get peanut butter out.
Dog toy week would go pretty hard.
Dog toy week would go pretty hard.
Now I will say the dog toy is satisfying to chew on like physically, but like mentally
and emotionally it is so deleterious that I had to hang it up.
That makes sense.
Incredible.
You were just chewing on like one side basically.
Well so yeah, I was kind of leaning it over to the left side like pushing it towards
left but it kind of locks in on your front teeth.
Supposedly, if you just do it, it will even out your jaw as what they said, but both sides
will get huge.
Yeah, exactly.
But also, there's a lot of cultural stuff now with jawline, so I guess I'm glad I kind
of jumped off of that.
You got out at the right time.
I will say, I do like eating chili out of my Puzzle Mat, I find that very enriching.
Oh yeah, that's just nice.
said Ricky's got it stored in a shoebox in his closet like a retired cop's gun
ready to break it out break it out for one more tour yeah yeah i do literally have it right behind
oh my yeah it makes a little sound makes a little sound too like a little sucking sound like a
fucking binky or something so really there's nothing there's no redeeming factors to it
But yes, the guy who makes the Jawsercise is a complete fucking maniac, and his Instagram videos are extremely funny.
Is he like, is he like, nudical level, insane?
The nudical shit is so fucking funny.
Not to that degree, not to the nudicals degree, but he has the same passion.
He's like, he's more like if the nudicals guy was also really into like going to Hawaii every year to catch the waves, you know, like...
I can't recommend enough to the people across the chats to watch Tom Walker's video essay on
Newticles. It's so fucking funny.
Newticles for the uninformed is an old man made to essentially reinstate his dog's confidence
by putting a plastic pair of fake balls back into his dog's nutsack after being neutered.
It's no fucking funny.
And they're a maniac.
Also the guy is a complete maniac, he wrote a whole book on Newticles, it's a real journey.
Tom bought the book and a hat and a shirt from him and when it arrived it smelled so strongly
of cigar smoke that it ruined his entire apartment.
I'm trying to own anything insane from any insane people.
I will be handing out copies of K-Pax to everyone who comes up here next week, so I just got
to get rid of them at this point.
Well, he's alright.
I've never seen it.
I guess I have to watch it probably at this point.
It will be awesome to put it on like 12 different devices simultaneously.
And almost like Hugh Jackman and Swordfish when he's building the algorithm to hack
the bank or whatever.
Or like the architect in the Matrix.
I learned how to hack so I can get sucked off.
Why did I do this?
That's how it goes.
That's how it goes.
Oh, man, jacking off, like re-enacting the scene, but you're just jacking off with a gun
to your head.
So I was just really thinking about that.
Dave had such a funny bit idea for the sub-a-thon, but I can't find a curtain in time, but to
tell Chat that I have a privacy curtain to jack off while I'm in the sub-a-thon.
And the curtain just goes up behind me.
One of my all-time favorite subreddits is rslashcrazyideas and there was a post that I screen
shot of the other day from my user cheesemaster66 and the title of the post is a blanket that
jerks you off and then in the body of the post it says maybe with some kind of AI technology.
It is a crazy idea, but it might just be crazy enough to work.
Guy with like the manual normal blanket that jacks you off like
It's just putting AI in everything
Oh man
I gotta check out this subreddit
I've been a big fan of me and JF really like r slash popcorn buckets
Oh, yes, dude
I follow them because of you because you guys talking about it
Which are the guys who are obsessed with all the promotional popcorn buckets and they're like trying to sell them on there
It's a guy saying over dune. Yeah, that's that was a big one
That was a big one, but there's guys who are just buying all of them and like they yeah, they go crazy on it
And the popcorn buckets are like 70 bucks now. It's fucking crazy. I
Think about that jibber-dee subreddit. Yeah, he told us the Fuggler trading or Fuggler collectors
London drugs and I see
Fugglers, I'm like I think about those posts. Hey, what are some good fugglers to buy for a for a beginner Fuggler?
What is a Fuggler?
It's like an ugly little plastic collectible toy
Oh yeah, what the fuck?
Incredible
I was going to say, I love Chhibli, Chhibli put me on the r slash cigarettes
Yeah, that one's really good too
The r slash cigarettes is so funny
It's like, ah, anyone else love that first siggy of the morning?
And a bunch of people are applying like, hell yeah
Yes, yes bro
R slash stim is also very good
stems also very good i was going to say our slash split our slash stems is
really up there for me they i mean they love talking about jacking off it's
great yes yes it's almost exclusively about jacking off i was a lot of the
machine that's for a while
and our slash net this is the same thing it's it's
largely like every other
uh...
i'm trying to get the right word is that every other like a vision subreddit
is like really sad
Our smash meth is like, I just took meth and it's awesome.
Does anyone want to come over and jerk off together?
Yep.
Like you would go sort like top posts all time
and like 70% of the posts are like that.
I'm just so, just to be clear,
I'm not saying you should do meth.
I'm just saying it's interesting that the data points
all seem to point in one direction.
Yeah, yeah.
I imagine it's gotta feel great to jack off on meth.
Absolutely.
i mean look if they if the user testimonials are anything to go by it's
exclusively a positive
yeah i mean it really feels great to jack off that's the only major better
now stephen i do know you have a pretty intimate connection with our slash
math as well
well we had the uh... the sound alert with me it was our last stems i think
it was me reading out the post mars last stems
but the guy
talking about a night he had where he was all stemmed up
and he climbed up a tree or whatever, and then jacked off.
I believe in the tree, and was talking about how incredible his life was, and all of the
older applies are like, yeah man, this is what's all about.
This is what life is all about.
That's so sick.
The only quote that I remember you saying from that was, life is fucking amazing and
I truly mean it.
And every that being your post about jacking off in a tree on meth.
Oh, it's so good.
Meth is awesome, but I cannot recommend it.
No, yeah, that's so fair.
It definitely does seem to ruin your life or contribute to the destruction of your life.
Yeah, yeah, I feel I just I can't try anything that makes you feel that good,
because like I'll I'll just like I'm like a rat hitting the button, you know.
the button that drives the car yeah like a mouse and motorcycle or steward
little type situation right here right I do like all the guys who have like the
different jack-off methods to obviously like the stranger oh yeah is a classic
I like the one where you sit on your penis for a while until your penis goes
numb and then it feels like you're jacking off a different guy yeah yeah
that's a good one hi to I remember my friends used to roast another friend of
R's because he revealed that he jacks off with the snake charmer motion.
I remember them calling it the snake charmer, but he was essentially like, pomming it.
Imagine you're like, I don't know how to describe it, I can do it with my hands, but you're
kind of like going down, jamming the head into the pom and then gently pulling your
hands back up.
What the fuck?
What?
Yeah, yeah.
I have no, I cannot even visualize and I think maybe there is a mental block where I am choosing
not to visualize.
Well, I just saw Justin do it on his skin and there was a lot of finger motion involved.
The curtain wasn't up.
No, no, no curtain.
I don't see it at all.
When I was in university, I apologize Justin because I told you this about 10 times,
You know, I one of my favorite events that can happen is like a bunch of people
Being vulnerable and one person sharing something that obviously they think is like a shared truth
But it's something that only they do yeah, and that was my my roommate
We were talking about like what you do with the cum after you jerk off and then
like he was like I just
just like keep a glass next to my bed and I shoot into the glass and then when it
gets too full I wash it. We're all like what are you talking about and he was like what
do you guys do? We're like we do it into a tissue and he's like but that's like
bad for the environment so I just do it into the glass and wait so he's is he
dumping a full glass of calm down the sink the way I understand it is that it
might get like a quarter full or a third full and then he would be like that's
too much but it was like you're living with like seven people and he was
taking cups out of the like shared pantry and
But where did he learn this behavior?
I don't know!
Because he went from living at home to living in the college dorm!
So he's not doing it in his childhood bedroom!
So being like, you know how everyone had like the puke bowl and you're like, well don't
eat popcorn out of that.
He had like the family jackoff come.
I remember when you told that story once because it made me think of Cumsanta.
I don't know if anyone knows about Come Santa, not to be like old 4chan.
There was a guy who every Christmas you would show up and post a picture of his 2-liter bottles
full of cum.
And every year the collection would grow, and then he just stopped showing up one year.
Everyone went, oh no.
Yeah, I wonder what happened to Come Santa.
He had years of cum.
Crazy.
I think they were dated, dude.
Now, Stefan, it does feel like you just did a diet version of the cum mug.
I was thinking that with the puke bowl.
Yeah, the puke bowl.
I kind of just glazed the bag.
Oh, the puke bowl.
We had like a metal bowl that was like the family puke bowl.
Like, did no...
Family?
I feel like people have this.
Your whole family would puke at the bowl?
Well, we did not, like, not at the same time.
You're right.
I thought it was like...
If someone was sick, they'd get the bowl.
In the frat house, you would have like a bowl occasionally
that maybe someone had to throw up in but no no no this is this is a this is a
family a lot of people in chat had families with puke bowls I've never heard
of designated puke well that's crazy we would just get the trash can from the
bathroom yeah yeah it was always the trash can bathroom either that or like
ideally you just go to the toilet well yeah like you know if you're if you're
laid up in bed you might need something well if you're sitting in the
toilet like shit in crazy style you have to puke in the trash can yeah I
I think in that case, yeah.
And the toilet, by the way, we were talking about where to nut before.
The toilet, the ideal place to nut.
Yeah, and so the tank.
You want to talk about environmentally unfriendly.
Come on.
You better be nutting into a low flow toilet.
Yeah, otherwise, it's 20 liters of water
for like 10 milliliters of cum.
It's like making an almond or something.
Well, I guess that's why they call it nuts.
Wow.
Let me buy this, you prick.
Oh, okay. I had to get rid of something else.
So you won't let me.
I've reminded myself of one of my own hyper fixations where there are just certain things that
rattle around in my brain for all of time.
Certain things where it just puts a permanent bookmark.
And one of those things was I used to watch a lot of Comedy Central as a kid.
And on Comedy Central, maybe it was Adult Swim, I can't remember, there was a show called Little Bush.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I watched a lot of Little Bush and the only thing that I remember about it was Little Bush, the conceit of the show was, what if all of the politicians of the early aughts were elementary school students?
And they were all in the same school together and all I remember from the show is one scene
Where they're all giving Al Gore a swirly and he says I hope as book as his head is getting dunked in the toilet
He says I hope this is a low-flow toilet and I remember as a kid thinking
That's the perfect joke because not only does he wish it?
It's a low-flow toilet for swirly purposes, but also because he's in for environmental purposes.
And I remember as a kid, being just at the perfect age to understand both vectors that the joke was working on,
and I was like, this is the smartest joke I've ever made.
And not saying, oh, I don't want to get swirlyed.
He's accepting that he's going to get swirly.
Right, exactly.
Boy, is the natural way of things is that the strong prey on the weak.
Right yeah, we got this right and all the we can hope is you know that they're that they're they're being preyed on has as minimal of an environmental
You think anybody has ever gotten well surely people have gotten swirly before it just feels like a
It's just what am I it's kind of fucked up that it put me
I
Was we're so fucking stupid fuck fuck you fucked me
Drift compatibility
Oh god
Have you guys seen freaks and geeks? Oh, yeah
classic joke well then this is this sucks for you Ricky because what you were
saying is giving very freaks and geeks vibes when Bill played by Martin Star is
home alone waiting for his mom to get home from work and he is just watching
it's very Jodhapata he's watching Gary Shannell and guest hosts the Tonight
Show and it's clearly like a life-affirming moment for him like
he's laughing so hard you can see like food stuck in his teeth and stuff
like that while the who is playing in the background and it's like this is this
is the character of Bill that is you in my head with little bush that you're
having like this Eureka moment that's like this is what comedy could be
oh that's fantastic I haven't seen that show in a minute oh fuck I do always
think of that that perfect Simpsons joke to go back to Mad Magazine where
a part of the host are reading mad magazine and they're like, uh,
there's this, uh, spiral agnoguy, but he must work there.
I don't know that one.
They're really, they're really, they're really making fun of him a lot.
Right, right.
Oh, I don't know.
Peach is, oh, right.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, yeah.
We have to bring peach gifts.
So she'll love us.
Taming of the show.
Oh, God.
The game.
This, this one is the, this one is the friendship ruin.
Oh, David, he's got a Luigi's got to do by.
chocolate matcha latte on the bottom
He's just gonna go crazy for that Dubai chocolate matcha latte
The greed will be your downfall Ryan. Oh no. I mean he's out. I'll fuck me. I'm getting good. Do it. Okay. Oh
God Christ alive. No, no
No, oh my god
The worst day in my life. Oh fuck. Oh shit. I'm on a generational run. Oh my god. I'm getting there in the perfect line
Let's go
God damn it. Yeah, I'm just see she's not
I even get to deposit anything or what?
Has a long walk Wow, holy I got body
Cash me outside that's crazy, bro
I'm far behind. I have to go big donut every time. Okay, big donut
shit
The other side of this I have to go big donut every time
Oh, I pressed it by accident hitting the confirm button too many times. Sorry, Justin. Oh my god. Oh my god
Get three stuages
I mean
I'm not picking the most doughnuts, so I'm picking the doughnuts that look the best
Oh
Larry Curly and ship
It's so fucked up because there's enough doughnuts for each
Okay, okay this one I feel like you guys have perfected the game theory on so I don't feel confident
I was good fucking on this one
I watch Apollo play this and it makes me sick.
Hahahaha!
Okay, okay.
Hoh!
Nuch, nuch.
Look at that, I just stole that from them.
She really said give me a jewel the size of my whole goddamn body.
3D Venice?
Oh y'all are never getting to those.
I believe every woman deserves a jewel the size of her body.
I can't believe she let you bring that back.
I don't think there's any hope for me, man.
I think I was locked in.
messed up that like I looked I was like how did I miss this meteor and I saw that the weather
report was like oh it happened at 9 29 p.m. and I was like that explains it I was
that's oh man what was it be honest when was the last time you saw 9 29 p.m. it's
it's pretty rare to be honest with you the first time my daughter had a sleepover at
her grandparents house I went to bed at like 12 15 because we saw the I think we saw
the 830 showing of no other choice at the movie theater. I really was embarrassingly like 830
movie like I might need a cup of coffee to make it through this. Because then after the
movie, I stayed awake the whole time. I had to drive home after that and then there's
all the brushing your teeth etc. You know I don't need to tell you guys what it's
like sure sure I know I know what bedtime is like I gotta tell you being
being old and staying away till 3 a.m. really fucks you up if you feel like a
hungover when you wake up yeah oh guys I still feel fucked up and it's 2 p.m.
there's like like wait waking up late just feels terrible quitting drinking
made it clear to me that actually like 65% of the hell of a hangover is
is just that your sleep was awful.
That's all it is.
Yeah, I stopped drinking two years ago
because I would have like a couple beers during the stream
at night, right?
And it was enough to just like totally destroy
my entire morning.
Yeah.
I would wake up so tired.
I'm on seven months sober now.
Hell yeah.
I'm on seven months fully sober.
I quit vaping a year ago, can you believe that?
Wow, the birthday is the anniversary.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Yeah, yeah.
as somebody who's never drank in their life but goes to bed at three a.m. every
night i can confirm that your life gets really ruined by sleeping badly
that is exactly like colin colin has never had a drink his entire life and
he stays up until two every single night
yeah that is that is that is my life i guess two is probably my usual bedtime
i mean there's two times people that stay up that late and it's
alcoholics and people who really are into like ogre battle sixty four
the new bizarre character today so it's looking like I'm gonna have to push that back to three maybe four
and nurses uh who are the heroes in our society of course yes yeah yeah well
someone said you said alcohol already so that the joke seems like so incoherent that I can't
It's about time someone like brought them the task.
Yeah, listen we banged on the pots and pans for like a year and a half and now it's time
to pay the piper.
Right exactly.
Yeah.
Nurses, you mean those boozehounds?
Get a bat here.
Layabouts.
I'm not going that way fuck that.
I do love posting every so often like easiest job nurse school teacher firemen hardest job
podcaster streamer streamer slash streamer yeah yeah I have I have said it a million times
that streaming is much harder than the video of those shirtless guys clamping that muddy
clamp onto that body they're literally doing too much they don't have to be on during
that no no not at all
i have the impulse within me as well
but it did the worst part is that it's not this ingenuous like whatever i see
a post from teachers that are like the kids are so stupid these days like my
first impulse is like
whose fault is that
right you have five stars with the fuck
yeah yeah yeah i just paid attention
What the hell happened? I haven't been paying attention!
Ah, damn.
Jesus Christ!
My pockets are getting better by the way.
I don't think anyone's sick of enough a chance time to just like force it.
No, I am saving her custom die just to...
I really like the idea that the entire game is completely meaningless until the last turn.
Turn yeah, so I'm saving this custom die and the hope that I could land on chance time
Even even if it's my own fate that gets sealed. Yeah. Yeah
I like closing my eyes for chance time. I think that's the true way to do it I
Mean if my eyes are open or closed the the result will remain the same because I I feel like I have no influence over over it
That is true. I close my eyes to tell myself that I'm like nerfing myself.
I feel like what you're saying is that in such a chaotic universe the only way to exercise some control is to accept that you have none.
Chaonic. Did I say Chaonic?
I felt like you did.
That's like a Sonic the Hedgehog thing, right?
I love this one. It's just the hold down for everyone.
Yeah.
There's Crash Bandicoot.
What the fuck?
Oh yeah, yeah.
And you can't like to fuck each other over, huh?
You can kind of push each other, but...
You can fucking chudder over it.
There's some fucking to be done.
Oh, Ricky.
Wow, I didn't know you could get up there.
I'm living dangerous, baby.
I st- Oh, God, I believe.
That was a mess.
It's an embarrassing one to lose.
A crash band that could sort of...
You know what it is? It's like when the Beach Boys made pet sounds
and then the Beatles went, oh look we can do that.
Never mind.
Who's the guy that kicked out of the Beatles? That's you right now man.
Ironically isn't that George Best?
isn't either one they are peeped at.
I was gonna say John Lennon, but he didn't really get kicked out.
No.
I got like spiritually kicked out, I guess.
I always think of, because it's embarrassingly on my workout playlist,
I love in happiness is a warm gun when John Lennon starts and he goes,
She's not a girl who misses much.
And you're like, damn, this is a good start.
What do you got for the next line?
Doo doo doo doo doo doo.
Oh, yeah.
It's so good that he ran out immediately.
The doo doo doo doo doo doo's were putting in a lot of work back in the 60s.
I think we give them a little bit too much credit for their lyricism.
Tom Walker says they should have reformed the beetles with the shooter
I would be nice
We have been chatting
That's true. That's chatting.
And looking at the stores, some of you have been just chatting,
and some of us have been playing Mario Party, Jam 3, or whatever this is called.
I think it is a perfect testament to to
Ryan's kind of
prater natural ability to just chat while also farming in fucking Mario Party
stars, because I have I've diverted all neural pathways to
you know chatting and I didn't even realize my stars are gone I think it's
coping mechanism that your brain puts you through because you still have like
12 turns of Mario right right yeah that really is it is that it feels like it's
been a lifetime and I look up and we've just crested the halfway point that
trust me I've been there because I play this with Apollo and I just sort of
like turned the gaming part of my brain off completely. Yeah, that that terrifies me. The
prospect of one day finding myself in a Mario Party lock.
I was looking at another hockey update. Wait, what happened?
Keeper Sherwood signed a huge deal with San Jose. Oh, really? I love Keeper Sherwood.
I'm glad you didn't sign with us. Yeah. Yeah, we need almost $6 million a year.
I'm good.
Damn.
Hardest jobs, second line left winger in the NHL.
Yep.
Podcaster.
You get like 30 seconds of power play.
You're on PP2 and it's nothing.
Justin, anything to say about PP2?
Yeah, it's better than one.
That's why I got it.
I'm sorry.
Pp2 you mean pussy?
Strangely like almost misogynistic.
Maybe not.
I think it's the upgraded version.
I think it's Miss Andrews.
And what I like about the work that God, the creator did on Pussy
Is it isn't just like a roster update?
Like they took it right down to the studs and rebounded it.
It was a full guy.
It's like no man's guy sort of right?
God was going on all of the talk shows talking about it.
Peepee is going to be the greatest game ever made.
It's going to have all of these features and it's like bro like he's soy-facing about
Peepee.
i uh... i love the idea of like
like really horny religious guy who's like
like his proof of intelligent design is that pussy is so good
there's something that's like a good camera and that the banana fits in the
hand but it's like the penis fits in the in the vagina so well yeah yeah
did i pre-order pp1 it came out i was so stoked for it
i fucking sucked
come back five years later
it's pussy now oh my god this is great for the rest of the world
I got to install the update!
Oh my god!
Wait, this could be big.
I'm going to go crazy about the box.
Oh fuck.
I fucking suck, man.
I get 20 bucks from someone.
Okay.
Thank you, Rick.
Alright, man, cool.
It is the penis in No Man's Sky comparison.
It's actually very astute.
Because like the penis in No Man's Sky,
there's really only one way to have fun.
And if you want to mix it up you got to go online and get some ideas
Yeah
Like the snake charmer like the snake charmer which is like the snake charmer
Which is I don't understand. I think it's like a really bad way to jack off like I think it seems like oh my god. Oh, no, no
Huge it just kind of it just kind of eats that tile. That's fucked up
But I think the friend who was Snake Charming is Cock.
I think no one showed him how to jack off the right way is the thing.
Oh, he came up with that on his own.
Did somebody show you how to jack off the right way?
Well, yeah.
We've had this discussion before, I think.
I am very interested in the idea that, because as an only child, I just kind of discovered
it myself.
Nobody told me.
I'm interested in hearing the origin story for how everyone found out the way to do
because we all seem to have converged on
what I would describe as the optimal
I think it was probably porno
I think I have to imagine it was porno
at some point for me
because I remember I used to do it
I invented my own way
and then
I think for a long time I was resistant
to switching to the meta, you know
like I wanted to be a low tier main
but it just wasn't getting the job done
You know, the weakness is the devs buff the top tier too hard, so I had to switch eventually.
I want to say I knew how to do it naturally, like how a mama bird will throw a baby bird
out of the nest and just be like, well, there you go.
Your mom had to stop jacking you off and eventually...
I think I don't know if any of you experienced a scrambled porno.
Only a little bit.
That's probably where I found it.
What did you say?
It's not inside like that. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah. Yeah, that's good
He's gonna go to the same damn spot. I know it. I'm trusting you
We got to get like a little hit here, let's all pick up let's all pick up well
Yeah, yeah, now that's an interesting wrinkle is it? Hey, what did you guys?
Yeah, that's a good because you thought we were gonna say no don't go up. You said it too early
I put my picture up go up is easy
So I don't know if this exists anymore or if this is just like something that ended in like the
2000s maybe but like definitely my friends parents had
cable that had access to the adult channels sometimes when they were out we
were like 12 or 13 years old we just sit on the couch and like really awkwardly
just sort of be like this is awesome just like oh yeah just have pornography
on the TV and just sit there on the couch with your friend and be like yeah
hang out with your friend this is like so you're talking full-blown porno not
even like 40 year old virgin but it was like if I may it was like 20th century
porno so there was like it wasn't this this stuff these days where it's just
non-stop sucking and fucking and who knows there's no spitting or there was
some there was some there were some scenes that were like like 70% of the
films they were like in clothes I can safely assume these people aren't
related
for me it was uh...
but you'd be asleep over
but channel thirty nine
at one in the morning that's way out there red red red shoe diaries
on show and am
i saw a failure to all of the commonwealth states have titties on the
t-v
mmm
i think if you got showtime
or showcase in canada you would get a little
Maybe like a little titty window a little titty. Yeah
Wow damn because I remember a really formative moment for me. I mean I just alluded to it earlier, but
we went on a
a
Resort vacation to Jamaica as an attempt to save my mom's relationship with my stepfather
It did not work it for those who were wondering
But I did turn on the TV in the hotel room and it was full
uncensored forty-year-old virgin were in the scene where the women with the
titties out are are jumping and laying under the bed yes and that was actually
from the wedding crashers but I'm gonna let you have that one oh sure sure sure
I'll take whatever it was I was to you know obviously I my attention was
elsewhere it blew your mind yeah so I mean I don't know I guess that really
it really a it opened up you know a lot of avenues for me realizing that
People were showing titties on the TV
Yeah, we had a we had HBO and Cinemax and like famously cinemax would become skin a max at night
Yeah, and they would show soft. Yeah porno. Yeah, so you know my ass was staying up to like 3 a.m. Every day. I
Like the idea of a talk after that and we just make I know
Feel like such a pervert
Well, I was gonna say a formative thing for me was on new grounds
And you could there was the dress-up fritney spears doll no
As like as like an 11 year old
You were the guy that made a falling bubble girl go to the top of addicting games. That's right. Yeah, I
Think it's 35 man
That's devastating. Oh that is devastating
There's a damn star in there. I
I was always going there going please. I hope candy stand golf has finally supplanted 3d falling bubble girl. I
Was on e-zone I was playing Lenny loose trucks that boy raked the cookie factory
And then the God for games like they used to I always think
What do you mean, man? There's a million!
That's true!
Wow, yeah.
I mean, they all claim that you will bust in 10 seconds, but they're not so mature.
Yeah, I'm sitting here like five seconds later, like, I want my money back.
You don't think that's a you problem, Justin?
I always wonder, I don't know, this is just the Canadian phenotype, or if this exists in other countries in the world as well.
was wonder what happened to the degenerate like middle-aged man who used
to play
strip
uh... go fish at the bar top
arcade system
while
while this feels maybe even like in ontario
all okay we had to definitely like at the bowling alley they had one
uh... at at bars in toronto they would have like a uh... set
arcade system and dudes would always be playing like video poker where if
If you got like a full house, a piece of the ladies clothing would fall off.
Wow! Damn!
I do like that there's like those Tetris games on Steam and stuff that are like that.
Where you beat the level and you see like an anime woman in a bikini.
And it's just like so it's because it's why it's like that's the horniest person ever playing that or like
the least horny person ever playing it, right?
They're playing Tetris and they get like an anime bikini picture and like is that enough for them or is that like what you know
I mean or they're just so desperate. They're scraping the box. That's what I'm saying, right? Yeah
They're trying to ring the sponge out for every drop. I do like the idea of a really horny guy who
keeps wanting to witness like people getting like killed and stuff so he can go play porno Tetris
I
Yeah
It felt like we were veering off a cliff for a second there
But you perfectly drifted us back to the finish line like a guy who hangs out at that fucked up intersection of can be an eighth
And it's like oh, I hope no pedestrians get hit by a car turning left
The Switch Nintendo eShop is full of the most insane scramble puzzle games that cost $3
and it's a picture of a Korean woman in a dress basically and she's looking longingly
at the camera.
are thousands of them it's unreal you remember the uh you ever encounter like the bar like
image match games on a little tv and it was just like like nude ladies what the fuck really
what's on a little tv what do you what at bars they would have like these little tv's with uh
like matching games they would have like a horny version so you're sitting at bars surrounded
by people yeah yeah that's exactly what i was trying to describe like but not but five
minutes ago, but I might have tumbled the description.
That's it, that happens.
So I'm sitting here all alone looking like, am I am I ammuted? What's going on?
Sorry, my brain ain't working great today to you. It could be a bit of both.
But yeah, it's really funny to be just like in a room full of people just like staring
at porno and be like, yeah, I'm playing the porno game. It's in public.
A long time ago I went to a now defunct
Vancouver establishment called pub three forty
which is uh... is located in gas town should be a cosmopolitan
part of downtown Vancouver
and me and my friend were having some drinks and a fella came in with his
laptop
and he
was positioned perfectly so i could see exactly what he was doing
uh... he hopped on the wifi
just googled like
sports illustrated swimsuit edition pictures
and then he was just like clicking on every single one
right-click
copy image and he was pasting them into like a microsoft word document
uh... and then like
and it did part of the humor is that that's crazy than the other part of the
humor was the relatability of him trying to get microsoft word to format
the pictures like the way that you want to know
Having to right click on him and be like put it in front of the text so you can try to go down.
Come on.
That's sick.
I wonder what he's doing with that.
Maybe he was trying to like, he was trying to like disrupt, he thought he was going to be like a disruptor in the, in the like sports illustrated space.
So he's like, I'm going to make my own bikini magazine.
Huge.
You know, on my computer at the bar and they're going to fucking, they're going to realize I was a genius all along.
And they're just making the pictures and putting them out there, right?
I did I didn't cross my mind that he was gonna print it out and then it would be the wettest piece of paper ever printed
Surely he has access to a landing
I
Was a simple man I installed a world of Warcraft and nude mod when I was 11 and I never looked back. That's awesome
Oh
I forgot my trainer texted me yesterday, but I didn't see it until like 2 a.m.
I wonder why I need to send me with a couple question marks. I was like, oh fuck
I don't want to get question marks. That's
the question marks inside of the Pokeball
I also heard
Ange Ketchum
well that's Ange Ketchum and Pikachu
and Pikachu, that's right
Who could forget?
The Mario Pokemon
Because for me, I don't think I picked it up from porno.
I think I just sort of went like this is how you do it.
I'm not the only one who's still thinking about jacking off.
We're going to get back to eventually.
You go back to the most recent line of reasoning that you were on.
Sure, yeah.
But nowadays, I guess people they just it's probably like observed.
It's a mimic behavior.
They've been robbed of the sense of self-discovery.
I guess that is interesting.
Is it the most common thing that everybody's just like exposed to porn before they ever really found out their own way and then they're like
Well, okay, this seems to be how it's done
Cuz I definitely the first time I I mean I like I think I'd experimented with it a little bit
But the first time I was like let's get this done. I got scared when I came
It's such a rush of emotions. You're like well, this is awesome. Wait. What the fuck is happening right now?
I had a very different experience because all my friends were older
So they were all talking about coming and I was like, haha, yeah
Yeah, of course
The game changes when you start busting, you know, because then it's like then you have a responsibility afterwards
You know, you got to go get your pint glass. Yep. Yeah, of course. Yeah
This is this is all I want to do also, right? That's that too. I
I feel like I was way more interested in porn before I could jack off and I feel like that's weird
That is insane. You were just watching. I think I was like, well not even like actual like hardcore porn, but I was like
I was like a tit-hound
I just I just wanted to see I wanted to see did not I want to see boo so crazy. Really all I cared about as a child
Was damn tit-hound
It's very interesting
Yeah, still I some would say still I am yeah sure. Yeah. Yeah
I mean, I think at first I kind of thought that I had you know how some people can like you know
Turn their tongue into like a clover or whatever or like yeah, pop their elbows out of joint and then put him back
Like I discovered like a cool trick that my body could do
like you were the only one who could do it okay kind of like you're inventing you
you are you alone have invented male squirt yes there's a secret reserve of
fluid inside my body alone you're like wait people are gonna want to hear about
about this. And then, of course, all your friends are like,
guys, Ryan, you're such a moron, dude, don't you know,
male squirt is just pink. Yeah, it's just because they don't
know. Yeah. Then you got that one guy who's like, no, there's
land up there that no doctor can find on like a an ultrasound but right we were
watching that on stream the other day really one of those like science videos
was like the 3d animation and it was all about I gotta go to the vault here I
think I gotta go to the ball absolutely it was all about what happens if cum
goes inside your bladder, I think is what it was.
Yeah, yeah, when the cum goes in.
Yeah, and I think, I guess the, just if it was that it's bad, if that happens.
Which I don't think I needed a video.
Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
If it goes in, like, so I'm stupid, and I'm realizing now it's like if there's
a breach internally in like the male body, I think it's also like, or like the pipe
gets bad.
Siphon gets fucked up.
Okay, yeah, like.
Right, yeah.
Like if you tried to stop it too late and then it didn't go all the way out and then it had to go back somewhere
Right. The momentum had to go somewhere and so it kind of crashes, you know from the closure to back into the kind of back splashes back
Because what I was thinking was like
Not that
If somehow like I thought the video was of a woman who had gotten
And I was like, that doesn't seem to make any sense to me right now.
This isn't fair because I'm so short.
I am just completely bouncing all over your head.
Oh my god.
It landed me on that.
I'm rich, I'm rich, I'm fucking rich, I'm fucking rich, I'm fucking rich.
Oh my god Ricky, that was huge.
Holy shit.
Wow.
I got devastated.
I had a really embarrassing moment when I went to a doctor because I think I essentially
had like a couple of nuts in a row where I was like, something should be coming out.
Something seems amiss.
Oh, you get the dry nut.
Yeah, I'd dry nut.
When I went to the doctor they were like, oh, uh, you might be like nutting inward
Oh my gosh
And I was like, what did we do about this?
No, I swear to God
Yeah, like like nothing nothing nothing in reverse essentially, but then it then they're like they're like it should just stop
And then it did I was like, man, I really wish I didn't tell a doctor. Wow
I had a period of time where I would get intense, insane headaches after nutting, and I went
to a doctor about it.
They gave me some prescription for a muscle relaxer or something, and I was like, how
does this help?
And then it also just went away.
You just bust and get insanely tense your whole body up afterwards, I guess.
Yeah, I think I was nothing too good as what it is problem. Oh, it sounds like you're doing it wrong based on the last two stories
Yeah, and this was a long time ago. It's like a decade ago now. I know it great. So just if anyone was curious
Yeah, yeah, I did have a doctor shine a flashlight through my scrotum once to really to prove that I had a
Hydroceal instead of testicular cancer. Oh, wow
because I was 16 and one of my testicles was like the size of a
Would say a lemon
Yeah, it was really big
That's a bummer
So I tearfully told my mom I was like one of my one of my testicles is quite a significant
Larger than the other yeah like to the point where like it was this is not something that like happened overnight
Obviously, so I was basically like mom
I think I'm gonna die and she's like let's go to the after hours clinic real quick and then the guy was like
Oh, yeah, it's check this out like put a mag leg up to it. It was like it's translucent. You're okay
You're gonna need like an ultrasound
Damn, it turns out. Oh my god. He gets the ball to
57 for Tyler Myers, but it's actually 75. Yep. Oh my god mice all my fucking stars. I got pleased for life
How many stars do you have now?
7? 7. That's too many stars.
That's like Oceans 11, bro.
Holy shit.
It's not Starless Troopers.
I can't hold it in that one.
So a real big broadside shot against four people in Oceans 11,
and I'm trying to figure out who.
I guess the Asian guy that does the backflip.
I don't I don't know if I've seen him much else.
No, that's not Jethly.
Now that I think about it.
I think I did like an AI like remake of it in my head where I can see gently getting out of the box and doing all the domestic stuff and then I thought about it and I'm like I'm pretty sure it's not gently.
Wow, incredible.
The serotonin dump and then immediate flood of learning that I was racist and then learning that the person accusing me of racism was actually being racist.
well no i just thought it was jen lee not for a good reason
i think that uh...
the the two mormon brothers there's so casey afleck i think is
famous enough but then it's uh... scott on scott
yes got that's got definitely not to be counted as not a star yeah
can i say something
com she don't at the time of oceans eleven
not a star obviously a star now
now way he's back at camp i mean i don't know
i'd obviously defer to you on this but it feels like don cheato's
is like he's my damn uncle man he's been around
he has but i but i think he went like marvel mode right and that that bottom
to a level
bookie night's is pretty uh...
all that's really isn't looking nice
yeah he was already so at that point that's a good point that's a really
good point but someone's got a bigger star
was the old guy in that carl reiner or something
sorry yeah your carl reiner and uh... and elliott gould as well
I think you'll cut your cut as well.
Yeah.
Sorry, guys.
They'll be in a Peter Bogdanovich movie.
I was going to say old ass, but it's possible that I think like maybe all of them are dead.
So I apologize.
But as old as you can get.
That's true.
Yeah, yeah.
It is true.
I still maintain that you're older than me because you have a child.
I think it makes sense.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's just, that's how it works.
I can't really disagree.
I mean, when I like it's really, I don't expect anyone to have sympathy.
It's more just funny.
It's really hard to have conversations with people when you have a five year old
and they don't.
And then you start talking about like what you did on the weekend.
Yeah.
And I'm mostly just like driving to places
and then like sitting in my car for 51 minutes
and then standing at the door of the place for nine minutes.
There's like a lot of that.
Yeah, I could I could sounds like magic.
It's pretty nice.
I mean, it's it's better than the alternative,
which is you have to be in the room first to six.
All 60 minutes.
Yeah, whatever, man,
I played League of Legends until my head hurt at three a.m.
and then I would go bed and then woke up whenever I want.
Your life sounds hard though.
New turn.
I'm so glad that winter's ending, because I'm actually going to do things on the
weekend. Oh, that's huge.
It's been nice. It's been fucking nice here recently.
Yeah, it's really nice here recently, too.
Although I know nothing can be like it's 70 today here.
That's actually that's probably why I'm 70.
Well done, hell right now it is 70.
Yeah. Wow. Jesus Christ.
It's not too bad in Chicago right now, what is it?
Raining.
Wow, it's gonna be 82 degrees later this week.
That's a fuck?
That's fucked up.
Alright, maybe winter is over here.
That's the right temperature to summon you to the floor.
Sean Paul? Anybody?
Sure, sure, sure, okay.
Ricky, I mean, you should have been ready for that.
I'm sorry.
You know, I was too busy thinking about the floor with what's his name.
I was really trying to figure it out, but I'm sorry.
So I'm a huge game show head and I've been watching some modern game shows and they're
driving me insane and I'm hoping there's some like-minded individuals here.
At some point in the 2010s, they started coaching the contestants to banter while they're answering
questions and it's driving me insane.
If you've ever seen like Battle of the Generations, they have like Millennials versus Gen X versus
the Boomers versus Gen Z and they'll be like, who is the star of the movie Ant-Man?
And then instead of just going, beep, Paul Rudd, they always buzz in and they go, I remember
seeing this movie in 2016.
Yes, dude.
Yes.
And if I recall, the star of this movie is Paul Rudd.
And then they go, bleep, bleep, bleep.
Is that correct?
Yes.
It's Paul Rudd.
I'm like, it's like four minutes per trivia question to just get to an answer that
everybody knows.
Here's my take.
is that everybody, reality TV and by extension game shows have permanently evolved now that
we are seeing basically microcelebrities whose entire careers are. I'm a professional go on
reality shows guy. All the love to Dan Giesling in the world obviously, but you know that
archetype of guy is a thing now you know so people get on a reality show and
they're like um yeah I'm the bitch so you better watch out for me you know and
it's like episode one they are kicking the doors down you know my my fiancee
watches so much reality TV and like there was a there was a loss of like I
don't know the reality of it is beginning to fade away and I think what
it is is like people being like I'm gonna show you know they're trying to
I'm like, eek in a little bit of who they are, you know, their own personality.
People grew up on reality TV now, right?
Right, and they want to have their moment, you know.
It's more, it's like, sir reality TV.
Oh my god. Damn.
Holy shit. I'm about to start calling Dan sir reality TV.
By the way, now that you've mentioned Dan, he will react to the clip of what you just said.
And then you have to make, on stream, you have to react to his clip of you, of him reacting to what you just said.
Perfect.
Which, in its own way, is a microcosm of the very phenomenon that you're describing.
Yes, that's true.
I'm going to start, I need to start establishing my character as a guy who Dan watches clips of on his channel,
so that I can begin a lucrative career in clip watching guy Dan channel.
Exactly.
Yes.
I think you nailed it completely.
Nailed it.
Yeah.
I go on the reality show and I'm the tit hound.
That's the one I have in mind.
Yeah, that's the tit hound.
And then your lower third says tit hound.
And I didn't come here to not look at it.
Hey, if you're the tit hound, I'll tell you what, man.
Like season seven era of survival, season like seven
to 11 era of survival was the place to be.
Yeah.
Holy that was life changing when I was a young lad
What the hell man they were doing crazy shit
Justin would be on survivor Australia and see some big boobs and then fall in the fire like that one guy
Is that a no, I don't know
But
Wow was it survivor the guy who like he was gonna win, but he ate three feet of beef
And he went, oh, my colon.
I think that was Survivor.
I think the only Survivor thing I have.
It's Survivor, yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, three feet of beef.
I still love that.
We're on season 50 of Survivor.
And the mid-season reward challenge
is always the worst Paramount movie
that's come out in the last 12 months.
And all you can eat, Applebee's.
Yeah, it's crazy that Applebee's has still held.
They've they've clung on to that sponsored spot because survivors got to be like one of the most watched media
Properties in TV history at this point and like you're telling me Applebee's has got that kind of money
Have you guys ever seen I would say two to three episodes or more of the show naked and afraid
Yes, I have a lot. He's beyond that. He's been a science channel at night. I think it's like peak
like yelling at the TV entertainment.
That's got it.
Stakes, by the way.
Okay, okay.
Let's go, Mr. Cuttle.
Let's see.
Yeah.
It's been a while since I've seen an episode, but like every single episode seems to have
people that are like, I've trained to be a survivalist my whole life.
And then on like day two, they're like, I'm really thirsty.
I'm just going to drink from this puddle.
And everyone's going, no, don't do it.
And then they'll literally do like a montage of like 11-day time lapses of them just having diarrhea and laying down in the tent.
Because they're supposed to be there for like six weeks or something like that.
Right.
And then the other one is like increasingly resentful.
They're always like, well, I told them not to drink from the puddle, but I'm getting really tired of doing everything.
I
Remember a man tracker dude man tracker was so good
I love a man tracker like I think the same block is negative afraid. I
Love it because man tracker is man versus man, but it's also man versus nature and the nature is man tracker
The gene don't was on an episode
Yeah
There's kind of like a Werner Herzogian sort of struggle between the victims of Man Tracker
and the unstoppable, unrelenting force of Man Tracker and his guy.
Yep.
There really is.
What is it?
Okay.
I don't know what Man Tracker is and I cannot, the context clues are have thrown me for
a complete...
Listen, because it's about a man who tracks, but it's also about
new turn.
Men getting tracked.
So it kind of works both ways.
Yeah, okay, guy who tracks men.
And then men who get tracked by the man tracker.
Is that like Dog the Bounty Hunter?
Because I watched a lot of that.
It's actually, so you're, spiritually, yes.
There are, we'll call them victims, but they're contestants.
They're kind of loose into a natural area, a forest, or like a put-side or something like that.
Wow!
Wait, that's unsick.
Well, you know, like beat the freeze at the Atlanta Braves games, where it's a race against
a mascot, but they give you like a 100-yard head start, and then the dude just slowly
runs you down because he's like an ex-Olympian?
Sure.
That's man tracker, except it's people that are like,
I'm the greatest hiker I've ever met in my entire life.
And then man tracker is like a dude on a horse
with like an indigenous guide who can pick up
like a piece of grass and be like, they went that way.
That's sick.
The episode is just a countdown on the hill.
Like they find them and they go,
oh, shit, that's man tracker.
And then like.
And there's like a big camera crew
following them around.
Yes.
Huge camera crew.
Yeah.
it was like it's like one of the most like beautifully faked isn't it isn't a
Canadian show I think I think it might be yeah on the OLN yeah
oh man everyone has a tip man Justin you must have loved dog the bounty hunter
oh yeah that's my new show so I uh when I was on cameo grabbing videos I was
trying to find a happy birthday Justin from dog the bounty hunter dude his
cameos are so fucked man dude all there was a whole like there was like
six months worth of people who are leaving one star reviews being like, the audio is fucked
and then you click it and it's just the most hilarious and quiet video.
It's really quiet or there's ones, because he's a mainstay of we do the bonus cameo episodes
where we just look at insane cameos on Block Party.
And he will often be in a house that's under construction for some reason and you just
hear construction noise as he's wandering around the house kind of squinty.
He takes his sunglasses off, his eyes are really tiny, like Milhouse.
He's slurping at the, because he's the type, first of all he costs like $400 a cameo.
But also he's the classic celebrity on cameo where, because my understanding is there's
like an app and you see what the instructions are and then you can do the cameo, but a lot
of celebrities on cameo are reading the instructions as they record the cameo.
And so he's one of those guys where he'll pronounce your name wrong, he'll get very
confused, he'll miss out on what the cameo is for.
And again, he's four or five hundred dollars or whatever.
It's incredible. He's great. Wow.
It's really good.
There was one there was a couple of them that got one stars
because they were like, I can't even see dog.
And when I clicked it, it like he just had a smudge on his phone camera.
This is the blur of dog the down gather.
That's like, oh my God, so fucking funny.
There was one from Terry Bradshaw, where he had the wrong camera on.
So he was just filming his wife the entire time.
Oh man, that's great.
Cameo is fuckin' awesome, it's great.
Yeah, it seems like where the world's dumbest celebrities go to make videos of themselves,
so it's just like an infinite font.
And now anyone can sign up for it, so it's gotten so much shittier.
I've seen some, it really is bad.
It's bad, bad.
Yeah, it's really rough.
Please don't fuckin' take my shit, but I'll let it.
Uh-oh.
gift to me. You get used to it man. We watched one recently which was Kevin O'Leary
who's a thousand dollars a cameo I believe and someone had paid for a cameo
from him to and this is entirely true to look at an AI generated video they made
like a music video of the Dragon's Den slash Shark Tank crew as babies.
And so they paid Kevin O'Leary $1,000 to watch an AI video they made of Kevin O'Leary and
the Shark Tank guys.
And it's Kevin O'Leary being like, I watched your video, it was really good.
I showed it to my friends, they thought it was funny.
Thanks.
$1,000.
That is crazy.
To be that person who is so unconcerned with their kind of position in the human
race, like, yeah, I'm going to generate an AI video and then spend $1,000 to
make some bald guy on the TV watch it
There were a couple for Richard Karn where it was like people writing essentially their
own like home improvement fanfics
But he would come on and be like hey Tim the tool man I hope you've been doing well
since the show ended and like he just wants like a like some post script to fucking home
improve
Oh, that's awesome.
That's really good.
Give me the run back.
We got two cameos from Richard Karn on the pod,
and he was a jam.
He was just so good.
He's a pro.
Richard Karn doing his announcement
that he was doing an NFT, and then everyone yelling at him,
and then him making a video of him saying, like,
I've decided I don't need to do an NFT at this time.
It's really good.
Oh, you have a heart.
What the fuck?
Wow.
Holy shit.
What?
I talked to him, I had fed him to a little ball.
And he did it again.
Oh my god, the double play.
Thank you to the person who resubs to Ryan saying happy birthday, Justin.
Thank you so much.
I
Gotta say I did not have a lot of respect for Kevin O'Leary until I watched Marty Supreme back
I acted his pussy off in that unfortunately. He is so fucking good in that
Playing himself, but and I don't want to spoil too much, but the little ending monologue
I I could not stop thinking about that. It was why old
Yeah, that was I almost didn't even like it took me a second to even be like
what like when I was watching the movie just going like wait a minute that's
that's the shark tank guy I thought it was just I don't know I could not reconcile it in my mind
dog hugs he was legit he's incredible I hate it I hate to say I hate the guy
he's a piece of shit he's so fucking good in this movie yeah I don't get it
And he did it for a thousand dollars
Which is the craziest part
Yeah, I'm trying to think of who else is like good value on cameo
Yeah, Polly Shore is crazy because he just kind of dances around his kitchen the whole time
You gotta think of guys who will do like long cameos Andrew dice clay does like 20 minute cameos
Which are like really fucked
Circling back to the jacking off thing in Andrew Dice Clay
I'm always thinking about guy who jacks off the same way Andrew Dice plays smokes
Yeah, the arm over the head.
Yeah, the arm over the shoulder.
Maybe he's going under the leg or something like that.
He's also wearing like a leather jacket when he was legit.
Obviously, if we tried it, it would look ridiculous.
But I think if you were in like the Thunderdown under or whatever, you could make it work.
Yeah, if it was if it was like an event sort of.
Yeah, if you were like a major.
and you were like, check it out?
Yes, absolutely.
OK, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was really halfway through it.
I was like, these guys don't know what the thunder down
under is.
No, it's the Australian male strip reviewer, right?
Yes, these guys do know what the thunder down under is.
Yeah.
Damn.
That's cool.
One thing I like is the recent development on Cameo
is there are multiple Michael Jackson impersonators.
There's a lot.
Yeah.
A lot of AI was there.
a lot a i once it's very funny seeing there's one guy who has
uh... like
he looks he has
the makeup on he's got his nose all done up
uh... to the point where it's like late stage michael jackson knows is kind of
falling apart a little bit
and uh...
so it's like he looks and he's got the costume on everything the club
sounds like him
and he can sing like him
but he's doing it in
essentially like my college living room with like the pop
It's really sweet takes you out of the majesty is ruined. Yeah
I
Follow
It's real I guess really generous to I mean you've probably seen him honestly because he's also on on cameo
But generous to call him a Michael Jackson impersonator because he's just
Somebody's uncle who puts on a fedora and a glove
His name is Michael Jackson Polaski.
He sounds just like him.
He does sound a lot like Michael Jackson.
But a lot of his videos are him going to the reception desk
of a hotel and being like, these bubbles here.
And then they are playing into the bit.
And him just harassing.
I don't know if it's harassing necessarily,
because it seems like they are in on it.
But they are unwilling participants.
It's like, okay, yeah, sure man, we can do this.
Really, a really fun guy to watch.
He sounds just like him though.
He really does.
Yeah.
But he put all of those skill points into sounding like him.
Yeah, absolutely.
He looks like Michael Rappapour basically.
Yeah, big time.
He looks like Ozympic Michael Rappapour.
I gotta click on this link.
Alright.
Yeah, he looks a lot like Michael Rappapour.
I
My god, wow all your coins that's a lot half of them six seven six seven
Unfortunately without an Instagram account I can't click on any of the videos to see
Are I just kind of see him?
I mean the thumbnails look a lot like of Michael Rappaport video, but I imagine that
content is slightly different yeah yeah he's he's not saying the same kind of
stuff I would say what's his name again Ricky I'm looking for him on cameo
Michael Jackson Pulaski which I guess maybe is just his last name so he just
goes as Michael Jackson on on cameo go on a good scoop oh no I completely terrible
Scoop terrible screw
Oh fuck wait, what am I doing here fuck you gotta put your you've got the watermelon basket over there
Oh, I said and then the apple basket is between us. Okay, okay
I'm passing bananas down here right? Yes, you gotta be gotta stop it in the melons up there
Well, they put them down there. They convey about carried them up there
You win these whatever
I feel like we were locked in, we didn't drop any of them.
Man, he's only 30 bucks Canadian. I might have to get a Camio.
That's a good deal, dude.
Yeah.
And it looks like he's got, so you can do like essentially sub goals on Camio now where
it's like, and it says I'm earning towards and his goal is, I guess it's about $1,000
thirteen hundred sixty-eight canadian bubbles goes to l a to see prince jackson
that's his
and yes it was is obviously that the chimpanzee
the chimp prince is right michael jackson's son is on site yeah
okay so is he raising money to go home so the monkey to jack michael jackson's son
michael jackson polaski does have a stuffed
monkey that he called that he does a lot of videos with
He did Bubbles first day of school recently back in September
Ohhhh, Mr Hidden Block
That's the first one, huh?
I don't think we have to get into that goal
So we can see
Well he works hard too, he deserves it
Whenever I'm on Instagram, which like I mostly just stick to stories
It's like the only social media I have or I keep up with like IRL friends
But if I ever go scrolling I always be like what the fuck is this and then I see it's followed by you
It's either you or slow it's it's
Like if I see a weird
Instagram account and neither none of you guys follow it
It's it's just I feel so proud that I have the first one to follow
I saw the one not too long ago, which was a guy who has a fetish for the live action 101
Dalmatians and Corella De Vil getting covered in glasses.
All of his reels are just clips of that super slowed down.
And Captain's were he's like, I just love this part of the scene.
And yeah, I'm pretty sure he's a German guy too.
So I think that goes without saying.
kind of implied, implied German-ness.
Yeah, the other one that's great is the guy,
it's like a German latex fetish guy,
or a German mask fetish guy,
who really loves the scene in Mrs. Doubtfire,
where the mask gets blown out the window
and run over by a street sweeper.
And so he's uploaded a video to his YouTube,
and it's like Mrs. Doubtfire in German.
And so Mrs. Doubtfire's screaming,
like trying to get the street sweeper to stop.
and the guys just like the guys is fucking lovely
and i wish like uh... i wish i had something like weird that made me
you know
well i was looking at it like we should have the same kind of pity for them
that you have for someone who's afflicted with like uh... an extremely rare
disease
like through no fault of their own they experienced an environmental
toxin at like a very vulnerable part of their life and now they're forever
irreparably changed
But I think it's like a buff, because it's easier for you to get horny.
Yeah, you can just go to a lemon shop or whatever.
Yeah, you just go to the hardware store, like I'm just horny for a shovel or something.
You must be in heaven.
But you can just get horny at home.
That's even more convenient than a horny store.
The positive side of this for you Justin is you can get horny in public.
I don't think you can get a free shovel, it probably hits different if you get a horny about a shovel.
I do believe that actually, like having all of your dreams fulfilled sexually is probably
a certain drill.
I don't know if I necessarily have sympathy for them, but it would be inconvenient if, like
do you think they've got that clip of Miss, like you could only get your nut off to the
scene in Mrs. Doubtfire where the thing goes under the truck or whatever.
Do you have it clipped out in VLC, or do you have to fast forward through the whole movie
up until that point every time?
I think they have a digital photo frame that's constant.
And then also their nephews sending photos of them in veil or whatever on the e-trip
getting emailed to them.
uh... no
they have a right to circle
no fuck i'm on the bottom of the shit
it's okay man
yes
we're going crazy on the shapes
holy shit
they are awesome
yeah we got a nuts
i look at it like i don't know it
uh...
this is not my story tellings a different guy but i'm gonna tell it anyway
but in high school i had a friend who uh... he came out to me
which is good
but he didn't come out as like gay he came out as being into bd sm
and i i cannot stress enough that we were both
platonic friends
both straight
and uh...
like we didn't have that kind of relationship so i was kind of like
That's cool.
Why are you telling me this?
And he was like, I just needed to get it off my chest.
And I was like, OK.
And then like a week later, he was like, wish me luck.
I'm going to come out to my parents.
And I was like, I was like, definitely don't do that.
Because there's absolutely no good that could come of that.
And he said, no, I think it's something I have to do.
And he did it.
And then they send him to therapy,
which is actually maybe OK.
Why would you have to disclose that?
I still to this day do not know why.
Unless now that I'm older, I'm thinking maybe he got sucked into the wormhole so much he
started watching some stuff that scared him and this was like his cry for help to get
out.
Like someone pulled me out of this wormhole that I found myself in.
My other thought is like, I mean like I think it's maybe less fun to think about,
But it seems like he maybe had a lot of guilt and that might be coming from his kind of,
his familial situation, so it's kind of, kind of self-defeating for him to then go back
to the same people who have made him, I don't know, anyway, whatever.
There's a lot to unpack.
There's a lot to unpack there, yeah.
And I always, I mean, I pitied him because I was like, you don't need to do this.
Like, you don't need to tell everybody about this.
But he was like, it's such a core part of his identity at that moment.
felt like it wouldn't be living its truth to not expose it to everybody.
Damn.
Uh, JF just re-subbed to Ryan and said, or just asked, uh, has Stefan brought up the
Xbox controller thing yet?
I want to be clear, it was literally the first thing that was said.
Probably within two minutes of the stream we were bringing up you fucking had to bring
it up to fair.
Well, okay, I brought it up.
I kind of forced it out of him.
It was so early it was before the marker that I put in to say this is where it
started.
It was in that part of the stand up special where you see the stand up get out of the
uber and then go to the back door not the front door.
Daping his friends up off the stage.
I think most of that is the vault for sure, but then also somebody got somebody hit the Bowser revolution and distributed 91 coins to everybody.
Yeah, but I had 121 that happened and I was pissed.
Oh, I think I'd like wager the max like 22 or something.
33 Henryx, Sardine.
Yep.
Check it out.
What's the game going to be?
Let's see if there's a guy about Knight Knight
Knight Knight!
No trades.
Oh shit, okay, okay, hold on.
I've been studying, I've been studying the ways, man.
Let's go.
With a method, let's see.
Sorry, I just got a cat on my desk, so if I lose it's because of Boba.
Well Boba.
Your line looks pretty good.
Check this shit out.
I brought up the Xbox controller tech to a friend and he went pale and after I found out it was cuz one time he'd done it
His dog ran into the room and nuzzled him. No, he stopped. Yes, we stopped and patted the dog on chat scrolled away
He realized it was bleeding from being shot in the head by his neighbor. The dog was fine
What oh my god?
That is yes, I'd be traumatized
You would never jack off with a controller again after that as a porno Tetris moment for sure
That's crazy, that's the one guy that actually really needs to immediately play Tetris after
jacking off.
Can you not bring that stuff about the rumble feature on the Xbox controller reminds me of
when my dog shot in the head and was flying by the way?
That's so crazy
This is a random story
One of my cats got shot by a pellet gun
and a pellet stuck in his neck
Which is horrible
And I remember
in our scramble to get the cat for the vet
he just ripped it out with his teeth
Wow, wait that's a cat's neck?
Oh my god
The cat just ripped it out
Wait that's a vet
The vet took it out with his teeth
I
Just a fucking cat it is awesome
So I have to imagine use with cat in my arms
You like to blame a lot of shit on those cats man
I'm not saying this negative. I get it. Good tech good tech on Tom's part to post a funny message in Justin's chat
Which increases the likelihood of it getting read on stream.
Oh yeah, that's the move, that's the play.
But then you don't get the plus twos, you know?
That's true.
Just before anyone tries to come in and tell a little story, it's because Tom is my friend,
I ain't reading your shit.
Yeah, you get the cut to the front of the line.
Yeah, it's only accounts for the Goof Crew, I think.
Which again, it does, you know, calling the question the whole Sean Paul chat thing
that you completely ignored or what anyway but you understand why it kind of hit a soft
spot but whatever I don't want to dig it up again.
Was it in the middle of a game or was it in the lobby?
I think you were busy telling Kate you were going to kill her and find her address and
kill her so I can understand why you had to distract her.
I did ask you for Kate's address and I asked Kate for your address which I think both
were funny.
I have never heard you get as mad as you did.
it was unbelievable i'd never seen that long
he had a doubt
i did not know you can take it which raise your own on your own channels like
this court really
amplified that the cool yeah it was the worst you were so fucking
it's it's so funny it's great that's a guy to have a lot of play haven't got a
play at i'd need to do you don't know it's it's so good because i someone
said this in in the channel we were playing it but it forces everyone else
to play
like how I play every game.
Yes.
Which is, yes, like a complete dick at all times.
Like driving backwards in NASCAR.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
My buddy, Stockenborg, was saying,
he's like, I feel like they made a game for me.
You and Stockenborg are very, very similar people, I think,
in that regard.
I'll never forget playing Borderlands with Stockenborg
and some other friends.
And he just kept taking our friend's gun
and throwing it off the map to the point
that the friend quit and never played it.
I just never ever played a game.
That's so good.
It was so fucking funny.
I mean, that's saving him from bad game writing.
So, you know, it's actually a very awful game.
It was a really awful game.
Wow, I think I jumped the starting gun on that.
I was going while the go was still on the screen.
Ryan's going fucking crazy. I don't like seeing how fast this shit's going.
Oh, shit.
Hey good game fellas just an honor to compete honestly
That's like the longest we were quiet on this whole street
I
Felly adds himself a steam on the line for sure. No, that's that's so fair
Yeah
No bathroom breaks either
I took a sneaky bathroom break.
Oh, I didn't even notice.
I did, I did.
I had my wireless headphones in so I could kind of continue the rift the moment I got
back.
I do think I got a couple of drips inside of the drawers, but we don't need to worry
about that.
Literally, that happens to everyone.
That's normal.
Yeah.
There's something, when the almighty creator designed the male body.
Right, right.
just a little pp1 of course pp1 yeah that's which is why there's a pp2 there's a
there's a little internal button in the penile apparatus that just shoots the
last two drops of urine out as soon as you sit down it's insane man I I mean I
guess the button is literally that there is literally a button and it's the
prostate I've been told I have to imagine has the is there culprit for
that but it seems like I mean maybe we're not self-selecting for it but I believe
women should stop procreating with people with penises who have a leak you have
have those couple extra drops coming out afterwards just we need to get it out of
the deep it out out of all the sentences you could have said slowly it
was that one yeah absolutely I was trying I was trying to figure out how to say
But you understand we need to stop allowing the the two extra drops to continue on in the gene
I'm doing I'm doing the Vince McMahon reaction to Ricky saying we can stop
women from
procreating
But it with Vince McMahon, he's already bright red and falling up back
Yeah, yeah, yeah
No, it is a lid it's giving eugenics a little bit
But who among us hasn't like maligned our great great grandmothers for fucking one bald guy back in like, you know
Sure, Paris in 1731 or something like sure
You're like Damien you really let like one smooth bald guy get his his genes in the whole gene pool and fuck it up
the rest of us huh?
What's fucked up man?
Does bald like jump a generation?
That's a thing
That's what I've been told
That it's colder
I think there's a lot
It's like if your mom's dad
Is bald, you have a much higher chance to go bald
Okay
And my mom's dad is definitely bald
See I'm adopted so I have no fucking idea
What's going on
Which is kinda fun I think
I mean I can tell you what's going on
Well, yeah, I've just been like 20 years from now.
It might be better than mentioned at all.
Yeah, I'd be surprised.
I don't know if I ever mentioned it, but like,
so again, I'm not saying this to be like, like, like, weird.
And I'm not I'm not eliciting sympathy is a very long time ago.
But my dad had a drug issue
and also looked like a fucked up Jack Nicholson.
so we'd call him Krakenickle-son
Yeah, it's so crazy
I didn't know about you calling your father Krakenickle-son
I didn't always worry that when I got older I would look like Krakenickle-son
I think I'm dodging so far
Yeah, I think you're clear
Not a single time have I looked at you and thought there's any resemblance to Jack Nickle-son
Thank you, that's good
Except when I'm holding a big sandwich probably
Big sandwich or a tear shirt off and you're asleep
Maybe a little bit in the you do have some
There's a specific fate. Maybe it's the Justin. I the HCJ eyes or maybe HCJ normal not normal
Whichever the purple one of you you got a little bit of Jack Nick. Oh, yeah, there I think
That's a CJ eyes, but
That's that's such a crazy
Yeah, rematch all right. Yeah, I'll take a rematch. I really I need to protect my own
in the direction we were off.
That feels good.
Yeah.
Yeah, let's get it.
Yeah, I want a fucking steak, man.
Maybe, maybe.
It looks so good.
It looks so good.
This one's just a rectangle.
Yeah, there's like a little bit in this one.
A little bit missing though.
Right, right, so you kind of have to...
A little compensation.
I'm trusting him.
Hands off the controller.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, that's getting...
I don't know, we'll see.
Let's see if Stockinborg was playing this.
He'd probably be just moving the stick around like probably inside. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh
This last one though, I don't know okay. Yep. Yeah, perfect time
Man, oh man. All right, honestly, I think that settles it. I'm zero for two
Fuck yeah, I'm taking blame there too. I guess we just don't have it. We just don't have it man
like one of my eyes is like maybe 50 times better than the other one so just being even
like 52 48 feels like a huge win for me yeah yeah all right I'm burning my body use the
pipe now in the building. I know what I'm doing this turn. It's gonna it's gonna
put everyone on their ass. Put me on my ass man. I've been on my ass this whole
game.
My ass is fucking killing me. Not like the whole but like sure like the
surrounding
Ricky you might be giving me a star here. I
Would hope I really don't the whole bottom row is is giving the stars away
I think I think you I think you just I think you just dodged it. I think you're gonna go between the two
I hate the thought I just had
Which was I remember once during a Mario Party session with Apollo and Chiblee the question came up
like how does your whole feel 1 to 10 and like they had some really fucked up
holes do we have like a is this like a whole whole good holes session we talked
a lot about our buttholes for sure we did but not like in a grown-up way not in
like a you're not like a nasty yeah my mind's probably honestly this is I
think so on on the first night of DVD week I ate 10 bananas during the
Yeah, yeah, and that did help a lot so I'd say I'm at like an eight right now
That's nice. Yeah, I
Really genuinely I think it's 10 out of 10
Really, I'm happy for you. That's it. Great hole. Yeah, I've been on the the men of mutual has been helping a lot, too
But before it helped a lot it hurt a little bit
That's spare
here we go
ok Dustin
what's the plan here?
I'm going to do chance time
he's going chance time
oh god and you've got the boo before him
and I got the boo before
do I even bother stealing a star
when I'm about to steal all of them?
so it's a waste of 50 gold
if you have the chance
to nut up and do it all for free
but I might fuck up so I'm going to steal one from you
because I might give all your stars to someone else
Yeah, that's true.
You're right.
Yeah.
I mean, this is the game right here, but can't you?
This could be it, yeah.
That's a lot of pressure.
Justin, it's so funny to me that your regrettable thought is like the colorectal conversation
that we had a long time ago, and mine is like I can't stop workshopping the worst
joke about frozen French fries.
And it's just like, I don't think I'll be able to stop thinking about it on
until it gets out of my head and it's not.
Well, let's get a little right at what I'm going, man.
What do I got?
We can workshop it.
So it'd be something like, you know what I hate?
Misleading advertisements.
And the worst kind of misleading advertisements.
And then this is where everyone thinks
it's going to be for pharmaceutical products.
And then you go, frozen French fries.
I mean, and then this is where it falls apart.
And you have written down on the notepad, I mean, comma?
In the mental notepad.
Yeah.
OK.
I've ridden the ad lib into the script as it is.
And it's like, how can they get it off the baking sheet
without ripping them?
You know what I'm saying?
Like, none of the frozen fries are
getting stuck to the aluminum foil or anything.
Come on, guys.
Well, you use parchment paper.
Is that the secret?
That's the hack.
Oh, yeah.
That is the secret.
I tell you though, on my Valentine's Day stream where I made myself a romantic dinner for one,
which is not sad, it was very funny.
It was really funny.
Well, I also, the funniest part was that I tried to do the lobster tails on parchment
paper under the broiler without really thinking, so I set the oven on fire.
Oh no!
Yeah, that's insane.
Yeah, yeah.
I opened it up to check on them and I was like, oh, that's a lot of flames.
I feel like what's the vibe I'm getting is that the premise of the joke is unfixable.
The parchment paper is sort of, if you know about parchment paper it does sort of...
Right, that's got nothing to do with it.
I think there's something we could do here, because in the ad, they're just showing it, they're raw dogging.
On the tray, yeah.
Yeah, so there's something with that I think.
I think, what if...
Well, I don't know.
I'm just thinking about like the, I'm trying to think about the outsider perspectives as well.
Like I'm thinking about Luna not even knowing the fact that
her dad is inventing Dennis Miller style comedic riffs
while while he's baking her french fries.
You're giving him a lot of credit to equate it with one of the greats.
Oh, well, it's like it's like 2020 is Dennis Miller.
Well, OK, I like I only knew Dennis Miller from Dennis Miller live
and like as like balls pretty young.
And I really only watch the interviews,
I went to see Den's Men with you stand up when I was going to a lot of stand up shows
and I was like, oh, he really hates us some people, he's kind of like the thinking man's
comedian.
It's like bigoted.
If you have certain thoughts about many different races, this is fucked up stuff.
I'm starting to think also that he did want to go off on a rant yeah
I think he loved to go off for a guy who says he doesn't want to I mean it's doing it like
every episode yep you've lost for your coins but now it's chance time oh shit that's true
The insult that hits hardest for me is when someone says I'm Dennis Miller coded because
I think it's so true.
Does this thing remind anyone else of these two things if they were mashed up together
and I'm like that's my whole thing?
3 coins!
3 coins!
3 coins!
3 coins!
3 coins!
3 coins!
3 coins!
3 coins!
3 coins!
3 coins!
3 coins!
3 coins!
3 coins!
even if it's almost complimentary it still hurts because they read your ass
they soul read you through hard
that being said I don't think Dennis Miller is a complimentary comparison
I can't even mean it as an insult
although he wasn't joking
we just thought of giving Ricky unfriendly flying objects
I like moving around in it
that's fair
I was going to jump on it and then I like really I'm going to go crazy play bro.
I just got crushed by the smooth side, that's so embarrassing.
Holy shit, he's him!
Oh, you had me dancing like Catherine DeNove and Jacques de Mise, the umbrellas of Shermburg.
I wanna go up on our annual.
Wow.
Does anybody else think that La La Land Damien Chazelle was just reheating Jacques de Mise nachos?
I mean, come on, buddy. I've heard him sin in a verite, but this is ridiculous.
wow yeah that's I mean it's interesting how that was sort of like a
posturing tool for you you lost that minigame so humiliatingly that you're
like hold on I got to get back on the right foot
he is the real menace yeah
little Venice the menace reference oh yeah yeah take it remember the movie
It's the boy eating beans out of a can.
I don't know why that's gonna stop with me.
Oh wow.
Oh.
There we go.
You guys ever sneak into any R rated movies when you're a kid?
Uh, I never did.
The first one I ever saw was, uh,
my parents were gone for dinner so my dad rented me Starship Troopers.
Or as I know it's Star Wars Troopers.
Star Wars Troopers, yeah.
Yeah, it was just my ass into our rated movies like I mean my friends just go to see like whatever we wanted
Well, that's because your friends are all 40 years old
I thought they were my parents my guardians
This is really looping back like every thread we've had this whole time
The friend that when I was 13 I used to watch pornography with was on a bowling team with me
And we were going to a tournament in rural Ontario, so he was staying over at our house
Like the night before we got two tickets to Dennis Miller
But we were having a sleepover the night before because we were gonna leave early in the morning and my dad rented
Starship troopers for us to watch and then we watched it
But we were like nine and it scared the fuck out of us
and my friend we turned it off when the aliens with the wings were like cutting
people's heads off with the wings oh you were scared of the monsters I was scared
of the creeping specter of fascism oh I'm gonna say you were scared of the
titties in the movie yeah the tits I was gonna say there are a lot of pity
something you never you're just to say never never yeah and then is the only
the only thing that Justin had chimed in on the whole time I was waiting for
my moment to step in and go like oh like I love the shower party.
Uh and then uh he had to go home because he got so scared and his mom called my dad and
was like never do that again.
Like my dad got in trouble for renting the wrong room.
Wow!
Damn that's gotta suck.
I mean getting in trouble as a parent from another parent has gotta be like-
That's rough.
That's a bummer.
I actually can't believe the callback with like five callbacks in one.
That's unreal.
We perfectly scripted this afternoon.
He did also have later in life a drug problem too, so you can add one more to come out.
Did he look like any kind of celebrity?
No.
No, he didn't have any sort of celebrity lookalike thing going on.
No, but his voice was exactly like Michael Jackson's.
I don't mean to call our viewers here, but I am going to but I do I do want to address
the ongoing situation in my life.
Okay.
I just want you to know for years and I figure right now is a good as good a time as I need
to bring it up for years. Every time I post a video on TikTok or anywhere else, I get comments
to the effect of Bro thinks he's Southern Lion.
Really?
Oh, non-stop, dude, for literally like four years. It's insane.
I don't mind it, you know, again, it's a comparison that I don't. Maybe it hits a local. Maybe
I take some offense because it's maybe too accurate sometimes. I don't know. But,
oh, shit. I forgot how this one works.
You're left and right, Stefan.
Oh fuck.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Oh wait, there we go.
Let's go.
But, I was expecting when we were on the stream last time for the charity Marathon, I was
expecting a lot of people being like vindicated, being like, wow, I knew it, he does sound
like Northern Lion, or you know, whatever, he could hear or whatever.
But I think when our voices were put immediately next to each other, they were like, oh,
maybe they don't actually sound that much or like.
Yeah.
Did all of the comments on all of the library in shorts were, is it just me or does this
Ricky guy sound like he has the timber of Apollo with the cadence of Chibley?
Chibley was American.
Yeah, people, a lot of people say you sound like Chibley, which is crazy.
It's crazy.
It's like guys who have spent 15 years listening to eight dudes trying to imagine a ninth dude
and being like, get my Chibley and Apollo from this new guy.
But Tom says no one sounds like Chibbly, that's true
Chibbly invented his own thing
What was it that Chibbly was saying that you couldn't figure out, Justin, in the C.S. lobby like two nights ago?
And then it took Jasky doing an American accent and saying the words for you
He was saying Peanepox
Oh, I was hearing Peanepox
He said it like 12 times until Jaskin said it slowly
He went like theme park theme park
He was going peep box
Yeah that was a rough one
I felt insane
He repeated it a bunch and I was thinking they were all trolling me
Oh man.
That is the worst feeling of asking someone to repeat something and then being like, okay,
I didn't hear it.
I can ask them a second time.
Yeah.
I can ask them a second time and being like, ah, fuck.
This isn't important because I'm not going to ask a third time.
Well, I like God, like especially playing a lot of shows and stuff and just going
to a lot of concerts in my life.
People trying to talk to you while loud music's playing.
Yeah.
You don't want to really ask too many times to repeat it, so you just start saying
yes to stuff and you're like, God, I hope I didn't agree to see that.
Especially like in the chibli scenario, especially if there's like an accent involved
It's like I'm not asking twice if I don't understand the second time
I'm going to give a half smile in a nod and pray to God that that's enough to just tank the situation. Yep. Yep I
Would not to put the bad flex here
But there's a second element in it when people tell you the name of their kids
There's like when it's like a word in the dictionary
You're kind of like I can approximate it to what I think you're going for but names these days are
Just all over the place. So you can miss hear it and be like that sounds like
It's James and then like three months later. You'd be like hi James
And I'm like my son's name is actually like games and I'm like
My son games I
I had a really good one. I'm like an unreal example because yeah, I have a real one in my head, but
Yeah, they hear the stream like what the fuck they got the they got the and and all my weebs in the chat
I need you guys that attention on this one. They they hit me a minute there. I guess the Canadian version of the
I'm going to be a Kira Kira Namayi am I right yo let's hear it go crazy
that's so true that's so true I was thinking that this would be so huge
oh got one of them oh man there's two stars in there too that would have been so
sweet oh my god that would have that would have brought me back yeah how many bonus stars
are there is it two or three three for a 30 time three yeah so it's possible it's
on is dm'ing the instagram reels while he is also watching just in stream knowing
that i'm
uh...
me and i have a new obsession on instagram and it's uh... christina no
searova she's is she the lady who has all the fits
all god yeah i mean i i i really do apologize ryan that this entire
stream has just been us talking about guys on instagram i was just a way
actually but
dude i need everybody to go check out kiki no searova on instagram she is my
fucking goat she is the number one content creator on the entire internet
uh... and and me and tom are completely obsessed with her
on the start of all man justin might fucking win
we know you're going to have one more
you're going to work
is that i think it's too much
now i don't know how well that would have been
but i have to send you uh...
uh... big held on these
birthday video you recorded for me because as a fleet said
it's not it's so much other so many possibilities of what this could be
i don't know you'll really appreciate that they could be it could be more of
the same song
could could be a completely unrelated video that then cuts to a
gen x guy with a coffee mug
uh... complaining about something that had nothing to do with the video to
begin with
something about benton i couldn't say it could be
uh...
crumble cookie review
and did you know that dbb has one point four million instagram followers uh...
i i had picked that up
from watching the the fleet segments and also
lost my mind that when he showed it like his old house
and uh... it it's like a mansion like a five thousand square foot mansion with
like a droople garage
yeah
yeah i guess that's probably what i should have known
it shattered my world view of what was going on online
oh my god i have no
it's finished
alright
what are the bonus stars
I'm so excited to see.
All right.
Damn, this is it.
Huge moment here.
Three hours and 40 minutes of Mario Kart.
I mean, Justin or Ricky need three stars here, I think, right?
Yeah, that's the only way.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
What a crazy fuck.
Oh.
Oh, damn.
OK.
I think really only Justin can I think only just I think I'm the only way I bought so much shit, man. Yeah
To Ching baby Wow, her keys be shopping that's true. That's true
That's definitely not me this could be I landed on a lot of Bowser's Bay
I was gonna say man. I got my I got my pockets ran by Bowser. It was crazy
I think this might also be you from all the fucking, oh, it's me.
No, I really wanted it, man.
Me and Justin just tied for second place.
I can't believe I didn't win the minigame star, because the whole time I was like, these
guys are horrible.
I'm winning every single game.
Did you win the charity Mario Party 2?
I think you did.
I can't have a reputation for winning every Mario Party game,
because I also lose every Mario Party game when we play with other groups.
I mean it literally is playing in global elite or whatever and then clocking in one one or two games
Justin yesterday I need to get like sine two nerdle to add a squad mode and then have Justin and Apollo
Do you up with me so that they can understand a little bit of what it feels like to be in my shirt?
Exactly, I would be so fucking bad at that. It's unbelievably bad
But then I was like why would I do that to my friends to being very nice to me by helping me play counter strike?
I think I would go insane if I watched Justin play Sinead 2 Nerdle
He watching you do the dolls is like yep never seen this, nope never heard of this
And you're just like Matt Matt
I'm actually just going to skip button through every single one
The other day I got, oh fuck there were actually two I got and I was like I can't
believe this is the best day of my life
They're gone I have no idea
Well fellas it's been a pleasure
What a gift, what a gift Mario Party is.
I love the party with my boys, you know.
I got the kind of lifestyle where a 4 hour game of Mario Party is pretty easy to fit in,
so anytime.
Yeah, shit.
Yeah, we'll do it again sometime.
We gotta do a big game of golf too, honestly.
Please, please, I need to play some Super Battle buff.
Happy grade.
Later.
Well, it's been a pleasure.
I didn't want to leave too fast, but I gotta go pee.
I'll be right back.
Enjoy the music.
folks today's kind of a crazy stream did you know slay this buyer early access
comes out tomorrow at 10 a.m. Pacific time I literally had no idea until
yesterday I assume I knew it was coming out March 2026 I just I guess cynically
I was like that's probably like March 31st but it turns out it's gonna be like
March whatever Thursday is March 5th that's so crazy oh here's the theme
parks but I love this bit because you can understand the position of the
character known as Chibli because he is saying theme parks but then you can also
understand the motivations of the character known as Justin because it
even though he's saying theme parks it doesn't really sound like theme parks
unless you know but do you think theme parks are dying breed no no I don't
think so it's teen box oh my god there's no way you heard that I heard
Peanbox. Okay, yeah, let's do the Peanboxes. What do you say?
Theme box, bro, theme box. Theme box? Theme box. Theme. Justin.
Theme parks. Theme theme parks. Oh, theme.
Jasky was the goal for that one. I knew as soon as Jasky went theme parks that he was he was going to figure it out.
That was literally the perfect thing to say in the perfect tone at that moment.
Theme parks.
Blocks.
Theme.
Justin.
Passed.
Theme parks.
Theme.
Theme parks.
Oh, theme parks.
Holy fuck.
Theme parks.
Theme parks.
Theme parks.
Theme parks.
Man, theme parks is dying, Brits.
Oh, man.
I got really scared when I read the message,
US just had its first case of Pean Pox.
And before I knew that I was going to say Pean Pox at the end of it,
I got really scared.
I guess I'll probably have a little bit of PTSD for statements like that,
for like the rest of my life if I had to guess.
But basically what I'm saying is don't do that.
But also that was funny.
It was a great Mario Party stream.
I don't know what to play, man.
I don't know what to play, to be honest with you.
Let me, I mean I had to reboot my PC so Steam isn't even open.
Let me see what's going on with Steam.
Anything new coming out on Steam?
Anything popular upcoming coming out on Steam?
has to be the dulls.
I'm not a contrarian, but you have
to put yourself in my shoes a little bit.
I've had three and a half hours or so of people saying,
you have to play catfishing today.
There's only one outcome that could lead everyone
to be pointing in that same direction.
And that outcome that I am one of the results in catfishing
makes me not want to do catfishing,
because it's like I'm clip farming myself.
like I'm gonna go I'm gonna instead of what would have been nice is if there was a surprise if
there was a surprise where I was like oh my god like Canadian youtubers Canadian streamers streamers
who are semi-famous people from Vancouver British Columbia I would have been like oh my god is
it actually me or something like that 1988 births I would have been like holy shit this
This is crazy, but instead, I had three and a half hours of people being like, I can't
tell you why, but you should do catfishing today.
As a result, all of the potential joy has been robbed, really like from the first message,
but then repeatedly over the course of the interceding 210 minutes.
And they are going, well, I didn't spoil it, I just said you absolutely have to
play cat fishing today. So here's the thing. I'm not mad. The reason I'm not mad is because
I understand that it's the system that fucked me. The incentive for a chatter to be like,
oh my God, has he played cat fishing yet today is too high for it to have gone any
other way. So I don't think any individual person was evil here. But I do think that
It's an unfortunate situation.
It has created a moment devoid of the majesty
that it could have been there.
You have to understand, otherwise I have to boot up
catfishing, and what am I going to do?
Here's the two ways it could go.
I could put on a veil of artifice and go,
whoa, no way!
It's me!
And everyone would know, including myself, that I'm lying.
Or I could be like, yep, this is me.
and then play it, like just play it so straight,
and then people will be like, he didn't even react?
That being said, I might play the Dulles regardless,
just because I love playing the Dulles.
And also, if this gets back to the catfishing developers,
I consider it a very honorable tribute.
I do appreciate that.
I take it as a great honor
to be included in your catfishing game.
Also, I think if there's like a catfishing forum
or subreddit or something, they're gonna be fucking pissed.
They're gonna be like, what the fuck?
Is this what's gonna happen to the game I love?
We're gonna just start putting, oh, any streamer
that's played the game is gonna be an answer
in the game now?
There's a Twitter group, but we all watch you anyways.
All right, well, Farron, I do also,
I catastrophize a little bit and think that it's like everyone's going to be like I fucking
hate this guy and then there's like every comment is like I actually kind of like this
guy I've never seen this guy before but someone showed me one of his clips and he's really
funny and I'm like oh okay never mind.
chatting. Except for the teachers and R slash Bellingham, R slash Bellingham is not fucking
with me man. And the most fucked up part is that I said, like I told no lies bro. I literally
just said that the town has no escalators and it doesn't have any escalators. And
they want me dead. Back of my Nintendo Switch 2 dock just fell off. It shot off the back
of the dock like there was compressed carbon dioxide in it or something. That's crazy.
We're back with the Dulles, y'all.
That is the Bellingham sentence regards.
Why is the rich area of Vancouver called Gastown,
like it's Mad Max?
Okay, you have a lot to learn about Vancouver.
That's all I'm gonna say.
The rich part of Vancouver is called Shaughnessy,
which has nothing to do with Mad Max.
But the joke, or at least a reference,
would have worked if you had just,
if you had just taken rich out of it.
Which I understand, it takes a lot of self-control
to not put rich in a sentence
we're trying to own somebody because this is where this course is in like 2026 but now
here's one why is Granville Island not an island that's true it is it is a peninsula
Shaughnessy in the T-Pain voice Shaughnessy I could totally see T-Pain saying let's meet
at Van Duzan Botanical Gardens. Why are they naming shit after Mad Max, bro?
Bro, Vancouver is a young city. It's older than Mad Max, though. Mad Max isn't the oldest
thing that ever existed, bro. I think this is Oz the Great and Powerful. It's around
the world in 80 days? Something like that?
Cloud Atlas? If possible, this is a little cloud Atlas going
on.
I have absolutely no idea what this is. I state, you know,
what this might be the Peter Pan live action, which is called
Peter Pan? It's called, uh, it's called,
now I just have no idea, Pan.
That makes a lot of sense. It's just called Pan, that's right.
They got me on that one. Hey, frames, why didn't you put the umbrellas of Sherbourg on this one,
bro? I watched that this morning. What a beautiful movie. I do think that if you had shown me
the umbrellas of Sherberg when I was 20 years old, I would have been like this is the most
irritating movie of all time because they literally just, they do not stop singing.
At no point do they stop singing. I would have been like anybody who likes this movie
is a fucking idiot. But at age 37, I was like, damn, this shit is beautiful, bro.
This Eagles player finished second in the NFL with 116 receptions. Any chance you're
AJ Brown? Any chance you're DJ Smith? Toronto acquired Jermaine O'Neill from Indiana in
2008 but traded him to this Southeast Division team. Okay, so this sounds crazy
But Sean Marion played for the Phoenix Suns the Suns should not be in the Southeast, but we try it anyway
At age 40 Moises Alou had a 30 game hit streak for this National League East team in
2007 National League East Washington National Spoon. We take those so far so good
so far so good
So Vilvalencia, Zaragoza, and Marcia are cities with over half a million people from this primarily Spanish speaking country
Spain
This is the most
Fucking funny bar stool question that's ever been put into the game
That's so insane
It is it's very insane if I don't see this you're never gonna get 90 plus in bar stool
But if I don't see this over 80, I mean that's
we're gonna hold it against this brand for the rest of its existence which
may be like 5,000 years the way things are going. I have absolutely no idea. I
kind of feel like you're giving Brendan Fraser with an absolutely horrible
haircut and then I'm getting I'm getting like a young Demi Moore. So I'm gonna go
Demi Moore. I know that the here's all I can say about this is that this does not
look like Brennan Frazier except that it's his neck and head. I think it's
Brennan Frazier. It's okay, so it's Brennan Frazier and I don't think it's
Ellie Kemper. I don't think it's Rebel Wilson. Oh, Hayden Panettiere. Hayden
Hayden Panettiere, 100%.
Denzel Washington's daughter from, remember the Titans.
Definitely Hayden Panettiere.
I could see that.
A competitor to McDonald's Pies.
I don't really see individual products
at the restaurants as being in competition, I suppose.
A competitor to McDonald's Pies.
That's not Denzel's daughter in the movie.
I might need to re-watch, remember the times.
Let me think about this for a second.
She's in the movie and she's somebody's daughter, I would say.
This major fast food chain offers a fried caramel apple dessert
and now has a chocolate fudge fried dessert in the same shape.
I mean, I think competitors to McDonald's,
I think Burger King, is that, does that make me weird?
Ludacris and now Johnny Knoxville
I've been host of Fear Factor.
Dude, I was just thinking about this.
Jesse Bradford, 2002, Erica Christiansen.
Yeah, bro, I'm thinking Swimfan.
This famous hip-hop group is called The Beastie Boys.
Nah, I'm done.
Dude, Swimfan, that was a movie, man.
That story was a movie.
Celebrity mashup was indeed Hayden Panettiere.
And then Taco Bell, 76% knowing that Valencia is in Spain
is crazy, especially when they put
Spanish-speaking country.
We used to call this stalkery girl swim fan in high school.
They're going to hate you for that one,
but that's a real ass story.
I honestly, I feel bad if you were a skinny kid with glasses
in high school in 2007, because I know they
were calling your ass McLovin, probably
like in front of your fucking face.
I got out of high school.
I had a McLovin energy in ninth grade,
maybe even 10th grade for sure,
but I was out of high school by the time Superbad came out.
I can confirm it was annoying.
I mean, to be honest,
I probably kind of looked like McLovin at like 18
when I saw the movie,
but we were clearly in college and McLovin was not, man.
I was one year older than McLovin.
Can't be McLovin, McLovin's younger than me.
Oops, OK.
The hound to shadow, to tail, and to track.
What is to follow someone?
To pursue.
Sporting news.
Sporting the sporting life.
December is song.
December is songs.
Working girl, gossip girl, gone girl, new girl.
These are blank girl media properties.
Sporting.
I see port.
Book.
Sporting.
Boy.
Fair, honest, square, sporting.
What is an equal competition?
Sportsman-like, book, video game, toy, bike.
I don't know, should you want to get
for your birthday, I guess?
Classic kids' gifts.
Oh, that's true. I can't imagine having the name Pedro or Tina when Napoleon Dynamite came out
Imagine being born in like
Imagine being born in like
1992
This is my daughter Tina. They didn't know it was gonna happen like 13 years later, bro
Tina you fat lord come get some dinner
Jared has to ruin my fucking life
Or Jeff oh man, that's true. There's probably a lot of Jeff's too
Probably a lot of Jeff's
From 22 Jump Street, but then there's probably some Jeff's that were
Named that because of the movie
probably like some couple saw that movie and then nine months later they were
like his name of Jeff did you think about it bigfoot wiki leaks you don't
hear much about wiki leaks anymore bro bigfoot is on the come up never mind
better than Khaleesi can I say something let me get this off the
screen real quick just in case there's any prudes in chat from the FTC well I
I lost jail.
I do believe that there are some kids out there named Khaleesi,
but I also think that it is under 1,000 kids.
I don't look at it as a Psyop, but I do look at it as one of the,
I almost look at it as Ladasha adjacent,
which is that story that everybody's friend of a friend had
where like names are getting so crazy these days.
My friend's friend is a substitute teacher
and they were like going,
la, ah, la, ah, and then a kid held up her hand
and she's like, it's Ladasha, right?
That one, I don't think that that ever fucking happened.
And I do think that there's some Khaleesis,
but I think that I look upon the Khaleesi
and it dealt with disdain
because it was engineered in a Reddit laboratory
to make people who read it go,
oh, I'm so much smarter than this person
that named their kid Khaleesi.
Now, do I believe that there's a thousand moms out there that named their kid Khaleesi?
Yes, but when we're talking about a planet with like seven plus billion people on it,
I'm not going to let that like radicalize me or even worse, like Dunning Kruger me into thinking
that I'm any smarter than they are, to be honest with you.
It's got to be good, fellas.
Catch me if you can pretty good though.
Catch me if you can over Project X. 21 Jump Street over Project X. 21 Jump Street over
the SpongeBob SquarePants movie. That being said, I have encountered a new type of letterbox
user. I was telling my discord last night. I've long talked about the, you know, Spider
verse one you know Japanese movie usually is Kurosawa one Korean movie usually is
parasite in the top four type individual I'm encountering a new type of letterbox
user and some of them are my viewers because the way I encounter them is they
leave comments on my review that lead me to be like I'm better at watching
movies than you let me see what your top four is and the top four is like 2046
or in the mood for love and then like Seven Samurai or Ron or something
like that. And then the fourth one is like Steven Universe, the movie. And I just can't
bring myself to, but you know what, it's actually, it's a great moment for me, because that's
kind of a moment where I realize, oh my God, I'm literally beefing with like 15 year
olds, which is like, they're just displaying their honest opinions that are appropriate
for their own age, even if Steven Universe is probably the only honest one in the
top four and the rest is trying to be performative to like signal that they have good taste even
though they probably for the most part don't have the lived experience to actually appreciate
these films and are using like second hand other people's opinions of being like that's
the kind of opinion that I want to have when I'm older which is fine honestly because
that's how you get there that's the process but I'm like I gotta stop beating with
people on Letterbox because sometimes you'll be beating with someone on Letterbox look
on their profile and be like this person was born in like 2010 I can't be beefing
with someone born in 2010 about a movie that came out in 1972.
It just doesn't make any goddamn sense.
We take these.
Inside out probably clears.
What is there to beef?
I leave like a nice thoughtful review and they say watch push and boots the last wish.
Like that's what that's where the beef is.
It's just kind of like irritating.
But then when I find out they're literally like a teenager, I'm like, oh,
I'm mad at a teenager for being irritating like turns out. I'm the idiot
Now this is an interesting one
Honk if you love Brian is an awesome tagline, so I've never seen I've never seen this taxi
I have seen the Jimmy Fallon Queen Latifo one
Life of Brian is really good. I
I think it might clear 7.3. Oh, it cleared it by a lot. Okay, fair enough. Okay, the A team is horrible
This is the easiest movie choice of my life. Okay, we love you Brian
67 yes, bro, I
Should watch it was just an accident, but I gotta wait for it to come to the criterion channel now
The A-Team is Dude's Rock. It's literally just like a bad movie that many of you saw when
you were 12. And it'll be linked to how you felt when you saw it when you were 12 for the
rest of your life, which is also, if I may, is literally fine. It's totally okay because
I have the exact same experience with some other movies as well. But it's not a good
movie. Flying tank was a good segment. Why? Because a flying tank is awesome. No, bro.
You know what's awesome is when Chow Young Fat gets a bullet wound in his arm and then
the cop cuts a shotgun shell in half with his knife, pours a gunpowder on the wound
and then lights it with his cigarette and he goes, and he's like, ah, the cauterized
the wounds. That's way more awesome than would it would if a tank fell out of a of a helicopter?
Dude, it would be so epic if a tank fell out of a helicopter. Holy cow.
Criterion shifts your letterbox to the right. That's true. Maybe I should log the A team to
to bring it back to like a Gaussian distribution.
Man has never had a plan come together.
The movie, the A-Team is so bad.
I can't believe you're out here.
Oh, we hate remakes and sequels.
That being said, I do have a soft spot
for the 2011 movie remake of the A-Team.
So, ridiculous.
The show was better.
Okay, grandpa, let's not go crazy here, okay?
The Tapatio Mix Nuts. Two pounds of mixed nuts. You had me at Ola. Can you just do that?
I'm not mad at the guy. You can just rip off Jerry Maguire for your tagline. Or maybe Cameron
Crowe's getting a little residual every time you buy the Tapatio Mix Nuts from Costco.
I don't know.
Talking about criterion but calling other people grandpa, buddy, criterion is for the
uriners, bro.
You're thinking of Turner classic movies.
All I know about Turner classic movies is anytime you turn it on, it always looks like
the fake movie from Home Alone.
It always looks like they're going to say, I believe you, but my tummy gun don't.
I'll give you to the count of ten to get your no good keyster out of my property!
One, two, ten!
Anyway, I have no idea.
I would say two pounds of mix nuts is likely to be two pounds.
Let's say 999, a very safe bet, let's say 899, we take those.
Fake movie within movie is good.
I'm trying to think of other examples.
That would be a good letter box list.
Another one is the fake movie in Burn After Reading that Francis McDormand goes to see
with like the first guy and he doesn't laugh at all.
And then she goes to see it with George Clooney and George Clooney is laughing his ass off.
Oh, that's a classic moment.
I'm thinking the Brunei.
Wrong, y'all.
Mongolia.
Only 1500 from Mongolia, huh?
Uzbekistan?
Much closer to Uzbekistan.
Pakistan?
Oh, that's a good, that's a good performance today.
That's a really good performance today.
Also, where are my pants from the Lego Movie?
Oh, the Lego Movie, Will Ferrell, Kristen Wiig,
Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Leslie Nielsen,
Morgan Freeman, that Lego Movie,
is that the one that you're, one second,
let me consult the sacred texts,
what else we got in there?
Chris Pratt, Elizabeth Banks, that's right, not to be confused with the Lego Movie 2 that
has Ray Fiennes in it.
I mean finding out the thing that really opened up my Will Ferrell win condition in
in a two-nurtle was Brad Pitt being in Mega Minds. Finding out that Brad Pitt
played the the lead hero in Mega Mind has absolutely opened up my Will Ferrell
in condition, bro. He did. He did. He did. He maybe did. Maybe he did. Maybe he
didn't. That's Portugal.
If is also a huge nexus event is Will Ferrell in If, the imaginary friend movie with Ryan
Reynolds, Jim Office, and Bobby Moynan.
No? Well then what the fuck are we talking about if for, bro?
I'm not six years old.
So I don't really see why would we bring up if if it doesn't have Will Ferrell in it.
No one knows, man. Will Ferrell's Stranger Than Fiction?
Yeah, man, what does that have to do with if?
I feel like I'm losing my damn mind.
Brad Pittline? But Brad Pitt isn't Stranger Than Fiction, bro.
I'm freaking out. I'm freaking the fuck out. What are we talking about?
Thank you for saying, what is going on?
You sound like Joe Schmo from the Joe Schmo show.
What is going on?
This is literally last year, man.
Last year had a Jurassic World from Universal.
Probably Rebirth.
Probably.
I don't think it's Jurassic World, bro.
This must be Despicable Me 4.
Yeah, which has Will Ferrell in it, by the way.
And it has Will Ferrell in it.
And it also has, do you know the crazy inn for Despicable Me 4 for Will Ferrell?
Steve Kugen.
Steve Kugen is in this, which allows you to jump in and out of British cinema and it gives
you the nexus event of Tropic Thunder.
And Tropic Thunder has lots of plays.
There's lots of plays you can use with Tropic Thunder to get back into Will Ferrell.
But also, if they go, oh, we'll go less Grossman to Tom Cruise, boom.
You play eyes wide shut, all of a sudden, you got an in to Bewitched.
Because Nicole Kemen and Will Ferrell were in Bewitched together.
Steve Kugin is in the other guys as well.
I'm going to write that one down, bro.
I'm going to write that one down.
Steve Kugin is in that.
Walt Disney, oh, this is Inside Out 2.
the two Titans of the 2024 box office. Paramount picture is 93 million. I have a hard time but
you know what maybe you could be top down Maverick. Or was that 2024? Is that this movie?
Sorry Lupita Nyong'o. It's an animated horror science fiction thriller that's not us because
us came out pre-pandemic, like 2018.
Science. Oh, it's a quiet place three with Jim Office.
This is a very big Jim Office day, man. I mean, he's not in it, but he's getting residuals somewhere.
A24 had a film come out with Mia Goth. This is 2024 Maxine. I think is the third one.
It's X pearl Maxine and then Sony Pictures starring Will Smith in 2024 and it was making
a lot of money.
It's an action comedy crime thriller adventure from 2024.
Oh, the bad boys, the bad boys sequel, bad boys for life.
That's the third one. Hell no. Bad boys ride or die. Okay, we'll take that
They're calling it the the most AI generated poster week of all time
They'd make a lot of money there
Vanessa Hudgens third billing and then you play Vanessa Hudgens
You play high school musical too and boom. What do you get off of that Zoolander to Miley Cyrus is in both of them
That takes you and that's a point for Will Ferrell just in case you were curious
Joe Kat
So here's what I'm thinking.
This is a nested movie to movie, okay?
Dear John, Channing Tatum Lego Movie.
Boom.
You're at Will Ferrell, right there.
Amanda Saifried, I'd have to think about that a little bit.
No, no, I don't. Amanda Saifried, Mean Girls,
Lindsay Lohan, Herbie Fully Loaded,
Kurt Russell, Guardians of the Galaxy II,
Chris Pratt, The Lego Movie.
Moonstruck, I always feel like Jack Nicholson is in this,
and he's not actually in this.
Who is the actor in Moonstruck?
Nicholas Cage. Oh, Nicholas Cage. Nicholas Cage, I have to think about that. I don't have a good Nicholas Cage for it, bro.
Richard Jenkins is in this? Well, then you just go straight to Stepbrothers.
In my world, at least, Richard Jenkins is in Dear John.
I go, but Richard Jenkins is in Burn After Reading with Francis McDormand, who's in
there.
That's so book I actually feel like embarrassed to be playing it.
And then we're trying to get to Nicholas Cage, bro.
Nicholas Cage?
Well, here's one thing you could do.
to November criminals and just me personally I would go Ansel Elgort baby
driver you go Jamie Foxx strays and then guess what bro you're at Will Ferrell
but then also wait you're at Sofia Vergara and this movie's got a lot of
goats in it Greta Lee Jimmy Tatro let me just fuck around a little bit play
like Jimmy Tatro into theater camp and then go theater camp to like Molly Gordon
to like book smart I mean I'm just kind of flying by the seat of my pants now
now I gotta feel like there's a Jason Sudakis to Nicholas Cage connection for
guy like me personally. I have to think about it though. This is a good movie. I don't give
a fuck if you hate booksmart. I think it's a good movie. Oh, it's literally just uh super
bad but remade. Okay and La La Land is literally just the umbrellas of Sherburg remade but
is still fucking worth watching, bro. In my opinion, at least. Go Jason Sudeikis.
Probably Jason Sudeikis, The Fool's Paradise, the Charlie Day movie, which, um,
which's got to be an Adrian Brody, King Kong, Jack Black, Nicholas Cage connection.
I think there's some movies with Nicholas Cage, bro, famously not in the Super Mario
Brothers movie, famously not in Celebrity Escape Room.
Guys, I'm scrolling through the Jack Black filmography and I'm thinking that there's
a chance that I've overrated.
I've opened it too big of a position in Jack Blackstocks.
detrain with Mike White and then you take Mike White to Brad's status which we were
not able to play two days ago and I recall and I feel bad about it. You know what I'm
thinking? Hear me out. Luke Wilson, I got it. Royal Tenenbombs. Ben Stiller, Zoolander.
Where was I going with this one?
Nicholas Cage.
I know where I'm going.
Will Ferrell, not Stray's, the other guys.
Eva Mendes, Bad Lieutenant, Port of Caldon, New Orleans 2009.
Nicholas Cage, Moonstruck, boom, they're calling it the best line of all time.
We take those.
I'm thinking that Will Ferrell might be the new Swanky.
Beginning to feel a lot like Swanky.
You had Chloe Grace Moretz, kick-ass.
Oh!
And from kick-ass, I could have gotten a Nicholas Cage,
or alternatively, I could have gone
to super bad Seth Rogen, Anchorman,
which has Will Ferrell in it, as Ron Burgundy.
And that would be a fucking, that would be a point.
That would be a point in Sinai to an hurdle.
You're crazy for this one.
Did you know that's a Herzog movie?
Yeah bro, I saw it when it came out.
You ever been beating in a back alley till you
pissed blood?
Of course, I know all about.
It's very Herzogian, man.
Um, Conor Badard might be a WHL Chicago Blackhawks guy.
I literally don't know who Conor Badard played for in Juniors, but safe bet.
San Jose Sharks, Macklin Celebrini, who did you play for?
It's a great question.
We'll just try a Macklin Celebrini in there.
Okay, we'll do the new Willenium.
Why would you type Smith?
Of all the names to just type the last name.
name. Okay, well it turns out I have no idea. I mean obviously we got to see Chris
cellos in here. Crazy hair man. And the sharks and the haves. It feels like
something should be jumping out of me. Something like a little bit like a
Sheldon Sourai maybe? No, he's not right, bro. It's the, he went to the ducks. I
get the ducks and the sharks confused all the time. It's kind of like a
a little bit of a West Side story, you might say.
I'm just gonna move on from that.
That was embarrassing.
Bro does not know the sharks.
I only have room in my brain for one expansion team
that can't win a Stanley Cup, okay?
That's not even an own.
Like literally the other one is my favorite hockey team.
Columbus? No, it's not Columbus.
Thoughts on who will take the Walter Cup and the PWH out?
Don't talk to me. I'm rooting for the Montreal Victoire.
But why are the Golden Knights so bad, bro?
It's hard to get them into a groove.
Because they play like one game and then they have a two month break, bro.
Minnesota Frost-Hatrick. I'm sad to say
Patrick. I'm sad to say that I will be in my discord, I will be calling out every Minnesota
wild loss and every Minnesota frost loss for the rest of the season. Because Quinn Hughes
in my opinion is the devil. He is Satan. He is Beelzebub. He's the Lord of the Flies.
And I will be, I thought that I would be happy for him, but instead I wish him professionally
speaking, nothing but the worst, and I hope that he experiences true misery and the sports
fans watching the teams also experience true misery.
And the Frost haven't even done anything, but fuck them too, because sports fandom doesn't
have to be irrational or doesn't have to be rational, I should say.
So I hope the Minnesota Frost never win another game this season.
I kind of like the Timberwolves to be honest, I got nothing against the Timberwolves,
hockey wise I'm praying that we'll see the modal Minnesota wild experience which
is threatening for the president's trophy and then losing in six games in the
first round of the playoffs to a team that then loses in six games in the next
round of the playoffs that would that would be fine and dandy for me.
Anne Hathaway, one word title, we'll go Havoc, Joseph Gordon-Levitt didn't have to do all that.
Anne Hathaway, three or more word title, lots of options.
Obviously there's the Princess Diaries too, Royal Engagement, and oh, guys can I be the evil today?
On the set, the Princess Diaries 2 Royal Engagement, that 1% is not low enough, unfortunately.
Title starts with IP.
That's how heavy rain starts, too.
Title starts with IP.
Obviously, there's Lamez or Abla.
Are you in...
She's in Bridezilla or Bride Wars.
Which start with Ida P. Now that I think about it. She's obviously an interstellar
Um, I mean we could play the princess Diaries one
I don't really want to play the princess Diaries one probably they're in half way
She hasn't really done them any movies. I'm gonna say Les Miserables. It might be number one
That that could easily be number one
Robert Pattinson
One word title is going to be Cosmos, Cosmopolis, David Cronenberg.
Title starts with I to P. Ignore Articles from Robert Pattinson.
Really easy to put a Twilight movie in here.
What was the one where he's, is it remember me?
the end of the movie it zooms out and he's in the like the east tower of the
twin towers on September 11th. It is remember me? Okay. I, JK, LMNOP. It's not
it's not included in there. It's not included in there unfortunately. I think I
am gonna play a twilight here. You know I'm realizing that we will play
Mickey 17 in I to P. Damn, that stinks. Great, I don't think Mickey 17 is a great
movie but that is an awesome poster. And the movie's okay.
I mean it's not great but it's not unwatchable for sure. One word
titled from Sally Hawkins. Can I hit you with something crazy? Chad, can I
get a verdict on this? A hyphenated word is one word as far as I'm concerned. No
chance, well you know what can't you get like a hyphenated words are counted as
one word bro! Yes! That's big okay. And then the shape of water doesn't work for
So we go the shape of water and then here's the thing
I know she's in Paddington and probably Paddington too
But I'm gonna go Paddington one because she might not be in Paddington in Peru, bro
She is in Paddington to
People aren't fucking with happy go lucky, huh the other side of heaven
passenger I
Love to play this and just be like do I know any of these movies and the answer to this question is no today
I know none of these movies. This is crazy.
That's who she is and bring her back.
Can I say I'm not like a movie pussy for the most part.
I was going to watch bring her back because I am like the target audience for elevated horror.
But then every review is like this is actually this is a good movie that's actually really tough to watch.
And I was like maybe I won't watch that on the bike then.
It's a horrific watch.
I mean I made it through Bleeder.
Bleeder's got its own…
I know, apparently I didn't know Bleeder was out of print for 30 years, so I'm the
only person on earth who has seen it even though it's from a famous director.
It's insane.
If you ever watch Bleeder, refer to this clip.
watching the movie it's so insane that every single review is like Mads
Mickelson in this movie is just like me did you you have no comments on the film
except for that given the insane stuff that happens the obscene indecent acts in
the final third of that movie your only thought on it is me and Mads are me
and Mads are so alike it's crazy they made a movie where it's like Mads
couldn't get a date. Brother, did you see what they did to that guy? You have no
thoughts on that at all? It didn't make you feel anything? It didn't make you
disgusted or exhilarated? It didn't make you think anything about yourself? You're
just like, they've got the hot guys playing a guy who has bad luck with
women. What the fuck are you talking about, bro?
I don't think the movie is that well, I think the movie is really good for a part of it
And then the third act just completely falls apart, but
Concise a
Adjective meaning but it was added to the criterion collection
March 1st what I recommended I'd see you watch the umbrellas of Sheburgr first for sure
Basement a noun meaning the part of a bill
iceberg a noun meaning a large floating map
Headdress. A noun meaning an often elaborate cover.
Okay. Spelled like it sounds.
Sofa. A noun meaning...
Transit. A noun meaning...
He spelled basements.
Syllabus. A noun meaning a summary outline of a...
I know you know how to spell it, because you have to write mom's basement whenever a web form asks you to fill out your address.
dress. Oh, man, tonsillitis, a noun meaning inflammation of the tonsils. New Latin, oh,
fuck. First off, I spelled tonsillitis wrong, which makes no sense to me. Secondly, I think
I spelled it wrong because I was thinking of a joke. It was like, doesn't tonsillitis
sound like the Greek God of given head? Like, damn, bro, you okay? You're so pale.
You look like you just got sucked off by tonsillitis.
Mycology.
A noun meaning a branch of biology.
Regalia.
A plural.
Next.
Unprepossessing.
An active meaning not tending to create
a favorable impression.
Unprepossessing.
Can you do that?
That's a German word, bro.
They have one too many prefixes on that.
Chaplin.
A noun meaning a clergyman in charge.
Palladium.
A noun meaning a stash?
Bacall. A adjective meaning of related...
Oh, is there really no H in Bacall?
Or is it B-A-C-H-A-L?
Not too C. Oh, Bucall...
Oh, what are you doing?
Radicchio. A noun meaning a chicory of a red ver...
Radicchio. A noun meaning a chicory.
Radikio Loki, most overrated of all the salad greens, by the way, which is crazy because
it's more like a salad red, but that is buko.
Tonsilitis is 2Ls, okay, fair enough.
Arugula's the goat.
I love Arugula, man.
I also love, I have nowhere to go from it, but I love the comment that said don't
talk to her like that.
I thought that was really funny, to be honest.
Chili crab versus butter mochi.
So chili crab is routinely ranked
as one of the most delicious foods on the planet,
but this does appear to be like mochi
inside of like a dessert bread,
which is really appealing.
Motal. Motal has a certain menacing look to it.
What's just the cheese?
I thought maybe there was like some ice cream involved or something.
Or a delight. I mean it says it's delightful right there. How could we not choose that?
Pastramalia. Looks like
it looks pretty fucking good if I may say so myself.
versus a stew with tender lamb with some almonds on top.
I gotta go with the stew on.
Okay, fair enough, man.
It's gonna be anything that has torte at the end, wins.
Banana roll versus loco moco.
Loco moco, high key,
one of the most delicious foods
on this green planet that we have.
So, okay, honestly, fucked up that that's not
at least above 80, the cheesy might scroll, a Vegemite cinnamon roll.
I'm going to go with this one, I'm going to go with PK on that one.
I'm going to go with what appear to be like stewed chicken parts.
Meat on a stick rarely loses in this game.
Here's to be some kind of Russian Samosa against a soup that I must assume they named after
they tasted it.
So it must be good, but I'll take the Russian Samosa.
And then it's, that looks pretty fucking good too.
A curry of any sort is really tough to go up against.
We barely beat the average.
That's embarrassing, man.
Eggs, onions, tomatoes, cumin seeds, chili powder, curry leaves,
garam masala.
You see garam masala, you guess India.
Egg burji, yum it up.
Wow, this is insane.
It's a bunch of like, it is a visually striking seafood salad.
seafood salad. I think that they've certainly nailed the presentation.
It's hard-boiled eggs and this is the type of shit that Ashurbanipal was doing
to his ops in Assyria in like negative 800 BC bro. So like I don't really know
what the beef is with the shrimp. If I can be glib with a little bit of word
play. I have absolutely no idea. But here's the thing. I see this is like a European assortment of
seafood. And I also see pine nuts, which are Italian caviar, which I traditionally think of as
Eastern European hard boiled eggs, which I also think of as predominantly Eastern European, and
then olives, which are like Mediterranean. This might sound crazy, bro. I'm going to say this
This is the type of shit that they're eating in Portugal.
I have nothing to base that on.
It's warm but to the east, maybe Italy?
All right, bro.
I should not have clicked yum.
Can I retroactively?
I just didn't think.
I was like, I like food.
And then I remembered what I was looking at.
I would pass on that, I think, or eat parts of it.
Apples, sugar, and egg whites.
That looks awesome.
A marshmallow-like consistency?
Apples is crazy.
I'm gonna go straight back to Italy, bro.
That's cold.
It's to the northeast of Italy?
Russia?
Correct.
Yeah, I would yum that for sure.
I think we mugged the average severely today.
Am I the first person to, oh, this is all guesses.
Yes, we gapped them.
I said gapped, by the way, destroyed.
It was a Russian table.
I forgot about looking at tablecloths and place settings.
That can be a really big indicator.
It's everybody's favorite game jerk chicken and chips over cheeseburger for sure
No price dad is kind of cheating, but that's okay. All right. What do we like here?
It's not even close for me. We've had this discussion a hundred times
You don't need to hear it again. No matter how much you'd like to if this wins. We don't live in a just universe
It was good. It's good that it wasn't that close
waffle on a stick
Would go crazy if it was from Japan, but it's not from Japan
So then we got to we got to use our our forebrain versus the breakfast box. I think it's gonna be breakfast box, bro. I
Maintain if that said it was from Japan instead of America. That's getting like at least 85%
Shish kebab with chips and curry sauce looks looks alright
Chicken gyros looks looks pretty good, man. I
Gotta go with the gyro. I think but I'm a little surprised that this was on 68%
This is not tough, but only because one of them looks so much worse, the hot dog and waffle.
Nordic countries, I don't want to pit you against each other. I don't want to take any beef with you.
I will say, I've got a Sweden, any Swedes in the chat. First off,
I got a little beef with you because of the curling stuff. I'm not going to lie. I'm not
on the curling team, but I got a little bit of beef with you because of the curling stuff.
I also have beef with you because you are supposed to be good at hockey and yet every single tournament that I watch that you play in
You're you're like the the narrative is a perennial disappointment
They're always like the top-ranked side and then like losing the first
Elimination round and I know that like you're probably like
That hurts me more than you and it does but like I need you to clear somebody so that we can play you in the finals instead of playing America
If you would do us the favor of finally playing up to the quality of your roster and competing
with Finland and the United States and even Czechia, Canada would stop getting eliminated
by Finland, the United States and Czechia.
But I will, this is where I did not want to get into the hockey stuff necessarily.
You can keep posting a poke left, poke right, curling stone.
We got the gold medal around our necks.
You know when you talk about gold, there'll always be someone who says gold plated, like
buddy, but do I give a fuck?
I'm not a metallurgist, it looks fucking swag, okay?
Regardless, what I want to say, you guys are doing something wrong with the pizza and you're
doing something wrong with the hot dogs.
This is not how these are supposed to be.
The pizza that we saw in Norway made my skin itch just looking at the picture.
They cut it with scissors, man
They got kiwi on pizza, I don't know they they ain't doing it right man. Don't they put like Doritos on pizza over there, too
Anyway, it's gonna be that I can't believe that's at 80% but fair enough
Sausages wrapped in a giant Yorkshire pudding is kind of calling to me
But this is also kind of I mean this is cooked so well
It's it's the exact perfect color for this type of food to be this looks pretty damn good
And for me to say that about a burger is pretty rare man. I can't be mad about that. That's a great-looking picture
That's also a great-looking picture for different reasons. I'm gonna go jerk chicken with rice and salad though
Rare good-looking pizza in
Scrandle
Expend on the expensive side, but I mean you're at the blackburn rovers game lad and I got to be honest the chicken share box looks pretty fucking good
Had to be done you don't get good pizza in scrandle you got to take it when you get it
Okay bacon cheeseburger with chips. I would say it looks just below passable, which is not that bad the pie chips and gravy looks incredible
Hotdog loaded fries and a beer, $32.50.
Yeah, they're fucking with you.
But you know what?
If you're pissed off about this price, all I want to say is it do be your own.
Because the MLS is very dentist-coded.
So I know that like half of you are fucking dentists, engineers, computer programmers,
and you're going to the MLS game and going like, why is this shit so expensive?
It's so expensive because the people that go to MLS games are fucking dentists and venture
capitalist guys and computer engineers and say, it's because of you, bro.
It's the same reason I'm cursing your ass out when I go into mech and I'm like, why
the fuck is a pearl Izumi cycling bib $220?
It's because motherfucking dentists are like, I'll pay for that.
No problem.
Am I crazy to think it still wins though?
I mean, the fries look horrible and the prices, it'll have you aghast.
Okay, I mean, 10%, they put out a hit on that.
It's definitely this.
Also, I don't even drink anymore, that beer, it looks incredible.
Is that a damn heffa bison, you son of a bitch?
That looks like a great summer afternoon right there.
We need a consumer union.
Well part of the other problem is, and I've been a victim and also a perpetrator of this
myself, but you go, I would never pay $23 for a beer and then you're at the Canucks
game and you're like well you can't watch the Canucks without having a couple of beers
and then you come home and you're like and the beers were $23 each can you believe it?
Like you are a captive audience.
If you drink going to the stadium and being like I'll just choose whether or not to
get a beer at a run time based on the price it's a very dangerous game to be playing.
You should really decide before you walk in the door whether or not you're going
to get a couple. Because otherwise you have but in like the wrong direction.
Drink before? The other problem, I know we keep having the same conversations, which is my own
fault, but then you like if you pre-drink the game, you're spending half the game in line for
for the bathroom. And it's like, but then if you're not
pre-drinking the game, you're watching the 2026 Vancouver
Canucks sober.
I just think like, I don't even do that on TV. Like, I don't
even put the I used to have the Canucks games on in the
background. Well, I like did the dishes. Now it's it's a
fucked up way to be a sports fan, but it's very low
pressure, which is nice. Now I literally like check the score. And when I see that we're
losing to one, I go, oh, thank God, that's a relief. I was worried we might win this one.
And then I wake up and I have like a Google notification that's like, you know, Seattle
Kraken five Vancouver Canucks one. And I'm like, all right. Good job, fellas. It is
fun. It's not the best time to be a fan of the Canucks, even during the rebuild, because
we still haven't bottomed out. Like we have no real elite young talent that's playing
in the show yet. In a couple of years, when we likely still suck, but maybe have a little
bit of young prospects coming in, that'll be a peak time. Because I was there for
the last rebuilds like six years ago. And the peak of the rebuild was definitely like
Besser rookie season in the Pederson rookie season in the Hughes rookie season. And you
were like, oh, this is we lost, but Pederson scored two goals and had an assist. This is
the best case scenario. We did win two Calder's in a row, bro. And I wanted to win a third,
but I mean it's in reverse order, but I guess Clayton Kelly really did have a good case over
Brock Besser. Higher increase in density, I'm going to say Arizona. Swung less towards
Republicans. I feel like Memphis, here's my thing, I feel like Waco is probably like pretty
staunchly Republican, whereas Memphis seems to me, based, sourced my ass to be the kind
of city that could have moved from purple to dark red over that period. It's actually
more libertarian. Okay, well, that was just like that one house, right? Just that one house.
Higher percentage of adults with a vision disability, say this part right here. Higher
percentage of workers in manufacturing. I'm going to say not the part that's going to
have a lot in tourism and higher median commutes. It's got to be, it's got to be
Polkeepsie Newberg, because I feel like some of you are going to be commuting to
New York City. Yeah, that makes sense to me. I mean I think Peoria probably has
like worse traffic, but
You said the name wrong.
Sinidachi.
Guys it finally happened.
We're on cat fishing where I have been, I'm going to, I promote radical honesty here.
I've been told that I'm an answer today.
But a thousand people told me overtly, you are an answer in cat fishing today and 9,000
people said, I'm not going to tell you why but you need to play cat fishing today.
So I used a little bit of, call it contextual deduction to determine that you have to skip
it.
I'm taking my point because one day this like AI will probably use this as like
a measure of human IQ at some point.
So I need to put it in my best showing possible, which I'm realizing is now horrible
Because sometimes I play this on my phone while I'm like pooping,
and I don't even type the answer in,
because I can't be fucked to type answers in on my phone
keyboard.
So I just think of what I think the answer is,
and then press the skip button to see the answer.
So the AI is going to be like, this guy is a fucking idiot.
Put him on the moisture farm or whatever.
Put him with Uncle Lars and Aunt Baru.
Anyway, regions of France, in the Caribbean, in the eastern Caribbean, the windward islands.
French Guiana is not an island.
I really don't want to say...
Oh, I think it's Dominica now that I think about it.
Martin.
OK, I was going to get it wrong anyway.
I was concerned that I would write the Falkland Islands,
and people would be like, you're the worst person in the world.
But now that I think about it, we
don't even have to consider it, because that's
like a Britain, Argentina thing, not even a French thing.
So Eastern Bloc mass media, film genres, Western genres.
So I can only think of spaghetti Westerns.
Those are Olsterans, which is a fucking awesome name.
Holy cow.
I put Borscht Western and got it.
That's crazy.
Soviet Italy?
Well, I just didn't have any other answer, man, to be honest.
1986 Birds?
It's not me.
It's not me.
20 athletes who are around 40 years old from Jamaica.
Yeah, bro. I think it's the same boat.
It's crazy that he is.
First off, I've been saying Usain for 18 years, and apparently it's Usain, so I apologize.
Secondarily, it's crazy that we're like the same age and I've accomplished so much and he's accomplished so very little.
So, undecidable problems, P equals MP, bro, never mind, let's move on, be Northern Lion,
that's me.
I do also create content exclusively for YouTube, suggested by Wendy's.
I'd say I'm a little bit of a service streamer as well.
Signature kind of bad. Well, at some point I decided I didn't just want to use my real-life signature that I use like on the back of my credit card.
1840 Births to our French novelist 1902 Deaths. Just be honest, I have absolutely no idea. It's Emile Zola.
505 Games Games, I repeat myself, designed by Hideo Kojima from 2019, Asexual Fiction
as Death Stranding, bro, 1960s in Manhattan, 1969 in New York, Gay Liberation, Law Enforcement
Operations against LGBTQ venues.
Stonewall.
You guys thought, I wouldn't get that one.
And there was a moment where I thought, I wouldn't get it too.
Because I think I was kind of getting Stonewall and Selma
confused for a minute.
And I was like, this will be really bad.
So I better lock in and make sure that I get this one
right.
Because if you're wrong like that,
you're kind of wrong twice.
So I got myself off the hook.
1957 establishments in Austria,
Adams for Peace,
Research Institutes from 1957.
1957 establishments in Austria.
I have no idea, um, the scientific organization, it's a European space agency, the international,
the IEIEE, isn't this that mean cat bro?
Oh, IEIEE, oh, oh, oh, oh, IEIEE, yeah.
Yes, he knows, he knows.
14th century English poets.
This is Jeffrey Chaucer, bro.
Literally had no idea until I said Canterbury Tales.
But also what was going on in my head was 13, 1386.
How does a Catholic English translator, civil servant, medieval orientalist
And so let's grow up to be a writer from London and an English satirical poet.
Do you know Lin-Manuel Miranda directed Tick-Tick Boom?
Bro, I'm literally like the most known out of all these.
No offense to everybody here who's not the same boat.
Sorry, I'm just going to say it.
If we're talking about Northern Lion vs. Chaucer, the people have spoken.
Because you got nerds watching you who play browser games?
Oh yeah, man.
And definitely no nerds read the Canterbury tales.
Nice try.
Then I only have two minutes left
We need some a mental moray type shit
Do bandit before you log off. Oh, let me guess it's uh, it's my billboard hot 200 song
Gotta catch a honker
But all you guys have ruined another doll for me. Do you guys just never learn do you?
Huge. Test stroke. Imagine if this was the whole in one. Dude, they should make one day
kind of hard golf, should just be like a nearly full power shot with a fucked up angle. I
got to stop, can I, and I don't, I'm not saying this to like make them feel bad, but
But I've got to stop suggesting things in the dulls because sometimes the creators of
the dulls are listening and they do it and then they go, well they did it because of
me so now I don't want to do it, which is obviously like a bit of a personality quirk
if not an outright flaw on my own.
more like it. You got to work on that. I'm kind of allergic to giving the people what
they think they want sometimes. No doubt about that. I think it's largely worked out as well.
know I mean bro I mean if I'd listen to I'd listen to your advice would be a
really different place right now we would be on like our our 126th let's
play of XCOM enemy within with impossible Iron Man and there would be
like the six most annoying motherfuckers on the planet watching that would be
dictating every single decision and leaving like a horrible horrible comments
man just leaving God awful. I've been watching you for years and I can't
believe you haven't figured out that overwatch is a low priority on the first
turn when instead you should be using a yellow move to trigger the first pod of
sectoids and then give tempo to the three remaining units like yeah streaming
ruined them. It is great library and you have to admit you've been around more than a couple
of years at this point. The only thing that the subreddit can agree on is that I've been
getting stupider for a long time, which means that in like when they started watching me,
I must have been smart as fuck. Because I've been on a very downward trajectory. There's
threads from like 2015 that are like, wow, he's gotten so much stupider lately,
content has gone from high effort bespoke let's plays where he did all the voice acting to
they're just talking about jerking off all the time etc etc and i'm like damn which crazy is
like i mean you could just look at the letterbox bro i'm getting smarter at a rapid pace and obviously
it's never gonna stop and I'll just keep getting smarter and smarter until haters
will say until the day I die but I don't think that's necessarily a foregone
conclusion at this point because we're doing it the way that nobody's ever done
it before. You're happier now? Yes, but that's not a product of the stream. The
stream is an honest representation of who I am as a person and we are friends.
I'm happier now because I have responsibilities that force me to
get off this dang, this dang idiot box at around 3.30, 4.00 p.m. And then when I have
idle, and I tell this to Apollo all the time, when I have idle time, instead of being like,
let me see what the most annoying people on earth think about me. And they talk to
me as if they have no respect for me at all, even though I'm their favorite person in
the world. They talk about me like I'm an op, even though we're supposed to be
instead of doing that, I'm like, oh, I gotta fucking do the dishes and then load the dish washer and then I gotta, I gotta fold the towels together.
Fold the towels up and then put them back in the, in the, in the cupboard.
Which I think is honest, is genuinely, I don't think this is like a universal truth.
But if you are a content creator with some reach, having a lot of shit to do like after the stream,
So you're not just like streams over.
Let's see what everyone thought about the stream is huge.
So I didn't mean to go off on this.
It's a very like masturbatory tangent.
But like, I firmly believe you were not
put on this earth to have strong opinions about content.
Or yes, for sure.
Not content though.
You can't be, in your 30s, you've
got to be thinking about an exit strategy for like,
I can't be 42 and getting mad at content.
That's like the age my dad was when he was like
the senior department head of manufacturing at the factory.
He had eight people working under him at this age.
I can't be like,
aren't you gonna read out the dialogue
that's on the screen or even worse?
Why is he reading the dialogue out that's on the screen?
We can all read it right there.
All those jobs are gone?
Yeah, I know but that's not my fault.
Me being a streamer didn't replace like eight people at the factory. I think
Unless there were like eight eight jesters hanging out in the warehouse
There was like a troop of acrobats and contortionists that used to
Help everybody lock in on the assembly line, and then they just put one monitor out there instead
Well, of course we'll do Bandle
Anyway, I'm happy to have you here
Chicken potato dude, I'm so ready for chicken potato. I've kind of had like an otherworldly hunger lately
Anyone else kind of fumbling the snatched era by being really, really disciplined with your
diet for six days and then on the seventh day being like, I'm insanely hungry, I'm going
to eat approximately four days worth of food in a single day and like negatively compensate
for all of the progress that I maybe have made through the last week. Not to equate weight loss
with progress necessarily, but...
We click on this. I could just say I'm kind of on like a Ramadan thing, I suppose.
But that'd be a problem for me because I kind of like wake up. I kind of am keeping like the
sun's hours right now, which in the wintertime means you are not awake for a long time.
And can't you only eat like when the sun is down?
I don't know.
Could have a tapeworm or something, I don't know.
I feel like this is really loud, so I'd like to apologize for that.
As of right now, this could be any song.
This is giving like what's new pussycat?
Or it's not unusual?
It's not unusual and it's still got it.
okay yes it is tom jones
it is not uncommon
all right that's
it's coming
it's coming
that's cool
hang on
run the tape back
take out tom run the tape back
2, 1, 2, 3, 4.
I like that. I like that a lot.
I like that a lot.
Gen Z, let's team up. Let's fucking link and build and bring back jazz establishments.
I've been watching a lot of movies where, like, people go,
what should we do tonight?
And they go, I don't have any good ideas.
Let's just go to the jazz bar.
We need some fucking, oh, yes, I've
been watching a lot of John Woo movies, basically.
We need some fucking jazz bars to come back.
I know it's impossible to open anything.
But honestly, like, I live in a city with, like, I mean,
in Vancouver proper, there's close to a million people.
I think we have one jazz bar.
Might have two.
Give me a second here.
Jazz bars, Vancouver.
There's Frankie's Jazz Club.
One year ago from Nice, Vancouver.
Jazz in Vancouver is at a high point.
Oh, shit, man.
This is a great time to be a jazz head in Vancouver.
There seems to be more happening than any time I've been here.
After Corey's weed seller closed in the mid-2010s, there was a lull then the pandemic hit.
Now the scene has come back to life with a vengeance.
Coastal Jazz and Blues is still the mainstay of the scene.
Frankies is the main jazz club similar to the seller.
Not surprising, a lot of the programming is by Corey Weeds.
Weeds also promotes shows under his own name.
He runs a record label.
Seller Jazz, he does it all.
We need more, man.
I don't know.
The guy who hasn't been to a jazz bar in like nine years or something.
Why are you reading the text on the screen?
Okay, that's a good callback.
Anyway, it's 2.09.
That's chicken potato time.
I'm going to send you to my wife's stream and I'll be back tomorrow to do something and then play
I think tomorrow even though Slay the Spire 2 comes out we're only going to do like Slay the
Spire 2 from release until noon and then from noon to two we're going to do some friend slop
and Apollo said don't you want to take don't you want to cancel the friend slop of a scam line
so that you can play more Slay the Spire 2 and I said I'm sure after two hours of reading
chat and playing Slay the Spire, I'll probably have had my fill for one day. And he said that's
the real... he said that's facts. He put a facts machine emoji. Because I know some of you are
going to be in the chat and you're going to be talking like there's a tier list and there's no
tier list yet because the game has just come out. He really hates you guys. Swoogity bird.
I'm talking about you. I was born in 1601. I'm a let's player. There is a tier list
already. I gotta peep that. Oh, if I read, if I study the whole tier list and I just
go live and never lose. Oh, imagine. Bye.