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Good morning gamers. I've been working on a new character. It's a very rich and textured
character. Do you want to hear it? Wait, the shine of your Japan, the sparkle of your
China. Dude. Me going off on like an 11 minute rant about how good Bodhisattva is and about
how it represents the zenith of Steeley Dan's countdown to ecstasy era jam band phase before
they pivoted entire leader becoming like studio perfectionist which also worked out meanwhile
my daughter is locked in the car seat going daddy can you play some perigrip daddy can
you play a perigrip song daddy can you play it's raining tacos by perigrip origin this
character is just me I haven't done my character yet that's not my character my character is
guy with no money ordering a sandwich at Subway.
Yeah, can I get a zero inch, nothing on none bread?
That's the character that I've been working on.
I've been agonizing over
over whether it should be no bread or none bread.
I gotta think about that.
No, can I, yeah, can I get a zero inch,
Nothing on none?
Something like that?
I think it's pretty good, man.
I just can't really like read the speed
at which Chad is going by.
Let me close my window before I say something embarrassing.
I did like that shit
Cha!
Have you seen The Devil Wears Prada 2? Nope. Have you seen 32 short films about Glenn Gould?
It's kind of crazy. I don't know fuck all about Glenn Gould. I
Finish watching the movie. I still don't know fuck all about Glenn Gould. I know everything about his values
His thoughts on the hereafter, his supernatural musings, his relationship between art and the
artist, audience and performer.
I know, it's kind of a spittin' when he said, I've long thought that there's a ratio of
time that you need to spend with other people versus time to spend yourself.
And I don't know whether it's two and seven eighths or seven and two eighths or something
like that.
I was like, damn, this motherfucker is spittin', man.
And all the reviews of 32 short films about Glenn Gould are like, I watched the movie,
I still don't know anything about him.
Okay, bro, go to Wikipedia, get all the important stuff, like born, died, most important work,
personal life, okay, motherfucker.
Find all that shit steeped in artifice.
All I know about is how we treated other people and his values, which I guess is
nothing to you.
They don't get it, man. They don't get it. I did not just find Jordy Greep.
What I did just realize is that both Jordy, Greep, and Glenn Gould have a literate of G's.
Saw Slacker last weekend in sane movie for sure. It's actually one of the most sane movies ever made.
It's just 90 minutes of people having conversations.
Nobody said anything?
Nobody said anything?
I haven't even seen a plexi yet though.
Slacker?
Slacker is good, man.
Slacker is worth watching.
You guys see singing in the rain?
My daughter came home and was like, I want to watch singing in the rain, out of nowhere.
So I said, oh my god, a chance to watch a 100 year old movie that I've never seen before
and also my kid wants to watch it, this is a dream come true.
We watched it like 15 minutes in, she was like, I'm kind of bored.
I was like, this is the greatest shit that's ever been fucking made.
Are you kidding me?
Got a dance, got a dance
It's fucking crazy man
Broadway rhythm, everybody dance
Dude was fucking popping off
People are going
I don't really understand the point of the Broadway melody section
It's 17 minutes long and it adds nothing to the story
It's Gene Kelly putting his nuts on your fucking forehead
He took his nuts out and he dangled them on your forehead and he went
Gotta dance, gotta dance.
Cause you can't fucking do that shit that he's doing.
That's why he fucking did it,
it's cause he's the only one that can fucking do that shit,
bro.
Drank concentrate again.
I'm actually waiting for my wife to get back
from the coffee shop with that iced Americano.
Can I tell you something that's so fucking for real too?
Sorry, the queue's taking a long time today.
They're trying to find games at my level.
Went to coffee shop on Saturday.
This is how you know your boy uses Samsung Pay.
I said, freedom is not carrying your European style
carry-all bag with your credit card in it.
I'm just gonna bring my phone all by my
iced Americano and my Queen of Mon on Samsung Pay.
Tap it on the machine.
This card is not authorized.
Please insert your card.
Okay, scroll over to a different card that's in Samsung Pay, tap it, this card is not authorized.
Do you need to insert your, and you know what they said?
I swear to you with God as my witness, they said, you're good, just get us back next time.
I went, oh, they put it on my fucking tab.
You know how good that feels?
It feels like you passed a vibe check that you didn't even know you were being subjected
to. So to pay back their faith in mankind and their faith in me, I rode my bike to the coffee
shop yesterday with my credit card and bought another coffee and then also said, hey, here's
the receipt from the shit that I couldn't pay for yesterday and paid it off. And I feel
So we've created more faith in humanity as a result of this.
But suffice to say, I don't know whether it's fucking the Clover FinTech company or Samsung
themselves.
You guys got to fix this fucking bug, okay?
Because Samsung Pay is not working with Clover Point of Sale machines right now.
So somebody's got a fucking responsibility right now to figure this shit out, okay?
Bro, I'm not banning Nuke.
You've lost your fucking mind.
I'm not banning Nuke and Dust.
We're in 5K Elo.
Who do you think you are?
I am.
Yeah, I am.
Anyway, sitting in the rain kind of incredible.
They were spitting with that one.
I forgive Gene Kelly for being a little Seth MacFarlane coded.
We were playing Mirage, OK.
Let's do it, man.
So you didn't watch the game?
Yeah, I watched the Habs game yesterday.
Kind of crazy.
They got as many shots as the Colorado Avalanche scored
goals.
Hey, Minnesota, maybe you need to trade for another
defensemen maybe maybe just one more defensemen would really help you out
fuck off I hope that it's the summer of humiliation for well I don't give a fuck
about the timber wolves they can win the the chip for all I care but I want
nothing but misery for the wild
All right guys I got bomb where we going? Classic rush B.
Classic B rush.
With the technological nine.
Take nine, that's kind of what the Minnesota Wild did last night.
Got it, anyway.
We're going man, we're going.
Guys, green has bomb, green has bomb, hold W.
Green has bomb guys.
Fuck it.
Mugs.
Mugs one's further. Who's next, bro?
Did you see that fucking- that first headshot was fucking insane, bro.
I got you covered, Cat.
Oh, okay. That was W game sense, though. That was W game sense to- to be there.
Was it not?
I thought so.
These view models are so crazy, man.
Come on, come on, man!
With the CZ, the Honey Paisley CZ, we take those.
Damn, that was like 200 damage, man.
Hey, and now my co-workers made fun of me for using the word facade in conversation today.
Yeah, we live in a culture of anti-intellectualism.
People are literally gobbling up the slurry of Jason Momoa, Mark Wahlberg movies that they
put on prime video.
They're literally like, I have no choice but to watch this to be part of the conversation.
No, bro.
You want to be part of the conversation?
the jean hackman bro we dropped bomb and spawn what are we doing oh I'm obviously
I'm not fucking going down there you have to be an idiot I hear you moving
got one rare you just make a noise you didn't take any damage you can't be going
when you don't take any damage bro all right what are we doing lads holy holy
Holy shit!
I peek him.
Bro, this is a damn mess, man.
Holy fuck.
I got jungle covered, brother?
I think? Oh, motherfucker.
No! No! No! No! No! I knew! I knew! I knew! I knew! I just saw a second guy when maybe
that was the first guy.
And now I watched Francis Hawn Starship Troopers over the weekend and none of my friends said they'd watch them.
Okay, what's the problem? Did you watch them because you wanted to watch them?
Or did you watch them thinking that your friends would also watch them after you watched them?
And then, like, because you said they were good or whatever, that seems crazy.
What are we doing here, lads? Pistol round?
It's fun to discuss media with friends, okay, then fucking collude on that shit in advance.
Don't just give them an ultimatum.
I mean, I like both of those movies, but that's like a, that's a crazy play to just
watch some shit and then be like, you guys should watch this too.
Like, that's not really fair.
You guys have to come to the conclusion of what film you're gonna watch in advance
so that it's amenable for as many people as possible.
I literally had him. I literally had him.
I got him three times for sure.
Why'd they have to pull that stunt at the end of singing in the rain?
I did think it was kind of crazy that like, he's in love with Debbie Reynolds.
And then, in order to get her career started,
he tricks her into thinking that like he hates her i don't think that
i don't think that's uh... necessary
i don't think he had to do that i don't think he had to
he had the resort to that but i don't know like
romance was uh... romance was different in nineteen fifty two whatever
it's so crazy to think of like my my grandparents being like sixteen and
paulina fuck up it's in the rain
literally mod them literally took out both of his knees
thanks for the cover yellow by the way
i'm literally in three book clubs just for the discussion
okay but do you go to the club and go here's what i read this week
you guys should read it too or do you have like a maybe a whatsapp group where
they go
hey marches book is going to be the old man in the sea
and then
everybody reads it with advanced notice and then you
you go and you talk about it like that seems more
seems more appropriate
i mean i'm gonna be honest i would be pretty pissed off if like
my friend got mad at me for not watching a movie just because he watched it
i would find that deeply annoying
i'd be like i thought we were out here like watching art for his own merits
and then everything else is a bonus
i do like i do like jean kelly in
Counter-Strike, got a plant!
We're also, we're buffing, singing in the rain
because that's one of the least known songs
from the, least known numbers from the movie.
I'm not insulting singing in the rain, the song.
I'm not insulting make them laugh
or fit as a fiddle and ready for love or good morning.
Let's go, let's go!
You should probably get some U-Till, huh?
20-minute dance number at the end was dumb.
I literally saw you saying, um, what happened to Jackbox earlier?
I think you might not be a consumer of art.
Get him.
This is my time.
Mocked.
Confidence?
my fucking feet. I stood there and I planted my fucking feet. Somebody cover spawn please.
Mod. Literally wasn't even looking. Wasn't even looking man, wasn't even looking. Two
wasn't even looking man, wasn't even looking, two second delay could be worse
a lot of people playing this game on 60 Hertz
lads that worked really well where we off to
It's literally not having a bad brain.
It's focusing my brain on speech instead of like, clicking on people's heads.
Watch this.
Bro, you don't want to be there!
Literally, that would have been the first grenade headshot in Counter-Strike history
if my teammate didn't fuck it up.
Bye, guys.
We covered the Mercado.
as you can't leave yet
run run
I'm all right, which CS map you prefer to live.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Um...
Probably say anubis.
Anubis seems nice.
What the fuck?
Anubis?
Yeah, like amongst the arches and shit, you know?
What are we doing, guys? What am I doing? I don't know what I'm doing.
Apparently there's a motherfucker but twix the smoke.
News to me.
Dad, Ashton, if you don't want to get body blocked, don't walk in front of me.
I hear him right here.
We snapped.
Oh, are you kidding me?
That was good.
That was good.
We planted our feet.
important thing is that you plant your feet. Donald O'Connor was doing too much
I make him laugh. Low-key controversial take the soundtrack kind of sucks to
listen to because it's all physical gags. In make him laugh there's literally
like a hundred seconds of straight silence when Donald O'Connor in the
movie is doing stuff like. You take these capillary. All right,
we're back. Round seven, it's oping time. Then we op all over them. Why is there always
someone on your team with a fuck-ass view model? People play too few games and watch
too many videos. This is my controversial opinion on the current state of modern gaming.
He got me, guys. He got me because the second hopper body blocked me. Does anybody pick
got my up and give it to me please
purple I'm trusting you here left-handed
shooter come on man
the guns cursed the guns cursed
oh yes
All right guys, clear comms.
I like there ain't gonna be a next.
Where does the beautiful girl's song fall for you on rankings?
I think it's okay, but again,
it's not good to listen to outside of the movie
because there's like a three minute visual gag in it.
If you must wear Fox to the opera,
Dane fashion says diet!
I like...
My imagination is pretty good. I can rotate like a damn apple in my head and stuff like that but...
You're asking a lot of a fellow like me.
Alright, well we're all dead.
Literally destroyed. I'm better than you in every conceivable domain.
That was a hell of a shot. That was a hell of a shot.
That's the power of the op, bro
Yeah, I can rotate I can rotate other fruits in my mind. I see you're setting me up
What are we doing here? You're setting me up for a
Yeah, I've rotated every fruit bit and I'm using restraint to not join you
in this bid
Love it.
Cory on the other team, oping you.
My king would never.
He considers, for some reason, he considers using a bun.
He considers using a gun that you buy in the game with money to be cheating.
We all know the only gun that it's cheating to use is the auto sniper.
The op is literally, I mean, it's the right tool for the wrong job.
No skim P90, let's go.
Scoreboard, hey, too bad considering the circumstances, 4-8, Davido style.
Let's go.
So I'm not saying I don't die like this ever, but the number of killcams with the last man
standing that is just like
Staring at nothing and getting capped is crazy man
You just died like that. Mmm. Literally did not I was shooting a D. Go let a guy who had an op. I'm not saying it's smart
Wasn't exactly the the shrewdest move I've ever done, but at least I'm not just going like that anymore
Holy shit, two kills through the smoke.
This is where we lurk.
Lower tons.
Oh, there's a guy there.
look like the the fire starter music video there was a there was a man in
the in the fumes like no assist oh yeah yeah yeah I love it I love it
aggressive flash oh can I how do I not get an assist say 54 and 2 can I have my
Is this back?
It's crazy seeing all the people from the bits in real time.
Are you suggesting that I made chat?
The subtext of that seems to be that I made chat.
That the people from chat don't exist until I go live.
You're saying I made you.
People from bits is crazy. This is a nation on cosplay, man.
The large is the message. Let's get a move on, Lance. Let's get a move on.
I'm flashing still
I'm scared
get him nope, not today laddie, there's one, play bomb, I hear them in my head saying
play bomb. Oh, what the fuck? Single-handedly won the match. Single-handedly won the match.
Two, two MVPs! Two MVPs out of 12 rounds. 10 people in the round. We're literally batting
above our weight class. It's high explosive grenade. I dual Beretta's never worked man,
don't do it. Oh, thank you. Hello. What a perfect delivery. Thank you. No, no, I'm good.
I don't know where to cover.
Bro, they're in uh, they're in freaking palace, man.
Okay, that's 80 damage.
Okay, they're all out palace.
Suffice it to say.
There's one.
I think I literally won that round for us. I'm not even joking. Let me see this grenade.
Holy shit, what an incredible grenade, bro. What an incredible grenade softened them up.
Are you with me, Dr. Woo?
Sing along if you know the words, Dr. Woo.
Are you really just a shadow of the man that I once knew?
Are you crazy?
Are you high?
Or just an ordinary guy?
Have you done all you can do?
You know what I'm talking about?
Katie lied bro, she probably had her fucking reasons.
You're on drugs.
You see me writing a song about it.
What are you watching?
Grenade out.
We're going for our slide.
So movement B out.
Hogs, reaction difference.
Helping B.
Helping B.
I'm gonna take the long way.
Great round guys, great round.
Right, all right.
Sing along if you know the words.
He came from somewhere back in a long ago.
Imagine if that was the stream today.
Trying hard to recreate what had yet to be created.
Could be awesome.
Could be the move, man.
Could be the move.
He's trying to distract from the movement.
I'm literally top-fragging, which, by the way,
is nothing new these days literally that was down the gullet straight down the
gullet
Fuck it, I'll roam. Is that what they call it? B-52 style?
He's in florist.
He's in flower shop.
drop dog steps behind me brother
not with the Mac 10 pro baby not with the Mac 10 pro way well we need we need
We're taking it to the streets.
We're taking it to the streets.
We do need that. Well, I was going to say we need more of the Doobie brothers, but these days I'm not 100% sure about that, man.
seems like every all of my brothers are on doobie well send a message to my
brother he is sitting at the triple box
oh no he wasn't never mind don't send a message to my brother
I literally thought I saw his uh, I saw his fucking foot, man.
I mean you guys back seating my teammate about where the plant was and where it should have been literally is like alcohol except professional hockey games shit talking to Tim bits that are playing during the second intermission.
like we can barely skate bro and you're you're saying some shit like oh you got
issues supposed to be covering the open man in a two-on-one the last man back is
always supposed to be covering the pass like what are you talking about also
beers are 21 bucks a pop bro like if anything it's just impressive
impressive you were able to get that tanked yeah I don't think so kid
Welcome to palace.
More like tomb for that guy.
What you drinking over there?
Ice to Maricano, no room.
It's literally sure to have him.
I'm going to type it.
That's the first anybody has communicated the entire time.
That's going to bring the team back.
Timbits is the kid from the Christmas Carol.
Tiny Timbits.
I see what you're saying.
Tiny Timbits.
I asked the coffee shop yesterday if they have cold brew they said no but we have iced
americano's three question marks.
Why I don't understand why this story is remarkable to you I guess is what I'm trying
to say.
That seems like they had your best interest in mind.
You asked if they had a certain drink they said no but we got something like it.
Why are you upset?
Okay, that's a crazy round, man.
I'll take the P90.
A real boss says, yeah, I guess.
Ice americano and cold brew, I mean, they're more similar than different.
Let's put it that way.
But coffee people are some of the most annoying people on the planet wrong
Espresso people are some of the most annoying people on the planet
Coffee coffee drinkers are all right. They're always like I'll take a large coffee
Espresso drinkers are always like what the fuck wants to drink extra hot like what's wrong with you, bro
It's boy. It's already boiling. It's already boiling
Fuck do you mean extra hot?
It's the hottest that the matter can get before it turns into a different state!
Literally shot...
Why, it's like bowling. If I move two boards to the left, he's dead.
Now we did alright, 13-2.
Extra-hot-dumbest request possible.
I might not be a perfect person,
You'll never catch me ordering a hot beverage extra hot
That's literally like asking the barista to burn themselves for what to make my drink less drinkable
I literally look at it like the way that you should look at a
malevolent mad king
torturing their people just because they have the power to do so I look at it as an act of
hubris and malevolence I orange let's do this
not smoke the mist bro smoke mist all we got to do is lock in
oh who's next
in this living hell take it it to the streets sorry that's a bomb fucking planted
That must be a joke. Did you see that? No Nipple running. There was some fucking crazy shots in there.
Holy cow. The Yacht Rock gamer. Yes, that's me, the Yacht Rock gamer.
Legit that was a lesson in how proper utile usage is important.
I guess they fucked up the smoke by like three radians and then all of a sudden like it fell
apart man.
Yeah I'mma be there.
I'mma be watching Palace.
That shit was surgical. Dr. Wu would be proud.
Bad smoke, bro. Great smoke.
Oh, they fucking got me with the smoke, guys. They got a good smoke this time. Holy shit.
Oh! I'm up in here! I'm already up in here!
I can't crouch. My crouch button's been disabled.
Fuck the decoy, bro. I'm the real McCoy.
Come on. Come on. Breach this one degree angle of sight that I can see.
Sure. Wipe my whole fucking team. See if I care.
Literally don't give a fuck.
Bombs were implanted, y'all.
Okay.
You say so?
Yep, that's fair.
I had no idea that.
I thought for sure I had died to the first dude that I saw.
You go again.
You used to have a regular that ordered 100 degree, 100 degree chamomile citrus tea with milk added,
burned the fuck out of me before I could even put the lid on, it would curdle. That shit would piss me off.
Isn't it true that now that we, sorry, I'm going to be late to site because I'm getting chapped to go again.
Isn't it true that now that the upside of us living in a much snobbier coffee era is that
at many third-wave coffee shops, baristas are emboldened to actually tell the customer to
fuck off like I'm not going to make that? I think that's a huge plus for like society.
kind of they're calling him to know where because he orders a coffee drink occasionally
I hear steps all around me man apparently I picked up a fucking smoke grenade is that
apartments? It's beast in apartments.
And my purpose kind of popping off, huh?
I just ordered shit that's on the menu. Am I a crook? I'm gonna be honest with you.
I think there's a few special orders at a copy shop that are acceptable.
Like, uh, extra shot, I think it's a totally expressible order, or, uh, acceptable order.
Um...
Probably, if you're an espresso head ordering a longer pole or something like that.
That could be fine.
Half-sweet, sure.
I mean, honestly, I think it would do our nation good.
If we stopped calling 100% sugar at the bubble tea place 100% and started calling it 400%.
yeah let's all cover the same spot just Canada yeah I don't really give a fuck
about like America or whatever right now probably hard to hear because that's
like 62% of y'all or whatever guys they're here I shouldn't keep their
heads ringing. Smoke this guy off.
Good job guys. What the fuck is that? Damn Nerf gun.
found fella's clamshell e-reader from it follows
you like that one?
most mind-boggling one for me is a customer who wants to drink extra cold but no ice
now that's...
that's very interesting
extra quick liquid nitrogen
did you see that fucking bounce
what is what are we doing here guys that the double op mid
it's giving team fortress classic it's giving two fort
fuck
the fuck
watch out y'all you're watching that I'll back the fuck up
sheesh
the stepler
Bomb is in sight. Ah, muthafucka.
Well, time to clutch up.
I should have been more aggressive. Shouldn't be the last man back.
Shouldn't be running. Shouldn't be clomping around, bro. Shouldn't be
clomping around out there.
what are you thinking
i don't think we're i mean i'm for team purposes i don't think we're an opera
right now
we already got two operas that love to play the op
and i was top-fragging with two rounds ago we got a
fucking clutch up man
now they go triple up and you win it back probably true
Actually, now we wait three seconds. One, two, three. Drop that. Reach with it. Palace is clear.
Orange in on the deep flank. On the deep flank. Orange has been killed on the deep flank.
They need our support at the site.
That was huge.
That literally, that kill, tips the scales.
May win us the game.
Got him?
There's two.
There's two.
There's two guys.
You got this.
The revert.
This is you!
Don't go there!
the other way!
Go the other way!
Oh, he did everything right!
Wait, never mind. He's better than me.
He literally killed the dude as he was planting.
Oh! Nice try!
Nice try.
Thoughts on John Chaka in Toronto?
You will enjoy sports more if you stop reading r slash hockey.
It's just like, I'm not saying that John Chaka is a good general manager, obviously he fucked
up Arizona, bigly before he got shit canned, but like the 28-year-old software engineer
who lives in Etobicoke doesn't know shit about how to manage a hockey team either.
It literally doesn't matter.
like literally imagine that the people that are on the team are just like robots that are wearing
uniforms that inspire a sense of civic pride everything else is irrelevant
guys they're they're killing me palace because nobody came to the A site
Wait, that's kind of peak? Help me, CTs please. I've lost my sight to T's.
Do you believe in the Aquilini's? No, obviously Francesco Aquilini is like a huge scumbag
and the Canucks are incredibly dysfunctional. But like Tim the HVAC guy from Abbotsford,
I don't want him running the squad either. Like they're literally out, they,
the funniest thing, take it for somebody who's been a fan of like a really bad hockey team for
quite some time, wait this could be huge. Yes! They literally have opinions on
who the Canucks should draft when these are like 18 year old kids that are presently playing in
Sweden Finland and like Czechia and all they do is like they watch highlights on YouTube and then
read scouting reports from like other scouts and they go here's here's the dude that I think
would be awesome on our team and I'm like you weren't you weren't at Tom Pear versus Malmo bro
Like how would you know? Like why do you have an opinion on a 16 year old Czech hockey player?
You're literally coding the save on foods point of sale system right now. Like it's nice to have a
hobby, don't get me wrong. I'm just not putting that much stock in your professional opinion, I
guess. Also why does that should say unexpected item in bagging areas so
frequently? I honestly didn't think he saw me because he was looking the other
way but he had me cleared. Probably damn near got caught because my beeper kept
Beepin.
While I push so far on defense, it's been working out pretty well for Matthew Boldy.
Who?
The Minnesota Wild Defenseman who looks like the kid who was dancing to a firework by Katy
Perry on YouTube 17 years ago.
You're thinking of Brock Faber? Oh, this round thinking of Brock Faber. Matthew Bouldy is the one, he looks like he's, um, Mike Faist from West Side Story.
He lived like 20 times longer than I thought he would.
I think I got a snipe mid.
That's what this team needs.
You're pissed about the grocery delivery message?
I don't, I didn't see it. I'd like to be pissed though.
Did you tell me what it said?
Oh, that almost killed me, obviously.
Got one. Got one. That's literally why you don't, you really wanted to take the angle to snipe mid with the deagle.
No fucking cohesion, bro. No fucking cohesion. No trust.
No jobs, no hope, no cash.
Hi, Tomo.
Great hold, guys.
If you don't mind, I'm going to play spawn because I'm scared about getting shot in the back.
back. Great rounds. Yeah, sure. I'll be done. You gotta get away. There's a nice Americano
Tomo. You don't want that. Hey, Jody machine. I must love Cal Raleigh because of like a
tails california heads carolina i you thought i wasn't gonna get that very
obtuse seattle baseball plus jody messina reference because she because
she be getting the head carolina i get it
i understand
she be getting what heads carolina bro like shaggy
somebody drop bomb mid
I'm sorry, it's a chocolate muffin.
Hard to chew with chocolate muffin.
Do you guys know in the United States the mythical Tonka being as illegal?
The Tonka bean.
I had a drink with Tonka bean tincture in it last weekend.
I'm going to say something.
I don't want you to get mad.
The best part about Tonka bean is knowing that Americans can't consume it.
Otherwise it just kind of tastes like regular chocolate.
Motherfucker.
Get out of me, babe.
I really thought that was going to work.
My heart of hearts.
I got a muffin crumb in my vocal cords.
Oh, okay.
We're back.
We're back.
Oh, I really thought that was going to work.
Oops.
You look like you're from Getty Prime.
Doesn't matter where you've been or what you've done.
Two tapped him.
How did that do six damage, man? That should have fucking ended my life supremely.
Holy cow.
It did zero. I thought it was on 46 it is on 67
It's a big round for a beast like me smoking jungle
Covered your ex Phil
What the fuck I guess we better get over there. Well good game everybody
haha
counter-terrorist win
hmm that's me the valuable player
hey plus 59 points bro
My friend's got a lot of crumb, man.
Why do you have voice chat off?
Literally, like, it's becoming illuminated to me mostly through seeing the conversations in the Discord.
About 80% of the human population is only concerned about the settings menu.
find a very disappointing waste of your one trip on planet Earth.
It's, oh, just the frame rate, change your view model, change your resolution, buddy.
You don't live your life under the cog, okay?
Get out there, experience the sun.
Take a walk, have a conversation with your fellow man.
Saint Peter, don't give a fuck about your motherboard is what I'm trying to say.
You're speed running the optimal way to have a 50% win rate, okay?
You're a hamster on a wheel.
Whatever.
You're conflating ambition with thought or I didn't really figure out how the sentence
was going to end to be honest with you.
Only settings I'm worried about are the settings on my chair to alleviate the bursitis
are my right elbow. You played at 60 Hertz for months and it literally you know
what the end game was? We played at 60 Hertz for months. I changed it to 144 Hertz
for one game. I was like this is the best-looking game that's ever existed and
now in my brain it looks the same as it did at 60. The end result of changing
it to 144 is that I can't go back to 60. It's the hedonic treadmill made
manifest. Then go back. No, that's the one thing you can't change. I can't go back to
the 60 now. Try going back. No, I can't go. It's like I said in the discord this weekend.
This is why you have to be careful about lifestyle inflation, bro. I can't go back
to not ordering appetizers. That's why you should never order appetizers. Because
then, if you order appetizers three times in a row, now you're an appetizer guy.
Every time you go out for dinner, you're going to be like, fuck, I really shouldn't
get an appetizer but I love appetizers. What do you mean? My model for human
happiness is that essentially your happiness is broadly like on a long scale
your happiness is essentially coated into you like a thermostat maybe not
necessarily like when you're born but certainly by the time you're like 25
you're basically your your default happiness level is about the same as
it's ever going to be. There are things that adjusted like plus or minus, but mostly the
human brain is like insanely good at bringing you back down to that level. Like, and sometimes
that set point is higher for some people and sometimes the set point is lower. Are you happy?
as happy as I'll ever be, brother.
I think that's the important thing.
Let's roll.
Let's roll.
There's a crazy line after that.
This guy hasn't tried Mali.
Well, I haven't tried Mali, but I assume, like, you know,
36 hours after you take Mali, you kind of pay the piper,
right?
a bit yeah yeah yeah you all dopamine is exhausted from your brain yeah yeah
exactly holy shit you're right I'm the highest rank in the room bro a new bitch
what have we done
Holy fuck, my bad.
You said you wanted to live there?
Is this your first day on the internet, bro?
Most places that people say they want to live, they've never been to.
Your ass hasn't been to fucking thinly.
Shut the fuck up.
on the other team, man. No, that's fair. I'm literally just gonna follow someone on our
team. Wait, no, CT is awesome because I can probably just stand in the side, right? You
spam the same wasting your one time on Earth. Well, once a week, bro, people stop. People
never stop wasting their one time on earth though.
Every time I start to stream on Monday they're asking me if I saw a new guy that got invented
by AI over the weekend.
Oh shit, 5B?
Is this the meta?
That's also a good point, that librarian, you know too much about Dota to be acting
this ignorantly.
Is that not why it's called an alt?
It's because it's effective?
Imagine if we didn't use our alt.
would be like why didn't you use your ult? There's a spot there you can shoot from.
107 is like the amount of goals the avalanche are going to score in their series probably
so many ways. Real shit. I'm going Boulevard. Guys, where should I expect them to make contact?
through there I guess okay obviously I'm on site okay okay apparently I'm on
fucking site I have no idea where I'm going because I like to make fun of her
I don't know where I'm going I don't know where I'm fucking am bro
I'm so pissed you're playing CS instead of deadlock.
Mm-hmm deadlock kind of the vibe when you want to have six viewers who are all yelling
at you.
Now, what do we fucking, I guess we take no armor mag seven.
True, true, true, true, true, play street brawl you that there's one of the six we
We found one of the six.
It's so funny to be here, right?
A librarian yells at me when I play CS.
It's so funny to me that you're like pretending to be in touch with humanity by watching
all these Coryotta movies and talking about how it's like impacting your ability to
feel empathy and stuff like that.
And then you come in here and you're like, you should put a crouch on, tap instead
toggle or something. Bye guys.
Bye.
Flay there on us? Just watching a lot of like sentimental movies.
All in a row. Just fine, they'll get me wrong, but at some point you start to wonder if it's like a signal, you know?
might be motivated from a place of authenticity. I don't know.
Alright guys, where are we going?
I literally have no idea where to go, like I guess maybe I could come this way, wait for
them to push here and then kill them nice bait yellow good bait good trade I mean
I should have had him, don't get me wrong, but...
You think Ralph Zifaretto had that shit done to Pie, oh my?
I think if we were meant to have an opinion, Chase would have shown us on the screen.
I think we're meant to be in the same position as Tony, which is like, the only thing that
matters is that does Tony have a good reason to be suspicious? The answer is
obviously yes. Obviously Tony has a good reason to be suspicious. I mean Ralph
Cifaretto is like, he's a stumbag obviously.
He's literally the devil. I mean other people have to use that TV remote man.
Like, you can't be doing all that.
Like, the killing and stuff like that, that's bad enough, man.
You can't be shoving that remote up your ass with, like, no covering or, like, envelope or anything.
That's just disgusting, man.
kind of a crazy incendiary I would obviously never stand there as the
bombs been planted at the other site I think
I go crazy if like I knew where to look when I entered the site at all, I didn't get any
degree.
I didn't mean a paper envelope, the envelope can have multiple meanings, okay?
An envelope can also be just a covering or something preventing an object from interacting
with his medium, bro. I'm going redo. I'm going redo, bro, it's my spot. I literally
called Rito what the fuck through the through the cobble stone what a kill
Oh, ouch.
You saw him when I saw you. Are you with me, Dr. Woo?
Ray referenced the Katie Lied. Honestly, I don't want to be controversial. Probably my number one track on Katie Lied.
Literally, I don't know if you're talking to me. You voted for Anubis.
I don't know if this was like some kind of master plan.
Like this is when people don't know how to play chess, so they just like learn a gambit and run that instead.
But like I know I don't know how to fucking play the map bro
I don't know how to play the map so you voted for it
So if this was your grand plan is like it's fucking anubis accepted and now we're down material
So what's the fucking play bro?
Who's katie? I think katie's heroin man within the context of katie lied anyway or within the context of dr. Wu
I'm pretty sure, I'm pretty sure that Katie's heroin.
We got this.
Everyone's gone to the movies?
Not about heroin, unfortunately.
I wish it were.
Any new novelty chatters?
I haven't seen Booger Guy, who now asks me if I sit down to pee, and whenever a novelty
chatter is really active and then immediately disappears, I do start to get worried.
So I hope they're chilling out there.
There is a blue chat name that sounds like a spell you cast in a video game that keeps
asking, why aren't you co-streaming events?
I'm still trying to figure out like internally if this is an individual that's going to become
the chatter who always asks why you don't co-stream events or if it's just like
they have twitch brain or something like that from I don't know a long weekend spent indoors but
we'll see I fell off you're okay Jason it's crazy to say that you're an accountant the first
week of May though. It's kind of like stolen valor or maybe it's the best time
to become an accountant. Yep yep you spotted me that's for sure guys the bombs
the A site for once. Hard to believe.
You're all right, Green.
Love this hold.
There's only one gamer left, man.
We can go 2-5 here.
Ah, motherfucker.
Oh, you don't have to chase.
You don't have to save screenshots to desktop.
Literally, literally, you don't have to chase.
You don't have to chase.
Get your teammates off.
I don't know where to look anyway.
Oh, shit.
I'm top-fragging.
Yeti, you're putting on airs yet, Yeti.
Yeti?
Yeti?
Why do I know a Yeti and an Yeti, man?
I guess that one motherfucker knew like three of them, so I shouldn't be complaining.
Stop chatting.
focus right now. I need to dial in. Streamer brain is cooked. No, it's 100% true, to be
honest. I'm waiting for the chocolate to hit the bloodstream. It is bad for your brain.
I'm not going to donate my brain to science because it's my brain, but another streamer
should donate their brain to science. Because my theory is that probably it
doesn't matter if you're a small streamer it doesn't matter because it's
chat that's actually the worst part of it. Yet another reason why it's harder
to be a big streamer than a small streamer but I literally think that
obviously playing NFL football and getting hit a lot is worse for your
brain than streaming. But I think every hour streamed to every 5,000 viewers is the equivalent
of getting sacked one time in the NFL. So I mean I'm double in and out. I'm taking
10 sacks a day right now. Only five days a week. But I mean 10 sacks a day can't be
good for you. By who though? Motherfucker, why'd you ask me to pull? There's one sack
right there. I mean not every sack is created equal. Sometimes they just grab
your toe and you fall over but like ten sacks a day is crazy. It's literally
like I'm Shidora right now.
Streaming the hardest job? If you're streaming to a lot of people, yeah.
If you're streaming to a lot of people, because you have like a heavy moral
responsibility and then also
I mean there's the physical toll that it takes.
I'm with you, brother. I don't know where you're getting shot from. I don't think you should be too upset about that.
Holy shit, he's gonna do it with two HP.
Guy who buys op despite not knowing where to look.
Wait, Surgeon that livestream is operations.
Yeah, move please.
Surgeon that livestreams, wait let me correct it.
Surgeon that livestreams, their operations could be peak.
I got my gun.
Did I say we literally easily get a double there if my teammate doesn't body block me
at the start of the round for absolutely no reason?
Pushing with Omp is insane, that's not pushing, that's where you hold on A site, bro.
Source, I'm on my 10th round of Anubis.
Lifetime.
The surgeon was he him?
Yeah, but that one friend who's too woke.
the surgeon was only he him because uh... surgery as a profession has a higher
incidence of uh...
psycho pathie
which is a male associated trade
you ever and his name is doctor will
psycho pathie
I'm making it I'm making it
Hmm
Same guy who complains about anti-intellectualism
Tell me why everybody's four favorite movies are like Japanese Kino and then the last four movies
They've all watched have Dave Bautista in them
Like why the fuck are you caping for stuber bro? Your favorite movie is ran
Okay, okay motherfucker the motherfucker with the curved eyeballs
Chill on Batista. He's done a lot of bullshit. I
Was taking some heat. Well, actually, I think they left a nice comment, but I take that as he did in its own way
I was taking some heat from someone in the comments. We'll go to their top four
Guardians of the Galaxy 2 is in there.
Nah man, I can't be interfacing with that.
I can't be, oh shit.
I can't be just replying to that.
It's gonna get us both in trouble obviously.
It's all season bro.
First Util Bi.
It's going to be way worse to play T-Side
Because I don't know where I'm going, man.
Favorite movie is Repo the Genetic Opera. How old am I?
41 and a huge Buffy the Vampire Slayer poster in your room?
That's my bet.
That's not an insult, by the way.
Unless you happen to be Joss Whedon.
There's ghosts, there's an invisible person on the enemy team.
Missed by three years and not a fan of Buffy.
More of an angel head.
By the way, can I say missed by three years when I accused you of being 41 means I was
right you can't be off by three years on someone that's 38 to 44 years old that
means I got a bang on
I
Huge huge huge
Oh right in their fucking face, bro
Holy shit, he even got stabbed that he just stuck it. That's my king right there
And I say, nice try to the enemy.
Okay, I'm gonna hold bomb, because it's gonna teach me where to go.
Kind of got to get drunk at karaoke and sing the rec of the Edmund Fitzgerald.
Actually I try to pick exclusively like pop songs with broad appeal that don't have long
instrumentals.
And also, yeah, I was drunk.
drunk in a few diet cokes maybe. Not alcohol. Have you seen, uh, bloody nose empty pockets?
It's bad for you, is what I'm trying to say. What the fuck? How many different angles are there?
What a shot, man.
By the way, I only have nine comments on my Bloody Knows Empty Pockets review.
And one of them is, if you like this, you should watch this movie.
But um, that means that nobody appreciates my joke about how the movie is about above
all things.
Above all else I should say.
Making sure that you exit the bar by 2pm at all costs.
That movie is a party from about 10am until just after lunch and then the vibes really
shift. Don't spoil it. They get drunk. Pating, pating. Good tracking. Hope that was a tight
bow. No man, at 2 AM the vibes are fucked up. Everyone's trying to fight each other.
Why would you leave at 2 PM? Because that's before everybody's shit-house drunk, bro.
I say a lot of words wrong, but that one was right.
That's every bar at closing time?
Yes, that's why I left the story.
That's why I left the review that says you have to leave the bar by 2PM.
100 kills on this beast, here we go.
Motherfucker.
What do you think y'all? You take him?
I saw his head Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, I'm MVP, I'm MVP.
Because you voted in Nubis, so I really need you to carry.
You missed the camaraderie if you leave before midnight.
Literally the best vibes that you can have at a bar is one drink with brunch when you're
hungover with a bunch of other people who are hungover.
The best vibes are not at midnight.
The best vibes are when you're halfway through the beer that is saving your hangover.
I saw him.
Dropped.
Are you gotta leave before two? Yes. Yes, yes you do. Motherfucker man. Motherfucker bro.
He's coming this way.
Oh, shit.
Almost had him.
Best vibes are when the server is bringing your second drink over to the table.
Could be.
You know what the best vibes are?
you spy the server about to come over to you so you drink a bunch of your drink
really fast so that they ask if you want another one and you can then go
nonchalantly yeah yeah you know what I will have another one even hey where was
that guy that killed you he was right there
That's me with water. That's aspirational, man. That's aspirational.
Alright, what are we doing here, lads? I mean, you're the fucking Anubis experts. You voted
for it. Now the tigers are eating your fucking face, so what's the big idea?
wait this looks upon that wait this is where I got fucking killed from bro
Got him. Made him rethink his choices.
He's planting the bob.
You hear that? We fucking won.
Our business should take the AK over the Galeel, huh?
Nah, I got three extra kills on this beast, man.
Holy cow.
3D printer, baby.
I can't stop laughing if this looks upon that.
Why don't, this is the type of shit you'd be saying
when you play in Nubis for the first time,
What the fuck man? It's the Gen X bar.
Aw man, goofy ass.
Screamo!
Nah, I don't think so kid watch this.
Push with it.
Literally use it to push.
I think he was holding the op like this, like brother Bonnie and Clyde type shit.
He was doing say hello to my little friend type shit, Muji looking clean, I'm on ironically
I have actually improved my quality of life so much by buying seven copies of the same
shirt in different colors and then just literally I wear them seven days in a row and then
And I wash all seven shirts and then I just wear them again.
I put them on the drying rack and in my head I hear suburban dogs by real estate.
I kind of feel like I'm living like a Patterson slash old joy style life right now.
Got him.
You're not getting away from that, obviously.
I have 30 Uniclo shirts for that exact same reason.
Why you got 30 shirts bro?
You only got one torso.
Fuck off Jim Jarmusch.
Librarian, if that shit had Japanese in it, you would be like, oh this movie speed,
what a perfect slice of life, but because it's American, you think that you're separated
from your fellow man. Jim Jarmusch is Coriata. Jim Jarmusch fucking is Terry Gilliam. Jim
Jarmusch is Jocked-in-Me. His new one's so bad. Is that the Dead Don't Die or am I like
nine years behind the meta? I haven't seen that one. In fact, I think I've seen one
Jim Jarmusch movie in my life and it's a post-doc way of the Samurai
what a shot it's father mother sister brother was like a Dr. Seuss adaptation
follow this guy and take his op this and you guys seen enemy at the gates I'm
literally not the only other person that's seen ghost dog Justin has also
seen ghost dog and also anybody who watched to Nami from like 1999 to 2001
has seen it 50 times because they were recommended by some like 70 year old
dude on a forum to watch it guaranteed yeah bro someone's got a cover
a redone. That's alright. It's probably my bad for being so tall. Bro, we saw him. We
saw him here. Told you. Not him. He flashed me. Take the long way home.
So, most of you ever lost on a coin toss, buddy?
Give me the galeel.
I prefer it. I prefer the Galeel.
Heart rate check?
Oh, I got a log in. I don't know.
Anyone buy op?
Heart server's offline today. It just defaults to Max Heart rate.
That's bad. That's really bad. Good shooting purple. Besides, shot me purple.
Let's try it. I'll never vote Anubis again.
The work horse!
It's not too bad.
You know how to play Anubis now?
No bro, I mean I'm pissed off because I voted against Anubis.
Like I voted to ban it.
And they said nah, I guarantee in the comms they were saying some shit like nobody knows
how to play Anubis.
We'll just vote for it man.
You're so fucking real for this.
Hey man, can you sign in with your password, then maybe we can send you a one-time
passcode to your phone?
Oh by the way, you want to make a passkey?
Hey, which one of these are traffic lights, and which one of these are couches?
Cyber security is my passion.
You want to access your bank account?
Please answer me these questions three.
that literally they're advertising condoms on the home page like no man average
podcaster no man well look at look at my society man CS go the games be around by
the devil the devil's ever the antichrist is everywhere they're trying to
sell condoms in the video game. Oh, man. That's crazy, man. You know, what is the
airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? Motherfuckers used to say that all the
time and you almost never see a motherfucker say that anymore.
People whose favorite movie is repo the genetic opera and may or may not have a big Buffy the
Vampire Slayer poster in their room love to say shit like she turned me into a newt and
they don't say it anymore and that's fucked up.
Grail is Quirk Chungus now? Bro, it was Quirk Chungus then. But I would honestly, Quirk Chungus
ain't that bad in today's society. Quirk Chungus could be worse. Holy Grail is pretty good.
I like life of Brian Moore, but Holy Grail is pretty good.
When you originate the cork, you own the chungus.
Damn.
Damn.
That might be true.
Also, people don't believe me.
And I understood, why would you,
when you look at the state of modern culture?
But like, Quirk Chungus was not the norm in 2005.
In the average high school class,
if you had 30 kids, there was like four to five
Quirk Chunguses, favorite movie, Princess Bride,
singing songs from the movie adaptation of Rent
and stuff, but four to five Quirk Chunguses, that's it.
And then there were 25 just people that were just,
I don't want to call them NPCs.
It became the norm later.
Yeah, it became the norm later.
Which are you?
Kind of stuck in this permanent like aspirational Gen X,
post-ironic, Darya type, phenotype, I suppose?
Waffling back and forth between
rage bait and genuine opinions
and then wondering why nobody believes me, I suppose.
Something like that.
Let's play Nuke. Let's play Nuke. Let's play Mirage. Let's play Inferno.
Where we dropping lads? CT. CT sided Inferno. Okay.
NLI cried during the Royal Tenen Bombs. You ain't special.
people cry during the Royal Tenenbombs. The real question is when you cry, bro. Do you
cry when Chas Tenenbombs says that? It's been a hard year. Or do you cry when motherfuckers
are ranging the blocks and he sucks ass? Do you cry when Aubrey, whatever his name
says, uh, hey, can you copy these blocks? Hello, sir. I put my nuts on your forehead, like
Gene Kelly in the Broadway review. And then you look at it and you're like, this motherfucker
is horrible. This motherfucker is horrible at rearranging these blocks, man. That's
not even close. Wasn't even in the ballpark, man.
I'm literally throwing a grenade down banana.
Maybe shit you're making Tomodachi life.
What? Perfect grenade. And apparently I literally got sight of someone down there.
Okay, you're gonna say that I'm insane?
One of these dudes had a scope.
I don't know how, but one of these dudes literally had a scope on their gun.
We run these streets.
I'm going library
check pit
check pit
all right i think i did seventy and six
what a shot
that was a fucking great round man
can you go back into the clip i swear he had a scope to rifle on round one
apollo is this possible
what does that mean he had yet i don't think he had an m4 or an ak but i do
you think that he had uh... galeel
i think they might have pulled their money about one galeel
are you going to apata
okay i play patio then
mother fucker
drops kid. Okay. I see a fellow there.
What the fuck?
I guess I did. I guess I did.
Got him. Got him. Got him twice in the shoulder.
That M7 shot or mag 7 shot was pretty good, right?
Yeah, okay.
Why does that dude from rear window hate his girlfriend?
I haven't seen the movie, but I'll say it.
Donk was kinda nosey, man.
I triangulated the distance between them, I made a huge mistake.
Good fucking move! It's a pillar! It's a pillar, it can't move.
got body blocked by the fucking pillar body blocked with nobody
stay sharp starting to think that the fucking electrical box is looking at me funny
WOAH! Motherfucker!
Yeah, you too.
Fuck is this, man? It's rattling around.
Oh, I'm fucking cracked now.
It's over for you, shitstain.
Get him! Get him!
My friend? Okay, the least ADHD random.
Bro, literally it was like I'm in an alt tab.
that was a fucking round right there yes dude we we are and what's the button to
say we are doing this
They dropped off for you. I don't need it. I'm covering banana.
He will literally peek. All I had to do was not move my crosshair. He was gonna peek.
Oh, good trade, good trade, he got two for zero, that's a good trade.
He was way closer than I expected.
yet we did nothing wrong because it all worked out man thanks for the drop
all right
That was literally just aura.
Anyone hear like groceries?
I'm the type of beast to start saying some shit like goucho or asia
Damn apatow. Let's peek him together
Okay, fella literally cheating your head was behind your teammates head, but whatever
I got this way.
Literally mod.
Do you know the Steely Dan called Visions of Johanna Stupid?
Okay, well, um, Donald did say that Bob Dylan was one of the only artists in the 70s worth of dams.
So there is that, but also why do I give a fuck if good artists have great tastes?
They already make great art, man.
I don't need them to also have the same great taste in art as me.
That doesn't make any dams. That's an unrealistic expectation to have.
Scared him?
He literally has more bullets than me.
You become a great artist first by having great taste.
What's it like to believe that?
That's crazy.
Do you know Brian Wilson's favorite movie was Norbit?
That's an insane, that's an insane belief to have.
Good movie.
That's a couple of jokes.
It's got a couple of good jokes in it.
I believe the montage of clips probably goes crazy.
He tried to hit me with the Apollo block.
He tried to crawl like a viper through these suburban streets
bro. Wait, yellow, wait. Anybody in the pit getting real sweaty right now? Check this
out. I got scared and then I took a deep breath, got my cortisol under control. I literally
got my quarters all under control instead of freaking out do it do it
No, no, no, it's the 6-7 prophecy.
You have opinions on Lux Maxing?
I don't think you need to go to all the effort to like smash bones in your face.
If you want to improve the quality of your physical appearance, like everybody knows the
secret is getting literally six hours and 45 minutes of sleep at night. Enough to be like
biologically adequately rested but still have a little bit of like tiredness or around you.
Really good try. Honestly, really good try.
We don't besmarch our teammate for that.
Minecraft time out of mine parity just dropped.
I need to see that.
I need to see that.
I was holding a mystical spear
It's direct from the nether
Sheep are rollin' in the snow
Bro, you're like Dr. Wu in Biscayne Bay
I SAW YOU
There's just one fellow obviously we take those um I forgot I was saying at all
Is this the Steely Dan Brainrod guy? Even better news honestly. Even better news.
What clean and countrymen. Come on with the body blood. We're all playing right side mid.
We're smoking our own right-side men. What are we doing? What are we doing?
I'm fucking scared, bro
You didn't have to go with them. Yeah, but it's my spot
My spot
I don't know man. I don't know where the fuck would you look?
I shouldn't have planted it, I should have made use of it.
Wait Steve, you better be ready for grub.
That might be it man.
T-side trying to report me for hacking when I shove the bomb up my ass and then run away.
You body blocking me one more time motherfucker there's gonna be problems
Got him he's faded at spawn
Yellow's not going to be pleased when they get shot in the back, man, but I got to play
pit.
Oh, motherfucker.
Bomb down banana?
Why does it sound like North to Alaska?
down bomb bomb down banana go banana they got the bomb it is kind of one of the
goaded spots to read chat
Way down bomb.
Okay, if it's down banana, you can catch me on the peel.
Flinched.
You flinched.
What the fuck?
Are you serious?
That don't seem right.
Check pit bro.
Oops.
Got a dance.
Got a...
You don't want to be playing against me when I'm crawling like a dog.
You don't want to be playing against me when I'm crawling like a viper through these suburban
streets, man.
Why is he good now?
Opponent difference, to be honest.
real
don't body block me purple I'm top-fragging
pack one pick one I'm taking right side mid
one kill easy
got him
challenge me again
like greens insane man
Fuck it, I want my fucking kills.
Shit.
I've diffused it.
You ever heard The Modern Lovers?
Yeah, bro, yeah, I've heard all The Modern Lovers tracks.
I know about Pablo Picasso.
Does Jonathan Richmond know that, like, lots of people were calling him an asshole?
I think he just doesn't know, man.
He might he's got to plead the fifth on that one
It's Jonathan Richmond's second best work after that everybody
Wait, that's I was gonna I got everybody loves Raymond confused with there's something about Mary never mind
Too deeply influential comedic works about Glenn Gould
They're literally chilling in spawn, there's one.
What the fuck was that?
That shit came from a drone strike, man.
Where did that shit come from?
crazy rounds. amazon delivery drone.
was raiment a good show? i need a reality check cause that shit hit hard as a kid for
some reason. i think everybody loves raiment as all right.
I think we're past the era of like being mad that sitcoms were once popular and now
we can not glaze them too much but like respect them for being, I don't know, at the height
of their form.
Let's put it that way.
Don't say it was average.
Average sitcoms are some of the worst television programs ever made.
Go watch an episode of Yes, Dear, and then tell me that everybody loves Raymond
as average, bro.
Nice try.
Barely even hit me.
What was that?
Oh shit.
My parents made me watch Last Man Standing.
If you were at an age where your parents could force you to watch a show that started in
2019, you are too young to be chatting, but you are subbed, which I appreciate.
It started in 2011?
No shop, bro.
This man standing is 2016 energy.
Fuck it, I know my place.
Scoutler?
What the fuck?
How are there four people left, man?
Oh!
Yes!
Get him.
Yeah, don't even pick up the rifle, man.
You don't need it.
You already got one.
You don't need it.
Oh!
Yeah, don't even pick up the rifle man. You don't need it. You already got one you don't need it
That's awesome that badge point up
Damn
Orange you better clutch up here. Well, you owe buy for me buddy. It's round three
Get your get your money up
I was awarded $300 because somebody killed himself.
Misaligned incentives ass.
This is everything wrong with our society.
Clutch.
Fuck that bro.
No shot.
I got the bomb.
There you take it.
Who wins?
Is great seeing the timbre in chat change and people are going wait maybe 5k is awesome.
Yes, a lot of fun. The problem is now I'm thinking that was fun because it was 5k. No, it's not fun because it's 5k. It's fun because we won.
Now we come back down to the other side. You can still get 13 and 1 at 5k. Absolutely.
The wind's not coming and they don't stop coming.
I will say, I'm having a dangerous independent thought.
And my dangerous independent thought is what if Walkin' on the Sun by Smash Mouth is actually in a vacuum a good song?
Like, if it was by cake instead of Smash Mouth, would we say actually the song, would we have
the song on playlists, I guess is what I'm trying to say.
It might be my favorite bowling alley song.
He says bonfire fucked up.
We just talked out with guitars around the bonfire.
He does sing British, which is crazy
because most British people sing like American.
Toked out with guitars around the bonfire,
just singing and clapping, man.
What the hell happened?
And some were spelled out.
Some were held down.
Some they fell down.
And some got back up and fought against them out down.
See, I think it might be fucking good, man.
And their kids were hippie chicks or hypocrites
because fashion is passion or truth,
meaning of it, meh meh meh meh.
It is kind of like Bad B-52s, but it still could be good
because the B-52s are good.
I
Roger
We had Edwin McCain. I don't think I like Edwin McCain man
Try to think doesn't does anything he ain't it good to be
Alive I do kind of like the one. What is it like that?
Peace, love, hang, tan, California, dreamin' of the perfect way, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay,
ay.
That one might be okay, and the music video is like a, uh, a cursed tattoo that keeps
haunting people.
This is garbage you singin'.
It's Edward McCain, bro.
Why?
I'm holding banana.
He does sing, I'll be your crying shoulder.
Does he say I'll be mass suicide or am I totally, I'll be a mass suicide.
He says something like that, man.
Double check that before you write that on Genius.
I think it is exu- what? No man, you can't be being all that.
Loves suicide.
Oh, that's pretty bad too, but like, I'd win.
100 damage to 5.
Rotate through spawn? Yeah, I don't think I will.
Can we give some credit to the the t-side on that one?
Bro, left his heels on the ground, took a deep breath, braced his core, and he saw his shot
and he took it.
in the red barchetta snipe, man.
Not.
Sing along if you know the words.
I'm so glad I found you.
I don't wanna lose you.
Whatever it takes, I'll spend it with you.
Lookin' right beside us.
See the paradisa.
Don't know the words,
But I'm hopin' you do, and then it's your part.
Move it, son.
People say we're crazy.
What do they know?
Watch your hand in my hand, baby.
Don't ever let go.
5K incoming.
It is public's music, but it's one of my favorite public's songs.
Never been in a public's, by the way.
Got two?
Got...
Is he made to shoot one?
I thought their sandwiches were pretty good
Let's piss me off. What that was a tactical ping. Holy shit
Kids watching YouTube on the couch
See a video thumbnail best sandwich event cool both
Open the video blue fucking street signs that ain't Vancouver mother fucker
You're in North Van Burnaby Surrey or Coquitlam
Stop clickbaiting by putting the name of the city in the thumbnail and then when I open the video there's blue fucking
Street signs and no traffic
He's showing me off man
Watch this shit. Oh country flinching. I take mid by the way
Average 48 year old reaction time.
Yeah, that's not gonna happen to me. Sorry that happened to you, it ain't gonna happen to me.
Wait, he shot me?
Such a shooter's high, I didn't even know I got hit man.
I got nothing against the greater Vancouver area. If anything, I find it insulting that
they put Vancouver in the title when there's nothing wrong with Burnaby, Coquitlam, or
Surrey. Lord Coquitlam? I'm not totally sure. More research is required before I make
Make a blanket statement like that about Poco.
You miss, bro.
But stop calling it Vancouver when this sandwich spot is in Surrey, okay?
Surrey can stand on its own.
It has a bigger population.
They might be coming on the shirt
Who the hell is that who's this guy? That's his deal
They need me
Got him. Honestly, his mistake. I wouldn't have known he was there if he didn't shoot.
Good flash, good flash. Clean. Tight. Keep sending progress pics.
God is my witness. I thought they went back be saw you mother
That's what I call a sack lunch wedding crashers, bro six seven
give it back give it back I'm just playing with you the fuck is this
sirex thanks for the assist bro got him no well that was a hell of a shot
Did you take a viadance? No. Were people being serious when they said China puts viadance
in the water? I need a source on that. But like what's to stop a government from putting
violence in the water, and then their citizens are forced to lock in and like
gradually outcompete other countries over time in the global economy. It can make
your dick stop working? Well, fucking put an equivalent amount of Seattleist or
something in there. And while you're maybe maybe some propitia or something,
I don't know. It's like to me, you know how like there's there's
Soilent the beverage that's like I don't have 400 calories, and if you drink five of them a day
It's like exactly a hundred percent of your
Recommended daily allowance of everything
Why don't they just do that but like with trace amounts of medicine?
Why don't they just sell it like a diet coke, but the diet coke has
Vive ants and a little like an anti-depressant
There's an anti-anxiety man, but just just a small enough don't not enough of a dose that it would count as taking like a whole pill
But like enough of a dose that it would do as much as a whole pill does
All right, basically fuck the guy a beer suppose
No, don't worry I got your fellow
maybe maybe a horrible angle I don't know oh shit I can't believe it worked
walk this way bro he's cat motherfucker after everything we've been through
You're giving a kiss.
He does say that.
Bumper Bumper Bumper Bumper Bumper Bumper Bumper Bumper Bumper Bumper Bumper Bumper
You didn't have to do all that, man.
this is like watching a car crash in slow-mo yeah maybe the best car crash ever
honestly watching a car crash in slow-mo is probably good because it gives you time
to yell like fucking shit the brakes or something or turn
turn.
No, it's not a move, adjust your position, adjust your trajectory.
Literally perfect movement.
Enemy Oranges using on, they're using hacking and shooting, hacking games.
smurfing bro.
Car crashes give my brain the same feeling as an ice cold Coke Zero.
To be honest with you, I do think that the reason car crash videos are popular is because
it's like a driver's version of watching Jeopardy.
You put on a video that's called like worst Vancouver car crash compilation April 2026
And then you see someone do something and you go, you can't do that, you're gonna cause
an accident.
And then like the car crashes because that's what the video is.
And then you go, see?
I told you.
I told you you can't be doing all that.
Now that's embarrassing man.
Things you hope happens to the guy who cut you off.
Only if they just get in front of me, I don't really care.
By the way, does this happen everywhere that like, so you hear an ambulance, you look
in your rear view mirror and then there's an ambulance behind you so you pull over
and then everybody else pulls over but then as soon as the ambulance goes by all of the people
that pulled over behind you speed up to try to pass you like as f1 it's so crazy man like they use
it literally as like a like the safety car is gone now it's time to like gain position like
What's wrong with my society, dog?
I'm helping.
He's there?
Got him?
I live in the opposite of small town where people try to wave you through the four-way stop that I mean obviously that paces you off to
That obviously is it's not worse than someone trying to kill you in a car accident, but
Also annoying
It's not worse because like it's just that's just annoying someone
Literally trying to pass you a millisecond after the ambulance is by is like
like, you know, there's a chance that you actually get in an accident. That's just like
someone not knowing the rules of the road, which again, annoying but not as deleterious.
It's scary how many people get to a four-way stop and then don't know the order at which
they got to the four-way stop. That is truly frightening because it's information that
Like literally they could have possessed as of one second ago.
What the fuck?
I don't think so kid.
I think you'll find me falling back on that one.
I'm camping organics.
Okay, mouth.
Got a plant, got a plant, a side rhythm, everybody plant!
I had to do something so fucked up that my teammate hit him for 84 so my head shot only
did 16.
I'm fleshing 980 HD pills down the toilet bro it might be the fucking move.
That song's placement in singing in the rain baffles me to this day.
I hate plot andes.
The plot for singing in the rain is literally like a line and a half and people are like
it took away from the story.
Bro, fucking what story?
The riveting tale of Lena Lamont's squeaky voice, motherfucker.
You don't deserve Gene Kelly's nut sack.
Come out.
Hey bro, I found out why I killed you. You had a galeel. Hope that helps.
Motherfucker.
Okay.
To spawn. Make him plant, bro.
Oh, okay.
Fair enough
They did the utile one step
He was watching he was watching the angle he was watching that one fair enough fair enough
It's dead to the rule and I hit the ground running.
I gotta say, I don't think All Star is a great song.
I think it's, I mean, in Summer 2000 I thought it was a great song for sure, but I do think
walking on the sun has a little something.
It's not that I think it's bad, it's just that I don't get the sequence. There's nothing
to get. What you need to get is that it's beautiful.
It's an extremely talented, charismatic and well choreographed dance number in the
middle of a musical especially he's all hopped up because he just got one whoa
he had someone he had someone watching his back that's illegal
I
Usually people go in during the rain
Can I oh you fucking saw his head bro?
Can I also tell you that for my whole life?
I thought singing in the rain was a movie about a guy who was like depressed and then besides to be happy
It is not about that at all
if you thought that's what it was about because of
of the song singing in the rain.
There's a little bit of a genuine plot going on in that movie.
It's not that.
Why?
Because I didn't know shit about it.
I thought maybe Gene Kelly was like, I'm depressed,
but now I'm in love, so I'm not depressed.
That's not what it's about at all.
What is it about?
The birth of audio in the medium of film.
So, it's a tech demo?
No, you're thinking of the jazz singer with Al Jolson.
This makes reference to the jazz singer.
I see one down there.
Do my brain clock that I'm standing on business
Let me add them purple
I've got to do something the rest of my team let me down
Does he like buttertarts? Now that's a fucking summer anthem, man. That one I still rock
every summer. I've been listening to steal my sunshine. Dude, he has a crazy voice, man.
I was lying on the grass, a Sunday morning of last week, indulging in my self-defeat.
His voice is nuts.
Did you see me play my feet on that shit?
Did you see me put my nuts on his forehead?
My sticky buns were in the making of, and I confused the morning week.
I've heard this song a thousand times, I have no idea what they're talking about.
Three hour layover at YVR, any advice? What terminal?
Do not do the Reddit thing, leave the airport, take an hour along the Sky Train
Into the city just to eat at a recommended restaurant then take an hour-long sky train back. That's crazy
Just three hours
Have a long lunch and go for a walk. That's about it, man
That's the last book you read how zero piece of shit don't read it two stars honestly should be one and a half
Oh, or assist on that one for me.
They never expect the aggressive Mercado.
Lock in. Just 30 seconds. Lock in.
one fella. He's going for exit frags, careful. Oh my god, he's hit them. See that's the guy.
I'm still trying to figure out like it.
That's the guy, man.
Like is it a bit?
Or is it a, I sort of don't understand the character.
Don't point at me.
I'm pointing at the one who says,
why don't you coast stream?
It's literally free money.
But I'm not sure if they're a real person.
I'm smoking jungle. Mother fucker man. No, no, I'm body blocking you. I'm body blocking
you say that
Who's got bomb
Why he popped into me when I threw my smoke and made me look like a fool
What a shot, bro.
Gravity assist.
Yeah, I'll take.
When the I am a real person message gets
uh, auto modded.
You got an op out there, man.
Automotted you got an op out there, man
Let's do this orange
Chock-a-naw baby shocking off the fuck
Sexy ass op tracer do you see that let me get on your head boost me boost me to veranda
He's literally scared.
Peek him.
I got you brother.
Here we go.
The cat peek.
obviously you go A on this beast. Take a chance and break away bro. Kelly Clarkson.
I missed. Broadway rhythm. Well, you're not coming down, cat. That's what we got to
damn artillery. Who's next? Everybody gaaaaaansh!
Play esteem. Get ready. It's a song about a superhero named Tony. It's called Tony's
steam. Don't blow up and kill me and take my op.
Rare rebuy armor type situation.
It's a good game, man. It's a good game.
The AWP made this game so much better.
I'm glad they added it.
I see him cat, gal.
Not up.
No!
No!
I had him too!
I wanted to say a librarian can you cut that I literally thought I hit him hit the
railing let me see an analysis that I want you I'm literally doing your job for
you I want you to zoom in on where the impact of the bullet is and enhance it
and then cover it with a red circle like this I want to see it I want to see
how close it was because I honestly I think it was off by this much and then
literally put like a little ruler on the screen and then take that ruler and move
it to where the bullet was it would be over here but move it move it over
there GG all sniper kills nine you need 24 minutes okay wait wait we can do one
more no we can't let me see what's my life up to because we're supposed to play
3. Re-animal in 24 minutes. 24 minutes is an awkward amount of time. I mean 24 minutes
of dollars is awkward, too. But 24 minutes of CS is impossible. I'll go to the bathroom
and then we'll figure it out.
Be back in a second.
you
you
you
Fuck it, 24 minutes of Dulse, 32 short films about Dulse.
Don't forget Minecraft Steely Dan.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
Surely somebody posted about it in the discord. It's not just game suggestions for the 13,000th day in a row
Let's see
You found it already, okay
Imagine that shit. Oh my god
There's four minutes long
React Andy incoming
Oh, she and the Michael McDonald in the bag
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho, niceest wishlist ever.
This and the...
That's how you play such airassign,
And I'll ever turn for you.
Time out of mind, man!
Time out of mind, man!
Oh, he knows, he knows what to do!
Are you the Diamond Sea-o-o!
Yes!
I feel like I'm in the Party all the Time music video right now.
I'm pushing Zyder's up!
This is really good, I mean the cinematography is actually insane.
It does feel like a parody just for me, there is that.
Damn, damn, why he's hitting that shit?
Oh man, you gotta use, you gotta use beds.
You gotta, you gotta play some beds, bro.
He doesn't know what you can do.
What was that?
Yeah, that's the sound of XP.
I mean like VH1 behind the music, man.
And then...
Oh, and then we take it one more.
Extend it and that's good too.
And then in the background...
There's a line on the bench!
And then just take it a little further.
I think it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
you
you
you
you
you
you
I don't know what any of this shit means, but it's awesome.
No way Jen Alpha got to the doobie brothers.
She is the voice of far away
He always had the royal heart
That's a hard-ass register to sing
As if you she won't, she's the part of me
Anyone would think she fell apart
He's watching K-Song, on a new screen.
This is how many stuff we've done so far, I see more blood.
To reason, to wait for the day to leave.
Damn.
Man, fuck AI.
We got EK, Earth Canaan.
Ghibli, are you here?
He wouldn't appreciate it.
He wouldn't get it.
He wouldn't understand all that.
This ain't AI?
That's why I said fuck AI, bro.
Try to keep up.
Young pup.
Some studio Ghibli garbage obviously this is Nassica
Avatar the last airbender
Princess Mononoke this says Mononoke vibes told you
Spirit of the Way. Embarrassing. Embarrassing the guest spirit of the way on that one.
You Know Ball is my second favorite movie after Both of the Spider Versus, bro.
Recently announcing his retirement, Levante David finished top five all time in solo
tackles after playing his whole career with this NFC team.
have a Bay Buccaneers. Okay. Nickname Skywalker, David Thompson averaged over 24 points per
game in the NBA and ABA for this Western Conference team. Probably not the Washington Bullets
if they're in the Western Conference. Probably the Sacramento Kings. Imagine this woman was
the starting goalie for Team USA. It's not Mia Ham. It's not Mia Ham or Christine Sinclair.
It's not Megan Rappin. No. Abby Wambach. Abby Wambach? She could be a keeper for all I know.
This scientist's famous laws of motion are three physical laws that describe the relationship
between the motion. Are you keeping up with this? Of an object and the force is acting
on it. I'm going to say this, Isaac Newton John. This is, I sounded so much like this
is audible. Did you hear that? This is audible. I don't know how I channeled that so quickly.
This is Audible.
Nothing is coming to me on this one.
I think you might be Timothy Oliphant.
And Penelope Cruz?
I'm more confident that this is Penelope Cruz, but I don't know if it's Timothy.
It's neither, men.
David Strathairn and Minka Kelly.
Can I tell you something about it?
It does look a little bit like Josh Hong.
You're not wrong.
I
Well, I mean so tax day was Thursday, right? I did the first weekend in May
Spring cleaning by canceling every subscription that I no longer use
It feels fucking awesome man
Why the fuck did I have Xbox game pass ultimate on the console and on the PC?
I use my show just buy minecraft for 15 bucks, bro
stupid ass. Oh, I'll get the subscription to save $2 once and then just pay it for like
10 months because I fucking forgot about it. You fucking idiot! Idiot man! Also fuck audible.
A, they only let you store 12 credits, which is stupid as fuck because it's literally just a
number in a database. B, you can't cancel your plan on the app. You have to go to the
website and sign in so they're literally trying to they're putting just hurdle after hurdle after hurdle after hurdle after hurdle after hurdle in front of you
but nothing feels more powerful than
Saying you're gonna cancel a subscription and then they start hitting you with a fucking groveling bro
Please oh
What if we offered you exactly the same functionality for?
97% off
Would you be interested? No, just so you know you're gonna lose access to the plus catalog
Fuck you, man. Give me my fucking credits
Chocolate milk blue milk. I don't know a single brand of chocolate milk in the United States
What is the chocolate chocolate milk brand
Yoo-hoo Yoo-hoo is a chocolate you you you who you who nest quick nests nests quick
It's not Nesquik, y'all.
True Moo.
Okay.
What's actor portrayed
Din Jarin in the upcoming
box office bomb, the Mandalorian in Grogu?
That's Pedro Pascal.
After playing Pat, what the fucking...
Oh, because it's May the 4th today, motherfucker!
Natalie Portman won the Oscar.
I would literally type Portman in there
and thought I was a genius.
That's Black Swan.
This band's hit
Does California-cation reference the Star Wars planet of Alderaan?
Does California-cation reference Alderaan?
It does.
What's the line?
Alderaan's not far away.
Alderaan's not far away.
Californication by me a star on the boulevard it's a Swedish representation
something like that right
Mary did a little bit of heavy to the world she's my very own conflagration
literally let me save you from an unforced error do not ever sing
Californication at Sweden, at Sweden, little girls from Sweden dream of
silver screen portraition. At karaoke it is 10 times longer than you think it is.
You think it's two minutes and 48 seconds long, it's seven minutes and 15
seconds long, and there is about half of the song is just...
You will realize after the second verse you're like
You guys can just go next. You guys can just go next.
Hey, a surgeon very well to change the signs of aging.
Stranger in the world, she was no girl and this is something crazy.
That's when you bring out the air guitar? Yeah, bro, I'm paying $2.50 a minute to watch someone do air guitar to Californication. Come on.
Be fucking for real right now hit the skip button so somebody can sing a real song
Hacky sack beanie, baby laboo boo etch your sketch
Doodle bug I don't know man. It's like the like kids kids fads. I don't think hacky sack
really like a kid's fad though. No, because Doodlebug is like a fucking, is a fucking thing too. I don't
know man. Doodlebug sounds like some shit you could draw on. iPillow, control panel, radio control
panel. A desiccant packet. Chowder. Chow. Marshmallow. Allow. Sweetheart. I pillow.
pitter patter, pitter patter, alliterative, some shit with alliteration, hacky sack, pitter
patter, etch-a-sketch, beanie baby, alliterative children's toys, I don't know what the fuck
you want from me, man!
La boo boo beanie baby teddy bear doodle bug kids stuffed animals
Teddy bear beanie baby the boo boo etch a sketch should already gas it clam
Clam ham ham radio ham
Ham Marsham ham Chowder clam Chowder clam stove
stove
stove
la boo boo
Starts with lab lab lab torque starts with Tarkov maps
Chow
sweet heart I
pillow softy
Softy a sweetheart a marshmallow and a teddy bear
When she says you're like a brother to her
tender-hearted person a
Beanie baby a la boo-boo
Some other shit things that dry stuff out a
Desiccant packet a stove
Things with knobs things with knobs
Where we're so back we're locking in
hitter pattern
La boo boo a beanie, baby
La be la boo boo
La-Boo-Boo, La-Boo-Boo, the duplicated sounds, hacky sack, pitter patter, La-Boo-Boo, beanie
baby.
Well, what the fuck is doodle bug, desiccant, desiccant packet, eye pillow.
Wait, did shit stuff stuff shit a desiccant packet a hacky sack a la boo boo and a beanie
baby?
No!
Pellet filled things were in stuffed shit!
Stuffed, I pillow stuffed shit I guess a little bit.
Things filled with beads.
That was fucking hard man.
I know about doodabug.
Doodabug.
I'll say the boom, boom, tick in my heart, I'll say the bang, bang, bang till the boogie
start, the boom, boom, tick in my brain, I'll say the bang, bang, bang till the solace
That's Jitterbug. Yeah, I don't think so kid. I don't think so. Government Ministers
of Nazi Germany, German architects, yeah this is Albert Speer. Mother fucker, banality
of evil-ass 1973 songs that are also by the Fuji's killing me softly no woman no
cry that's what I typed 1996 Japanese television series endings
Dion Genesis Evangelion, 2010's Ballads by Demi Lovato, songs from Frozen, songs about freedom.
This is Let It Go, man.
20th century and 21st century Spanish singers born in 1943 who are American country singers
who sing in the who are named in the Panama Papers and are from Florida and are also real Madrid Castilla
footballers of Jewish Puerto Rican descent they sing in Tagalog
you're 73 years old country music Spanish singers from Florida German language Spanish
Japanese language singers, men's association football goalkeepers. All I could think of
is Mark Anthony, who is actually Mark Anthony. But I find it hard to believe that Mark Anthony
could be 73. It's all the way fucking watched Golden Balls last week. I should have known
it was Julio Iglesias man he's always singing shit about me Corazon 1989 British novels about
butlers set in Wiltshire some remains of the day that shit was I thought that was 200 years old
I thought it was from 1600s 1942 paintings. This is my Hawks, bro
1927 Austrian novels by Franz Kafka
speculative fiction. What? What one did you not fucking finish man? This shit is not the
metamorphosis did you never finish the trial America I guess I should have known
by the fact I said America the novel began as a short story titled the
stroker now man these stroke has got to be a long story tennis players of the
2000 Olympics Goron no this is not going even East of it bro this is
Roger Federer. So, can you tell me where we're going even if he's from?
Units of level. Radio frequency propagation. Audio electronics. Units of level. Was frequency?
I said, oh mother fucker, whatever.
We maug regardless.
I'm hearing reports that reacted to something I made.
Is this true and did I miss it?
Yes, you made a Minecraft time out of mind parody.
I watched it and spent the whole time
just going holy shit.
And then went, this is awesome.
I thought it was incredible.
I thought it was a labor of love.
I thought it was a beautiful thing.
It made my water turn to cherry wine.
My duet planner is empty.
Hello.
Got into your head favorite Steely dance song.
Right now.
I don't know.
I don't know any Steely dance songs.
She's not fucking with Bob Dylan, but every once in a while
she's OK with the Steely.
But that goes.
Hey.
Is that Bob Dylan or Steely Dan?
No, that's Steely Dan.
That's not an accurate representation of Steely Dan.
He's like,
What's funny?
And at the back of the singer goes like,
That's got a little Babylon sisters to it.
That's got a Babylon sisters.
Shake it.
Ha ha.
Yeah. So fine, so young.
All right, I will invite you
Are you are you sick of me singing?
There's no right answer that question so I'm gonna say no. Oh, no you are that just means you are no, it's not true
Welcome to your why are you why are you here? Hold on let me refresh
Ryan is a gear on my screen. Do you have the thingy on the screen?
I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm not totally sure that I'm the guy that we put in the VTuber
avatar on the screen. It's not a VTuber avatar, Ryan.
We did it on last Monday and like I'm not really sure it added that much and then like
on Friday it added so much.
Maybe it was during Bandit Trap you were like here's the link to get it set up but you kind
of let me off the hook and I was like oh I'm off the hook.
You gotta do it.
I think you gotta send me another link then.
It's if you just scroll up it's right there.
I'll send you the link.
Oh wait, that's you, hold on.
This one.
I don't know why yours is not loading on my screen.
Third party plug-in having an issue?
It was, you were-
I'm doing the no maidens.
I'm doing the no maidens avatar right now.
You were there.
On my screen now, it's gone
This is crazy, but mine works perfectly fine
Why am I not working
Mine worked instantaneously
That's kind of upsetting. I wish it would work for me
We live in a criminal world where bandit trap has 14 reviews on steam
That was a good game
Yeah, they only had 15 of you of players
That's so messed up if the NOS s still existed
We would have played it two times a week for a month and we would have we would have gotten
We would have discovered
Emergent strategies and stuff like that we would have there would be a meta that would come up around it
I'm not saying gamble with your friends wasn't peak. Don't get me wrong, but
Are people okay with no gamble with friends this week, I think it's okay. Oops
Instead we're we're gonna do bird watching yes, man I
I'm a girl this time
are you are you are the girl wait and I've got the I've got the crowbar yeah
I got the whoa whoa I pause so I can put a slash marker and now we're back
oh Ryan yeah let's start me of course if you said no cuz I'm holding a knife
Oh, it was it was a yandere type thing. Yeah, yeah, he knows he knows off knows
I'm very familiar with I don't know about
One percent of otaku culture I suppose
What did I tell you I had a dream and then I was pregnant and I had a baby and then you were like it's Michael
You did, you did tell me that.
You did tell me you had a dream where you were pregnant
with a son right after Michael came to exist
in Tomodachi life.
That's scary, dude.
The son that nobody asked for.
The son who stepped up.
Holy cow, how come you're faster?
Shift key difference.
wait what look for real marked what this is where you fight twice baked
Asian at the end of Sekiro shadows that twice oh I thought you didn't finish that
game you got me confused with another guy people are like bitching you're not
using the arts not only did I did I finish I did pretty well on the final
boss. What I tapped out on was like, I'm going to beat every boss in the game. And then
it was those weird little like shaman dudes who would just spam you with purple bubbles
from like across the map. Well, you tried to find the boss arena and I went, no, I'm
not doing all this garbage.
I was fighting one of them underwater or something like that. I was getting, getting
picked off
yet the shichimi warriors
the damn furukake sashimi
sashimi warrior furukake squad
give me a second i also have to change my game name because the same people who
are bitching about the shichimi warriors are now bitching about the game name
being sashimi warrior
i could go for sushi right now
sashimi warrior
you know i could i could go for sushi right now as well
i thought you were gonna leave me hanging
I wouldn't have I love sushi.
Although you'll be like, oh, there she goes again.
Everybody is.
Not a lesser man, a less authentic man for sure.
But I love to eat one cucumber roll, one salmon roll,
one tuna roll.
And you know what will drive you bonkers?
Sometimes the cucumber rolls the best,
but only if they put the sesame seeds in the cucumber
before they roll it up.
Where can I go go through?
We both knew this was a one-way trip.
I'm stuck.
y'all
y'all what
uh... i'm stuck what
can you go
i can't i'm stuck
can you give me a push or something
i'm stuck
now i'm stuck
i don't even see you
oh there you are okay
i don't know why i cannot go through
maybe maybe we can't go back okay okay okay now i can go through
now it looks like you're stuck
no it's like
you have to go through
I can't
what?
I can't go through
okay okay you go ahead
okay try to try to jump
press all the buttons attack
oh attack
oh press right click to cancel okay
Or maybe we don't go out.
It does look like they're going like, hey, come here, come here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, now I'm stuck too.
Maybe we can't, we don't go outside.
Oh, maybe Michael's fucking with this, man.
Maybe it's the third try.
Maybe I'll just beat the piss out of it
with this crowbar Gordon Freeman style.
Wait, maybe we go over the top here.
Loose me?
Michael, do something!
You couldn't go through, right?
Every time I go through, he goes like, hey, come here.
And then I come over.
Oh, you have to click your mouse, apparently.
Apparently you just gotta click your mouse so you can go.
Oh, wait, this thing got toppled over.
Here's your preview of what Thursday is going to be like.
The bird watching the bird is going to attack you and the most peaceful flock around.
You go there with the little camera.
in the bird watching might low key be the move for for my 40s it's got a lot of
elements that I think I can get down with waking up early being outside in
like a cozy outfit in cozy attire yo it's a what's that movie spirit it away
No no no.
Mokja?
Okja.
Okja.
Okja.
Okja.
Let's go eat.
Oh!
You lit it up.
I did light it up.
Pitbull style.
Yeah, I speak Korean a little bit.
a fellow be saying some shit like on the arm how say oh right on the middle I
literally thought I was gonna milk it yeah you're gonna build this see I think
the dance like hate it's always in their games like the people eating like fat
fat pigs crazy Tina you fat lard come get your dinner there's no shot this is
the door we started on. Also, Michael got killed.
I think there's a secret here.
We probably have to kill those birds.
What's the kill count?
What's the kill count?
Because I think I got it all, honestly.
Yeah, five, five, five for me.
Oh, five assists.
How about that?
I'm about to-
Ooh, poster!
Can't be just poster, right?
We should outfade our whole house with posters on the wall.
Like a dorm room.
Have you ever posted like a sexy lady on your wall?
Not a sexy lady, no.
I had one poster in university
and it was the stylized piece of art from the Flaming Lips album,
Yoshimi Battles and Pink Robots.
And then my roommate had a poster.
It was the theatrical poster for Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone.
The first Harry Potter movie.
But your university dorm or whatever the house that you guys lived in must have had one or
two bikini ladies, right?
I'm not saying my friend didn't have the poster where there's like seven ladies with their
shirts off at the swimming pool and their backs are painted to look like all the Pink
Floyd albums.
I'm not not saying it
I'm not not saying he didn't have the top of me the Pink Floyd one
I'm not not saying he had a poster of Tony Montana spraying a Tommy gun and every time he looked at it
He would say say hello to my little friend
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, that's so loud. That's the nut sack. I'm out of here. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god
Oh
My god, oh my god, oh my god, bro ain't so good on the stairs. He's looking like eb-209. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh
My god
Why why why
You know pelicans are really stupid. They just want to put everything in their mouth and
Animal they still try to eat
Is that true then yeah, so you'll see pelican
They see like the adult man and then they try to like eat you by putting their mouth on you and the people go
Oh, that's cute. But it's actually then like I want to eat you. Yeah a lot. We're trying to see your carbon
This is terrible I think
It's what it's like when you're at the Embarcadero in San Francisco with some internet.
Oh my god this is like so bad.
I've never seen... oh gosh.
I think the pigs are angry at me now.
Why are they looking at us?
Probably like, dang!
The pigs will help us!
The pigs will help!
Oh!
get his ear the pigs will help us the pigs will help
why don't they eat the pig instead damn Michael kind of help his help his own
It was this person.
Well, we don't get to that.
That must be Jackson.
Jack Michael Jackson.
She got it.
It was Michael Jackson.
Sometimes I get interrupted when I'm telling my wife a funny story and I go, it's not that
funny.
I don't need to say it again.
I was telling her about the Letterbox reviews of the Michael Jackson movie last night
and our kid interrupted us and then I was like, no, she's got to hear this.
I was like the top review is from someone where the review just says the critics can
suck my key key and then if you click on their profile like the last 11 movies they've watched
are all Michael Jackson concert documentaries like they're a real Michael head.
I like this movie they can suck up my feet is so good I think to be honest with you
I think I would probably believe that the movie kind of sucks, but the review is so good. That's so good
I'm gonna be upset if this is the ending of the game. Yeah, this looks like Dark Season 3 to be honest with you
Can't so good at the he he that's what she sounds like when she eats bulldog ramen
That's that's not true.
He he.
I never say he.
She never she never says he he but it would hit hard.
Oh no what I think I'm bad.
Or if you just started kicking your leg out straight in front of you.
Well I think I'm bad.
I'm the lamb.
I'm the lamb?
She's the lamb?
Would it be scary if the lamb walks on two feet?
Actually, that would be terrifying.
I'm a big lamb.
Kind of crazy people will watch this and be like,
this is turning me vegetarian.
Bro, we gotta eat more animals. They're killing us.
It's them or us man. I'm just playing
School bus
We gotta go to the hospital right I mean that's like the yeah, maybe the school
Wait, this is such a real question. Where do you sit on the bus?
Can't have a notice everybody sat on the other side, so I guess screw me I
I said the back for sure I was back left senior year because that was like I mean you got first pick
I was younger I definitely said the very front younger kids said at the front for sure I don't even
to this day I don't mind being like about a third into the bus I like I like the back
This is a lot of pressure at the back, a lot of pressure to be cool.
You're missing out on this vibration from the controller, because you're playing on
a keyboard and keyboard and mouse.
That's true, missing out on the Force Feedback, the Rumble Pack.
This is audible.
It's orphanage, it's orphanage.
This looks like where the damn Adams family lives.
Would you want to be, would you want to go to Adams family mansion?
I honestly think if I ate before I went to the Adams family house I would have a great
time.
I don't want to eat whatever freaky ass shit they'd be serving, but I think honestly
I could fuck with their vibe a little bit if they invited me.
I'm playing croquet with like a human eyeball or some shit like that?
I don't mind.
All I know is they ask me to drink some shit that's bubbling.
I gotta say, oh, actually, I got like a stomach thing.
Could be hydrochloric acid or some shit.
Oh.
Oh.
Thanks for the boost.
Look at that.
I help you out.
Ha ha ha.
You don't think it's this window?
No, it's not.
I like the people um one of their favorite moment of gamble with friends is that when I was drunk
and apparently I started sound like a Swedish person hello guys
I'm drunk you sounded like you were so stoked that we just won the draft lottery
I already know what to do here I grabbed this one you said it to what the real time is
I'm gonna need some help with this like 1210 or something
Wait wait wait wait wait
It don't go that way this shit don't go clockwise you literally had a one job worst horologist of all time
Yes
Longhand so that the small hand will move so I think I can
Push you into that hole librarian. You're so fucking real. It did sound like L fanning trying to hit the Norwegian accent
sentimental value mentioned
Okay, you got to tell me listen. I fuck with sentimental value
How does it have a higher letterbox to average of one battle after another? We're not serious people here
This is crazy. Don't end up here. I know you're gonna say some shit like it's better
It's not okay. It's subtler. It's subtler
Oh, uh, crotch, crotch.
I'll let you go first.
All right.
Are you scared?
Yeah, I was a little perturbed.
Oh, what the fuck was that?
Oh, what the fuck was that?
I was magical too.
Oh, it's just-
Kill it, kill it.
This freak.
What I did to that spider in my shower.
That's true.
I was killing hell of a bags this weekend.
Oh my god, what if they're real Ryan?
What's this?
Bro, they lost physical 100.
This is the price you pay.
What's this?
I'm holding something.
Some kind of brick.
It looks like a box.
a brick? It looks like a box. A
brick is kind of a box that's like
filled with clay. Oh, poster.
Yolk?
I could have said it down.
Oh.
Damn.
Yeah, good idea.
I should be able to sit down on that couch, no?
Cheat this shit like a rage room.
We look like we're in the Tomb of the Giants right now.
Actually a little bit more like the Catacombs City Fair,
but.
Maybe it was just to get that bucket guy and then kill him.
All this for the bucket head?
That's it?
No shot.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, right here, right here, right here.
In the wardrobe.
Oh, I need your crowbar.
Ready?
Y'all ready for this?
Y'all ready for this?
What the heck?
I thought it would be to the 10th.
See the big exclamation point on the screen?
Oh, it's just a window hole.
Oh, it's just Narnia, Narnia.
I was like, damn, the HUD is getting really oppressive.
They put, like, in this atmospheric game,
they put a big white exclamation mark on the screen.
Are you doing anything?
I was stepping on the box.
Oh, wait, hold on.
Let go.
But no, not you. Not you.
Well, you said let go.
I was talking to my character.
I was quoting the Garden State soundtrack.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I think there's like Medusa.
Oh, there's a kid.
jump over non-lethal oh okay okay or or break four corpse we gotta beat him up
beat him up beat him up right beat him up holy cow I couldn't believe you beat up
that was crazy that's messed up that was insane messed up bro you know you
shouldn't beat up children like that she didn't beat up anybody to be honest
especially children oh wait hold on hold on wait hold on come on out come on
Come on out come on out. I want to see what's
Come on out. Oh, that's the
That's the dance the dancer of the boreal valley the dancer of the boreal valleys in there
I don't think we can get out
We ruin the secret
What the heck I'm stuck in the pot this is the least concerned I have ever been of an enemy spotting us
just because they're children well I think I just one tap them if they see
me so I'm not really sweating all that I think we should be strutting through
here like we own the damn place it's the office oh my god oh my god oh my god
we got you here you found those ones I got this one
can't help but notice what you're only taking two people down where I was
Just picking five people down.
Yeah, but these kids are really strong.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
These kids grew up on a farm.
You call these city folks weak?
I'm calling farm kids stronger.
Ha ha.
You haven't lived until you've had like sixth grade gym class with a wrestling
unit and you're going up against a kid who has like visible veins in his forearms.
Oh we gotta go upstairs right? There's a kid right there. You want this one?
I mean you should have blocked the road. Yeah he belongs at Costco. I don't get
that one. Well at Costco they're always leaving their body in a position that
blocks the flow of traffic.
I hear you, Oink.
Oh my god, there's a big thing that just ate it.
Oh no, they sacrificed a pig.
Could be a good idea for a restaurant.
Miss Piggy?
Oh, I can sit here.
Look at that, details.
You gotta appreciate all the details.
What if there was a Korean barbecue restaurant where you brought your own meat?
I think they do have that in Korea.
Like, it's the first floor is the meat shop.
Mmm, so you bought you can just buy the meat and just go home
Or you can go upstairs and pay extra to get like the lettuce and the side dishes and stuff like that
But the idea is that you're not
Right swing away swing away Sean
But it's the idea is that you're not paying extra
How about a restaurant meet how about a Korean barbecue restaurant bring your own grill
oh my god got mine I think they're dead with what were you going through the crack in the
wall. What the heck? What is that? That's our friend. Nope, nope, not a friend. That's Mike.
Jackson, Michael! Oh my god, I throw his spear. This is literally Blighttown. It inflicts toxic.
Okay, okay, okay, and toxic is like poison but way worse way way worse
Oh Wally Wally go home
Oh no, I don't feel good about this, Mr. Stark.
I mean honestly the more of these little punks we got the better.
Oh no, oh no!
Why did you say that?
Not everything got...
Oh!
We gotta have some light for the streamers.
Actually it looks way better on the video capture.
Oh my god!
Okay, okay, you died to their bones Cindy
That's bones. Here's the scary movie to
no, I
Like scary movies that are bad, but I don't like scary movies. That's well. You wouldn't like scary movie too then because that's a scary movie
That's good
I thought scary movie is trying to be the don't just attack don't don't don't just we can just go there sleeping
they're just sleeping right there just sleeping at the scary movie was the
whole point of it was just trying to be funny that's right yeah yeah like it's
it's so bad that it's funny wouldn't say it's bad oh you step on that girl I
would say I would say if anything it's good I think all right in bond I think
you body smash they got me I think you have to keep them at bay while I use
My crowbar to open the the boards on the movie or on the door you like fighting though
Yeah, but I have the crowbar which is the only thing that could open the door. I think what the heck? Oh, we're right here
All right, okay, Ryan, but I got you use pro attack check it out
They remind yeah, I think we just have to fight them because I think we need both of you
Uh, just just don't fight don't fight. I won't step on the girl. That was underneath my foot. Okay. Okay
Okay
Just go slow go slow that because like when you when you get out of there there are two girls right there
You gotta go to the side, but not too much of a side. There's a person. There's a person. There's a person
Yeah, I can't even easy
Scary movie didn't age well.
Killing people is problematic in 2026.
You don't like the scene where Sean Wei says, hey man, does this shirt make me look gay?
And then Lachlan Monroe says, nah, man, nah.
All right, goodbye.
Why are you...
And then he pulls the bottom of the shirt up through the neck so it becomes like a bikini
top and then he says, how about now?
That's a really good scene.
Wait a second, someone needs to hold there and I jump and I topple over the bookshelf.
I get it.
I got way, yeah, yeah, she's on to something
Here you be on the plank. Yes
I won't do it this time. I won't do it this time. No, you're gonna do it. No
No, I would never I would never what are you doing you go you go. I won't do it you go
I don't know how to push the bookshelf over
No, there you go. All right here. I go
Oh, I tried to double back.
You should have just jumped.
You should have just jumped.
I tried to make it back.
Oh, shit.
Let's go at the same time.
Why don't we save time?
One needs to be on the thing.
I got it.
Imagine if you actually failed despite I was there.
failure it's a four-letter word for me
I don't get it it's a swear word a lot of swear words are four letters long
oh that's our friend Ryan oh my god Ryan man go I mean they spotted us we got
to go throw bar attack quick quick quick quick quick so it doesn't eat
stop it stop it pull it up is that friend okay
she you and then drop them we hold on can you okay okay do something maybe push
the bench or something oh no get yeah I get close
is that oh my
probably like jump out to him and swing him over to the other side or
something and these were here 100%
Kill fast kill kill kill
Okay
Hey, that was
Can we let go oh
Okay, you try jumping this time. I
I I don't think it's about jumping I think I think you need the IA you do
something for me yeah hold my arm don't let go okay this no what the heck come on
Man
Do we just die who does this dragon's lair was at the end of the game what if this is the end of the game
It's a trap reach sand city
But we're Michael now we're Michael
They would definitely love you, because your head is potato.
That is true.
I think we got us.
Oh, Swing! Yeah!
I'm just kind of mashing it.
Oh, we're tied.
They dropped us off in Ohio.
That's a potato monster.
Yippee!
Why?
Why would it would have been funny would you like when you snapped back because I didn't give you enough and then you fell down the pit and I would have been completely fine
Ryan!
You didn't go to the club at all you just went for it
Well you gotta move on man the light was on
I was looking and you had to see the reaction to my bit
That's the whole point of streaming
Is it?
I
Manor of speaking
I can't come back. I'm in shrouded in darkness come back come back. I
Can't see where I'm going Ryan. Well, okay. Now I'm back now. Now. What do you want to do?
Literally the taxpayers paid for that you're just out here kicking it oh my god oh my god
oh my god this is the Crystal Caves we're literally playing post Lord Vessel Dark Souls
right now there's a guy there's a guy okay okay okay this way wait wait wait for the
the next one ready before it make sure you jump
fuck what the fuck you gotta send the bro that was not my fault bridge you
gotta send it did you see I gotta did it say you gotta send it no you
literally got shoot shot off oh okay I was confused cuz that didn't happen on
I'm ice cream I'm ice cream I got blamed for the foibles of game design
I think that's that's what they say
Now I'm paranoid that every developer is like oh my oh
Big shot off every developer is like dropping chat into their game
And one per person one per person one per person
I don't know why I cannot get up like I'm right you're left yeah
confirmed to true okay and then I come I'm stuck I've been oh I guess I'll just
get crushed into the rock then I suppose I don't know why but I got stuck
My feet got stuck.
It happens.
I don't know why my character won't stand up.
Like I have to wait for you to-
It's just like a real life I get up before you.
I'm gonna come out to the outcropping here to give you a little bit more slack.
There you go. And then you're gonna come to your outcropping.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right here.
Well, well, just kidding you can do it and then I'm going to come over here to my
outcropping I'm just going to jump go go
Okay. No problem. Hold on. Michael? It's Jackson. That's Jackson. Three? All right. I would
personally maybe like to establish some combat now on before we do the jump, but that's okay.
I thought we go on three. Yeah, but if you go on three, you don't start with three.
start with one. I don't know. I think the first. Can I say I
haven't told much yet. We went a big way on the weekend. Yes,
man. Top 10 lunch I've ever had in my life. Second, first time
a big way was pretty good. Three, two, one, go. First time
a big first time a big way pretty good. Second time a big
way worked out all the kinks what top 10 lunch I've ever
of my life. So true. I think I'm gonna put one tofu instead of two. Well, I'm gonna take less
beef balls next time and more pork shoulder because I think that you get more meat for less money.
I think they start you with the meatballs because the meatballs are heavy. Exactly.
So you put like three meatballs in and all of a sudden you're already in for like 10 bucks.
Wait, wait, hold on. Maybe we wait for... That's a good idea. Jackson to do something.
Like Jack Jackson is trying to do something if he just falls in this will be so funny. Oh, he's helping
Okay, boost cephalus from 300 ass, I think we should throw him in it's him or us. I
Don't why why is it always here for us? Oh
My god, oh my god
I was thinking a lot of joke.
I was thinking my big way hot pot.
I was also thinking about hot pot.
I was thinking about how much Napa cabbage I could add before they tell me to fuck off.
I think you- did you add bok choy?
No bok choy, just cabbage and Napa cabbage.
You should try bok choy.
Bok choy's good.
I'm treating the pig-
I think the pig is just scared.
I'm treating the pig like I'm the damn Prime Minister.
Okay, I'm gonna go fast
It's making the same babies oh my god, oh my god, oh my god
This is a shit shot like John Wick
oh oh oh my god that thing are almost rugby oh my god go go go go step step step where am I where am I where am I where am I
status where am I Ryan I don't have control of my character yet oh they don't like son they don't
I don't like saw.
What's here?
Are we in a key?
Who?
that I did that to you.
Some of the Halloween.
She did do that to me on Saturday.
You just let me open this thing instead of always
taking my camera away from me.
What is it?
I don't know, because I couldn't take it out of my camera.
I didn't-
Not again there.
I didn't have a camera, so I don't know.
Maybe I've got the key.
I don't know.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Go fast.
Go fast.
I thought it was sunny in there.
It's in here though.
Let me open this one up.
There's going to be one of the creatures in here.
La creaturea.
Can I just say, you know, I have to sing an anthem, Canadian anthem today.
today. Oh really? It's so funny that not many people are you know not really good enough to sing to you. That's right. Yeah, I would confirm that myself including it. Can I say something? I lost all respect for the Tampa Bay lightning. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
I lost all respect for the Tampa Bay Lightning last night. Canadian anthem
singer, pitchy, warbling. I was like I'm gonna be offended if they bring out
another singer for the American national anthem. Right after the Canadian
national anthem, they wheeled a dude out onto the ice who was a hundred
fucking years old and served as country in World War II and then had the
greatest singer of all time singing the American national anthem.
That is, they were literally playing mind games.
She had blue lipstick on to match the theeming of the home team.
All I'm gonna say is if you live in the United States of America and you're like bragging
that you got picked to sing the anthem at an NHL game,
never tell anybody that it's a Canadian national anthem, because you know if they have the choice between the two.
They're putting the carry on the US anthem, that's all I'm gonna say.
You know I think because of the hockey I kind of know how the American anthem goes
It's all about the rockets red glare and some stuff
Follow me when this thing
Hey leg glare rouge don't let rock it
Let bomb is bursting sir
oxygen
You know what I'm talking about oh
Oh my god, I don't
Maybe we just use a key that's one way to do it. Oh that guy was looking at the one
Okay, I'm gonna treat you to your key. I don't know honestly
Oh, it's right here!
Oh my god.
Oh!
Oh!
Help me!
Jesus, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
Swing away!
It's over!
It's over.
It's over now.
I'm treating these beasts like the alien from science.
You're swinging with us.
It's still things and all the things are dead.
Oh potatoes
That's a fellow like me could disappear down here
Sorry, where are you? I can't see
Oh shit, good crouch, good crouch, good crouch
It kinda looks kinda cute
you what's this beast called from night rain what is this I don't I don't there's a
there's guy like that ancestral tree spirit is this an ancestral tree spirit
Oh shit, what the fuck, man?
It got no eyes!
Do you think it smells me?
Oh, I can smell you.
When it goes, we go.
I can't see though. Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on. We should have gone. Wait, hold on.
It's just way too far. Yeah, in front.
Don't knock it! Don't knock it, you dingodonga!
I'm free. I made it. I made it out.
Oh my god, you knocked the bottle down!
It was literally right there.
Oh, man.
You got caught you got caught there. You you got caught I got out. Oh
My god Ryan he didn't see shit
Shit it's beating us
Oh, I literally, oh my, oh my, oh my.
You ever notice that ever since our daughter started listening to singing in the rain, that
anytime we drive anywhere it's like we got a fallout radio station on?
Oh, I get, I think it's the vibe, yeah, yeah, yeah.
to is always some shit like I got spurs that jingle jingle jingle
you guys were the try to make a vlog try to make a vlog
my granddad said to tell him a joke just make sure it's got plenty of hook
make them laugh make them scream you know yeah Donald O'Connor posting
Oh gosh, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan!
Karakana as shingle.
Oh, I thought he would make it, dude.
Literally the only kind of video game I'm actually good at is platformers.
I don't know, you always jump down.
Well, this game's not...
It doesn't have the controls of Super Meat Boy, let's put it that way.
AHHHHH!
I'll day long and dream of you the whole night through
What I'm talking about?
Wait, wait, where are we going?
Through, through, through, through
This is how I get to Grandma's house
What, what for you? What for me? What the heck?
way way way w split the after shot they really think they're Lee Cronin's the
money it's sick why is it doing that oh like you're genius dude
Oh, God. Oh, God.
Oh, what the frick? Oh, my God.
I, like, literally saved you, I think.
What are we doing?
Um, okay. Can I say something?
That was a hell of a shot.
That's a hell of a shot.
Through 17 boards.
Little, that's a little crazy.
Yeah, yeah, I get him.
I'll take this one.
What a shot!
Right in the mouth!
Shoot him!
Shoot him!
Shoot him!
Shoot him!
Shoot him!
Shoot him!
Shoot him!
Shoot him!
Shoot him!
Shoot him!
Oh
What the fuck I got killed too I wouldn't beat yourself up over that one
We're too weak
Honestly should have power leveled on the starter island first I
I should have bounced the Bacca's ball back at him for 2 XP instead of just blocking it for one.
That's my bit. I wasted a sphere.
What a shot.
I like when she goes...
summer winter autumn and spring bomb for me that's the peak of that song oh my
oh my mom 1906
look did you see that oh wow where do you think it's gonna come out typical oh
Oh shit, two for one.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, what the freak, what the freak?
Oh man.
Dude.
I thought I clutched off.
That's crazy.
Final boss.
It might be, honestly.
Get him! I've got a hand over here!
You gotta shoot this guy then!
You had to kill the guy and then we just grabbed the spear and then we throw two spears at this guy!
You were just... you were dead!
There's no spear! There's no spear! Why did you get grabbed by the kid?
Why did you get grabbed by the kid?
You can't get the spear if you use it to kill one of the... the... the dust individuals.
You keep the spear!
I could not have to shoot him with the spear! Why do you... why do you not just...
Cuz I'm stuck that cinematically that the devs didn't trust me to have any control over my character here
Can we take one of these?
Holy shit, we both lift that's crazy, but now we're gonna have four for the next one
Don't get greedy on this one don't get greedy
Don't get greedy. Don't get greedy.
Whoa!
Okay, the spheres fail out.
Confusing boss fight, I just don't know what to do.
Holy synchro, synchro, synchro, synchro!
Okay, get a D on this side.
On the left side, left side.
Yeah, yeah. First one.
Clutch up.
Nice try. I like that. I like that hustle. Don't be on the right side. It might come
A little greedy but I like it.
Is it gone?
Follow that boss.
That's insane.
Now we follow it.
No way, what the freak?
This is how it feels as a kid to go get your soccer ball back from your neighbor after it goes over their fence.
I think we're trying to save Jackson.
Well, maybe we become the fucking monster.
We're re-animal! We are re-animal!
Nah, we're just saving Jackson.
Damn, Jackson was kinda like integral to his whole, uh, gut biome, huh?
Well, we got stuck at the throat.
Moses, supposes, his toes is a roses, as Moses supposes erroneously, you know what I'm talking
about?
Moses, supposes, his toes is a noses, as Moses supposes, his toes is to be.
Well why are we like, like, sputed out of the orphanage?
I think we're free.
Happy days.
Reunite your friend.
Well, there's a guy he's probably chill. Oh my god. He has a gun bro. It's the first world war y'all
It's a metaphor for the first world war. I
Thought we're not like I said, he's friendly. We have God. He had on the allies hat
Yeah, if it had a
Pointy sort of like spear on the top of it. I would have been like get down
That's the servant of Kaiser Wilhelm the second but he's got the the Charles the go
They're taking the kids away.
Oh shit, yeah, I mean, it's worth it.
Oh, that's Michael.
Damn.
Michael's being taken away.
Shit. I'm sorry to think you might deserve it, honestly.
Oh, no way, hold on, we didn't say that?
Man, stretched.
Jackson is all fucked up.
Half of Jackson's back in the damn building, man.
I don't see that.
Oh, shit.
Jackson's fine on my screen.
Jackson left a piece of himself inside the habitoire.
Oh, man.
Oh
Are you okay?
Damn, that kid's all bandaged up like the one kid from us
What's wrong with my character dude?
You don't want to throw up with a bucket on your head
Maybe that's why I got the bucket in my head
This is what the Americans think happens in your stomach after you eat Taco Bell.
They always freak out.
They do.
She's fine.
They do.
Oh, I thought you were talking about the Taco Bell.
Oh no.
damn who's driving this shit man Jay Leno? kid I had a good character in chat
did not like it but can I run it by you? sure sure it's it's guy with no money
ordering a sandwich at Subway and it goes a little bit like this yeah can I have a
zero inch nothing on none bread okay that's about it what do you think I think
I think Chad has had some right idea.
Holy cow, this is like the Pinocchio.
We've got the lost children.
My lost boys are from Peter Pan.
Wait, what did I say?
Pinocchio.
Oh.
Peter Pan.
So anyway, yeah, what do I have on that?
I'll take some air.
Take some air.
Can I get two lines of oxygen on that?
They don't like it.
They don't like the joke.
Oh, hold on.
Let me take a look.
You have to take a look, too, Ryan.
Come here.
Hold R, keep to zoom.
What if something shows up, Ryan?
Oh, yes, something grabs the binoculars.
Yeah, that would be spooky.
Oh, code, code. Up, down, middle, up.
Yeah, confirmed.
There's a flare down in the bottom right.
There was a flare. Up, down, middle, up.
Come here, take a look.
Oh, there's no energy.
energy. Probably flick this piece first. That's submit. Yeah, there was a come come back.
It was a flare. They shot a flare. Down here. Look at that. That's not a flare, Ryan. It's
That's a damn Bowie.
That is a Bowie.
It's just to see the puzzle.
Oh wait hold on.
Up down middle.
Oh that's the same thing.
Up down middle up.
What the damn bird doing?
It's tainted with oil.
With the human's greed.
I'll try to mine the oil from the earth.
You're evil.
There's the generator.
What do you call a bird?
A fish?
Fish?
I'm kicking it over.
What do you call a bird that flies over the bay?
A bagel?
Ah.
How many men were born in 1968?
No men were born, just babies.
Moses.
Supposes.
He knows the sir.
Can you send that one up to the top?
Damn, it kind of sucked ass to log in back in the day, huh?
Imagine trying to hack in this system.
Oh, fuck, we broke it.
Maybe kind of...
over what?
Yeah, yeah, let's peer.
There's an alien.
Oh my god, PUBG.
Damn, we called him there out of the gulag.
Missile.
Ammo.
I guess we go there and then we shoot that thing?
Yeah, yeah.
Shoot it and win the war single-handedly as the good guys.
Oh wait, the thing collapsed, Ryan.
Right here.
Kick it.
Miyazaki, you've done it again.
Best way to get around on Dead Burg.
Holy cow, my screen is glitching.
Okay, we gotta go this way.
Show me where the Scientology headquarters is.
The speedrun?
I don't think there's any watch-off.
It's gotta be the boat, right?
Ohhhh, the boat.
Get out of here, get out of here!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The fuck, this one's cracked out!
That one's crazy.
All right boys, push it!
That's like when you got some gelato on the dang sea wall.
Oh, yeah.
Oh yeah.
No, nothing.
I don't know this one.
That's the Dragonbolt Kid.
I thought it was a,
I don't wanna be, I don't wanna,
What's that Carly Rae Jepsen song?
I don't know that.
I wanna run to the feelings.
Something like that.
I thought it was that.
I gotta show you the kid
that dances in front of the boat.
That's the viral video.
We're gonna go to that dome
piece from the star
star, well what?
Yeah.
We'll find the secret.
We know the way.
We plot a course to find the brand new island everywhere we roam
Yeah
We see our island in our minds and we know the way
It's so crazy that I only got what the song was
That's the memo
From Juana, yeah from morning
Now do the Hawaiian part, okay, Matthew you tried to outwoke me that shit doesn't take place in
This is this I was in the middle of getting to the punchline. You're driving the boat backwards
We're driving out because you're not getting a spirit. You're not getting a fear. Where's the spear?
Where's the spear it's right there in the middle of the boat? Well that sounds like that's Michael's problem
I can't move. I literally can't move anyway the important part is
Press the interact button the movie doesn't take place in Hawaii. It takes place in Oceania. Okay, that's the important part
That shit is not Hawaiian
There you go, okay, it's uh it's a left mouse button
secret where's the secret I don't think we got turning the boat I'm turning the
boat but how did oh okay it won't turn me right way but it will turn me on the
left way you're driving should call this boat the tight panic guys I'm
I'm drunk I'm drunk. I'm drunk.
Moana does take place in Hawaii. I'm freaking out.
Kate, they're getting Hawaii confused with Lilo and Stitch.
Moana doesn't take place in Hawaii. It's a Polynesian story.
Well, you know what? You saved them from like a trivia.
Oh no. What the frick? You actually got it.
I actually you're looking like you're looking backwards though
We nailed it. There's a bonker
They say a wahoo like eight times. No, they don't that's the rock just says wahoo when he when he whenever he jumps he goes
That's true, that's true do we found another friend?
They remind oh shit remind
Never mind. Did you run?
But never mind with what?
they're wasting it wasn't what's happening it's dark average gamer oh so
there was no point to that then no loot why did we even come here then what
does the game theory got to think about this part I just don't want to know
what he thinks about 50 shades of gray. That's just a theory. Game theory.
Oh, you're on you're on spear duty this time. Yeah, I could have grabbed it. Try
I uh try right trigger Ryan we have to get out of here let's push it back in push it
back in. I'm steering this beast out of here and then go to the bunker. Okay, bro, I'm dying.
It doesn't take place in Hawaii. They're from an island called Motoynu, which is not Hawaii,
think on the right not not not not not not that right not that not the hard
right
look at that oh no I think Michael is glitched out pros levitating do a liba
I don't know that song.
You know Levitating.
That's the one where she goes...
What gave you the song?
Starlight, moonlight, tonight, hmm, I'm Levitating.
I got the starlight, moonlight, hot lights, I'm Levitating, ooh.
Yeah, yeah.
Something like that.
Yo, this bunker looks like the shape of your head.
It actually literally looks like a minion that's surprised.
It looks like a hungry minion.
I see that.
Load him up.
Righty, Lucy.
OK.
We're doing things a little bit different back then.
Holy cow one ammo oh wait wait wait and then you press the button to shoot the beast yeah
what I can't see anything damn it's me what's this okay flip it
Why the water, the water, the water, the water!
Why?
Those guys, I doubt that.
Load it up, let's shoot them again.
They're still moving.
That's comedy.
That is comedy right there. Holy cow.
Which one do we want to shoot?
Just put the rotation in the bag.
What if we need it to go left?
There's nothing here. It's obviously left.
I mean, it's shaking. It ain't doing all that much though.
Go left. Left.
I'm holding left.
I gotta be through that right there so on my screen nothing changed but on your
screen something changed the view the view I know I was looking here where am I
y'all you didn't do anything I'm trapped over here I can't come back
Jump over this is oh, no, no
Well, no, no maybe like this and then try to grab onto the thing again
I can put my head oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Don't do it
This is all I could do
Can you hit both both levers? No, obviously not I
I get a double distance.
Well, that was it.
I'll go on and die.
I'll also say, on my screen, we rotated the thing and it just shook.
It just shook a lot and the view didn't change and you kept going more to the left.
You kept saying more to the left, more to the left.
And I was like, is she fucking with me?
Because the screen has not changed at all.
The gun is just shaking.
Can you check for it?
What were you doing man? I was rotating the thing with you, but then you were like, okay
That's good, and it was like aimed at exactly the same spot for me
And then when we when we had aimed it appropriately I was on the other side of the of the gun and I couldn't move
It looked like you were Mr. Mime.
How it feels when your mom asks you to bring in the soda?
I don't get that part.
5, 6, surprise minion.
This is how it feels.
I'm literally going to say something and if people want to minus to it, they can.
stuff that I need to pick up is heavier than stuff is of the same weight when my
wife asked me to pick it up. There's something in the heterosexual male brain
when your wife says hey can you pick this up you lock in and it feels lighter
100%. Okay now I can see it moving. That's good. Like I've never been stronger it's
literally like like you cast like an AOE buff on me if you say something like
Hey, can you open this jar? It's literally plus 10% the strength for anybody in in range
That gotta be good. Well, hold on. Should we move it a little bit more?
I think we should move it a little bit more to the left like I would come from that that looks good. Do a piece like me
All right, let's try it
maybe wait hold on is there something more to the left what do we need to break oh now
It's moving fast. Oh, I started to help
That seems like a better target
Can I go can we go out again?
Where am I? I think we're the straight shot. This is like the firework rain that are lost shot
I think we got him.
Oh, no, it's angry.
Okay, let's hope that it's dead.
Let's go take a peek at him.
You can't look, it's far!
We'll go out on the rocks.
Never mind.
The camera is pointing inwards.
Well, yeah, it'd be weird if the camera was filming, like the person that was operating it.
Yeah, well, you were like going to the water and they see it.
It'd be like a Twitch stream or something like that.
Where's our...
Stuff about our boats back here
Hey, thanks for the last boys. Thanks to the last boys for doing a fuck all by the way
At least one guy looks injured like he got stuff on his head. Yeah
What's that like
How do you shoot?
Uh, right trigger?
Wasn't that where we came from?
Nah, no shot.
I'm pretty sure.
Wrong way, I'm being told it's the wrong way.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, there's dead rats.
This is not the wrong way?
I'm gonna freak out. This is the wrong way. This is the wrong way
It was the empty coffin
Oh camera help would really hit the spot here. Oh, oh make sure you guys put the seat belt on
Oh
It seems like you would like to always go to the right.
Well I don't like that people are saying we go where they kill the monster.
Like are you stupid?
There's artillery pointed there.
I don't want to get blown the fuck up.
We should go anywhere else, man.
They gotta be where the smoke is coming from, right?
Is Billu and Deist over here?
Yeah, where we shot him
If this game actually ends up being a metaphor for like the first world war
I'm gonna freak out because I'm not listen. I'm if the devs are watching I'm not putting any evil on you
I don't think you've done anything to earn the metaphor yet
Let's maybe go fast. I don't know I'm scared. It's as fast as I can go in these turbulent water
Oh, just you should do the mine mine mine
I'm not I'm not shooting that shit are you kidding me to be fun though it would be hilarious
but the riot will get lost again they didn't have the battleship like that in World War
1 you know it's crazy they had battleships like that in the Civil War is the type of
shit that loveless was using we went to the left to the left to the left right there
right there. Right there, yes.
The guy who thinks Wild Wild West is like a historical drama. They
literally had giant mechanical spiders and you don't think that
they had iron clads? They literally had 300 foot tall
mechanical spiders driven by a bionic man.
What does mechanical spider mean?
It's like a you know, Hangerback Walker from Match of the
Gathering. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's literally that
From why there's no way they have died no no no that was a loveless invention. He got mad weapons, too
Give me up huge
Yeah, yeah, he was stacking counters back then he got a bunch of tokens off the guy with the gramophone ear
They had to drain the wax out of his head
God is behind you.
You gotta say these kids are like more fit than me.
It was back in the day when they used to do the beep test.
The beep test?
Yeah.
I think I've done that.
It's when they...
I get confused with the gym class exercise so lovingly known as suicides.
Because when you run from like one of the lines in the gym to the other side and then
come back and touch the next line and then run to the next line and then when you finish
the last line you run all the way to the other side.
I think I did that, yeah.
They're the same thing, there you go.
Wow, the PE teacher always gave me B.
I think that's-
They would only give like boys or like the girls who are like super fit
Aids, which I think is kind of messed up. Yeah, but imagine like how those kids felt in like math class. They're like damn
I'm always getting the B. They're only given the smart kids the good grades
That's yeah, but it's not based on your physical
Appearances that you get B in the math
It's either you know it or you don't know it.
Well, yeah, but were you running at an A pace or were you running at a B pace?
I'm running as fast as I could.
I got some Bs in gym class, don't get me wrong.
There are some times I was like, you know, honestly, some of the kids that are getting
A's in gym class are fast as fuck.
Yeah, but that's like, it's physically impossible.
I cannot run as fast as a person who is like...
And the kids in English class couldn't write as well as me.
It's just...
It's just the practice.
Listen, take the black pill.
You get your stats rolled when you're born, basically.
There's no reason to ever put effort into anything.
Do I'm C-3PO?
Oh, shit.
No, you shoved it in my hands.
Now I'm C-3PO.
Holy cow, I can't believe the whole potato got in there. I think we're going underwater dude. Oh damn
Let's play um men of honor all be Cuba Gooding Jr.
That means you have to be Robert De Niro. No, it's probably better. I don't know. He's been in some garbage dirty grandpa
Her bird-ass octogenarian
You know now that my first
cover music video is out some people and most of people are genuine and they
they love my singing but some people are telling me to sing the song that you
sing which is you said like I can't believe they played on the radio oh
riptide riptide what you need to know about a lot of people in the YouTube
comments is that all the media that they consume comes from Twitch and YouTube so
instead of saying something like wow nice song they instead loop it back to
like another Twitch stream or YouTube video that they've watched and they're
like wouldn't it be cool if there was like a crossover episode
this is mighty dark oh damn oh that's your crowbar that's your cue yeah I got it
but can I say something bro just swim over your underwater man after we're
heavy we got we got the oxygen well take the damn tank off did we die
how's that lamp staying on the spot or the bed yeah we jump oh yeah oh yeah
ever since the pictures came out of nowhere I'm kind of scared not gonna lie
sounds some of the other animals were talking in animal farm with Napoleon was
elected leader she's you know you saw was very nervous about the gamble with
friends I heard that asked me he asked me if he was normal enough during the
stream. I think he fulfilled the role of you song very well by providing a body to be knocked
unconscious and then morphed dragged into the body donation machine and have his his appendages
slowly sold for tickets. There got to be something to do with the eyeball right it's
way too shiny. Oh yeah, extract that eyeball.
In Shenandoah?
Pop it.
Okay, it's flown off the screen at a hundred miles an hour. And now it's flown back behind
and into your hands.
It's in your hands.
It is in my hands.
Well, why do we want the eye?
Oh, it's coming back to life.
It's coming back to life, Ryan.
It's coming back to life, Ryan.
It's coming back to life, Ryan.
Well, how's it supposed to get us?
Like, off the back.
Ryan!
You said the only game that you're good at is platformer. You keep falling off of it. I
Got a bone to pick with the controls. Honestly, that oh you got the eye now. I got the eye
Faster
touching you yeah it's touching me you know that one i believe in a thing
i think so wait hold on i think i know this is the rhythm of my heart
oh bro's gonna blow up
okay i think it's really dead now
And now the cargo ships can safely get through
So kind of a W for global commerce to be honest
Well, is that the right way?
I still don't understand why we needed the eyeball. Hey, can you hit the button for me? I'm on three
Honestly, that's Otis's problem.
None of my business.
What are we gonna do with the eyeball?
Oh!
Put it in that guy's eye.
That's not how it works.
You get in there and attach the optic stem.
It's a whale.
Confirmed.
This is what Gavin McKenna's going to do that can not surely win the number one pick tomorrow.
You know this whale is a good guy because this whale is not, like, enormous.
Like the other bad guys in this game.
He's pretty big.
It was slender big, you know what I mean?
It is slender big.
It's kind of gold.
Alright, now go eat Kaiser Wilhelm II.
How do they know what to do the whale or us I think the whale knew what to do because she was like a college professor or whatever
Just kind of like taught classes in order pizza or something
I don't I haven't seen the movie
Hey guys
What's okay?
Whatever we reanimated a whale the whale that's gonna save us when it looks like
My god, I thought I was you
Where to I guess go to the right right to the right where the whale popped out
Yeah, should I grab the thing?
Oh shit.
Wait, hold on.
Wait, hold on.
I forgot the key.
I forgot the key.
I forgot the key.
I can't hold on.
I forgot the key.
Should I drive?
I think you can just- I just picked up the key.
Oh crap.
How about RT?
RT!
It's the RT, it's the RT.
Why? I think you were telling me it's why.
I pressed Y and there was nothing.
Maybe it's A?
Or maybe B?
I think it's X. Oh my god.
Oh man.
I think I was going to crash into it anyway, so it's not that big of a deal.
But that is really funny.
Ryderite, please, please!
This guy I have to dodge this
Oh my god, I don't know go fast or something I'm taking his beast out the Catalina
Oh, there's a there's a there's a there's a fake there's a fake
Any reason you're not just letting them fly non-stop because they auto-aim and infinitely respawn
They did not auto-aim if they're behind me. I cannot
I gotta shoot I gotta aim at the thing see
Give me trace I take it slow there, so I don't give you give me trace but I
Tried I tried
Honestly, if you were on my spot, you will be like why are you driving so fast?
I literally will go with that. We can throw up at the bottom. I would be 14,000 easy
Take it slow kill the guys
And there's one behind us
Oh my god, oh shit, that's insane
That's kind of messed up
That butter bean in there
I killed a guy I need a time to reload. That's not your fault. That one was good
Team work makes a dream work
Dreamworks mentioned I'm pointing to my I love Shrek shirt. I love Shrek. I love donkey. I love Princess Fiona
Oh
Very close very close
Ain't no way ain't no way none of my business
WF.
Alright, alright, alright.
This is Jungle Cruise, dude.
You gotta make some Jungle Cruise jokes.
It is like Jungle Cruise.
Can I tell you?
I'm not really fucking with the backside of water.
Why does everybody think that that's such a funny joke?
The backs are the war!
They laugh their asses off every single time.
I guess it's because there's always a secret in the backside of the...
Okay, alright. Easy there.
What else is a dollop of boss fight?
And I just totally wasted it.
Baaah!
Ah, we're chill.
Damn, I thought we were gonna go up the lift hill there.
Best part of Jungle Cruise is when you're on it with people that don't know that
the jokes are supposed to be bad and they're all looking at each other like
why are the jokes so bad like they actually think that it's supposed to be
good instead of shitty.
Oh we're in New Canaan. Oh there's a guy? Land that shot.
I think it's actually the rain.
The ceiling is getting bombed.
Okay, maybe go fast.
I don't know.
The ceiling is collapsing.
Okay, I think it's actually the rain.
I think it's actually the rain.
I think it's actually the rain.
in the city so in california so true
england needs a tupac there needs to be a tupac from the midlands stream
started with tupac stream ending with tupac there's a big guy there's a big
Oh, that was the that was the lamb
Well, long truly mighty sick right now. Oh shit. You have a glass of water
Have you eaten anything recently I'm doing them right I think all the
Woman related
Why not just be a hunger make it you a kid feel like have you eaten something recently?
Okay, but if I may, men be like,
have you had any water today?
And then sometimes women be going, no, but that's not it.
Sometimes they be saying, no, but I don't think that's it.
Can you like, maybe like, I don't know,
help me get off on my feet or something
instead of just, you know.
Instead of check the X-Ville first.
Washing?
Instead of check the X-Ville.
I think I'm gonna eat you.
I don't know if that shit is true, it's an urban legend.
I don't want to talk about shit.
Am I becoming the ship?
I doubt it's.
I doubt it's true.
Oh no.
Oh the ship is coming out of my throat.
Oh shit.
No, it's not a shit. It's a sheep.
Damn, that's where my Rogan Josh comes from.
I think I'm dead.
Oh, I'm not dead.
Now it would be really funny if I said that you had any water today.
Bye.
All right, Mr. It's all you.
This all happens in World War I?
Yeah, Bros. is literally Passchendaele.
You don't know Paul Gross?
Oh no, Michael!
This is why we observe Remembrance Day.
Why is the sheep angry?
Let's pop pop pop.
It ate the boy.
It's like, we've counted them for years, but they did something we never counted on.
Oh, that's Jackson.
Jackson is crouching next to the chair.
But Michael is dead, right?
I haven't seen the movie yet. No spoilers, please.
Why are we going towards the thing that killed Michael?
The closer you are to danger, the further you are from home.
How, like,
Guys, can you, guys, can you come back?
They're not questioning how I just
gave birth through my mouth.
The M section. The type of shit
David was doing to those alien embryos at the end of Alien Covenant.
is is find your way to the beach
you have like
like goals and quest and stuff like that
achievements achieved i got nothing
i guess because i'm on the friend pass
i don't think i'm okay guys
and definitely michael is not okay
her blood sugar is a little low can we get a piece of fruit
you can have half my mandarin orange
i'll take your potato
a poster poster
i mean it has to do with some kind of war
because the war is happening to their soldiers
but that's just a theory
game theory
i mean those are the trench lines
the fan theory that this game takes place during the first world war
just got a lot stronger
whoo
I was safe
there's another guy
okay
do you think they were just playing Russian roulette
we hold on
okay I'm getting uh...
I'm i'm getting a message from this game
ok yeah
Hat upgrade!
There you go. Now you're protected.
Getting a certain message from this game. I think the message might be...
and hear me out on this one.
Oh!
Might be that war is bad.
It's gonna blow up, it's gonna blow up.
Bro, you gotta give it like another couple seconds.
Can I have that hat? Can I have that hat?
Guys, wait, hold on.
I got the hat.
Oh, we've got to be this way, right?
She's right. She's right, you're now.
Oh, it's the shrine thing again.
The bunny that you lit up?
Yeah, yeah.
Now we get the good ending.
That's just the theory.
This is the good ending because I lit the candle earlier.
The Shrine of the Silver Monkey is crazy.
Oh, this is the fucking end of Blackadder goes forth, once more into the breach or whatever.
There's American Gladiators.
I'm doing a sequence break on the song, too.
Wait, wait, wait. This sequence...
This sequence has got me thinking, hang on, maybe war is kind of fun?
How did it start with, like, we just don't know where we are into, like, now we're in a war?
I'm let's just say this dude sucks
You put his AP I might be really high though
Like people are at home using wicker nail clippers so he has iron the waist on bullets like that
I'm tripping up dripping up dripping
I'm up up!
I fell.
It's getting narrower.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
How did it get so big?
Nooooo! Jackson!
What you fucking locked us in prison, bro. Oh never mind
Yeah, fuck it. I'll say a bro French German. I think I'm taking the first shot of the damn monster personally
They had a truce on Christmas they they're not gonna have a truce for this this seems like a you know force majeure
So I'll click a lot of posters
One of the upsides of war do a lot of traveling a
Lot of things a posters well postcards you'd maybe pick them up
It's this elevator
All right, bro
No reason to do all that.
Wait, what?
You should get up on my shoulders and push an elevator button, perhaps.
And then...
And then we use the crowbar to open the door.
No, because when we get there, a sheep's gonna pop out and try to eat us, so we stand on the back wall.
You think so?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
How would the sheep know where we are?
Maybe it's corpus.
Oops.
this crowbar served us very well absolutely now we're in the hospital
there's a damn sheep in the hospital
oh my god oh my
Oh, there is a wire cutter.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Yeah, I'll climb up on the damn locker and someone will blow it up with a proximity mine.
I jumped!
I jumped!
Oh my gosh.
Wait, wait, this way, this way.
Stop!
I'll jump it off from the blazes.
Oh no no no no no no no no no no please go faster please go faster please please please.
He got the blade, he got the blade, he got the blade, he got the blade.
Oh it's the skin skin skin skin people. Skin people.
What the fuck oh my god it's my man.
And then we go in.
Oh, oh, oh.
Damn bro.
I can't sleep in.
I can't sleep in.
Oh my god.
Holy cow.
I can't say that.
Holy cow.
But if you read the news, this is how it seems like they're treating the patients at Canadian
hospitals.
That's all I'm going to say.
You can't get antibiotics, but they do seem to be handed out grenades.
Oh no, the no-name guy.
It seems like the sheep was really slow, why were they keep getting eaten by it?
I think he just wanted to know what it felt like.
I wonder what it means.
The sheep that came that was dead and then got reborn from these girls inside of the body.
Within you, man is the capacity for evil, just built in.
That's all fleek, okay?
So the horrors of the world made that evil become manifest and you spit it out and now
you're spitting evil out into the world and it's actually reflecting back on the
the people who used to be your compatriots, you know?
It's the endless perpetuation of the cycle of violence.
But the why is it a sheep?
And it's very shaggadelic, baby, yeah!
Yeah!
She does not know for violence.
Yeah, baby!
Well, do you think we go in here?
I'm on film crit Austin Powers, baby. Yeah
Oh, they got a gun Ryan
Oh
How are they shooting me? I'm behind the piano
I
Don't realize my hat is actually serves as
Just go in just go in just go in
Now there's a sniper I
Don't know. There's a good thing. We got the helmets. I don't think the potatoes would have helped me. Oh
Look at that. Oh shit damn computer
Ducky
controller
oh I guess it's just making a video game sound
it's going like
I think we just roll right
Ryan?
why?
it's going to get the drop on him
Are you sure you're you're good at platformer it then you just you just find a way to
jump off
Not
She out
What's that game the last of us yeah
Okay, okay, we're chill
It's all good you didn't bother in us. Oh jump. That's a
Oh
Sitting down sitting down needed a little break
Oh, it's the laundry machine again, I
Jump jump. Oh jump
Oh
This way I don't know where I am. Oh, apparently I was in the roof
Take us that way. Yeah, I think you hold on there. There's snappers, right still
Or not
Okay, okay, wait, we'll talk damn damn maze
Okay this way, this way, this way, oh there's a circle, oh but there's a guy with the key
Oh, I see I gotta shoot him.
It's all right.
Pew pew.
Oh, I thought I would get those small guns.
I'm like a big gun.
Get a practice shot in on the one on the right.
Good shot.
Thank you.
I want to take that with us.
That is how Gen Z treats the Beatles.
We all know which one they're shooting.
I'm not saying you should shoot the other ones.
I'm just saying I don't know which one you guys are playing.
Why does the lab keep- Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What?
You saw me.
Why does the lab is keep evolving?
The war evolves the evil?
Well, it's no longer our monster to control.
Now that it's out there.
We're all got a sexy bag here.
We got to get out of arms away.
I don't know where we were supposed to go.
Just slide it.
Can you help me push it?
There you go.
this is literally what i look like in my office when you give me chicken tenders
run run oh man y'all
scripted go quick go quick go quick
fuck look up on what the fuck
he bit my head ok ok ok after that we hide we hide we hide
I think we could make it
I don't I don't think so I don't think so I think we hide
we have to be told
Because the bro bro was just grabbing the body
We just wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait please
Ryan I made it right
You did not you did not make it
He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
Buddy talks like a gentleman like you imagine when you
Are you telling me what to do?
I don't know why she's... hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold
Oh, what the hell?
Damn.
Spider-man.
Hope he's on our side.
Holy cow.
The lamb became human.
We were all born innocent like a lamb, but then we became a devil like this lamb.
Yes, we're all blameless.
We're all blameless.
The world fucked us up.
We're not in control of our own actions.
The end.
I wonder if we were like going extremely slow.
Cause uh, oh, I'm in here.
I'm in, I'm inside of the room.
Hey, come here.
I'm inside of the room.
I need your help.
need your help I'm I'm inside I'm inside
oh my god that helmet like literally saved your ass oh never mind I think I saw
poster when you were opening to the elevator door well go open the elevator
door what a great idea yeah yeah I'm glad you thought of it
That is this begging for a right-click smoke right there
Like right-click smoke right at the the window when you open the door. Oh, that would be
High value smoke
Okay, okay
Okay.
It's standing on fire. It's standing with shit on fire.
We got out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What did you grab? What'd you got there?
What'd you got there?
Paint can or something?
You never know what you...
You pick up stuff here and there when you're outside, you know?
Do we push that? Okay, hold on.
scary why why is a sniper not suicidal almost every things are suicidal in this game oh and
then we switch to the other car maybe maybe he's trying to aim it himself and listen oh
wait what pulled this one back so we can keep pushing the other car further.
Oh shit, oh shit.
Okay, okay, okay.
I mean the way these cars are driving it must be a Ford.
POV, you took your Ford out for a drive?
I see where the sniper is. Oh gosh, what, what, what, what, what?
Do you say we need to go up?
We gotta climb up.
Oh.
Jeez.
We gotta climb up there.
We're into the bus.
Into the bus.
Into the bus.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
And then what?
And then what?
I'll bait him.
I think we go.
We go.
We go.
We go.
We go.
We go.
We go.
We go.
Oh gosh, Ryan.
Yeah, I don't think we go.
You don't think so?
He shot me twice.
There was no cover.
But I made it.
Well for now.
There's gotta be...
What about this thing, Beckett?
What about the only other object on the screen?
What is it?
I don't even know what that is.
Oh!
Oh, shit, dude!
It's a rocket launcher
Damn rocket launcher rocket launcher. This is audible
Does that trigger anybody in chat when I say that it seemed to me in my head?
It sounds like a hundred percent like the audible guy
Like do you feel like you're gonna fall asleep if you listen to audible to fall asleep. It's one to one
I
I gotta start- I gotta start dropping that randomly in conversation.
This is audible.
Oh, oh, wait, hold on. Hold on.
Hold on.
Oh, sure, it's Crossy Road.
Just- just hold on.
Crossy Road, just go behind him.
Wait, wait, hold on. It's red. It's red.
It's red.
Listen, all you need to know in this game is that you run towards the danger.
It's probably how people felt-
I don't think it's whispering in my right ear.
Probably how people felt in the Vancouver Marathon yesterday with those hot-ass record temperatures.
Oh my god!
It was unseasonably warm yesterday. I hope you guys stayed-
It was a tank of the tank!
It was well hydrated.
Listen.
The tank is aiming at us, Ryan! I don't think the tank is dead! I don't think the tank is dead!
Literally, furniture was made of like actual wood back then. We're gonna be fine.
Well, I can't see myself anymore and I've been blown by a tank shell.
You're gonna come with me.
Where's this part?
Is this a tank?
That's a good question.
This is the tank.
Holy cow!
My god.
How did you get so lucky?
Oh buddy, bub bub bub.
Wait hold on, hold on, hold on, where are we going?
Where are we going baby?
Through the crack in the wall.
Slow motion for all.
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, I'm hurt, I'm hurt.
The end of this game just being American Gladiators is so crazy to me.
Okay, wait. Let's go, let's go.
Oh, shit, it's a fucking grenade!
Get him.
Come here, come here, get you a grenade!
Wait, hold on, wait for it, wait for it, wait for it.
Rush him.
Oh, shit.
damn you even blew up his corpse he's he's dead lady he's done
is there more than one person in the tank?
and then we get in and we drive it oh I told you I told you there's wait hold
on is there that's not a tank that's another guy that's another guy yeah your
war sucks yeah LL LL to war but do we get on it yeah we do it's metal gear
solid
welcome to guys not shooting at us I'm shooting guys driving this beast wait
Okay, war is awesome!
War owns!
Oh my gosh, okay.
Do we kill the lamb with this?
But we are the lamb.
I don't like the camera angle.
Oh shit, did you see the lamb?
It totally looks like a spider-man.
like a spider-man. Don't go!
You shoot the lots where I left and then we'll take a little shortcut.
Look at that. I got you, Ben.
It must be crazy to like, uh, like sign up for the military these days and then you're looking around and like
your fellow soldiers have like a broccoli haircut
I know how that makes you feel
I don't know what to blow up sure that inspires a lot a lot of faith or a lot of
confidence or maybe I don't know
I hope they give you this on new game plus change the tamper of the early game.
I'm just firing.
No, the people are out with that's the movie theater.
We're building condos.
That chair is indestructible.
I tell you they don't make them like that anymore.
Don't worry, Riot!
I got him.
Oh cut!
Camera transition.
Oooh!
I'm driving like crash pancake.
My tank!
My tank!
You got to turn left.
You just focus on driving.
Turn left to go right. What a world, man.
Oh
Why is it not then
This is crazy! He's gonna really die!
Going up the lift hill for the bat at Canada's Wonderland.
Okay, so obviously war sucks.
Oh my god!
I think you got it. Oh no that's that's nasty. That's fucking go bitch. War is bad but we
killed something that was way worse than war. This thing could have fucked up the whole
earth easily. Well are you still driving? Oh shit. We look a little sad. That's just
how it looks sometimes to be honest with you. I don't know, temperature, some kind of pants
you're wearing. We can make the tank healthy again.
Is it?
I mean, we lost the power.
That's bad! That's bad!
Oh, no.
Oh, no!
Scripted death.
You can literally only kill me in a cutscene.
What the fuck? Oh, oh shit, oh shit.
Oh, that's cool.
So I guess I just don't get to play the game anymore.
That's cool.
Ryan, I wish you were here! I wish you were here!
Ah! I wish it's bad, it's bad.
It means it's bad.
the whale.
Wheee!
Help me!
Help me!
Oh hey guys.
Isn't that the Ouija board thing?
thing. It looks like an iron. What are we doing? It's a wooden giant's toenail. We're
filling up the king's cup. You're, you're reviving me?
There you go. What's going on?
Megapines. All right, do I go this way? Okay.
There you go. No, no, it's not.
I just don't get to play anymore, huh? LD to call.
Well, I'm looking at my stuff. Oh, keep it down there. I'm trying to
I'm not doing science exam
Am I inside of the sheep?
Kind of hard to make out of anything honestly shit's more ready some tires
Minnesota, why do you see me last night? Would you like it all I could see is you I?
Thought you had your own vision
It's crazy. They brought Michael and Jackson back. They haven't brought me back yet
But you were in the middle I
Haven't been I haven't had any impact on the game for quite some time. Oh, that's the that's the shadow. That's the shadow guy on the boss
hmm but did it all start because of this dead dead ass rabbit maybe this girl
killed the rabbit and then she ate it and gave birth to a evil lamb
If she get but she got the CS2 knife.
She old man if she started flipping it around like an anti-aging style right now.
That would have been so good.
Next to the switch in hand to hand and stuff.
Yes man.
So now, now you play.
Wait, I think I'm in the bag.
Yeah, yeah, I think you're in the bag too.
It looks all mighty bloody in there.
Not my fault.
Oh, damn.
I can like, I can like move around.
You're going hey, let me out of this bag, and I'm like nope. I'm tired. It looks like I'm gonna toss you down the well
Really? Why'd you toss her down the well? Oh?
Maybe that's the anus of the sheep. Oh, I'm saving you. I'm saving you by shooting you out through the butthole
I think I think maybe this is probably like what your colon looks like to like a parasitic worm
Why do I have a parasitic war my butt some people probably do
Richard gear maybe okay the guy Jackson how's the dead lamb I'm literally wearing
Balenciaga you this is this burlap shirt with the red square that's Balenciaga
a fall 20. What does that all mean? I am not 100% sure about this one. I'm not trying to
I think I missed something, uh, tonally or metaphorically at this one.
Those heads were your heads!
You threw me down the well!
We threw you down the well because you took so long to get eaten by the lamp, so we had to kill you.
What the hell?
Well, you know what it says, last one is a rotten egg.
And I'm Sadako, from the grudge.
You're literally like Yamcha opposed right now.
That's game theory.
That's the theory.
I definitely need like some kind of explanation for real.
We literally, we are making fun of it, we literally need a game theory video.
Damn, they weren't wasting any time with the credits, huh?
It's so loud, it's so loud.
Like you're you're ready to go. Don't let us keep you all is well
I'm gonna pop out right gonna pop out
I'm gonna pop out. What does that mean?
From the well. Oh, I thought you meant like a separate process. I
Mean I thought of like the first session that we did
I was like this is like a good little nightmare style game obviously. I like the tone that are that going on I
Think it got a little lost towards the end
Thank you for playing well they they appreciated us so that's that is good
And thank you for releasing the game in such a way that I could play on the friends past that my wife bought one copy
But we could experience that the full
Surface area of the game. I appreciate it
Yeah, I think I have to agree. When it was kind of like ominous and not related to, I don't know, war.
And it was just like a skinned people. And they were like, you know, moving weirdly. I think that was good.
But then when they introduced the war and the guys blowing shit up and, you know, I think that's where I think I got a little lost.
Because I feel like they just try to say like what you said, like the war is bad.
And also it didn't stick to the landing because the most fun part of the game was driving
the tank.
Or maybe that's hard, maybe they're saying war is fun but bad.
War is the one thing that's bad even though it's fun.
War is bad but fun.
Maybe they're saying even though driving this tank and blowing things up and shooting
Sniper with a bazooka is awesome. We should not be doing it as much as we are
But general idea of the story is that there was a war and droughts the children performed a sacrifice to try and
End the war and fix the drought
Well, it fixed the fucking drought. That's for sure. He spent half the game in a canoe
So maybe they got a sacrifice one more in the war
That's true.
Oh, maybe there was so much of blood or so much of water because the first sacrifice was
the coffin that we opened up in that water area and then when we opened the coffin there
was nothing.
Maybe that was the first sacrifice for the water and then there was so much water and
then they said like why is it always water?
Then they sacrificed my character for the war maybe because the war was still going on
I don't know. Hey Ruka
Jimmy we just keep sacrificing see what else we get back
Instant pots coming back maybe
We got the relics
Well, uh, okay, it was fun to it was fun to play the game with you
Yeah, thank you for joining me.
Of course, I will go eat lunch and send my viewers to you.
Thank you.
Later.
Bye.
I did not, I did not hate it.
I do think it kind of, they didn't, they didn't earn the ending in my opinion.
They didn't, they didn't earn.
I thought it was cool when it was kind of like Tim Burton, like, hey, everybody in
the world hates you.
It was James and the giant peach roll doll type stuff.
When they tried to tie it back into like,
here's a lesson about the real world.
I kind of thought it didn't feel earned to me.
But either way, I will send you over to my wife's stream
and then I will go pee.
Good night, y'all.
I'll be back tomorrow.
I don't know what we're gonna play,
but you could probably make some predictions.
See ya.
you